Berner Phone - Alyssa Amoroso: Fighting FaceTune & Fear Of Failure

Episode Date: May 27, 2021

Alyssa AKA Publyssity is not afraid to fail. She's had countless endeavors and most recently has gotten her dream job as the podcast host of Tea With Publyssity at Barstool. She explains how she decided to DM the President of the company... and why it worked. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My brother-in-law is an only child and he doesn't get it because my sister and I will rip each other's head off and then be like, you're my best friend. And he's like, I don't get it. You guys just hated each other. And we're like, no, yeah, but like we love each other so much. I love that so much. Welcome to Burning Hell. gosh, I love doing burning in hell with a friend. Just taking a friend with me to rock bottom together because rock bottom is just like so much more fun. Rock bottom has a basement. And sometimes I'm in the basement. Sometimes you go below the basement and it's okay because it's not about where you are, it's who you're with. So I'm with Alyssa Amoroso. Nice Italian girl. Yes. She is the force behind.

I love that you use that word force because she's a publicist, but she's the force behind publicity on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And now the Tea with Publicity Podcasts. I went on with Page recently, and we went in detail about my experience on Summer House. Highly recommend you listen if you have questions after watching the season, because I had questions too. She's an entertainment publicist turned full-time entrepreneur who loves to spill the tea. Well, funny thing, the tea's hot in hell. Let's fucking go. How are you? Good. Let's spill the tea. I'm ready. Oh, my God. I agree. like recording with a friend it's just like so much more relaxed yeah because when it's not a friend I have to first gain their trust to manipulate them to open up and then I also low-key want them to

still like me which gets hard where with you I'm like we've already been through it like no ass kissing just lay it on me I do also to say that I've had a dark last couple weeks and I was going through a bad time and that's when you don't want to talk to anyone or leave the couch but they always recommend leave the couch and talk to people and me and you got dinner and I was basically dating therapist and it was going terrible like I couldn't find the right therapist you guys word of mouth is the best way to get a therapist and Alyssa has gone through a lot over the years yeah and I feel like you're right now like I don't want to jinx you but you're in a very good place and I was just like teach me your ways Obi-Wan Kenobi and you were like I have a therapist I recommend and she's been

great for me so I want to say thank you I want to say thank you oh my gosh you're welcome I agree I found her through someone else who also is in the influencer space so I feel like like you said finding someone through word of mouth is the best way to find someone and at least for me I been to therapist before and I felt like it was just me talking about my problems and they were like mm-hmm like yesing me whereas like this therapist will be like so like I'm I'm sensing you're really tense when those words come out of your mouth like what's this staring up for you so I think it's just been a mixture of so much self-work like 2020 the one thing that it allowed us all to do was look at ourselves in the mirror and be like do I like who I am and what do I want to change

so I feel like I just got super grounded in you know myself and then just being more spiritual and journaling and just being like one of those wellness people yeah and then therapy was kind of the last step. Oh, and the freaking medium that I told you about. We love a psychic on burning in hell. Oh my God. He really helped me. I'm not even kidding. Can you tell us anything that he did that helped you? So, okay, I went to this medium because I was turning 30 in January and I was moving into my own apartment for the first time ever. And at this point, I was already like a retired entertainment publicist. I like retired at the age of 26. you're golfing with a visor on smoking a cigar yeah literally and I was just full-time

Instagram thought and by thought like literally no sexual pictures but just hustling for ads on Instagram that was the name of the game had my own podcast and I was just feeling kind of like I was living month by month with am I going to get a partnership how am I going to pay the bills and I never was in a point where I was like struggling financially but the pressure of not having a set salary what could happen yes took a toll. Well, they said a monthly salary is heroin. I love it now, baby. But so I was like going through this hard time and moving into my new apartment by myself living alone for the first time in my adult life or ever, I should say. And I was like, let me go to the psychic medium because I just want

answers. And I just want to know I'm like in the right path. And I didn't really have that many expectations a friend of mine had gone to him so I figured it would be great and what he said was really impactful in the moment but I recorded the session and listening back in hindsight it's even crazier now because so much of what he said came to fruition so the biggest thing was he said basically that I had a stop being so hard on myself and I'm like my biggest critic and that kept that message kept coming through from like my deceased grandparents basically like she's so hard herself she needs to like lay off um and so i've been working on that so it's kind of like everything that came through i started working on yeah um he told me i had tons of anxiety which like

i thought i had situational anxiety but then it gave me a chance to look at myself and be like maybe i have more anxiety than i'm ready to admit i feel like everyone has anxiety which is why i have the podcast but like i straight up remember a couple years ago being like i hate one girl say they have anxiety like you're stressed come down and I had no idea that I had crippling anxiety it's just it's all you know yes so you don't question it and you just assume everyone's just like you until you realize like oh I don't have to be scared about like everything on my to do list today that's until this man was like and believe in him whatever if you want or not but until this man was like you're really anxious I was like no I'm not I was defensive and then I thought about it and I was like oh shit I'm anxious you're like

Well, now I'm anxious because you told me I'm making it. That's exactly what happens. That's because the psychic is telling me that I'm going to like fall off a cliff and I'm anxious. Exactly. Like, psychics make me anxious because I'm like, is he going to tell me I'm going to get hit by a car tomorrow? Like that's what everyone's scared of. I think you're afraid for him to be like, yeah, get your affairs in order because it's done tomorrow. And you're like, no, I wish I didn't know.

No, 100%. But the weirdest thing he told me was we were sitting down and he couldn't really grasp what I did for work because, again, I didn't tell him. but he was trying to be like your grandpa's telling me like you do something with the website because I was a blogger he like couldn't really put it together and he was like all I know is that whatever you're doing like has it been growing lately and at this time I had posted a video on TikTok about mid-sized fashion which is girls that like aren't a size zero aren't plus side just like normal fucking girls and that video was blowing up I had three million views I gained 250,000 followers overnight and he was like I'm getting like a sense like something you're doing right now is it

really escalating and I said yes and he said you're you are at the apex of your career and it's about to explode and I was like what and he was like I don't say this a lot but like I feel it like I feel something big is about to come and then the next month I pitched Dave Portnoy and got my job at Barstow sports can you give me some detail on why the fuck you thought that was a good idea why you had the confidence to do it and how the fuck you orchestrated it so i'm a doer with work like i'm one of those people that when i was in college if i wanted an internship i'd message the CEO on lincoln like zero fucks that's just the way i am i'm a go-getter i'm a capricorn why do you think you're like that okay i think innately you're like i'm a capricorn

do i have to say anything else i'm an enneagram type three capricorn like i am like let's fucking go Wait, but are you not like that in your love life? I am if I like someone. Like, I don't mind to be the pursuer. Oh, yes. I go after what I want. Yes. I really do.

Well, didn't you say you, like, message someone for two years to get your first job? I would, yeah, I literally will harass anyone to get a job. Were you ever afraid that someone was going to get a restraining order against you? No, because I always was like, okay. First of all, first of all, I'm a natally born a publicist. Like, I pitched myself to get into college. Like, I had, I was the worst student. I had the worst grades.

I went on an interview. You know, some colleges do interviews. And I just sold myself to this man. He was Italian. I like played that up. I was like, same. And then I harassed admissions. I would email the woman.

This is like a senior in high school or college or whatever. What year are you junior in high school or junior senior in high school? I would call admissions like once every month and be like, hey, just checking in on the status of my application. Like, as you know, I wasn't a great student in high school. but like I think my SAT scores spoke for themselves so I'd really love to impress you next year I got into the fucking school she told me over the phone she was like okay stop calling me you got it and we'll send you your letter oh my god I was a born publicist you ever get afraid of imposter syndrome and like I got this because I like pushed it too hard

not because like you actually earned it sometimes I feel that way now a little bit you're like sometimes like right now I feel that well I do and I don't because I really like work my ass off like the the influencers that are like yeah I just started blogging one day and I didn't mean to blow up yeah I'm like fuck you yeah I work my ass off like I literally every day I'm like what kind of creative content could do what kind of video am I doing I put so much pressure on myself and I do so I do but I don't like I do think I've earned everything because I work really hard yeah but I strayed so far from your initial question but basically what made me this is this is how burning hell

conversations go we're in the dark depths of hell no one knows what's going on basically what made me pitch dave was the fact that i saw this amazing platform that they created for call her daddy look at alec she's so successful and i knew their reach and honestly people could say what they want about the company it's a boys club it's this it's that a lot of it is perception it's not true we of an all female, like executive staff, the CFO, the CEO, everyone's women, had a production. And I just felt like I didn't see myself reflected here. And I saw a flaw in their business. And I pitched it saying that very confidently. My pitch started. So you criticized Dave Portnoy. Well, my, my pitch started. So this is also just a little tip for you guys. When you're sliding into someone's DMs, they're going to see

your profile picture and the first sentence, if not the first 10 words, eight words. So I was like, I've one chance to make an impression. So I knew my picture, like my hair was done, my makeup. I'm like, okay, I look like a girl, like a hot girl. He's not going to know who the hell I am. And then he's going to see the beginning. So I started my pitch. I said, hear me out, period.

Instead of being like, hi, Dave, nice to meet you. Yeah, yeah. No, cut the fluff. Straight to the point. He's short, concise. He's very, like, opinionated and to the point. So I knew I had to pitch that way. Again, publicist.

So that helps me a little bit. You wanted to have the same language as him. Mirror his shit. Exactly. So I just said, hear me out. I love your female podcasts. I think they're great, but I don't see myself reflected. I'm currently blowing up on TikTok because I'm talking about this thing called

mid-sized fashion. It's just like your average girl. And I'm turning 30. Or I just turned 30. I think I said I just turned 30 And I was like I don't feel like I'm represented Like a lot of the girls that work for you Are either younger or they're like thin

And getting flown around by athletes And I'm not I'm getting ghosted And I'm struggling with mental health And I'm just what I feel is normal And I said there's a gap And I think I could be the person to fill it And he wrote back literally 30 minutes later

And was like I like your pitch Let's meet and then I got the job. That's fucking crazy. And what's also crazy is I was talking to you, you were in a place where you kind of, you were like working your butt off, but you felt like you were kind of treading water, I feel like.

Yeah, like spinning my wheels. Yeah, like you were like doing new stuff, but like nothing was like catching on. And as an entrepreneur, it's like you never know what's going to catch on. This is the thing. Like I'm scrappy as hell. Yeah.

And when I was doing Instagram and that was my main income, I was like, okay, I can't rely on just this, so I need to do something else. So I started a podcast. Then I was like, I need to sell merch. So before I even came here, I was doing all of those things, grasping for, like, air. Yeah. And I was being myself, but what was hitting at the time on Instagram was like the perfect aesthetic.

Yes. And that's not me. Like, really, I like to be raw and real. And now that I'm just being myself on social media, people are so much more receptive to my content. I am so happy you brought this up because I've been like wanting to have you on the pod for a while But I also felt like my listeners are very anti the influencer aesthetic and I do feel like two years ago You nailed the curation and your aesthetic and you like I just felt like it wasn't in line yet with like who I am I didn't know if you were going to open up well this is the thing

again I'm strategic I do things for business I did that because it paid the bills yes so for me I've never looked at Instagram as like a fun let me share my life I share my life because I just can't help but be an open book because that's the way I am and you also are very informative and like we're going to get into that she's going to give us a lot of amazing tips but I just feel like I feel like you were feeling pressured from society to look a type of way yeah well what was happening was when I met you remember when we went to that New Year's house together and I was crying to you yeah because I felt bullied yeah I same at that like point of my life it was the darkest time I've ever gone through but I didn't know I was going through it you never know you're depressed

when you're depressed you never know it's in hindsight so now I could talk about it with knowledge but then I didn't know what I was doing and I had recently put on weight and I was trying to like face tune the shit out of my photos to like fit the the fashion mold and I wasn't accepting enough yet of the fact that like this is me well that's super powerful what you said because Alyssa I'm just going to be honest you're dropped out gorgeous thank you like effortlessly nothing done just like so beautiful and I remember something so fucked up that happened where a media company someone sent me that they like found a photo of you oh yeah that was face time face tuned yeah like you had like a little like what a oh yeah

Yeah, that guy's been blocked forever. I felt so mad that, like, another company was, like, calling you out on face tuning. It wasn't that the company did it. It was that he worked at the company. He was affiliated it. He posted on his personal. But Paige also commented on the picture. She was like, this is fucked up.

Take this down now. Like, she came to my defense. How did that make you feel when it happened? A little annoyed because, like, everyone. did it? Not only that, but like, it was kind of a bad example because I put this warped filter on the photo. So I was like, pick on one that's actually bad. I was like, this is just like, I put this like weird effect so it made everything kind of wavy look at because I was like, fuck you. And they were trying to be like, oh, look at the brick. I just remember what happened being like, holy shit,

like this girl is working our hardest to like make money and look beautiful and like having a man like make fun of it I just felt like it was fucked up well I just think in general like I think those accounts I don't follow um what are the accounts like do do ma I get everyone loves it I don't follow what's the other one that calls everyone out for like oh ripping off businesses diet product oh yeah I think that's just so negative if someone's going to edit their photos and or not even that just do something that's their prerogative. Maybe there's something deeper going on.

I don't think it's our job as like celeb face. Like those accounts that show Kendall Jenner's face like before and after. It's like we get it. She gets work done. Okay. I don't understand why we have to just broadcast this stuff. But for me, I was going through this weird internal time where like I didn't know how to dress for my new body.

And now I don't really give a fuck. Like now I just think accepting it. were like in a face tune journey i was where's your relationship with face tune now i don't really use it because like also like i brought up that painful thing because like you were like shamed for it yeah and now you don't use it well i don't first of all i hardly post on instagram anymore which is amazing i post mostly videos do you feel healthier no i just like don't care because i think ticot was really great for women in general with accepting what they look like because it's video and there's no editing and before TikTok though I started doing this like hashtag like

purely publicity yes where I just stopped like wearing makeup stopped using filters I haven't used a filter on my Instagram stories um since this past summer because I felt like I've always thought I had a small cute nose and I was using these filters that was making my nose look so thin and so like feminine and thin and I started looking at my nose in the mirror because being like is my nose big but like I've never had that insecurity before you know it's so funny I know you've stopped using filters and I feel like you look more beautiful because there's like a confidence to it because sometimes when people post a filter I just see the filter so like in the past I mean because you're you're ready have that naturally like kind of like pretty eye and little nose

and big lips so when you do a filter I'd be like she's a legit Barbie doll and then I'd see like too much. And I'd be like, oh, what is that filter? Where instead, it's like, you're just being fully Alyssa. And it all seems to come together. Like, it's not a coincidence that your shit is popping off right now where I feel like you're aligning with like who you are more truly. But it makes complete sense that you were like, I had changed my body weight and I wasn't accepting it. So how was I going to have other people accept it? It wasn't even society. It was personal. Yeah. I think people don't realize that sometimes. Like I said, everything hindsight is 2020. Like you notice. You notice everything and also the medium what he kept saying to me from the message from him and from

my grandpa that kept coming through was or my grandma as well was be yourself things which is loaded yeah but they were like things will happen you'll meet your forever guy you'll get your job like when you just be yourself and when I went into my interview with barstool I just felt confidently like I'm going to be myself and if they don't like me it's not the the right job for me. Well, in your pitch to bar stool, you had to do a lot of work on yourself to even get to that point where you had to admit, I'm not that skinny girl. Mm-hmm.

I'm not the young girl from college. Mm-hmm. I'm not that person. I'm me going through a transition who's having a hard time. So you had to, like, be really brutally honest with yourself, which has resulted in you being the most successful you've ever been. It's interesting, too, because, like, I grew up. so confident yes I imagine you was like cool girl in high school but it was it was just like me

and my sister always say the one thing my mom did so right with us was she raised us with so much confidence like and it actually got me in trouble growing up because my friends would in high school be like we don't like the way you're flipping your hair in gym class to get boys attention or we don't like what you're wearing because you know I'd get bullied by the lacrosse team because you're wearing short skirt to get boys attention because I thought I was a hot little pieces like I thought I was like miss thing and it's because I genuinely was confident yeah I really genuinely was and people that are insecure don't like people that are confident so I think it kind of got me into trouble so for the first time in my life when I wasn't confident I was like who am I yeah I went through

this weird like identity crisis almost because like you walk in a room and you're proud of yourself then one day you like convince yourself you're not and then it's like well what why am i worthy of doing anything but i also there's this incredible documentary everyone should watch called hysterical on fx with all like these female comics and eliza slessinger is like society's obsessed with controlling women's confidence at first they're like stuff to do to be more confident get more confidence and then when you get too confident they tell you like you're you're you're too big for your britches you're too confident you need to be less confident and it's like they're always controlling your confidence level to manipulate you and what's also interesting is you had to admit

okay I'm mid-sized which is genius because I always would joke I'd be like okay I'm not a size zero and I'm also not plus size but no I don't see myself in any models exactly because all of the models were either plus size or skinny ass twigs and even plus size that you had to have like a certain boob and a certain butt to be like 5-11 you know what I mean like every month model like I'm 5-3 yeah but and also like part of my like what I think makes me look even heavier is the fact that I have huge ass boobs yeah and it's like that's part of my journey too like yeah I can't wear these little like slingy dresses with no backs no no so I want first fashion wise what advice do you have for girls who are not zero who are not plus size on dressing confidently

well my therapist gave me really good advice and I'm so here's the thing I don't think I'm meant to be the weight I currently am. Like I'm, it's been a long journey to get here. I, it's so crazy. What kind of made me like depressed to begin with was the fact that I didn't realize I had a gluten allergy. Yeah. And I was eating tons of gluten and I was getting.

You're like and I only ate gluten. Well, I was literally. Bread, butter, bread, butter. I was achy for one year of my life. Like I remember that year. Yes. You were like, I've been to so many doctors. It's been so expensive.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm tired. yes achy tired miserable that's what made me depressed by the way just in hindsight so first of all like i think you could love where you're at while still wanting to like lose weight but i don't look at it as losing weight i'm like i want to be stronger i want to be more active i want to feel more confident versus being like diet diet diet diet diet diet because that's very unhealthy because what i've learned is that when you restrict then you binge like it's like kind of like this cycle i just tell myself the more I eat, the better for my metabolism. Yeah, it's literally like you just need to be fucking normal.

And that means if you want a brownie, have a brownie. If you just deprive yourself of something, you're never going to, you're going to then eat 10 brownies. And it's with everything. It's like, think of alcohol. Let's say you're like, oh, I'm not going to drink alcohol for two weeks. Then when you finally go out, you think you're going to be healthy. You're going to be a slushy bitch.

Yeah, exactly. So my advice is what my therapist gave me was she was like, go out, buy yourself some stuff that makes you feel confident in your current weight. Stop being like, I'm not going to wear the pants until I'm this size. I'm not going to buy the thing until I'm this size. Like you don't exist unless you're in that pair of jeans. So my advice is, go buy it now. That's my thing that went viral on TikTok.

It was a six second sound of me saying, you don't need to be a size zero to dress how you want. And basically, it's that. Go out, buy stuff that makes you confident in your current body. and when you feel good and you exude confidence, it's like energy, it's like a magnet. You're going to attract the right people, the right opportunities. And then over time, when you're confident and you're yourself, your weight is going to even out and you'll be the weight you're supposed to be.

Yeah. I mean, the stuff you see, look at how beauty's changed over time. It's all society constructing it. So it's like, if you can be confident in your body, think of how like huge asses are now in where like in the 90s people would be like, oh my God, like what is that? And I mean, not that all of it's real. but it's so far that they're manipulating it. But I think, like, let's normalize throwing away the old jeans that you're trying to fit in

because, like, you're not that bitch anymore. Let's never be that bitch. Like, I don't care if she was thinner. Was she necessarily happier? Was she wiser? Had she gone through the stuff you've gone through? No, let's get also, those jeans are not in style anymore. Gen Z's are changing every fucking week.

I don't know. Are we at bell bottoms? I don't know. Yeah, it's like, get rid of it. Get rid of it, right? Get rid of those old jeans. Stop creating this, like, when I hit. hit this. I'm going to be happy because that's not how it works. Yes. I have 100%

it works. And there's pieces that you could hold on to that are like nostalgia pieces. I learned this actually because I had this woman come to my apartment and do like the Marie Condo method and help me declutter. And they actually told me this aside from like body and stuff. She was just like does it serve you now today? Yeah. And I'm like no. She's like get rid of it. Who is she? I forget her name honestly. It was like two years ago. It was just some like Marie Condo expert. and basically she was like in two years if you want the pants guess what go buy the pants again like i'm not saying that everyone has like money to do that all the time but she's like you're not going to miss them yeah get rid of it if it doesn't serve you now but also think about money

so much of it is related to confidence mm-hmm like think about why like sometimes men get paid more than sometimes but men get paid more than women a lot of the time it's all a confidence in your relationship to it so it's like your relationship with your body is like your relationship with money where page just got a money manifestation plant but a lot of it is like what do you think you deserve and if you walk around life being like oh because i can't fit into these pants i don't deserve things like what kind of energy do you think is going to be around you it's so true and also like men love curves like so many men love curves so like any voices in your head that are telling you i'm not worthy because i i have i'm taking up more space take out more space bitch but you the truth is

you want sorry for point it you like that i was like you the truth is you want to be healthy for this body that you exist in no it's so true and like i definitely have a money complex a little bit in terms of i would say a success like issue where oh this is also something i'm digging into but when i was younger i never thought i was smart and i was an awful student like d's zes finished like the last percentage I just like gossiping all of class. I like joke that I had a like zero fucks meter. Like I really didn't give a fuck.

But you give so many fucks in your career now. But I've always given it like I've always cared about career. But I think it's because I have something to prove. And my therapist was like, who are you trying to prove it to? And I was like, well. Good question. I know. I was like, well, my parents think I'm smart now.

My sister thinks I'm smart now. I think my friends think so. She's like, so who is it? I'm like myself. Because I still believe I wasn't smart. it's funny because after college I was the I played tennis and all the athletes were dumb they thought because like we got in because of sports so they would like put in an essay and I was an A student because I was type A and they would grade me like a C and I was like wait you're seeing me as like I'm a dumb athlete through that lens but then after college I wanted to convince like my parents and my brother that I could do like real like corporate stuff and I was in sales I was in marketing and then I had a mental breakdown because it just not me I'm like I'm like I'm like I just want to make stupid fart jokes. But it's so weird because think about every successful entrepreneur, most of them dropped out

of college. A lot of getting fired. Yeah, a lot of getting fired. A lot of failures. And I think it's because people that are entrepreneurial aren't their minds work differently. Yeah. School wasn't my type of learning. I joke, if you put me in like automotive school, I could have built a freaking car.

Yeah. Like I am hands on. Put me in cosmetology school. I'll do your makeup and hair. I'm very hands on. I would just like space out. class and like literally didn't care. I'd pass notes to the boys.

What's so funny? I think we were similar in that like I didn't learn shit. I was just, I'm very competitive. So my mom would be like, okay, Hannah and Daniel, what did you guys learn today? I'd rather be like, I learned about botany and the parts of the flower. And I'd be like, I got an A. I'd be like that really cute boy finally asked me out, mom. And then she'd be like, oh my God.

Wait, so for someone who is like obsessed, career obsessed, where is your love? right now because I feel like you took a break yeah and like you're in your late 20s yeah which is like 30 where like you a lot of women are starting to think about their future and what's going on I'm feeling now like I'm ready to get back into dating I definitely the year that I was depressed was a wash and then which is normalize it normalize not wanting fuck boy energy when you already have fuck girl energy exactly and then it was COVID So I didn't even try to date because I was at my parents in my shore house. And I actually was like, oh, this is a good time to do all of like my inner work, which I did.

So now I'm ready to put that work to the test. Hell yeah. I was supposed to have a date on Tuesday, but we kind of like mutually ghosted. Wait, tell me. How did that happen? He said some weird, like, okay, so he was British and I just think our humor over text was getting lost. Like he basically made it known. he's like I'm so funny but like he wasn't being funny at all and also don't say you're funny

just be funny yeah and then so I'm trying I'm making witty jokes back yeah I think I was great he wasn't picking up what I was saying like he told me he's like people think I look like a fuck boy red flag so then I like I was like yeah well it's the pink shorts in your photo because you was wearing like salmon colored shorts hilarious funny joke was that on your Instagram stories you were like salmon shorts yeah fuck boys that like was so relatable and he was like he was like like I love those shorts period I was like okay so now I just offended you can he sounds like super sarcastic he I could but I couldn't tell that was the thing I think it was honestly just a missed like so did the conversation just kind of dead I was like I'm gonna go to bed like talk soon and we just never

spoke again and I think it was one of those things where he was probably joking and I was probably joking you missed our humor wasn't because we don't we never had met you know what don't waste time on that however what's confusing though is I've had had amazing text chemistry with dudes and then in person and then in person I'm like oh I thought he was charming but he's actually fucking weird and missing it all because some people are just like good texters or guys who were just kind of like short with text it's just subconsciously hot because you're like oh he's not he's not interested in this conversation I want to fuck him no it's 100 true so I'm getting back out there into trying to date now which is great um I don't know we'll

see if anything sticks yeah I think it was definitely weird when I first started working here I had a lot of dudes like sliding into my DMs and my audience has always been 90% women yeah so that was interesting but then I just realized like those probably aren't my dudes either because their intentions like I would click into their profiles and they would be like Dave Portnoy's super fans yeah and I was like I don't want to date a super fan that means they're probably sliding to every girl here's DMs so it's been interesting to navigate that and then to just ask them how tall they are yeah but you're fun because you're 5-3 so like a 5-5 guy you're like oh no no no no no no no 5 10 is like my lowest you know it's I'm not even gonna get into that but I know everyone's like what's wrong with short guys

no but I joke I'm like you who am I kidding I'm jinksing myself because you know I'm gonna end up with like a short stocky Italian man people a nice hairy just like me people no my kids will be too hairy you know what start getting him lasered early on that's what I say so okay you're doing amazing i feel like we got like i because you're my friend i pushed you also like now i'm just so ready to talk about these things because no i i just feel like i had this intuitiveness where i was like she's ready for hell she's ready i mean not like we wouldn't have had a great episode before when you were fully depressed and didn't know it yeah but like i just feel like you you've experienced a lot of lows and it's so weird how like you wouldn't have had these highs

without the lows and i'm not trying to make myself feel better right now but i'm just observing but also really quick that's my life i fail and then i learn i fail and then i learn that's how my entire life has been like my entire life i have to learn the hard way unfortunately i'm one of those people well i they always say like with an entrepreneur if you're going to fail fail fast so like i feel like you are not scared to fail which is fucking huge and you're a real pivoter oh i don't take it to heart because there's some people who will never even start a project because they're scared to fail like if you're fucking listening right now and you're you're want to do something and you've been scared because you're going to fail i dare you to fail yeah like

that's it's so much more successful to fail and learn from that journey like oh my god i started a tie-dye company when i was 24 called spill supply i know cute name cute name didn't went i bought like for a hundred dollars like seven hours i stood at this like flea market in queens did not sell one thing That means me sad. And I think my parents came one point to like cheer me on. They're like, we'll buy something. Yeah, they bought something. My dad was like, I'll take the pink tie-dice shirt.

Thanks. Great job, babe. And I was like, this is my life now. But anyway, these are also, it makes you more relatable and have great stories to laugh out with your friends. And yeah, nothing is guaranteed to be successful. So then what are you going to do? Just sit on, sit on Twitter your thumbs.

No, it's so true. I think that's what separates. people that are entrepreneurs and people that should actually be in like a more traditional work environment and no shade because we're all built differently. I just think so many people come to me for advice. They're like, I have an idea. And then they sit on it for five years and they never do it. Oh my God. Today I wanted to launch a blog. I had the domain name bought that night. It launched the next day. I had no plan. Like you either you're a doer or you're not. Yeah. Honestly, that's kind of how I feel. Also, before we play our final game,

Alyssa is like one of the OG influencers in my head. Oh my God, but like you really do influence. Like I've bought earrings from you like swipe up. I buy like some shit on Amazon. I've bought like a shoe I think. Like I actually am influenced by you. I love it. A couple things.

First of all, your apartment is so incredible. But do you just naturally have that like design style? Like how do you find your inspiration to curate your own like area of peace. I'm very decisive. I feel like I sound people are going to be like this bitch is like so crazy. I'm like I'm decisive on this. I'm very like I know what I like and I know what I don't like. So are you getting inspiration from other people? Are you just listening to your gut? I'm listening to my gut, but the issue is my gut changes every six months. So like I was like emo, I was guido. I was sporty. I was preppy. Like I've been every flavor. Like I can care less.

And so right now I like my decor. And then in six months, I'm going to be like, nope, we're going with the 70s style. And then the next week, I'm going to be like, I really love mid-century modern. Like, I just, I don't know. Yeah, but you just go with it. You know what it is? I like pop culture, like popular culture.

I like what's in. Like, I just always have. So you kind of take in what's around you and then know what you want to do. So Gothic's in. I'm gothic. Sign me up. Yeah.

It's not even just being like a follower. I'm not scared to try the trends. Yeah. How do you feel about, like, day to day, how is your makeup change? over time because I feel like you have a very good look where it's like not too much makeup ever but like you always look put together I have one of those faces that I could wear like it's my face shape no no no it's actually opposite it's like I could wear a full black smoky eye and I look

exactly the same as if I just had mascara on I've like hooded eyes which basically means that like unless they're closed you can't see what's on them yeah so I don't I kind of stop trying because I'm like it doesn't you can't tell that I look any different so what I do really is just like today all I did was mascara and a tinted moisturizer but what I do on like a day to day is just like a foundation a concealer a mascara blush and highlighter I love it I don't I'm not into like super heavy makeup I don't think it's a vibe agreed lastly trends also happen with food in the influencer community how have you, like, evolved in your cooking and eating? Because there was a time where you were cooking a lot.

And I was like, I would just, it's like watching a yoga workout where you're like, oh, I wish I would do that, but like it's beautiful. How have you evolved your like eating habits from what's trendy versus like what's healthy for you and what goes well with your lifestyle? So I still cook twice a day. If I was working from home, I'd cook three times a day. I love cooking. It's therapeutic.

I think it tastes so much better than, well, because I'm a good cook. But it tastes so much better. I'm Italian. Like, come on. It tastes so much better than, like, food that gets steamed in a box. You know, by the time, like, the sushi gets to you, it, like, cooked. Like, the raw sushi is now cooked because it's steamed in the box the whole way over. So I don't know.

Like, I think because I'm gluten-free, it's really pushed me to, like, there's so many things on the market now that are, quote, unquote, trendy. But I eat, like, brown rice and gluten-free toast every morning. And I think there's definitely things that are, like, in and out. but I think I do a mix of like my mom's like old school Italian meals but with like a new modern healthy twist. I love that. What's an example? Like she'll make this dish that's pasta with broccoli and and shrimp and um, shrimp. And sometimes I'll make it with just the shrimp and the broccoli and mix the pasta. I love it. And then, oh, a good tip is instead of like sauteing everything in olive oil because it burns off and you keep having to add more and more oil, you cook it in

chicken broth. So it steams and it cooks down in chicken broth and then it's way healthier than adding five tablespoons of olive oil. I'm so crazy with my olive oil. Like, I'm an olive oil slut. It's the chicken broth like thing. It's a really good tip. Because how many calories could this be? It's a drop. No, it's a lot. It's a lot. It's 120 for tables. And then like the amount of butter recipes want, it's like four sticks of butter. I'm like, okay. Well, that's what I do. Like my mom will make like chicken cutlets and I'll be like, oh, I'm going to do this in my air fryer and use no oil. Oh, yeah. So I'm going to do this in my air fryer and use no oil. So I'm I do like old school things with new school machinery.

Also one more thing because I'm learning so much about being an adult. Because you're like a pretty good adult. Thanks. What's your morning routine? Because I am a sloth until like one. Hannah, I have no routine. This shocks people. Because I envision you being like lemon water.

No, I'm the meditate and journal. Whatever the opposite of type A is, I'm that. I wake up. Some days I brush my teeth first. Some days I wash my teeth first. Some days, don't brush my teeth. Don't brush them at all. Other days, just shower in the morning, Sunday shower at night.

I go in the shower. I'm one of those savage people. I don't even do my shower routine in the same way. Like, I don't like shave one time and then wash my hair one time. I fly by the seed of my pants. Like I'm one of those people. People think I'm psycho. I love that though because I feel like you're, wait, are you clean?

I'm tidy, but well, I kind, I like to say I clean and then I mess it up. And then I clean and then I mess it up. that's that's human that's normal like i don't live in a mess it will get to an extent and then i clean yeah finally i keep thinking more questions but what are some just like really healthy tips you have of living right now because i feel like what are what's on trend for being healthy right now go to therapy um have a good support system with friends that you could talk about these things with i had like an emotional support friend throughout quarantine my friend jill who's like literally she's available on venmo because the thing is we're in the same

life stage. We're both single. We both live alone. People don't talk about that enough. Like after college you have tons of girlfriends and then shit evolves and that's okay. Yes. What are you going to do? Ask your friend about her baby every day.

Kill me. Exactly. So we both were living alone, single, going through, going to therapy. Like, you know, going through shit. And we leaned on each other and it was really great to have that. So a good support system, a good therapist, self work. There's books. Like I like to journal.

Just get my feelings out there. So you just like write how you feel? there's this thing called morning pages where you write three pages nonstop in like a free flow like it doesn't even have to make sense you could just write about anything just get out your thoughts like today how does that help you it's just it's putting whatever you're thinking or whatever's like laying on you down on paper and it's almost like a release so I'm actually launching um notebooks because we're going to call it the self-sale self-care scribble oh it's cute and so I said to my followers I'm like tag me during your self-care scribble and we're all going to journal together i love that i know okay now that we're all happy we're going to end with the seven deadly sins seven deadly sins what are you greedy about i think it's changed a little bit but i think i was greedy about money because i felt like my job was always so um it could be taken away any moment when I was just like

hustling for campaigns so I feel like it made me like a little cheap is that greedy? Well yeah you could be greedy like you just want it all and you have no boundaries with like my was more like I was greedy because I felt like I had to be

which I think has changed now that I actually get paid every two weeks and you don't have to not get paid for 90 days the brands take their fucking time I have a campaign from last year that I still haven't been paid for and we're three whatever how many months and you just keep bothering them yeah yeah I have companies who own me money too yeah so it's more just like I felt like it almost I'd be like oh I don't know if I could take that trip I don't know if I could like I would or and I would also say

maybe greedy with my time in terms of prioritizing myself sometimes over like other people yeah because I felt like I needed to um yeah I actually am I just felt like there was a lot of times where I would be like, no, I need to do this because this is what's good for me. And like, I'm sorry if I'm letting you down. It's just like kind of like knowing when to be selfish and then knowing when you can't be because that's a dick thing to do. And we want to normalize women being selfish because we're always supposed to be the caretakers. But if you're not taking care of yourself, how are you going to care for others, you know? 100%. Amen. Who were you envious of? This is really funny, but like people who

get success quickly. Like these people that, and I'm not jealous, that's the thing. I think envy and jealousy is very different. Yes. I think you could be envious of something without wishing bad upon them or not being happy for them. But I'm envious of people that start TikTok and then in a few months have two million followers and have 9 million brand deals and they're making so much money when it's something

that I've been hustling for for six years. Yes, agreed. However, I was talking to Des today about how like people who get success really quickly, it skews like how hard it is. And like, also you see as we're getting older like the scope of people's careers. And Des even said to me, he's like you got success in like comedy and entertainment so fucking quick like in two three years yeah and he's like it's giving you a skewed view of like how long it takes to like be really successful in the industry and I was like oh that's why like Justin Bieber you know you blow up and then you have this high and then the whole rest of your life you're like am I not as good as when I was in that high so success is so weird and it's all about perspective that is true but like look at

Taylor Shrekker who I like I've heard her on her podcast be like it's taking me so long and I relate to that for because for me I feel like it's been a long game versus some other people that happens overnight and it's easy to be like why not me I'm doing the same things I'm trying to be relatable I'm trying to put out good content some of them get well no it was a tennis player we were watching who won the French Open at like 27 and his whole life goal is to win a grand slam we're using sports metaphors now and then after he won it he basically like spiled into a depression and felt like he had no purpose because like that was all he was chasing and like you guys have this amazing journey but imagine like you pop off in the beginning and then you like fizzle out you always want that high

that you're like not going to ever have again unless if you have something like really big and i mean there's all different situations but like it is an interesting concept like that's why i say last celebrities who get famous later in life are like more stable that's honestly a good perspective to have like I like that because it is true like sometimes it's kind of like why not me but at the same time I'm sure people could look at me and feel that way yeah yes again I've had so many people on burning in hell like complain of like things they want and then thinking of all the people listening that might want what they have exactly and I'm like wow stuff is crazy but yeah once you have something really successful then all these little things you get don't seem to add up to like

that high that you had and it's also like someone who who has like a really viral idea that they're replicating over and over again or like a sketch or something, then they have to come up with something else after like that dies out in a year. Well, it's so true though. Because I wanted 500,000 followers on TikTok.

I got it. Now I'm like, I need a million. Yeah. It's like you just keep upping the bar. Because in my head, you were like, people blow up on TikTok. I'm like, bitch, you blew up. I did, but now I've stabilized.

Yeah. And I see people all of my, I have a group chat with all of these East Coast TikTokers who I love. And like one by one, they're all reaching a million. Yeah. And I haven't grown in like four months. Yeah.

And I'm like, why not me? Well, it's also hard to rate your success by the numbers of followers. Like, I was joking with Caitlin Riley. She's a TikToker who came on my pod. And she was just like, I'll think a video is so funny. And it'll only get like 500,000 instead of a million views. And she's like, but if I think it's funny, I think it's funny. And it's weird because like it doesn't directly correlate to like how good your work is sometimes.

That's like a big theme in my life that I'm working on, which is like not. I used to think that my job like really defined me and now I feel kind of disassociated from it in a good way where I'm like I need to get there I'll teach you because I had this really weird like shift happen yeah where there's a little off topic but I used to like go on dates and be like I need to prove that I'm smart and I'm successful and I'm the type of girl you could take home to your mom and I have good morals and I started realizing my dad actually said it he goes you sound kind of boring he's like what are you applying to a job yeah literally i was trying to prove like i'm the type of girl you could take home to your mom because yes i always want to be that way i still have strong morals but at the same time fucking cut loose my job doesn't define me on my dating apps i don't say where i work i don't want to lead with that whereas in the past if i was insecure maybe i'd be like oh by my i work a personal sport it's like no if you want me for that then i don't want you yeah i have to work on not correlating my like success in my career with my happiness. Do you know what really

changed for me and maybe this will be a piece of insight for you. I was listening to an entrepreneur on a podcast, no idea who he was. And he said, I literally couldn't quote him. We love no idea. We love no credit where credits do. And he said, um, he's like, I think what makes someone successful is how much they give back. And he said that you can't have success without giving back. And what he, what I started doing after that I started I took on a mentee I started doing free mentor sessions like over Zoom and like even like at my local coffee shop I tip the girl because I love her she's so nice Fabiola tip her all that like I just started giving back and like putting back out into the community and you feel like that's your worth that's your purpose it's funny because money manifestation

they say if you spend more you make more which is crazy oh well that's good for me because I spend it does remind me of like how I felt being in sales like I was making good money but I just felt like I was taking where comedy brings me joy to like make people laugh and like I'd rather make people laugh hysterically than like get a ton of likes on like a hot photo if that makes exactly so like what helped me disassociate was like being like wait I want to be known for being a good friend for being thoughtful for being a good person yeah and like that kind of made me be like my job is just my job it's not who I am Yeah. Beautiful. I love it so much. So what do you glutness about? What do you overindulge in?

It's her guilty pleasure. I think I have a serious phone addiction. I'm laughing because we all do. To the point where like yesterday I couldn't get off my phone. It's TikTok when something's going viral and comments could get controversial. People could have so many opinions. Sometimes like something I posted yesterday, I started going. viral and it was like an opinion thing and I was kind of like calling out this brand and then as I started getting feedback I was like can I make this stop going viral like I don't want the comments and it then I was glued to my phone all night because I just felt like I saw the video of the people copying my merch oh no oh you're thinking of the revolve one yeah yeah so like you're doing some hot takes now because like you have a plan this is the thing it goes from like you have

opinions, then realizing that people are actually listening to your opinions. Or before you just be like, hey, thanks this. And people be like me. Where now everyone jumps on it because you have a bigger platform. Also with TikTok, it's so dumb. Like I did a video about how weaner dogs are trendy right now. And people are like, dogs aren't trendy. Like, you know, you can't even give a funny opinion without people saying something. So I don't really take it personally. It's more like the addiction to my phone where I'm like, oh, viral. Numbers growing. Comments coming in. Let me answer. Dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, dopamine. But even the like high of it being something bad that you're going to see. But what's crazy with Summer House is I had to basically accept

I have no control of the narrative. I have no control of what's going on. And if I try to control it, I will drive myself insane. So when my life was dissolving, Des was like, you can't go on your phone. Yeah. And I was like, but I have to navigate like people when they're lying about me or people trying to like change the narrative and stuff. And he's like, no, you just have to let it go and that's how it will die. Sometimes what I do... At like 9 p.m. I'll text my mom and text my sister

because they're the only ones of checking in on me. And I'll be like, hey guys, I'm not going to be on my phone for the rest of the night. And I'll put it down and watch a show. And like, we don't watch shows anymore without looking at our phone. I'm playing a game. I'm doing this.

I'm doing that. And I just sometimes I'm like, I need to put it down. First of all, my wrists her. I've carpeted on all. This thing. Well, I realized like before we had phones, like people existed.

like you would like space out or you would like watch the birds or like I don't know what people did before phones but I think it's just actually going back to like you're fucking boring like we have to fall in love with ourselves again and stop being in love with these like avatars of ourselves on our phones which is like let's be honest that's what it is and my biggest thing that I'm working on as well is like I look at the reviews on my podcast and they're like 99 if not 100% positive and I'm like oh that gives me validation that I'm doing a good job because I'm so invested in my work. And it's like one day it's going to switch.

You can't be so high for so long. What I've learned about fame, which is so fun, is that first people discover you and they get excited. Then like other people discover you and they connect being like, oh, we all like this person. And then when you get to a certain level of people liking you, people love to hate on things that people like. So then that's when it turns.

And then you get haters and you get lovers. And then the haters are really fucking loud. It was, I said, it reminded me of this Bejee's documentary where, um, basically disco was like the shit. And then people decided they hate disco. It was too cool. Because it was too cool. So they literally burned disco down.

And like the BGs have written since they couldn't do disco anymore, but they've written like tons of great songs for other people. But like it's, it's just, I had the greatest like first two years of like being on TV. And also like, I didn't even really enjoy. enjoy it because it was during quarantine and stuff but you also realize like that wasn't real like that that like high 100% and also like the low isn't real I talked to blake horseman from I love him so much from the bachelor and he was like people watch reality TV the people you love are actually not as great as you think they are the people you hate are not nearly as bad as you think they are and but anyway

with that said it's it is everything's always changing yeah and if your happiness is reliant on what people think of you like it is a windy road 100% that's why when I get some negative comments now I just leave them because I'm like me I stand by what I said we're all evolving we all have different life experiences like I grow every single day and learn more every single day so yeah yep you just have to realize that I give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes 100% which is a great transition to when was the last time you experienced extreme wrath I was just on the phone of my mom this morning being like, I'm 11. But it was about like a family thing, so I don't know if I want to say.

I'm trying to think. Do you have like an angry side to you? Only with family. Is that weird? No, it's kind of like the people you love. You can be like, like sometimes my mom or my sister, they'll be like, you're so moody. And I'm like, not with anyone else in my life. Like family just gets under your skin for some reason.

Yeah. Even though I'm obsessed with them. They're my, my sister's my best friend. I'm so close with my parents it's like you just like have a different side around your family that you could just unleash and sometimes they're like

oh you have a chip on your shoulder you're this, you're that and in my head I'm like no one else would say like I'm pleasant to be around I can hear you I'm just rude to you guys you're just talking shit to me but yeah you guys are like so ruthlessly honest

so like it's like the most mad you I'd ever get it's like at my brother but then also like 10 minutes later we're just eating dinner wait my sister's well my brother-in-law is an only child and he doesn't get it because my sister and I will rip each other's heads off and then be like, you're my best friend.

And he's like, I don't get it. You guys just hated each other. And we're like, no, yeah, but like, we love each other so much. I love that so much. Okay, when was the last time you were a sloth or a lazy piece of shit, like didn't do anything? Okay, I've been waiting to say this. I love that.

People lie. Everyone comes on here. You ask them this question. They're like, I'm not really lazy. it's like we live in the same century right we all watch netflix i feel like people need to own how lazy they are i love that you said this too because like now i need to fight some people who came on my pod and call them out but i do think like if they don't have lazy days i'm like i feel bad like i feel bad for them i feel like you and i are probably similar in this it's like i work so

hard and i'm so fucking lazy too and also people don't know just because i'm not like physically at a computer like when I'm just walking around my mind never fucking stops so I'm exhausted from worrying about the future that's my point I was in bed last night relaxing quote unquote literally on my phone spiraling about my content like I feel like I have such a balance of like work I don't know like I could do I'm a fast worker and I could do a million things in a day I fucking city bike to work today yeah I'm at work I'm gonna go to the personal trainer after work eat dinner and then I'm gonna sit on my ass all night Like, I feel like some people are like, I never sit down. It's like, what are you doing?

I just, city bike to work and went to the gym and worked a full day. And I still have four hours to sit on my ass. Also, that's called how you burn yourself out. Yeah, like, I. But in a day, you could go from being, like, fitness model to, like, literal, like, person who is eating 70 chicken nuggets off their chest while watching Netflix. So I don't relate to those people at all. It's like, we all live in this Netflix generation.

Like, you're telling me you didn't just binge that show. Like, we're all being lazy. and I think I have a balance. Like, I think I do both. I live alone. I'm single. So, like, obviously when I go home, I watch TV. Honestly, envious of you right now.

Yeah. Like, I've, I have a person who will be like, hey, you haven't moved in six hours. And I'm like, hey, I didn't need you to come up and here and judge me. No, it's so true. I thought you love me, want to live the rest of your life with me and all of me. Fuck you. Um, what was the time you let your ego get in the way of something?

Like your pride. A lot. I have this like thing where in business where I always think I'm right. Yeah. Which is like not that great. Probably a flaw where like in my head I'm like, no, I know best. Yeah. Well, that's like a crazy confidence to have, which I think got you like your job at Barstool,

but then also can cause you to butt heads with certain people who have the same mentality. Well, it's why I think I like working for myself. And like just to put it into perspective, yes, I work at Barstool, but I completely have creative control over my brand. I basically am operating as like an entrepreneur. You don't have to run your stuff past anyone, which is amazing because you have your own voice. Because my ego gets in the way. My ego got in the way last week, something with sales.

They like said I earned like X amount and I was like, we need more. Like in my head, I'm like, I'm doing this. I'm doing that. I need more. I'm very headstrong and I'm kind of like, well, what's what's the holdup? What's happening? because I'm a doer and like when I am working for myself it's like I just go out and do it myself and like everything was fine like it was just my ego like it's just I'm kind of like

no no no no no slow down we need more we need this we need that and I think that's why I am good not reporting to someone because when I had bosses like I would be sitting in meetings and they had 10 more years experience than me and in my head I'd be like they have no fucking clearly we're talking about. Okay, there is something to be said about how experienced does not equate to shit. No, because they'd be talking about social media and they're 50 years old. And I'm like, at the time, I'm 25 and I'm like, no, no, no, like Instagram doesn't work like that. I remember having to be like, by the way, there's this new feature called Instagram stories. Yeah. You should utilize it. Like, oh my God. I remember when Instagram is dropped and everyone was

like, okay, Snapchat copycat. How do we use this? Yeah. So I think that's like my ego with my work. And if someone tries to give me a financial opinion, sure, give it to me. I don't know numbers. If you're going to give me a creative opinion, I'm like, thank you, but no, thank you. But there's pros and cons with that. Because imagine if you just, like, didn't trust your own inner voice with creativity. My therapist says it's what got me far. Thanks, my therapist.

When was the last time you lusted over someone or like a celebrity crush or just anything? Like, give us the tea. Who do you want to have sex with? I'm trying to think. I've learned that whatever I say, my followers, they call themselves the T-T tribe, I can't say it. T-tri-t. We'll then find the person in their social security number.

And, like, it's kind of scary. So I'll think of a celebrity. Oh, I re-watched the vampire diaries. Ian Somerholder. He's a freak. No, not even just him. You know who else I love guys? If you know the show, you know,

allaric saltsman that's his character name I don't know what his real name is hottest man everyone on that show guys if you're listening and you haven't watched the vampire diaries if you just want to watch hot people yeah watch the show there's the teacher's hot the town cops hot yeah the like no one's it's like the most beautiful show I've ever seen in my life because they could literally put fangs on them and have blood pouring out their mouth and they're still hot there was like a scale when they were casting that's like if you're not a 10 you can't come on the cast like it's the most beautiful show. There was a show called like Arrow or something

that all these guys were watching. And it was just like all hot people and I was like, this is not realistic. I will refuse to watch this. This is the most unrealistic, beautiful people you've ever seen in your life. And I got all my friends into it. My friend Jill is deep into vampire diaries.

Like they're the hottest people. It's basically like hot people porn. It's like watching HETV where you just love watching houses. It's like you're just like watching like symmetrical faces. And now I'm convinced I, want to be a vampire maybe you are if they could turn it manifest it i would do it tomorrow if i could so alissa aka publicity aka leader of the tea tribe what advice would you give our listeners at the end of this our little devils who will bond with the tea tribe they're going to have a meeting the cult

leaders are going to talk to each other what advice would you give to people who are in hell on how to survive it and how to cope with their hell huh so usually when you're in hell you don't realize you're in hell so that's that's that's a tough one we don't talk about that enough yeah we really don't so if you're going to bed every night thinking i hope tomorrow's better you're probably in hell so oh that's really good right like it's just that feeling of like maybe tomorrow will be different and then you wake up and you open your eyes and you're like i still feel the same yeah you know that feeling yeah and i feel like you're out of it when you don't care what tomorrow will bring yeah like like it's not like i hope tomorrow's a good day it's just like tomorrow's tomorrow and i'm

exactly so i think if you're feeling that way do something about it because now you know what it feels like that we just told you so you know hire therapist switch your environment for me moving apartments yes um even like feng shui in your room paint the walls a different color do something I think environment is really big with mental health yeah like really big so switch up your environment make sure that the people around you know that you're maybe going through something listen we're at the tail end of a freaking pandemic and like I think no one's mental health has been good right now so just do your best journal read self-help books listen to podcasts like this connect with people on social media it's just you almost have to change everything at once

Yeah. And one thing that someone told me that I'll leave you with is motion creates motion. So when you start, it will keep moving. It's like water. Like if you push water, it will wave in all different places. It's not just where your hand is. Exactly. Yeah.

What a metaphor. I love that so much. I always think about it. I'm like motion. Like if you don't want to get up and go to the gym, you're like motion creates motion. Yeah. And then you go to the gym and then you go the next day. Well, it's that same thing that nothing stagnant.

Like if you do one thing, you don't. know how it's going to it's like those movies when you go back in time and do one thing and everything changes it's like do one thing and you don't know how it's going to change it's a chain reaction because all you really need is change when you're in hell like exactly i mean things you get um blake to bring him up like he said he just started going for a walk one day yeah like i've heard him say that on podcast and then you just never stop like you just sometimes you just need to start but it's okay if you can't move for a while because i sometimes feel like depression is just like you need to let the sadness go yeah and do its thing and like watch Netflix and that's okay

too 100% Alyssa I love you so much I love you where can people like get the tea so everything is publicity um if you guys haven't caught on by now it's a play on words between the word publicity and my nickname lists so it's spelled P-U-B-L-Y-S-S-I-T-Y so all my social handles TikTok Instagram publicity and then my um podcast is tea with publicity oh and then also from fact just launched a digital show called the binge by bar stool where we're going to be talking about bravo that is so exciting it's fun it's just like like eight to 12 minute episodes me and this guy pat at the office just like breaking down right now we're doing the real house list of new york season so love it the binge by bar stool oh yeah well thank you so much for