Berner Phone - Alyssa Limperis: Loud & Aggressive Ladies

Episode Date: March 11, 2020

Her viral mom videos have blown up the internet but Alyssa Limperis is now chasing a dream to become a serious actor. The comedian opens up about her former track career, dealing with depression, growing up greek orthodox, anorexia, and dating after losing her dad. GET TIX TO HANNAH'S COMEDY SHOWS HERE Join Hannah's Patreon to get bonus episodes and get added to her close friend's list on Instagram!  BELLESA Visit bboutique.co and get 15% off your new toys and free US shipping today when you use code BERN at checkout! GLOSSIER Get 10% off your first order on Glossier.com/podcast/BERN --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to burning Oh, I have a good one for you guys today. We are in the flaming hot Cheeto hell today. Look, you tested these levels and you said, does it sound okay when you spoke at a much different podcast now? You're scurri-you-law. We're like, okay, this is. this sound good this sound good yeah they're like hey oh today but now we're going to whisper for the rest of it

no no no no no it's good we need to be long loud and strong women in 2020 yes it's great it's great okay good yeah i'm all about taking up as much space as possible it's why it's 22 that's right i always mannspring you can do whatever you feel comfortable with i don't want to make you feel like you have to sit a certain way thank you but um if you want a thigh gap the easiest way is to man spread i am with alisa limperish She's also my audio producer, as you can tell. She's an actress, writer, and comedian in Los Angeles. We rarely have you Los Angeles aliens come all the way to the city. I know.

Well, it's kind of nice because I feel like a New Yorker, and we met when I was in New York. Also, you're an East Coast gal. Where are you from? I'm from Seekong, Massachusetts. Alyssa and I met two years ago because, I mean, who won? I don't know. She makes Viro videos on Twitter. her kind of most commonly known one is when she plays her mom in different scenarios that's right

it is so fucking funny i think the boston accent is great and i relate to it as new yorker yeah it's the same kind of thing that's the thing it's very similar yeah it has very long island's energy as well how does your mom feel about you well you know my mom like films them with me yeah so she kind of loves it it's like a real fun bonding thing that we like to do but she's such a good sport because I'm like that it's she's a really good sport besides your videographer what does she do for a living she's a teacher oh my mom's a teacher too yeah she my mom loves getting involved in my project I think maybe that's why because they're teachers they're like there's something yeah they love helping and seeing their kid grow I think so but my mom

sometimes a little too supportive like I just posted a tweet about like how long a guy eats the girl out she like that she's so fucking supportive she listens to all my podcast never no negativity I told. That's the exact same thing with my mom. That's exactly it. And if you see her, you wouldn't be like, look at this ratchet crazy woman who birthed this disgusting foul-mouthed creature. No, it's more she's just like, I'm just so proud of my Hannah. Yeah, look at that. Yeah, that's exactly it. Your mom also has great eyeglass game. She's very stylish. She does. Well, you know, she sort of had this like, my dad died and then she moved to New York City and then she moved to New York City and then she moved to New York City and then she moved to New York City and then she moved to New York City. And then she moved to New York City to be closer to you. that's sort of how it started was just like we because we my dad died like in our home and it was just so like we were there for a year I moved home to take care of him we were there for a year it was like very dark and we lived like in in the suburbs there's not a lot of activity and then my dad dies in that house and then all of a sudden it's like it was when I went back to New York it was like my mom was left in this house by herself and it's like terrible I like they were getting right into this yes because you moved to New York City to be a comedian sort of you know I always I wanted to move to LA when I was in I remember graduating high school and being like I I want to move to LA and my parents were like, no, college. And I was like, okay, fine. And so I went to college and then right after I was like, where did you go to college? Middlebury?

Yeah, pretty good. Pretty decent. Vermont. And you played sports in college? I played sports. Yeah. Yeah. Wisconsin.

In Wisconsin. Wow. So we both went to like kind of. Were you a track first? Yeah. What'd you do? I ran the two and the four. Yeah.

Hell yeah. And the one sometimes. But then I, after, aren't you so glad we did sports? Oh my God. I am. I was thinking about that. I am just, because I was just in my hometown, and I was like, I'm so glad I did sports. It definitely, like, I was kind of obsessive and, like, type A, but I put all my stress and focus

into the sport rather than, like, partying or dudes or, like, hating myself. I'm going to hate myself, but for, like, reasons that weren't as painful. Right, for, like, I should have been a second faster. I'm like, yeah, I should hit that ball, which is, like, better than, like, yeah. And track is cool because it's a, you're on your own, you're performing. It's pretty similar, but it has. How do you feel about like the sports world versus the performance artsy world? Well, I think it's like very, I treat them similarly, but I just like this so much better.

So I think that's nice too where I'm like, I have all this like I learned how to, I don't know, be on a team and work ethic and how to just like get up every day and do something even if it's hard or even if you fail. And that's all very sports, I feel. Oh, yeah. But to not have to like fucking run a race and to get to just do comedy instead, that is such a treat. I mean, you guys who do track are pure psychopaths. I always said with tennis, like, our training or like what we had to do when we got in trouble

was your sport was literally, yeah. And like, that is so crazy. And also it's like we're like, we're kids, it's almost psychotic to think of kids who run track because to make kids run and to make them think it's like fun and a sport. And our friends are like cheerleading and like playing like with a ball and we're like, it's like just keep running. Mom and dad have shit to do. Yeah, it's like, yeah, you're 14, you're miserable.

I remember, I swear to God, I would be sick for the, I would have 10 minutes of happiness once the race was over and then it would begin again where I'd be sick about the race I had the week after. Oh my God, we're so similar. It's, yeah. But also stand-ups funny because it's like, I'll have to, I remember I have a show at like 8.30 p.m. downtown. I live in Queens.

And I have, like, new jokes I'm working on. I'm challenging myself to, like, change the whole beginning of my set. and I'm so anxious about it and then I go do eight minutes and I do well but then it's back on what's the next that's it for eight minutes for eight minutes of the day I have and that's why I think I love acting so much because it's like that's the all it's like there's just it's just I'm at peace when I'm doing it because yeah anytime once it's like there's something really nice about yeah not being alone with our fucking brains it's funny because when you came in I was like what what stand-up shows are you doing like I'll have you on mine and you were kind of like

you almost looked guilty I yeah I'm calling you out right now, but we're having fun here. And you were just like, you kind of got uncomfortable and you were like, I'm doing acting now. Like as if what, what is that your decision like of you saying, I want to be an actress? Yeah. What is that? Because I think it's very hard to say I want it or now it's a lot easier. But like we, I think when you do stand up for a while, there's like a real like, how often are you doing it?

Are you getting up every day? Are you like doing shows? And then when you stop doing that, and people ask what stand up, I almost feel like, I don't do stand. Like, I can't, like, even though I still do it, it's like if I don't do it every day, like, when I was trained. Yeah. Yeah.

How long did you do it for? I mean, I did it for, I graduated in 2012. So my dad got sick in, like, 2015 or something. So I did it for like three years aggressively. Then my dad got sick. And then once he got sick. I like the word aggressive. Aggressively.

It wasn't like, oh, constantly. No, fucking aggressively. Yeah, it wasn't joyful. Yeah, it wasn't like, oh, yeah, it did it. like, yeah, did aggressively. I hurt people. I did what I had to do. I was on guard.

What happened happened and I don't like to talk about it. It was three dark long years. People were harmed. People were harmed. Yes, constantly. Yes, but it's what I had to do to make people laugh. I know it's just. You just did that voice every time.

Yeah. Hello, let's do it. Come on. I need this. That is such the energy, though. A lot of times that is the energy of stand up. Why are you yelling at me? just want to enjoy my cassidia and maybe giggle at a couple stories that's it and yeah instead it's

like well i'm a fucking piece of shit i always go to that like i make these videos that are so light and fun and i have so much fun doing them and then i get on stage and my instinct is just to be like yep well i want to fucking die it's like why do this why does this happen yep i'm all big it's funny because mary beth barone came on here she's great she's great yeah and she's interesting to me because she doesn't do self-deprecating comedy and i'm was like holy crap like I realized why she's unique totally and I kind of was like this is fucking cool this is amazing because it's so easy to just be like am I stupid I'm stupid I'm the clown I'm stupid and ugly don't you feel better about yourselves it's like no if I want to feel better

for myself like I go to a Walmart but like I don't need to go on stage yeah I go on the subway I do Zumba in the suburbs okay and I'm and I'm fucking Beyonce it's like it me zoom in the suburbs Everyone, I walk in there. I go to Atlantic City and I'm a Kardashian. That's what I do. That's it. That's it. That's it.

But yeah, we don't need to go on stage with people who are like there to see us and happy to see us and be like, yeah. I bet you hate me. I'm like, no, we're here because we like you. It's like, yeah. But I feel like acting has a very different energy to it. Totally.

Well, the way I've been like, yeah, I've always wanted to act and I think I was just like, it was, but I do love comedy too, but like it was just harder to say I wanted to be an actor than I wanted to be a stand-up. Because I feel like you say I want to be a stand-up and people are like, wow. Respect. Yeah. I could never get on stage. They always go, that takes balls.

They always go, that takes balls. They do. Well, I don't have balls. So I know what you're trying to tell me. They literally do. When any, any time you, especially as a woman, you say, wow. I could never in a million. But then if you're like, I want to be an actress, they're like, okay, good luck.

Yeah. So you and every other pretty bitch out there. Exactly. Yeah. There's definitely more of that energy. So I think it was easier. Also, I feel like stand. ups can talk shit about actors in a way.

Just the energy, it's funny because I went to like an acting class. And if you go to a standup, any stand up, everyone after, if you say good job, they're like, yeah, I fucking fuck that joke up. Totally. I can't cut myself. Like, it's never, no one ever feels good. Ever. And I still don't know exactly why.

But then I went to this, like, all you did was have to read a script. And this girl comes up and she like reads the script and he's good and we all clapped. And he goes, how did that make you feel? And she goes, I'm ready for the big screen. And it's like, this is. And people were like, yes, that is the energy you need. Like I, like, and people were raising their hand. It was so like communal and they were like, the energy in your eyes, I haven't seen

in a while. And welcome back. Welcome back. They're like, I haven't seen you like this since you were a young girl. You just met me. Oh my God. People are crying. It's like.

The support was unbelievable. Yes. We're like standups will go. out and do like an hour of hard. At MSG, kill. People are like, yeah, like standing ovation, they get off stage and everyone's like, oh man, you missed that tag. I know, I know. Yeah. That's why I think we like it. I mean, I do like, I feel I like comics. I definitely identify as a comic. Yeah. Like, I feel like hanging out with comedians is the most not alone I've felt in my whole, like, yeah. I think it's very synonymous though, as in like going on stage, you're

acting. A hundred percent. It is. It is. And I, I just feel like they're so similar. And I'm seeing, I think it's really smart for a lot of stand-ups to, if they haven't, like, get into acting. Well, so I think the, the main difference I've found and why I have a lot of, like, peace with acting is, like, I feel like with stand-up, you like, you're, it's, it's, it's aggressive. Like, it's aggressive. Like, you have to. I get so jealous of, like, the, like, Nate Bargossi's. He's so fucking funny.

Oh, my God, he's so funny. And, like, Roy's, I don't know, just people who aren't aggressive and can make people laugh. Right, maybe it's just, because we're just, maybe we're just aggressive. maybe we're just maybe we're the problem here i'm like the problem with stand-up is you got to punch people in the face when you get on stage and that's just not for me it's like no you don't have to do that yeah that's my big problem like my knuckles they started to hurt i can't do more than three in a row i can't you're losing your voice every night there's a microphone you don't have to yell we both are perpetually hoarse like i don't smoke i like i don't smoke cigarettes but it's like i'm

I'm always one night away from losing my voice. I can't go out because I'm like, well, I won't have a voice tomorrow. I can get so easily worked up. Like, I'm doing like a simple joke about like my parents. The next thing you know,

I'm like, the emotional unavailability of men. I know. Yeah, yeah, me too. Yeah, I express passion.

Yeah, that's right. I do, I don't know what that, but basically at the very least, even if anyone who's a stand-up, more or less, like the goal is to get people to laugh.

Like you go on stage with, even if it's not aggressive, it's, it is an art form that's based on like I'm putting something out here to get something bad like it only works if we're like dancing together in a way it's a two-way street and I think my I just I acting is very much more like you just let go of everything you just have to like be like you there's no goal really except to like strip down there's no like stand-up it's almost like you're like putting out to like

get something and and acting it's more just like you're like you're like you just let go and that is like very freeing to me and I like that a lot so you're so L.A. now I know and so the thing with acting is you just, it really is just about finding, we're not even speaking, right? It's just our souls. Our souls are just touching. And I clutch my crystals and I look at my scene partner

in the eye and I say, I, and it's always about our fathers. It's always about our fathers. The past traumas, they guide you, they take you to new realms. I'm in a Tostito's commercial audition. I'm like, and that's what it's, it's just so, it's so ethereal what I do in L.A. Really, the

art that I do out there, it's you, you, I can't handle you right now. But I do want to say that to do stand up, you have to like, you have to pump yourself up. You do so much. It's like sports. This is what I want to do.

This is what I want to do. Because if you're not like 100% like I want to be like the next Amy Schumer, it's like you can't have the balls. And audiences will sense that. Like you have to make the audience feel comfortable. And the way that you do that is by being like, I'm okay up here. You know, like I'm good. I'm good.

This is where I meant to be. Yeah. But you transitioning, I could see you thinking about it like, oh, like, it's not that you failed at it no you've made a conscious decision totally that you're like wait this brings me more joy is what it sounds yeah I think when we start like it's like I think we're all probably drawn to like comedy or entertaining and that's just so freeing and for a while you just do everything like you and I like you make videos you like do podcast you do stand up you do and then at a certain point I think you pick your like route and you go in that direction it's kind of nice

at our stage like I'm watching a lot of our friends like choose their route like we all started by doing everything and now it's like oh some people are focusing on this some are focusing on this And that's kind of nice. And you can't do everything really. I like that you're picking based on what you said makes you feel good. Yes. Not necessarily with like agents are pushing down your throat. Or where like you're getting the most following.

I agree. Yeah. I agree. It's just a thing of like, do you remember like with tennis? I don't know if you're this way, but like with track, I would fucking pray for rain. I would be like, please give me a rain. And even though we would never get. It would never get canceled.

I love that you knew that I do that too. Like I would just look at the weather and be like, but you love it. You've told yourself a billion times. I love this, I love this, but I hope this girl sprains your ankle. And this by this girl, I mean me. Even die. Sprined ankle to car crash. I got hit by a car in college, and I was the happiest bitch.

The first thing I said was, I can't make it to practice. The police was like, yeah, your leg is falling off. I was like, tell my coach, I can't make to practice for a long time. He's like, yeah, we don't give any final words. Your family's here. These are your last words. Tell my coach. going to be late slash i can't play michigan next week and that was that it was so but what i the thing i

learned with tennis which is i what i love talking about transitions is that just because you're really good at something does not mean it's what you're meant to do and that took me a long time and it's hard for people i don't know if you're like me who it's like if you you get external validation that feels good inherently so if you're getting a good time and after yeah that's so many people around you that are like oh my god hannah you're great oh you're great you're great and then you're like oh this is what i'm meant to do this is my purpose totally when i it's funny before tennis i was so creative i loved writing i would i would i loved act a camera would come in my face and i was just getting yelled at to get away from the camera yes it was and it wasn't it was what i really love to do yes

and and i yeah i think like yeah i it's a hard it's a really hard transition to make to stop something that you are good at to be like I'm gonna but my dad getting sick changed my life in a very big way because it was just like you there's no I just think I always was like we all have like a hundred years we all have this and then my dad died and it was like we don't have time like do what you want to do no one's stopping you and like you die and then everything goes on it's like you have to do what you want to do so if something's not making you happy you just have to be like even if it's good I don't I have to stop because I'm not I'm not happy it kind of reminds me about like relationships too with men in particular where like I've dated guys

because on paper they look great and people around me are giving me positive affirmation but then it's like does this guy actually bring you joy that's where like all my tweets started was like do I like him or is he just tall because I realized like

I just haven't been like listening to what actually brings me joy and I was doing what I felt like people around me and when you get involved with the wrong people or the wrong careers it can ruin your thought process and your mind and you're not in your like comfort zone And if you're not in touch, like, I just feel like, yeah, it took me a long time to even be, to even know what I, what was me and what was external.

Especially as an athlete, you just told what to do. Totally. Totally. That's a really hard thing about growing up is like, yeah, you're, yeah, making choices for yourself that, with no one. Were you really, what was your relationship like with your dad? We were very close. We were, like, extremely close. So I feel like I lost my dad and there was like the sadness of the loss and also the colossal, like my world dropped where it was like, I.

I was going home once a month like my fan I was still attached like I had not experienced like detachment from the family yeah I just recently experienced that this year and I'm 28 yep me too it takes time it takes time and so I think to to lose my dad it was very like oh now you it's just your life now you what do you want to do with your life like you you don't even have this yeah I was yeah it just was almost this thing of like you have to take control because there's no my dad probably I would do whatever he want it was like we would go hiking to get we did a lot of together. Did he coach you at all? No, he never coached me. Okay, thank God. Yeah. That can be rough. Yeah, but he was a runner, so we, like, we trained together. We trained a lot.

And I was reading, you used to, like, do performances together? Yeah, when we were, like, really little. When I was really little. Yeah, we did, like, community theater together. Yeah. So you, compared to your mom, were you more, like, similar to your dad. Yeah, my dad and I were, like, twins. We were very, very similar. But then you get along with your mom because your mom gets along with your dad. Yeah, I'm the same way. Yes. My dad and I are exactly the same way, but, like, we think the same thoughts. Oh, say my dad and I would go, fight all the time yeah because but like it's all out of like you're me exactly but then my mom is so different so like I will I just love my mom that's exactly like that's a best friend that's exactly it's yes same yeah basically that made me be like okay what do you want to do literally today

what do you want to do and if I didn't and I just kept being like this yeah I don't want to do how old were you when you passed away 24 I want to say 24 25 I can't remember I think maybe he got diagnosed when I was 24 and then he died when I was 25 that feels right he had brain cancer. So he was super healthy and then one day I just got a call that he had a brain tumor and I moved home and then it was, you know. It's crazy because we all like know that our parents are going to pass away. Totally. But you're not, you're never prepared. You're not thinking about something like that to happen tomorrow. No. No. And especially my dad was so healthy. He was never sick. He was so fit. He ran marathons. He was a runner. Yeah. He's a, yeah. Yeah. Most people don't can't, I can't fucking run anymore.

Yeah. No. I, that was also when I stopped running. I was like, oh, okay. This is triggering for me. Yeah. I can't work out anymore because I'm triggered. Yeah. Your mom's like, Can you eat healthy? My dad used to eat healthy. I can't.

I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, can you drink water? No, he used to drink water. That's why, yeah, I have to drink alcohol at all times. How did it affect your relationship with men? Wow.

Sorry, we got there. No, but that's a, I definitely think it, I think before my dad died, I never took guys seriously. I just dated guys for like two months and then, like, didn't, I didn't need any guys. I never like, I was like, cool, girl. Like, I don't need anything from a guy. I don't need any, like, I don't, I'm like, do whatever you want. And my dad's, it's like, oh, I need everything from you. I went from just being like, yeah, I like, I like, I don't go out with your friends to like,

if you leave me. I'm going to pull up a tweet because that's how we express ourselves. But, um, Chloe LaBranch is a fellow comic. She texts me today. She goes, is this funny? And I was like, yes, you have to post it. She wrote, to the boy, I just double texted. I don't like you.

I just miss my dad. that's so yeah that's exactly it it's so true it's so true it's like yeah and to the where I just double texted oh god this isn't about you at all even slightly yeah but in a good way it did make me like I think it's good because I was like you value people yes and I was like it's I wasn't in real relationships because I was never like actually getting past a point of intimacy it was just like oh I can just we can just be have fun and then once I actually need something or once there's actually like I was too afraid to ever ask for anything because I was like I have any everything I need at home so guys can just be this like fun extra thing yeah and then once

my dad died I was like oh no that's not what a relationship is you like need people and you you probably saw a different side of your mom too to see like how valuable he was in her life totally and also just like what love means and like taking care of someone until they die and like being there when it's such you just see like this is not about it sounds like you matured like 30 years yeah in certain aspects yeah i mean that's the part that's like definitely hard is like i was thinking about that with the decade closing of just like oh i just it just happened in a day i just became you know it's fucking crazy yeah but i do love that new perspective so you're dating a comic and in the comics world everyone's like don't date another stand up don't date how to stand up

what is your advice or like opinion on that i know it's like I think everyone says it, but then every single person I know dates a comic. I'm like, who is not dating a comic? There's not, like, yeah, it's like when parents say, don't do this. And it's like, don't have a tattoo. It's like, you have a tattoo. Yeah. Yeah.

But, because it's like our workplace. Also, the banter is just so great. Well, that's the thing is like, I just feel like I was so depressed my whole life until I found comedy. And I just feel like it, I, even when you have it, sometimes do you ever just like listen to people having conversations? I like dissociate. I'm like, how are you having?

I just want to shake them and be like, this is, this is no way to live. So I just feel like being in the normal non-comedian world for so long was so painful that being around comedians is where I feel very alive. So in my mind, it's almost like, it's not even a question. It's funny. It's like a fish out of water being like, this is kind of hard, right? Isn't anyone else struggling?

Exactly. And then they put you in water and you're like, oh, shit just got easier. I just didn't have water. Did you realize you were depressed when you were younger? Yeah, I was like, I just. just struggled my whole life really with yeah i was like i i i i think sports helped i think probably helped a lot but it also probably showed you like how you acted differently than other athletes maybe yeah like how your mind worked yeah or maybe it even postponed dealing with it maybe like because i

danced aggressive i did ballet aggressively yeah yeah it's like this is this is ballet and i'm like Yeah. I feel like you're inspirational to me in a way that, like, you, we're similar and that, like, you're so beautiful and I'm beautiful, but you're a fucking aggressive bitch. That's it. And I literally, same with you. It's true. I'm an aggressive bitch.

Like, I love seeing those pictures of you just, yeah. Yeah, we both have, like, our parents have framed photos of us, both looking like we are on roids. We look. People thought I was on the football team in college, and I was like, so jack. I was 20 pounds heavier of full muscle. my thighs. Full muscle. And like I, that's why I joke that I like tall guys and you're dating a tall man. Yes. I'm Luke Monis. Follow him on Instagram. Yes. Yeah. He's like, what,

six, four or five? Bitch. Oh, three. He's six, six. Oh, shit. Okay. Now that's my realm. Now we're talking. That's where I feel comfortable. Um, but I like that because they make me feel small. Totally. And my parents are like, you're, the dating pool's cut in half because you only date guys six feet and up. And I go, but it makes, I mean, I have dated guys below six feet. Yes. but I just like naturally in the beginning like guys who are bigger because it makes me feel like I can't throw football farther than them I think that's it like where like I can bench my body weight it's like we are like strong mother and so like we need to feel like yeah a lot of men will say you're too much you're too

loud oh my god you're like but when I am their type I'm there fully their type but I've dealt with a lot of the god that is so I feel that that is something I like I feel like I tried being, I was told I was too loud and too, like, big my whole life. And I tried being smaller and softer my whole life. And then you just have to be like, no, just find the people who like you as big. Yeah, because even, I hate to bring plastic surgery into this, but I've been thinking about this lot. And I feel like, because, you know, you're in L.A. And I think that people want to change their faces to be what society is telling them they're beautiful. What if you just kept your face and found someone who, and was different than everyone and found someone who was like,

holy fuck she does have little elf ears yes I do but they think it's beautiful totally so I mean there's I don't know I feel like we just have to start accepting ourselves more instead of conforming well it's a very yeah it's a very like because we can see society more than ever you can compare more than ever and it's like it'll never be enough because if we get one thing it'll be yeah it's like yeah and who are you changing to be what society says that's going to change in 10 years I know and I feel grateful because if you're not watching the video I have perfect double D-t And so for me, I haven't had to think about plastic surgery for my titties, which is nice. But for people who have small ones, I can imagine.

No, but that's like, yeah, that's very real. I feel like it's similar. Like I think my therapist has been good at that too. Like I, you know, I was like anorexic for a while. And she would be like, instead of being like just eat food, it's like, no, what is making you feel like you want to starve yourself? What's the emotion that is what is happening in your week that's making you want to relapse? like what is that and then like why do you fix that and then that will like solve so it's like

I think we focus sometimes on yeah just the like final we try to fix like the final thing instead of being like well let's come back like yeah why do I want plastics or what part of me like what's yeah and me my friends are making me feel better maybe like the guy I'm dating is making me and then change that versus yeah I love the question why do you want plastic surgery yeah I just because I recently went to LA two weeks ago and oh it'll fuck you up I never thought about my face ever and then the minute I got there, I noticed every line. It's funny. I just, I was hyper aware of the plastic surgery.

I, like, I'm too lazy for that shit, but I'm like, I can't, I'm not putting myself under a knife unless I, like, need to for actual reasons. Yeah. And I've been, like, vocal about it, and I've gotten some backlash of people being like, let people do what they want. And I'm like, no, no, no. I want people to do what they want. I just think it's not actually what they want.

Yeah, or if it's what you actually want is to figure out why, like, your relationship with your dad's bad or, like, why you keep going front of it. available guys who treat like shit like let's work at that totally and if it is something that you have worked on or like oh no this is what i like this is what i want because it makes me feel better and that will make okay then that's fine then then that's fine i also recently saw a movie um i was watching shallow howl which is i mean absurd if it was nowadays but i was looking all like the hot girls they were picking and they all had like these thin lips and my first thing was wow their lips are And I was like, no, it's just society that's told me that big lips are pretty now.

Totally. And like, oh, my God, all these girls are just changed. Like, just leave it alone. We all need to, like, do it together. Let's all just together decide we leave alone. I think it's so true. Like, if we, yeah, if we all decided, then we, yeah. And what happens, giving people like a little inside look at the industry is, for example,

I'm like, I'll never have plastic surgery. And my friend was like, hey, this person will whiten your teeth for free. Okay. Well, it's a deal. It's a deal. The coupon, I'm into it. Yeah. So I'm doing for free.

And the dentist looks at me and they're like, oh, like we love the show, whatever. Like talking about Summer House. And she was like, if you ever want anything else done, just let me know. And I just looked at her and I said, what would you recommend? Like I just wanted to see what she thought. And she was like, oh, we could just like shave, you know, the top off a little to make a little more even. And I was like, oh, my God.

That's like to hear what they think. Oh, my God. about what my face could be and I like kind of was like do you see how easy that interaction was where I could just be like yeah let's just shave the top yeah next thing you know it's like oh and you know like everyone's doing it you just you know change the little thing of the nose pinch a little here and next thing you know you look like someone different well also I do think like weight stuff is very similar and it's very helpful for me to be like have I ever ever been at a weight where I'm like now I'm happy now it's enough no like when you're in the mode of like trying to fix yourself

it's never about the thing. So, like, no matter how much weight you lose or how, like, it never made me feel like, oh, good, now I'm good. And what it was was like, oh, I was, like, deeply depressed. I wasn't happy. And it's like, that was... That gave you, like, a little control of your sadness

to be like, well, at least I didn't pick out today. Right. And so it's like, yeah, it'll never really be enough. If you're trying to do it for another reason, it'll never be enough, so then you'll keep doing more plastics or you'll keep losing more, or whatever this. What are you most insecure about physically? I think that that's probably changing over time.

I mean... I love that. Yeah, I think it's... You're like, I found new insecurity. I think something, I think it's all about growth, Hannah. And the older I get, the more parts of my body, I look at it. And I go, I really hate you. And so that's probably, yeah.

I just pull out a marker and I'm like, please circle. Yeah, I'm ambushed. You told me this was a podcast about comedy. Yeah. For you know what I'm saying, naked. yeah and um like my left labia is too long oh my god my labia i have labia fold out on the yeah my boyfriend's like how is the podcast i'm like i don't i'm not sure i'll ever work again don't look at me i'm hideous i'm hideous i've shaved my head um i don't know i think it's just i'm probably now getting

i'm probably now like aware of like aging that's probably the hardest thing where i'm like i'm like yeah i'm probably just aware of getting older in a way that feel it's scary like oh I am not gonna be yeah how old are you 29 28 yeah it's a tough I think it's the time where you start at least clocking like oh I'm getting your friends are like I think it's just a lot of my friends are having babies you start being like oh yeah this is like age is so weird that way I like to talk about like in college when you're like 19 people are like what do you want to major and you're like I don't know and they go don't worry about it yes then next thing you turn 20 and people are like what are you majoring and you're like I still haven't figured out they're like you're about to

graduating here your whole life is ahead of you you don't know what you want a fucking major and i'm like whoa what changed and then with like same with dating like i'm 28 when i was 27 and people and i say i'm single people are like what girl have fun girl you too you are i'm looking up to you you are free i wish i could be you yes when i turn 29 everyone's like oh shillana see i feel like the alarm bells are going to go off like rape whistles whatever people are doing they're going to be like are you okay what is wrong with you, what's happening, and they're going to freak out. Yeah, people are going to, your mom's going to cry every time someone mentions it. So as Hannah dating, she just starts crying, like, she's not, but it's like such a, it's

been what, like, 365 days and everything's changed? Yes. But I'm like, excited for the attention it's going to bring me. That's right. I'm just people being like, are you okay? And I'm like, I've been waiting my whole life for people to ask me. I'm not. I'm not, thank God.

Yeah, and they're like, I'll never ask that again. Yeah, yeah. I just feel very, like, grateful to that we're in this, like, I feel so strongly about like we, the community we're in does not put a lot I feel very grateful. No one puts pressure on that really. Like in our community the pressure's on like so did you make X, Y, Z thing? No, none of our

friends are really asking like, well when are you having babies? Like none of my comedy friends. Is it a lay different? A little bit different. Like caring about more things than just the funny? I think so. People settle down a little bit more. There's more space. It's a little bit more suburban. So I think there's, you feel it a little bit more. Like oh, I should probably start. Like a family could be right here. Yeah. Where in New York you're not like

I could put kids in a closet. Exactly. exactly exactly yeah um yeah like my friend got a dog i'm like i think just things of like oh yeah i could start like building a life here whereas in new york it's just very like i just got to get to the subway without get it like literally on my the way to my subway today this woman was just looking at me and she was going come here come here let me talk to you come here let me talk it was like i don't even know what you're selling but i have to like now dodge like yeah she was so you like don't have time to worry about like if your nose is small enough you're just like i just want to get to my destination unscath. Exactly, which I think is a very refreshing thing. I think I miss that the most because there's not, it's kind of like sports. It's like there wasn't enough time to think about it. My sad because it was just like I got to get to this workout or whatever. So the LA, there is more time to be thinking about things. But in our career, I'm just like not, I don't have a single friend with a baby. I don't, I don't even think I have a single, I have like one comedian friend who's married. It's just kind of refreshing. It's like, none of us are that focused on that because we're all like. It is so refreshing. Because you could get in your own head. And it's like just talk to one friend. That's it.

Even just the minute, yeah, even seeing you, it's like, oh, everything, because like, even going home for the holidays is always a little intense because it's a different world. It's everyone there is more focused on, like, they don't know about, I don't know, it's different. It's funny. My brother is getting, my brother's 25, and he's getting married in October. Yeah. He has a cat and, and they're living together. Yep.

And it's great. And my mom jokes, she'll be like, this is my normal child. This is my crazy child. Yeah. And I'm like, but I'm okay with that. Totally. I'm okay with that. And I don't get pressure from the grandparents.

I'm like, Daniel's going to have a kid soon. Yeah. Oh my God. also your grandma's so hot dude nana still got it follow her on instagram she's a whore even that though it's like yeah she's so hot she's funny though she got married at 18 and she's literally will say stuff to me she'll be like sometimes i kind of wish that i did it you all way like you're having so much fun all these guys you're hanging out with this so cute oh my god totally what's it's she's only had sex with one guy your whole life that's crazy that's a crazy reality we like yeah we i thought that though

like growing up i was had so much did you get like pressure to not have said like i I remember being like, you have sex with the person you are married to. It's actually, I guess it's your grandma and mom. I'm from Park Slope, Brooklyn, which is like a very, you know, like, oh, I didn't know that. It's like very. You grew up in Brooklyn. Yeah. Wow.

So everyone, it's like, Park Slope is, I think, like, the center of like all lesbians. And very hippie. It's very, like, hippie granola. Like, I grew up, like, everyone has different families. I remember, like, preschool people were like, some people have, you know, they get raised by their grandma. Some people have two dads. Some people.

Oh, wow. transgender like parent in my like kindergarten class I remember it was just a it was a different upbringing my parents were at the point I was so obsessed with tennis because at like 16 there's a huge drop off of girls who like get boobs and discover boys yes and like I didn't get boobs until college yeah and I was so focused on tennis that it got to a point where they were like like please like you think about something besides tennis totally totally totally so like when I got a boyfriend at 17 I was like can Can I bring him to, you know, like, my grandparents' house and sleep over? And they're like, yeah, do whatever fuck you want.

Yeah, they have, like, condoms on the bed. Yeah, like, I'm a loob, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't have that old school, like, and we weren't religious. Oh, so that's, that's very interesting. I grew up very religious, very Catholic, Greek Orthodox. Oh, yeah. But I went to, but I was brought up Greek Orthodox in the church, and then I went to Catholic school. So I had like, hyper.

Yeah, yeah, I had it from every end. But also Greeks, I'm Italian. Greeks are very similar Italians because we're aggressive. We're so aggressive. Yeah, it's like, comment on this podcast occasionally. The negative reviews I get is either I talk about tennis too much or that I talk over my guests.

The way you have a fucking conversation If you're talking over each other. If I'm not talking over you, I'm not speaking to you. Then we're not having a conversation. If you talk and I wait for two seconds to talk, that means I didn't hear what you said. Because I'm thinking about something else.

The only way I can be focused is if I'm constantly talking. It's like, we're having a full conversation talking at the exact same time and it is a quality conversation. Yeah. And that means I'm into it. That's exactly it.

That means I like the conversation. Wow, that's so true. Yeah. It's how New Yorker's talk. Yeah, it's a very Greek thing too. Yeah. Like, if I don't start my sentence before your sentence ends, I don't care what you're saying. Exactly.

We're not friends. Yeah, then we're in a work meeting. Yeah. We're on a conference call. That's it. Because otherwise, yeah. Yeah. I also, I want to say, how is your relationship with food now?

Yeah, it's better, I think. It's better. I think more or less now I'm like, I think I'll always deal with it. It's never like gone. but more or less it's like I can track it like as long as I am doing listening to my body and doing what I want and not reject my it's like when I reject my it was like when I was like rejecting what my body wanted and going against it I turned to food so it's like as long as I'm really aware of like and LA's really really helped me with that because it's like I moved there by

myself I had an apartment by myself and I just had a lot of time to be like what do you want to do what do you and when I'm really like oh I'm doing I'm doing what I want with my career I'm And realizing that, like, you're not selfish or you're not being like gluttonous because you're deciding to sleep in or you're deciding. Yes, you're listening to your body and like, oh, the selfish thing is so hard because it's like, it's not, it's literally not, it's hard to, am I being selfish? It's like, no, no, no, you're asking for what you need or you're getting what you need. That is not selfish.

You're empathizing with yourself. Yes, you're, I have a friend who's struggling with an end disorder right now. And we keep going back to, I'm like, you're just being so mean to yourself. Yeah, that's it. Like you're, she's bulimic and I'm like, every time you do it is like a way of hurting yourself. Hurting yourself when it's like the negative self talk. And I feel like, yeah, because it's not about food. It's about having the talk in your head to be like, hey, you didn't have a perfect day.

And it's okay because you're human. Totally. And that sounds so easy for me to say, but to get to that point is hard. It's hard. And it takes years and years and years. Especially when you're like not where you are with your career yet or like in your relationships or like yourself. That's what I think it is. I think it's really that because I'm like now I look back.

at when it was the worst. And I was like, I didn't know. You weren't in alignment. I wasn't in alignment. That was L.A. think to say, but. No, but I love it. Yeah, I wasn't in, yeah, and I feel very much, that's a nice way to put it. I feel very now, like I'm pretty much in alignment.

And any time I'm not, that's probably on food stuff. So it's almost now if I see it as like, if food stuff is acting up, take a second and be like, what's happening? And also, I like that you say food stuff as in, you've kind of detached from it. Yes. Because I suffer from anxiety or depression, but I used to be like, yeah, I'm just a crazy person right i used to be like i like in tennis i'm like i'm a mental case yeah but now i'm like oh that's anxiety speaking her name is sarah and she's a cunt yes i fucking hate her where it's like or like

the food thing comes and it's like no that's not alissa that's elissa's main roommate yes who's like so fucking annoying yes and sometimes you have to get involved in it in the weeds to get out that's it but it's not exactly it's and once you can and like your friend who's believe it's like i think when when you can't separate those two things that's when it's hard to it takes a while to heal because you're like for a while that it's one and the same you can't separate the two whereas now it could be like oh no this is a visitor that I want but I'm not going to lie it's still like it happens you know it's a if you're struggling and you feel like you're really it's it's just a long windy road and I think you're right like if you don't have a perfect day it's okay are you

hard on yourself when you relapse no I I don't think so because I'm um again it's like it's something is probably happening in my life that's like stressing me out or that's that that I'm using food I think like the cycle is shorter so like if I have a few bad days again the cycle is shorter for me to snap out of and go away whereas like when it first started it was like so painfully hard to break the cycle whereas now it's like even if I slip okay well we can yeah also your job it's funny because you call it like a slip which is a loss of control but that slip is you being hyper control that's right yeah so like it's so like it's I know I hate to use the crazy word but it's like weird um dynamic yeah do you ever feel

But also it's tough because, like, you think that you're doing better for yourself, but don't you have, like, low energy and stuff when you don't have calories? It's the worst thing. Yeah, I'm cranky. I'm, like, not myself. I'm not happy. My skin looks bad. I'm like, I don't have energy to do the things.

That's why it's, like, the enemy, because it's like, the way I'll be happy right now is if I'm doing the things I want to be doing. And if you're not eating, you can't even do those things. And then that makes you more and more. So, but I think, like, honestly, videos even, like, making, making stuff is my new, like, like when I have like even after the holidays I was so exhausted I was like I feel I feel bad and I'm like okay what do I know what to do I like sleep in I eat the foods I like I make videos I connect with friends and then I'm good so that feels good too to have like a

yeah a plan it's great that you've understood like your cycle yes like you just you're understanding yourself better to know because I feel like so many people I felt exhausted after the holiday exhausted and then I you feel guilty because you're supposed to be jolly yeah exactly the fucking music I wanted to just blow my brains out by the end it's like happy happy happy happy I don't like this and then during vacation you feel pressure like am I working enough am I not working enough especially as entrepreneurs yes and yeah am I spending enough time with my family or people and um but it's all just your own like fight with yourself yeah that's definitely a hard part of being like an entrepreneur is like there's no real off time so it's hard to be like you can it's hard to be like no this is like

fully an off time because without being hard on yourself and being like you didn't do anything today and like you don't have a nine to five right so you're never yeah that's the hard part i also will sometimes it'll i'm kind of a workaholic and i will wake up with him just exhausted and then i realized like when was the last day you didn't do anything totally and i know that i just watched like the kevin heart documentary did you see no i got to watch oh my god well he it's kind of controversial because it's about him trying to he's bringing up past dramas of like infidelity and um like saying homophobic stuff and he wanted to like tell his story but it shows like it starts off showing that he wakes up at 5 a.m. every day and he's like such a fucking hard worker and all this stuff and then he basically

was like I cheated because I didn't have like my my crew with me to protect me in Vegas and it got like a little weird and I started reading reviews you know when you're watching something and you're like is this let me start reading reviews yes and I started to think like I'm never going to wake up at 5 a.m. Also I don't feel like I'm less productive because I won't be able to write a full sentence until like 3 p.m. anyway. This was aggressive for us to do 1 p.m. I'm, I'm going to leave here and have an espresso. I'm like, yeah, at 1 p.m. Yeah. You sent the invite and it said noon and my heart sank and you said, no, no, it's one. I said, well, thank God. I know, you freaked out. It can't be noon. Okay, so I accidentally put noon.

She's like, I think there's a time change issue. There's a time change. I thought that like I my team's calling you. My mom's calling like, ah, I heard that you want my daughter at noon. I thought it said like 8 a.m. It literally said, and then I was like, oh, I fucked it. Because it was a, it was, it wasn't Pacific time, but it was specific time at like 9 a.m. Which meant 12. Yeah, yeah. But I fucked it.

We, we're here and that's what's important. But yeah, this documentary was interesting because he was just like to be successful. But it got me to thinking, like, I feel like you're addicted to work. And your whole thing was about how his family was just like, we just want him to spend more time with us. Yeah. And he was like, I just need to be a better dad, a better dad, but I also need to wake up. it was stressful stressful stressful yeah he's so successful but i think that's what this podcast is about that i bring successful people on to tell you that success does not equal mental health no at all

and there's no thing there's no gig you get or moment where you're like oh great like i'm cured because of this like if you don't take care of your mental health the job stuff is like not gonna i was thinking yesterday i was like falling asleep and i was like am i different than before i got summer house and then i was like i'm the same i have the same mind i'm the same girl i'm the same person on the subway. I happen to be having a different experience. Sure. And I feel more in alignment because it's what I love to do. If it wasn't Summerhouse, maybe it's like a play or

like it was a digital series I did. The two of us in a play. It's just sumo wrestling. They're like, no, this is Tennessee Williams. This is supposed to be very low key. Grounded. We're in like the 40s. The two of us are just like, what'd you say bitch? We're reading poetry. We're fucking spoken word. We're

yelling word. It's not spoken word. It's yelling word. Like, Italians and Greeks are so fucking loud. Yeah. It's just culture, though. Yeah. Yeah. I was talking to another friend about comedians and how I feel like East Coast, West

Coast. A lot of comedians come from there as opposed to like, you know, Kansas. Because we're, I mean, everyone's an immigrant, but we're the loud immigrants. Yes. Like we're the Italians, the Irish, the Greeks who come in with trauma, the Jews. Yes. With trauma. And then we talk it out.

Yeah. I know. Yeah. And we scream it out. We eat it out. We cook it out. Yeah. We cook it out. We fight it out. Well, that's, I wonder, a hard thing, too, that I've been thinking about. Like, I love my alone time because probably I grew up in such a family where it was like, everyone was talking and we had family around all the time. But then I'm also like, I also am so used to having family around that if I have too much alone time, I'm probably, my body's probably like, what's happening? We're not used to this. What's it like being away from your boyfriend and your family right now? I think it was good for me because I, I, yes, I moved home to take care of my time. dad. I was literally living with my mom and my dad and my brother for a full year. And then I moved back and was like basically, you know, with my boyfriend almost every night or my mom. And it was like, I think since the moment my dad died, I had not spent a day or a night like alone. And so I think it was very helpful for me to like be like, hold on, slow down. Like, you're like, like, need to

learn how to be a human again on your own because it's just, it's, yeah, I think it was like, now it's, it was so nice to see them this break. So I was like, oh, I haven't seen you guys in a while. but for the first few months was like this is what I need. I need some time to like learn how to be a normal human. How does it affect like I think a lot of people listen have had long distance relationship? Yeah. What is that like?

Well, I think yeah, I mean we saw each other like once a month because his family's in LA and mine's in New York. So we got to see each other a fair amount and also was it like fun to be like I missed you. Yeah, it was fun. And I think we've talked a lot about how like for both of us the more it was better for both of us for me to be able to be a normal human on my own. Like that's going to help the whole relationship.

Like, if I can be better on my own, that's going to help the relationship. Yeah, and when he's better on his own, it's even better. And also as comedians, it's funny because you guys work every night. I know. So it's not like you're missing the, like, five to ten. That's right. Chilling after work together. Right.

We were very used to, like, yeah, exactly. Like, I wasn't waiting by the dinner table. Like, well, he's not home. It's like, yeah, that never was. We went out to dinner at, like, midnight. But, yeah. But I think it was good. And, like, now it will, it'll be nice to see how it feels like to be back in the same place.

with both of us knowing that we are individual humans on our own. Before we play our final game, I've one last question. I'm like envisioning Lala Land, like you're Emma Watson. But like what are the auditions like? What is your day-to-day like? Yeah, I mean, I audition for like commercials and for regular stuff. So it's just a lot of like, for regular stuff, you have to prepare a lot and memorize a lot. Oh, I hate that shit.

Are you good at memorizing? I think it's probably more the type A thing. It's like our work ethic. I don't know if I'm good at it, but like I treat it like exams. Like, I just write it out a million times and I say it out a million times. So, like, yeah, I like it. It gives me structure and it gives you something to do. I love auditioning for those things because you have read about the character.

You know the character. You can make real choices. You can really, yeah. Commercials is totally different. You just kind of go in and it's like a full crap shoot about, like you don't get the script ahead of time. You just go in and sometimes almost every commercial edition I ever go on, they'll go. after the first take, Alyssa, you gotta do a, no, you gotta do a lot less, you gotta, literally, they're like,

you're doing so much, just the eyes just don't do any of that. So yeah, I get, I get, yeah, commercials, they want you to be so, anytime I go into a, like, normal, whenever they're like, we just want you to be natural and normal, I swear, I'm like, oh, I'm not gonna, this is, they're gonna hate me. Whereas when they're like, be big and whatever. What commercials have you done? This, this year I did Walmart, or as a mom, yes, I'm now in the bracket where I'm like, mom of four. Like, it happens. I was like, quirky teen, and then now I'm like, I have four children. I'm like haggard mom. You skip the like hot, like single girl? Because commercials like, yeah, it's like I was never hot enough to be like a like a bud light girl. So it was like I was either going to be like sort of like

you're double D's. Yeah, the double these didn't come in in time. These are new. And yeah, so it's like you're, if you can't be a party girl. Also I guess the consumers are like the teenagers or the or like moms. Yeah. So I'm just, I've skipped a mom. So yeah, I did a Walmart commercial this year. I did an AT&T commercial this year. Yeah, that one I was like a wife. That's awesome. Anthropology, yeah. But I also like that this industry can be very, like, critical of what you do from the outside. And we're even talking, like, people will make fun of us for posting tweets on our Instagram or, like, people probably made fun of them, like, oh, you're selling out doing commercials. Oh, totally. I mean, I haven't heard you say that, but I just know. Of course. And it's so funny because it's like, um, the paycheck, hello.

that's the thing and then like tweets it's like do you really want to see my I don't want to see my face every day that's why I post tweets yeah I don't I know I have to be active on it and I don't want to shove my face every day face every day agreed and I've been I've really tried to switch the corner of like I don't care what people like if I like I like making people laugh I like acting I like working so I'm just gonna like focus on that if people are like oh that's lame or whatever I'm like okay well then you're not my then you're not this isn't really for you we're all it's this weird thing where we're all co-worker yeah we're not working for each other we're working for like people who are it's so true like people make comments i'm like do you pay my rent yeah do you pay my rent that's the thing i don't know i'm getting out of too yeah i'm getting a work so you pay my fucking rent anyway sorry um i think people are like ah no yeah they just burn their um ear drums out but they don't have ear drums at this point if they're listening at this point the earsrums are gone no one has ear drums anymore yeah you're just bouncing off the inside of their brain

it's hard to be like don't care what people think but I've just come to terms with being like oh these people think that way because I'm doing something right because no one talk shit on me when I wasn't doing well my god it's so true instead of being like I don't care what they think I'm like oh they just totally I'll just be like oh they want to do what I'm doing or oh they're unhappy with themselves I do care what they think and I think that they want better things for themselves I think that's it like realizing that if you're being nice and yourself and someone is reacting in a weird way that's not it's just not about you so then weird way is the great way to put it because like i'll post tweets and like people like and then like a bunch of

dudes will be like women aren't funny or you're not funny and i'm like okay that's a weird way to respond to this that wasn't coming for you in any way that's yeah i'm going to take it as like maybe like you're unhappy that it that a young girl is doing better than you i don't know a hundred percent and yeah so it's like yeah this is just kind of this is just noise and also there's no like better or worse it's i'm the point of this is podcast is like you want to find joy yeah and if that's it if like if if I'm doing that I will say the only time criticism gets to me the only time I get obsessed with comments is when I don't think something's that funny and I post it 100% of the time is as your own

insecurity it's my own insecurity so as long as I post something and I think this is original this is funny this is something I've made and I think is funny I feel like no one can hurt me but it's like whenever I put something out where I'm like is this fun and it's because you're posting it to see if people like that's right so you're looking for the responses. You're almost looking for them to not. You want the affirmation when you don't get it. You're like, oh, I'm not worthy.

Totally. Totally. Yeah. But I think the bigger thing is. The roundabout is finding yourself worthy. Exactly. And only posting things that you're like, no, this is. You wanted to represent you.

Are you ready to play our last game? You're doing amazing. Thank y'all. Called Seven Deadly Sins. Seven Deadly Sins. we're going to do it aggressively what are you greedy about what am i greedy about oh my god okay what am i greedy about i really want to have a i don't know if this is the right way to answer this but i i dream of a day where i can do you know air one is that a thing here it's a really

expensive grocery store i just dream of the day where i can nonstop eat the exact types of food i i want and not worry about paying for them does that make sense like portabella jerky it's like seven dollars it's like 20 calories it's like it's not worth it like you can't justify paying for it but i want to be able to be like a round of jerky for my friends it's so funny because i always all i spend money on is like food and ubers yes and i'm like i just want to be able to spend as much money i want to not think about this i want to be able yeah the minute i'm hungry i want to be able to no exactly what you want get it yes and that but it's also part of the control of being like you know what it's not going to make or break my day if i don't get exactly what i'm craving for in this

moment oh my god yeah because i was anorexic too in during tennis don't you think that is a thing where it's that's part of the recovery is like because you didn't have food for so long you get obsessed with like no i need to eat i got i was so excited that's right i was like i fucking earned this meal that i'm gonna enjoy i knew i was in like i actually so i was anorexic i had like female athlete triad syndrome yep or like you lose your period you're working out a lot i had it for like i'm gonna say six or seven months changed my environment i was at tennis academy you changed it all and I went to therapy and I'm telling you right now

I've really 100% recovered I mean I think I still have anxiety but it doesn't go through food anymore because I was really healthy with food up until that point and I have family who's had anorexia so it was in my blood but um same

yeah it's never like you didn't just fucking discover it randomly exactly exactly so I yeah I remember one night my dad was like we're getting Chinese food and I was like I want chicken broccoli make sure you add that in because you know it's like family style

comes, and he forgot the chicken and broccoli, I had a tantrum. Yes. I was 17 years old because all I fucking wanted was to enjoy my chicken and broccoli. And I remember my parents being like, whoa. What's your problem? And I realized like, oh my God, my relationship with food is so weird right now because I'm like, I've been looking forward to this all day. That's it.

That's it. That's exactly it. I remember once I was driving when I was like in a bad place and I was looking around and I was like, why aren't all these people eating right now? like isn't eating the best thing you could do i know i know or like whenever i yeah see like the joy of it because because it was something it's like when you're younger and so yeah when then it's like even a guy like not giving you attention yeah you put the attention out a pedestal that his attention is so amazing date him for six months and realize he's fucking oh my god it's so true it's so true it all comes full circle wow men and food are the same

they are they're like dessert um who are you envious of Ooh, who am I envious of? Or look up to? Who am I envious of or who do I look up to? I think, now my mind's on food. I'm like, I'm envious of anyone who's just who doesn't think about food. Who doesn't, who doesn't, who's like, I forgot to eat or I'm like, oh, I don't. But it's funny because a lot of them are thinking of other things that they're obsessing about.

Yeah, maybe you're right. So maybe we're all just. we all have our fucking thing that we're yeah like people get like ice cream in the middle of the day people who eat like pasta at lunch it's like I'm jealous of those people because I'm like oh you're living in a way that is so different than me you're you're the carefree carefree people I think I'm jealous of people who are just like we're going here let's do it

or like someone's like let's do drugs they're like I guess if I'm like I'm like is too motron too many so yeah I think anyone carefree people I'm very jealous of I've become I'm freaking carefree with food though I think because I naturally have a decent metabolism. I'm very muscular. Yes. And I, I, I am that person, I'll just order penial vodka mill day seamless and do it. But I have this trust that like, my body will balance out. Yeah. Tomorrow I'm probably going to end up eating lighter because I, or probably, like, if I eat pasta for lunch, I'll probably for dinner, be like, exact. So I just like, I got confident that my body will figure it out. And every now and then I'll look in the mirror and be like, oh, I'm a little buffety right

now. Yeah. And then I'm like, I'm going to eat light for a week. Yeah. And I know that my metabolism's slowing down as we speak so things change but i've just gotten this like not panic mode and i think that that needs to be the same thing maybe i need to that's a good new year's resolution for me too about like other things too because i was saying the drugs thing are like social thing it's like i sometimes i'm like i can't go out tonight because i have to wake up because then that'll throw off my whole week but it's like what if i just go out and then it's like maybe i'll be tired tomorrow but then guess what the next few days i won't go out because i will be so satiated from so being better trusting that our bodies will balance out everything i'm the same way in that i can't do drugs

because I'm too scared. Me too. I'm too scared. And I smoke weed and then I feel dumb and then I like freak out that I think I'm dumb. I have Googled how do I not be high so many times? Because like the minute I'm high, I'm focused on like, how do I get out of this? How do I eat? The last time I had to freak out, I got too high.

And I turned to my friend and I go, how do I get on high? That's it. And she goes, you can't get on high. And I started freaking the fuck out. Yeah, that's the worst thing you could toss. And then I just tried to make myself sleep, but I was crissive. dying and falling with me. That is the one.

People go, do you want to hit? And I'm like, no, it's okay. And they're like, really? And I go, for everyone's sake as this party. And it sucks because people think I'm the fun one because I'm loud. Right. And I'm like, I'm good now because I've orchestrated this perfect thing right now. Don't mess.

I can't even drink coffee. I get too fucking lit. Wait, is that true? Yeah, I get too lit. I get too lit, but I love it. I get the spins. Yeah, I get the spins too. And it's like my only, it's my greatest joy.

it's the most like that's what I live for is the spin that's me getting yeah that's me getting hammered is like getting this I said I'm like I'm literally dreaming about when this is done I'm gonna walk out we're in Soho and I'm like there's I know that I know the places I'm like a druggie I know the coffee spots that have the strong nitro you know like how you're gonna go about it you're not just taking a random ass coffee anything to be laced with it you're right you're right I'm not going to one of those the people in the carts on the side of the road no no no no no no I want a certified barista do you know how you know you're good with food when you're you can order street meat.

That's a level of recovery. I aspire to. I love street meat. You don't know what's in it. That is beautiful. It goes right through me. So there has to be some kind of like balance in it all. Yeah.

When I was smelled like street nuts when I came in and I have a strong memory of throwing up immediately after eating street nuts is like a 10 year old. So yeah, I don't, I don't fuck with street food. I love certain foods you just, you have a memory of. Your body knows. I have that with Fritos. I ate too many Fritos once in second grade. I can't look at it.

Wow. Puked. Piqued my brains out. Yep. What do you gluttonous about speaking? Oh my God. Oh my God. What's your go-to?

My go-to is French fries, weirdly. I think it's like potatoes, so I'm like, it's like a... What do you dip them in? Anything I can find. I love potato products, I would say, pop chips. I can eat a whole bag of pop chips. Do you like potato lotcas? Potato lot because I love...

Oh, little sour cream. Oh, little apple sauce, little sour cream. Hash browns. I love. Any potato product, I would. we'll eat, yeah. This is my foreplay, by the way. Oh, yeah.

Just name for potato products. Oh, yeah. I hadn't even thought of ash browns. How crispy. How crispy. Oh, they're crispy. Let's move on. Let's move on.

But also French fries, you feel so fucking disgusting after because it's like, it's not like, oh, I ate a burger. You're like, I ate 75 French fries just now. Right, nothing. It didn't do anything good for me. It only did, yeah. You never feel like you just had a little. You also, you don't just eat one French fries.

No, and it's never enough. And, yeah, I had them yesterday. I, I, I, I, I, love french fries i love having a glass of wine and french fries that's like my yeah that's my dream but also for me like sometimes with stand-up it'll go like you don't eat for a while and i get starving and then it's like i need a burger i need calories exactly once you start just telling yourself like my body needs calories to run you start enjoying agreeing things better and ultimately i said this on other podcasts where we've talked about eating you you're cured once you're just not thinking about

that's it when it's just not a thing or like obviously you think about what you're going to eat but then afterwards there's no recollection there's no summary there's no knowing what other people are eating it's just and new york's really good for that too because you're like i'm eating and then i'm walking like you need food to fucking function i will forget sometimes and be like oh fuck i need something and you look at the and you don't it doesn't matter if you're into savory salty you got it you get it i agree and that's i feel that new york really helps me that because i'll just be like oh no i'm starving i need food because i'm like my body has um LA has amazing healthy food it does i ordered an assy bowl somehow spent 70 dollars

at this place that'll happen it was so big wait i think was it on was it on was it on right near a blue bottle do you remember there being a blue bottle right on the corner yes i those those blue those assyables they're really big they fuck you up in the best way yeah in the best i love assyubles me too a little peanut butter and it's a smoothie but it's a smoothie but you can eat it i love it it's it's it's basic like you know muffins cake it's on like beverly i think it's on beverly wow cool so i think i want to go to LA first week in March or third week in March to promote summer house because it's airing in February great and I want to see like a shit ton of podcasts great well and maybe some shows great I don't know we'll see yeah I just I'm throwing that I'm manifesting with you

yeah manifest with me um when was the last time you experienced extreme wrath what's what now so anger oh extreme aggressive person I figured constantly um extreme wrath I didn't get the gift I wanted No, I'm kidding. Imagine a 28-9-year-old. Well, that one got me a dog. I didn't get a puppy. Yeah. Do you get angry?

Is it an emotion you got? I am an extremely, I think, angry person, but I don't know if it comes out in anger all the time. You know what I mean? Oh, so are you passive aggressive? I'm not passive aggressive, but I think it's probably where a lot of the foods. I think I can maybe be angry at myself. Yeah, I think I can, I can, but I get angry too. I definitely have a short fuse, but I'm trying to think, like, what have I yelled at recently?

Well, L.A., you're not allowed to do that. Yeah, like, L.A., it's better, too, because you have... Everyone's so nice. I do do this a lot in New York streets. Like, that woman who was, like, going like, this to me, I just, she did it twice. Like, I had to circle back because I went the wrong way, and I'll just start talking out of a lot. I'll be like, well, why would you do that?

I just said no. So, and I'll kind of end up talking to myself. That is the most New York shit thing. It's when you're walking down the street and, like, a car is coming, and you go, really? Are we, are we doing this? right now. Okay, cool. That was cool of you. No one thinks it's weird to talk to yourself. And you don't want to actually fight with them, but you're just like, okay, that's ridiculous. Why would you even do? I literally just

said, no, what are you selling? You're invading my personal space. I'm on the phone. Yeah, but no one's listening. It's like just, yeah. But it's good to like get it out. Or a lot of the time it'll, it's always when you're having a bad day that you like, someone spill something on you. And then you're just like, fuck. That's when I knew I had to leave New York because it would be like, yeah, just the smallest, it would start raining, I'd be like, really? For me? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, bad, bad, bad.

Next question. This is a fun game. This is fun. When was the last time we were a sloth? So lazy. Oh, my God. Because you're type A. I'm type A, but I can really get in like, and this is so lame, but I can get in a mode

where I just sit down and I just watch. I mean, I've watched, I've started. the office again probably like every one i think once a year i probably rewatched gilmore girls or the office it's not lame i i've did recently tweeted which is another like very common tweet that i basically was like because i'm on the dating apps again fun hello yes congratulations to me yes and i was like um it's not a personality trait like saying that you like love the office i agree it's just because i'm not saying because the office is just so widely accepted that it's as hilarious right that you telling me that doesn't give me anything and don't be proud of it

It's not something that you didn't win a fucking award that you think the office is funny. Right, exactly. It's good. That's like, okay, you pass the normal human test. Yes, you're a human. You like, you, yeah, can understand what a sense of humor is. So, yeah, that's, oh, the dating up. I think I really like, yeah, being slothy and just watching, like, like, my boyfriend

sometimes texts me. He's, like, been on, like, at the gym and he's like, it'll be like, like, like, where are you? And I'm like, I don't know. And he's like, send me a picture right now. And then I always send, like, a shameful picture of me in bed, just having a, left. He's gone for four hours. People FaceTime me and like I live in a studio and I have a little couch but like my bed is where I do everything. Yes. I had someone call me at 11 a.m. this morning for like a interview or something and he was like, did you just wake up? Like a man I didn't even

know was like you wake up and I was like I did just wake up but I was like oh I just haven't talked to anyone yet. I live I work in a studio and he was like by the end I was like awake but also my like people FaceTime me I'm just there with my cat and they're like are and they'll talk shit to me And I'm like, bro, I'm getting shit done. That's the thing. Like, I'm slothy because it's the other half. Like, I need to be slothy to get shit done. Also, being so type A is exhausting.

It's exhausting. So, like, that's the thing with Kevin Hart. Like, I'm so hyperproductive, like, for a couple hours in the day where it's insane. Me too. I get shit done fast. Me too. And when I'm on, I'm on. And when I'm creative, I'm creative.

But when I'm off, like, my fuel is hit rock bottom. And I need no social interaction. Me too. And I need. But then if you go too long. I know. I know. That's what happened to me.

I canceled plans. yesterday at five o'clock i went into bed and i was like i want to watch you yes everyone was saying i look like the girl in season two of you so i was like i need to check this bitch out and then like i watched it all and then this morning i just stayed in bed till 11 so that's a long period of time and that's when i started to get a little on my head like to even like like what i'm too oh girl that happened that's exactly it it happens after 20 all you need is about that's it that's it yeah i especially the suburbs will do that to me because it'll just try me on the second one i went outside i was fine again that's it That's, isn't that crazy?

But what's hard with LA is you go outside and you don't just see people. No. I think that's my biggest struggle for sure in LA. That's why I asked if you had a pet or something because I was like, I feel like LA can get lonely. Not that New York isn't very lonely, but the second you walk outside, you're not lonely. That person's like having way more issues in me right now. A hundred percent.

Yeah, LA you have to, but, but my best friend, Mae Wilkerson's so funny, she lives like two doors. She's like your comedy partner, right? She's my comedy partner and also just like my sister. We live, amazing. We have a relationship where we can really like do nothing together, which is, I think that's really key I think so a lot of times we'll just she has a dog so we'll just like watch TV together that's what I realized with guys like I was searching for all these things and now I'm like I'm

searching for a guy that I enjoy their presence when there's nothing happening oh my god they enjoy me when I'm not like on because that's basically yeah that's all dating is and that's why I like dating a comedian because I'm like Luke and I we're not like on with each other because we're like yeah we're on when we're doing comedy then we're we're just like yeah slothing around but also you probably see a different side of each other that's funny that isn't performative. Yeah. Like just how they like you carry yourself or how you see the world.

Yeah, yeah. And not in like a look at this bit. Yeah, I don't know if he would describe it as funny. Yeah, funny. It's funny that I didn't get any fucking sleep last night. Because you, because of who knows what's going on. I've been obsessed with air quality. I keep waking up in the middle of the night being like, it's too dry.

I have had so much trouble. I keep being like, Luke, I'm dying. I can't breathe. Greeks of Italians and Jews are so similar. I just hypercritical and observant Yes, yes I like literally every night I'm like something's wrong with me

I can't take deep breaths He's like you're just go have a drink of water Go have a drink of water It's so annoying It's like you haven't had water in 20 hours Just drink water And it always cures me And then I'm like God damn it

Let's stop blaming the air Yeah And let's thank the oxygen For what they provide us Exactly That is so funny I feel like I might have been mad I'm like you're taking up you with an oxygen

We got to open the door with your big ass body how much oxygen do you need to function jesus christ save me some oxygen um this is the toughest one when was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something like your ego oh my god when's the last time i let my pride get in the way of something probably often um my pride um especially dealing with the industry i feel like you are there any projects that you don't do or any people that no but i do feel like i've probably gotten to the point where like if in an audition i get a note that i'm like like like like i like sometimes at commercial auditions i'll get told like you're doing too much you're doing too much and then like instead of

just taking the note and be like okay just do a little less if i'm having a bad day sometimes i'll just be like okay you know and then i'm like and then i just like get mad almost in the same well sometimes you're just like this isn't a good fit and i'm sick of trying to be a square in a round that's probably what it is and it's also like you're going to hire your cousin anyway so why are we here yeah or like i'm not i'm so far from what this is that yeah so how are people like in the audition rooms like is everyone really nice to each other yeah i mean i think yeah everyone's and you see your friends all the time like it's all kind of the same people so we all get to know it because you look you get called in for look so you start being like oh it's all

we all look i did like fitness modeling for a little and it was literally just ever girl near city who looked identical to me we have the same at some point i was doing fit modeling which is like your body the ratio of your body for like people um fashion brands to put clothes on so they need like a perfect size six with a 20 i remember it it's 35 27 39 so you were literally with girls who had literally we literally would walk in and be the exact body type oh my yeah and like brown hair brown eyes because they're looking for an aesthetic it was tripping it's i look at a girl just being like is that what my body looks totally no it's like yeah it's very trippy that industry is crazy because you can't you can't lose weight yeah that's but you can't

gain weight. You just have to stay sturdy. I don't know how. Stay sturdy. It was weird because normally you're like always striving to be healthier, but I walked out when I started working for this agency and they were like, just stay where you are. And I was like, what do I eat? Yeah. Stay where you are is a hard thing. Yeah. You never think about that. No, you always think about like losing or gaining. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, anyway, um, final one. When was the last time you lusted over someone? Oh, oh. I mean, when Shia Labov came out with that new movie. I was like, oh my God. Which one? Well, honey boy. I just was like, I have to see it. I haven't even seen it. But when Shia LaBuff, like, I grew up watching Even Stevens. I feel like he will

always have my heart. He's like, I know he's, yeah, I'm just like, who knows what's going on with him? But he was like, the everyone's funny as like brother. Totally. So whenever he does something like gritty and new, I'm like, oh my God. Yeah. Yeah, I was, I started this like, I'm convinced that him, there's something with him in Post Malone. Like, I think they look the same. Yeah. I can see that. Like, there's something about them. And I, like, try to start, like, a real controversy. But it didn't really pick up.

But I'm just throwing that into the ether. Alyssa, you've been so fun. To wrap this up, I always ask a final question. Okay. Which is, what advice would you give to listeners on how to cope with your health? Oh. Well, I just think, you're like, this is fun. I like what we've talked about, and I'm going to try to take this with me.

It's like alignment feels very right. It's like, are you, I think, just instead of all the extra. things just trying to focus on like am I a line like in every in my job in my romantic life in my friend life in my home life like am I aligned am I doing what I want am I happy am I at peace and if any of those feel like they're not like try to focus on that versus like your fucking weight or your hair or whatever it is because it's like it's probably that and the way you're dealing with it is something else I think that's a perfect way to wrap it up because everything we kind of talked about was like yeah there's all this stuff that we take out on other things

yeah but ultimately it's like figuring out what's going on with you and then and then empathizing with yourself. Exactly. It's okay that your dad died. It's okay that you don't want to do stand up anymore. Totally. It's okay that you're doing long distance. You figure it out.

Totally. So I'm so excited for your career and where you're going. Thanks, Hannah. Well, they can follow me at Alyssa Limp on Instagram and Twitter. Follow her, share her videos. If you thought anything was funny on this podcast, screenshot, tag us. And like, rate subscribe review. I need some affirmation.

Okay. Okay. As we talk about like not needing it. We don't need anything. thing as long as you're at peace that's okay i'm at peace with myself but if you don't leave a five-star rating there's going to be an issue we'll find you we're aggressive thank you for listening to hell and i'll talk to you guys later bye