Berner Phone - Amanda Hirsch: Kardashian Bestie & Blowing Up

Episode Date: November 11, 2022

Amanda aka Kamanda aka Not Skinny But Not Fat is back in hell! She talks about what it was really like to meet the Kardashians, how she got them on her podcast, and how her life and mental health has changed since motherhood! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to burning in heaven. Oh my God. I have a long time friend of the podcast on. She was really hard to get to. I had to go through some of her people. But I did get her in. And this morning she did call me an unprofessional little shit. and it made my day frankly everyone welcome amanda fucking hirsch you know why it made your day

because you're a content horror now so you were like she might have called me on professional little shit and it pissed me off but you know what it's going to be good for the content it literally made me love so hard because i also love people who are no bullshit and put me in my place because i will push as far as i can let's hold the story Hannah at 1210 our podcast is at one texted me, do you want to reschedule, L.O.L.L. Like, basically, like, wouldn't be mad at that. And I'm, like, literally, like, plan my whole day around it. You know, I was, like, in a mood, put on some Beyonce, got nice coffee, was, like, excited.

And then I just saw your message. And you were like, if you're on the way, I'm like, I'm on the fucking way. Get your ass there. That's also my insecurities where I assume that I'm something you have to do. Like, you're not excited. What's it called? like a burden a burden yeah and that i'm to working with my therapist but i i also have friends around me who are unprofessional little shits like last night cair canceled on me page

canceled on me earlier and that's like our love language like i almost thought you were going to be like thank god i didn't want to leave no and so there was a chance right so let me disclaim and not make it seem like i'm not like an unprofessional little shit because i the last time you were like could you do five and i'm like could you do the time unless traffic wait okay Yeah, there's some context to this. So on Friday, I go, can we do 430? And she goes, that's rush hour. I go, bitch, we live in New York City.

Where is there not traffic? Okay, you walk 20 minutes. True. Mind you, wait. Can we also put it this way? Sorry, producer Dave. You're like, my studio is in Soho. And I'm like, do you mean Chinatown?

So for me, yeah, it's a little bit of a drive. And 430 would fuck me. Take your heli. Okay. I'll take my helie next time. No. Like the environment. I feel like the last time you were here was years ago. And for people who don't know, Amanda and I hit it off just from being like funny snarky bitches on the internet who like to post funny memes and like pop culture. We were both meme bitches. We were meme. OG meme bitches. And I came over to your place. I immediately was obsessed with your energy. And I found out we both went to the same high school in New York City, which is I feel like we're- happen. Blood sisters. No one knows Beacon. Everyone goes to LaGuardia. Yeah. Like other private schools. Yeah. Like Timothy Chevrolet went to LaGuardia. Shamalay? Yeah. Sorry, not all of us are pop. Experts. Everyone, who else did I just found out? Oh, you watch Tell Me Lys? No, not yet. Okay, you have to. So the cool hot check went to

LaGuardia. And I'm like, why didn't my mom like whatever think? You had to be talented to go I know, but aren't, I'm talented. You are. Okay, not maybe in like the professional art. Not in like a Juilliard type way. So you're saying no. Well, like, for example, I studied communications in college and everyone was like, you stupid bitch.

And I'm like, am I stupid or watch your mouth? Because I'm pretty sure that's what we're doing. Watch your mouth. I studied communications too. And it feels kind of dumb still. to have paid $45,000 for mass media 101, what are newspapers, what is radio. But look at us now. Look at us now.

We learned about newspapers and radio. How fucking crazy is that. So it's not unrelated. People have studied like genealogy and are now like in sales. So ours is more. And like advertising, I do ads. Oh, a thousand percent. Sales.

But I do have to say a lot of people. People follow Amanda because they, or Amanda, because they see that she's like in with the Kardashians and you're a mom. But I love. That's not why people follow me. Okay. Well, I'm just saying, I'm just saying like. People follow me because I'm a pop culture queen. That too.

Okay. But I'm saying I knew you before. Oh, okay. Oh, you're like, I'm an OJ. And I love having you on because like people can listen to the old episode. We see the growth. And I do have to say like. Oh, my God.

listen to our, like, I want to see the growth. We should do a re-listen podcast about our old podcasts. Oh my, I was just saying like the whole time. But I have to say, there's some people in this life. I try to root for most people, but there's some people who are bad people and you're like, damn, I guess good things happen to shitty people. But you're not one of those people. Really, you're genuinely happy for me when good things happen. I really root for the underdog. I'm not saying you're like rat on the street. But like, you, put in the fucking work. I remember when you had like three jobs. Right. Wait, I feel like I'm sucking your dick right now and I don't want to. I like it. You had three jobs. Wait, we always do

this on the box. I'm like, you're gorgeous. Right, right. You glow up. You glow up. Defending each other for anything. Um, she murdered someone. I'm like, she, he deserved it. Um, no, but you had so many jobs. And then like, I remember you telling me that you were pregnant. And I just feel like you never had a goal like to be crazy famous or crazy rich you just wanted to like do what i work hard and survive and do what you love and you always stay true to yourself yeah so i bet people are always like how did you get this person on your podcast or how'd you do this and it's like you're not you were you were since 2016 but yeah you're not a one-hit wonder and you're not like out of nowhere blew up somebody actually jammed me something really sweet the other day and said like that she was

here all along and she's like exactly that she was like you're the opposite of kind of somebody who just blew up one day because I've been watching you do the work start from nowhere like all that shit um because I feel like you would do what you're doing if 10 people were watching

or 10 million oh my god that's literally Hannah literally you said it I would do it faux if I didn't start making money from doing this which hashtag bless hashtag show off that I I would do it while working two jobs because I love it.

And that's the whole reason. If I didn't, I'm like, I just love to do what I do. So that's what keeps me going. Wow. And you've stayed so down to earth, despite you are best friends with some of the most famous people in the world. Best friends. I don't suffer from imposter syndrome. But I'm realizing now that I'm talking to you that I do suffer from like, I'm afraid to annoy people.

and I'm not afraid of rejection, but I'm afraid of someone being like, she's using me or like, she wants this for me. So, like, for example, I've DMs with Haley Bieber. I'm currently working on. I know. It got to me and, like, love you, but I don't listen to her podcast, but like, people have told me. And I'm like, oh, my God, we didn't talk about it.

How didn't you ever tell me? I mean, because it's just our lives, you know? Like, me and you ask what she hates me? I think she hates me. I'll tell her next time we're on the phone chatting. but like immediately people get her on the pot and I'm like I don't I play like the long game as then I'm never going to ask them yeah and like even Bethany like I started doing funny videos yeah but Bethany you could ask I get what you're doing with Taylor I almost like I want them to want to you remix you Bethany I know I know but you can't I feel insecure about asking and even like I know you have like you have interviewed some of the most famous people and my thing is like where do you find the confidence that like like you want to interview them that I can can or like I don't know I don't know I think that my podcast is my let's say more insecure point than what I do on Instagram like I get nervous

before my podcast I prepare for them unlike you um I you know I really make sure and and again when I think about the podcast I'm kind of like you know you could talk into them microphone all you want. Interviewing people is a skill. You need to learn. This isn't like a five-minute TV thing. Exactly. It's not like come promote your book five minutes. It's like an in-depth interview sometimes with people that I don't have much knowledge about, which has changed for me. I used to only interview people that I'm that I want. So I'd be like, Hannah, come on or like, you know. Yeah, that's what I do. Right. And then it changed for me where podcast became literally part of people's like press tours. So I started getting like pitches for people coming out with new product lines or

books or whatever. And I, I still say no. Like if I'm not interested in the person, it doesn't matter if they have 5 million, 10 million, 12 million followers. But if all of a sudden I look up the person, I'm like, I don't know them, but wow, they do have an interesting story. Then I'll like read the book. So it became a lot more work. But it really pays off because some of those interviews, there's like, okay, the Kardashians, I can interview with my eyes closed. I still prepare like, fuck and help for it. But it's like I could sit there all day with them. I could ask them about anything, right? with people that I don't necessarily know it's a much more interesting process

but first of all I think that you know if anybody would want to criticize like an interviewing style it's like no this isn't I'm not Diane Sawyer I'm not trying to be Diane Sawyer this is my podcast doing you know what I mean

I'm not I'm not I'm not it's like it's not I'm not saying like I'm a fly on the wall I'm part of this you know well people's favorite thing to is like she talks about herself this is like to any woman's podcast and I go you realize if you're just like asking someone tons of personal questions about themselves without you giving a little bit of yourself to them to like make people feel comfortable you're not going to get a good interview

but I think that first of all it compliments me the most when people compliment my podcast because they're real ones like they put in time to consume your content and know who you are right and and again that's a skill that I you're not like born with you know what I mean I feel like like interviewing someone is like if someone compliments me on that and says that was a good interview or you managed to get me to like this person I didn't before or I've learned so much about this person I didn't know anything about them that's where I'm like that's where I feel the real like kind of fulfillment and it didn't used to be that way used to be like oh my podcast whatever I don't care um and now it's nominated for people's choice for oh my god

congratulations well can you walk me through how you got the Kardashians on your pod if you were to write an e-book if I would have write an e-book that's funny you know Jason Tartick yes so he I like people that have podcasts that are like you know I was on his oh you were yeah I love how much you made

I actually don't think so but I told him how much I made on reality TV okay I told him about my like he was like how much did you make first of all I'm not so good with like knowing money but I was like when Caitlin Bristow goes on your podcast his fiance and tells you how much she made this year, then I'll tell you how much I made this. But anyway, I really like doing his podcast because he wasn't like fan-girling, right? Like, he's not going to be like, oh, my God, you got the Kardashians. He was thinking about it for more of like a business way.

He was like, do you know how big that is? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I know the Kardashians are crazy. And he was like, no, no, no, like business-wise. He was like, I could hire, you know, 200 people pay them however much a year, be like, your goal at the end of the year is to get the credit and he was like they probably couldn't like how did you do it and the way he put it was I was like could you marry me because you just fucking ego boosted the fuck you know I was like hello Jason I love him he's amazing I know and he the way he put it was so different than well he was looking at it from a number's perspective

from numbers and from like capabilities that are we're weird like energy yeah we're like what like like vibes are right the vibes are good and I He's like, this is going to bring you. Well, if you actually sat down and looked at, like, the numbers for ad sales, the people that it attract that you've kept for future episodes, just the note. I mean, it's beautiful. Don't look at that shit. Yeah.

And also, don't think of, like, what other, you know, shows, you know, Courtney never did a sit-down interview like this in her life. Like, that's, this is her, like, big. Also, other people could have had her, but it wasn't the vibe like yours was. Yeah. She really felt comfortable. I don't know. If I had to write an e-book about how this happened, I would say it would go back to why they like me. And a lot of people would be like, oh, you suck their dick. Not true. I said a lot of snarking things about them in the past. And they've always laughed at them, which is why I like them. I think that they probably saw in me something that was a mix of like, okay, she likes us, but she like isn't sucking her. her dick she's funny she could be a friend she's not like total fan girl i think they saw this mix

in me that worked and i think once like kim does something i don't know explain it the other sisters like kind of follow suit that's how it felt because it was like kim did my podcast and then i remember getting back to and i again i didn't reach out they reached out to me and i was like holy shit they reach out to me and i was like is this a joke like i remember getting the email and being like like ashton kutcher's about to prank you no i was like why would a troll make up this email i was like this is such a intricate way to hurt me no really hannah they're like and send six thousand dollars of bitcoin to a prince and then and then i did like the research saw that the person that sent the email was legit and then when it all happened

And I couldn't believe it was happening until I was, like, there. So when you weren't actually recording the podcast with Kim, what did you guys talk about? Like, before? Yeah, like, when you're just sitting there, like, afterwards. I think that with Kim, it's like, she's very professional. And she lets her guard down, but, like, not as much as, let's say, Courtney, I would say. That was the vibe. Who was different than you thought they would be in person?

None of them. I feel like we know them, kind of. Like, Courtney, I always knew I look back and I'm like, she was my OG for people that followed me for a while. Like, I was always like, Courtney's my girl. She, like, dresses the most down to earth. Like, I always felt like she was the most normal as you could be. And she would be the most, the one that I could see myself being friends with.

And it was wild that when I met her, I was like, oh, and it's true. Like, she, she was the warmest, the kindest, made me feel like a friend right away, asked me back about myself, which, by the way, is always like a really nice feeling. Because you could, a famous person can be the nicest, but you'll feel the difference in like your levels when like only you are asking them questions. When the cameras are off, I mean. You know what I'm saying? Yes.

Like, are they saying, how are you or how is your flight? Well, you ever have an experience with a celebrity and you're like, oh, I'm so out of their league or they're so much more important than me, but then you'll meet with someone who's way more famous and you won't feel that way. And you realize, oh, it never was me. It's like what they're projecting. Right. Like some people really act in the fame where some people, you're like, wait, this person's won, you know, an Oscar. And I feel like they're, you know, my friend for years. Right. So I think that's, that's the feeling that Courtney gives. It's like she was very like, you know, how is your flight? How's Noah? How's school been going? What are you wearing tomorrow to the event? Oh my God. And I asked her this in my podcast, like, what's the biggest misconception about you? And I remember her answer was like, I don't give a fuck. And I believe that she didn't give a fuck. Like she generally doesn't give a fuck. But I said, let me say it for you. I think that people think that you're like the bitchiest or like you have resting bitch face. And you're actually like so warm and like they don't let a lot of people in. And that's the thing. So I think I almost like passed the secret test that I didn't know I was passing. Well, that's the thing. Like, I've had interactions with big people.

And I immediately am just like, I don't want them to think I'm a creep. Right. I'm also that person. Like, if there's a famous person in the room, I will never approach them. Me too, though. But that's like New Yorker of us where I would never make them feel weird. True. But I guess like they saw something in you and they wanted to be your friend.

And then it happened like naturally. Yeah. It's kind of like me and Luan. I think that it's like, it's so cliche, but it's so true. It's like when you meet a person, they're obviously like a person. And they have people in their lives that aren't on their level. You know what I mean? Like money-wise or it's not like everyone they hang out with, you know.

And also, what is level? Like, what about your heart? What about your, like, empathy? What about your, like, love for existing? Courtney's boo-hoo show. She did a boo-hoo club. I was invited and I was shocked that like Travis was there, Simon was there with his husband, one other friend that I know from the show for years and me. And I was like, this is a huge deal for her and that's like, that was all she had there.

You know, it's not like that's when they say it's lonely at the top, sometimes you really see it like, oh, it must be lonely at the top. like you don't have a lot of people you can trust you lose people along the way and you're left with like a core group but it was wild to see that it's like not that big and I almost felt like I'm being inaugurated into this like thing that I didn't know I was like wait how did I what am I doing here let's be honest you are a meme page that loves pop culture right and there's a lot of them right and yours uniquely was able to like capture with your sense of humor yeah like I believe leave in life you can't force anything like that's one of my could you write an ebook the point is you can't like I feel like you can't force a relationship you can't force friendships you can't force

careers right it's like if people are like how do I grow and it's kind of like yeah you could read and be like oh post three to five times a day you know tag this amount of people but I'm sure there is a part of it that's also like you know you either kind of have something going or you don't yeah but I think for me it's not even sit here and say oh it's like I know that I am doing this because I love it and I think that's what comes across not even like do I get the news first am I on the front lines it's more like I think people can tell my passion I am literally at home like all day my husband thinks someone died and I'm literally like so and so and so and so like okay are you okay and I still don't get how he doesn't get it that nothing dramatic has happened and it's

literally just like shocking celebrity news at the moment. Um, but I really live for this shit. Yeah. And I could talk about it all day. And it was, it was really fun to find out that I'm not alone. Like so many people care about it. Like my followers sometimes get, get the scoop way before I do. They're like, well, have you noticed? I'm like, no freak. How did you notice? But I'll post it. Thank you. But I also feel like, like, you like, you attract people who are similar to you. Like, my followers make make me laugh so hard sometimes. Like, their comments. I'm like, you guys are so funnier than me. right um so yeah like attracts like yeah i also think that you've kind of had this unique like experience with motherhood too which has been beautiful and like i as a as a woman who just

got married and i was thinking of having a baby immediately you have all these fears of like is my life going to be ruined am i going to have to quit all my dreams and goals and stuff and you did you want a kid and did you worry at all about how it would affect your career? I knew that I wanted a baby at some point. I didn't want it like my husband would be like when are we going to do this? And I remember being like when I turned 30 because we got married when I was 27. And then it was like, okay, she's 30. And then I'd be like and his friends all live in Israel. So there the culture moves a little quicker as it does, let's say in the South, like people have babies earlier. So he would see like friends with two babies. And I kept him being like, I'm not going to be pressured by

your friend or someone else's timing. So then 30 became like 31. And then and then it was constantly in my mind like when. And then it was like, okay, there are these boxes that I want to be able to tick off. I want to be able to tick off, you know, financially. I'm not, need to be rich? No, but you want to feel like you don't have to think about, you know, how a baby is going to like be really heavy expense-wise. So it's like, okay, tick off financially will be fine, you know, tick off my mental health is okay. That was important to me. Because like I was on Zoloft, well, I'm still now, but when I was down to have a baby, I was like, oh, let me get off the Zoloft because I don't want to get pregnant with.

it. Do you have to get off it? So listen, so I, so no, but I felt good because I was on it. I was like, let me get, you know, you're like, I didn't get off it, whatever. And I was like, my baby, no. So I get off of it and I, I mean, I don't want to call it like relapse, but like, re, get back into anxiety. Who knows if it's the placebo effect? Who knows if it's your mind knowing that you got off of it and that's why? How many milligrams were you on? 50. Yeah, 15. So I got off of it. Like 2000. And then I remember telling myself before I got off like this time, not that this was my first time.

What I mean is I've been anxious before and like unwilling to start medication. So when I stopped it like to have a baby, I was like, promise yourself that if you go back into like panic attacks or anything, you're going to go back on it. You're not going to give yourself a hard time. You're not going to beat yourself up. You tried. That's exactly what I did when it was like, okay, anxiety is back. I went to a psychiatrist, I went to a gyno, and I went to, like, a doctor. I got sign-offs by three of them to say, like, you know, you can keep taking it kind of thing.

My gyna was even like, it's like, what a? Like, I was like, I love you. He was like, why did you even get off it? I was like, I don't know. But I needed to do it for myself. I need to know that, like, I tried and, like, could there be a tiny risk? I mean, if people are listening, I want to do it, like, check with your doctor. but it's more like healthy mother over anything else kind of vibe.

For sure. So once I was like feeling good again, it's like, mental health is okay, finances are okay. Then the career part comes in, right? And it's like I at that point, Fourno was born, didn't have one brand partnership. I was doing my podcast,

but it was like the beginning of it and not like obviously what it is. today. So it's kind of like, wait, if I have a baby, and I didn't even start kind of making this my career and actually, like, making money from it and really progressing in this world, is it going to stop everything? But once, like, your other boxes are ticked, it's kind of like, I gambled on that one. That was the only one that I felt like I was gambling on, you know? And then literally today, you know how people love to ask, like, how did you know when you made it? So, like, that's not, I don't have that for.

feeling about like any time yet. But I do know when I started making an income from it. And it's literally August 2020 when Noah was born. It like literally coincided. It's like literally my first brand deal or ad or whatever that was like, you know, two shekels. Came through like when I had just given birth, I was like puffy and gross. I remember thinking you like needed a ring light and you like needed to, like, be a full-blown influencer. You needed to have, like, two abs on top of your baby bones. And then I realized, like, with time, I was like, okay, I could be me. Then I was, like, thought you needed to, like, look the part kind of thing.

But anyway, my point is, then one of my biggest things is, like, reminding people that does your life 100% change when you have a baby? Yes, like, you know, weekends will never be the same. You can't sleep in, you know, but always. So you kind of look back like, what I do with all that free time? A lot of time you're just in your own head, like, thinking of things you regret in the past. Sometimes it can make anxiety better. Like I know that because Noah keeps me so busy, a lot of times my anxiety would be because I had time to spiral.

Yeah. And also, you're considering someone else's life. Exactly. Like on a plane, I don't have time to get nervous because I want to make sure Noah's okay or he's sleeping or he's eating. So, like, a lot of times I'm kind of, even when I do have. anxious moments I hold on to him like he comforts me just by kind of being there um but yeah but I think my whole thing with like because I came out with merch like you could be a mom still be a dumb bitch which like baby you can oh I want to be a dizzy bitch mom you could be it all yeah and I think it's

important because like we used to think of moms that like looked like our moms and dressed like our moms yeah and we're like smart oh you'd be like I'm not ready to be a mom that's an adult right and it's like no and what I always think about it's like sometimes like high schoolers have babies like yeah it's a lot of like you figure it out there's no real right time I just got scared because I start asking the question to people like what's it really like to be a mom like you never think about it and people will say like it changes your life forever and it's so fucking hard but it's the greatest thing ever and I'm like you guys are giving me really like conflicting things and I'm one of them is pretty scary and the other one sounds great but it's true it's both

what you're saying is what I hoped you would say which is it actually like helped your mental health and how but how is your relationship to yourself right now because some people say they gain confidence as moms some people deal with more depression after having a child how's your relationship with your own mind right now good knock on wood I mean listen I still will have anxiety from time to time but that's because you're funny and smart the best people have it um which is funny like my mom is a person that can't accept on perfection. So if I'll be like, oh, I had anxiety today

or she'd be like, why? Yeah. I'm like, because I did. But why? Or like, I had a migraine. It's like, because people sometimes have, like, yeah, it doesn't have to be okay. Yeah, I accept it.

It doesn't have to not be okay. It's okay to not be okay. Sometimes the worst is your own judgment of yourself. Right. Sometimes you just have to accept it. Why are we deep, what? Excuse.

Okay, Renee Brown. Exquise. My, my, my mental health is good. Knock on wood. It's funny. The other day, we were at a restaurant as with my family, and it was my sister's birthday. Went to Kima, by the way, you guys. If you're looking for, like, a party, like dinner, this is it.

Like, dance on tables shit. And I wasn't in a dancing on tables mood. I was in the, like, drink my drink, smoke my vape, like, bob my shoulders. Yeah. Like cute, mm-mm-mm. My sister was, like, dancing on tables, throwing napkins. And she kept on coming to me like, Amanda, like this should have been like a summer house episode. Why aren't you dancing?

And I kept being like, and her telling me that just like made me not want to do it. Like if someone's like, dance on the table. Like you're like, no. So she kept on coming to me and being like, like, you should. And I'm like, leave me alone. Kept on making me not want to do it. And when we had a conversation about it after and I was like, you're literally crazy. She was like, I just wanted you to have fun.

I was like, I had. But here's the thing, I had fun. just not in the way that you did. And she was like, and I was like, are you worried about me? Do you think something's wrong with me that I'm not doing that? She's like, no, I know that you're great. And I'm like, okay, so let me not dance on the table and be what I want to be. My point is like, I'm doing great.

And I think I keep telling people about being in your 30s is like the best. I don't think there's like an age, maybe even, I think getting older is better. I feel like I know my, like, if I don't want to dance the table and I'm dancing on table, if you asked me five years ago, if someone was like, you know, I'm not dancing on table. I probably want to dance and down. You know what I mean? For sure.

And now it's like, if I want to drink, then I drink. If I don't want to drink, then I don't drink. If I want to meet a person, I meet them. If I don't want to, I don't. Like, I just feel so much more. I love that confidence that you have. With your gut. With my gut.

And I also feel like more people want to be around you when they feel that you know what you want. Yeah. It's like a calm feeling that you exude. I even today, like, I'm always working on how to exist. Like, what are you supposed to think about? during the day and how what's the optimal way to be happy like I really get like big picture with stuff and even now like at 31 I'm starting to figure out like okay that's how you get yourself motivator like that's how you like before I would fight everything like I'm not going for a walk even

though I'm depressed like I would just fight everything and now I'm starting to understand myself so I 100% agree with you with the like 30s my 20s was a shit show I also like didn't like the party scene yeah I didn't like big groups of people and now you like you find your circle as you find your people. How is Hussb dealing with fatherhood? So at the beginning, and I do want to tell this to people, it's not everybody, but I have heard from friends and other people that because women are the ones that are pregnant, fuck those shits.

We have like the whole nine months to deal, to process, to come to like expected, right? They're not experiencing it. So they are much more in shock when the baby comes. because you've been habitating this fucking thing. You've been reading if you want to or don't want to. You've been living this. And they haven't, as much as it can be supportive or whatever. So, like, Husb was kind of shocked at the beginning.

And I remember always thinking he's going to be an amazing dad. Because when you marry someone, that's one of your things, you're like, oh, he's going to be an amazing dad. My confidence that he would be an amazing dad was always there. And then when he wasn't being that amazing and he was, like, shocked at the And I'd be like, give him a bottle. He'd be like, I don't you. I was like, I do not have time for you to like suck at life. You know?

Like, my vagina is bleeding. I was like, I'm going through this and like you're tired and you kind of hate him. You kind of, I mean, not everybody, by the way, not everybody. No, I've heard this. But it's hard. Because they're not bonded in the same way in the beginning and they're trying to find their way. Right.

And you innately like know certain things. Somehow, because you're breastfeeding at least at the beginning. You're, you baby. be sad probably you know what i mean you have been around it's like different and then so it took him a little bit of time but like now him and noa have the most special bond and he's such an amazing dad and i compliment him all the time and um and it's so cute like to see them together and when they have their moments and i'm like you know i it makes me really happy that i also will never forget that he was like

suck at the beginning. But now he tells me he's like if we have another baby I probably won't be in shock at the beginning like I'll get it. But it's good to know because you could start like really getting frustrated and take it personally instead of realizing like this is a normal Another thing is like men are so needy as women know

that like when their woman who used to take care of them rub their foot like whatever doesn't give a fuck about them you know at least for the first however long when you're just with this thing, it affects their egos and everything even more, you know, and you don't want to have sex with them and all these things. And they're like, okay, I don't know what I'm doing

with this baby. My wife hates me, like all the shit. So, I mean, let's feel bad for them for a minute. Yeah, it's really hard. But it's hard. Maybe it's hard. Let me tell you, I, like, husband and I were always knock on wood, like, the perfect couple, never fought, never, whatever. Our first fight is, like, after having a baby. Like, it changes. Because some people think you have a baby. That's crazy. And it makes you closer. That is crazy.

Literally having a baby is the hardest thing, I think, kind of relationship. I think that's a big misconception because some people will be like teetering. Yeah. Like if we have a kid, we have this thing that we both created, we'll bond over it. Nothing I'm more concerned about that that's wrong. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

I think it's more like have a baby. If you and your husband, you're and your wife, whatever can survive that, like round of a pause. Wow. Well, I also think just how he treats you, he could treat the kid differently where, like, maybe you don't love the way he parents them based on how his parents maybe prevented him. So there's all these new variables in the relationship. And if you guys aren't communicating well, like, it's just another excuse. If you have different approaches, like I see this on, in other parents, husband, I think God, are like, we have the same kind of state of mind. But I'll see other parents like, it also confuses the kid.

The mom's saying this. The kid's kind of like, wait, what? am I doing? Who's a good cop? Who's a bad cop? Like, you're confusing him. And kids want structure. Yeah. It's wild how much they need that. Have you been consuming content on like how to be a good mother and stuff? Because I feel like there's such a big market. One thing. My mom sends me like, you know, my mom will tend to get or my followers will be like, do you follow like kids eat in color? And by the way, that's a good account. For me, it triggers me because it's like. Right and wrong. Right and wrong. Right. And it's like, even though there are a lot of mommy blogs that will make you feel good about yourself, I haven't found one. I'm always like, wait, those are perfectly cut up vegetables and a perfectly cut up plate. That doesn't do well for me. Like muffins, you know, from zucchini, that's not going to happen. I'm not going to be making those. I get a weird vibe from like people who monetize their families nonstop. I almost feel like the kids aren't like.

necessarily consenting to that and I like envision are you going to emoji your baby no because my baby's going to be hilarious but I'm not going to like I just like see a TikTok and I'm like wow my baby is going to do something stupid like that oh like but I'm saying like you know those people who you're like I try to think of the behind the scenes like how many hours it take for you to get your kid to hold this thing and say that for the camera wow like for this brand deal and I just and like I see the behind the scenes like I see with like reality TV and I'm like oh I don't think that was that's fun yeah because I know how hard it is just for me to do it right and I'm like so you're making your toddlers do this and you had four ads this last month with them this campaign I can even get my own husband to do it I do also want to talk about the glow up for a second because what's the globe the glow up oh I mean me and you were like always gorgeous I always thought like you have such gorgeous like natural facial structure whatever What are you currently doing as now like you're making more money and you're on camera more? What are you doing to like as self care or to make yourself feel glowing?

I think that I used to on purpose look bad and I don't do that anymore. Same. Really? Well, I kind of was like I don't even want to compete in this space. I was kind of like I don't need to try to look good. Like that's not. Yeah, like this is my personality. You guys can try to look good.

I'm giving him. Yeah. And I stopped that. It was kind of like I'd put on something and be like, oh, this is okay. That's fine. That's good enough for what I'm doing or, you know. And I think that like, I'm sure if I really kind of researched the reasons, yeah, it could be that like you have nicer things when you make more money and blah, blah, blah, and you get all this skincare. And I think it really is all age. Like I can't explain to you how much I feel like getting older just makes you better because I used to like that state of mind it wasn't wrong but today it's like I know now what clothes sit nicer on me than every day I'm learning like I'm not saying my outfit two weeks ago was horrible I hated it but I'm like don't wear that again you know we're learning and growing and realizing things or like my state of mind change of wait why not try to look your best why have this attitude of like okay well it's scared to try and then look like shit right but we didn't know And I think then we start to learn, like, I've hired a stylist before.

I also have my friends who look great and you go, where do you get your hair done? Or like, oh, your brows look good. Or, oh, what lipstick do you use? And it's okay. It doesn't mean you're going to become like, you know, a fucking. Real husband. Right. Right.

It means like, why not fucking feel your best, look your best? And that was exactly my mentality of like, no, like, I don't need to. Like, that's not the vibe. like thinking about even my podcast cover which I started thinking about changing I remember showing up to that photo shoot in a hoodie which is like what's on my the hoodie was sent to me by a follower

who like tie dyed it my hair was in a clip the clip was in the front barely did any makeup and like that's fine and I love because you're like this is me I love her and that is me but I think that it's okay to also give a little bit more of a shit

you know so I think I just give a little bit more of a shit and then you're like damn when I give a little bit more of a shit bit more of a shit it shows there's a confidence to it and there's also like yeah you're afraid that you're gonna like fail but i feel like as you get older you're almost like like when you're depressed you don't want to put jeans on you don't even want to look good but sometimes like if you're feeling like shit putting on an outfit you like and trying that new hair tutorial you saw and you kind of pull it off can change your whole mood we're like so we're not saying like you have to look hot to be happy

but it's more like give yourself a chance to feel good about yourself exactly and the thing is like I think I was always scared to like change or you know because I'm so judgmental of other people it's like you know people that have been in the space for five minutes and they like do glam every day or whatever I can't even say the word glam without cringing at my I call it like like it makes me cringe so I think that it doesn't mean the fact that you like aren't just letting your hair air dry Amanda that you're like taking a fucking blow dryer to it doesn't mean that tomorrow you're Erica Jane yeah exactly and I think that was always my fear like no I'm not that I like my hair air dries and it's like no bitch it looks fucking frizzy so maybe when you're on camera but you're still you're still you're literally still yourself yeah you're not like suddenly wearing tons of crazy makeup

like like you're still doing everything that you would do I'm just so self-aware and I think you're the same way it's like yeah self-awareness can really get you and because I'm so self-awareness can really get you and because I'm so self-awareness every decision that I make is if it's subconscious or like super conscious it's there you know what I mean you're so right like being self-aware I think is what makes us have a sense of humor about life but it also can like cause crippling anxiety right right because you're too like what will it look like we judge this before so I can't really do it or but you know why I'm so happy you're friends with the Kardashians oh my god back to that one one because technically it means I'm basically friends of Kardashians but two because you're not a social climbing bitch like I know something people out there who like I'd be like oh of course they're friends with the Kardashians like

they've been working their whole life the latter or like you're not a bitch who wants to be seen at every event which is fine like I like an event moment you're just not that you're not that person so it's so funny that someone who like seems like they tried they wanted it the least it's like naturally happened yeah you're not a social climbing cunt thank you that means a lot but your networking is authentic and I think people can learn from it about networking I always say it's it's quality not quantity yeah i like for example rapaport and i i didn't try harder with him to be friends with him we just hit it off yeah like i love that your examples are so rabaport is my best friend no you guys hang out we like face time we tag so you guys hang out we like

face time we tag so it started because he loves bravo and he really liked my show chat room and he told me he was like i was jealous that you were on chat room he's like i wanted to did he audition no i was like first of all microport it was girls on bravo Second of all, do you want to switch careers? Like, also, I don't think he was in the running. That is so fucking funny. But he was like to just talk shit with Portia and Giselle about Bravo is my dream. No.

And I was like... Watch all the, all the franchises? Yep. And I was like, well, my dream is to be on a sitcom with Amy Schumer, so let's just swap. Like, let's literally swap. That's so funny. But I do think you can learn about networking. Like, also, like even yesterday I met a restaurant.

And also, what do you want? And also, what do you want? I don't want to be. you know like events that you're speaking of it doesn't interest me you're not trying to party with free tables and like bachelor contestants I don't need to be

I know we love bachelor contestant I don't yeah love by the way some sweet bachelor condescending love but like 3 a.m you're not trying to be like on the table with Tyler Cameron but you could be you should have him on the pod I haven't even tried

be like Hannah yo um i yeah the those are the things that come with my intuition it's like i think that a lot of people in this industry that are young and have been kind of an overnight thing and have blown up and immediately gotten agents and PR people and glam squads and whatever i am 34 i've been in this for over six years everything is intentional like i'm not if i'm not going to event events to be seen there's nothing that I don't want that's not what I'm looking for and it's not to say I have like I obviously want to be seen like I have an Instagram page like I'm putting myself out there but not in that capacity like where I want to if something interests me if my friend is having an event but

it's not like be seen does it be seen mingle to mingle like and a lot of people the word mingle gives me like high I know here's a life hack show up late after the mingling when everyone's already sitting down That's what I do. Just for the food. Yeah. And no one eats, but you're going to eat. That's the other thing. Like, I'm not meant for this life.

Go to that boo food fashion show. I'm like, can I get a diet cook? Like, no food, no drink. I'm like, my mouth is dry. And then, like I said, that dinner, it's like I sit down and I'm like, I'm like, we, no one's eating. Like, I'm going to eat. So, and people are like, your sleeve is getting in the pasta. I'm like, okay.

That's cool. But it's also. like you can tell when other people are trying to use you and I guess I'm so paranoid. Because you're like, you don't like me. No, I know. That's the thing. You notice that person doesn't like you, but they're still trying to be cool with you. Yes.

And they look at you like a product. So like I'm really paranoid of if I ask people who are popular to do things. Because I mean, it's not that like, I don't know. I just never want to be that person. And then people will be like, why haven't you asked me on your podcast? And I'm like, because I thought you didn't want to waste your time. But it's my own shit. I know.

That you need to. And just think. about that you're going to regret it if you don't. You're right. Yolo. Yolo. Like literally yo-yo. Get a no. Yo-no. Let's start with Bethany and then move on up to Haley. We know, I'm so scared. I don't want her to think, like, oh, my God, Hannah's been making these videos as this, like, long-term plan to get me on her pod. Like, I'm trying to

kidnap her. You're kind of like, it's Bethany. Let's simmer. I know. I know you're right. I just have... It would be so good. I have respect. I know it would. I mean, we're both friends with Rappaport. Oh, my God, I can't. Sorry, he's my favorite person. I know I could tell. Oh, my God. Babe, we've come such a long way from like, Luke. I don't know.

Okay. Time to play our final game. Oh, no. Is this gluttonous? I'm not doing it. You don't have to do the game. We already hit an hour. Okay.

She already played the game. So we're not doing it. You can go back to our old episode. Also, I was on your podcast. Right. Like two, three months ago, four months ago. Time flies. fast. I know. But everyone listen to that episode. Where can people follow you, watch you, listen to you? Give

me the tea. Um, not skinny but not fat on Instagram. Not skinny and not fat. Not skinny and not fat. Not skinny but not fat. Terrible handle. Are you going to change it to Amanda Hirsch? I think I should. I changed mine and it's, it's been really good. Yours is a little different. Yeah, mine was being burned. A thing. A thing. Or you change whatever. I'm not going to, we'll talk about this. She's become, she's changed you guys. All she wants to talk is business and it's like, who is she? But I, no, it's just, you know, not seem enough at my Instagram and my podcast and

yeah. Hell yeah. Well, thank you for taking this time to be with this unprofessional little shit. I love you. I love it. Make boys cry. Aw. I love it.

It's a little too obvious, though. No, it's just a shirt I bought it. Oh, have you been posting it a lot? I posted it once. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay, we don't want to stop talking, but we have to leave hell.

I love you guys so much. Thanks for coming. Talk to you later. Bye.