Berner Phone - Amanda Hirsch: Not Skinny But Not Fat & Just Had A Baby!

Episode Date: January 21, 2021

Amanda is back in hell and a lot has changed. Hannah has a lot of questions about what it is ACTUALLY like to pop a baby out and have to take care of it. They also laugh/cry at the mean stuff people say about them. Episode promo codes:  Betterhelp: www.Betterhelp.com/BERNING Feals: www.Feals.com/Bern  Upstart: www.Upstart.com/BERN ExpressVPN: www.Expressvpn.com/BERN  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is it hot seeing him be like sexy dad? No. Like you see him holding a baby. You're like, oh my God. No. Do you guys have more or less sex than before? Less. And also, I'm shook that he thought that he would like be getting sex.

Like I'm literally like, I pushed the baby out of there. Welcome to Burning Hell. Okay. we have a returning guest in hell whenever anyone wants to come back to hell i always question their sanity but i begged her to come in this is not skinny but not fat i guess the real person behind the account amanda fucking hersh welcome to hell satan welcomes you with open arms i love a few things a the first time i came on you said the name wrong and i almost i actually got nervous because i almost did it wrong i was like i overthought it because like if you

don't put the butt or the and like it can mean something different and that's just not cool um and two isn't it awkward to do the opening thing with the guest in front of your face or is that just me it's awkward when i like i rarely promote my stuff on here because i feel like it's weird to invite someone and be like okay guys like i have this show and this merch and like give me money and then who are you but no i like doing the intro because i feel like it makes people kind of embarrassed it's almost like singing happy birthday to them and they're kind of just like I don't know what to do but I'll just I'll just smile and then they always make a weird noise after you intro them they're like hey I was invited on a podcast and for the first 10 minutes they were talking and I was just there

yeah at some point you're like you could just talk about me the whole time and I'll not I know I love that I love when I have you on and that's legit what you say they dear media just put up a clip of you and I and it was like excuse me that was months ago we don't don't care anymore. But, but, but it was you saying something funny. And I was also like, hello, like put the, put their arm saying, but you saying something, you said, you said something very quick. What did you say like a drive by date? Did you see what they put up? Yeah, just like if you're going to date someone, like immediately go the DMV or like a home goods and see if it'll work. Yeah. So that was really funny. And then I remember that that podcast interview, I was like

sick. And first of all, people need to know something. What? It's really just. disgusting but like in this day of age we catch up when we podcast together yeah this is our catch up by the way you guys are just witnessing two friends we haven't talked for a while and i'm i was so excited to record this because when you don't know someone you have to like butter them up and like get them to trust you you already know you can't trust me so like we're just right into it i know i was telling you it's so weird because when i first met hannah like you guys and it's not that long ago where it's like two years she came to my house this like stranger stranger sketchy stranger sketchy a f with a giant iced coffee like jittering from the night before

dressed horribly went was like a have to poop went to my bad smelly blew it up and imagine like how crazy that is we're not talking about 2002 we're talking about a year ago where you wanted to podcast with someone you had to be physically with them in the same place like it almost makes me feel like we were crazy to not zoom i literally got on the subway went to your home apartment could have kidnapped you could have you went somewhere after or was it the second time the second yeah i always the city is i mean i've been in west hampton and i went to the city once and i was like did one of those things where i had to be somewhere but i also wanted to order food then i was like if i order food there and i call an uber would i get there in time and

I was like, wow, I've just dealt with more anxiety than I've dealt in months in West Ham. No, you're, you're very frazzled when you're in New York. You're like, I got out here, you got to go there. I'm taking up here. I have dinner with my parents. But first I'm going to go to this. And then, like, when you're more stressed, you make the worst decisions. Like, I've been on subways running late and then, like, convinced myself that I'm going

the wrong direction and just hop off the subway. Realize I was going the right direction. Now I can't get on the right subway. Then I get on an express, miss that stop. Like, that shit happens to me every day in York. Why would we, like, I remember when you wanted to have me. on your podcast, you were doing it at the Spotify headquarters. Oh, yeah.

You had to go all the way downtown. I was like, no, fuck you. Fucking Staten Island. Well, I am glad it worked out that you and I were in the same place, right? But like I had Kim Kardashian's makeup artist, Chris Appleton, in my home. You know, that didn't have to happen. You know, that was a little. I went all the way to L.A. to go on Danny Pellegrino's podcast.

How pathetic. I went to L.A. I told, I like wanted to excuse to go to L.A. for the first time. So I just booked like a ton of podcasts like, well, I have to go to L.A. if I want to be on Danny Pellegrino's. Oh my God. That's so. But, but we had this.

We had Zoom. We had these things existed, but we didn't use them in these ways. But I'm going to tell you, it's not like the same energy when it's a new person. Like when it's a new person, I feel like when you're, you get to like get them settled. Do you need some water? You have a little pre-talk. Yeah. We're like with Zoom sometimes.

hey what's up like radio pod with me and you have to like especially burning in hell it's super deep and I feel like I need to in the beginning have them just feel comfortable with me and it's harder over Zoom but do you rather interview people you know or don't know I rather into people I know so that's the thing like with me that's what we're talking about pitching guests before it's like if I want to interview someone like right now we're our own people right we're freelancers or whatever so I'm not working at e-news having to interview this actor I need to learn about them like i'm doing my own thing so i can choose but those are also so informal those e-news interviews they could be asking a fucking brick wall right and the brick wall is going to give very stereotypical media

trained answers right it's a like business exchange to get two i mean it's a television right where this is hour long in-depth like emotional discussions we're getting at and you're you're like blunt in your interviews like if people don't get your humor i feel like they can be like what the fuck was that you think really no well you could be like very sarcastic have you been reading my negative podcast reviews Hannah okay like you've been reading them let me say something about podcast reviews because by the time this comes out I'm probably gonna have a shit ton of bad ones just because I feel like imagine if people as humans had yelp reviews like people are literally rating us at humans like someone was like I hate that Hannah always talks about that she's from Brooklyn she plays tennis it's like

bitch that's who I am I get two stars for who I am then like why I can't change it for you. Hannah. What? Listen. Someone wrote about me. First of all, you guys, I want to say this and I've said it before and now I live my life in fear of people saying bad things about me, but I feel like if you heard me say this before, you're going to be like, you already said that, but I'm going to say it again, even if you heard it elsewhere, is this. I don't care. And this sounds super like Hollywood celeb annoying that I'm not, but I'm whatever. My point is, no matter what, we're conditioned in our brains. to always go to the negative.

So I can get a million messages a day. I love you. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you. And it's amazing at the moment. You're like, oh, like excited TikTok emotional emoji. But what stays in your head? The word for word that you just said word for word, Brooklyn and tennis.

That's only if it's negative. Yeah. You know what I mean? But it's also, think of like Selena Gomez, like how much hate that bitch gets. Oh. Because that's, that's just the more famous you get. The more famous you get. The more famous you get.

because that's what when you become a public figure you become entertainment for people and people taking you down and being able to judge you and not having any repercussions is like what brings people joy oh i just found a good one wait said unsubscribe wait listen to to the one i wanted to tell you first oh yeah sorry sorry i apologize i apologize okay because i remember i it's memorized in my brain i have to say just like take a little longer to do it we have a ton of time take your time that you don't understand okay Five minute lead in for this. It better be good.

Okay, this wasn't a podcast review. This is somebody sent me from a private Facebook group where this was a post about how much I suck. So one of the comments was, if I have to see her up close face in a video one more time saying vibe, I will chuck my phone in the Mediterranean Sea. But see, there's too, Mediterranean Sea, where are they living? It sounds amazing. Show off. Okay. Okay South of France

Like that makes me more annoyed Like if she was American I'd be like okay fucking bitch But what is she like Hanaria? She you know that Well I do think that You have to understand that some people love

Your face up close saying it's a vibe And then for other reason I might trigger them remind them of their like little cousin I would hate me Wait can I tell you what my batterer view was? Yeah I'm sure you have like one You don't get a lot of bad shit What?

I mean well no I just think it's funny when oh wait this one like went in oh my god tell me hannah's not as funny as she think she is going for saying someone's not funny is always funny but i also think it's funny that they think i think i think i'm funny too hard people love saying i try too hard really it's like yeah i'm trying i'm trying hard to make people laugh oh go fuck myself yeah she tries to use a sexy voice on this podcast that just isn't well thank you for thinking my voice okay all of that is wrong you don't try to have a sexy voice you're not as relevant as you think you are Did I say I was relevant?

Bitch, I'm afraid every day that, like, that just, like, I'm going to lose all everything. You guys, is this voice sexy to you? The fame went straight to, is this sexy? The fame went straight to your head. You need a reality check. You're quite disgusting, too. Also, they use the wrong yore, which makes me happy. You have the typical millennial mentality that gives the rest of us millennials a bad name.

What does I mean? Also, my boyfriend. from get mad and we'd be like, why'd you read that? That's what they want. They want the attention. Okay. So, Des Dez Dezim is right and I have to stop myself so many times. First of all, like you were saying before, nor I nor you, which is probably not correct grammar,

is are affected by this like negative like, yeah, we'll get a little bit of, but obviously there are people to get much more hate and deal with much more negative shit. And it comes with the territory to have a little bit of, you know, you get some love, you get some hate but but but des is so right because my first instinct when i saw the mediterranean sea thing i was like a i was like that's kind of a vibe like i was kind of into that negative i was like the face up close made me really it's kind of funny it's kind of funny like it's kind of funny like at least be funny about it you know yeah like some people say i should brush my hair more and i literally like liked one and i was like my mom just said the same thing like watching summer house so

sometimes like but the thing is you just can't engage and i actually i really don't get affected by a lot of them. The only thing that pisses me off is when I watch Summer House and people see a snippet of something and then people love to see what they want to see so they will connect A to B to C

to be like, wait, if Hannah did this that means she's this type of person and then like you get that kind of hate where it's like, and it's also the same people if I'll respond to one thing it'd be like you're completely correct about this like I apologize. People are like, fuck yeah.

It's just sometimes people just want to be heard. And you know what? if you give them a finger like so i the mediterranean see thing i thought was funny so i put it up i was like oh my god this is so funny now a few things happened from that a there are people get they're gonna think i'm fishing no amanda you're so amazing we love your up close face and your vibe and like i don't want to be fishing for compliments and the second thing is which happened i deleted it pretty quickly because i was like i don't want that energy was yeah some people thought it was like a question box of like what else bothers you about me so i got a a dm being like and also um when you say lordy it's

really offensive because you know i call justin beaver lordy that he's like getting too lordy like too into the lord wait that's offensive to lords to people that love the lord oh the lord i thought you just meant like a lord i see people don't even get me so you're hating me on something you don't get like i'm saying well that no that's a thing they get what they want to get right we have to remember a lot of the people listening are like guys shut the fuck up just because like they don't we are putting ourselves out there and this is like a part of the game right we're like they're not getting random DMs because they're like living their life like sane people they for whatever reason don't need to get as much attention as we need to but it is I think that people need to sometimes even if you're a publicer person try not to project take a minute be like did this person mean this Or am I putting my own feelings into it? You know, if I'm saying, oh, my God, Gigi Hadid is walking around without a nanny, a person at home with a nanny is going, what's wrong with a nanny?

Yes. I didn't say anything was wrong with a nanny bitch at all. I want 10 nannies. Now, I can't be disclaiming every single thing I say being like, by the way nannies are fine. You know what I mean? Yes. You need to live your life. Because also what made you popular was you being you.

you guys so not skinny but not fat her insta stories are just fire like she shut up it's literally like a fucking vibe a fucking vibe like laying in the Mediterranean sea um I sorry I can't talk because my invisible line material we're with it now no I took them out for this but then you like forget how your teeth work it's a journey I'm on it I'm on a fucking transformation journey but I do think that it's what makes you you and your into stories are so unfiltered and I hate to be like oh she's so unfiltered but if you had to think before you said all your thoughts of it if it'll like and also things that are funny are slightly offensive because it means you're calling someone out on like something that's honest and true that people

are afraid to say which is one form of comedy and you know what Hannah if I was smart I probably wouldn't because imagine if you take a second you're like wait would Gigi take this the wrong way if she saw this you know like would she care because you come from a place of like they won't see that and like a social media is crazy like you can get to people you don't know who's seeing your shit well you're that friend who is saying what everyone else might be thinking or you're more creative and funny to think of things they couldn't think of about a situation like when hilarious happened I had to look at what you were saying because I wanted to hear what it was going to be and if you filtered it then it would be like me fucking talking to you know someone who doesn't care and like

I love Hilaria, and that's what's so funny is, like, people, like, people are like, go to not scheming enough fat for all the late. I was like, not seeing how fat is just like talking about what's happening. Wait, do you actually love Hilaria? I have mixed feelings. She, it's saying now that Alec Baldwin and her aren't living in the same house, the news, like, or was it a quarantine thing? Like, he works in the city.

They're like twisting it. That's a thing. 2021, they're twisting it. 2021 news is like, A, like, the way the aren't. army hammer stuff is coming out but it's all like old it's like okay now it's all coming up but it's like old stuff and then yeah with hilaria all these years she's been doing the accent but it's only surface now and now they're trying to make the alec Baldwin thing seen but he talked about in an interview weeks ago or like a month ago that he had another place to quarantine because as a pop culture expert why do you think the new cycle is being like this right now are they like just like grasping first of all

listen daily mail the sun that kind of shit we all know it's like not but but even with the what what else was i obsessing over um hoivia harry styles and olivia wild oh yeah that was wild to me um because i knew i knew from an inside source no i i knew from an inside someone who worked with them i have friends in high places I do listen I'm not de moi okay I'm not getting DMs being like like people sometimes they're like anon I'm like listen bitch like I'm not like I'm not but I'll post what you said because it's interesting but I'm not demure but my point is I wouldn't post something someone said to be true when I said I know that Olivia Wilde fell in love with Harry Styles on the

set of the movie broke up with Jason Jason Sadecas is hard broken is like whatever and I knew that Olivia Wilde and her PR team laid it out so that the timeline would make sense for her story I was saying it but I didn't want to like my my source oh my god yes you don't want to lose your source no and I promised her him I was like I was like can I say it and they were like yeah but just make sure we're not attached to it. So I was like, okay. And I think for me trying to figure out a way to say it and not have them kind of whatever made me sound so confusing that people were like, what? So I shouldn't, that shouldn't be my job like what I was doing. But to your question, I think I forgot what my question was. If I think the news is laying it out like. Oh yeah. So I think quarantine and this

talking life has made us so bored and so crazy that that because because like this shit right I would have just accepted it before I'd been like ship olivia woohoo like what a hot couple now I'm like how'd they get together fada I'm like going crazy and then you're fucking nailing it right now I mean I think think about the hilarious thing if that happened while we were actually working in normal life no one would have the time to be like let's make fun of this bitch but immediately I was um because we're all just stuck on our phone. People were waiting for it. It's like people were like, give us, give us something.

And everyone is giving the same kind of content just being like, this is hilarious. She said this. She said that. And hilarious Baldwin. We're not talking about Britney Spears. If you have the time to read a Reddit thread about a celebrity that you've never really heard of or cared about before, you are fucked up in quarantine. And we all are.

They're so right. And everyone made a video about it. You did. I did. Every comedian did. And everyone's like, ha, ha, ha. And then we all made memes about how obsessed we were that we couldn't stop talking about it. So there was a second wave.

You're so right. But also with the pandemic and then with the rioting, I know that it's just been a terrible week. But speaking of like talking shit about people, now that you are a mother, do you feel like you are going to change the way you talk shit on people? Or has it enhanced it? Or has it just changed your mindset at all about your career? no I'm the same dumb bitch that I hoped and knew I would be honestly okay we're about to discuss motherhood a bit because I have not had a lot of mothers on this podcast because my my friends are babies themselves and are not responsible however I'm going to tell you a

quick story and then we're going to segue into some intense questions to you so I've been fostering dogs. It's like my new passion in life. I work with Southampton Animal Shelter. They're called pot cake dogs. They're these dogs in the Caribbean that are so gorgeous and so cute and they get fed from like the rice at the bottom of the pot. They like they give it to them. Anyway, they just like live these short lives. They get sick and they're just these like street dogs. So when they get rescued, they're a fucking scared shitless of people. They don't even know what a house is. They're just like these rabbit animals and we socialize them. So I took in this first one, Nutella.

She was amazing. We got her adopted. It felt amazing. They're like these, like, challenges that I want to help just by, like, loving them a lot. So then we got this other dog, TomTom, who was incredible, and she really bonded to us, and we got her family, and she's doing great. Then the adoption center was like, you guys are doing amazing and fostering. We're going to give you the hardest challenge, this girl, Nina, who has, it's been a month,

and she's still, like, is so scared. So two weeks go by, and she's starting to do well. like let's take her to Southampton. And I'm walking her around Southampton Village, which sounds so pretentious. Out west, out east. I was like, this is better than the street, right? Like, these dogs are not. They're about to be adopted in the Hamptons.

And her leash gets kind of caught on this wooden stake. And the leash falls out of my hand for a second. And these dogs are just taught, like, when they're scared, to run. She runs all through Southampton Village, past like 10 people. like Des is chasing her you're like not supposed to chase her but you don't want to lose her and we call the shelter immediately and we're like we're so sorry like we have to take action they send their people to Southampton was amazing we found her at nighttime and she's good but like we went through so many emotions it was like and I turned to Des and he looked at me and he goes

and this is why we're not having kids anytime soon and I was like yeah but our kid would not run that fast wait did that offend you or no He was joking because it wasn't your fault. The shelter has been amazing because at first we were like, oh no, we're going to get blacklisted. This is like something I love to do. And like we did the worst thing you could possibly do is lose the dog. But they were like, apparently a bunch of them have a skate from fosters. It's just like how they are.

And they were like, it could happen to anyone. No dog should sprint away just by dropping the leash for a second, you know? So, but I definitely learned from it. It was hard. But long story short, I do want to have kids, but I've never thought about it. Really. And we were joking, like, I looked at him and I was like, so now you're sure you know. But anyway, did you want to have a child?

Yeah. Like for how long? No, not for a lot. Basically, my, I was very delayed as opposed to my friends because my husband is Israeli and we got married in Israel and our friends are like from there, it's quicker there. Like people get married and have babies, blah, blah, blah. In New York, it's like not like that. But anyway, I wasn't even too like, wow.

proposed to me like I knew I was going to marry my husband so I didn't really even care when he was going to propose he'd propose we got married fine that didn't mean I was like ready to have kids and then for years he was like so like and I'd always be like no not yet blah blah blah and then what was your reason to like not want it I literally felt like you just I know it's so lame to be like you know but it just like was like not an option it's not like oh maybe 10% want to 90% don't it was like I know I want kids I don't want it now at all like because I think there's a lot of there's a lot of people listening that either want a kid had a kid or don't want a kid and like it's interesting that you've been through that yeah because I'm the kind of person I'm actually pretty

traditional where it's like yeah I want a family I want a kid but then I don't want it now and I'm like so I hope I get the craving soon but like you'll know yeah so you will so that's what I'm saying like i was you're 28 now 29 babe who's counting oh my god oh my god oh my god it's a lot um so so legit like didn't want like what do you mean didn't want again you can know that you want things later in life like there was well no i know i want it but i just feel like if i if the pandemic's over and i start traveling like i don't want the kid to like hold me back so listen to this crazy and I'll jump I'll jump so I'll say knew I wanted it but knew that like I'm doing it whenever I want I'm not being pressured by husband telling me so and so is on their second kid

no when I'm ready and also you know me I have anxiety so if let's say I was having a tough year anxiety wise I'm not going to fucking deal with pregnancy now so I'd put it off for longer you know what I mean and then finally I think it was last year I was doing pretty okay anxiety wise we had a trip plant to Israel. He asked me about it again, one of our like walks with the dog. And I was like, you know what? Let's go to Israel. And he's in my state of mind. So we wanted to have fun in Israel. And like, yeah. So he's like, okay, so when we get back from Israel and I was like, yeah. And then, like, I held to it. He's so cute. I held to it. And then I was lucky in the sense that we got back from Israel. We did it. And I think the first month I got my period and then the second month I didn't

get my period. And I remember the first thing I thought was like, first of all, what I saw the sick was like you don't know how your body is like I never got knocked up by mistake you know what I mean like I didn't know yes you're not like oh it's that feeling like I didn't know I was fertile I didn't know if it was going to take much any feeling I get I'm like oh does that mean I'm pregnant yeah like I didn't know and you also don't know like oh I'm super fertile I forgot my pill once and I had to get an abortion like I never had scares I never had anything whenever like one boob hurts I'm like I'm pregnant it's like you got you punch yourself on the boob bitch calm down

see but then you think this all the time but when you want to get pregnant you won't know so did you like wait for the day you ovulate so that's the thing this is what annoys me i hate when people pretend like they're like and it just happened like no bitch it's not romantic like like i mean it's not mechanical but it's like we decided we're ready to have a baby so i'm a very organized person i look in my app i'm not going to have sex with you 30 days out of the month are you fucking kidding. No, but this is not how science works. I have the flow app. So that's the app I used too anyway for my period. So that was the app I had to log my period and my period was very on time. So I looked at the app. I was like, when am I getting my period? And then it says it says

like days of ovulation. So on those days we did it. So what annoys me is people being like and then it just like, like you know you looked at the days you're ovulating. Okay. Enough. I was talking about in terms of engagements like I was thinking about it and how movies literally make it like one day he just comes up with this perfect ring that you could never have envisioned that beautiful and you're so surprised and there just happens to be a photographer like bitch it did not look like that ever it was not like that that's not what happened and but I don't want to switch to engagements because we're talking about babies here which are like next level oh someone's talking about engagements back okay also you are like not skinny but not fat

But I'm really hot, yeah. How did you, yes, how did your relationship with your body change? Wait, I wanted to answer your previous question. I really believe you're like, what was it? I really believe. I don't remember. I was scared like you. I was a selfish ass bitch.

Yes. And my husband would tell me like, you're thinking the wrong way because I would be like, but what about me in the back that I haven't like made all my dreams come true? Because it's a valid question, you know? Yeah. Should you wait until? you've achieved everything you've ever wanted, which you don't know what that is, or will it not stop you? Like, you don't know. And let me tell you, in, in, in Judaism, I don't know if in all

religions it's like that. Like, we do believe that babies are like a blessing, you know, like babies are a blessing. It's life. It's a blessing. Like, whatever. So I had to always tell myself, like, it's a blessing. And then like literally, knock on wood, like when Noah came, things have even gotten crazy or better for me you know what I mean and it's so wild because I was just talking about like I'm just saying like my my my my in like just everything got more are you more focused no I literally feel like it's like just good things kind of happened yeah you know how this industry is like things kind of happened so it's like he came you can't plan it you can't I do feel there's a sense of like I always tell people like you will make it work I'm like quit your job bitch you will make it work and that's how I

feel like it is with kids like you can't not have a baby as a woman because you're like well then all my dreams die like this is 20-21 and I feel like you fucking figure it out but it's like way harder than a dog right so yeah no comparison there I used to do the same thing I'm like but my dog and like really if anyone had murdered me like I would have deserved it because I said that so many times and I would like I mean I'm a cat mom and I know that cats are like so fucking And more than that, like, I also, like, judged people who are, like, not as nice to their dog and I'm not as nice to my dog. I'm like, stop Leo, ew, get away. Like, I'm like, I'm mean to Leo.

I'm like, stop the baby, though, is here. So you can't. It's really crazy because it's nothing like a freaking dog. Like, it's nothing. I'm glad that we settled that because it was some confusion, but now we know. Your Instagram, not skinny, but not fat is such an amazing name. But, like, you've gotten hate for the name. you've had to because anything with body image triggers people fat phobank i hate the name now i'm

like ugh couldn't i call myself amanda herge but how is your relationship with your body changed being pregnant seeing your body as a vessel for life now postpartum body what's going on with your mental state and relationship with your skin i have to say it's pretty healthy i'm kind of have now no one's asked me that yet Hannah so I have to say that I'm shocked to say that it's like a healthy first of all every person has their own relationship with their body and can take you can say you can whatever my point is when I was pregnant for me it helped to be like I want to gain this amount of weight I'm a very like like in my head I was like I want to make sure that I don't gain more than 35 pounds and my sister who

gained like a thousand pounds would always hate me she's like Amanda you're raising a baby and her ballet like I'm like that doesn't mean I have to get like super duper fat I can get like a little so every person can do whatever they want you want to let it all go let it all go I wanted to like know where I'm at I still wait in every week and I wanted to gain like I looked at like there's like a chart so I wanted to gain like the the end it was like at my weight between 25 and 35 pounds. So I was like, okay, I want to gain. Did you have any weird unhealthy cravings? No. But I did eat things you're not supposed to eat because I'm so chill and cool. Like what? There's so many things to worry about. And then they're like, you can't eat deli meat.

I'm like, I have bigger fish to fry. I'm going to eat deli meat. And then it's like, you can't eat hummus because Listeria. And I'm like literally world hunger. I'm going to eat hummus. Like there are too many stupid things that when you realize how many fears go into being. pregnant having a baby you think i'm scared of fucking turkey i'm gonna eat turkey it's also like i'm pretty sure 200 years ago people there probably wasn't yeah no my my mom would say that my mom would say that she's like but yeah 50 years ago they were like eating whatever they needed to eat to make sure there was enough nutrients my mom was like pasteurized like i never had to like worry about that so it's like bullshit so i was pretty leaning on that so i had no cravings because i ate whatever i wanted how was your anxiety well i was on so

loved still a lot of people ask me about it so I'll say it here I did my own research and by my doctors it was allowed like and the thing is with being pregnant they can't do studies on pregnant people right with drugs actually it's such a good point I never thought of that but from studies that they did do like SSRIs I think are like the safest and every psychiatrist psychologist doctor will tell you everything is is is is is benefit against risk right so if there's the risk of hannah falling into a deep depression not on medication and being pregnant or there's a tiny tiny tiny risk of some tiny thing that probably won't happen to the baby but healthy mom so they always say like healthy mom so i kept on my zoloft and thank god noah came out healthy and fine

and it was all like approved my mind doctors check it out very yourself don't take my word for it but did you ever think i want to try to get off this i did babe i failed miserably what happened i i i relapsed that sounds like so intense but actually what happened was at first i did tell my husband i was like i want to have a baby like without being on medication which i now regret why because i felt so amazing on medication that i was like i can get off medication yep and not take the risk but how long had you been on it for a few years yeah so then i i went off of it i was good for a while and then i started getting bad anxiety again but what i did with myself prior to getting off of it was this i said amanda you are not suffering

again you're trying to go off it if you feel not good you're not giving it a day a month a year you're giving it five seconds and saying nope not work it's not my relationship with taking medication became healthy i you when when i got on it the beginning i'd curse it i'd see that the fucking bottle and be like i hate that you depend on this i hate that you fucking need this now i'm like come come hither my little lovey buggy because if you feel good fuck it but it also it's enabling you to it's enabling you to be your true self without some of these like terrible anxious chemicals and cortisol that is literally inhibiting you from being happy exactly so listen at the end of the day i go with what people say which is are do you have diabetes

you need insulin. Do you have headaches? You need a migraine medication. You have anxiety. You have depression. You have whatever. Taking a like normalize medication. No, but really like it should be I talk about this whenever I'm asked about it because for me as lame as that sounds when I took medication the first time, which was like 2010, no one was talking about it. I was so ashamed. Now when I see like celebrities talk about it, it still gets me excited. I'm like, oh my God, Chris, Bell is on end. Oh my God. Amanda Seifred stayed on Lexa Pro pregnant. Like I love seeing that because it makes me, Amy Schumer, everyone's on fucking medication. And it makes you feel a little bit more normal where you're like everyone's dealing with shit. Well, it's so funny because I said it on

Summer House that I was on something. And like literally no one said shit because I think so many people are on something. Everyone's like, oh, what is that? Oh, Paxil? I've done that. And I don't know. I, I'm going to bring up tennis just to piss that one person off. but I had so much bad anxiety one season because I was like not getting along with my coach and I was getting all this pressure to like to stay in this number one spot that I literally lost my second serve like I psyched myself out like what's the worst thing that could happen to me I'm like I can't hit my second serve and then it literally started happening like I shanked every second serve I was serving underhand in division one tennis and I went on Paxil and within two

months I got my serve back oh my God so it's like I don't know like it's not fucking it's real it was that like these thoughts were inhibiting me from playing the way I just normally play but my question to you is now that you've become a mom like do you have some kind of like mantra like affirmation or goal that you are as a parent like I feel like I don't really know about parenting but like do you have a goal for your kid as I'm not saying like I want to be a soccer player but more like your parenting style I really, really believe that all a kid needs is like unconditional love. Like that's what I got.

And even though I was raised by a single mom and a fucked up dad, I'm not fucked up. I just talked about being on medication. I'm really no. I mean like you would think like with a fucked up dad, whatever. Well, you're able to love. Right. I have healthy relationships. I wasn't like I didn't have daddy issues in that like weird way.

You don't have to attack people. You don't have to attack. I'm just kidding. Usually that's what I'm saying. Usually bitches with like good dads are more fucked up than with bad dads. You know what I mean? Because they're like, they're like, wait, there's bad guys out there. Right. Right. Exactly. I'm like everyone's bad. Okay. You're good. I'm dating an older guy who's 44 and people are like, do you have daddy issues? I'm like, I'm not 20 dating a 60 year. First of all, I'm 29. My eggs are almost dying. And like he's just experienced in life. Yeah. Like I'm not trying to fuck my dad. I don't have daddy issues dating a 44 year old. Even though my dad is closer an age to him, but it's not, it's not the point. Oh my god, stop, really? My dad's 57. Yeah, my mom's like 55. Your parents are young.

I know they like talk about the 80s together. It's so annoying. Oh my God, that is wild. But it's great because I could just like leave him in the room and I like go and like, he's probably good with parents because yeah, oh my God, that's amazing. Yeah, they're like friends. Oh my God. That is cray cray.

They like make fun of me, which I love. That's how we show affection. Unconditional love. I really do believe that. And I feel like. okay are you like miss universe right now and world peace no because a you don't have to be super smart you don't have to be super responsible you don't you just have to love that baby you know what I mean yeah do you feel pressure for the baby to be like compared

to your friend's babies like as smart or like athletic oh my god no my baby is so much better than everyone's a baby that's why I want to say Gigi's baby so I can prove to Gigi the no is better isn't that with like keeping up with the jefferson's or whatever it is is like everyone like do you feel pressure like get your baby into like um math classes or something like no hannah i don't know i'm just like trying to think of like the new york city parent mentality oh my god because you're trying to think because you were pressured into like being an athlete and you're gonna project it on your baby yeah when i was like one years old i know i don't want to i literally think that's what you're asking that's what you're doing right now i'm projecting on to you don't predict i'm nervous because i don't want to do that to my

baby but then it's like cut to like my baby doing like gymnastics at two and me like starting Instagram for it oh my God I don't want to do that but then part of me is like my baby is going be so fucking good but I don't know what I would want to do and I do believe this and again this is a personal thing I would want to direct my baby because I feel like you need direction and I feel like for me direct it in what way like a play no no like if your dad saw your athletic ability in tennis and directed you I don't think that's a bad thing you know what I mean I love what you're saying because it reminds me of a documentary I watched about blind guide dogs you know like when you see a blind person have the dog

next to them and the dog guides them so those dogs go through like really intense training to get there but they go through rounds where like some dogs will get cut in the training program because they're just not meant to be a guide dog like some dogs love organization and they love structure and they love helping and some dogs are like, I want to be silly and crazy. You became like such a dog freak from being like a cat woman. What happened? You guys, everyone watched pit bulls and parolees. I love pit bulls.

I want people so bad. But we still love butter and cats. I want a cat and a pit bull to take a nap together and my life will be complete. But anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I'm not telling you how to parent, but in general, I feel like you want to find what your kid naturally wants to do and what makes them happy and then guide them. Like I wish my mom. nurtured the part of me that is now that I that I created for myself like I didn't need her but yeah

I did I went to study marketing and do all this shit because for like my mom but I said I for my kid I feel like we're going to be at more progressive times where we're not going to force them to go to college for like English or something dumb it's like no let's find what you're good at no one should have to pay for no one should have that major okay if you if your parents pay paid $45,000 for you to study English. It's like me studying communications. Like it's not. Unless they want to be an author.

Unless, unless. Unless they won't be an author. But I do think it's like you can try to make your kid be an athlete. And it's like someone asked this famous like comic, fuck I forget her name. But they were like, can you teach sense of humor? And she was like, yes, the same way you teach height. And it's like you can't. So it's the same way where it's like, if you see your kid's fucking funny and it's like,

like you can play soccer and you could get better at it but you're never going to be great but put them towards comedy or something or put them towards the question is what's the line between being like a stage parent and a pushy parent or a parent that is like delusional about their kids um you know yeah whatever talent i i just think you should see what your child is good at and i think it's okay to help direct them in a way that makes sense that you don't have to at at 18 we're so fucking stupid when we're deciding what to go study in college, you know what I mean? And if we were given a few more years and actually did what we wanted to do, but at the end of the day, we end up figuring it out anyway. You know what I mean?

I love that. And also, I'm a little crazy because I was like put into tennis. I'm like, what's your kid's thing? But it's also like loving your kids should not be attached with their accomplishments. And also like their ego should not be connected to like what they're accomplishing as well but sometimes it naturally they'll love to do something was your dad a stage dad oh yeah he was i mean he was like so entrenched in it with me like it was like we're very similar so he was just kind of living like he a stage dad now with you like is he god no no he's the fucking best like he can just sit back and enjoy and then like closes ear sometimes but he i like people like oh your parents okay with this i'm like they made me i'm a creation from them like my dad's

hilarious and my mom is like very like business savvy and hardworking what do you mean okay with what when you're being dirty like me having sex on television oh my god how were they with that i mean my dad like loves watching summer house like he pretends he doesn't but he'll be like wait episode's over what happens next time but i feel like can't you just tell him like no dad like wait when they use your moaning yeah was i literally just yelled la la la la la la and he's like i can't hear the TV like he didn't know what was happening and I'm like you don't want to hear it and my mom's laughing like we just laugh at everything that's amazing but I do think that I learned from him people will tell me like oh this kid is 10 years old and they're such a good golfer like do you have any advice

for them and I'll just because I was in sports and I go yeah you can't decide that this person's going to be amazing because you know puberty's going to hit are they going to choose this over parties then you know their own mental state of them is this fun for them to keep doing it their whole life any 10 year old could be great at something but it's them actually loving it because they have to choose to go to practice you can't make them right so when i hear a kid is good at like 10 years old it's like make sure they keep loving it don't be like oh send them to florida to an academy to get burnt out by 12 right so anyway that's my two sons well how this turned to me telling people how to parent their children i don't know but you're enabling it i'm trying to imagine you as a man oh well it's cute it's fun to

be cute you know like i i sometimes think about myself and i'm like i'm so like how cute have you seen a different side have you have you seen no just the people actually yeah a lot of people but how has hubs has changed husb sorry husb changed since having the kid like have you seen different sides of him he's seen different sides of me no not my like vagina oh i was about did you poop when you no but you basically poop the baby out like let you orgasm no i don't know what kind of wacky doulas are saying this to people but like they're crazy oh because you were asking about my body too oh my god you're so oh my god hannah what's wrong with you what was it oh don't take it out on me that you can't keep up yeah that's i drink coffee before then he if i

I've seen the difference out of him. The thing is, let me tell you this. Men at the beginning, this is what happens. You poop out the baby. They give you the baby. You're the mom. Two seconds later, you have nurses in your room, putting the baby on your boob, being like, this is how they latch and here's the baby.

And that night, you sleep with the baby in the room at the hospital. And you're like, given the baby. Like, it's basically as if you're like, I'm allowed to like own, like it feels weird. So as the mom, I don't know, it is like an instinct. you take over you do what you have to do because the guy is a little more detached because he wasn't having the baby in his belly he wasn't whatever they're kind of like in shock for much longer than you are like I feel like the first month I feel like the image of him was just like standing behind us like I was changing him he was like standing I was it was and I was

almost like is this what it's going to be like what the fuck and then everyone told me like it takes guys time for so many reasons. Like I said, they're not the ones. You went through nine months of having it in your belly and knowing that. Feeling it kicking. Exactly. So you're much more attached to it.

And then again, they, you feed them. You're in charge of them living. So the guys are always more like in shock and detached. So it took him like a month to like real. So I wanted to murder him in that time. And I'll- Because he was just shocked.

because he was yeah because they're like kind of you're they don't know what to do and you're like I don't know what to do but I have to do it you know what I mean so yeah it's like your your instincts take over your instincts take over and theirs don't like they literally say like for instance I'm not recommending this but that a mom could like fall asleep with their baby on her because you would never your instincts are so sharp with your baby that they can't fall but like the dad can't do that because he'll roll over on the baby like he doesn't have the instincts that you naturally have for that baby. What I'm saying is we should all have just been lesbians and like raise babies with

women because I don't know what to tell you. Is he getting better now? Yes. He's definitely getting better. Oh my God. So amazingly better. But not as good as me. Of course not.

No. But is it hot seeing him be like sexy dad? No. Like you see him holding a baby. You're like, oh my God. No. Do you guys have more or less sex than before? Less.

And also I'm shook that he thought that he would like be getting sex. Like I'm literally like, I push the baby out of there. Like you're shocked. You're like, you wouldn't like they don't care. Guys don't fucking care. Like on one hand, you think it's cute. You're like, oh, you think I'm still sexy. But like, no, they just don't care.

They don't care that your vagina hole is just like where it's a baby. They don't care that I still have like a dark line in the middle of my stomach. Like, so it's cute that they don't care because you're like, oh, you think I'm so hot. Or are you just a dude? And dudes are just, like, corny all the time, you know? Yeah, the huck stuff to the fucking peach. I don't know what he thinks. Like, I have two hours to sleep.

I do not have time for this. And I don't care what anyone says. Does he ever wake up, like, middle of the night to get the baby? Or does the baby wake up? Yes. Oh, my God. The baby wakes up so much. But yeah, it's hard.

It's hard. You have to have a really solid foundation having a baby with someone. Because even if you do and husband and I are like, we're like we were born and raised that's how we feel like we're so connected and it's still it takes a toll because another element is brought into your lives think about has he's used to me like he's like oh like rub my feet and like now he's like can you scratch my back i'm like scratch you're what you know it's like i don't fucking have time for this like are you fucking getting me i totally get that since we decided like kids and dogs are basically the same like at like 11 p.m

11 p.m the dog needs to be walked i'm like not a dog person but once i was like i'm going to show des that i'm like the best girlfriend ever like he was ever doubting me he was like oh the dog has to be walked and i was like i'll do it and he's like really and i'm like yes i'm a hero but i didn't understand that when you walk a dog and the dog starts like rolling on the ground it means they're probably rolling around in dog shit yeah i thought like when a cat rolls around her back it's she's happy so this dog's like rolling around and then i walk her back and it's like 1130 he's asleep and the dog really really of dog shit and I'm like

Des the dog has poop all over him and he's like wakes up like jolts out of bed and he puts the dog takes a shower with the dog and he's just like you never walking the dog again not late at night Wait so Des made you a dog person basically Yeah except like obviously I've had some hiccups Because I don't really understand dogs but I love them

Well I'm happy that you love dogs Thank you And that you're not just like a weirdo cat lady Thank you but I still am but thank you you yeah but that you have another aside yeah what's b and and that is kind of how i want to wrap up this podcast because you never know where life is going to lead you but i want to i'm not playing the seven deadly sins because we we played it last time it's super intense and amanda's like terrible to answering them but listen to amanda's old question oh you thought of something

yeah i want to say what do you want to say i was really complimented that in the group chat for your live show um i wrote something and someone thought i was des oh yeah because you were like not wanting to be a part of it and yeah and someone's like that's and i was like no does isn't responding because he's sitting next to me i was like des respond to grip chat and he's like i'm next to you yeah because hannah asks questions on her podcast which like someone needs to corner this bitch and ask her those annoying questions that like i don't know if my vocabulary is off but i remember when we did the podcast last time i was like what does that mean like not None of the words I knew.

I asked her what gluttonous meant. And she was like, who? Gluttonous. But if you want to hear her answering the seven deadly sins, I highly recommend you listen to Amanda's first episode on the podcast where she is not a mom yet and kind of compare notes. Also listen to all the episodes I've went on not skinny, not fat. Not skinny but not fat. Sorry, I do that on purpose.

Actually, I didn't. No, listen, listen to Hannah on my podcast because I am better at interviewing and, um. And second of all, like, I got dirt out of her and you hear she's like, who, Summer House, who? So to wrap this up, now that you're a mom and you're wise and you've brought a human into this planet, what advice would you give to people on how to cope with your hell when you're going through it? Think about all the times you went through hell. They ended those times. You know what I mean?

It really helps me get through the day when I have a shitty day where I'm like, remember that fucking shitty day or you know what that shitty month that shitty year you got through that year and then you had an amazing year and okay and then you had another shitty month but then you got through that month and so every single time i've had periods of anxiety or periods of hell i came out the other side and okay we might have to deal with it again it never goes away we're not a hundred percent perfect on any day shape form year lifetime but we always we we we end up getting better We end up getting through those hard times and coming out the other side. So always know, like, you shall get through it.

You shall come out the other side. And don't be hard on yourself because that doesn't help anything. Being hard on yourself just makes it that much worse. And also know this. People that go through hell are, are interesting. Okay. You're going to have a better sense of humor. We need trauma.

Yes. I do sometimes think that or sometimes I'll be like, you know, something good's going to happen after this. I could tell. But history does repeat itself. and in the past hell has froze over and good things will always come along imagine you didn't have the fucking tennis trauma what would that person review you about yeah what would that person say you won't shut the fuck up yeah she'd have nothing to say and then i wouldn't be able to joke about on this podcast and it would have been boring but amanda you're the fucking best where can people

follow you listen to you give me all the goods i hate that question too you are so judging i think you should nix it i think it's like 1999 podcast we were like where can people People find you. You don't want to get promoted? Or you want me to say it. Okay, listen to Amanda's podcast, not skinny, not fat. Not skinny, but not fat. And listen to her episode with me.

The other ones are like decent, but mine's pretty great. And then. So not skinny but not fat on Instagram. All the episodes, but also the ones with Hannah. Leave her review. Say her name would be better if she took the butt out. Hannah, I love you. I love you so much.

And I'll talk to you guys later in hell. Ba-ba-pah-pah-ha-ha.