Berner Phone - Annie Lederman: Hypnosis & Masturbation Manifestation

Episode Date: August 6, 2022

Hilarious comedian and podcaster, Annie Lederman, has a chaotic trip to hell. She discusses her similarities with Hannah, they get a call from Bonnie McFarlane, and she explains how went from living in her car to becoming the person she wants to be. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning What is up, guys, we're in hell Where I talk to people about their demons. We have a very, very special guest in hell. Her name is Annie Letterman, and she's a comic. She's a podcaster. She's a writer. She's also my Eskimo sister, which...

Are we allowed to just? talk about it. I don't know. We don't know if we're a lot to talk about it, which means... We kind of look alike a little bit. I did. You know what I'm your Eskimo sister with too now? What? Um, fashion Nova jeans. Shut the fuck up. No, I saw you. I, I ordered them immediately. And they're like 35 bucks. They're perfect. Sinch the waist. These ones do look. Shut. You know what? Guys like our, guys like our booties. Yeah. But you don't, I was trying to slap it, but it missed. Looks like I was attacking you. I feel like guys like us because we're, Loud.

Loud. Loud, successful, powerful, yeah. We have stronger butts to than most girls. Yeah, like... You have bigger tits than you, though. Like, sturdy.

Do I? Yeah. You have good tits. Oh, my God, thank you. Like, if I was relying just on the tits, like, if I had a flat ass, I'd be in some trouble. Sure.

The tits wouldn't pull up. They're not... They are good. They're small, good shape. Like, this is very padded, but... Yeah. It, uh...

If it was just the tits, I would have to get it. What's with the padded bra? Why don't you embrace? Oh, no, I go brawlers too. Because it's like so fucking hot out. No, I do both. I do both.

Okay. I feel like L.A. you've gotten like increasingly more glamorous since living here. Do you feel that? Well, I think it's more my age and how long I've been doing comedy. I don't think it has to do with L.A. as much. I think that in New York, when I was first starting out in comedy, I thought that I had to not be like hot at all. I had to really just downplay my looks.

Like, I didn't want people to even, like, think of me being a girl. Yeah. And then I got confident. Yeah, just, I'm this nasty little thing telling jokes. I just wanted to focus on my jokes. We're going to this level. I want you guys. I'm getting serious, guys.

I do joke, though, that, like, in comedy, we're considered so much more good-looking. Oh, no, we're comedy tens. Like, we're the Kardashians of comedy. In the world, we have been beaten, left on the street. We're battered women. We have been battered. We've been left to die. We look like we've, in the regular, we look like we've been buried alive and clawed out.

We look like, shit. That's what I love. When I see some of the girls will start getting real successful and you can see them like really trying to go for the hottest girl in the room. It's like, just the hottest girl in the green room. Just go for the hottest girl in the green room. It's obtainable. We're there. We're there.

It's perfect. Are you in therapy? No, but I do like subconscious reprogramming. I do. I'm working on myself all day long. I do. hypnosis a bunch of shit yeah wow okay this I'm very intrigued by what kind of hypnosis are you doing and what are you trying to hypnotize yourself to do I well I can tell some of the things I've already

hypnotized myself to do I've hypnotized myself to make a lot of money I've hypnotized myself to quit smoking cigarettes I've hypnotized myself to have a lot of joy around my job I can hit my time I've just been like hypnotizing myself to everything I want you hypnotize other people I actually have I am this is my second round of taking a certification course yeah wow yeah yeah but I have I have haven't done it yet just because the first time I did it I wasn't able my schedule didn't allow me to be in all the classes so I was like I don't want to you're like I hypnotized too many shows yeah I was I was just selling so much merch you're getting sleepy by my merch don't you want cool sunglasses like me don't you want to learn how to make money dude people make hundreds of thousands of dollars with

these courses but a lot of them are bullshit in my opinion I listen I take a course that I've taken three times in a row. It's this guy, Jim Forden, he's got a transformational coaching program on TCP. Did someone introduce you to it? I found him on a podcast. You know, you hear all these people saying, it's all, like, it feels like similar things. Like, I go, oh, I've heard that before, but it's, it has to just be hit you in the right, at the right time from the right person, just, you know. Because when I'm depressed, I'll buy like 40 self-help books and then not read any of them and then like start feeling a little better. Well, do you have 80 day? Yes. You have something. Do you smoke weed?

No, I cry when I smoke weed. Because you have such a fun, like, pothead energy without doing smoking weed. That's the nicest thing anyone said. You know, it's funny? But I'm ADD too. All my friends love smoking weed, but I can't. Like, I'll ruin the party. Yeah.

But then people... Could you get panicky? Is that where you're crying? Full panicky. I think everyone thinks I'm dumb. Yeah. Wow. And it's quite a truth theorem sometimes.

I'm like, I'm going to be exposed for the idiot that I am. And, but I, like, snack a lot. And I giggle. Were you shitty in school? I was actually pretty good at school. You are? Okay. But it's because I was hyper-focused on, like, tennis?

Success. Yeah. Like, I, but things I'm not interested in, I couldn't focus. Where did the dumb thing come from? Where did you start to think you were dumb? Just because when I smoke weed, my, your brain starts moving so slow. But do you, are you worried about being exposed for being dumb to other people? I like, I like being considered, like, witty and funny.

And when I drink or smoke, I, like, can't keep up. I'm not like a big drinker I mean if we're like going out one night I can keep up with the best of them but you're not going to see me like casually drinking all the time I was just talking to my friend about this How did you turn this to dissecting me?

It's just I'm a hypnotist Sorry, continue I can't I I No I was just talking to my friend today about how because I quit drinking was it 13 years ago now

Congrats wow thanks I do drugs I quit drinking but I was thinking about I okay so with weed I go on and off with weed Where I'm like my life is like if I smoke like one joy My life is unmanageable Everything's a mess I can't Like everything's already a mess

Yeah So I think when I add weed to it It's like this is not like a drug Like I used to take Adderall prescribed To my mom But she mailed it It was cute Thank you mom

I was like it's here I just shake the package I'm just like, oh, the happiest route in the world. Everyone thinks I'm on Adderall now. I'm like another drug I maybe didn't need, you know? But it just, it's not like a productive drug for me. Like, I'm not someone that, like, really relaxes that much on it or anything. I just, like, want to smoke the most weed I can.

Then I go eat the most food I can. And then everything's just not where it's supposed to be that I'm tired the next day. I'm not as quick. So I'm trying to figure out a way to smoke weed. For some reason, I'm not ready to quit it because I love quitting things. Like, I love it feels good. It's fun. You're like, I'm a quitter.

I am. I come from a long line of quitters. But it feels like good. I like that accomplishment of like just being like, I don't drink coffee. It's like throwing something away today. So what are you currently on right now? What have you not quit? A little bit of weed.

A little bit of weed. That's kind of it. Okay. Pure Angel baby. I think I talked to my, I talked to like people on the phone. Like I talked to Bonnie McFarland probably all day long. Oh, she likes you. I love Bonnie.

She's the best, right? Yeah, we have some good stand hangs. Do you miss New York at all? I am going to New York this weekend, and I am fucking scared. It's not about the comedy or anything. Like, I'm excited to perform. It's like, I am so used to having my car be my giant purse. And, like, I'm like, I don't have to carry a backpack.

It's like, sweating in my backpack. I'd have, like, a change of clothes. I mean, I have, like, sweat everywhere, mud with my phone dies. So New York City heat is, like, heavy. It's just different. You feel it in your butt crack. Yeah. Here it's just, like, really bright, I feel like.

Yeah. And I'm just used to it here. You're just going to your air-conditioned Tesla. She manifested that while masturbating. Oh, who worked. I haven't talked about this. I'm burning in hell yet. So when you come, you think of something.

Yeah. Is this the joke we both did? Yes. But yours was, mine was Netflix and then I was like, but they, but I should have been more specific because I just got like free Netflix for my brother. Yeah. I said, I heard about it. And then I said, like, I want my dad to love me.

But that's like creepy. That's funny, though. But that's creepy. But it's funny. And then, but also, you already married a dad, a papa. I have a type, a zaddy, if you will say. So how often do you masturbate, what is it called? Manifestation.

Sorry, so many M's. If I remember, I'll do it. Just right at the end, just throw it in there, something. But I'm a big manifester at this point. Oh, I didn't bring it in. I have like a little journal. I do, I remember you kind of starting off in New York. I was like on the outskirts of comedy.

I was like, I was just creeping in. And I was like, who she's, I just want to watch. I just want to watch. I want to see you. I'm like, up the next. I'm taking notes. Annie was here. I will go there.

Oh, my God. So, wait, now I think you need a restraining order against me. I kind of like this bit. I do like it. Whenever I see you out, be like, oh, no. It's just sad we're done. She's literally here. You can't know you're married.

You can't fuck my boyfriend. I mean, who says? Do you have a boyfriend now? I do. Oh, my God. Who are. I love him. I want him to.

we went like ring shopping I'm choreographing the whole thing I know that's where I was like so standing your wedding I'm like before when I didn't want to get married it's like I didn't it wasn't that I didn't wasn't happy for people when they got married I just didn't give a fucking shit and I'm like oh my god let me see the like all that

yeah everything is bullshit did you not want to get married or you just didn't care I just never like imagined a wedding or anything when I was a kid like it just was never Are your parents together? Yeah oh drama oh no oh i like looking at my guys my i didn't draw my abs on when did the ab drawing begin

uh when we had to do a bikini episode on trash tuesday and i was like every time i know i have to do something that's like you're gonna be naked i just eat like five boxes of pizza i was like i'll just have all that i just ate the boxes too throw the cardboard down here i mean people contour spray tans all the time it's not that crazy yeah i get a little bit of one of my spray tans No, I'm going to do it till I die. I think it's iconic.

You can do like a crop top wedding dress with a little line in the middle. I do have to say you're going to feel a lot of toxic horrible feelings around your weight come wedding. And I don't want to trigger anyone. But like, it doesn't matter how skinny you are. People would be like, are you shutting for the wedding. And then people are convinced that like maybe you just had like a period stay. And they're like, is your uterine's shedding? Is your uter shutting?

They're like, if you take up the least amount of space on your wedding day, you're going to be perfect. And like, Des was like, I want you to lose your rest. okay don't lose so much weight and I didn't want it but then everyone's like you're gonna like perfect on the day so you're gonna get triggered like I haven't even had eating problems for a while honestly Hannah I think I'm just gonna look perfect on my wedding day it sucks for you but I think it's gonna work wait so when did you decide this guy was the guy you want to spend the rest of your my living your living my current life your current life um well we started dating before the pandemic Like he's younger than me. He's like 11 years younger than me. Really? Mm-hmm. I'm his does.

Uh-huh. And how far are you guys apart? 10? 15. 15. Oh my God. See, that's amazing. I dated older guys before and I was like, I was into it.

And then I dated this younger guy and I go, this is actually the direction. This is the direction I need to go because it was just. You can groom him. He's groomable. He's such a good boy. He's very like smart, wise. Like, he's just a good guy. guy like he just he's just there to like fucking have a good time he's just always laughing

is he sober too no but he doesn't have any problems oh what an angel he's just well adjusted to the world i'm not well adjusted but i'm like i have my other triggers besides drinking and des is sober so we work well together that's right i forgot who's so since 19 wait i forgot to display my purse this is the new product no it's it's it's it's louisive Oh, sorry, Louis Vuitton. Which is more expensive. Is Prada more expensive? It's Prada.

I don't know, but when... This is the new drop. When do you decide to spoil yourself? I just, like, I get a feeling. I just get a feeling where I'm like, today I want to feel really good. I go, if I walk into the Louis Vuitton shop, I have a rule that you are leaving buying something, so I'm not doing any window shopping because that's a pussy shit. That's a waste of time.

Yeah. And so... You let's minor league shit. Yeah. Well, honestly. this sounds weird but sometimes when I find myself in an area where I'm worrying about money I'm like I think I need to spend money that's like the abundance theory right have you heard of it money manifestation well yeah I mean it's all like intertwined and all this work I've been doing but it really does I feel good like I'm gonna be more confident I'm gonna be if I'm worrying about because the the flights have gone up the flights are very expensive yeah I mean the make money we have to spend more money I mean it is wild like I'm not I don't want to downgrade my first class

Once you go first You can't go first I'm so sorry You've got to get up to first It's great I mean I had it's better than you think And it's not that good Do you know what I mean?

No the problem is it's not that good But you can't go backwards You can't go back Coach should be what first is right now Like it's like it's just human decency To be in first class Like they treat you like animals in coach Yeah

And I just like it's fine it's fine I used to yeah but then you realize the seat doesn't even like cover your your thigh they're mean to you they're disgusted by you hate you they're so like this little smile that you get I will pay thousands and thousands of dollars for it I'm not waiting for an upgrade I'm paying for it good for you I waited for upgrades and then you're in a fucking middle seat in the back with the chickens yes yeah oh my god because sometimes your cheap ass is like we'll see what destiny does but then you have to say no I'm taking control my destiny. I had a chaotic flight over. I was on Delta one. Des had some points or some shit. That's the benefit of marriage. Zaddy. And I lost my shoe immediately. Like, you know, it just

falls in the hole and it was definitely like with the guy sleeping behind him. So like five minutes in, I lost my shoe. And then I, of course, I had to use the restroom. So I was like, I'm just barefooting it. So everyone's like this disgusting. So Britney Spears of you. People were like she's having a full meltdown. This is like 2001 Britney. This is good. I mean, no one, no one recognized me or anything, because I wasn't on Dumois for barefooting it. Have you been on Dumas? Someone on Dumas said, doesn't I broke up? That was fun.

Yeah, they make up things about, wild. Wild. So I went in the bathroom barefoot, and I just embraced it. It's like, it's like flattering, though, right? Well, part of me was like, I paid enough money. When we get, no, when we're in it, I'm like, that like to our pockets, I'm like, that's, right? Some trashy girls with a podcast did have something happen. In first class.

Yes. You said you're doing a lot of work on yourself. Can you give us a little like tidbit of advice that has helped you in terms of like I like this whole abundance theory thing. I like this trajectory of positivity. I lived in my car. Like I've been, I lived in my car. I know that very recently. And I knew it was weird.

Like I was like, this is weird. I used to be like to Rogan like, how? I was like, we have the same job. Why am I living in there and that's your 13th car? You're like, can I live in that one? But it was like, I was like, I was like, can I have one of your house cars? Can I have a house car? It's a car?

Okay, I thought it was a house. I get confused. I confuse them a lot. It's confusing. I've ADD. I realized it was me before I was willing to like figure it out. Like I just didn't have the tools. I didn't know where to go.

And I think a lot of it, like I was living a lot in victim mentality where I was thinking about like the outside world being unfair and I should have this or like comparing myself to other people. And then when you realize, like, if I really look at my life, I've gotten every motherfucking thing I wanted, I just didn't believe that I deserved money or for whatever reason. And it's like, that shit happens when you're like under seven years old. Yeah. Yeah. It's however your parents talked about money. My parents had like, it would be like, we don't have enough money. Here's 20 bucks. Like I, it was always like both. Like, oh, we're going to run out of money, but we have enough money, but we don't, but we don't. So then it was like, I don't know,

I just had the scarcity. Inconsistent. Yeah, where it was inconsistent. And then so my money was was inconsistent. I had one year where I was making like a bunch of money. I had a TV show, all this stuff. And then it was just gone. And then, you know, but I was doing that. And then I couldn't like, what was I doing to get that? And then now I just, I mean, it's the age old tale. It's all about gratitude. But it is. Like if I'm having it like, okay, so my, my week, I should a week, or a night at Flappers in Burbank and sold out the first show right away. And then the second one I was like should I have a show or not and then I was like are my going to sell tickets and then I was worrying about like the tickets I didn't sell and not celebrating the tickets I had sold

and then when I gave that up it was a great show it was pretty filled like it wasn't completely sold up but it was very fucking close and it was awesome you know and it was a really like the lens that you look at life I mean I hate to say the like glass half full but those people were fucking right we just laugh at it for so long yeah but it's yeah like two people could be sitting in the same situation of a show and one person is like this is my nightmare but also the comedy world is small how do you choose in our past life how did you choose who to fuck in comedy because that's your job you have your pickings i used to always this is another thing i used to always fuck down i always i had i was very scared people were going to say that i didn't earn what i got that i like fucked my

way to the top or whatever so you fuck guys that wouldn't give you up to down i fucked guys that could never that could really only hurt my career i walked outside theobon was like talking shit on me once i walked out of the fucking podcast or not of the comedy store they are and he was like yeah i was just telling them how you like have fucked people to get things i was like theo do you know me i was like i have only fucked people that have hurt my career like i literally i would implore you to tell me please tell me one person that's helped my career no whenever you don't even know the names of most the guys that i hooked up also i don't know that shit that much but all the girls i know who fucked comics it ends up hurting them yes it always ends up hurting you

yes and not because they're big okay comedy's small dickender absolutely not sometimes it's my dick actually one one yeah

we had who no no no because the rest was so bad the rest was like so rough I was like oh not worth it not worth the ride it is hard though because you start liking the comics

because they're funny yeah you're up late you're laughing you're up late you're laughing you got weird dopamine mean hits from the giggling. Yes, you understand the... And it literally is like a work crush. Like comedy, it looks kind of glamorous, but like you're seeing your same co-workers every

night. Yeah. And you start being like, do I want to fuck that guy? I feel like I'm so like, when I started dating Todd right before that, Sean Pulaski is a, she's a comic at the comedy store. She's like, she married this. This guy was way younger than her. I don't know where he's from.

He's from somewhere. He speaks Spanish. He's from somewhere. But she like got, she's like, she's like a comic for the gays, like she's so funny. But she is always surrounded by gay guys and then her like Hispanic young, sexy man. And she had saw me, she saw me with my last, like, I was dating a guy that we weren't, I mean, we had gym memberships to the same place. But we were not. You were married.

No, no, no, we weren't in a relationship. But I had to toothbrush your house for over here. It was a situation. Yeah, it was a situation. But it was like this, I like, it was like really fucking me. I wanted to get out of it. I couldn't get out of it. And Sean came up to me, she had seen it, and she was like,

you got to look me in the eye right now. She's like, Annie, I thought about you. I barely knew her. She's like, I thought about you the other day. She goes, no more fucking comics. No more. She's like, promise me. And I was like, no more.

I'm ready. I'm ready. And I was ready. I was ready. What does he do? Bonnie McFarland. Should we pick up? Yeah, say hi.

Bonnie, I'm on Hannah Burner's podcast. Say what's up. Hi, Bonnie. Say hello. Hi. Hi, Hannah Berner. Do you have any wise words for the people? Oh, yes, yes.

Do everything and buy everything these two have to say and sell. Oh, yes, that's great. Swipe up. Swipe up on the Louis Vuitton bag. I'm selling it for triple the amount because I wore it. It's been sweated on by me. Meanwhile, I'm sitting in a car outside of Walmart waiting for my husband. No, it's because your husband brings you down.

It's not because of you, okay? You should own that Walmart, bitch. You should own the Walmart. Leave him right now. You can get away right now. I feel like I've been kidnapped on his errands run. Her husband at least has a house in the hamptown. Bonnie and I love an older distinguished man.

That's true. Well, yes, but I didn't marry the distinguished part. The extinguished. I looks like he was in a boy band 35 years ago. Did they let Jews have boy bands? I didn't know that. He does look like he has drugs on him Like pre-packaged drugs

Ready to go Just Molly Fettinollies He looks like he just got out of prison And he doesn't know how iPhones work You look like his hot lawyer You look like his hot lawyer True

She's his Camille Vaskins She's always wearing like shoulder pads And like one time Bonnie came up to me At the comedy store and she was like She went oh my god Shoulder pads that's hilarious And it was just my broad shoulders it was just my masculine

squared out she was like that's so funny and then I went oh he had your bra and just grabbed her tits oh first of all I was impressed by those shows you were so embarrassed I mean she was backing

lineman down she was she was backing away from that for so long I know because I didn't want to get hit the only other time no I'll fucking throw a shoulder I'll knock you across the fucking hallway You were outside the OR. You were about to be inside the fucking main room, okay?

She also, do you remember when you called me a psychopath recently? I, again, I was being flattering. She's like, you're like a psychopath. I was like, oh, oh, cool. You just like one. Cool. I just meant that you. Someone needs to be honest with you.

She is the person I talked to the most, aside for my boyfriend. My point was that you're going to make it You know what I mean I know we've already made it Bonnie Renee Bonnie Brown All right I love you I'll call you after you I love you guys

You're the best Have fun without me Have fun at Walmart Oh my God I love this friendship Oh yeah she's my bestie I love it How long have you been close with her

We were I met her in Montreal I guess I met her maybe a little bit Before Montreal I think I like hit her up on Instagram or on Twitter back in the day I was like you're the best do you like me I know because I was scared of Bonnie at first too

because I wanted her to like me so bad I just made her I don't I when I have that feeling about someone I just I go in I just go when I first started mics there were all these guys that were like the top dogs of the mics and they were really mean to everyone and stuff

so I just was like guess who is going to be my friend like I cornered them I was like now you're stuck with me I'm like you think you know what to do then tell me what to do and I just like beat them at however many mics we went to and stuff And this was New York City, right? That was in New York. People don't talk about how not easy it is to start,

especially as a girl who might not have the money for Ubers, to be doing these late night spots at bars all over the place. I used to be, there was a place Lucky Jax in Lower East Side, and they had a music open mic, and the guy, Sasha, that ran it was like, fucking crazy. And if he was just kind of mad at you or like, he would like make you think you're going up, then you wouldn't. But we would like, it was just such a weird guy.

He liked me, though. I'm good with weird guys. Same. Same. We had something in common. And so then we would go, so Mike Lawrence and I, who is a comic who's like more of a writer now, but I think he's going back to stand-up. He was like the toughest guy at mics, and I made him be my friend. And then, so we would go to Lucky Jacks.

And it was like music and poetry and stuff. So it was a good mic because it wasn't just people like sick of hearing jokes. So you could really like smash. And we would just like sleep. on our backpacks and like take naps in the back and be doing like spots at like two in the morning for like a five minutes set. Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year? I wouldn't say anything is a failure, especially because we all grow every day. Obviously the goal is a championship. That's, there's no doubt in that

and that's the goal. We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball

plus exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted. But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way and we're hoping to, you know, make it run. So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year? I wouldn't say anything as a failure, especially because we all grow every day. Obviously, the goal is a championship. There's no doubt in that, and that's the goal.

We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMPA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted. But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way and we're hoping to, you know, make it wrong.

So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHart Women Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Why do you think you're able to feel so comfortable in like a male-dominated space? I have brothers. I have brothers. I've always been. My mom's always had short hair. My dad's like the most feminine thing around.

Really? I mean, more than my mom. My mom was like Yeah, yeah Well, you had a strong mother figure My mom was like I don't get Barbies She's like

Why are you playing with Bart? I don't get it Let's go kick a ball around Like mom, you're just adopted You're so full of shit I don't even believe her I'm like you know you like pink So how's your

How's your depression? What is the levels right now? Are you a depression girl An anxiety girl or both? I think I have anxiety I don't even notice I'm having I mean I have TMJ depression doesn't nothing really sticks oh yeah what's going on with the TMJ is that from clenching

grinding um it's well okay so I went to this doctor this dentist he did a CT scan he looked at my whole head my whole jaw I know those they had to panorama this is a big one wow we got a biggie guys clear the room they put two machines together I was like clink clink clink clink clink clink um but so he says because I started getting TMJ when I was around 12, maybe earlier. Oh. And so they, well, TMJ is the joint, but I started getting the disorder. TMJD is the problem.

But so it's a, your jaw gets out of place for whatever reason. Yeah. Then the disc is out of place. And the disc is hitting the, that's what the snap, the crack is the disc. Right? But it seems like, can't you just, I did have a boyfriend. I mean, you know. You look at me.

They're far and few between at this point. I'm in love. I'm not trying to prove anything. Yeah, you don't have to prove yourself. It's just to say it's been my boyfriend's birthday for a couple weeks. Still your birthday. It still counts. I'll get to it.

I'll get to it. Oh, I do need to just blow my man. I love my man. Yeah, a little bit. But so, okay, so he said that something happened to me when I was like 11 or 12 that, and I was in a car accident, so I think maybe the whiplash did something. Yeah. That injured my TMJ.

He said it was actually on this side. And then this side, my brain is always trying to protect this. So then the clenching, I'm never able to heal this. And I'm dominating on this side. Have you heard of Masseteer Botox? Yes. Have you gotten it? No, but I have like...

I don't want to change my shape. Yeah, I just want to like not clench and stop getting headaches from... I'll be like, you ever just stop clenching for a second? And you're like, oh my God. Yeah, what was I doing? Why was I doing that for two hours? Sometimes I'll wake up and go like... Yeah, or I'll wake up in the morning.

So that's my own problem But I don't want my jawline to change I just don't want to be able to clinch And then once we start Then it's like when do we stop? Okay question How much has how many What are you doing to your face?

Have you done injections and stuff? Yeah And I'm getting close up so you guys can see You look gorgeous So you know I'm not faking bitching I earned everything Wait so I don't believe that Livy in LA, you haven't had one friend who's like, oh, come with me and let's get Botox.

I just never was interested. I was like, I'm going to just see how long I can go before. I'm not insecure on my face. I think prefinitive Botox is bullshit. I think it's just getting kids in early. I mean, I think it is. And if they wanted to do it, but I just, my mom was being such a butch woman. She's a lovely beautiful lady, but she's just been trying to show the dudes.

My mom was like the only girl on the racquetball. We love. Okay. I'm obsessed with her. As a tennie. Yes. Would you ever show me how to play tennis? Are you over it?

I love teaching tennis. It's like my favorite thing. I mean, I'm going to be tough with you. I'm like, Letterman, bend your knees. Because I'm not, I'm not, I don't, I didn't, you know, sometimes you just do a sport. You naturally are like, this is my sport. Yeah. I think I could get good at it.

I just have no. It's also such a great workout because it's like short sprints. And you work everybody. It's so cute. And you don't feel like you're playing a sport because you're so focused on making contact. Literally stunning. Making content. Also, you're so.

so focused on making content. I'm like, I'm higher, babe, I'm just playing with myself. Up higher, I'm playing with the machine. My Instagram friend did ask me for a lesson once, and the whole time I just tossed balls while she tried to get a photo of it making contact. And we nailed it. You do kind of look like Naomi Campbell. The spray tan's too deep.

There's another way to say. There's another way to say it. There's another way to say it. The spray tan's gone too far. I understand. I've been there. We've done it. Not Naomi Campbell.

Let me just say, when I went on my family vacation two weeks ago, I looked like the Jamaican nanny and all the pictures. Like, it was, like, crazy. You look like Naomi Watts. Naomi Watts. You know, my old crush used to be, my guy used to be Leves Schreiber. Oh, he's hot. I had a thing for him. Then I dated a guy that looked like a cartoonish, kind of fucked up version of him, and then I don't like him anymore.

Look, I'm starting to talk like you. We can't hang out. I'm doing your bits tonight. It's weird crazy. She steals my jokes, my men I don't know if you guys know this wonderful show But are we hacks? Are we hacks? Why do we The same jokes? Oh, are we hacks? Yeah

No, no, no. I don't feel like a hack. I don't I feel like We're just two genuses. We're brilliant. We're brilliant geniuses It's so funny the guys in the jokes. We, there has to be some I think we are similar. Yeah. And there's a reason why we do similar jokes. We talk fast. We talk with ADD. We're gorgeous. We're gorgeous. Comedian? Gorgeous. Listen, as comics, the hottest girls in the world I personally

Don't pull dick if we're regular Absolutely You know what? We do thin the line of like So hot and so disgusting I'm glad you said thin too Because people don't usually say that that much about us But we finish We're thick, T-H-I-CC

We're thick in the right way You are skinny I did realize that you are I literally just took a massive poop That's why Colonics What is the I'm scared

I'm not telling you to do it Because I don't know if it's good for your body or not, they take the shit out of your body for you. It's like having to take your shit for you. It's like rich people shit? Yeah.

That's what rich people do now to shit. You pay people. I had to get it. I froze my eggs. I froze my embryos. I got Todd and I have embryos together, which is crazy. I was like, we should get married.

We have embryos together. Wow. So froze my eggs because we're in the opposite. I have to wait for him to be old enough for kids. Des is just hanging on. Does got his cane. He's like, just before I died

I want to have one kid Are you going to have kids soon? I think we will I took plan B the night After my wedding Because I realized I like Completely fucked my birth control That week

You know when you're just like Like I'm busy I'm busy All these people are calling me fat I know I'll miss like three days I'll take four And just like assume I'm on track

And I was like babe We're gonna get pregnant And we went to CVS that morning That was our honeymoon No I do want to have kids but I do also get scared like I just start to get a little momentum in comedy yes and then you're like oh no not that women can't have it all but saying women can have it all it's so toxic like no one can have it all you need help well people be like

have a kid now I'm like right now when it's the best they're projecting their shit on to you yeah and it's the best right now yeah and I'm a kid yeah like I'm a baby me too we're just like little tiny babies are you ready to play a final game Seven Deadly Sins What are you greedy about? I'm learning to be greedy because the thing, my verbal abuse as a child was that I was selfish.

So then I've always been afraid of being selfish. Oh, you were accused of being selfish. Yes, as a child. Daddy. Daddy got nice, though, but daddy was mean. Oh, no. Selfish cut. Well, no, I'm just, it's interesting to hear what people project onto their kids sometimes

that then they, like, can work. Right, totally, because he was feeling selfish or whatever. Yeah. But also, as women, we are so automatically trained to be caretakers. So, like, then you just have no, like, empathy for yourself. Do you think we're trained or do you think it's, like, animal instinct? I don't think it's animal instinct because I hate cleaning. I don't like taking care of people.

I don't clean. My boyfriend does everything. 90-10, we have a deal. Yeah, I don't think. I just, I think it's purely societal. I think, also because we're strong. We have broad-shoulders. We would be the hunters.

I would not be a gatherer. Broad-shoulder. not a gatherer bitch yes i'm not gathering but i could like if i have to but i would prefer i feel like i'm much better at like i feel like gender is socially constructed and if i had to hunt i could hunt if not i can not i think we're more in sputum i i i feel like i i do kind of let's shave her fucking head let's fucking do it or our assholes whatever's more important my thing is i love being like oh i'm a i'm a woman who can do this stuff but i don't like like to be stereotyped with stereotypical feminine qualities because I think those are made up.

It is weird. Like I don't want to be like, look, I, like, you don't want to go like, I want to be the funniest female comedian. You know, you don't want to like say those things. But when people do it to me, I don't, you know, that used to like offend me. Like, when people would be like, oh, you're like so, like, you're one of the only girls that makes me like, it used to piss me off and I just take a comic. Female comic. Female comic. Female comic. It's never just a comic. Yeah. Or, like, I, I, I, just like, Jessica Kirsten on who I fucking love. But like, all you hear is the guys being like you're not like oh they're female comics and you're just like

oh it's so toxic to say and she hates it but um what is that that's she's not like because she doesn't partake in the peen no but they're always like all you do is talk about this or that and it's like why are you why do you have a lens over women like why are you paying attention to what we're talking about in a group like I don't look at go all guys talk about or I don't just don't do that yeah I don't look at all guys

and go all guys or all guys also making fun of dicks is very funny yes they could do it they do do it and like we make jokes about birth control who were you envious of I was just talking to my hypnotist about this I actually don't I have a a coach like a transformational coach who's Jim Fortin who I do his course he was saying to me he's like he always is like trying to use someone as like a point of reference like hey where do you want to be and I it's like I really can't think I guess like because I do feel unique I don't have any specific thing like I would love to have like Joe Rogan money mm-hmm I'd love to have so much money

that it's like you never like there's no worry but I also feel like you're definitely not doing this for the money no but now that I'm starting to make it I'm like you're like this feels nice yeah it's the more is really fun yeah I actually have trouble spending because I because of the self-hate you're just like I'll work work work work work work and then next thing you know I'm like oh I have extra cash but I don't think oh let's spoil myself with it I'm like oh no that's bad doing something good for yourself that's bad yeah but I'm now recently forcing myself to be like invest in having a nice apartment yeah and because that actually adds to yeah it affects the energy of everything I used to live literally live in apartments that look like a hospital room I also lived in shitty

apartments and I think it was I think it helped me with the comedy with the hustle of comedy because I didn't have like a comfortable place to be so I always was out yeah and then now I'm like all right I figured out comedy so now I'm like I want a place to chill Yes Yes So where it could be like

your oasis But yeah I feel like The thing that Jim Fortin said that I really liked was Um Or one of the money

courses I took was like If you look at comedy Or if you look at money Like you're in a relationship with it If you're like Holding it tight And not wanting to let it go What's that gonna do?

It's gonna run from you And think you're a fucking psycho And if you're like You're not enough I want more You're not enough That's like, would be rude to say to a partner. Wow.

Yeah. And I also feel like all those things is also equal to how you speak to yourself day today. Wow. Yeah, self-talk is huge. I have to, like, I really have to, like, retrain myself in different areas. But I have, right now I have a mantra I'm working on, which is like, or a new belief that I'm putting into my subconscious through hypnosis.

But what I do during the day is whenever I start to get, like, any sort of panic or upset I just go I go stop it and then I go everything is easy and fun everything is easy and fun oh wow and then I can get out of it that kind of reminds me of like being a kid when you're just like she's a bitch I'm like you know like the bait like for preschoolers that kind of stuff no but it's like you're just like running around the playground yeah that kind of bliss but it is like everything is easy and fun yeah everything is made up like when we die this is my guess from all the hallucinogens I've done yeah when we die we like fizzle out to it. light and I feel like we're going to feel like oh we did have everything we want like that wow

do you feel like there's a next chapter to our being yeah I think that well I think that we're all like light energy and that it just kind of like remanifest oh we're gonna morph into one in our afterlife well we've certainly what do you glutton us about what do you overindulge in um I talk on the phone a lot I do find that talking the phone is fun but it can like suck a lot of energy. Your entire day. You're so right. Like I'll be like I'll have two hours. The next thing you know you call your mom, your boyfriend. Yep. And maybe one friends. Or same stories and jokes too. Same stories. Confusing you because I've heard three different opinions. I'll go, I have heard this story so many times.

So you not get tired because all we do is talk. Like we'll podcast all day. My jaw is falling apart. I have severe pain in my jaw at all times. Yes. I. We podcast. We talk in the phone all day and then we do sets at night. Well, that's why I can't I can't smoke weed too much because my, I can't, like, jeopardize my throat. Like, Tim Dillan smoke. I'm like, what are you doing? I know how. It's your instrument.

It's your fucking instrument. You also were on Girl Code, which is pretty cool. But I, okay, love doing Girl Code. It was with Jessie Mae yesterday. We were, like, laughing about how they wouldn't have, once she stopped doing Girl Code, they had, they cast me. Like, they would never have us at the same time. Two blondes?

They're like, people can't tell the difference. I'm like, they're going to go the blonde with the tits and the blonde without the tits. They're going to know. They're going to know. They're going to know. They're good of know. Guys are pretty good at knowing the difference. Also, like, what?

You could dye your hair? Like. But we were on a pilot together for Eamie and Jesse May, and they made me cut and dye my hair brown. I was so pissed. And she didn't have to? She got to be the blonde. Wow. That would never have to.

Did you pull off the look? It was fine. The pilot didn't get picked up, so I guess not. They're like, it's crazy. But I would never, like, allow that. I would be like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. I'm like, if you want to try to get someone up.

else to die there are you can but that's how that's how women get pitted against each other you think a guy a white guy with brown hair on a lineup has ever felt that no I know and it's so weird but also okay with the girl stuff I do acknowledge that there's different stuff going on but I always try to like because Bonnie and I'll start talking about stuff and then I'm like once I start thinking about it I then start seeing it everywhere yes and then it's like I just want to like operate outside of perspective yes perspective even though it's a thing that's real I just don't want to like notice that I always wait To the last minute to claim the girl being the issue. You don't know what I mean? Being like, they're girling me. Like, but you sometimes you are being girled. Yes. Or it's like you just accept that you're always being girled and you just don't react to it. It just has nothing.

It has nothing. It doesn't affect you. And I also think now we're in a part where like the gatekeepers are not just the men. Like we're powerful with our own podcasts and our collaborations. Nobody's gatekeepers anymore. Gatekeepers aren't like have no power. Exactly. Because of social media and shit.

I'm like, I'm the fucking gay people. I'm keeping my own gate. Yeah. I'm not keeping my own garden though guys It's a mess It's a mess, okay Let's just say the gate has some She's blooming for summer

The gate has some vines Have you stopped the upkeep or you Do you feel still like I gotta be like I keep the upkeep because I'm so sweaty Yeah And I just do you have laser I did laser for a bit because I had horrible ingrones Right yes me too

And they really helped Ingrowns are real They're fucking real And people need to talk about it more And they really helped But you stop it They're kind of shave. I still do.

But I have, I'm apparently an ideal candidate because I have pale skin, dark hair. So don't be jelly. I think I do, too. We have a lot in color. Should we see if we have the same pussy? Is yours? Is yours? Like uneven?

Like a little uneven? Yeah, of course. I wouldn't say a little. Mine's like quite uneven. I wouldn't say it's like hyling. one's a little slow let's just say one's lagging one seems like it's has a lazy eye yeah one's been hanging for a while one's seen some shit one's yeah one's seen the sun one's working out one's let itself go um when was last time you let your ego get in the way of something are you working

on your ego i am working on my ego but i sometimes i don't know because i think sometimes me work on my ego holds me back too where I'm worried about I think because I was called selfish when I was little and that's sort of my thing yeah that then I'm like oh I don't want to be so but then you end up being like more selfish when you're worrying about being selfish you're like still thinking about yourself all the time but so there are things I want you know like I did go get my fucking Louis Vuitton like I was like I want that and I think that you know that's not even that's not selfish things are a little bit that's not selfish I mean you could be like you could have put that towards charity if you look at that perspective and listen and when i do sell it for quadruple the price are you sell it

not yet but i will but it is an annie letterman edition yes so it's extra yes um by the way you know karen fiehan does only fans yes and she's like killing it yeah but it's given her the ability to like do what she wants to do you know what i don't ever want to do my merch um i feel like this is a kbc commercial He's like leaving I mean he's amazing He's like I have a family He's like I have a family He's like my wife was pregnant

She's not given birth When was the last time? My kid is pregnant I'm now a teen father Who is when was last time you lusted over someone So who's your celebrity crush? It was Leif Shriver Yeah

Then I heard a bad word about him Oh I just heard he was like not nice And I was like I've never met an actor Like actors anyone I admire I never really want to fuck them because I know how it works like I don't have that like fuck girl confidence where it's like oh I feel like if someone I respected if I went and like banged them like went got backstage and bang them like I look at that as like a lose yeah I feel like just used and abused yeah and maybe you can spin it to where you're the one they marry or whatever I just never felt that way or like that's what I wanted to do like I I always kind of admire people and I would rather be like them I'm also like a A dolly Parton would be someone I admire.

Ooh, I love that. A Dolly Parton, just a woman who's a share, you know. Iconic. Yeah. Have you seen J-Lo's documentary? Loved it. Did you watch Gagas from 2017? So fucking good.

I love her tits were just out in front of all our employees. I love it. I'm always like NDAs because I'm like, is this sexual arrestment? My tits are just slapping them in the face. They can't slap. They're just sitting there quietly. Would you get a boob job? Mm-mm.

But the more money I get, the more I understand them. why people would get it well you just go oh why not I could just do it it's like yeah it there's a lot of work that comes I don't want but I don't admin I actually really like my I like when you say a lot of admin that's funny yeah I do I like um you stealing that stealing oh have you said that before no I can't imagine I actually have it written in my notes I it's from today I'm like I actually have admin I'm just showing you admin it on my phone on my Facebook it says admin final question what advice do you give to the little devils our listeners on how to cope with your hell when you're going through it when it's so fucking dark what do you do you got to understand that you are

just a person okay having the feelings you're not you the depression is not yours the bad thoughts are not yours they're just thoughts that you're having that are temporarily running through you so i do yeah i try to just refocus You got to listen, listen to Jim Fortin's podcast, listen to Mary Lou Rodriguez. How often do you talk to him? Well, I take his program, so all of his podcasts, I'm listening to him almost all the time. And then Mary Lou Rodriguez. And it's not a cult.

It's not, I mean, what's a cult? I don't have to do anything. It doesn't make me do anything. I just really like the teachings. But you don't talk to your friends or family anymore. Anyone that hates him, I hate. Anyone that says no way. Would you kill for him?

I would murder for him. No, no, no, it's great. I think it's really cool. It's like, um, he's got, like, this podcast is very accessible. It's just interesting stuff and. No, I'm definitely going to look into it. It just really helped me, like. But it's great that you were like, I do not fully understand always what's going on in my brain.

I want to talk to someone who can help guide me a little bit. And you feel less alone. And listen to it and just because it's a lot of its habits and it's like things going on in our brain. It's not like, it's not ours because I had a lot of traumatic things happened to me when I was younger. and I would think about it all the time I had this thing happen to me in high school with my teacher I had to go to court this whole thing and let's just say Jackson tall at the back of my leg

but who hasn't really you know but I'd go to court I love how you save this for the end how to go to court all this stuff but I would think about that all the time and I was kind of like living in that moment so I was like this I was like frozen at 15 or 16 you know just like

Oh yeah Frozen at that age and I was thinking about it There's a white guy with dread, so I always imagined, like, I have been, like, dragging. I would think about it all the time and take it on and, like, this is who I am. I'm this person that was, like, molested by their teacher and all this stuff. And I would, like, drag, I was, like, dragging this, like, white-haired dreaded guy, white-skinned dreaded guy into my life every, like, stage of my life. And then I just was, like, decided to drop it. Like, it's not mine.

It's just a thing that happened back in the day. And I'm glad it happened because I was always thinking, like, what is the reason this happened? Because it was just so much stuff to deal with when I was so young. And then now I'm doing all these jokes about it. I have all my molesteds coming out. Come see me, girls, boys. Obsessed. All these.

I love, like, I'm talking to people about all their, like, they're little, like, anyone that has a little deformity. If I sign everyone's webbed toes, I sign fucking lobster hands. Like, it's just like. Well, you were put on this earth and, like, you can speak on that stuff for whatever reason. And, like, that's your voice that other people don't have. And I love that. I'm, like, so excited to be doing it. It feels so good. And I just don't hold on to the bad stuff.

And, you know, sometimes I go into fight or flight or whatever. Yeah. But I have tools to get out of that. I love that so much, especially because you can, your hate towards someone or that pain, you can, you, it only hurts you at some point. I don't have any, like, it's weird. It's like, obviously, that's a bad guy. That's not, like, a good guy. But I don't feel attached to him.

I don't feel like anything. Yeah. Annie, you're incredible. You've done amazing in hell. Where can people follow you, watch you? I mean, you can just look at my Instagram. It's pretty similar. Yeah, you don't really need to follow both of us.

If you follow me on follow her. I'm just, you're going to have to mix sides. You can find me on Instagram. It's my name, A-N-N-I-E-L-E-R-M-N. Same with on TikTok. I just joined TikTok. Give me the love on TikTok. I'm having a good time.

We're figuring it out, baby steps. Um, Twitter is the thing still? Kind of. If... Go to my website. You can get my sunglasses. This is my Annie Letterman merch. It says Annie fucking Letterman on the side.

That's so cute. Oh my God. This is so cute. And then, uh, come see me live. All my dates are up. When does this come out? You don't know. Wednesday?

Wednesday. Come see me in West Nyack, baby. I'm going to be there Friday and Saturday. Levity. Levity live, baby. Come, the meeting greets are wild. Come take pictures. Come get one of my shirts.

What are you doing during the meet and greets? I would just hang it's like a lot of teachers I said well you know it's my merch and stuff but I talk to everyone it's long yeah they're long wow it's very fun okay guys thank you so much we love you bye bye guys