Berner Phone - Berner Phone #117: Live Call-Ins

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

We took a risk and tried live call-ins for the first time in Berner Phone history. The only reason we pulled off the admin is because Hannah wasn't involved. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des's shows

Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the Burner Phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Burner Phone. Some people say they always know it's just me because my voice is different immediately, but it's just me. But this is an exciting week on Burner Phone because we may or may not be making history today. I was going to say tonight, but it's today.

Because if it works at 5 p.m. Irish time, 12 p.m., Eastern Standard Time, I'm going to try some live callings. I'm using the Riverside app. Have no idea if it's going to work. I'm still recording this episode with some podcast recommendations. But it may be an extra long app because we may have a whole extra thing. Now, if it's not there at the end of this episode, you will know that my experiment was an abject failure. And if that does happen, I sincerely apologize.

I really want it to work, and I will get it to work long term. But if you don't hear this at the end, it was a failure. I'm recording this first, so I don't know yet. But in the meantime, you guys messaged in with some great podcast recommendations, which I really appreciate because it was almost like a favorite to me, but I picked like a nice spectrum of topics. Also great feedback from last week's episode

on the Spotify comments, which were, they were lit up this week. So we appreciate that. Since we're at the beginning of the episode, can I just say that I just posted on my Instagram a ton of new shows? I mean, I have a lot of new shows now. West Nyack, New York, Buffalo, San Jose, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington, D.C.

I already told you about Toronto, Portland, Seattle, L.A., San Diego. I got a Texas run, Austin, Dallas, Houston. There's more that I'm not thinking about right now, but they're all up there. Hannah has all her dates on her website. She's tour in the country. She just finished a weekend in Texas herself. I'm currently in Ireland for another 12 days. I just got here yesterday morning.

So this is being broadcast live from my house in Rialto. If you hear passing traffic, I apologize. That is the passing traffic of the South Circular Road on an Irish Sunday afternoon. Ireland currently losing 2 to 1 in a very important World Cup qualifying match in soccer, football and so that's a little annoying but they had an incredible win earlier in the week against Portugal

which you may or may not be aware of but this is not a sports podcast particularly European sports but anyway that's what's going on I have a ton of Irish shows too they're all sold out except for Trim County Meath next Saturday so very exciting

anyway thanks to the birthday wishes for those dialers that sent them to me 50 now, that's it. Magic moment over Hannah and I went for an incredible three-star Michelin dinner, which was my request. I didn't want a party, didn't want a surprise. Not a big fan of surprise parties, you know,

because, you know, the surprises just keep on coming with surprise parties. Who got invited? Who did I not want there? And then afterwards, the people that are upset that they didn't get invited, you know, but it's like, yo, why are you made at me? I was not involved, you know?

So avoided all that drama. curious actually what are people's thoughts on surprise parties because you know it's just it's just one of those things that like really can go either way anyway listen i'm not antisocial but like i'm not a big party guy i'm not like big into like big groups like by the way i don't mean like i get anxiety around big groups but just like i just want to have the crack with the people that i want to have the crack with when you get into like a big group then it just becomes like like a job talking everybody. I don't mind going to parties

because then it's not my responsibility to talk to everybody. But when you're hosting a party, you have to talk to everybody. It's like a, it's literally like an occupation. So anyway, when I'm in control, I'd rather not have a party.

Hannah and I had the most amazing Korean food. I mean, honestly, that is my, I now officially know at the age of 50. It's not the first, I'm Hannah and I have gone for a fancy tasting menu dinner. But at the age of 50, I can honestly say

that one of my top three things to do is to go for a high-end tasting menu. Just incredible flavors. I might as well give them a shout out. It was Yung-Sik in Tribeca. And awesome. And great atmosphere, really comfortable, and also incredible service. Shout out to all the servers. we did a non-alcoholic pairing, which you know, you would think like, what's the point of these stupid pairings? You get a little weird fermented drinks, but actually they were incredible.

I think I'm going to need to get into like non-alcoholic fermented drinks. I'm kind of won over, you know, especially the ones that you can put in like a big wine glass and feel fancy. So shout out to the, the pairing guy I don't know if he's just the non-alcohol pairing guy

or if he's also the sommelier but he was incredible gave a story behind everyone turns out the Scandinavians are big into non-alcoholic pairs shout out to the Scandinavians for their investment in fermented like insane stuff like this guy

incredible information on the different things and then like one of the non-alcoholic parents they like they put like a drop of sesame me oil in it. I was like, what do you do? Why are you ruining that? And then you mix it together. And whatever the hell it was, I can't even remember. It was like this smooth, kind of like creamy drink that was like the nicest thing I've ever had. And perfectly paired with whatever dish that one was paired with. And like, there was a time in my life where I would have dismissed all this stuff as absolute nonsense. But either my mind has matured

or my palate has matured or both. But now I'm like so into it. So incredible 50th, it comes and goes. So now I'm in my 50s. All right? If this is halfway through my life, I have to live to 100, which I just don't think is happening. So I am on the home stretch. You know what, honestly?

Not to depress you all, but I think I'm in the final third. How about that? I think I'm in the final third. Jesus, Christmas, I can't believe it. I mean, I've had a full life, but let's let's let's let's let's let's bring this final third into high gear let's let's take it to the next level not exactly sure what what that's going to be but let's take it to the next level anyway guys by the way recommendations since we're

talking about podcasts my stupid podcast obsessions are when I find a show that I love like severance I then love listening to the podcasts so I love task I was really enjoying watching task recently, so then I was really enjoying watching Task Recaps. But now my new show is Pluribus, Apple TV, three episodes, and the first two episodes were incredible. I really enjoyed episode three, but I see some people already complaining about episode three, but we're world-building. And, uh, anyway, by the maker, Vince Gilligan, make her break in bed. So my top recap parts that I like, like, if you're into like, listening to recaps of shows that you're watching.

I'm not saying these guys do all the shows, but my three favorite are the podcast done by a duo called Bold Move, B-A-L-D-M-O-V-E, a crowd called B-Gentgetown podcast, but their Apple TV pods are in a section called The Core, which is, you know, Apple TV, but like Apple TV has like a bit of a side,

sci-fi vibe. So, like, they do, like, Severance, Silo, now Plurvis, love those shows. They do like Foundation, too, but I lost my patience with Foundation. But anyway, a bald move, Binge Town. And my new one, which is, I just discovered recently, which is, I think it's oysters and clams. Let me just double check, because I don't, I want to give these guys a proper shout out, because I've been really enjoying them. And now I'm understanding that this is really like, this is bad for business. Podcasts, uh,

record oysters, clams and cockles, a live, a live-o. Oysters, clams and cockles. Um, really good also. But I'm recommending podcasts while on a podcast, you know,

telling people to go listen to other podcasts. But here's the thing. I'm so often I'm driving on long journeys. And I like, I've gone through all my regs. And then, you just, it's so hard to find a good pod. So let's get into it, guys.

We've got a lot of recommendations. And then hopefully, we'll be going live after this. You know, that, that'll be really exciting. That has no theme. I want to play this first, because this is one that always shows up, and I've never had the heart to click on it myself. So I'm willing to listen to the wreck. Because it's so much easier.

I've always try and keep it open on my safari, but I always close it. Anyways, I'm pretty sure I'm too late for this prompt, but some good podcast to listen to are two hot takes and crime junkie podcast. However, I will say I did have to stop listening to Crime Junkie. I haven't listened in a while because I have OCD and I started to get really paranoid. And I actually gave myself like neck and shoulder issues because I was always looking over my shoulder. I used to listen to it on my walks. and that's how I started listening to Burning in Hell, which is now burn or phone.

So, yeah, Two Hot Takes and Crime Junkies, great podcast to listen to. Yeah, so, you know, I see that Too Hot Takes Clips sometimes, but the crime junkie part of this recommendation was what got me because I'm always getting recommended crime junkie, and I don't know why, but I have always resisted clicking it, and I don't know why. But actually, even though it's kind of fucked up, the fact that our friend here has said that she had stopped listening to it because she's OCD and it actually caused her like extreme paranoia, I want to listen to it now. Which I think she knows that that's like kind of helping the recommendation, even though I'm upset that that happened to you. But that is like, that that's a podcast that obviously gets in your, gets into you.

And I like that. Because I, like, not that it's a horror pod, but I like horrors. I like being scared. I like getting freaked out, you know? So, it sounds awesome to me. I, you know, I enjoy crime stories, but I guess I got a bit, like, it's a bit of oversaturation. Like, I almost feel like there's been such a true crime explosion that, like, it kind of

eats itself, you know? And also, don't get me wrong, I don't know who's doing crime junkie, but like, there's just like a lot of unqualified people, you know, talking about crime. And don't get me wrong, like, all that stuff is fun, but I don't know, man, it's just, there is, I guess there's a small part of me, maybe because I'm from Queens and I just grew up around a lot of cops. And not just, not because the cops are often the bad guys in these things, by the way. This is not where it's coming from.

but I don't know I guess sometimes I just not wild about the commodification of crime as entertainment you know but I'm going to contradict myself and say I'm going to listen to a crime junkie

and I have enjoyed them but I did kind of I did kind of go off a lot of the true crime stuff just because it was like I don't know it became like a bit of a formula you know and there was some about it then. But also, honestly, the serial killer ones are kind of the best ones. And like, there's just no new serial killer. So we just kind of ran out of people to talk about.

So anyway, that's just me. I know, listen, I know I'm not going to get support. If Hannah was here now, she'd be shitting all over me because she can't get enough of it. You know, there's not a crime documentary that she can't dive into. Shout out, by the way, to whoever's in the Spotify comments, recommending The Keepers on Netflix, which has been around for quite a while, but really into that at the time. And I think Hannah, it was a recommendation for Hannah, but I think Hannah has watched it, but

I mean, I can't get enough of a of a true crime that has sort of church corruption involved. I mean, you're really, you're really singing off my hymn sheet there. So, uh, shout out to the Keepers. Shout out to the Spotify commenter. Let's keep going because I don't want to talk too much.

There's a lot of great recommendations here. And it's really just about the, about the wrecks. So let's get you guys some wrecks. So after this episode, and never when you're listening to Burnaphone, you can check these guys out. Let's go, well, let's keep on the theme. Let's go with a Bible pod. Hey, Mom and Dad. Okay, I'm going to fire off recommendations. First, the Great Adventure Bible. It is the Bible written in chronological order, which makes it 10 times easier to follow. It's color coded. It has charts and maps. and it also connects to an app called Hallow, H-A-L-O-W, I believe.

And it has podcasts that goes along with it. So you get a podcast, plus you can just follow and read easier. Next, I would recommend for the dads. It is a newer podcast with Will Compton. He also has a podcast called Bustin with the Boys, for all those sports guys out there. For the dad, I'm not a dad, I'm a mom, but I get great parenting advice, and I actually just really enjoy listening to it even before I was a parent.

Outside of that, I recommend I just got an espresso machine. Love it. On Netflix, I'm watching Dawson's Creek, selling OC, selling sunset, which is trash tea. Oh, she ran at a time. Great Rex. So the thing that I was excited about on this one is because obviously last week we were getting all biblical, which was largely supported. One or two negative comments on this buff up, but that's okay.

You know, it's a choice to go that hard. However, since I was talking about all the Bible stuff, I just thought this was kind of interesting, you know, sort of a fun way to take that in. So there's a wreck for anybody who was, you know, there was a lot of engagement around the Bible suggestion. So, I mean, listen, a lot of the world is, you know, heavily into religion. You know, there's no great correlation between people who like comedy pods

and don't like religion. There's plenty of people that like religion, like comedy pods. So there's one for you. I actually didn't take it in when I was reading it that. I'm getting impressed it. It's like a book or is it maybe like a website where you can read and listen along. So I think I'm going to hit that.

I think I'm going to hit that. But leading into doing my videos, girls gone deep, which sounds kind of dirty. Let's check this out. Hi, Hannah. Hi, hi, does. So my podcast recommendation, obviously other than Gugly Squad or Burner Phone, is this podcast called Girls Gone Deep. And it's mostly like a sex positive podcast, but like they talk about everything and anything.

And like they give really good like educational pieces but also like fun stories and like my partner and I listen to it. And it's helped us bring new stuff to the bedroom or like learn about old stuff. like not just like fun stuff to do. Like it talks about boundaries. Like they talk about relationship styles. Like they really get into it. And I think it's just a really cool podcast to listen to. Love you.

Amazing. Yeah. I haven't actually, because you know, Katie Boyle and I used to do The Shift, which was a sex podcast, really. And so there was a time where I was sort of like really delving into that world. But I haven't in a while. But this sounds like my kind of vibe because it sounds a bit practical, but also not like over the top in your face sexual stuff.

And so great suggestion. You did remind me of something. So the other day, I'm sitting in a coffee shop in the Lurie side. And I'm like working, you know, I'm working on new material because I'm going to put this special out. And I'm just like, I'm really just trying to get into just like, you know, because a lot of times like you're sort of evolving bits.

Whereas like I'm really, I'm at the blank slate stage. of, you know, show development, which is, it's a fun but frightening sort of worrying era of like, what the fuck am I going to talk about? And it can be hard sometimes to be inspired. So anyway, I said to myself, oh, let me write some stuff about being married, you know, because I've never, well, not that it matters, but I was just going to say, I think Ireland just scored, because I have the sound off on the Ireland-Hungary match, but it was offside, which is very upsetting. But anyway, and he clearly was. was offside, just in case anyone thinks there's any drama. So, uh, anyway, you know, I've never

delved into being married. No, I'm also like, not, Hannah doesn't care. Hannah has done numerous stories about me, uh, including an inaccurate story on her Netflix special about me, uh, thinking I was having a heart attack and she still to this day claims I was having a panic attack, which I wasn't. But anyway, neither here nor there. Uh, I'm always aware if I do, material, but being married, that people are very aware of who Hannah is. So that has led me to sort of have a little bit of a hesitancy to do that. But at the same time, it's just like, it's a big part of my life now being married. So, you know, listen, I just was like exploring the idea of being married.

So I'm not into chat GPT writing jokes, but like sometimes it can be fun for, like, Chat ChitpT can help you to just like think about areas you want to explore. And I had a frightening moment on chat GPT. And what reminded me is this dialer mentioned about love styles. So chat chbtee must be listening to us. Well, they are, obviously. Because chat GPT, so I said a chat GPT, what are areas that I could cover about being married to a millennial? and chaty pt says oh my wife's a millennial her love language is acts of service and my love language is silence

and i was i started dying laughing not because i think that's the best joke of all time but that's like a running gag between me and hannah you know she's like what do you want i'm like silence but it's like a joke like a stupid joke that we have so i i i did kind of think it was funny just in general but What, what, like, do we think that chat GPT, like, has heard us talking about that, like, on a podcast? Are they just, like, listening all the time? Or was it just, like, a lucky moment where you go, like, oh, an older, an older man might be a bit just, like, irritable or something? So, anyway, I don't know what you guys think about that, but it was, it was pretty wild. And, you know, I have to say that, chat GPT has never really, like, written, I've never, never gone into chat gpte and i've only done it a few times but they've never like come up with a joke that i would use but it can be good at just like you know what it's kind of like it's kind of like

sometimes having a writing partner where they'll just throw out like a suggestion where you go oh that is a good area to cover so i i got to say like i've i've used it you know chapter gp's not writing my jokes but it has you know sometimes like writing material material. It's just like opening doors, but you just sometimes like, you just can't find the door. And then like, chat GPT sometimes would just remind you like, oh, there's a door over there. And then you open it up. And you're like, oh, yeah, there's an area, you know? So anyway, that, that happened.

And by the way, I have no idea about whether any marriage material will make it into my next show. But it just reminded me of that. But I did think that was funny, little chaty PT moment. All right, let's keep it. This is, this is interesting when I read it. Let me see what it sounds like when we actually hear it. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Des, love the pod.

I am calling in this week to respond to Des' prompt about good podcasts to listen to. This podcast that I love is called Who Shat on the Floor at my wedding. And it's these women who are investigating their friend group. because a couple of their friends got married and somebody shot on the floor in the women's bathroom at the wedding. And it's a big investigation. And it is so fucking funny, so entertaining. It's like a who done it. And it's real, but it's like kind of low stakes.

So it's not that serious. But it's just the way they do it is amazing. And they all have accents. So I love it. Everyone should go listen. I think it's hilarious. See, I feel like that is such a great recommendation because that's like one of these things. Well, certainly for me, I'd never heard of it.

Such a great idea. Not only is it like I can't wait to listen, but also just like genius. You know, one of the great things about modern content creation or just like the ability for people to not have to be able to create with so much less money and access to networks and stuff, it's just the amount of cool ideas that at least get a small airing. And I think like a moment,

like this is the perfect example of that. What a fucking great idea. No, I have no idea if it's a great podcast, but my God, that is hilarious. So unfortunately, I was distracted while listening to that because somebody famously shot on the floor of the Aquedome in Ireland in 2003, which was episode two of the Desbishop Work experience. And I had to clean it up. And still to this day I meet people who are like do you remember when somebody shot on the floor of the aquedome? It's like, it's kind of

sad but it's probably one of the top ten brought up things in my career. I actually think it might be top five things brought up in my career. You know? So I doubly love this because people shitting on the floor. It's like, happens a lot more than you think.

So I can't wait to find out who's shadowed the floor at their wedding. I didn't have any, I don't think I had any, I don't think we had any mysteries at my wedding. Not too much, not too much drama, you know. The only real, you know what, you know what one of the only crazy bits of drama is at my wedding was that Raquel, Rachel, Raquel from Van de Pump rules, before all that crazy. drama. She came to our wedding as somebody else's date. And I mean, afterwards, I would see, you know, mention of that in the midst of all that drama, like our wedding would be mentioned. And I'd be like, how the fuck did I even get a smidge of proximity to this insanity? What was that

called, or Scandival. So that's my, that's my, you know, one degree or what is, you know, different degrees of separation from Scandival. So somewhere in the, in the annals of that chaos is Raquel's trip to my wedding. I mean, there was a little bit of drama at my wedding, but I will, I will hold on to them. Some are personal to my family and, and some are personal to my family, and some would be of interest to the gossip mongers on the internet, but I shall resist speaking ill of anyone. So let's crack on. Let's keep moving, man.

Let's keep moving. This is interesting, speaking of the gossip. Hey, Hannah, hey, Des. Love you guys. I'm just calling in to respond to Despromp about podcast recommendations. So I run a bakery, so I'm alone and listening to tons of podcasts while I'm decorating cakes and stuff. And two that I want to shout out here are two hot takes, which Hannah, I think you're a guest on, but they basically read Reddit stories and react to just like crazy life stories on Reddit,

like Emma the Asshole type Reddit subreddits. And then the other one is, we're here to help, which is with Jake Johnson, who was starred as Nick Miller a new girl and then the comedian Gareth Reynolds and they basically have people come on live and explain like the most ridiculous problem you've ever heard. So like my co-worker takes her shoes off in the office

and like has her stinky feet out. How do I get her to wear her shoes? Stuff like that and they just propose like the most ridiculous solutions and then have them on for follow-ups. Oh damn. You know what's funny because I didn't realize I have two recommendations for two hot takes. I did not know

that's what too hot takes was a sort of like Reddit inspired pod I love it you know I have a very kind of mixed relationship with Reddit and I know we've discussed it before but like the Reddit is really like the best

and the worst of the internet you know it was the best of times it was the worst of times which is definitely Reddit you know like because you know I have seen

not just about myself, but I've seen just some of the most horrible behavior, unchecked toxicity on Reddit. And there's just not enough repercussions for some of the horrible behavior that anonymous people have been banging out on Reddit and other forums like that, you know? like it's it's really like part of the problem like a lot of modern ills are based on what I would consider to be almost the rewarding

the rewarding of toxic behavior on the internet I mean basically what I always like to say is that the trolls won you know because in the early days of like that type of internet behavior I always thought that like you know the media would push back against the trolls, but actually the fucking media,

originally the mainstream media, they're so fucking lazy that they just started posting trolldom as if it was like real news. And they actually gave credence to troll them to the point where like they kind of emboldened the trolls. Because now it's like,

now you'll see people be like, Reddit doesn't like, It's like Reddit doesn't like anything. Any fucking journalist out there can write a story that Reddit doesn't like something because Reddit doesn't like anything. That's just what Reddit is. Right?

And like, don't get me wrong. We all like to dip into a bit of toxicity on something we don't like. You go there, you'll find it, you know? But what I mean is like, there's just never, every now and then there's something horrible happens. Like, you know, I think,

I haven't watched this Caroline Flagg documentary, but like that's out now. And like that was a moment where people were like, hey, maybe we need to check ourselves on how fucking horrible we could be on the internet. But then that like lasts a couple of weeks and then we move on until the next horrible thing happens. But there's like low profile,

horrible things happening all the time as a result of cyber bullying. And of course nobody talks about that because, you know, like unless you like have a teenager, I think most people just don't think cyber bullying has anything to do with your life. but like it's going on all the time, you know? And so neither does she say,

all that toxicity has really been rewarded. And like I would even go so far as to say that a lot of our political problems are down to the fact that like, the more horrible you are, and actually the more wild you are with your takes, you know, facts be damned. The more wild you are with your takes,

the more you're going to get rewarded. I mean, since we're on podcast recommendation, go check out the top podcast and go, go see how many of the top podcasts are literally fueled by misinformation. I mean, it's bonkers how much trolldom essentially has won, you know? Like there's just tons of troll them happening all the time, even from the top, you know, the troll in chief, nonstop, just troll them, you know? And whether you like the troll, whether you like that or not, you know, you know,

know, it's just like, it's not healthy for like a calm society. No matter what side of trolldom you're on, people that are trolling on your behalf or people that are trolling against your beliefs, it's not good for a healthy society, you know? It's fine if it's a little bit of your entertainment, but the problem is that it kind of took over, you know, so that's why I always say the trolls won. So that's the dark side of Reddit. But on the flip side, there's so many amazing communities. You know, I'll give a couple of good examples.

I went on the ACL Reddit, man. Like, the ACL Reddit was essential for me in those early days particularly. Because, like, obviously, every time you hear a pop, every time you feel a twinge, you're like, what the fuck is wrong with me? And you go on the ACL Reddit, and there's just so many people that have been through it.

And I'm not saying you're getting all good advice, because obviously it's just random people on Reddit, but, you know, you're just getting, like, just basic info from somebody that's just been through it, you know? So I had a friend, you know, lost his wife way too young. and, you know, he went on like the widower Reddit, you know, for people who've lost their wives. Huge support, you know, like a community of people who understand. I do love the back to the TV shows.

I do like the TV show Reddits, but you also like have to take them with a grand assault because, like, there's so much nonsense on them. And then the problem with them is that you get into that, like, toxic fandom where people feel too connected, particularly to, like, actors and actresses and then it gets, you know, it gets a little weird. Because at the end of the day, like it is the sort of, I like fandom. Like I'm, like I am a mega fan of succession, right?

So I'm not against being like a huge fan, but I am against when it gets to the point where, like, the obsession turns dark. And that can happen. So you can see a little bit of that on the TV Reddit, the show Reddits. But in general, I do enjoy, you know, sometimes you just want to be able to,

to go and just like, I don't know, see what other people are saying, you know. So anyway, that's my, that's my Reddit. I think I've done a couple of Reddit prance over the year, so I don't want to like repeat myself and bore you guys. So speaking of politics, let's keep it moving. Hey, mom and dad. Okay, does the podcast recommendation I have for you is called Unbiased Politics with Jordan Berman.

So she is a lawyer that has this podcast now full-time. And the reason why it's so great is because you have no idea where she stands on anything because she's that unbiased. It's literally just giving the facts and talking about headlines from the previous week. And she'll say, you know, people that are in support of this have this explanation for it. The people that are against it have this reasoning for it. And it really lets you form your own opinion without being classified as like, oh, I'm liberal or oh, I'm conservative. I do lean left. And even that, though, like keeping up with the news online or on TV, it's just always disheartening because it's just so heavy.

And this is a way to process it where it's like just the facts and there's no emotional ties to it. So highly recommend. I like that. I actually really have been looking for something like that, so I'm looking forward to checking that out because, yes, it can all be quite biased and, you know, it can be quite the wind-up. So that sounds like a good wreck, you know?

In these crazy times, sometimes you just want to, you want to get a bit informed, but it can be very hard. You know, everyone's really pushing their agenda. and then sometimes like listen i i'm not a big comedy podcast guy to be honest with you but even like sometimes like over the years some of the information podcast that i got into because they get popular then they get too into like the banter and it's like yo if i want banter i'll go to a comedy pod so just just give me the fucking info bro you know i you know you know you know you You may or may not know who I'm talking about.

But I, there's, there are, like, stuff like that kind of bothers me. You know, I did go, I do kind of,

I enjoy, uh, the British rest of politics. I don't like the rest of politics USA because I just think that scaramucci, even though, here's the thing about scaramucci. I think he's doing a good job,

but I think that he's a phony. So I find it hard to listen to him. Because I, you know, I just don't, I don't, I get it, he's good at it, but I don't trust him at all. So, unfortunately, restless politics USA, not doing it, but I do like the restless politics UK. I do like Rory Stewart.

And so anyway, if you're looking for another sort of calm news analysis, I do like the rest of politics. British version, you may like the American one, but I just can't do scaramucci. but I'm looking forward to checking that one out, which I have to, I'm going to have to listen again because I... Hey, Mom and Dad. Okay, does the podcast recommendation I have for you is called Unbiased Politics with Jordan Berman? Okay, unbiased politics with Jordan Berman.

That's how the hell could I have forgotten that? It's literally here the theme. So that's good to know. All right, let's keep it moving, you know, as I literally had to stop myself belching there, which is very unprofessional. So I apologize. Let's take a break from podcast recommendations for a sec.

And I have a funny aside. Hi, Hannah and does. Obviously, love the pod. I just wanted to say thank you to Hannah because she's changed my underwear game. I'm officially a granny-pani giggler. I ordered a pack of like full coverage, 100% cotton underwear on Amazon. And now they're my new favorite things.

I haven't gotten to the point where I'm really wearing them in public yet, but they're definitely like my nighttime chill. But I think I'm going to get to the point where I'm wearing them in public. But like I feel like what I wear them, it's almost like sluttier than a thong. Because like you can see my underwear lines, which means you're definitely looking at my butt, right? Like, I don't know. Anyway, I thought Hannah would enjoy that.

She's not here, but it's good to know. You know, I almost have a bit of a problem, though, with Hannah's like, Hannah has this real resistance to thongs. And it isn't like a sexual thing. Like, I don't need Hannah to be wearing thongs, but sometimes, sometimes there's outfits where a thong will be the thing to wear, but she resists it. There was one or two incidents recently where it's like, you know, life will be a lot better if you just didn't bother with this, you know,

kind of underwear that you're wearing. But anyway, that's, that's neither here or they. You, that's a really, you ladies, you can have your opinions on that. It's not really my area of expertise. So I'm sure some of you are fuming right now that I'm even having an opinion on this. So I apologize for delving into an area, which is really none of my business. Hey guys, it's almost 2026. And you're still paying rent without built?

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rent. I would redeem my points on built home delivery powered by GoPuff. They've got an amazing home collection. And of course, I'd be splashing out on some restaurants. Built points have been ranked the most valuable points currency by the points guy. Who, by the way, I have met and he's an amazing guy. I would actually kind of consider the points guy, like my religion. He's my guru. So the fact that the points guy is given Bilt some props is a pretty damn good recommendation. And they just announced Bilt Cash, a way to unlock even more value from Bilt's partners. It's simple. Paying rent is better with Bilt, earn rewards, and finally get something back for being a renter.

So join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com slash burn. That's J-O-I-N-B-L-T.com slash burn. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Guys, Quo is the number one business phone system that streamlines customer communication. I mean, you don't want to miss out on business. You don't want to miss out on a customer. Well, no more juggling two phones are being tied to a landline. Quo works through an app on your phone or your computer so you can run your business from anywhere.

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It's called Hilf. History I'd like to fuck with Don Brody. And she's a comedian, a historian, and the way she tells story. is so alluring and it makes history so fun and exciting and she brings new perspective to things. She puts all these events into context and really just, it's so good. So definitely check that one out. No, shout out to absolutely not. Google's Vlad, burner phone, handsome.

long-winded, you know, I love podcasts. So, bye guys. Yeah, handsome got a lot of recommendations. Hannah's, Hannah did one of those, like, the call, the thing that they do, like the message that they get. Oh, ask a question, right? So Hannah did that.

And, you know, honestly, Amy Polish podcast got good hang, got a lot of wrecks. But I didn't leave it any of the message because Hannah's, Paige had been on it, so I figured most of you know about that already. So, but anyway, Oh, Ireland going to score. Please be, please not be disallowed. Please don't be disallowed.

Come on. Please don't be disallowed. Sorry, guys. You're getting live report here as the incredible parrot who's now scored four goals in two games. 11 minutes to go. Ireland has beat Hungary to qualify for the playoffs for the playoffs of getting into the World Cup. And it's a lot of things Americans don't understand. It's very hard to get into the World Cup out of Europe.

Very competitive. No, that is not offside. So, okay, so we got ourselves a goal. We got ourselves a two-two draw here against Hungary. And 11 minutes plus stoppage time for Ireland to get a chance to get into the playoffs, to get into the World Cup. Very exciting. But I'll keep focus on the podcast.

Don't think that I'm not focused on this podcast. Anyway, exciting match, I have to say. Just in case you're wondering why I'm doing the podcast while the matches on. Well, I have a show tonight in Tala, County Dublin. And I'm just getting it all done here. Plus, I wanted to get it done before the big attempt at a live episode at 5 o'clock, my time. And it's currently 3.45 my time. So an hour and 15 minutes from the attempt.

Anyway, sorry, health. History I'd like to fuck. What a great suggestion for me. I'd never heard of it. And you don't understand how. many times I have put in history and just like not really found like okay the rest is history it's fine they're hard on the subscriber thing though too like a lot of the times I'll see one that I want to listen to and it's not that I'm against subscribing to pods but it's just like so many different subscriptions

now like I find it a little bit like annoying you know because then you subscribe and you forget so a lot of subscription restriction on the rest is history But it's good, but, you know, it's like, not great, but it's good sometimes. And then one that I love, the problem is I'm just not that interested in the subject matter is the ancients. Because the guy is awesome, but I just like, this ancient history is just, there are sometimes aspects of ancient history that I am into and I have listened to, like stuff about Mesopotamian. me and stuff. But it's just hard. You know, I just, I really do. I need just a few less degrees of separation from my, my own time, uh, then what the ancients do. But I have to say, if you're

into ancient history, he's in my vibe in terms of his delivery and his voice and stuff. Uh, other history podcast, like, what is it, Dan Snow? There's just different ones that I've just like they've never I've never really been able to go oh this is my one so I'm looking forward to trying out history I'd like to fuck health and uh we'll see you know we'll see if I like it but I certainly love history podcast but part of the problem in history podcasts is you have to be kind of into the era you know and that's that's part of why like I find it hard to like have a regular history podcast because it's like you're listening to one and like for example this is the rest is history they were doing mary queen of scots and i was kind of fascinated by her

she's quite unique character in history uh and then like whatever the next thing was like i wasn't into it so that's the thing it's like that's the only problem i have with history podcast but anyway listen this is a first world problem so i'm i'm happy with your recommendation You know, it's funny because I feel like people kind of do this idea now, but years ago, long before really podcasts were a thing, I had pitched a TV show where you tell, you tell historical events as if, not as if they're happening now, but you're able to tell them with all the modern media at your disposal. So essentially, it was kind of like Sky News or like CNN does history. but at that time, Twitter was already out. And so I was going to also use, like, social media. But it was going to be TV show, like, hosts.

And so it was going to be, like, the news of the time. So one of, because, by the way, boring, but I have a degree in history. So one of the things that's very hard when you're thinking about history is, it's really hard to just realize that, like, life was just happening at that time. right so what's i always i was always using the 1916 rising in arland as an example now a lot of you may not be familiar with the 1960 rising but it was a good example because it was a sort of isolated three-day event which in itself was just a debacle but it turned out that the response to that rising uh was a trigger for modern irish revolutionary history which is the beginning of modern

Ireland, as we know today, with its lingering problems that you may or may not know about, but it's not, we're not a history podcast, we're not getting into it. Anyway, long story short, it was a pitch for an Irish show, number one, so it was going to focus on Irish history. But, you know, there was just like, first of us only in Dublin, and there was just like other stuff happening. So one of the ideas behind the show was that, like, yes, the main focus is how this quote, unquote, 24-hour news program is telling the story of 1916. but also that there's like other news. So one of the things was going to be like celebrity news,

but it was going to be kind of jockey in that it was going to be the celebrity news of the day but told through the celebrity news, you know, weapons that we have, Twitter, gossip columns, tabloids, you know, tabloids covers and stuff. And then, you know, obviously there was going to be like interviews with people in the streets are like vox pops, you know. And it was just like basically just a way for people to understand history. because obviously like, oh yeah, and I was always going to have two people debating, but like one of the debaters was obviously going to have to like take the non-popular position,

like in terms of like somebody who, well, which was true at the time, like people were not happy with the 1916 rising. They thought it was a nuisance. And, you know, a lot of people thought that actually despite, you know, this British rule being a problem for Ireland historically, that in recent times things had been getting a bit better. You know what I mean? shit like that. So anyway, I was going to have people debating without the hindsight of, without the hindsight. Because hindsight's kind of part of the problem with history. Because you're learning history through, you know, people's fucking opinions about what happened after. You know, everyone's got their agendas, even when they're writing history. And people think

history's like a fact. History is not a fact. History's a fucking story. So, you know, you really want to sometimes try to understand history in the context of the time. So that was the idea behind. Anyway, it never happened. I can't even remember what happened. I remember I had it. For the Irish, I sat down at a meeting with Russell Carole Kelly, the writer of Russell Carole Kelly, and Arthur Reardon, who I had written some stuff with, but it never happened.

And then many years later, I was going to try to do it as a podcast, like historical events, like as if they were happening, like through the medium of today. But honestly, I just got lazy. I was just thinking about how much work will go into it, and I just bailed out of out of laziness. Because originally when I was pitching a TV show, we were going to have loads of researches and the budget. Whereas with this, it just, you know, honestly,

a lot of research, because you've got to get it right. You know what I mean? There's only so many things that you know about properly in advance, and even the ones you think you know about properly, when you start to research, I'm like, oh, shit, you know? That information probably didn't exist when I learned that. opinions have evolved or whatever. You know, basically, I just, I bailed out of it.

But I feel like there are some people that do something like that today. But I do think it's a good historical exercise for understanding people. And just to finish off this history thing, some of you may and may not know, but I did actually write historical satire about the 1916 Rising as a play, which was, you know, performed in Dublin, on two, you know, in numerous venues. It was called Shooting Gallery, and it was about two opiate addicts

that couldn't get drugs because of the 1916 Rising. And it was a kind of, basically like a farce based around these two. It was a play about addiction that, you know, was sort of framed within the 1916 Rising so you can have some fun with history. Anyway,

just so you know, obviously, since we've been talking about it for 10 to 15 minutes, one of my favorite subjects. So anyway, thanks, guys. I hope I didn't bore you on that one. Let's get back to the podcast recommendations. Let's talk about some health. For the podcast recommendations,

it's called Zoe Science and Nutrition. And Hannah, you might be into this, but I feel like it's a little more does-coded. But Zoe, I think it's DOE, science and nutrition, the host is British, so you feel very smart listening to it. And they have lots of different health things. Every week is a new topic with world-renowned experts on the topic, from like gut health to movement stuff to heart health to sleep health.

And, yeah, it's, you know, I can't listen to it all the time because then I just get anxious and feel like I'm going to die because I'm not doing enough. But it's really nice to sprinkle in there and it makes you feel smarter. Great suggestion. And, you know, because the health pods can be hard because you just don't know how informed people are. So I look forward to checking this one out. Thank you for the recommendation.

And, you know, I was trying to keep it nice and broad, too, by the way. But yeah, it is true, though, too. Like with the health ones can be hard to listen all the time. Because also, sometimes they're just talking about an area of health that really doesn't have anything. to do with you, you know, which is also fair enough. And that's, the health and the history, that's their similarity.

It's like just sometimes it's just not a topic that you really care about. So, thank you for the suggestion. Let me get through a few more before we finish. Because we've already done enough time. But, boy, if this freaking live episode kicks off, this is going to be the longest episode in the history of Bernifone.

But I really do not want to rely on the, live call. It's because technically I have no idea if it's going to work. Hopefully we can at least do two. You know? Anyway,

let's try this. Okay, hi guys, my name is Callahan. I'm writing in about the podcast episode, like which what podcast we recommend. And I recommend a podcast called Rebuttal. It's by Reb Maisel. She's a lawyer from California.

And she is like one of the funniest people I've ever, like, actually listened to besides you guys. She covers, like, case law and just, like, famous lawsuits that are, like, super abstract. Like, she's covered lawsuits with, like, we're, like, talking cats and talking parrots, like, the deciding factor. I don't know. I'm, like, pre-law, so to me, this is, like, super interesting, but I think that a lot of people would really love her podcast.

It's informative, but also literally hilarious. Like, I just love it so much. I think that so many people could learn so much about the legal system through these fun cases, she doesn't go too much in depth between, like, the law. So it doesn't get, like, all confusing for people who don't know. But it is, like, so informative.

You learn so much about, like, these, like, famous cases, and they're literally hilarious. So I highly recommend, and I really hope it's make sense. Because she's... Amazing. Callahan.

You know, with a name like Callahan, you really should have become a detective. I just feel like that's a detective name. Or at least somebody in the precinct where someone is like, Callahan, get in my office. But anyway, great suggestion. This was actually one of my... No, by the way, most of these pods I'd never heard of.

So don't think that I'm like, you know, thinking one pod's better than the other. But in terms of, like, potentially things I might like, this was one of the ones high up on my list to check out. Because I think I'd be into that, you know? And I think a lot of people should be into this. Going right back to my early conversation about true crime.

Like, I just think that people could do with understanding how actually complicated and difficult it is to really discover stuff. Because, you know, part of the thing that I forgot to say about the true crime stuff is like, a lot of this sleuthing fucking ruins people's lives.

I think I was kind of, like, distracted at the time, or I couldn't process what bothered me about the true crime obsession. But actually, one of the things is the sleuthing and how, like, that can issue. You know, and I know that some people will be triggered by this, but, like, even the way that, like, people won't lay off the McCanns, and they're just so convinced that they know that it was actually the McCans

that killed their daughter. And, like, they just won't lay off it, and they just keep banging out these facts that have been debunked over and over. Like, I just think some of that shit is so fucking toxic, man. So this is the antithesis to that, you know, a lawyer sort of breaking it down, the complexity of it. I think, by the way. So anyway, really interesting.

And by the way, I don't think they just, I don't think they're just talking about, like, crime. I'm assuming some of these cases are, like, complicated legal things around, like, the law. So anyway, ignore me if that was bugging you. But, so, you know, Hannah and I, we're just not good in the kitchen. We're not organized.

And Hungry Root has been great for us. Because it does our weekly food shopping, shops for us. delivers groceries that fit our health goals, dietary preferences, and budget. Okay, so Hungarut personalizes for you. Helps you to eat well, reach your diet and health goals. Hey, if you're gluten-free, they got you. Dairy-free now, changing it up for Hannah, high-protein.

They got you too. Focusing on gut health, anything else. They have a quick quiz and you use their smart cart technology, which recommends groceries tailored to your tastes and needs. Plus, they've got tons of variety. You know, I don't know of you guys. Some of these other ones, it ends up getting a bit samie pretty quick. Well, Hungar Root has over a thousand grocery items like smoothies, sweets, kids snacks, salad kits, ready to eat meals, and supplements to choose from every week.

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it can also help you save a trip out in the cold to the grocery store by delivering all you need right to your door each week. So take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time. Get 40% off your first box. Plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungry root.com slash burner and use code burner. That's hungry root.com slash burner code burner to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Finding the perfect gift can feel impossible. That's why baked by Melissa is my new go-to. because you want something that's thoughtful, fun, and guaranteed to make people smile. They have these bite-sized cupcakes that are always a crowd-pleaser with flavors for everyone and beautiful, unique packaging for any occasion.

It's such a great gift. And I think you guys have heard me talk about my thing about having to bring something to somebody's house when you're coming over. Well, baked by Melissa gets me covered every time because it's so impressive when you arrive. The kids can't believe it. And then the adults sninkily can't wait for the kids to go to bed so they could pig out on those bad boys too. Their cupcakes are made entirely by hand and they turn any moment into a celebration. Baked by Melissa arrives in just one to two days nationwide, guaranteeing your treats arrive perfectly fresh and right on time.

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Des, I just got back from your birthday show at the comedy cellar in New York. I was the one who told you to tell Hannah, Olivia, from Wisconsin, says, go badgers. But thank you guys for putting on such a great show tonight. I have no idea what the prompt is. Sorry, I didn't read it. But I just wanted to let you know that I have been going through the worst breakup of my life. And I listen to you guys pretty much every week during work because I work from home. and also live less than 200 feet from my ex.

So I'm on a work, paid vacation in New York. It's a work trip, but I'm living it up outside of that. And I laughed more tonight than I have in weeks. So thank you guys for that. I love you both, Hannah. I need to catch you live again. Yeah, have a great night. Happy birthday, does.

I mean, I just played that because it reminded me that. Well, first of all, thank you for the happy birthday wishes. Um, but I, oh my God. Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen, oh my God. At five minutes of stoppage time, Ireland has scored. Un-Bullet, this is one of the best Irish matches of all time. One of the greatest Irish football matches of all time.

Unbelievable goal. Here at the end, I think it was parrot again. I need to actually see the replay. Could this be the greatest run of performances by a footballer in the history of Ireland? I have no idea. I'm aware that it's mostly women that listen to this podcast. But if there are Irish people listening to this podcast, this could, this, this, this, this on, I'm actually like in shock. I, it's the end of the podcast.

So it doesn't matter. we've literally gotten through all of our suggestions. Unbelievable. Oh my God. Like, it's like, by the way, Ireland went down 1-0. They came back 1-1. Then they were down 2-1. It's Parrot again.

This guy scores five goals and two matches and resurrects what was a poor Irish campaign to only qualify for the playoffs of getting in, by the way. but like just pandemonium in the grounds. And I can't imagine what is going on in the pubs around Ireland right now. What the fuck is my show in Tala gonna be like tonight? I'll tell you right now, they will be distracted in Tala. But unfortunately, Hungary, making a push.

But Kelleher, what are the greatest keepers in the Western Hemisphere, makes the save. And we're now seven minutes into stoppage time, which was originally meant to be five. unbelievable. One of the great Irish matches of all time. So happy that Burnaphone and the whistle is blown!

Come on, we got to turn on the sound here. I should really just turn off the pod. This is unbelievable. I just, I cannot believe what this kid, what this guy has done over the last two matches. it's it's fucking it's mind-boggling

holy shit well anyway just just to finish up the reason why I left in the birthday thing was so obviously I told you at the beginning of the pot I had this fancy dinner plan with Hannah

that's all I wanted to do in my 50th but you put in your spots for the comedy seller two weeks in advance so I put in for the 11th my birthday's the 12th but the spot that I got was after midnight so I ended up on stage right at the beginning of my 50th birthday,

and it ended up being great. I was on stage. First thing I did in my 50s was do a show, which is what I've been doing since I'm 21 years old. And, you know, the day that I found that I had cancer, I got on stage, you know,

I found out my dad was getting cancer. I kept telling jokes. Life goes on, man. So it was great to start my 50s on stage, and upstairs was a great crew, Michael Chey, Jack. Irid Freed. Who else was with me?

Because it was such a great. Oh, Lisa Trager and Matt Richards. And they brought out a cake. And it was just so much fun. So shout out to them too. Actually, the beginning of my 50th birthday was actually an unexpected sort of mini party. Anyway, guys, I'm going to go.

Because I've been talking for an hour. And we still have our episode on. I'm going to call my brother Mike back in New York, who must be losing his. mind right now. And we are off to the playoffs. The Irish fans in Hungary going insane. Take that Victor Arban.

Take that bitch. What a fucking match. Holy shit. I know that there's a hypocrisy here, right? Because you guys are going, if you really cared, you wouldn't have been recording the podcast. But I care about you guys more. But anyway, glad we could share this moment together.

Like and subscribe. Keep spreading the word. Thanks for those who did keep putting on Instagram stories. And hopefully we'll be having our experiment later. Here we go. Tracy's calling in here live on Bernaphone. Sorry, Tracy. I hit you.

I hit you like fast, but I'm only figuring out how to use this. I am too. So I was just going to give you a little test call to see if you could, if it worked out. Well, you did. You're the tester. Let's go down in history as the first. live dialer. Wow.

This is an incredible moment. Did you have anything teed up in your mind to talk about? Or are you just testing it? Well, is there like a theme to the questions or is it a free-for-all? In the email, I said it's basically a free-for-all. So it's kind of, I guess, if I were to throw a topic on it, it would be like, what, anything from previous Bern to phone episodes that you sort of wanted to follow up on or anything at all, honestly. Okay, I do have a random question.

Okay, so I'm getting married in May. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. And my fiancé is nine years older than me, so I relate to Hannah in that way. But I am trying to decide how I'm going to change my name. Oh, well, that's an interesting one. It is. So, okay, so backstory to I have a PhD.

So right now I'm Dr. Carson. Yes, which is a perfect name. Oh, my dog's joining me. This is Lucy. The dog is great. but Dr. Carson, first of all, perfect name. That's like what a script writer would put down as a doctor's name. Thank you.

It's really, it's easy. Everyone can spell it. Like it, it flows well. Yes. And so if I change my last name and it becomes Dr. McIntyre, I feel like that's not me. Like, I feel like he doesn't have a part of me getting that degree. Like, I did the work.

So I think I'm going to change. my, yeah, I think I'm just going to keep Carson and not... Well, I think you should absolutely keep Carson. Change my last name. You know what? My mother did. Yeah. My mother changed, she did change her last name to Bishop, but she made her middle name,

O'Hare. But, you know, I don't, I don't think it's necessary. Obviously, Hannah didn't change her name, but I don't think it's necessary to... Now, McIntyre is a fine name. It's a beautiful name. Scottish, I would feel. It is, yes. He has the...

tattooed on him. Oh, wow. So that's nothing. You got a problem because you got a very proud McIntyre. And his whole family, I might be... You're going to get shunned, ostracized by your family. But here's the thing.

You're a doctor, though. I know. A doctor is allowed to... First of all, anyone's allowed to keep their name, but... Yeah. Dr. Carson is just to the correct doctor's name. It's so good, right? Yeah.

Also, here's the thing if you take McIntyre. Yeah. You'll spend your whole life telling people know it's M-A-C and that. It's actually MCE. There you see, there you go. I've already screwed it up. It's hard to mess up Carson.

Everyone already spells my first name wrong, so you know. Okay, so can I just ask you a question before we go? Outside the realm of you like Carson, what's your feeling in general about the taking of names? I think women should keep their maiden name. Yeah. Just do. I think it's like you're, especially like women are getting married later, you've created like your identity in that with that name like my dad's not handing me over for like money or dowry

anymore like it's yes i'm a full adult human woman who is like you know live my whole life with that name and my initials are tlc too so that's another part of it yeah you don't want to give that up can't change that right yeah so i think i think we should keep our last names okay part two the more complicated question hannah have i have discussed it before on the pod yeah what are you going to do if you have kids yeah and we want kids so that is that is is the hard part. I think that, I think it doesn't matter. I think it doesn't matter. Your kid takes the husband's last name, if that is what you want to do. And it has a different last name. And sure, it's complicated, but is it really that complicated? I think we like to overcomplicate

things that don't even be that complicated. I think joining the names makes it complicated, but I understand why some people want to do it. But I think you just end up, when you end up with like, hyphenated last names, it just causes a lot of admin problems later in life. So much, yeah, so much admin, misspellings. Did you care if Hannah took your last name or not? Oh, I didn't care at all. And you know, it didn't, it's funny, it didn't even enter my brain. Like, I wouldn't, honestly, I wouldn't want her to take my last name.

You know? If she was, well, like, in the sense that, like, if she wanted to take it, that would have been fine. But, like, she already, in her case, particularly, she already had established, like, such a brand around her name. Exactly. Like if she wanted to change that, and just like, there's like famous ones. Like, to me, it was always Justine Ennan,

then it became Justine Enon Ardennes. It's like, why'd you do that? Too long. Unnecessary. What are some other famous, famous people that changed their name? It's like, no, you're... You lose your, like, essence of, like, who you grew up to become with that name. I don't know, I think it was so powerful.

Well, I really appreciate you being the first dialer. Thank you. I mean, that was pretty smooth. I mean, you're an easy call. Now let me see if I can get rid of you without any problem. Oh, what's your name, by the way? Oh, Tracy, of course. I'm looking at it.

Yeah. Well, first of all, congratulations. I hope the wedding goes great. Thank you so much. You keep your name if you want to. And best wishes to your husband also. I hope he doesn't mind our discussion. And we'll thank you so much.

We'll try this again sometime. Thank you, does. Bye. All right. So there you go, guys. Our first caller. Now the question is, is there's somebody else in line to call? We need somebody else. I just got to figure, oh, I got one. Amanda. Here we go. All right, I got it. Hi, Amanda. Can you hear me? How are you? I'm great. How are you doing? great great only only a slight delay so we're off and running here our first live call-in show I'm sorry I didn't give you guys much guidance did you have something in your mind you wanted to talk about no I just think it's hilarious that you're in Hannah's conversations because I work in

finance administration so I have Hannah's worst nightmare of a job dealing with paperwork yes everyone but I just love your guys's perspective on everything and you guys make me laugh well. I'm doing paperwork, so it's really nice. I have to tell you that it's not just Hannah, it's Hannah and I both hate the paperwork. In fact, because I just arrived back to Dublin yesterday and today, the person who is staying in my house while I'm not here anymore, handed me my like three months of mail. I was just like, why are we still, why is so much of this stuff still being mailed to us? And like, really important stuff. It's like, why are we still mailing this?

I know, I don't have an answer. You probably just have to click the paperless option, but that's also too much admin to change. I know. It's a process. I know. Like, you know what really bothers me, actually? Also, let me go back to the chat, because I feel like Hannah's texting.

Hannah's saying hi, by the way, in the chat. Hi, Hannah. So, like with hospital stuff, I'm not going to get into my hospital rant again. I heard it, but I'm also in Canada. So I understand the not specifics about it. Yeah, but here's the thing. For some reason, it seems like hospitals or, sorry, like medical places can't bill you via email.

Like it always, yeah, like an insurance, insurance approvals. Again, you wouldn't know about that, but like insurance approvals, it all, Hannah, why are you keep, it's just a word about, but it's just the way that this shirt is, okay? Like, this is Hannah. I can't, I can't have a conversation because Hannah keeps bugging me about this. shirt, it's just the way the shirt is, right? I had to make an effort to put it down. It just naturally goes on, okay? So, anyway, so what's your advice, by the way, for anybody in relation to their own admin, because my mother was the admin person. My father was useless, but there were times where I would see my mother at the kitchen table, and I'd be like, Mom, what you're doing?

She's like, I'm just doing the house bills. What's your advice for people? To start, just pick two times of the year and not Christmas, not New Year's when things are popping off, pick, like a time where you spend one hour and you go through like categories of life for one month. Like, okay, I have to pay the DMV. Hannah's story, by the way, that was hilarious. I was laughing out loud in my car when you guys were telling that story about whether to do the story or not, that was just the best. Anyway, so you pick two times a year. You pick one year, okay, here are the categories.

And then the second time of the year is when you actually like go paperless or you pay the bill or you think about what you have going on for the next year. best advice. Only two hours, Hannah, twice a year to start. You think that's enough? I think that's enough to start, like, helping you kind of figure out what, where you need to focus. Like, what's the most mail that you're getting is also a good one. You know what I always say I'm going to do, and then I never do, because I do it like once and that I don't keep it up. I always say, I'm going to open the mail, take the picture, and immediately put it in, like, one of those apps, you know, that like organizes your finances and stuff. I would say don't go to the apps. I would say keep it paper.

like simple. Really? Just start. Don't even try into the app because the app is going to have so many other options for like, oh, this category, that category. Start with the basics, paper first, a list. A list. Don't even try Excel. Just start with a list, a to do list first. Okay. Good advice. Yeah. Now, what I should be doing and I still don't even do this and it's so basic is when I get like 1099s, again, you're in Canada so you don't have to deal with that. But like, when I get things related to like stuff that will be relevant to my tax return. Okay, good. I should. I should just take a picture and immediately send it to my accountant, but I don't even do that. So maybe twice a month that you send it. Maybe make a folder in your email first, and then you email to yourself, and then you send it to the accountant all at the same time every month or in three months. So here's my problem. Sometimes I can't even remember where I put the damn pieces of paper, so that's also part of the problem. But listen, I'm not going to... You got to do the photo first.

Anyway, this is important for other people, but like do the photo first and then make people a folder. I don't think it's boring for other people because I think a lot of people. people struggle with this. But anyway, Amanda, thank you for being our second call. Thank you. It was so nice to talk with you. Oh my God, you're the best. And you guys are the brave ones, because, like, most people don't even know, but I think now we're starting to get some

momentum. So we'll see you the next time. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye. All right. By the way, I'm producing myself, so Jen has called in. We're going to keep it, we're going to keep it rolling here on Burtaphone. All right. Hi, I'm producing my own show here, Jen. How are you?

Good. How are you? Good. Oh, we got babies trying. Yeah, it's a little chaotic here. That's fun. Chaos is fine. This is a chaos. This is a chaos positive podcast just for the record, Jen. So don't, oh, yep. Well, I'll make it quick. Get that baby. My story is about living something. So I had these diamond earrings that my husband got me. And we traveled to Florida. I lost one of them. And I was traveling somewhere else, but going back to the parents' house. So, The one that I didn't lose, I put in a bag, I set it aside. I went on my trip. I found the other one on the very last day.

And I was like, oh, great. I'm all good. Then I got back to my parents' house, and the original earring had gotten lost. We never did find it. I put it in a bag. I think my mom threw it away or something. So I don't only have the one earring, but if my husband's listening, then that's a great Christmas present. So.

There's nothing worse than when you can't find something and give up on it and then you find the other part of the pair and then you can't find the original. I know. I can't believe it. I mean, usually for me it's just socks, but I can't imagine. I can't imagine with a diamond ear. I know.

Whomp, womp, womp. I lost my dad's, I lost my dad's wedding in the ocean, but unfortunately it never turned up again. Hannah has a very important question in the chat. She wants to know if you use your crock pot. Oh, yeah, that's an instant pot. I highly recommend. It's a very important tool. Yeah, so here's the thing.

I bought an Instapot because somebody was like, you have to have an Instapot. It's the best thing ever. And I tried to use it once to make potatoes. It didn't go well for me. And I've never used it again. You don't like Instapot stories? And I never used it again.

That's why Hannah's asking if you use it. meal, rice, soup. This is great because now this will make Hannah think twice about trying to have a child. Yeah, nine-month-old. So it's fun. Oh, good for you, though. Cute as anything. Well, shout out to all the people who.

Oh, by the way, I live in Eugene. Thank you so much. I'm trying to come to the Portland show that you're doing out here in a few weeks. Oh, yeah. It's a one-nighter. Yeah. Oh, great, great. Well, if you come, make sure to say hi after the show. We'll do. Thanks for chatting. Okay. Thank you. Thanks for calling in. Bye. Bye.

Oh, this is great. Now, we got a real, we got a good rhythm. Natalie coming in. Natalie. I should, hi Natalie. Hi, Natalie. How are you? I'm good. How are you? This is fun. Wonderful. Well, I mean, hey, it's an experiment. As I said, we're under no pressure because I've actually already recorded a solo episode. Now, the thing is that Hannah is in the chat, so... I was just chatting with her. Oh, wonderful. So anyway, did you have something in your mind you want to talk about, or are you just enjoying the process here?

I'm just enjoying the process. I wanted to say shout out to Hannah. I just saw you, your show at Mystic Lake in Minnesota. Oh, yeah. She said that place was wild. Yeah, it was fun. I mean, why does Minnesota have such a humongous casino venue? This is fascinating.

I don't know. It was my first time. Casinos are an odd place. Yes, I know, but Hannah does a lot of casinos, but a lot of these venues seem to have shifted to booking comedians because a lot of comedians I know are doing these things. But did you enjoy it? I did. It was fantastic. I brought my boyfriend.

Oh, yeah. Now here's, okay, so let's discuss this. Because Hannah, Hannah is big into having the boyfriends at the show. She gets excited. Yeah, he's in the other room. I can have him come give his testimony. Oh, well, that would be fascinating. Not to mention it would be a rare male voice on the pod. Hey, Nicholas.

If you want to summon him, it's a lot of guys, Nicholas, your dog friend? Angela, I'm aware that you're trying to get in. Perhaps you just have to wait for this call to finish. Sorry, I'm talking to somebody in the chat. So, Nicholas, get in here now. Oh, you're going to make us upset. Hey, he hears you.

Come here. We're waiting for you. But you can just talk. You don't have to be on the video, because I'm not going to use the, hi, how are you? So what is the, what is the, we need, we need a boyfriend review of Hannah's show. Boyfriend review. Oh, I love it.

It's my, it's my type of comedy. Okay, great. Yes, it's right up my, it's right up my alley. It's, it's the raunchy, it's great. I mean, I enjoyed every second of it. The show was incredible. We were there for, yeah, an hour and a half at Mystic Lake. That was really fun.

And let me ask you this. Do you feel attacked as a man when you're at Hannah's show? I think there's a little bit in there. Which is what she wants. She wants you to feel somewhat attacked. By the way, is that a hairy chihuahua? He's a long-haired chihuahua, yeah. Oh, yeah.

So that's Hannah's favorite dog. She must be out of the chat because she would have responded already. Hannah has been pestering me for a hairy chihuahua. Even though her cat likes our cat, likes no other. other animal as if she would think that one of the more intolerant dogs is going to work out with the most intolerant cat. We have cat.

And how is your hairy chihuahua with the cat? They get along. Oh, that's amazing. Wow, you're living Hannah's dream life, to be honest with you. Well, thank you guys for calling it. And thank you, Nick, for the mail review of Hannah's show. What you should do is like a TikTok being like, hey, guys, don't be afraid to go to Hannah's show. I know guys

like to say women aren't funny but I had a good time I got you well thanks guys this is great our first live episode you're our third caller historical moment thanks does so thanks we'll see you guys the next time thanks for being burn the phone listeners

bye oh who's this we got Kelsey coming in all right shake and bake hey Des hey Kelsey how are you I was just about to give up actually

well I was nervous So I have a huge dilemma. So this might take up a minute, actually. Well, the good news is that this isn't like the Telby voice note. There's no time limit. So take your time. Okay. I actually wrote some notes.

So if I'm looking at home. Okay. All right. So give you a speech. Okay. So I'll start off, but I'm turning 33 in December, which it's young, but I know that's like, I've heard it's like a spiritual year or something. Really?

Why is that when Jesus died? Yeah. And it's like a time of. transformation and I do feel like something is shifting a little but without getting sad I'm kind of in an unfortunate situation where my seven-year relationship has become more of like a roommate thing right. So I'm taking a break and it's hard but I think it's probably the right thing to do so I'll be moving out of the house. We live in Massachusetts. I'll be going home to Vermont shortly. I do have a

remote job working sales so that's fine. But then I have a kicker. So my very best friend who I lived with for years, she's kind of, she's incredible, but she's chaotic in a really good way, a magnetic way. And she was in Denver. She was performing cosmetic surgery. And she met a guy from Europe who, I don't really know the logistics, but he's creating this machine to help recover, cancer patients recover. It's like this whole thing. I don't really understand that. But he is very agriculture. He's very, very, good with living off the land, this, that, and the next. Long story short, they're now in Bulgaria living in a homestead, a living off the land, and I don't know all that much about it. I know

it's very safe, but they have a good community around them, and they're doing, in my sense of thoughts, it's a very Vermont way of living. And they've invited me to come and just go and live with them and see what it's like to be in Europe and live off the land. And I am considered it, but also do I just up and leave my life here, leave my family, and just go there and do it? Is that crazy? I'm a Sagittarius. I love a crazy moment. I love a travel thing.

So, I don't know. After leaving the seven-year relationship and kind of being in a weird spot in my life, I'm strongly considering it, and I don't know much about Bulgaria, but she is loving it, and I trust her. Well, first of all, there's ever a time to do it. It's when you've gotten out of a seven-year relationship. but that's number one, right? Number two, you're talking to a guy who decided to go to China for a full year

when he already had a very successful comedy career. Now, I know that I was doing comedy, but again, same situation as you, you're still going to be able to work. It's not like you're leaving your job. You work remote. Number three, I have a friend who actually has a business in Bulgaria. He doesn't live in Bulgaria, but he runs his business in Bulgaria.

And he always enjoys it when it goes over there. It's not like as sort of different as you would think. Obviously, it's different in the sense that it's Europe and it's great, but it's not, you know, you're not going to be in for the greatest culture shack of your life. Your friends are offering you this opportunity. You know, you're going to get the same advice from Hannah if she was here. You got to at least, you're out of a seven-year relationship. You got to at least give it a month or two or three. I mean, I was going to say three months, you know? Okay, that's good to know, because I was thinking, do I do one month? Do I do just like

10 days and see what it's like? But, I mean, I'm... I mean, once you're comfortable with them, that's the only other thing is that, you know, I would hope that whatever, whatever living situation you get put in with them that you guys don't feel like you're on top of each other. But I think it's a worthy experiment. That's my personal opinion. Again, it's just... No, I know, but I respect that because I know both you and Hannah, you guys travel a lot. I mean, you've been through a lot of things from what I've heard, from going to different places, Ireland, China, all these things. I think that's super cool. And I love going and doing different things. I've done a hundred different jobs, it feels like, in my 33 years. So I...

Now's the time. And also, you'll probably, it's an easier way for you to truly get the sense if the relationship is over, that if you're truly moving on. You know, like, everything about it is good timing for you. That's my personal opinion. Yeah. Oh, he'll think I'm crazy once he hears this, but like, I think he's crazy for sharing it in a public place. Oh, my God, for sure.

He's going to think I've lost my mind, but he's probably a great thought that. And the good thing about the relationship is it's not ending in an unhealthy way. They were both kind of just like, we're best friends, and that's not the relationship that we used to be in. So it's sad, but also I FaceTime with my friend all the time. I've met this guy that she is like business partnered with. Used to be partners with, but they stopped too. So they're in a very healthy, they have a bunch of cool people around them. They have like 100 cats, which is wild, and I'm happy with it.

Hannah's going to put me under pressure to move over there with you guys. Well, that's cool about your friend who has the business in Bulgaria. I've seen the place that they're in right now. It's huge. It's like a renovated farm home that these people kind of just like gave to them because these people are from the UK and they're elsewhere right now. So I'm really considering it and I appreciate the advice because I just need a little like boost. Give it a shot, but be aware that it could be a cult. So just pay attention.

I told you that. I said, this is culty. And she said, I know, but it's okay. All right, let me go. I got somebody else in the chat. We're moving and grooving. That was great, by the way. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you, Des. Have a good day. See you. Bye. Okay, here we go. We got somebody else. Oh, Angela's in? Oh, my God.

Hi. Hey, it worked out. Yeah, I wasn't on Chrome. That was the problem. Oh, sorry, that was the other thing I forgot to say. You know, I'm just taking all that's in. But they did say Chrome or one other one. You can't do Safari.

Sorry. No, it's okay. But, you know, the next time I did. I know, but I also, you know what it was, too? Like, I didn't want to bombard people with information on the Instagram. No, I got it. So, but I should have. I should have, actually.

I got that. I already felt guilty for telling people. people to use their laptop, you know? I know, but mine was on the other room. I ran and grabbed it, so we're all good. Okay, so hit me. All right. I got a bit of like more of advice, but kind of like problems going on. So me and my boyfriend of almost three years, we have just started two different grad school programs. So he is now in law school and I'm studying to be a school psychologist. And the problem is we were both for the past like two and a half three years. We were working together as preschool preschool teachers. Um, his mom was actually my boss, really funny story. And so we really went from

like working together seeing each other five days a week to now all of a sudden like, he's in law school. I'm in graduate school. We see each other maybe once a week. Obviously you and Hannah like see each other much less. So I just like want some advice have like, how can I like still be that supportive girlfriend, but like not let that like get in the way if that makes sense. So do you mean not let the distance get in the way you mean? Well, like, we're not physically that far apart. We just don't see each other a lot. And like, we used to always like go on like weekend adventures and do stuff like all like go out and just do like so many fun random things. But now we're just like not doing that anymore. And I'm a little sad over it. But like I still want to be there for him.

And I don't want to be like, oh, like this is just ruining us or whatever. Yes. Well, I mean, let me just ask this is just is this a period of time because of your your changing situation is that what it is? Yeah and it's just a lot of like getting used to that because we haven't really like done anything like this before so Yeah I mean I would just I mean it's always hard in these situations But like I would just think that you have to figure out like what's the best way for you to both be happy in your current situation

I'm assuming that it's not going to be forever. So you need to make sure that you're, yeah, you need to make sure that you both are at least seeing each other enough that it's not going to get like incredibly frustrating. But in your situation, I think you should just focus on like what you want rather than just like worrying about being supportive for him or, you know, just like make sure you know what's enough for you. And then, you know, you can just have like open conversations with what he expects

in the current situation and then just try to honor each other's wishes as much as you possibly can. Every relationship, regardless of the changing circumstance, every relationship goes through phases where you do more together. Sometimes you do less together. Like, it's totally normal. So the fact that you're even trying to stay on top of it shows that you got a good shot, you know?

Thank you. So I wish you the best. I mean, in the future when we're going hard on the live streaming, we can get loads of advice in the chat. Yeah. How old are you, by the way? I'm 26, almost 27. You guys are young.

You're going to be fine, though. You know, I don't like people being dismissed. You guys are young, but yeah, well, I did. I felt like I was old when I was 26, too, and I promise you, I give everything to go back to the way that my niece felt when I was 26. All right, that's fair. So I wish you the best. Tell him to message in next week, and we'll see what he thinks about everything.

I'm just kidding. No, he probably will. That would be a great, that would be a great podcast. I just want to give a show to Hannah. Let's get two sides to... What's that? I just want to give a shout to Hannah because I was just at her show the other week in Boston. So I just wanted to say how to that.

Oh, cool. She loved that show. She loved that show. She was actually in the chat earlier, but she obviously, she must have like... She must be going through TSA right now. Well, thanks so much for dialing in. Thank you so much. And you've been part of an experimental episode.

You guys have really made my day. So we'll talk to you soon. Thanks so much. Thank you so much, Des. It was so nice chatting with you. Okay. Well, I'm going to wrap it up here, guys. I wrapped it up.

Well, I guess I better do a proper wrap off now because the wrap up at the end of the other episode will sound a bit weird. But thanks to everybody that dialed in, also everybody that was in the chat, I will figure out a way to do this. What, you know, I think, Either we'll do the odd live episode like this,

or maybe we'll just do it where like we have a couple of callers every week. I'll figure it out. But it's, you know what would be great is if maybe, so here's a thought. Maybe in the future, but don't quote me on this. We'll do a thing where rather than like people link in calling into the tell being, they just send what they want to talk about. with their email. And then I can invite, you know, the people whose stories I think will be good for that

particular episode. Not that I want to offend people that I don't respond to, but, you know, you send it, you forget about it. And, you know, you get an email back a couple of days later. It's like, hey, we want to chat to you. Be available during this time. And we can record it this way. So thanks to everybody.

everybody that hasn't been on the chat oh yeah Maddie that's a great idea Maddie right at the end your message is in on the chat we should do live call let me use my show method hey we should do live callers

where we all just say our favorite Des and Hannah's best quotes well after last week's episode I think people's favorite quote of mine is Hannah when she said something outlandish anyway there's just a lot of cool technology that we've been messing with here.

I think we're going to have to start doing more video. So, the episode should be up tomorrow, but who knows, it might end up being Tuesday. I'm going to go do some ads now, and we will talk to you guys next week. Thanks so much for being part of our first live calling experiment. See you guys soon. Bye-bye.