Berner Phone - Berner Phone #119: Controversial Takes

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

The dialers are letting us in on the thing they hate that everyone else seems to love. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows

Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hello, Governor. Oh, Hannah, please. Well, people don't know this about us,

but we do speak in a British accent for like 80% of our relationship. And I read somewhere that it's a good sign. Really? Because it means you could be silly. I do have to do a call back Can we can we start like officially? Yeah we're this is started

We've been started You normally say hello welcome to Bernifel Hello welcome Welcome to Bernifel Oh my God Hannah What is with you? You guys I'm so tired I'm in the middle of tour

We're both tired We're both sick We're both tired We're not going to argue over who's more tired But I have to say last episode everyone was loving our impressions of each other. Oh, really? I think it was mostly there liking your impression of me.

Who was telling you that they were liking our impressions? My mom. No, but the best thing about my impersonation of you is I'll do it to people who don't know you and they think it's funny. And then they eventually actually hear you talk and they go, oh, that's exactly how you talk. They think I'm doing some crazy caricature. And then earlier this week, I was in a car and the driver talked just like you. And I was like, is there any chance you're from Flushing Queens?

And he's like, that's exactly where I'm from. Well, he's from College Point, or Garbage Point, as we called it. So then you and him, I was telling, they were like, ask him about the roller rink around the corner on Corona. No, he was a, no, he was, he's talking. There was a roller hockey rink in College Point, actually. But let's not, come on, we're not going to bore the listeners with this 1980s, Queens lore. You don't have to judge if the listeners are going to be entertained by everything.

They will tell us in the Spotify comments if they don't like anything. I'm aware, but here's the thing between the difference between me and you. I see them. You never go in there. I didn't even know there was comments. I still think it's a made-up thing you're using to control me. Yeah. You say, oh, the Spotify comments.

Welcome to the episode, everybody. We had our first male listener make a complaint in the Spotify comments. About what? Doesn't like being referred to as a little dialer. Well, that sounds like he's projecting some of his own inner insecurities onto us. Yeah, I knew the guys, listen. Mostly female listenership, but I knew the guys wouldn't like a little dialer. Okay, to my little dialers and one really big, strong dialer.

Yeah, one masculine dialer. Hey, listen, don't. These are our listeners, Hannah. No, I know. Anyways, I'm super excited about the prompt today. It's one of those that's simple, but I feel like it's really going to let people go off. And it's what's something everyone loves that you hate. And I know it's a good one because people were like just messaging me. Like, they're like, I can't even send this in through voice money.

You just send you a list. And they were just sending me lists of stuff. A lot of admin for me this week in a good way. because we were inundated. Indedated. DJ Desi was booked and busy. Inundated. Okay.

And I just want to say for the record that I omitted any messages about Taylor Swift. But they were 30% just for the record. It is funny. It's like a group control group to see like what the world thinks. Well, it's a guarantee that you're going to get a lot of people responding to the most popular things. Yeah.

Well, what's interesting about like mainstream or popular culture is firstly you could be like when something's really popular, my first instinct is to like roll my eyes. Like even like, for example, K-pop demon hunters, insanely popular. You think it's not my demo. I probably won't like the music. Came across one of the songs and was like, this is the greatest thing I've ever watched. There's a lot of things that I've never. I walk out.

Have I said that before? I think you told me, but I don't know if you said it on the pod. That's iconic. There's so many things that, like, I haven't, like TV shows I haven't watched, that I've been like, okay, well, I'm not going to like it. But then you realize there's a reason, at least, that a lot of people like it. But then there is some stuff that is valid that maybe shouldn't be as popular as it is. Let's see.

Oh, okay, let's get right into. I like this, Hannah. I'm normally the one that's pushing to get it. You're just, you just want to get into it. There's no foreplay today. Wait, I was thinking of, I was thinking about this new bit about how like men treat foreplay the way I treat the opening sequence of like a Netflix show. I just skip that.

Yeah, well, no, because, you know what it is? Because relationships are like a series, right? So like episode one, you watch the opening credits because you want to hear the song, you want to know what they're doing. But then by the time you get to episode three, you're skipping it. So that's a good bit. That's a good bit. So you're saying like,

men of four plays like, you watch episode one, there loads of foreplay by episode three, they're like, skip, can we just get to the... And by the first episode,

you're like, I love this character. And by the fifth episode, that's like, that's all she does. Give her a character arc. She's so annoying. Stop talking about plurbus.

Are you talking about plurbus? Nope. But people's reaction. People's reaction to... To Carol. on pleurbas. If you're watching plural, it's not a spoiler, but this is just, this is about people's reaction. So,

female lead, right? Flawed character, right? When you think about all the flawed men that people just adore, from Walter White to Tony Soprano. Wait, what are people saying about it? Oh, they hate her. They're like, how could she be so miserable? It's like, it's the fucking end of the world, dude.

I didn't mind that she was miserable. No, spoilers, Hannah. It was just like, no, I just thought it was. was a lot of yelling. I was like, in the first two episodes. What do you mean? I felt you. She yelled twice.

I was just like, babe, there was, it was every line was like a yell. But that was like how she wanted to do the character. But then I stepped back and I said, am I being a misogynistic pig? Yeah, good. Check yourself. And you know what? That's what happens when you grew up with 2000s rap. No, honestly, I really think that there's a serious amount.

of sexism with the immediate response of like questioning the character of Carol and how she's reacting to this situation. But that's also just women in general. I feel like anything women do, there's so much more immediate judgment where men, everyone just assumes they're competent. Like I'm thinking about like the workplace where it's like when a guy gives a speech, you might be like, that was kind of annoying, but he's legit because he's a man. Where if a girl does it, it's like, this is like.

disaster. What's that? Why is she saying like that? What's going to mhm-w-w-w-w-w-h-h-h-h-ha-sla. But also, everybody's like, oh, this is what I would do if I was, you know, the world was taken over by a virus. But like, they have no idea how they would react. But anyway, listen, we're not going to get, you got to watch Plurbus, everybody. It's a really amazing series.

You got to, but I do, I did like, I think her character in episode three and four was yelling less and I enjoyed it more. Yeah, I'm just not seeing all the yelling, man. Like, I just, I don't know why everyone's expecting so much poise during this incredible event. Not poise. Not poised. I just felt like it was a certain volume that, like, stayed too long.

But again, if it was a man yelling, would I be like, this is normal? Yeah, exactly. Go in the comments of my videos. It's like literally half the comments. Oh, yeah, there's a rumor that you're like on cocaine in every video. People always say that I'm on cocaine. And I love telling him that I'm 30 years clean and sober. You know, it's just to make them feel guilty.

But isn't, I wish people... I love when people say, this is as funny as cancer. I'm like, I had cancer and I made that funny too, so go fuck yourself. Ew, who says that? You know, who says that all... People say this stuff all the time.

This is as funny as cancer? Okay, good one. Yeah, well, that... Okay, everyone's a comedian now. The troll them is... Okay, let's go. Let's get into it. Let's get into it.

All right, let's do one close to your heart, Hannah. Hi, Hannah. Hi, hi, Dez. Okay, something that I hate the... everybody else is obsessed with. Stanley water bottles. I mean, you don't realize how often you knock over your water bottle until you have Stanley water everywhere. It's too much admin. And it's just too damn big. Like, I can't be carrying that around all the time. Whatever happened to water bottles that were plastic, you took on a hiking trip, and then you just use them for work. Bring them back.

There you go, Hannah. Well, this is the thing that I'd say about Stanley. They're too heavy. when they fall over, you flood your apartment. You also scare the neighbors. You get a noise complaint. Everyone's terrified. I think it was a fucking bomb threat. And then also, I'm not cleaning it the way I should. So I'm, like, developing new strands of COVID in it.

And, um... Well, you could actually develop, like, cure. You know, a lot of, like, molded bacteria end up, like, saving the world. So you never know. You could be cultivating some life-saving bacteria. Oh, that's valid. Like, that's how penicillin was invented, right? Someone's Stanley.

Just some guy wasn't watching as Stanley. But I do think also there's not even that much water in it. Like, it's not like that much more water than anything else. I think it's just people like the idea that there's a handle and that there's a straw. So then you can feel like a baby again, just like suckling on your mom's team. But there is some temperature control there too, right? Isn't that part of it? Yeah, but what's funny is I never make it cold water.

like I don't put ice in it. And Paige was like, that's literally the only reason people use family. Yeah, that's the point, right? I'm just like very European. You can do hot too in it, right?

I've never tried. So according to my on the ground, parenting slash child report, Lucy, Nikki's daughter, says that like Stanleys are going out now that like the girls aren't bringing them into school as much. What are they bringing?

They're just, they're just. She's like, waters out. We don't drink anymore. Stanley's are kind of done already. Back to plastic? Just, I don't know. Just, you know, like last year, I found out that Lucy wanted a Stanley for Christmas and that they were all bringing in Stanleys to school.

And apparently they're already like on the outs. Well, once I walked to a yoga class with my Stanley and by the time I got there, my arm was so tired, I couldn't walk back with it. And I just left the Stanley at the yoga studio. You got to swap back in. fourth, you can't, you can't fatigue one arm, you know? No, like, I actually was cramping up. I got tennis elbow from my Stanley.

But anyway, I'm, I, but it is a good weapon. It's a good weapon if someone tries to, um, assault you. Okay, let's keep it, let's keep them directed at Hannah early on. Hey, Hannah and Des. Um, I know this is going to be really triggering for you, Hannah, but freaking crocks. Crocs, no, ugs, ugh. ugly crox and ugs i can't i can't do it get him out of my face love you though stop with the crox goodbye oh that's directed right at you and by the way well this one of our

one of our top five that came in was crocs i love her because look the page coded gigglers just like to keep me in my place and i appreciate them and i love them and i don't know who i'd page would burn them really see i'm not a big big gigglers i just like to keep me in my place and i appreciate them and i'm See, I'm not a big crox guy either, and I actually just think that they're, like, dangerous. Sometimes you, like, get up to a gallop, you get up to a trot in your crocs, and I'm like, this is a recipe for disaster. Me? Yeah. You know, like, crox are just, like, for walking around the house, in my opinion.

But you, you'll, like, start, you started playing tennis one day at Crocs. I was like, oh, my God, this is. I nearly called 911 in advance just to prepare for the disaster. No, do you know where crocs are actually the most dangerous? in an airport. Yeah, I mean, why would you even, why would you do that? Because the floor is like marble, and there's something about the rubber and the marble

that you just, like, get stuck. And, like, I trip the entire time when I'm wearing crocs. It's better on, I don't know, it's better on, like, a normal sidewalk. But this is my thing. Life is too short for me to tie my shoes. I'm not tying my shoes. Ever heard of Velcro? I'm a toddler.

Why don't you get Velcro? I'm... I have Velcro shoes right here. Yeah, what's wrong with that? I have Velcro. I have crocs. I have Ugs. I love a slip-on.

I hate the tying of shoes. It's 2025. We're not using strings anymore. Wow. Really. Unless I'm like an Olympic athlete, I don't need strings on my shoes. Do you know how embarrassing is to be an adult

and your shoes get on? Tide? I'll never recover. To like in the middle of Midtown Manhattan be like, oh my God, I have to tie my shoes. Well, it's disgusting when they get on tide on like a rainy day in Midtown. It's disgusting. I'll just jump into traffic. I'll be like, this is it.

Did your generation have like a vans phase or no? Yeah, we had vans. We were really into converse. Yeah. Every generation has a converse moment. No, but one of my guy friends fully like wore them. to his basketball game. Like, he thought he was being, like, retro cool.

And, like, he almost tore his ACL because they're not, you're not supposed to play basketball on them. But, yeah, Converse, vans. We were, like, Stan Smith's, Jordans. Yeah. No, I was just curious at the vans, because they could do the slip-on vans. And, well, the vans were, like, the, like, skater dudes.

Yeah. Or, like, the Hot Topic girls. Well, they would definitely, I feel like every generation has a vans phase. All right, this is, we're coming for you again, Hannah. Hey Hannah, hey Des. Love the Pod. Huge giggler here. Hannah is really not going to agree with this. So I apologize in advance. And I'm, I still love you. But something that I literally hate with a passion is ketchup. I will die on this hill. Like, it's disgusting. Like the smell, the taste, the texture. All of it is gross. I work with. kids, they all love it. And I can't work with them when they're eating ketchup. Like, I simply can't do it. Other people need to open the ketchup packets for me. My family loves it. I need to sit. I literally

need to sit at a different table when there's ketchup around. And my dad's trying to do, like, desensitization, like feeding therapy with me. And I'm just like, no, like, I can't. I can't. I literally like, heena, it's disgusting. I'm sorry. Okay, bye. Oh my God. I mean, you know that. Okay. Dez agrees. I agree. Except I like ketchup on a burger. That's it. That's it. Well, this is the thing. ketchup in certain context, I totally get it. Like, just a rogue thing of ketchup that someone was using on a plate is, like, disgusting. But this is my thing. Or like, you have a step on a ketchup packet? I mean It's a murder scene

It just kill me now Like Oh God Or like When you're cleaning up You know when you have to like If you're like with kids And you have to clean up like at McDonald's

And you have to like put all their stuff in a tray And there's like open ketchup Like like the discarded ketchup packet Is my literal nightmare The ketchup packet I think has Took It been bad for the ketchup brand Because once you try to open it

like it doesn't ever like nicely go where you wanted to go you need to take a shower afterward like it starts spraying like a super soaker um but i do have to say her situation in particular i don't think it's her fault because it's like if you work at a um movie theater you eventually are going to get nauseous from the smell of popcorn like when you have too much of something around and i think that like her dealing with the kids with their ketchup packets every day like it's It struck a chord. I don't think it developed there. I think she had it already.

She had it and now she's like... I think she... Yeah. Because I really... Tortured against her will. The one... If we have children someday, the one thing I'm really not looking forward to

is like the disgusting hands, the food all over the place, you know, that stuff. That's really... Well, I'm doing the full like you eat and then I'm throwing you in the sink. Right. Right.

Right. Like I'm not, because I'm going to warn you, our kids can be messy. Our kid is going to do. Really? The way my little nephew, Bobby, ate a penny al-vodka and died his entire body orange was truly incredible. Like, actually skillful. Like, I'm like, how did you even artistically do that? But I do think with ketchup, too, I'm crazy because, like, if I get brunch and it's like, eggs and sausage and crispy hash browns and there's no ketchup. I like can't. Really? I'm like, what do you want me to raw dog this? Just like dry heave it. Like I can't I need ketchup to add the sweet you know texture to it all. I do to say some ketchup that's like supernatural that's crazy too. What do you mean? And I don't I'm like when it's like this is homemade ketchup from the farm that we we grew and we had orphans pick them and then grind it into an homemade jam and sometimes

that tastes fucked up. Oh, you don't like the flavor, yeah. But you know what? What do you think about a breakfast with like a roasted tomato? Uh, to add some sweet acidity. I never need it, you know? A roasted tomato doesn't bother me like ketchup does, but... Wait, so you just eat hash browns without ketchup. Yeah, but I'm not a big hash browns. guy in general. But... That's like eating French fries without ketchup. But I don't eat French fries with ketchup.

And you know that. I hate... And you know that. I can't even take a French fry off your plate if it's been in the proximity of ketchup. Oh yeah. If anything touches the ketchup. I know that. We've talked about it before. I know. I do like,

you know what I love. A mayonnaise ketchup mix. Yeah. The swirl is also one of my great nightmares that you... The swirl that you've just discussed is actually one of the the most disgusting things in the world to me.

You know? How do you even deal with when we have to eat together and I like... That's your... I have a ketchup. I literally... Put the food... I put the food in my mouth

and then I take a ketchup bottle and just put it in my mouth and then I chew it. You don't, number one, and number two, what you do on your plate is your business. You know? Separate. lives together. That's the, that's the, that's the, that actually, the, the wonder of marriage. That is our secret, because if you, like, cared about what I was doing on my plate, there'd be a lot

of drama. But that's a good marriage advice. Focus on your own plate. Listen, there's a couple things about Hanna's plates you need to know. One, it's going to be a lot of ketchup on it. And two, and dinner is done, all the vegetables are still going to be on it. Anything green, you're still going to be there. But she's going to order. She's going to order it with this feeling that today's going to be the day that I eat the ketchup. But then it's still going to be there. I eat the vegetables. That I eat the vegetables.

Yeah. You'll never eat them. I know. You said ketchup. I will eat the ketchup. Also, ketchup is a vegetable. Okay. Officially, tomatoes are a fruit, apparently.

Officially. Oh, true. Never mind. I was so cocky about that. Also, when we go to a restaurant, my section always looks like a restaurant. always looks like I got in a fight with the food and lost. And it's like all over the place. And Des is always like, oh my God, so messy.

But the famous line that my dad has whenever I'd get a boyfriend is he would go, Has he seen you eat? Yeah. Well, I told them about our fancy dinner at Young Sick, three-star Michelin Restaurant. But they did have to come over halfway through the meal and clean a hand a section. Do you know what they had to do? They're like obsessed with it looking perfect. they put a replacement

tablecloth over your section that's what they did they had to patch they had to patch your section of the table they had to redo the whole section oh Hannah's got a yawn Hannah's hardcore tour in here

you know I'm feeling it I still have to shower before my show I'm a little jet leg also but hey we're not complaining we did get kind of a complaint with someone's like hey if you're sick you can take a day off so you know well that's because the little dialers and the one

Big Diler. They love us. But you guys, if we didn't want to do this, we wouldn't do it. No one's fucking forcing us to do it. This is the only time we speak in our marriage. Yeah, we have to, we can't, we can't express our love unless it's for a performance. For content. Yeah. We can only express love through content performance. This is our date night, you guys. This is our highlight of the week. All right, this is, we're both not going to like this one. Okay. So I'm calling to tell on a friend of mine. If you can believe that this bitch, she hates Billy Joel. Billy Joel, an American icon, treasure. He even got Christy Brinkley to marry him. I mean, piano bars wouldn't even exist if it weren't for

the piano man, right? And she has this just pure disdain and hatred for Billy Joel. Anywho, I'll tell him myself, too. I hate everybody loves Raymond. It's even in the title, everybody loves him. I hate him. All right, bye. I actually didn't realize the second part was in there. Oh my God. Well, look. Now, I know we have one male listener, and this isn't about you because you're perfect, but like I will always support someone like hating a man. However, Billy Joel and Raymond Romano are two men that I do not hate. I think there's so many more men to hate than those two. I mean, she's ratting out her friend, which is fair enough. But I've always, listen, Billy Joel, it's easy to hate them, right? super popular. A lot of people felt like, oh, he's just, you know, he was just somebody that understood how to make a hit, but, like, didn't have any, like, that didn't have any, you know,

like feeling behind it. You know, all these things that... If everyone, didn't have feeling behind it. I know what you were saying. You watched the documentary. I know. I'm not arguing with you. I'm, not arguing with you. I'm agreeing with you. I'm agreeing with a queen's accent. Billy Joel wrote about his experiences. Billy Joel is an incredible songwriter. Billy Joel, the only way he expresses himself is through the art of music. And Billy Joel is just a sweet guy from Long Island. And don't, yeah, don't just hate people because they're popular.

And before you just assume they got it easy or they, you know, they know some kind of trick or they tricked everyone to think they were great or they had, if it was that easy, everyone would do it. Yeah, because like, listen, here's the thing. my in my, particularly my adolescence, but my childhood on the radio, but then in my adolescence through my actual,

through my own searching, because I think somebody gave me a copy of Billy Joel's greatest hits. Like, I, I adored those songs, and it's not cool to admit it, you know? Like, you know, and Ireland, sometimes you get asked to go on these radio shows,

and they're like, you know, pick the songs of your childhood. So they want you to, like, pick a song from, different stages of your life that means something to you. But from my initial one, I picked Billy Joel because I was like, you know, I say to the DJ, I was like, I listen to these people that pick a song from their childhood. And they're always picking a song that there's no way in hell they were into that song.

You know, it's like, oh, this is my childhood. It's a Radiohead song. Now, I love Radiohead. But you didn't like Radiohead when you were 10, bro. I'm sorry. No. You were listening to something that your parents had on. And I love.

loved all the... Like, you're kidding me? We're driving in the car and the long expressway coming back from a modeling job. She's always a woman to me. I didn't get into that until I heard

until I got the greatest hits. No, the ones that I remember from my childhood because they were on the radio were like, for the longest time. Whoa. Those things were just in the car.

Iconic. I also, my nan and Papa got a hold of like the Beatles' greatest hits and I was like living with them during that time and they just had it on repeat. Help. I need somebody. Help. Not just anybody.

Help. I was so younger, so much younger than today. Are you going to sing the also? Yeah, but all day. I'm not. You have to stop me. That's the rule. You have to stop me.

I go to like, I go until someone puts a foot down. But yeah, it's, and also there could be just like a random song. Yeah, I hate when people say like the most coolest song ever. I'm like, stop it. Just be honest, man. Like I get it. You got older, you got into cool music, but you weren't as cool as you're trying to pretend. Don't like, sort of like create a whole new narrative about how cool you were as a kid.

But this is my thing, like what is cool music, stuff that most people don't like? Is that cool? You are, listen, you're, you need to broaden your musical horizons. Oh, wait. So I'm going to push back a little bit. Those things I have, does things I have bad taste in music. Sorry, I love the top 40. Also, I think I wasn't, I'm not a big music listener,

except for working out pump-up music. Like, that's all I care about, getting ready for a show, getting ready for a match, hype up, misogynistic, rap. That's what I want to listen to. You literally play about 40 songs ever. That's kind of your repertoire. Well, I have, I'm neurotivergent,

so when I like a song, I have to listen to it 400 times, then I'll never listen to it again. And who told you you a neurodivergent, Dr. Tick-Tic-Tac? Yeah. Wonderful. And that's how I am with outfits And that's how I am with food

And that's how I am with men I'm just kidding I also want to say But I've met Ray Romano Many times And he is without doubt The nicest man in comedy And I've heard that from so many people

Especially when you factor in His fame and success He is incredibly He could be such a day If we wanted to Just as genuine As probably the day He started doing comedy

just he's a real one. So even though I get it, you don't like everybody loves Raymond and I'm fine with that. Absolute legend. And by the way, after we watched the Emmys, I believe, it was Brad Garrett and Ray Romano's rapport

were amazing. Exceptional. And then I got it. I was like, ah, see, part of that. Well, that's the thing. Sometimes you just don't get it. I mean, I got the show. I got the show. I got the show. But what I mean is like, I just didn't understand Like, what was it about that show?

And then you realized, like, oh, they just got, they had the secret sauce. And the wife was great. Yeah, and Peter Boyle and the mom. Yeah, I actually can't remember the actress's name that played the mother. I do, I have this new thing that I've been trying to do over the last year, which is, like, be more of a fan of things. Because I, like, you know, in internet culture, you see how much fandom there is and how many people are, like, obsessed with something. And that's why I started, like, I never followed musicians.

A musician ever put out an album and I like listened to a whole whole thing. I'd wait for it to like trickle down for someone to tell me like this is the good song in the album. And then I listened to it. I never like cared to have my own opinions or like. I just was like everyone tell me what to like. So there is something beautiful about even if everyone else likes it too, you deciding like this is for me. I like. Yeah.

So I'm working on hobbies and being a fan of things. Like I'm a fan of Nashville now. Yes. And it actually has helped my social life Because there's some friends in my life Who you know You can only talk about so many things Then I bring up

Is anyone else watching Nashville And next thing you know I have like a whole new friendship with someone Who loves Nashville also Dancing with the Stars is a new thing It's reconnected me and my Nana Me and Haley So I'm realizing

You know It is a social thing too To enjoy things I mean I'm trying to enjoy things I think you should probably try To get a cameo on Nashville And probably

in about three years, you should be on Dance with the Stars. But you've got to do it early enough that you're still in peak physical shape. I don't think Nashville runs. Oh, it's finished? Wow. Yeah. I can't wait until... One thing I haven't gotten involved into is Grey's Anatomy.

Everyone loves Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, I never watched it. I'm just scared of... I'm scared of hospital shows. And it's one of those things that I'd be like, everyone loves it. I don't go fuck about it. Yeah, I was never really into hospital shows, though, funnily enough. But the thing is, I've never tried it.

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Don't forget to use our link so they know we sent you. All right, let's, I'm going to take it off of ones that are coming for you. Well, actually, speaking of TV shows. Babe, I don't mind. No, this, this one, this one I care about it. I like attention in any form. This is what I care about this one. I hate the Walking Dead.

It's such a bullshit. show. First couple seasons, somewhat believable, kind of capturing. And then once I got to the point where there was one dude with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire who had a bunch of people with machine guns shaking in their goddamn boots. I couldn't do it anymore. That was the most bullshit show I've ever seen. That threw me off. I couldn't watch it or take it seriously past that point and every time I would try and watch an episode and I'd be like okay this is the time like someone's actually

going to shoot him and then there'd be a scene with like him swinging his baseball bat and four people holding guns and not one of them is even trying to aim or get anything done like it was the most useless people in a TV show and I'll never understand why people like it. Not

not even a little bit I mean I guess I should have done a spoiler alert but what an absolutely great review of when that show went to shit. But here's the crazy thing is it was actually after four, so four seasons of Walking Dead, I think could be wrong, but it was definitely more than two. I'm going to say four seasons of Walking Dead were like incredible. And then unfortunately the Neegan storyline, which the people that read the graphic novels like couldn't wait for Neegan, they just did a very bad job in the TV show. So it's one of those things where it's like some shows are just only meant to be like

four seasons and then you keep dragging it out. And like, now they have this whole walking dead universe and it's like, guys, you know, it's just, it's done. I do think when you've been with the show for so long, you're like rooting for it it so you appreciate it. But again, like it hurts when you see it's jumped the shark, which is clearly I had to, I had to give up on it, man. I had to give up.

My best friend. Well, yeah, because it's like a heartbreak. You're like, this isn't the show I love. I was so into it, man. Who are you? I was a real. A walking dead guy, and it really let me down. So Becca loved Walking Dead.

I don't know. I think I'm, like, weird back then. I was, like, really afraid of violence. And that was, like, her show. Like, she'd put it on. I'd be like, okay, I'm going in my room. Like, I just didn't watch it. We watched New Girl together.

Yeah, I've never watched New Girl. But let me tell you about the thing that always bugged me about Walking Dead is like, they'd be like this big moment where they'd figure out a trick. Listen, guys, there's some spoilers coming right now. So if you've never watched the Walking Dead and you think you want to waste your time watching it, then don't listen to this. but, uh, so there's this thing like they figure out like, oh, you can, you can cover yourself fucking zombie blood and then they don't fucking smell you.

And then like for three or four more seasons after that, they don't fucking do that. It's like, yo, why the fuck would you ever go out without rapping yourself in the fucking security blanket of fucking zombie blood? It makes no fucking sense. There was so much. The writers were like, uh, that doesn't work anymore. Guys, we have to forget the fucking zombie blood thing, you know? I also, I think every show, like you love podcasts about the shows.

That's my new thing. That's my new thing. I think every show should have a reality show going on of what's also happening in the writer's room. Yeah. Well, you always say, like, even when we were watching The Last of Us, you're like, zombie movies, they're good in the beginning and then they get back. 100%. But that was a fact. You know?

But I feel like the new zombie movie is the AI movie. I remember what I was going to say. What? You know, one of the things that always bothered me about shows like The Walking Dead was like, I'm like, you know, society like always immediately breaks down and these like horrifically violent factions. Like that's ridiculous. But then, I don't know, I kind of, the last couple of years in America, I've been like, you know what? I actually think it would be like that. I really do.

Like, I'm not kidding. Like, literally just. No, it's man eat man. Yeah. It's a man. It's a dog-e-dog world. So I actually, I actually. It's the vegans?

I do think. The vegans are out for you. other. That's why like when it comes to the end of the world like I think you can't be a liberal because like the liberals are just going to they're not going to survive in the apocalypse. Anyway, by the way, it's pretty obvious if you watch my Instagram. I'm clearly a liberal. I'm making fun of myself there just in case that was misconstrued in any way, shape or form. Anyway, that's a walking dead. Walking dead. I just say Ali, Ali Colbert, big friend of the pod, has an amazing.

bit where she's like if there was a zombie apocalypse the liberals be fucked because they'd be like it's not those zombies they're the unalived oh that's funny that's funny um all right this is interesting hannah hi hannah um first of all adore you adore goodly's quad just you're the best but my thing that i hate that everyone else loves is pivel patches i don't get why we've normally them. I don't get why we've normalized wearing them out of the house. Just have pimple. It's okay. It's weirder to have a blue star on your face. Why are we acting like that's normal? Okay, bye. I love you. Amen, sister. I didn't know you had a strong opinion about this. Every another, I'm like, what is that?

You're like, oh, it's a pimple patch. I'm like, what? Okay, first of all, love this girl. Second of all, I do think the Gen Zs have made it cool. where like before it was like shameful to have a pimple where like when they have a pimple they're like proud of it almost like I get a face accessory but there's something about me being 34 walking around with a star bright neon green pimple patch on my face that definitely throws people like they definitely look at me like eight times there are these ones that are like clear that I wear but those are arguably even

weirder because it looks like I have like a skin mole my thing is I think they actually do work. I used to put toothpaste on it. Yeah, that was that was also, that was also bad, by the way. That was, I'd wake up and I'm like, did I like, why am I in a mint, like, tornado? Um, it'd be everywhere in the bed. But, um, now I put a pimple patch on before I go sleep when I feel something coming on and then I wake up and I take it off. So that's how I like to use it. And, um, is which, is which hazel still thing? Which hazel pads or? I've, definitely like been on TikTok and they've been like which hazel will solve everything and I've bought it and then I've never used it before. Because when I was in my acne years, I remember they

had the circular, you know, like the, you know, like a plastic canister. The truth is, if if you have an acne problem, you need to go to a doctor and they will give you a medicated thing like to put on your face like a prescription. I had very, I had various ones. Retinae. No pimple patches are going to help with your like, serious. acne, but if you're like me where you get the occasional like phone pimple, because you don't wash your phone in three years, and you throw one on, it is, it works overnight for sure. You never had the real adolescent acne. You didn't go through the... I did have, I did have forehead acne. I did, well, actually, oh my God, I might add this to my show because I'm talking about why

millennials have TMJ and like stressful things. TMJ? And I, TMJ is when, your jaw hurts. Oh, right. Sorry. Sorry. It's a millennial thing. And I say like the reasons, but I think one of the reasons is we all had to be on proactive. Proactive like took over in America. Message in the Spotify comments if you were on proactive. But it was like the acne system. And it came with like four different steps. And like everyone was on it. And it's like a cleanser and this and this. And it was like drying the fuck out of your skin. But yeah, everyone was on proactive for the. like 10 years. Also, I think I just had to grow out of like the hormonal stage where I had,

I just had acne on my forehead. But then there was this time where Kendall Jenner was going to like make a big announcement and everyone's like, everyone's, she's going to come out that she's a lesbian. And she goes, I want to let you guys know that I have acne. And that's why I use proactive. Oh my God. And everyone has like all these conspiracy theories about what she was going to announce. And then she's like, oh, it's proactive for my acne. And we're like, we know, we all do. Thank you. But now I don't, I guess proactive still exists,

but it was like the thing to use in middle school. I would have had to make an announcement in my adolescence. I would have, hey, I need to make an announcement. I have acne and I'm on acutane and it may or may not have contributed to a complete mental breakdown between the ages of 16 and 17. Wait, I do have to say, guys, acutane, people don't talk about. causes people to lose their mind, depression, huge mental illnesses.

I do believe... I don't know. No, I... Just so you know, I believe that there was a court case and they were found not liable just for the sake of legality. Okay, allegedly.

But like if you're on acutane right now and your life is falling apart, go off acutane. But let me just say, icutane is incredible. You know? Yes. Like it absolutely works.

You know? Yeah. So. But it's like, do you want clear skin and losing your mind? Well, yeah. You know, that's not proven. No, but I have to say, like, I didn't even think of making a connection at the time. And it's very hard to say because if you have acne, it's because you're like most, you're,

you're in the middle of puberty. And it's like, is it puberty that's driving you crazy? It's very hard to say, you know? Well, then Accutane, Alex Earle was on it and she told everyone it made her nose smaller. Made her nose smaller? So, like, all the girls started going. Yeah. That's what she's.

Because she looks very different than she did a couple years ago. And she was like, it's the acutane. Dr. Accutane, certified plastic surgeon. Anyway. But also people look differently as they old, as they age older. What's next? Let's, uh, this one might get you going. Hi.

It's your favorite lesbian listener. I love you guys. Hannah, I'm seeing you in January in L.A. I feel like this prompt. I love this prompt. much. The thing that I hate that everyone loves is concerts and also a lot of other things, honestly, just going out in general and some of the same things apply to going out than I feel about going to concerts. Like, it's too loud. It's too crowded. I don't like standing for

long periods of time. I'm not a fan of that. My feet start hurting. My back starts hurting. I love music so much. And I understand the appeal of like live music and I guess like seeing a celebrity that you love so much in person, but half the time you're like so far away from them anyway. You don't actually get to meet them and have a conversation with them. I just feel like if I wanted to listen to like really uncomfortably loud music, I could do that in the comfort of my own home and like dance around and vibe. But I really hate concerts. It's like embarrassing. I used to hide it. Oh, she ran. I get it, girl. I'm going to be so real with you. I've never been to a Really?

I went to Dave Matthews festival thing once where I smoked weed for like the second time. But that's a concert. That's a concert. Yeah. No, but like it was like outdoors. We were like on a hill and you could like leave.

The whole concept of a concert also, because I'm not like big on fandom, I don't know like a random song from their second album that they're playing. Like there's also those kind of concerts I feel like where you know like, two of the songs and the rest you're like, oh, we have to sit through this whole thing. But you know what I love.

That just goes to what I was saying earlier. Like you're just not like a broad music fan, which is totally fine. But I love a musical. Like if I'm sitting in a musical and I've never heard the song before, I'm like, oh, this is nice. But like with pop culture stuff when they're just like, a lot of them are just playing the music through a radio and like singing kind of off key to it. I'm like, I don't need you remember this.

You've, the only one live music show you've ever been to is that Dave Matthews thing? Yeah, when I was like 19. You've never gone to any other. No, I almost went to a Lil Wayne concert, which I would have fucking love, but I was too tired. And you almost went to Taylor Swift. Yeah, and I almost went to Taylor Swift. But I do think concerts, I don't know, I feel like definitely during COVID, it got pretty quiet. And then the Erez tour kind of made concerts cool again in a way.

I mean, I've been to some great shows. I've been to some stinkers too, but I mean, I have to say, I can get why some people might not like them, but there are just certain ones that I aren't incredible. I'm not going to bore the listener with my list of the great shows that I've been to. I don't like it being difficult to find the bathroom. I don't like being told I have to stand. Standing is a real deterrent. I do not like standing. I think people who like standing are masochists.

I want to sit. I also don't want to be judged on how I'm enjoying the music. You know, like, am I saying the lyrics well enough? Like, you know, when you make eye contact with someone, you're like, oh, fuck, I better get these lyrics right. Like, I don't need that kind of stress in my life. I can't even think of the best live show I was ever at. But definitely the Beastie Boys was one of the tops.

That's amazing. I want to go to Lil Wayne. I want to go to Nelly. I want to go to... Wow. I don't know. I want to go to radio head. They're touring at the moment.

But you don't like it. like Radiohead and you don't like Seeger Ross and Seeger Ross was one of the best shows I was ever at also. I don't know who that is. Well, one time I picked you up from the train and I, Segar Ross was on the car and we were talking. You were like, what is that? Turn that off. It's drive me insane. I don't even know. I don't even know what you're saying. Secret Ross. They're a, they're a Iceland. Secret. Segar Ross. It's Icelandic band. Wait, I literally was like, turn that off. Yeah. Also, I don't like your alarm.

The alarm clock music that you play. Alarm clock, it's no, it's my alarm. It's not a song. I hate house music. Like, everyone's like, wait for the beat to drop. I'm like, okay, we all know what's going to happen. I like to train to, I like to work out to house music. I don't have a song for my alarm.

No, I'm saying alarm clock music, as in your house music sounds like an alarm clock to me. I never play you my house music. I only exercise to it. Well, I've heard it sometimes. I keep that separate. That's from a compartment of my life that I keep sacred inside my own brain. Honestly, anybody who listens. No, anybody who listens.

If you ever had like a rave era, like an ecstasy era, I think it actually reprograms your brain because you can't escape from the euphoria that comes from listening to that music. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I also didn't have a childhood. So that's probably why I don't like music.

Okay. Oh, Anna, you're not going to like it. Yo, yo, yo. What's up you guys? Love y'all, obviously. Make this quick. Sorry, that was literally not quick at all. Anyways, macha.

The fuck is that. It's disgusting. I'm not really sure why. People are like, it's delicious. It's like a latte. That shit tastes like grass. Why are we putting grass in milk and calling it a latte? That's disgusting.

I don't care what you put in with that vanilla or strawberry or whatever. That's grass. I will. And not the good kind. We'll not be drinking that. Sorry to everyone else in the entire world that loves it. Anyways, pie. I do love you guys. Bye.

Interesting. I love that everyone gets to be their negative Nancy. This is my thing because I couldn't drink coffee for so long because it would make me really jittery and shit my pants. Macha was like requested. Like that would be good. And I like the texture of it. I like when you add a little oat milk or you add a little whole milk with a little bit of sugar and how you can enhance it. But yeah, straight out.

match is disgusting. You have to like make it nice. It's like how I don't like black coffee. Yeah. I don't like straight up macha. But a green macha like middle of the day when you don't want too much of a coffee spike is like, it's beautiful. How's your elimination diet go by the way? Bad. In what way? Well, because I'm back on like in tour modes. So like I got a bacon, egg and cheese this morning. I was fighting for my life in these streets. I'm not in a place to cut parts of my diet. I'm in survival mode.

It's very interesting. I see a lot of people coming for oat milk all of a sudden, which I feel like is very in line with this theme. They say it's high in sugar. High in sugar, yeah. It's like a lot of people coming for the milk alternatives. Well, it's funny because a lot of things, they may be alternative, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it's healthier.

Yeah. And I think sometimes they try to pitch it like it's healthier. when reality is like it's there's pros and cons to everything you're eating, especially if it's processed. I mean, hey, I just launched my cousin Mick, God rest of my late cousin Mick's book

posthumously published and are now available on Amazon called In Defense of Bread. And he wouldn't really like that I'm about to make this very unscientific statement because I'm always quite critical of people diagnosing themselves and things.

But one thing I will say, I did not cut dairy out of my diet, but I stopped drinking regular milk lattes. I drink oat milk lattes. And so I have cut down on the amount of milk consumption. I used to eat a lot of cereal with milk too. So I've cut down a lot on the milk. And the only thing I can say for sure is that my farts

are much less frequently smelly. You know? Like, I don't get the hot ones to the same degree. Same. You know what I mean? Also, I do think they've, they, there are a bunch of cheeses that aren't, don't have lactose that are good. I also, when I was famously when I was younger, because of dairy, I got like tons of ear

infection. So I've always been like rejecting it. Yeah. I just had the smelly farts, you know. But if you're looking for indefensive. Why did you whisper that? You're in a national geographic. I just had the smelly floods, you know.

Actually, I think last week there was a lot of people that were very into my hoarse voice. I think I might have a career when I'm hoarse that I need to do some recordings. But anyway, In Defensive Bread by Professor Michael Gibney is now available on Amazon. Now listen, it's basically about ultra-processed foods, and it tries to sort of be a voice of reason amidst this kind of, chaos around the ultra-processed food debate. People that are just 100% in belief that all ultra-processed food is the devil won't like this book.

However, what I will say is if you're so confident in your opinions, you shouldn't be afraid to have them challenged. In fact, your opinions will be more robust after reading it, even if you choose to dismiss everything that's said. So, but anyway, in defense of bread by making me available on Amazon. That's beautiful, baby. We love that monologue and we love Mick. Okay, I have to head to my show on Coral Springs right now.

I'm back. I'm back in the city. I came back. Hannah's away. And somehow, hey, butter is, butter understands that mommy and daddy have to record because she was meowing like a lunatic when I came in. But she stopped meowing once we started recording. Yeah, because she knows what brings in the money for the family.

It's time for mom and dad. She was like, hey, I need somebody to keep buying those temptations. So you guys got to start recording. She loves her furbo. Yeah. Which is, anyway, I love you guys so much. I got to go. Bye.

Hannah's gone, but I'm going to plug my shows. I've added a ton of new dates. So go to my website. Desbishop. net forward slash live dates. or just go to Punch Up Live. And my dates are on there. And we'll talk to you guys soon.

Spread the word. Love you. Bye. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Des. So something everyone loves that I hate is babies. And honestly, kids too. Like, I don't want to hold your baby.

I don't want to pretend. I'm excited that it weighs exactly seven pounds, three ounces. Like, that means something to me. If you hand me your child, I'm holding it like a hot plate. waiting for someone to take it back. And kids in general, no. I'm glad you love yours. I'm really glad for you.

But I don't need to see daily photo dumps of your toddler, eating yogurt like a feral raccoon. Everyone's always like, look how cute. And I'm like, I think your kid just sneezed into its own mouth. So yeah, baby kids, and it's just a hard pass for me. I mean, I'll love my own, obviously. I mean, it'll probably still be annoying. But just, like, no, no, thank you.

Something everyone loves that I hate is bacon. And I feel scared, even admitting this, because I get so much backlash from the bacon community. But there really is an entire bacon subculture. Like it became a religion at one point. People were getting bacon tattoos. People's Instagram bios was like, bacon is life. It's so overrated. It's like a salty, fatty, fatty.

piece of nothing. I mean, I'll still eat it. Sometimes, like if somebody makes a full breakfast and there's bacon, I'm not going to reject it, but it is the most overrated food. I think in existence. Okay, please don't bacon shame me. I seem to really love and enjoy. Is a bonfire.

I absolutely loathe bonfires. There's smoke constantly coming at you, getting near and your your eyes and your lungs. It's terrible and miserable. You also go home smelling like shit, and you have to have a shower. And I'm a lazy shower girl. It's in every other day, every three days for me. And to force me to get that smell out of my hair is just so rude. And also, like the embers and stuff will like burn and come out into the air. And to air and land on you. The last time I had was at a bonfire, I got a hole in my leggy. Like, what the fuck is this? I absolutely hate it. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Des. My name is Kate and I hate pickles.

Everybody loves them. My server people want to tell me about pickle beers and picklebacks and pickle flavored chips. And I'm like, literally get that away from me. Don't talk about them. I want nothing to do with them. I will send my food back if it touches it. It's a very polarizing topic. But that just leaves more for the rest of you, disgusting people who actually enjoy them. Thank you. Love you guys. Bye. Hi, Mom and Dad. Something that I hate, that everyone else loves, our self-help books. Okay, let's be real with ourselves. We all need help. It's beyond the books. It's beyond the little catchphrases we can post on Instagram that you'll see all over TikTok. We need therapy.

Let's all check into group therapy and call it a day. Okay, bye, I love you. Hey, Hannah and Des, love you both, and Paige. Even though she's not on here, I love her too. But besides the point, one thing that I hate that a lot of people that I know really like is sharing food. I don't like sharing food. I don't want share food. If I'm ordering something, it's because I want to eat it.

I want all of it. I don't want to share it. I also don't want anyone else's food. They've stuck their fork in it. They have eaten off of it. I don't want to try something that someone has made at their own house. I don't know where their kitchen looks like. I'm a bit of a germapope, I guess.

But no, I just, if I want my food and you have your hoof food and I don't.