Berner Phone - Berner Phone 122: Wildest Holiday Traditions Part 2

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

We're back this week with more unique holiday traditions. We're in the thick of the holiday season so the dialers need a distraction. Put your headphones on, ignore your family fighting in the background, and enjoy this episode. get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to Des' shows

Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. It's the holiday episode of... Part two. Burner Phone part two. But it's holiday week.

We are in the swing of it all. We're really... We're on holiday. Mm-hmm. We're feeling it. Mm-hmm. We're going to restaurants and the Christmas music is playing and it feels right. Yes.

Because it does start a bit early these days. It is the same eight songs. Yes. We got to kind of... But I guess there's only so many things to sing about with Christmas. No, I know, but there's only... How many songs are there about love? I mean, there's plenty of songs about love.

True. There's no reason not to broaden out the Christmas songs. Yeah, I don't want to, you know, tell people they have to work harder, but look, we need some new Christmas beats. Oh. Yo, there hasn't been a good new Christmas hip-hop song for a long time. How many Christmas hip-hop songs are there? Well, Justin Bieber has a good one, mistletoe.

That's a hip-hop song? That's pop. That's a pop, come on. No, because Run DMC had, you know, Merry Christmas from Hollis. Okay, we got to bring that back. Well, that's a great one. I don't hear it enough, actually. No, I mean, just the first, like, five minutes of listening to Christmas songs,

you're like, this is fucking euphoric. And then three days in, you're like, I feel like I'm in a torture chamber of jingles. Yeah, I want kind of like, I want kind of like, I think they should be like a campaign, like a government mandate that all the sort of top 100 grossing artists in the next 12 months need to make their best effort at releasing a song. But that they'll get a tax break. You know, like there needs to be like a tax break for Christmas songs. I feel like there should be a TV show of who can make the next best Christmas Carol. Christmas song.

And like, because sometimes these like songs. songwriting shows. Some of the songs are really good. I think we have to do that every year. Yeah, America's got Christmas talent. What are the, what are the shows? The voice. The voice.

Yeah, it could be like the... American Idol. Santa Idol. Yeah. I mean, it needs to happen. Yeah, we got to get more because I'm losing my fucking mind. And then, like, there's songs that got canceled.

You can't sing anymore. So it's just, it's waning. Yeah. Baby's cold outside. Well, that's kind of made, comeback, I guess, because people were like, we can't cancel it, so we don't have enough souls. No, because, have you know, I've been hearing it.

Separate the art from the artist. We, we, I have NPR, NPR comes on the radio. Yeah, if it's playing on NPR, it's back. Yeah. And listen, I'm not, I'm not making an opinion on whether it should have left or not. I'm just saying that there wasn't even enough Christmas songs out there to hold on to the fact that baby it's cold outside is inappropriate. That's what we need calling, this is an APB, calling all pop stars, calling all pop stars,

calling all pop stars. We're on the hunt for a Christmas song. Like, we need one immediately. Also, we've all been there where you're like, I have to go, but like it is cold out and I don't really want to go outside right now. But you said Sabrina Carpenter had one last year? The nonsense Christmas.

It's good. She came out with the whole Christmas special. Also, is that is that holding? Like, the thing is that these songs, they need to get on play, like on the loop.

Hers is, I think, holding. And then Jonas Brothers come out with stuff. So some are trying, but not everyone. Not everyone. They're getting cold this year.

Do Billy Joel have a Christmas? I think he needs to do one before he, you know, before he moves on into the in memoriam section of the Christmas. Okay, that's another record. You brought up death in like five minutes. Hannah. Gotcha.

Gotcha. No, I mean. Gotcha. Who would you like a Christmas? What are the other, by the way, what are the other? I want Cher. I want Cher to do a Christmas song. I want.

She was on SNL this weekend. I want Wham to come back together, do another Christmas. Come on, they've already, if you have an exemption, if you've already created one of the great Christmas songs. Okay. You are aware that William can't get back together, right? Yeah. I want Chapelrone to do a Christmas song.

Olivia Dean has a Christmas song, but it's like she's just singing Christmas songs, but she's great. Eminem should have a Christmas song. Yeah, Eminem should. You only get one shot. Down the chimney. To wrap that Christmas song. It doesn't, yo. We always want to break into freestyle rap, but then we never fully commit.

Yeah, well, that would have been a hard one. That would have been quite the... Does it? Who else should make a Christmas song? I mean, Adele? In sync. Lady Gaga. Yeah, what the hell, lady?

For Ireland and the UK, Robbie Williams. You know? One direction, should have a comeback. Yes. One direction. For Christmas. Yeah, or just Harry Styles on his own. you know are you good at wrapping presents i'm not i'm not i'm not a i'm not a christmas rapper

so like you never wrap presents no i i'm just not good at it you what's your wrapping technique i don't have a technique i i basically survive you fight for your life yeah i just like every time i begin rapping i am convinced that this is going to be the time that i get it right and every time it's not there's always an extra fold or an extra bit of tape i'm actually pretty good at Christmas wrapping. However, some shapes, it's like impossible. You just can't wrap it well. What's that? Some shapes. Like, it's one thing wrapping a box, but when you're wrapping like crazy things. Yeah, I, listen, anything that's not a square rectangle, I'm out. I mean, I have my, I have my attempts. Oh, I'm sneezing. Oh, that's why people put it in the bag.

they put in the bag The Christmas bags have been one of the great evolution You know, we talk a lot about the great inventions of humanity nobody talks enough about the Christmas bag as an acceptable gift-giving you know, wrapping situation

Especially if you're getting people a lot of chotchkis, you throw it all in the bag Yeah, you're more of a chatsky giver Yeah I'm of the opinion that if you're giving chatskis you might as well give nothing That's my thing

Well, I also feel like there's some extended family that, like, I like to give Chachkes to, as opposed to, like, one half-ass thing. Well, here's my thing. If they're extended, then there's no need to extend them a gift. Outside the circle of gift. Mike drop. No, but I just, honestly, you got to, here's my thing. We talked about it last week. Yeah.

You got to shrink the circle of gifts so that you can increase the goodness of the gift. Yeah. There's just no... Nobody needs all this shit that is like under 50 bucks. Sorry. There is also this weird age where like, for example, on 34, and let's say I have extended family, like my cousins, they get me a gift from their family.

But then I have to give a gift to the husband, the wife, and the daughters. It's a... The math isn't math. The math is in mathing. Stuff like that is difficult. Yeah. But I hope everyone has a... enjoys the act of giving.

I bet you there's somebody that's good at math that figures out why it's fairer than you think, but I can't work it out, but... I guess because they got me presents when I was little. I don't, yeah, I'm not sure. There's probably some mathing to that. Anyway, needless to say, it's the season for giving. We're pretty ahead of the game.

I mean, Amazon and all that stuff really helps. I was always at Christmas Eve, stressed out, like in an overcrowded Barnes and Nobles Bay Terrace Queens trying to like buy shit Hot take Which I think someone said this on like a subway hot take And I fully agree

Bring back shopping in person Oh I mean I like shopping in person We had so much fun yesterday Des and I went shopping in person And you get to like touch things You get to choose It's fun Granted it wasn't too crowded

Which was really nice I don't love the whole like having to bulldoze a grandma. We avoided a, we avoided a mole. Yeah. But there is something not as fulfilling shopping on Amazon for people's presence. It's convenience versus experience. At the end of the day, online shopping has it's, there's certain things that are good to buy online.

But I am a big fan of being there, trying it on. But then again, they never have their size. They're always like, oh, it's available online. It's like, well, motherfucker, I'm here now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They, they, that is annoying. But also like, we, we went to a toy shop for the kids. And when you're on Amazon, the nieces and nephews.

They're my kids. No, I know. It's just like. My kids, the kids, the only kids, the only one and three-year-old in the fam. And I, I feel like when you're shopping on Amazon for the kids, it just gets, it's so mindless. And you don't feel like you shop for them. And then the stuff, you just don't feel connected. But when I'm, like, looking at all the things and choosing, it's, it's, it's, you don't,

look, it's about me. It's more fun for me. Yeah, but it's also, you know, pros and cons, right? Because if your nieces and nephew live in, you know, Northwestern Indiana, previous Christmases when we weren't going to see them, you were able to just get it shipped there. True. It saves a lot of hassle. True.

You know, pros and cons. Pros and cons. But yeah, we love shopping. We love shopping in real life. Supporting some small businesses. Trying stuff on. That's really the thing. And less returns.

Mm-hmm. You know? less like, oh, I'll see, and then I have to return it with a shipping label. Well, definitely Christmas shopping. As someone who has highly sensitive skin, I can't buy, like, sweatshirts or sweaters because I need to touch them. Really? Yeah, because I'll see a sweater that's cute. And then it comes, and I'm like, I'll never put that on my body.

It's too scratchy. Yeah. Well, a scratchy sweater, you have to wear an undergarment. Yeah, that's too much admin. Yeah, you're not an, you're not an, you wouldn't like any of the Irish. Oh, God. That's like... Iron sweaters and that.

Torture. Yeah, you can't. But I respect the culture. Yeah. But they're like, let's find the most uncomfortable yarn. Yeah. And make something out of it. So we're going to do a part two of quirky Christmas traditions here.

Yeah. You might find... Of course, I thought of one or two more and I've completely forgotten. You might hear one of these, though, and be like, oh, maybe I want this tradition. Or you can just laugh and be like, that's an insane tradition by that family and judge them. So, yeah, let's get into it. You didn't go to midnight, man. right? No, I'm just asking.

No, no. No, because a lot of the Italians that never went to Mass, they went to midnight Mass. I feel like they went to, I don't know. When we got to an age where we could do shit on our own, midnight mass was fun. And you're just to like see everybody there and it was packed. Was this the Eve? Catholicism in the 80s. Honestly, yeah, it was like Sabrina Carpenter now. Like, peak. You could not get in the church. on sold out. You didn't, you give it some money to get a table?

Honestly, yeah, it's like Goodfellas. You need to know a guy. Come in through the, come in through the rectory. Wait, with this Christmas Eve? Christmas Eve midnight, yeah. Midnight mass. But wasn't Santa starting to work by then? Well, you were, generally,

you would be in an age where you wouldn't be too concerned about Santa's schedule without giving anything away. Were you trying to meet girls? No, just, just, Hannah. Christmas spirit? Yeah, Christmas spirit, midnight. Mass, you know? Rejoice, rejoice,

Emmanuel. You know, stuff just like the churchy Christmas songs that you hate so much. Yeah. But you would sing them in the room. So this was their Super Bowl. This was our Super Bowl. They were like... Hour!

Okay, plural of us. By the way, we're watching a Martin Scorsese documentary on Apple. Just want to let you He's a big Catholic. Big Catholic, very affected by his Catholic upbringing. Yeah. Like me. But then he turned on the church.

We all did. Why do you yell? I'm not yelling on from Queens. How many times do we have to go over this? We all did. All right, so this is, by the way, I actually didn't delete last week's one. So I think I have a good gauge on what we did. But if I play one that we played last week, please.

Let me know. Okay, so this one's super weird. My mother-in-law sends my children Christmas presents from her dog, but her dog died before my kids were even born. So for a long time, it was a very confusing moment for my kids. She's nuts. That's pretty wild. That's some deeper, darker things going on.

Well, you know what it is? She wants to keep the memory of her dog alive. Yeah. But she's doing it in a way that's... Doesn't make sense for other people. Well, because you're forcing the mother to have a conversation about death with their kids. Also, does she have a new dog that doesn't get them presents?

Yeah. Like, yeah, so then when they meet the dog, they're like, why is this dog so cheap? I do... For the dead one. I do love tradition that, like, keeps things alive. But it's... There's enough confusing. things going on with Santa. To also add

an imaginary dog is a lot. And an elf, the elf on the shelf. Oh yeah. What's the elf on the shelf? That's a thing that came I know, but I hear people... Basically, like, every night they move where the elf is. So the elf moves at night. Oh. Actually, I don't know.

You don't know what elf on the shelf is? But you got to get an elf and move it around the shelf. Okay. But I feel like if you have... Because I've heard people talking about Alf on the shelf, but I don't know what elf on the shelf is. I've heard some funny stories, though, about dogs thinking the elf on the shelf is a toy and then eating the elf on a shelf. Can I just Google what elf on the shelf is? Yeah.

I hear it and I like, I don't actually know what it is and it upsets me. Elf in the shelf is a popular Christmas tradition featuring a magical scout elf that sits on shelves to watch children and report their behavior to Santa. Returning each night to a new spot. Okay. So it's basically a spy. The parents were like, we need to buckle down. Because not only a sandal watching if you're not here, you're nice,

but I got a little elf to double check. Yeah. But that's basically like an Amazon ring camera. That's a campaign for Amazon. They should do like Amazon ring, the elf on the shelf, 365 days a year. And replay it for your kids. Be like, did you say the F word? Yeah.

No. Okay. Let's see what the elf had to say. Rewind Chris Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Everybody has a Chris Chris

Chris you know what you are The elf in the shelf It is crazy How many things are invented Just to like Try to get children To stop being annoying Yeah

My dad loved the quiet game Oh yeah We love the quiet game Your husband still plays it with you All right Let's Who's my husband Oh okay

did we do hide the pickle? No. Okay. Well, we're doing it. I don't know what it is. I wrote these names down last week. Hey, girl. So I'm not sure if this is considered a quirky tradition by any means,

but maybe it's just white. I don't know. My mom for like 20 years has had this fucking pickle. It's an ornament. It's not a real pickle. No shit. And she hides it in the tree, like our Christmas tree, and then we get, like, if we find it, we get the pickle prize. And I think it could be just a white person thing.

I don't know when she started doing it. I kind of hate it because then it's like one person gets an extra gift and then, you know, my brother's tried killing me in my sleep because of it. But, you know, I don't know. That's the corkiest shit we do. And then, like, I don't know, getting verbally assaulted by drunk people. And by people, I mean my family. So that's an old holiday tradition. No, we move.

Don't worry. Don't worry. We're all chill. Okay. Yeah. Love you. Toodles. Very funny.

I kind of like hide the pickle. Like, as in like this sounds like a fun tradition to me. Maybe, but it also is like added competitive stress that I don't need. 100%. But here's what I think. It teaches you that like, you know, sometimes things don't go your way. That's just life. You know?

I can't wait for you to be. be a dad. No, but it's true because there's so much like, like basically it's like you didn't find the pickle. What are you going to do? There was a prize of finding the pickle. You can't win them all. Also, hide the pickle sounds like a perverted uncle thing. Yeah, yeah. It's invented. Who can find the pickle? Who can find the pickle? Don't tell you mom. We're going to find you pick the pickle. Where did I put their pickle? You know, okay. I got excited because as you know, I do actually love pickles. Yeah, but it's not like find the jar of pickles.

Yeah. You know? Which if you looked in our fridge right now, pretty much would be a game to hide the pickles. It is. Scavenger hunts are fun. I like, I like kids trying to find things like Easter, them trying to find that candy, that's fun.

Yeah. But everybody has their own one. Yes. Yeah. I do think some families fucking love a game. Yeah, we discussed that last week. Yeah, I do want to get into more game nights. Maybe we'll play Scrabble tonight, get like crazy.

First of all, we'd have to buy Scrabble. I think we have it somewhere. I think everyone's house comes with Scrabble. We don't have Scrabble in this house. I think we do. I think it's in eight. I think it's in this house too. Oh, did I just give away an address?

You just gave your social security number away. Well, if anyone wants to come and play Scrabble with us. You know what we'll be. See you there. I guess the pickle's funny though because it's green, the tree's green and pickles are just funny in general just saying the word pickle, I love it, I could do it all the time

so look good for her, good for the mom that's fun, that's cute, I like it. I do like it also. But also like is it over like, is she like, okay we're gonna play find the pickle and go and everyone just like attacks the tree? Yeah.

But I guess there's like a peak age for that I guess. Also for all my I'm cat owners. People don't discuss the drama of the tree with when you own cats. Yeah. Because a cat thinks

that you just got them the most incredible, awesome toy they've ever fucking seen. So they get to play with it. So my mom has to, like, at night, make sure the cats are locked in

another room so she doesn't wake up with a tree that's been terrorized. But now they're inventing like cat-friendly trees where they can like, they can go inside the tree. Like they have a special cat area.

Yeah, I saw that. I saw that on Instagram. It's all over the place. I pondered. Honestly, I would have bought that except I saw that there was like quite a lot of assembly involved.

Yeah. And I kind of just wasn't in the mood for the assembly. Yeah, we can't do that kind of admin. And no guarantee that... The cat would actually... Yeah. Or that it lives up to what it looks like.

Yeah, but cats, the second Christmas comes, they're like, it's for me. Um, yeah, because there are certain things online. They love a jingle.

They love anything hanging in. Yeah, but we haven't had that much drama with that, but we haven't put up that many trees. You guys know I'm obsessed with Revolve. I just got a ton of stuff from Revolve for my little vacation. I went to in Mexico. And then I was like, oh my gosh, I need a like holiday party outfit. So I've been shopping on Revolve.

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That's B-I-L-T. Joinbilt.com slash burn. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. All right, let's get on to the next thing here. Hi, Mom and Dad, love you, love the pod. I don't know how much this is like a quirky thing, such as like honestly kind of a recommendation, but my family is a Christmas Eve family and then Christmas Day will either fly to other family or maybe fly on a trip somewhere, but it is usually cheaper to fly Christmas Day if you

want to go anywhere and then fly back New Year's Day. So no one else wants to fly on those days, especially early morning. morning. So if you want to do a good Christmas, New Year's Eve trip, you can get pretty cheap flights as long as you're willing to fly early morning. But we do it pretty much every year. So it works. Great travel. I love this. Great travel. I love this. Because everything's socially constructed. Dates are made up. Yeah, exactly. So it's like you can either get, excuse my French, fucked and fly when everyone else is flying and have a nightmarish time because everyone's doing the same thing or go 24 hours later and have the easiest cheapest flying experience ever.

And high five everybody in the airport on Christmas morning because everyone's like, hey, who paid fucking cheap flights? Let's go! I love a cheap flight hack. Also, well, honestly, for me, obviously we like saving money, but what are we more into? No lines. No lines. Calmness.

No pushing. Plus, you know all the flight attendants. They're all scrooges. You know, they're all like people that aren't into Christmas. So you can just like not get into it, which I also love. I do also think taking advantage of the random weeks. Like we got lucky. We traveled during a week this month where we went to a little vacation where it's basically

like before everyone goes on vacation. And it was the most pleasant experience. Off peak, baby. Off peak, guys. Like the Long Island Railroad. We're off peak people. Yeah. All right.

That's a niche reference. Yeah, but it's okay. Niche is okay. Niche is okay. It's a highly populated area of nicheness. You know? If you're going to go niche, go, you know, the metropolitan area. Yes.

You're looking at a big population. Forget me. Let's face it, we got a lot of northeastern. Let's face it, we are an international podcast. We are an international podcast, but the concept of off-peak, you know, people get context. You know, I think they can work out what I was talking about. So anyway, this is definitely effective. Did we ever do that?

I can't remember. Have we ever traveled on Christmas? I have. I know that. I have for like tennis tournaments and stuff. Oh, right. Your parents did it last year, right? But it was Christmas afternoon.

Yeah. I just think some people, it's like such a rule. Like they're like, I would never. And then you realize like, oh, you could, you have free will. You could do it ever you want any time. Free will. Free will. People forget.

Yes. Well, once it's doable. In Ireland, there's very little you can do on Christmas Day. But you can fly. All right, let's keep it. Oh, another game. Hi, guys. So every year, me, my five siblings, and my parents,

we play this game where we stuff two tennis balls in each leg of a old pair of panty hose. And then we put them on our heads. And then we set up cups. And then two people go against each other. and you're trying to whip the cups off of the ground. And, you know, it looks like saggy balls. And sometimes you're going really hard. And, you know, sometimes you're just get your balls wrapped up around your siblings' balls.

So, yeah, you know, I recommend playing it, trying it out. It's a good time, a good laugh. But, yeah, if you want to get your balls wrapped around your siblings' balls. siblings' balls, you know? It's a great, great way to do it. I didn't quite get the actual, you're wrapping around your neck, is it? No, I think you put it on your head and then you like, I mean, honestly, we need to see a visual, but I know I'm getting old. Oh, oh, wait. So you put the panty hose around your head with the balls already at the bottom. Yes. Oh, okay. But I'm literally getting old because immediately I'm like, I'm going to strain my neck muscle,

my back will hurt. I'll get a stiff neck the next day because I'll get too competitive whipping your head around already. I'm like, oh, my shoulder is going to start flaring up. But I do appreciate a silly, goofy game.

That one sounds fun to me. Yeah, but also I could see we break a lamp, we break a plate, the China, someone's mat, we knock over drinks. Well, you know, it's definitely a way to set this game up safely. Yeah.

I don't think that, I think we have enough space. One has enough space in a house to play the game. I do think. Did you play Twister as a kid? Yeah. Is that game still acceptable? I just wasn't sure. Is that canceled?

Twister? I don't know. I feel like it was so much fun, Twister. Twister was fun, but I feel like it was never as crazy. as it in the in the commercials like in the commercials it's like you guys had to choreograph that it's very hard to get in that position yeah you know real Twister you're just like yeah I can't get to that spot forget it or you just like immediately fall oops oopsie poops yeah um or like the thing slips and stuff yeah yeah but a great

idea Twister but incredible marketing great marketing god it looks so much fun do you know what else looked so much fun and wasn't as fun? Slip, slip, and slide. You probably didn't. Did you have a slip and slide? 100%. I've ripped my insides out of having rocks. Oh, because you didn't stay on the slide. No, you just put the slide over the grass. Of course, there's like one jagged rock that is just like literally sculling us.

Yeah, but like it was never as fun as it looked on the commercial. No, never is fun. Slip, slip and slide. Was that still a commercial when you were a kid? I think so. Yeah, we loved the slip and slide, but yeah, it was dangerous. Slip, slip and slide. Kids were freaking, like, flying into trees.

Like, it was very dangerous. Yeah, so I guess that's gone, right? All the fun games are gone. Yeah, all the fun games are gone because all of them were, like, pretty dangerous. Although I have to say, we went to the playground in West Hampton with Lois during the summer, and I was quite surprised to see

that they had like a self-compliant, You know, like a thing that kids could spin around propelling merry-go-round. Yeah. That was pretty... Old school. Yeah, I was like, yo, this is... Also, the slides were like intense. Yeah, so I was kind of happy to see that.

Yeah. I mean, the ground's a lot softer. Bring back some bruising. Bring back some adversity. Bring back bruising. Mm-hmm. I do think... Unless you're on a blood thinner.

Sorry. Old people jokes. All right, let's, this is a nice tradition that has a bit of a logistics issue. The corkiest thing that my family and I do has been a recent discovery or recent tradition. And it is that we go out to a diner. It used to be my cousin's restaurant, but small business. And be itless to say, we still pick a local-owned. diner and then we just have you a brunch. Then after that, we go to a local thrift store and we

see what we can find. And those treasures are what Santa, my parents, um, provide. And yeah, that's what our gifts are for the year. And it's a lot of fun because those pieces throughout the year, like I remember getting with my family and sharing those memories and, Yeah, I love the tradition and I want to keep carrying it on. I love that. The problem is, less and less diners. Oh, I thought you were going to say thrift stores, depending where you live. Yes.

But yeah, diners the best. This is my perfect Saturday. She's talking about, but I do kind of like the sustainability of being like, we go to a thrift store and then you get each other like funny, affordable things. Yes, but I'm with that if you're doing it together. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, you can get cool shit at a thrift store. I know. That's why it's fun. And it look, it really does depend on the thrift store. Some thrift stores you walk in and it just smells gross and it's just like really stuff nobody wanted. But sometimes you walk in and

you're like, oh my God, this is a playground of crazy cool things. But are you really a thrifter though, Hannah? Me? Are you really somebody that goes to a thrift store and spends the time to find the hidden gem? Or do you go to places that are quite curated? I cannot believe what you're doing right now I'm asking I'm asking You don't know me Hannah

I've been thrifting since I'm 11 years old Beacon's closet Park Slope where I'd go in for hours And the only way I would buy stuff Is from bringing my old stuff That I'd worn from Began's closet

Bring it back They give you a coupon And then you buy more stuff And it's just like Oh that's how I got my clothes Okay but in recent times And limited to In recent times

that's the thing with thrifty you don't just go thrift for three minutes you spend the whole afternoon where you go through every single rack yeah that's what I do that's what you do have I gone to some curated stores yeah but I don't like your attitude

no Hannah sorry I apologize if the tone That's what you do? No I apologize if the tone You don't think I like I go hard I just I just I wasn't really aware in recent times if you were like going to like the places where like there's not a lot of good shit, but like if you spend the time you find like a little hidden gem. Well, I'm, when I go to a lot of different cities, I'll go with my opener like Alley,

and we find a bunch of thrift stores and all them are different and we experience all them. You do? Yeah. That's what I do. No, I'm asking. I'm not with you on tour. It's my number one hobby. I do think there's some places you go in where you're like, oh, this is particularly gross.

and I don't have the energy to go through this. But there's some where you're like, okay, I like, because there's always a buyer and you could tell what the person curates if you like their vibe. Do you go to the ones where there's not just clothes? The problem with touring is it's hard to like bring plates or like bring candles like when you buy stuff.

So I would love to do like a furniture. Really? Yeah, but it's, doesn't make sense like I can't ship it but vintage furniture is the best really well that's I'll shop vintage furniture online first dibs um kio that kind of stuff yeah Brooklyn has like a trillion of them um all right let's let's keep it going here let's keep our Christmas traditions going Hi, Hannah and as I am an OG Burning in Hell and Burnerphone and Giggly Squad listener. I wanted to call in on this prompt because our family is a bit quirky and hopefully not blasphemous,

but my mom has like this little tiny, cute porcelain nativity scene. Like think precious moments, but not exactly precious moments. anyways every time it comes out during christmas time we steal baby jesus and hide him around the house we have not gotten permission to take him outside on vacations or field trips but we're working on it it's funny the thing people find fun nativity scenes are cute sorry that's my phone i think i just killed a cat oh no no thank god

didn't hit a cat thank goodness there's so many cats around hi guys they're asleep um nativity The nativity scenes made of glass are like cute. They have cute memories for me. Yeah. It's always a lamb. Did you guys do one in your house? My dad and papa did.

Yeah, I think we did a small one. But then St. Kevin's always had a huge one. Oh, yeah. And then I think the lighting of the nativity scene was like a thing. Do you remember things that are in the nativity? Like, as in like the baby Jesus and Mary and Joseph. Wasn't there a lamb? Oh, he's a lamb.

Yeah, he's the lamb of God. He's born in a manger. Are there rabbits? He's born in a manger. Are there hamsters? No, but there was three wise men. Were there goats? It was the Magi, but you don't put the Magi until January 6th.

The Magi? Yeah, we talked about it last week. We didn't talk about it. The three wise men. Oh, what's a Magi? It's the journey of the Magi. That's the three wise men. Magi means three wise men.

I don't know what magic. Was that the name of their band? Let me actually see what Magi. Do you know how to spell Magi? You guys were learning so much. People love hiding shit on Christmas. That's what we've learned. Yeah.

It was so interesting because I, you know, it was always like a, like a journey of the magi is actually a poem. Am I wrong about that? Oh no, it's definitely about the... The poem about the wits, the haiku? It's a poem by T.S. Eliot, but it's about the three wise men. But I actually thought, I thought that the magi was actually biblical magi. So the magi would have first seen in the morning sky and these traveled from around. Arakaran's either for one or two months to Jerusalem and then they headed to Bethlehem, you know,

so they were following the North Star or whatever, you know, to find baby Jesus. But I guess I need to reread it to make sure I know what I'm talking about when I, oh, the Armenian tradition identifying the Magi of Bethlehem. Anyway, whatever, you know, these are just words and sentences that stick in my head around the three wise men. I'm so obsessed with the Virgin Mary. Oh, did I say the Virgin Mary? No, just in general, the Virgin Mary and her

having a baby without having to have sex. The concept of the virgin birth. Yeah, there's a lot of scholarship around that, I believe. What a scholarship? You know, like a lot of different sort of... Takes? Yeah, takes around, you know,

was it, are they, was it considered like avert, you know, the way that it's the total perception of what that meant. you know. But a lot of people say that the whole concept of born of a virgin, you know, came later. Oh, you know, to sort of like institute this idea of purity. And oddly enough, don't...

Women can't win. They're like, now you have to have a baby without having sex, you dirty whore. Yeah. Well, you know, what's fucked up is don't ask me why. But I am on a religion algorithm on TikTok, particularly around biblical scholarship. and there's a, do you know what the big battle and biblical scholarship is? I didn't know biblical scholarship was a thing. Yeah, the big, the big, the big, east coast, west coast and biblical scholarship is

the teachings of Jesus versus the teachings of St. Paul. A lot of people aren't down with Paul. They basically said that Paul had his own ideas and he sort of acted like they were the word of God. Who's Paul? St. Paul. Letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians. Was he one of the friends of his? He was a later guy.

He was a Roman guy, and then he had a transformation. He saw an image of God, and he realized he was a bad person, and then he spread the word of God. And I think, again, I'm out of my lane here, but since it's an actual religious holiday that we're coming towards here, I do believe that sort of modern Christianity is sort of largely based around, the sort of the, I guess the hyper spreading

of Catholicism by Paul. Oh, I literally never heard of this guy. I think St. Paul, I think I could be corrected on this. I'm open, I'm not speaking with any... And he's not Patrick. No, Patrick came way later. Okay, all these white dudes are like... Patrick brought Christianity to...

Actually, they weren't white. Why are you assuming Paul was white? Because all these tall Patrick are, wait. They're actually not white. Well, St. Patrick was, but that's a different time. Got it. Right? no Paul

I think and I could be corrected on this Paul was the one that got the Romans to be cool eventually or maybe I think Paul was the one that got the Romans kind of to get down with Catholicism which is really what Catholic was on hyperdrive

once the Romans became Catholic yeah you know that's like I'm trying to think of a good analogy for your that's like hitting a TikTok algorithm being accepted by Rome was like, oh shit. We're going viral, baby.

Yeah, that's what. Paul, Paul, perhaps, you know, Paul was like the, we're going to Hollywood. The Dimeleos of, we're moving to L.A. So I think,

I think, but I could be. I just envision Paul going to, like, really nervous about his pitch. And he sits down and he goes, you guys are going to love this. And they're like, why?

And he's like, look, it's working, a lot of virgins. But, you know, the other issues, I think a lot of people argue that Paul was like not down with the ladies. Like he was a lot of the sort of like, you know,

misogyny sort of sexism of of Catholicism comes from his stuff. And I'm pretty sure. I'm not down with the ladies like he's gay. No, that can't be proven, unfortunately. But he's like, look, it should only be handsome priests. Well, yeah, you know, like the women can't be priests

and, you know, just like a lot of different stuff that's not, you know. But again, hit me up in the Spotify comments. Correct me. I'm open to correction. We can't be priest because they're busy birthing babies without having sex

doing full magic tricks. Yeah. But I'm pretty sure when you get down with the East Coast, West Coast people arguing back and forth about the Bible. I think a lot of people say that like the Jesus followers because there was like a sect. The Jesus followers,

the OG guys, which a lot of people think got sort of sidelined in the sort of like as the Bible moved into the future, a lot of the actual teachings of the Jesus sect got sort of watered down. But I think a lot of people think that the Virgin birth thing came later.

But again, I'm open to correction. So all the Bible scholars out there, hit me up in the Spotify comments. I don't know how many we have. But you know, you might, I think this guy, Dan McClellan, he's the guy, very interesting Bible scholar. and then I followed him.

Then next thing I know, oh, and also we talked about this a couple of weeks ago, about the, I would do a passage from the Bible. Next thing, my TikTok, like 30% of my TikTok, was like, so this is actually not the word of Jesus. This is the word of St. Paul. Our phones are listening to us at all times. It's crazy.

Also, sometimes I feel like my phone reads my mind. Because sometimes I won't say anything. I'll just think something. It's really weird. Can you think of a funny example? No, I'm blacking. I have to write it down next time. I had one yesterday, and I can't feck and remember what it is,

but I was talking about something with somebody, and the next thing, boom, there it was. Yeah. Or something like I'll just mention briefly. Like, it's not like we're having a deep conversation on it. And there it is. And there it is. There's the commercial.

It's crazy. All right, let's do one more to take it home here in the holiday season. We head towards the end of the year. Jingle Bell. Hey, Anna. He does. We have a lot of Christmas traditions between my family and my husband's family, and both involve a lot of games. Other than, you know, doing midnight mass and waking up, like we do Christmas with my sister's family and the kids and everything.

But then when we do my family's extended family, we play a little game called left-right center. This is after earlier in the day we've done dirty Santa. So then, yeah, later on in the day, we teach kids how to gamble playing left-right center. And then my husband's family Christmas, we also, they're British. So we play past the parcel, which my Italian self is something I'd never heard of until I married into this family. But that's also a fun game. And then they also play left-right center. So, yeah, it's just a fun way to get our families together and engage with each other,

and especially all the little kids. All right, love you, bye. never heard left right center is a great game the palazola's plate my cousins the palzolas and i have a video of it and i can't remember how to play it now but basically what i do believe is everybody has a dollar or everybody has three dollars i think it might be everyone has three dollars and uh basically a stripper comes but it could be wrong but it's like a roll of the dice and you get left right or center so you either keep the money you give it to your left or you give it to the right

and the game is for what you to end up with somebody ends up with all the money and it's hilarious very fun it's a fun game I think I bought I thought I bought it one of them explaining games is the hardest part but that sounds like something we should attempt

very simple but it's all about the energy at the table you know because when they roll the dice yeah and then pass the parcel never heard and I can't feck and remember how to play that game All I can remember is that it was a joke back in the 90s during the troubles, which was that... What troubles? The north of Ireland troubles. No, because people...

There was some joke, which I can't remember the full joke, but it was basically like a fast game like Pass the Parcel and a Belfast pub, which was basically like a bomb joke. But I can't... Not a joke that bombs. I literally joke about bombs. but I actually don't know what past the parcel is. Well, also, she's fascinating because she says she's Italian, involved with British people. She has a southern accent.

And a thick southern accent. There is a lot happening. I'm fascinated. A lot of cultures, mixing. But it also is so funny. You think about games when you're little, you're like, I like, I like games. When you get older, sometimes you get out of it.

But we are really just animals that are like, need something to stimulate us. And to get us to interact with each other. so you throw a game involved. Yeah, I know. You look at a cat playing with a toy. You're like, this cat's crazy. This cat's having a time of its life.

Yeah. I do think, guys, one thing we've learned from these episodes, we've got to get back to games. And you've got to have a champion at the end. You got to put their name on some, you know, thing on the fridge. And then next year you get a new one. You know, let's get the stakes high.

Got to keep people stimulated. Yep. Because here's the thing, if you're not playing games, in America's... Exactly. In America's divided society, you're going to get onto politics. You got to distract with games or get new family members.

Yeah. And like all politics these days, you got to remember that when it comes to anything, politics in the family, it's got to be redacted. You're right? Keep it to yourself. Keep it to yourself. So this is a very Merry Christmas. Happy holidays.

Happy Hanukkah from the Burn of Phone podcast here creeping towards 2026. We love you guys so much. Creeping towards 2026, Hannah. Happy holidays to all of. you. Happy holidays. Well, that's a modern one, right? And check our um, 2026 tour dates because we want to meet you guys in person. I don't hear white Christmas as much anymore. If you noticed that. Bring it back, babe. I'm bringing it back. By the way, can, before you go, do you know what I was thinking of doing for our final episode of the year? What? How would you

feel if we ask the dialers to send in the funny impersonations of me or you or both of us? That's amazing. That's amazing. That would literally bring me so much joy. Getting me fun of is my number one hobby. So next week, let's do, to bring out the end of the year, we're going to do the dialers' impersonations of Hannah and I. On Burner Phone. To bring out the year in a silly way. Yep. Nobody will get offended. It's a safe space. Yep. Let it out. Let it out. Let's see those acting chops.

So we'll see you guys next. week. Love you guys. Bye.