Berner Phone - Berner Phone #124: Little Gripes Part 2

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

The dialers are annoyed by so much that we had to do a part 2. get tix to Hannah's tour get tix to Des' tour...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:02 Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Burner Phone. You know, normally I would say it's a solo app today,
Starting point is 00:00:20 but we do have our trusted producer, actually indispensable member of the podcast team, Chris. Sleepy Eye this morning. Sleepy Eye. Chris and I both have woken up at 6 a.m. Sorry, well, before 6 a.m. And I'm going to confess to you something, Chris. What's that? I forgot to set my alarm.
Starting point is 00:00:44 But luckily, I woke up at 5.54 a.m. Beautiful. Internal clock. That's all you need. It's been 15 minutes since I woke up. And Chris, no, we don't really post the full video of the pot, although we made today. But Chris, I don't know, you look like you're auditioning for like, the part of the rock and roll star when things start to go arrive. You know, I do look like I just got off a four-day bender,
Starting point is 00:01:10 but it is just because it's six o'clock in the morning. So anyway, that's not, that's not, that's, I'm not going to put pressure to the pressure to be a total co-host, but we are happy that he's here. Happy to be here, guys. And I wasn't organized enough to get,
Starting point is 00:01:25 uh, to get a co-host. Uh, Hannah and I are in Miami right now. And, uh, but the good news is, that last week's prompt was it was impossible to not do another one because there was just so many good ones.
Starting point is 00:01:39 And honestly, I personally think that this could be like a actual podcast, like a 365, you know, like once a week podcast, 52 apps a year on the subject of like the little things that people do that are annoying. So actually, since you're here, Chris, do you happen to have one off the top of your head? Did you even listen to any of these when I sent them to you? No. I mean, the ones for this week, no. Yeah, you're not supposed, you're not supposed, of course, you listen to last week.
Starting point is 00:02:08 So you know the, you know the drill. Yep. You know the drill. What was yours when you were thinking about it when you were editing last week? When you think you're going to be well rested in the morning when you wake up early and then you end up not being well rested whatsoever. Yeah, but you know what? You're going to feel well rested, Chris.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Just give it a sec to kick in. I got to wake up. It's like dropping a, here's a reference I can never talk about with Hannah. It's like dropping like, it's like dropping like. ecstasy at MDMA you know for a while you're like what was the point of this and then you know in an hour you're going to be like wow
Starting point is 00:02:38 I feel amazing that's gonna have so anyway we have a lot to get through as I said last week it's not really a solo episode because it's with you the dialers and we've loads of great messages
Starting point is 00:02:51 so Chris in no particular order I just I just kind of threw them at you and one I think is actually one is not actually related to this week's prompt but whenever it comes up, it comes up. Go ahead. My partner sets alarms for literally everything as reminders to himself. So it will be like he'll set an alarm for two hours from now to go change his laundry, right? Or another time for probably over a year, he had a reminder, an alarm, mind you, every single day go off at 4.30 p.m.
Starting point is 00:03:26 that said, learn to code. This man has never learned to code. And instead of just like turning off the alarm and doing the thing that he's trying to remind himself of, like a normal person, he presses snooze. And he will press snooze for hours and hours and hours. So every 10 minutes, this fucking alarm is going off to remind him to learn to code. And he never does it. It drives me fucking bananas.
Starting point is 00:03:56 It goes off every 10 minutes for my entire life. I live in hell. Help me. I mean, that's pretty bad. I mean, so many things going through my head with this. First of all, on one level,
Starting point is 00:04:09 particularly at the beginning of the message, I was like, but this guy's organized, you know? Like I'm, I'm, I'm into it, you know?
Starting point is 00:04:18 But then on the flip side, I, you know, I don't know if you know the movie Momento, but the, one of the early Christopher Nolan movies
Starting point is 00:04:27 with this guy, He has like, he can't remember anything. Like it immediately disappears from his brain. So he has to keep like writing down notes. He's trying to like, you know, sort of like solve this mystery that he can never really solve. Because anyway, I'm not, don't want to give a spoiler. Because that's actually a good watch. I feel like the burnophone listeners, I feel like the dialers may have let Memento slip them by.
Starting point is 00:04:51 By the way, this is not an insult to say that you're, you're not of an intellect to watch Memento. it's just in terms of when it came out guys just in case you thought in some way i was dismissing you no it's quite a long time ago uh i i would imagine it's over 20 years ago guy pierce that's the lead great great movie anyway i was thinking it's a bit like that it's like how much do you need to be reminded of throughout your day until it goes this guy's got some sort of like problem and by the way even if he did have a problem i'm not saying that's a bit of a bit bad thing, but I'm saying maybe you need to get into the, your partner will understand you because you have an issue.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Because right now, she does it. I know you're not listening. She is. She sent in the message. But I also have to say that I would find it eventually annoying. And I feel like if you're somebody that's sending alarms all day, you lose snooze privileges. Yeah. It's like, hey, one alarm, multiple snoozes, or multiple.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Alarms, no snooze. Pick a fucking lane, buddy. That's what I say. You know? Also, I kind of identify with the learn to code thing. Not so much that I would set alarms, but sometimes I use those. I'm going to actually come clean here.
Starting point is 00:06:14 I don't actually know how to use the reminders thing. Yeah, me neither. I never figured it out. I don't know when they taught that. I could really use it too, but I refuse to learn how to use it. I don't know where. that course is hot but yeah
Starting point is 00:06:28 I thought I was I thought I was like showing myself to be the dumb Gen Xer I didn't know that it spans generations so every time I set a reminder it reminds me for years I'm gonna be well reminded
Starting point is 00:06:45 is there like something that you've wanted to learn that you've put off for your entire life like learn how to code well you know honestly it's more like things that I kind of half know that I always say I'm going to get better at. For example, Final Cut Pro, I mean, I think you, but certainly Hannah, uses Adobe Premiere. But I just, an Apple guy, I just naturally shifted over to Final Cup Pro.
Starting point is 00:07:12 And this will get very boring, very quick for the dialers, but I apologize. But I spent way too long on Imovie, number one, okay? And then it took me like a decade. I had Final Cup Pro on my computer for 10 years. it took me like a decade to try to get get across and then I finally did but even still to this day I keep saying I'm going to do like a proper editing course and I never do but there are so many things like that where I say I'm going to get better at something that I do and like that I really need to get better at and I don't but I could I could bore you with examples well you have the
Starting point is 00:07:51 language is pretty covered so that's something yeah well Pan and I I've just started learning Spanish actually. So anyway, as far as the alarms go, oh yeah, so like, just the funny thing about reminders, I hope that people that are listening can identify with this. Because like, I have one running at the moment that like, and all I have to do is delete it, but I even find the deleting them to be complicated.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Yeah. Because I always want to set them for one day, and then they come up for years. Let's see what I got reminded on yesterday, right? Just to, I'll only, I won't hold this too long. it gets complicated, but all right, I can't even see it. You know, just the, the reminders up in general, just like, I can't even, like, find, say, let's see one that I set, like, weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Oh, my God, cross-handed chip. You know, again, the minute Hannah leaves, it's just, like, all shit that nobody that listens to this podcast cares about, but one of the British golfers was cross-handed chipping during the summer, like, on the PGA tour. And I was, like, try that. out. So I said it. And every single day since then, it's reminded me about the cross-haired the chip, which I tried ages ago. And it didn't work for me. Right? And then I did a gig in Long Beach for Ryan Reese. And it was in December. And I've still been getting fucking updates about that.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Anyway, I hope all the, hit us up in the Spotify comments if you have an issue with the reminders app. But the thing is, I don't set a fucking alarm on it. Yeah. You know? I don't have an alarm on it. So anyway, all I can say to you in terms of your partner and the alarms is tell them that they have to be on vibrate. You know? Like there has to be a practical solution to this. But it is a little crazy. He needs to trust his mind a little more.
Starting point is 00:09:47 And I think we can all agree out there. I think the entire listening population right now agrees one thing that he needs to do. He needs to learn how to code. Learn how to code. But AI, he's done it so long now that AI could just do it for you. Just tell the AI to code for you and then you're fine. Yeah, exactly. Like, you missed your fucking window, buddy.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Now you have to learn how to prompt AI. But hey, I got another thing for you now that Hannah's gone. I can also be honest about something else. There's no point. Don't learn how to code because I actually don't think we're long for this world. I think the end of the world is coming soon. But hey, don't let me turn you guys down. Hey, let's go to another one, Chris.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Hi, Hannah. Hi, Des. Long time listener, love you both. So one thing that really annoys me about my boyfriend, we've been living together for a year now. And we had very different upbringings. And for some reason, the word pocket money keeps coming up. He keeps saying the word pocket money,
Starting point is 00:10:53 like his parents didn't give him a lot of pocket money when he was growing up and I don't know why this is driving me so fucking crazy but it's really it's it's it's killing me it's killing me why does this word come up so much and why is it such a disgusting word I always find the ones funny where like something really irritates somebody else and I don't quite understand and then I couldn't was there a cultural thing here Chris?
Starting point is 00:11:26 or no? Was there was there a culture clash on it or they both live in Australia? It kind of sounded like she was saying that it was a culture class. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that that's understandable. Yeah. You know? I personally completely understand the term pocket money. Yeah. Like I think in America, when somebody says pocket money, I guess they kind of mean like extra cash for like frivolous things. and even in my i remember in my parents marriage like my dad had pocket money which is pretty crazy because he was actually making the money but my mother 100% controlled the money not like in a controlling way but my father he could have said a lot of reminders in his life he was really not on it when it came to like life so anyway
Starting point is 00:12:17 my dad always said like oh you know i i just have that for a bit of pocket money and then that was always our sneaky thing in the house was like if you if you asked your dad for money like that was kind of sneaky because my dad had his own little stash of cash and sometimes he would give you money for things that you knew that our mother would not have given you know and that was he you know my dad's had a thing did your dad did your parents have this where your dad would say don't tell your mother did you have that yeah every once a while
Starting point is 00:12:51 select things, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I think that's like normal, right? Just like, hey, just saw a little thing. Don't tell your mother, you know? My dad would, my dad would open his drawer in his bedroom and there would be cash in there. That was my dad's pocket money. My dad's, my dad's secret stash, which of course he would regret showing us later on.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Because when you get into the drinking years, you'd be prone to. That's beer money now. You'd be prone to find your hand in the pocket money drawer. Exactly. It's the socks. Actually, two things that might. dad regretted in this life, I'd say, was showing me that the money was in that drawer and that the socks were in that drawer because once we were big enough to, to, we, I robbed my dad's socks a lot.
Starting point is 00:13:33 I was a, I was a dad's sock robber. I think we actually have a sock, a sock wearing prompt. Anyway, I would say if it's annoying sometimes people, there's certain words that people say that are annoying. And I guess you just have to accept it. The other thing I will say is, is that being a podcast host or doing podcasts in general and being in a relationship have one very similar attribute, which is you're listening to the same person all the time. So you very quickly notice all their odd like audio kind of habits. So actually, Chris, if you could see it, because I don't know how I titled it, there is somebody complaining about the sort of terms that people use.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Did I say something like phrases or something? All right. Des, you're going to love this because I'm going to roast you and Hannah. But a gripe that I forgot to add is when people say what I will say is, it's like just say it. Just say what you're going to say. You don't need to say what I will say is.
Starting point is 00:14:44 And I have a lot of friends that do this and I used to roast them for this. And I noticed that both of you do this, you'll be like, what I will say is. And I'm like, only freaking God, just say it. But I love you both. So it's okay. See, I love that. What will you say about that? What I will say.
Starting point is 00:15:06 And there's, now that there's a lot going on in my head, so just quickly to end the previous one, which is sort of, I think, somewhat connected. Obviously, pocket money and this, what I will say are like two different things. things. But what it is is when you listen to somebody a lot, you just begin to hear their sort of unique verbal habits, right? And it's almost unfair, you know? It's like, you know, other than a marriage or, you know, sorry, like a relationship, you're not really meant to be that exposed in terms of like the stupid things that you do. But they happen and that's, that's fine. So you're just going to have to accept the pocket money thing. But on the I,
Starting point is 00:15:48 will say thing. That is like one thing I even notice myself with podcasting is like, you know, if I'm editing or even listening back, you know, when you're editing, thanks be to Jesus. I just, I get
Starting point is 00:16:04 annoyed at myself for like the unnecessary things that I say. But then if you begin to worry about that all the time, you lose the natural flow of the way that you talk, you know? So I I actually think, coincidentally enough, I say actually a lot.
Starting point is 00:16:20 That's one thing I learned about myself. But I also say honestly a lot, which is like an unnecessary sort of qualifier. Like honestly, I think. And I say listen at the beginning of a lot of sentences, which I feel like is a more recent phenomenon in my life. But those are the ones that annoy me. But I will say that where does I will say comfort? from. Like, it's one of those, you know, that's like one of those things, you know, when you're learning another language, particularly when you're learning another language in school, where they teach it
Starting point is 00:16:56 terribly. I won't go on to that rant. But because they're teaching languages in school in a way that can be tested, right? And then did you do, did you have an oral exam in Spanish or in any language that you did? I think so, yeah. Yeah. So, you know, when you're, you're preparing for these oral exams, they always try to give you like a couple of what would you say like a useless phrases that do make you sound. Filler phrase. Filler word. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Filler phrase that make you sound more conversational. And I will say, I think I will say is one of those. Yeah. You know? Or like in my opinion, there's, because in Gaelic,
Starting point is 00:17:36 in the Guelga, it's, Imahoram. Imahorum is in my opinion. And like everybody that learns the, the, for the oral Irish, the screwdubel, that is the exam
Starting point is 00:17:46 that Irish people take. The immoredom is like one of the things that everybody knows, you know, to give the personal opinion section of the oral exam. Anyway, I mean, what are some of the other uses?
Starting point is 00:18:02 Oh, of course, the New York one is not for nothing. I think Chris DeFo has a bit about that. Yeah. Not for nothing. And then there's there's another one. That's like, doesn't make any sense, but it's gone out of my head now. Like the thing that people say that actually kind of cancels itself out.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Oh, what's the one way you can say it both ways and it has the same meaning? Oh, God. Of course, I'm having a brain fart here at 629 AM. Oh, I could care less or I couldn't care less. Yeah. What do you say? Oh, I just had one too. So it's not exactly like this, but.
Starting point is 00:18:44 But have you, do you say the other day and that could mean like yesterday or like two years ago? I would generally withhold the other day for situations that are somewhat recent. What's the cutoff then? This is the problem. There's no, there's no cutoff. It's like a Kirby enthusiasm episode. Well, I don't know. The other day, for me, the cutoff is like within the last three weeks.
Starting point is 00:19:11 And I've just picked that, but like just a very quick. sort of like visualization of what I would be talking about when I say the other day, I would say like three weeks ago. That's fair. I feel like there's plenty of people that could go back like six months though just without even bad in a eye. Yeah. 100% hey, hit us up in the Spotify comments.
Starting point is 00:19:29 What is the cutoff point the other day? Yeah. You know, I think if I was talking about like six months ago, I would be like, I would actually say like a couple of months ago probably. Very, very accurate in your time. Yeah, I would say maybe like a while ago. There you go. Or even like I might say like, I might say like recently.
Starting point is 00:19:52 No, but when I, when I met what was one of yours, that was great. I actually was, what, do you say I could care less or I couldn't care less? I couldn't care less. Actually, I think I kind of change sometimes depending on the, on the tone more so of what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Or like I could give a fuck. Yeah. Probably that. Those, those expressions are kind of odd. Like, in that like, like. Okay, so let's break it down grammatically. I could care less, right? Where are we saying?
Starting point is 00:20:20 It's possible that I could care less. But really what you're saying is there's nowhere lower than the amount of care that I am giving this. Right. That's what we're saying, right? Well, then you could say, I couldn't care less, which I think actually couldn't care less is the correct. That's the one. That's correct. I've never really took the time to break it down.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Yeah. Yeah, it's I couldn't care less. We probably could have just Googled that. They would have said. That's all right. We're breaking it down for the people. We're breaking it down, you know? Anyway, I couldn't care less whether we get this right or not.
Starting point is 00:20:59 So let's, yeah, so listen, I get it. I think it's funny to roast people for the stupid things they say. And, you know, when sports stars, sometimes they do interviews, especially young sports stars and they haven't been like media. trend yet and they have like these funny quirks in their language like people make fun of them on the internet that's the other problem is that like
Starting point is 00:21:20 you get absolutely crucified for any of your sort of like communication quirks in the public eye like it's kind of fucked up I'm sure a lot of people have like hang-ups by the way this is not a criticism of the person who messaged in because I thought that was hilarious but I just mean like in the comments when like
Starting point is 00:21:38 people do an interview or like somebody makes a slip up you know you just get absolutely crucified. So it's kind of hard to, it's a tough time to fuck up out there. I'll tell you that right now. Guys, have you tried Boland brand signature sheets yet? You know, you have to. You can listen to me, but you got to get one of these sheets on your bed and you got to lay in there and then you're going to be like, Des, you were so right. Plus they have a waffle bed blanket. I mean, hello, this thing is so comfortable. You know, you think like, okay, you guys are sheet people. What are you doing going into the blanket game?
Starting point is 00:22:13 Well, lo and behold, they're killing that too. All right? It has just a deep softness, a breathability, and quality. You can't imagine, right, until you're lying in one of these things. Hannah absolutely loves it. Butter, by the way, loves to make biscuits on it. You got to check this out. Bowling brand signature sheets and waffle bed blanket.
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Starting point is 00:23:08 plus free shipping at bolandbranch.com slash burn with code burn. That's B-O-L-L-A-N-D branch.com slash burn code burn to unlock 15% off exclusions apply. Well, you guys have heard us talk about Hunger Route before. So you know that we are a huge fan of incredibly convenient food delivery services. But Hunger Route is just so much more because it just takes the grocery shopping out of the game. And Hannah and I just struggle with the grocery shopping in general. because we don't have kids, right? You know, so it's very easy to be lazy,
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Starting point is 00:25:07 do for a limited time get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for life go to hungry root.com slash burner and use code burner that's hungry root dot com slash burner code burner to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life so let's go to the next one chris hi hannah and des long time listener first time caller love you guys love giggly squad one thing that in particular my parents do that annoy is the ever-living crap out of me is they ask me to guess how much something costs when they thought it was expensive. And if I try to say, I don't know how much, they will press me into saying, no, guess, guess. It's like I have like no earthly idea how much the two-pound brisket that you
Starting point is 00:25:58 bought from their local grocery store costs you. Just tell me. And I will tell you that I also think it's ridiculous. And everyone will be happy. But if you try to get me to guess, there's absolutely no way any of us will come out of this with an enjoyable experience. And that's it. Thanks. Love you guys. Bye. Hilarious.
Starting point is 00:26:19 God, there's so much going on with this because I also hate. I also hate when people do this because sometimes you're not even sure if they're trying to say, I got a discount or it was extortionate, right? So you don't even know on what range to guess. Because whenever somebody asks me this, even like how old? you think I am? You know, like anytime somebody does the guess, yeah, the guess question, right? I'm always going to guess in the area where they'll be surprised in a happy way.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Yeah, flatter. Than an unhappy way. Yeah. So when somebody's like, guess how much this is and they want me to think it's super expensive, I'm not going to guess super high because I don't want them to go, no, actually, it wasn't that bad. You know, I want them to be like, no, not $5. it was $8.50. Are you fucking kidding me?
Starting point is 00:27:10 You know? Because the truth is I couldn't care less. But I, no, I just want to make them happy in this silly interaction. But you really need almost like more information, you know? I think it's funny when somebody asks you about
Starting point is 00:27:28 something that you probably aren't going to know anything about like a brisket. Like this girl sounded like she didn't know the first thing about brisket. And they just started asking you the price in the question for it. Yeah, but did she realize that the price of beef is actually right in the heart of the modern dissatisfaction with how things are going in the economy? As she didn't actually realize that this question was at the heart of sort of the
Starting point is 00:27:58 perception of the economy versus the numbers of the economy, right? So she didn't realize that she wasn't just being asked, guess how much? much this brisket is, she was walking into the cauldron that is the great debate on how we are doing as a country and the brisket has gotten very expensive.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Sorry, that's my Bernie Sanders. So, anyway, we did Mitch McConnell last week, so I feel like we had to balance it out with our politicians. But anyway, needs to say, the beef is expensive at the moment. So,
Starting point is 00:28:35 a harder guess If you're going to guess on beef at the moment, guess up. If you're going to guess on the price of gas at the moment, guess down. And these are the things you need to know in the guess how much this costs community. So, Hannah, on the other hand, likes the thrift, as we know. And she likes to go to these thrift stores. And I have to say, when I check the price tags on a lot of these secondhand goods, I think this is one of the greatest,
Starting point is 00:29:05 grifts thrift stores are really griff stores in my opinion the charity ones I understand rip me off and give them money to people who need love it the profiteers though that I guess
Starting point is 00:29:21 and this could be controversial so I'm open to criticism on this hit me up in the Spotify comes no but here's the thing okay I think there's an element of my modern-day societies want to cut down on waste, which I love. I absolutely love.
Starting point is 00:29:41 I don't like the repercussions of the waste that comes from fast fashion. And by the way, I am in no way am I suggesting that I am a really good, you know, participant in, you know, not using, you know, not, like, for example, like not buying fast fashion. I'm not in any way coming out as a warrior for any of this. But what I am saying is that I like the motivation of thrifting in the sense of cutting down on waste. Okay? I'm a big fan of that because recycling is overrated.
Starting point is 00:30:17 It's really not as effective as it sort of makes you feel okay, but it's really not as effective as you think. So big fan. On the flip side, though, I feel like there's some profiteering going on in that, you know, There's really some insanely expensive stuff in these thrift stores, and I don't get it other than people think it's cool. And I get it.
Starting point is 00:30:42 That's the market, right? If people want to go, this is actually cooler than buying it new, so I'm actually going to pay essentially what this would have cost in 1985. Or more. Including inflation, including inflation. Including inflation. Then that is absolutely fine. I don't have a problem with it. But it fucking annoys me, though, you know,
Starting point is 00:31:05 because I know that it's kind of a, you know, it's like it's a trend and life is expensive. And so I feel like people are profiteering off other people's desire to do good. I don't mind people profiteering off other people's desire to feel cool. I don't mind that. Cool is a commodity.
Starting point is 00:31:25 But I do have a problem with people profiteering off the fact that people are trying. trying to be better people and you're like making it harder for them to do that. So anyway, that wasn't a topic I thought we'd get to today, but we did get to it. And I didn't have the thrifter herself to push back on me. Let's go to the next one. Hi, guys. Love you. My name's Natalie and I've been listening forever.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Love you both. I'm trying to hurry because I'm out lunch with my boyfriend and I just saw this on Instagram and I ran to the fucking bathroom to tell you guys this. I was just thinking about the other day how fucking slow he walks when we are in New York. I can't. I fucking want to kill him and just like dump his body like in the river. Dude, I can't. So yeah, that's it.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Just slow walker. New York City? Like, are you fucking kidding me? I can't. Anyway, love you back. Got to go. All right. Well, first of all, if you're not.
Starting point is 00:32:33 If you're going to dump his body, then they suggest that you dump it over by the Hellsgate Bridge because the currents are very strong there. So the body kind of disappears, which was very successful for the Westies in the 70s and 80s. Learn how to dump a body on burner phone. Well, no, that's like, that's like, you know, the Westies, because the Westies were the Irish Hell's Kitchen Gang. That made famous by the movie State of Grace and also in the court trials of John Gotti. But anyway, the thing about the slow walking is, it's interesting because Hannah's mother is Lenore, who I think listens, actually. She is the fastest walker I've ever walked with in my life to the point where it's like, yo, like, by the way, I don't complain. But like, since I've met Hannah, I've had so many injuries that like 50% of the time, I have not been able to keep up with the burner, the DeLeo burner.
Starting point is 00:33:31 pace of Lenore Burner. Hannah is not as naturally a fast walker as her mother, but she's pretty fast walker. In general, in my life, I would say that New York has a speed limit. Okay? New York is basically like the interstate. All right?
Starting point is 00:33:50 So if you're on the interstate, you've got to accept that there's actually a minimum speed. A lot of people actually don't know this in the free flow of traffic. There's a minimum speed on the interstate. So I feel like in New York City, there's a minimum speed. If you can't keep up with the minimum speed,
Starting point is 00:34:06 don't go on the fucking interstate, all right? Now, what I would say is, I'm going to evolve my new theory. The avenues are interstates and the main streets, all right? If you can't keep up at the pace, you've got to walk down a side street that's not one of the main streets, right? And if you need to go north to south,
Starting point is 00:34:28 in other words, if you need to take an avenue, you, then you need to go along the river. You need to be on like a tourist, a tourist thoroughfare. There you're allowed to slow down. Other than that, get the fuck off my street. And of course, I'm joking, by the way, guys. But I do appreciate the frustration. But I don't get frustrated when somebody's on with is walking slow.
Starting point is 00:34:52 I just get frustrated when a stranger is walking slow in front of me in a congested area where I can't move. I'm always getting pissed at slow walkers, but I will say every once in a while, when I'm at a good mood and I'm like maybe with a group of people or something, I'll catch myself slow walking, and then I'm like, I'm part of the problem now. Now I'm the problem.
Starting point is 00:35:13 I'm really enjoying it. But yeah, you got to keep up for that at a speed. But here's the thing. When you catch yourself being a slow walker, that's like a moment of realization, which is like, oh shit, I've been in a rush for years for no fucking reason. Yeah, pretty much.
Starting point is 00:35:31 What's your destination? Wasn't that, uh, is that, what was that from again? Was that from the up in the air, the George Clooney movie? Maybe. What's your destination? No, because everybody on Burnerphone, because we're really going to try to sort of shift into the Mel Robbins space. Let me ask everybody on Burner's phone.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Where are you going to this dialer that's just messaged and quite irritated? And we're not judging you because we've literally asked you to colon irritated. But where are you going? Why don't you try, the same way they say that you should try to match your breathing, Hannah has the joke about spooning and you're supposed to match your breathing. Why don't you try matching your pace? That's why I've written a new self-help book that's coming out next week.
Starting point is 00:36:19 Match your pace. A guide to being happy in a relationship. So match your pace. Ask yourself, what's the fucking rush? okay and see how that goes and the people of New York will tell you yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:36:34 especially in New York yeah see how that goes but realize when the New Yorkers tell you to hurry the fuck up realize that what they're saying is I'm not happy with who I am and I'm running
Starting point is 00:36:52 I'm running from myself and sell them Des's book yeah they're running from themselves. Okay. Every time you hit a don't walk sign, you know what that's saying?
Starting point is 00:37:03 That's the universe telling you to take a look at how you feel right now. What's going on for you? And then when you see the walk sign, realize that you're walking in to a new you, a new self. So anyway, that's something we learned today from the walking pace one. By the way,
Starting point is 00:37:22 I have to say I've always kind of wanted to be a self-help grifter. Yeah. Not suggesting that Mel Robbins is, by the way. I was stepping away from the Mel Robbins thing and suggesting that I would, I have felt a lot of grift in that world. And I feel like it's easy to, it's actually a kind of an easy world to get into manipulation. You know, because I'm not going to name any of the very popular charlatans right now. But when you listen to them, like they really are saying,
Starting point is 00:37:55 fuck all and everyone thinks they're really saying a lot and it's fascinating to watch uh so you don't need to know that much you know it just need to sound confident in what you're saying and you need to look peaceful and when you're interviewing people you need to like look them in the eye and hold it for longer than you should because the person that you're interviewing will then think like oh they know something deeper than I know. And then you actually get stuck where you're like, what are they wanting me to say? And as a result, you sort of say the next sentence that they then jump on because what you're actually saying is I'm uncomfortable, but then they make it seem like you're speaking from a deeper part of yourself. And it's just a great manipulation. And I'm really into getting into it. So if you see me doing that in
Starting point is 00:38:52 the next year or two, know that I'm on the record for saying that I'm fucking full of shit. This episode of Burnaphone is brought to you by Wildgrain, and I have to tell you that I haven't been as excited about something new that I had never heard of until recently as Wildrain. It's the first bake from frozen subscription box for sourdough breads, artisanal pastries, and fresh pastas, plus all items conveniently bake in 25 minutes or less. Now, if you pay attention to this podcast, you will know that Hannah and I are huge sourdough fans. And honestly, the fact that you can bake your own pasta in 25 minutes, you know, try to get your own texture. Unlike many storeboard options, wild grain uses simple ingredients you can pronounce and a slow fermentation process that can be easier on your belly.
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Starting point is 00:40:08 because I honestly, I think it's a great thing. People are making fun of it, but I just think it's amazing that people are getting on the protein train, well-done wild grain. And honestly, the bread is incredible and the pasta is incredible. That's what I've tried so far, and it is amazing.
Starting point is 00:40:24 You know, honestly, a bit of a diet. Not going as hard on the pastry front these days, right? But I can't resist my sourdough obsession, and it's so sweet. And honestly, I'm a texture guy, and the texture of the pasta is just amazing. So you guys got to check it out. And the fact that it only takes 25 minutes, you know, the dialers know. Hannah and I were not good with the cooking. So make it easy for us.
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Starting point is 00:41:44 You know, I love seeing these built signs everywhere. I'm a big fan of build. I just think it's amazing. that this service exists. It always annoys me that it didn't exist when I was younger and I was renting. So if you are renting, then you need to know about built. Okay? It's 2026.
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Starting point is 00:43:13 And soon owning a home will be better with built too. So earn rewards, get something back wherever you live. join the loyalty program for renters at joinbuilt.com slash burn. That's join built, J-O-I-N-B-B-I-T, okay? Joinbilt.com slash burn. Make sure to use our URL so they know that we sent you. Let's go to the next one. Hi, Hannah.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Hi, hi, Des. Okay, get this one. I cannot stand when someone puts their foot on my chair. Like say I'm sitting at the kitchen table and the person sitting next to me sets their foot on my footrest or at a bar stool. If the person next to me rests their foot on my stool or even sets the side of their foot against the bottom of my chair. I cannot stand it. My siblings did it growing up. My ex used to do it.
Starting point is 00:44:08 And now if my kids do it, I have to refrain from physically kicking their feet off my chair because it makes me so irrationally annoyed. I just say, please put your foot off. for my chair. Anyway, thank you. But also, please don't ever touch my chair when I'm sitting in it. Yes. This is a nice, specific one that I think I can identify with. I don't like that feeling, actually.
Starting point is 00:44:36 Yeah, don't put your feet by me. What's that? I said, yeah, don't put your feet by me in general. I don't want your feet near me. Yeah, because like sometimes, if I'm with somebody, like, if I'm with Hannah, and like sometimes, bar stools, the footrests are like not placed in a convenient way. So like, I will put my foot across on Hannah's barstool footrest for like having dinner
Starting point is 00:44:59 somewhere. But as strangers, unacceptable, unacceptable. And, you know, just in general, when like you're in a shared space and there's just no way around the fact that sometimes people are like going to have some sort of contact with you or the thing that you're sitting on, it's just an. an annoying feeling. Planes are really more the place where the drama happens.
Starting point is 00:45:24 You know? Actually, Chris, this keeps coming up. I guess partially because I sometimes look at the Delta Reddit. What is your personal opinion on the reclining seat? Everyone seems to be quite
Starting point is 00:45:40 divided. Depends where I'm sitting. No, I typically kind of just keep it where it's at, to be honest. I don't want no problems. I'm not going to be year. I also don't take a lot of long flights though. Yeah. See, I feel like on a long flight, if you're going to go to sleep, it's very acceptable to recline in that the understanding is that we're all supposed to be sleeping on this flight. So if you're in the minority and you're choosing not to sleep, like don't get annoyed when the
Starting point is 00:46:10 person puts their seat back. Like, I feel like at night, long flight, it's like we're all fucking putting our seats back, okay? We're doing this in unison. All right? And everybody When everybody puts their seat back, it just kind of works. Okay. But on a short flight, right, where at least 50% of the plane think it's rude to put the seat back, just don't put your seat back because it's just going to be a clash of ideologies. It's like we're in a shared space, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Like, I'm not saying you're wrong, even though I don't agree with you. Not saying you're wrong. But what I am saying is it's not unanimous. all right so if it's not unanimous let's just like you know just keep the keep the status quo because the reality is then people would say well why is the upright well because the truth is when you're taking off in your landing you have to be upright you walked on the plane everything was upright that's the status quo right reclining is a an alteration all right it's what's the word when it when something is you know like you're changing from the norm
Starting point is 00:47:20 You know, it's a, having a fucking morning brain fart here. But anyway, needs to say, you're, you're breaking from the sort of like, neutral position. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:31 So, let, like, just accept it's not a big deal. The recline isn't that much, by the way. The recline is really only good for,
Starting point is 00:47:39 like, your head not falling forward every time you fall asleep, right? So, just don't do it. I also don't get irrationally angry
Starting point is 00:47:47 when people do it. So when I see these, videos of people like having like full on brawls over the reclining. I don't understand that. But, um, but that is one of these things that seems to just like be a constant course, uh, cause of consternation. I will say I had a very funny, which I forgot to talk about. I wish we talked about it because Hannah was there. A very funny, plain scenario, which I haven't had many, but this was like full on like, holy shit. I could like make a video about. the argument that should have happened when this happened.
Starting point is 00:48:22 So Hannah and I were flying first class Delta. And, you know, it was freezing in New York. So I had a big jacket. Now, I'm not a big fan of putting the jackets up top. But one, I actually didn't, because I checked in my bag, I didn't have anything in the overhead. And two, like the flight attendant, like nobody had taken my coat. So I was in first class.
Starting point is 00:48:47 It's actually quite a lot of people on first class already. there was a ton of space still in the bin so I was like fuck it I'll put it up you know and it's also like you can squish my jacket I don't mind but the flight attendants had actually put their bags over my seat right and so it was loads of space like two seats up I put it up there
Starting point is 00:49:07 and this woman gets on and she's like trying to fit her bags in and she just takes my coat out and she's like whose jacket is this and I was like, oh, that's mine. And she throws it at me.
Starting point is 00:49:22 I was like, excuse. She throws it at me. I was like, excuse me? And she's like, that's your jacket was in my bin. And I actually said, but like it didn't get heard because the flight attendant got involved before I could even. I had said that's not actually how it works. But the flight attendant just came over and said, sir, I'll take your jackets. sir, right?
Starting point is 00:49:50 And then this British woman like actually grabbed my jacket and helped me pass it back and these British women were just like talking shit about the old woman because they had seen it and which was very satisfying to me,
Starting point is 00:50:02 you know? They were actually English, you know? And they were like, oh man, somebody's fucking some miserable fucking bitch, mate. You just wanted to win the room, win the room over. I was loving it. So anyway,
Starting point is 00:50:17 because then the flight attendant came over and I was like, know, people don't understand that it's for first-class passengers. It's not your, like, and this is the thing. For anyone that's on a plane, it's actually like not your bin, all right? There's not even enough space for the three seats in your section, right? It's not your bin. Now, I will understand that jackets in the bin are like kind of, like, the last priority.
Starting point is 00:50:40 I 100% agree. And I was very aware that when my jack went up there, that I was willing to like smush it somewhere else, you know, when bags were up there, okay? But I can't do anything about the fact that there was like a lot of people on the plane and there was nothing there yet, right? And people that are in economy don't put their bags in the first class section. So it's not as treasured a spot anyway. So I was doing it amongst like I'm aware of all the etiquette.
Starting point is 00:51:09 I'm aware of all the bin etiquette, okay? So the fact that you are entitled enough to think you can just throw somebody's jacket because it's your bin, right? And I'm in first class too. You know, it's not like I'm just somebody back in a... And by the way, I'm not dissing people in economy. I'm just talking about the class system of the plane, all right? We're just...
Starting point is 00:51:29 We're living within the confines of this unique society, right? Which has its rules and regulations. Like, the minute you step in a plane, you're literally under a different form of government, right? The pilot can just kick you off for no fucking reason. How many videos have you seen if people being like, what, why the fuck about you? And it's like, it doesn't matter, bro. You don't have any rights here. If they decide they don't want you to fly, you're not fucking flying.
Starting point is 00:51:51 So argue all you want. And you might even be right. But you're not right in this situation. Get the fuck off the plane, right? So we're in a little fucking, you know, a little dictatorship of plane rules and regulations. And I'm very aware of them. All right. But just taking somebody's shit and throwing it at them is a violation of the code.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Yeah, that's crazy. It was crazy. I actually much preferred my jacket to be in the flight attendant closet. But, like, I'm also just, there was just a lot going on when you get on the plane, you know? Yeah. Anyway, Hannah was actually very proud of me because I, even though I calmly said, that's not how it works. Nobody actually heard that. And then I never, I didn't escalate.
Starting point is 00:52:38 I let it go. But, of course, Murphy's law, when we got off the plane, like, every time we stopped to go to the bathroom, waiting for our bags, waiting for a fucking taxi. At every juncture, we were next to this fucking miserable bitch. It was so funny. So we couldn't talk about it like a dog. Because every time I was about it was about it, I look up and like, there she is. Like a fucking horror movie.
Starting point is 00:53:05 But it is funny, though. Sometimes people's things. Anyway, planes bring out the worst of people. Sorry, I talked about that for a long time. So let's go to another one. Hi guys. My name is Ellen and I am a very old listener. I have been listening since the Taylor Stricker show where it was the Schoengate.
Starting point is 00:53:32 Anyway, most annoying thing that my guy does is he rearranges my words to say the same thing that I just said only in his words. is so fucking annoying we go back and forth with it it's just ridiculous all right I love you guys bye oh Hannah would have loved that one it's kind of like an evolution of what she was talking about last week
Starting point is 00:54:00 I mean what can I say I feel like that one that one will land well with the dialers and it's such a nice message Hannah talks about that was pre me meeting Hannah, Sconegate. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:16 You know? Are you familiar with the Schoenade? I am. Taylor filled me in at some point while I was recording. Oh, Taylor. Yes. By the way, Taylor has agreed
Starting point is 00:54:24 to pop in as a guest host. That'd be awesome. In fact, she was supposed to, well, she wasn't supposed to, she didn't do anything wrong, but we were going to have Taylor as a guest host one of the weeks that Hannah was away the last time
Starting point is 00:54:36 and it just, the way, it just didn't pan out. Like, we literally had it planned and then it just didn't happen. So congratulations to the tailors. The two tailors had a baby. So congratulations to them. Actually, right as I say, we don't have Taylor as a guest.
Starting point is 00:54:51 I'm like, this bitch is busy, yo. So I don't know. We'll see if we can get. Do you know what actually? Do you know what would be so amazing, actually? I think I'll try to get Taylor on and we'll do an episode for like new parents. Like, what's the best advice for new parents from the parents? So we'll do like a new mom's app.
Starting point is 00:55:16 And obviously people are like, well, that's kind of niche, people just dealing with. But no, but it's like things that you may deal with, things that you have dealt with. And also just, you know, we'll just have the funny chats and we'll be able to, we'll be able to mine Taylor's early parenting experiences. So I'll put that out in the ether. I actually love chatting with Taylor. She's a fun in real life, obviously, but in this context, professionally on podcasts and stuff,
Starting point is 00:55:44 she's easy to chat to. Very enthusiastic about every topic. So let's crack on. Let's do a couple more, Chris. Hi. So I am an American married to a Brit who has been living in the UK for about a dozen years. And I give that context because I don't know
Starting point is 00:56:04 if this is a cultural thing because I've seen other Brits do it besides my husband. But the thing that he does that drives me particularly crazy, is that when he is washing dishes in the sink, he'll fill up the whole sink with hot water, sudzy, bubbles, all that, give it a clean, and then he won't rinse the dishes. He won't rinse them. He just puts them on the drying rack, and the bubbles are still there, and it drives me crazy.
Starting point is 00:56:26 And I have seen a few other people when I've been in the UK do this in their homes, hashtag not all Brits, but a few other people have done this. And when I've asked them about this, the answer has been, well, the bubbles will just dry off. I find it so disgusting because it's like, no, the soap is still on your dishes, on your plates, on whatever you're cleaning. And my husband and I have like literally got into fights over this because he doesn't like me telling him how to do the dishes. But come on. So, I mean, honestly for me, this was just very nostalgic because when I first moved to Ireland in 1990, I was taken aback by the sort of like not really rinsing.
Starting point is 00:57:09 just like letting the soap drip off on the rack. And this is 100% a thing. I didn't know it was still a thing. I think the basic... So here's what I think, all right? But in history. But hot water used to be not as, like, ubiquitous as it is these days. I think in certainly the Irish,
Starting point is 00:57:30 but I also think in the UK, you used to have to kind of, like, heat the water. It was very expensive to heat the water? Like, because you used to use immersion heating which were like electrical elements. Needless to say, a lot of the time, to save water, you would just like, you'd fill the sink, right? Put the washing up liquid in there.
Starting point is 00:57:49 And then you, that, like, you wouldn't have the water running at the side. And also, like, in British and Irish homes, I feel like the whole concept of, like, the side sink or a second sink was like not a phenomenon. That's like a modern phenomenon. And American kitchens in general, particularly in the night when I moved to Ireland, American kitchens were just way bigger.
Starting point is 00:58:11 Bigger fridges, bigger sinks, just bigger everything. So I think in the more traditional British and Irish homes, there was just like the small enough sink that you could fill it, put the dishes in there, and like you just didn't have the water running the whole time, and you couldn't have the cold water running because then it would make the water that you wash it in. So it was more like a practicality.
Starting point is 00:58:33 And since in all those years, nobody has experienced any repercussions from the suds kind of dripping off the plate, I think it's not a big deal, you know? It did freak me out at first, but then I just accepted it, especially you accept it because, you know, it's just like less work when you're washing the dishes, you know?
Starting point is 00:58:56 So that's kind of handy too. So I get you, I feel you, but I think it's actually not a big deal. And one day you will accept. accept it too. One day, you will accept how other parts of the world wash their dishes. Let's finish on glasses of water, too.
Starting point is 00:59:19 Classes of water, too. Finally, a prompt I have maybe more than one or two answers for. I love my husband dearly. We've met 10 years ago, married nine, three kids. And he already knows all of these. There is glasses of water everywhere. One by his bed, one by his office desk, one by the couch, one by, actually, by his desk would probably be three.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Because he'll like go upstairs, forget that he poured one, come back down, and then think that he needs to pour another one when he goes up two hours later and then brings in another one. So many glasses of seltzer water everywhere. Everywhere. And also his socks. Why? He always takes off at least one sock. by the couch. Why one? It's like a murder mystery. Why is there only one sock? Then you have one sock on your foot the rest of the night? Yeah, and it's totally fine and normal. Oh my God, why do men do that? I just don't understand. Bye. Love him. But, well, you know, listen, there's a lot going on here. I laugh because I think about myself. But also, I promise you, it's not just men. Because I am married to a chronic glass lever. She's not here to defend herself. Well, she is. She's not here to defend herself. Well, she is. She's actually sleeping.
Starting point is 01:00:41 But the leaving of the glasses, I don't think it's a male thing. I think it's a messy person thing. Or maybe, of course, like a lot of people, it'll just be blamed on like ADHD. Like somebody will say it's a trait of ADHD, which I'm not dismissing that it isn't. I'm just not a fan of the sort of like very quick,
Starting point is 01:01:06 you know, just dismissal of things as ADHD. ADHD traits without really any evidence for, like a lot of them, you know? Anyway, Hannah does it a lot, but the problem is that I can't complain because I do it a lot. Even though I'm really, I'm less inclined to actually take my water away from the sink. I'm kind of a chugger. I'm like, oh, I'm thirsty. I fill a glass, I'll chug it. But I will actually leave the glass out.
Starting point is 01:01:35 I leave the glass out by the sink because I think like, oh, I use that again. when I come back. Chug later, yep. But then some, yeah, I'm not even chugged, it's just saying glass. I'm not, I very rarely leave anything in the glass, you know. So I'm not as inclined to bring a glass of water over when I'm watching TV.
Starting point is 01:01:53 I will obviously bring a more pleasant drink. But when it comes to water, I'm sort of like, to me, I treat water as medicine. I think it's more like I drink out of necessity rather than enjoyment. How do you feel about that? I always forget to drink water at all the time. So I'm just, yeah, I got a jug. I'm going back to the jug.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Right. Yeah, so this woman was saying that he was drinking the salsa water, which is totally fair enough. I have at times, though, you know, like if I'm bringing something to the room for whatever reason, I'm not a big fan of bringing drinks to the room in general. To me, it's kind of a no-no. but I have contradicted myself and brought glasses to the room
Starting point is 01:02:40 maybe times when I'm like feeling not great or you know, but I do find that a glass can stay on the nightstand for way too long. Yeah. Especially if it's just water. If it's a drink that smells in any way, like coffee or something,
Starting point is 01:02:55 the sort of the remaining smell will motivate me to have to get rid of it. But a glass of water, it can stay there honestly, until it spills on the carpet. That's where it always sounds tough. Let's be honest. Like if I leave, basically, if I leave a glass on the nightstand,
Starting point is 01:03:14 I'm lying to myself and saying that it's going to be fine, but I know in my heart that that will spill. You know, I'll be half asleep trying to grab my phone. I'll knock it over. I'll be trying to do something else. I'll knock it over. Like, it's going to happen. And I lie to myself out of laziness and I leave it there.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Is that kind of universal? It's the worst when you spill something that you should have moved like a week ago. You're like, I could have just avoided this all by just doing what I was supposed to do from the beginning. Now it's 4 o'clock in the morning. My phone is soaked. Like my rug is soaked. I'm going to step in it like it's no good. Amen.
Starting point is 01:03:52 Because listen, a spill is bad enough. But a spill that, you know, shows, reminds you of how imperfect you are as a human being because you know that it's your fault. that's just a lot to take. Yeah. You know? So, and that is, that is what a spill in the bedroom does to me. Or, um, another great risk that we take sometimes is, have you ever been like morning coffee or something and you're on the couch and you've decided to sit on a part of the couch?
Starting point is 01:04:25 Or like maybe your couch doesn't have like a side table. I do this every time I get on the couch. Yeah. I pin it in between pillows and such. Yeah. Or you put it on like a firm if you're, if your, if your couch. is firm. And I say, every time I do it, I'm like,
Starting point is 01:04:39 one day I'm going to get burned on this. Yeah. Like one day, this, by the way, white couch, the one I'm really thinking about is Hannah and I's whiteish couch. Like one day, this is going to spill. And I'm going to hate myself.
Starting point is 01:04:55 But you know what's so great about Hannah and I's marriage? I don't worry about Hannah getting angry because we are both such repeat offenders for a stupid shit like that. that it's just like it was going to happen, wasn't it? It's just the way, like, we're both going to do shit like this. But yeah, I do take that risk. I really do.
Starting point is 01:05:17 And what happens is you don't get burned for a while, so then you get more confident. You get cocky. Yeah, but you'll be reminded again. We will all be reminded again. And it's life. And here's the thing. For your own personal journey as well as the journey of history, world history, it's clear as day
Starting point is 01:05:38 that mistakes will be made like putting the coffee cup on the couch and even though at the beginning you think this time it's going to be different the coffee will spill and there will be a disaster with a very long spectrum from a staying on your couch
Starting point is 01:05:54 to society breaking down as a whole and entering into a new dark ages where the world is just governed by fact that will take generations to return to the peaceful coexistence, general peaceful coexistence that existed before the selfishness of humanity was unleashed by the power of the internet. But from the coffee cup to that,
Starting point is 01:06:21 it's always down to people thinking that it's going to be different this time. So just keep that in mind, dialers, this week, when you're out there. And most importantly, on planes and, in everyday society where we're in our shared spaces, just realize that it's just better to be kind and to try to control the emotions of frustration that these small little irritants can bring up in us. And this is not a judgment.
Starting point is 01:06:50 This is from somebody who also gets irrationally irritated at things. And obviously to all my mesophones out there, to all my people who struggle with the mouth noises and different things, I hear you. I see you in the Spotify comments. And we have each other's back. So until next week, Chris, anything you'd like to say since you're much more part of the episode today? How did you feel?
Starting point is 01:07:12 It felt great. Go ahead and buy Dez's self-help book that I assume he was just about to promote right there. Well, you know, it's funny. It's one of my early Irish jokes, it was in my first Irish special. Because I think I was doing jokes about how Irish people are very dismissive of like American sort of therapy talk. And so I was saying I was going to. write the first Irish self-help book, and it's called Asher Fuck It, which to Irish people was a very funny punchline because it's like, it doesn't, you know, it's basically like Irish
Starting point is 01:07:46 people kind of live their life. It's like, you know, should I, I, I sure, fuck it. You know? So anyway, so, but my self-help book, I actually don't really know what my self-help book could be called. Uh-huh. Well, we're done. My self-help could be called. My self-help could be called, you have a right to be angry, but allowing yourself. it's really going to cause more problems than it solves. So if I can find a way to just ignore it. But if you do get angry, you're not an asshole. But your anger comes across as more angry than it is.
Starting point is 01:08:18 So just remember that when you actually do allow yourself to be angry, people are going to think that you're, you know, about to commit like a mass murder when you're really just like, you know, trying to express to them like a very simple thing. But you were raised in a way where like loud voices were normalized. so people are going to be afraid. Oh, sorry. Big, big cover, small font.
Starting point is 01:08:39 Big cover, small font. I feel like that book would do really well in the outer boroughs of New York City where every guy was like raised that way. No, no, I'm not shouting. I'm not fucking shouting. It's like, well, why is my hair going back when you're speaking?
Starting point is 01:08:59 So, anyway, oh, actually, Chris, the last thing I'll say before we shut it down, You know, we never discussed, and this is for the consumption of the dialers, we never discussed like your involvement in today's episode. It was just like you're going to produce. But very naturally, you were just like involved. What was your feeling before we started? Did you have a thought about that?
Starting point is 01:09:22 Just always, always take it as it comes. Always take it out of the comes. I was like, we'll see how it goes recording at 6 o'clock in the morning. But we'll take it out. Yeah, but it's different. But this situation is different though. because it feels like it's just me and you talk. Whereas like when you're on with the girls,
Starting point is 01:09:37 it's the two of them, or when you're on with me and Hannah, it's the two of us, like chatting and you're like, I'll pop in every now and then. Whereas in this situation, it's like, we're on a fucking Zoom,
Starting point is 01:09:47 me and you. Yeah, we're doing the damn thing. Tell us, tell us if you liked it in the Spotify comments. Yeah. Tell us if you hated it.
Starting point is 01:09:58 All right. Anyway, thanks so much, Chris. Thank you. Thanks to you. Thanks to you. the dollars will be back next week in whatever format as we as we evolve moving forward but
Starting point is 01:10:08 this is very important guys and i'm going to keep reiterating this you got to stay with us and you got to spread the word because we can't have a situation where the podcast kind of collapses uh you know and uh not not just because that would be embarrassing but also because you know like i we i think the format itself regardless of who's hosting it the format itself really works. So we really want to keep this thing going. And it does require you guys. And by the way, I'm not saying that your boyfriends don't listen, but maybe because some men are just funny with female voices. And I don't accept that in any way. Like, I'm not saying this. But like, try to get them, try to get them to send a message every now and then. You know, I think,
Starting point is 01:10:54 honestly, you know what it is? I think Hannah can be quite roasty at the men at her shows and stuff, which it's hilarious. No problem with it. I think it's amazing. But I think maybe sometimes the male the male listeners, the dialers, the men, they are afraid to, like, message in because
Starting point is 01:11:14 I think they think that Hannah will just trash them, you know? So, it's a safe space, guys. This is all just a big setup, so we get all the boyfriends to reply and then Hannah comes back and just eviscerates a home is that weird? Who's this fucking idiot?
Starting point is 01:11:29 go to therapy. That'd be Hannah's answer 70% of the time. Go to therapy, bro. All right, everybody. Anyway, most importantly, spread the word. Okay? Spread the word. We're here to stay.
Starting point is 01:11:44 And thank you, Chris, for your tireless work this morning. Thank you. I'll see you guys next week. Bye.

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