Berner Phone - Berner Phone #127: Green Flags with Caitlin Peluffo

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

Today we're joined by guest host Caitlin Peluffo to talk about the dialers top green flags in dating and beyond! Get tickets to see Hannah on tour here. Get tickets to see Des on tour here. Get tickets to see Cailtin on tour here.

Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the Burner Phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Burner Phone. Special episode of Burnifone today, because not only do we have Chris, but we have a special guest. Caitlin Palufo, one of my favorite comedians on the circuit.

How are you, Caitlin? Hi, Des. I'm good. I'm excited to be here. You know, since the dawn of Burnaphone, you're only the third guest that we've ever had. Stop. Are you serious? Yeah, we had once... I'd be honored.

Yeah, once Joanne McNally filled in, and then recently we had Gabby Bryant. And, you know, Hannah's kind of gone, at least temporarily for a while. And myself and Chris were holding down the fort. But then I got a great suggestion of a prompt of... green flags in men, but I posted it on my Instagram as green flags and men or women. But the truth is, Caitlin, we very, really get men messaging in. This is a very female focus podcast. But I thought this is a great suggestion, but how can Neen Chris handle this topic on our own?

Two men, we need a female perspective. You can't, yeah. Can't do it. You guys would be like, oh, a green flag, me playing video games until dawn. means he's focused. Yeah. No, no, no. You need a woman.

So, so I, there's actually, this is a very rare thing, Chris. But we do have two men that have messaged in. Wow. One, you can play

in the mix of everything. But there's one that says problematic. I want you to save it to the end. Understood. Understood. So anyway, well, first of all,

Caitlin, because everyone does it at the end where people might, might have tapered off. So where can people find you in this life after they fall in love with you on the pod? Oh, my gosh. How presumptuous.

I am at Caitlin Palufo on Instagram. Spell it, because a lot of Caitlin's, a lot of Caitlin spells. I know. It's the traditional, you would be proud, the traditional Irish spelling, C-A-I-T-L-I-N. Yes. And what are you doing with the Palufo? Why have you sullied this beautiful Irish name with Palufo? Ask my father, that dirty Italian.

I'm truly the most Catholic name possible. Caitlin Palufo. It's a joke I have in my show is that growing up, the Italians and the Irish, we hated each other, and then we married each other. That's kind of how it goes down. Exactly. The men are just too enticing. Well, yeah, except I've gone the other way, Hannah's half Italian, so I grew up with, you know, I actually. didn't hate Italians.

Most of my best friends growing up were Italian, but we did have a kind of... How big of you. No, but there was a rivalry. I don't know what kind of neighborhood you grew up in, but there was like a rivalry between the Irish and the Italians, in a not like violent way. Yeah.

Yeah, with us, it was us first the rich. It was the working class versus the rich. So race had nothing to do with it. We were like, ah, fuck that guy with his BMW. Yes, much better for the script. one day when you write it. It's harder. It's hard to have a script.

It's like, why do these two European descendants fucking hate each other? It just doesn't make any sense. Yeah. All right, Chris, let's get into it. How are you, Chris? I'm sorry, because, you know, me and Chris have been doing the pot on our own for the last couple of weeks, and now suddenly somebody else comes in, and we're just ignoring you here. How are you, Chris?

That's quite all right. I know how to play my position. I'm good, man. I'm good. We got some boxers in the studio today. We had Canelo in yesterday, and we got Deonté Wilder coming in tomorrow. Wow. Or today.

That's serious. Now, Caitlin, you probably know who they are because you're so into fitness and shit. I mean, I have no clue. They sound terrifying. Great guys. Great guys. Those are big. They sound like they didn't hit you. No, those are actually quite famous boxes.

Good for you, Chris. You're stepping up in the world, man. Thanks, man. Thanks. Caitlin, last week we did Hills to Die on. Oh, here we are. And before we even listen. Before we even listen to it, because you know how burn a phone works, right?

You know that people, you're going to listen to people's voice messages, right? So before we even started, though, I asked Chris, what's the hell to die on? Chris comes in hot with children should only be allowed on flights for essential travel. Young children for essential travel. Wow. There's some key words in here. There's some key words in here. I just want to point out because we kind of use the Spotify comments as our feedback section.

Oh, yeah. People, they can comment specifically on the episode in Spotify, so it's a kind of a handy way to gather. They fed back. Chris, I think it's the most messages we've ever had on Spotify. Well, okay, this is my thought process. Number one, I think I heard somebody talking about it, like probably on a podcast. Don't listen to podcasts, except for this one is basically the rule because they'll get you in trouble. So I think that was like in my mind, sort of.

And also, it's a hill to die on. I felt like if nobody was pissed off, then you didn't do your, you know, you didn't do a good job. No, 100%. Do I regret opening with it? I think so. Yeah, I think we could have talked out at the end. Did you see the Spotify comment that said, this episode was too intense, not the more of a phone, not that any, by the way, Caitlin, it wasn't that intense.

It was actually a great episode. But I think people found it intense because Chris came in hot and then all the moms were like, fuck this shit. Yeah, they were not having it. Which I understand. I can see. I'll take that. That's so funny. I mean, he hates families.

He hates families. Yeah, I do not hate families. But maybe, yeah, maybe family advice from the 28-year-old single guy. Probably not the best place to get it from. By the way, you got a lot of support, too, and I have to tell you, I didn't put him in. But, you know, sometimes throughout the week we get messages in on the actual messaging, the messaging service that gives us the voice messages. You got a lot of support on there, you know?

I appreciate that. It's a device. I wonder if it's because they like me or they, hey kids. Because that topic is very divisive, you know? And it's just one of those things. It is always a great thing to like get the anger going in the comments. In fairness, Bernaphone generally isn't that vibe.

And I don't think that episode was that vibe. But I felt like I wanted to go for something more positive, more aspirational today, which is why we've gone for green flags. I didn't get Caitlin in because you were a bad boy last week, by the way, Chris, just in case you were thinking. A bad boy. Boy. I picked that up, but I'm glad you said it out loud for the $4.

Because they would have been like, oh, Chris, he's already fucking up. All right. So let's start. Let's get Caitlin in the mix. And I put a couple in here that I felt were, I put one or two in here because I thought they would be right down your alley. But I'm not going to say which ones. Go ahead, Chris. Okay.

Yeah, I was going to pick what is probably one of those in Pander first. But I kind of, there's another one that's speaking to me. I'm going to go with that. Okay. Go ahead. Hi Hannah and Paige. Okay, my relationship green flag, hot take. Get you a man who has tried crack once.

I can't believe you. My fiance is in long-term recovery. He's been married once before. And he's tried crack once. And, you know, get you a man who's tried everything once. Because then he's content. He's good. He's happy with what he has now.

And that's my hot take. Okay, love you both. Bye. Chris, I can't believe you're open with that one. Unbelievable. A lot of harsh openings these days, apparently. I just thought that one was funny. By the way, are you Hannah or Paige, Caitlin?

Who do you want to be? I'll be Paige. I'll be Paige. Are you familiar enough with Paige's voice to even attempt to do... No. No, no, no, no. I wouldn't dare. Burn a phone has never been page, but...

When Hannah posts the prompt, which, by the way, Hannah posted the prompt differently to me. I posted green flags in men or women. Hannah posted as green flags in your relationship. So anyway, sometimes when Hannah posts, people think it's for giggly squads, just in case you're wondering. Yeah.

But, I mean, listen. I mean, tried crack. I get what she's saying. I don't know if I would be like, oh, green flag. I would be more like, oh, interesting. Yes. I wouldn't judge you. Either way, but I wouldn't be like, well, now you're hotter to me because you've tried crack.

I mean, it's basically a shocking way to say, find yourself a man that's in recovery, basically. Find yourself a man that has overcome his demons. And I have to tell you, as a man that, you know, obviously I've been clean and sober a long time. But I'm only going to 50% agree. Okay. Because after being in recovery a long time and battling with my demer, you know, demons throughout my life, which don't, by the way, they don't disappear. That's the thing that's very important. You know, the, the, the monster inside you that drove you to, like, try to hide from

yourself, you know, it doesn't go to sleep. You know, you have to find various ways to tame it throughout your life. So you are dealing with the, now, everybody's flawed in their own way, but what I am saying is that actually, if you were, if there was, like, relationship insurance, if there was like a business that was like relationship insurance, it's like, hey, you can take a policy out on this going tits up. I guarantee you somebody who's publicly said

they're in recovery, their insurance, it's going to be a more expensive insurance. You know? It's got a skyrocket, baby. There's more of a chance that there's some fucking shit going on. And I'm saying that as somebody who's in recovery. So I'm going to say that I get what she's trying to say,

but I also think that there is there is green and red flags associated with somebody in recovery. So I'm going to put a caveat, which is if they're in recovery and actively working on themselves, then it's a green flag. Yes. Have you ever dated like an addict? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well, I dated someone who, a lot of boys who should be in recovery.

Not a green flag, I would say. Yes. And then I dated one guy recently who was sober, and that was fine. It was fine. It was intense. He got attached very quickly. Right. See, that's one of the things.

Yes. So I would say it's a, if you're into that, if you love a love bomb, then I say it's a green flag. But it actually, it did end. I will say it did end. That's a good point because the problem is that you say you find somebody who's tried crack. but you don't want to be their crack. You know what I'm saying? No.

Because then, yeah, that's a very good point. Thank you. I'm very wise. All right, Chris, let's plow on. That was a wild one. Yeah, that was crazy. Let's keep it wild. Hey, guys.

Green flag and a man would be that they go down on you without you having to ask them to. every guy before my current boyfriend I had to ask them to go down on me and none of them were excited to do so except for my current boyfriend who I never had to ask him to it was like the first time we were hooking up his face immediately went down there and I was like

you know the angels were singing because I was like wow I've found the one and he's a giant nerd so that's also a green flag because nerds seem to know what they're doing apparently and I never have to worry about what he's doing because he's always playing his games

when he's not with me he's either playing his games or he's playing with my vagina so anyways love you guys bye this would be the more perfect phone call I've ever heard in my life

I love this I'm happy for this woman I have dated a man who loves to go down on you and a big nerd I swear to God one time I thought he was cheating I look at his phone and he's reading comic books I couldn't have been embarrassed that I was like why would I ever think that he was cheating on me he was reading about Superman

I was like I'm fine okay yeah no the going down is a big thing these kids they don't do it anymore I'll tell you really so just for the record this was I put this in specifically for you which I can from your reaction I was correct I lit up like a firework No, because by the way, everybody, the burn the phone, the dialers,

Caitlin has some of the best quote unquote dirty material, although I really don't like when sexual material is considered dirty, which is an absolute joke, right? Absolute sort of like dated judgment of what talking about sex is as far as material goes. But Caitlin is an absolute expert. She is the Dr. Ruth of fucking sex material. Thank you. That's why...

Tell my mother. Now, what I... I tell your mother that you need a guy to go down on you without... Oh, no, she told me that. She's judging. So, hey, so here's the thing, right? I'm a big going down guy. You know, the most viral clip I've ever had is a bit about going down.

However, I did once date a woman who really wasn't into it. And I went to go down and she was like, no, I don't like that. You know what she said? she said it's too intimate. That's what she said. Did it change once you got to know her more? Well, that was a very tumultuous relationship in general, but without getting into too much detail. I eventually got her to like, you know, kind of like, like, get comfortable enough where

she could like start to enjoy it. But I think either she had a bad experience or she was just, she was just like a little uptight, maybe a little paranoid. I think some, I think some people can be a little paranoid about what's going to. going on down there, you know? But anyway, other than that, I think, I think this is a great green flag. But how can you, actually, let me ask you this since you said this.

Are you finding that people are less likely to go down now? I, it was funny, before my long-term relationship, every guy went down, every single time. And that was maybe like, so we were together for six years and before that. So, and he was too. So it was always like, in the last 10, 15 years, up until now. Now I've gone out with a few guys and only one was like, I'll go down every single time. You don't have to ask. You know what I mean? So it's, uh, it's, uh, it's, uh, it could be bad luck,

it could be bad luck, but it could be a scientific studies, which, yeah, I'm, I am a scientist, okay, uh, I'm the new Jane Goodall for eating pussy. Thank you. Um, but yeah, no, I think it's, uh, it's shifted. Um, They do it every once in a while, but to do it without being asked is, like, the biggest green flag on the planet, I think. Yeah, that's so interesting. Because what you do with that other woman was you offered, and she said no, and that's the way it should be.

Yeah. Well, I would always, because I was, listen, I don't want to get, I don't want to get too much detail, but, like, I always felt like going down was like a cheat code. It's like, hey, you're going to, you're going to try to do all this stuff that's actually way more difficult to get success. Why don't you go down for like a much higher hit rate, you know?

Right? And because there's no competition because there's so, so many guys are trash that don't do it or bad at it sets you part. Like that's her boyfriend. I like this. Numbers got by the numbers. Caitlin, what's your, what's your, what do you say when a guy's down there and it's like he's just not good at it? Oh, I coach. Oh, that's crazy.

See, that's positive. And how do men take that? The first time I let them do whatever, you know. Right, right. Give me your, I don't want to discourage any of it. Take notes. That's like a golf swing coach. A golf swing coach is like, let me see what you do before I get involved.

Exactly. Let's see. I'm going to get, because I know you're putting your best foot forward. Let's see what's going on. And then, and then even if it's bad, I'll just be like, I think you, you know, I'll, I won't ever fake an orgasm, but I will act more appreciative than usual. So you'll show more appreciation than is deserved for his work? Yes.

As an encouraging thing. It's an encouraging. It's like, here's a biscuit. Thank you. Good boy. And then how do you, what's the kind of, what's the coaching sort of etiquette for you? What do you? What's your vibe on the coach?

you softly say it and then if and then usually they'll ask um and then uh then i tell them what i like i mean what's that like when you made the guy so paranoid he's doing something wrong that he's like checking every five seconds like is it like looking up no no it's like afterwards he's like looking up like is this okay about this okay popping up like a fucking minor yeah he's got a lamp hello Yeah. I used to do that in a joke years ago. So anyway, yeah, no, because that is, because I used to do the kind of like a sex podcast with Katie Boyle,

and that came up a lot about, like, the best sex lives are where people who, like, aren't afraid to tell their partner what they like or tell their partner to change it up, but also the partner man or a woman that doesn't get, like, offensive. or upset or intimidated because they're being told. Like, especially what I feel like, especially for men, right? Because there's less of a spectrum of, like, what's good and bad to do to a man. But with a woman, it's like so broad. You could literally hit the jackpot on one woman to the exact same thing on another woman.

And she's like, I can't stand that. And that's just like very normal, right? So, like, you have to be open to be like, okay, what's your thing? But a lot of men aren't apparently, which is clearly a red flag. Yeah, I would say that's a red flag. Yes. Have you ever been... Open mind green flag.

Have you ever been with a guy where you're like, tell him to do something? Not like in a dominatrix way, but you like suggest something and he's like gets a little like his masculinity. Masculinity is challenged. Does that ever happen? Interesting. Yeah. And then he'll be like, well, I don't like that. And it's like, well, this is over.

Yeah. I think I've only told a woman one time. She did something that I didn't like. And it was, she snapped your fingers and like, you know, she snapped your fingers and tried to like, like, like, order me. And I was just like, yo, it's totally fine that you did that. But just so you know, like, it's not my vibe. Yeah. I think that's fine.

Yeah, no, it was fine. Yeah, there's something wrong with that. It didn't, it didn't ruin the vibe. But it was such a like a, like, a, like, I'm just not like, I'm just not into that. And I was like, I was like, whoa. I was like, just so you know, like you don't, you don't have to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. that's the only time ever

that's the difference between men and women it's like basically whatever you do it's gonna be fine that's how Des tells the world he doesn't like people eating his ass oh no no no no that's by the way just for the record that is fake news

what you just said absolute fake news absolute fake news I am a big advocate for that you know and these fucking these young comics that are acting like the Gen Zs were the first ones to do that shit. I promise you.

All right. We just didn't go on about it. Fucking pioneer. Anyway, it's fucking pie. God damn, Daughters, man. Hannah's gone a couple of weeks. We're out of control here.

They're going to light us up in the Spotify's. No, I think that's positive. Sex positive. It's always been a sex positive podcast. Very sex positive. All right, Chris. Keep her lit. All right.

Let's see what we can do here. I know a few people are going to disagree with me. And I promise this isn't toxic and it might sound toxic. But a green flag for me, at least in my relationship, is not texting me all day long. Like, I don't want to feel like I have to be checking my phone and texting you all day long. Otherwise, there's going to be tension. Like, I'm a busy girl. I'm working.

hanging out with the girls. I'm having me time. Like, I don't feel like I need to maintain a line of contact with you all throughout the day. Like, maybe a quick little phone call, like, on my lunch break or whatever, but I'll see you when I get home or we'll talk when I get home. But like, don't make me feel like I have to talk to you all day long. Like, there's honestly, we don't need to do that, like grow up. Interesting. I mean, I would be a big fan of that also. I'm a big fan of that.

I mean, I don't know if it's a green flag in a relationship, but I just think it's like good advice. I think it's like it's a green flag in that it shows confidence. You know, he also has his own thing going on. And therefore, you're both doing stuff and you're not depending on each other for each other's happiness. And then you come together at the end. I think that's the green flag.

But yeah, I hate the, so what are you up to every 10 minutes? And it's like, just get a job. What are we doing? Yeah, well, also, I'm a phone call guy. Again, Hannah and I discussed this, but like, you know, it's just like, I feel like Hannah and I are away from each other a lot, right? Don't need to text all day. I feel like it's like phone call when you get up,

which is obviously in the case of Hannah four hours after I get up. And then, like, phone call like after the shows. And then maybe a couple of quick check-ins because there's like life happens. Like, you know, it's got a bill or, you know, that's enough. Yeah. If you think of, if something happens and you think of the person, send the text. Yeah, that's fun. That's silly.

That keeps it light. But don't be like, so what are you doing? And I had this for lunch. It's like, what do we do? Yeah. It's giving, it's giving controlling. Yes, it is giving controlling. Chris, let's take it out.

Yes, you're so wise. I like to give the perception, I like to give the public appearance that I'm wise. Yeah, sure. Go ahead, Chris. Okay, I'm doing this in the bathroom right now because my wife is asking me to do this, and I told her if she was nice to me, I'd do it. But she's being very nice to me, so I don't want that to stop. And I'm recording this without her knowing.

Looks like I only have 60 seconds. Anyway, the green flag that I have is a girl that can, can maintain a group of friends. Girls are generally good at maintaining one really close friend, but a girl that's able to maintain a group of friends without a lot of drama and juggling, you know, all the different personalities and everything that comes with a group of girls, that's green flag for me.

So I'm going to assume that his wife has a good group. It's actually a very good green flag. I have to tell you that every time we get a man, 90% of the time they start with my wife or my girlfriend is forcing me to send this message. And his like literally sounded like a hostage situation. It's like my wife says she will not release the money in the account until I leave this message. She's being nice to me. Oh, God. He didn't want it to stop.

That's why he was hiding. That's what he says. Smart man, smart man. Smart man. So I like this one because honestly it was a risk, right? Because it's like on one level you go, is this guy sort of throwing out stereotypes about women? But on another level, you go, well, actually, if we're getting into green, you know, everyone's coming with the green flags about men, which often can be perceived as both positive and negative in terms of it could be like a criticism. I thought this was an interesting one.

What did you think, Caitlin? I liked it. It's maintaining a group of. girlfriends is I see what he is saying like oh it's difficult not difficult but it's like tricky there's different personalities there's this and that but it's also just like

maintaining friendships you want to you kind of want a girl's girl you know they're a group of friends very loyal knows how to have a good time sticks up for people you know they're all like qualities of like someone that you want to be a part of their family you know so I get it I get it

I get it. It's interesting because even like the reality TV world, just in general, because I, you know, I sort of like suddenly was like adjacent to like a lot of like female focus podcasts and things because I married Hannah. There is a lot of discussion about female friendships, you know, like a lot more than say in the manosphere, you know, the manosphere doesn't discuss male friendship as much as women discuss female friendships. And I don't think it's controversial to say.

that female friendships are just a touch more complicated. Bigger risk, bigger reward, baby. No, but I mean, like, I'm kind of curious what you think about it because, you know, it definitely just seems to be more discussion about it, that's all. Yeah, I mean, well, women also are more willing to talk about their feelings than men typically are. And so women are easily able to say, this woman is important to me. I love her. And this friendship is complicated and nuanced.

I think men aren't willing to say that, even though those relationships may exist. But women are more willing to talk about it openly. You know, if there's a problem, they were born to talk it out. You know, men are kind of born to bury it, you know. So how did you feel when he said drama? He said drama. That's kind of a judgment. Oh, I mean, there's always drama.

I mean, there's drama no matter what in every relationship. Men with men, women with women, you know, there's always going to be some sort of drama. It's just how you deal with it. And if you're able to maintain a large group of friends, there's inevitably going to be drama. But if you can handle it and still have those friends, then that means you know how to handle drama. Or you don't let the drama affect friendships, you know? So I say, I mean, I'm a big fan of the... the decent-sized group of friends, you know, I've got a good, I've got like a good, well, I've actually got a couple of core groups, you know, because I've lived in so many different places.

But it does really add to your life when you just can be like super comfortable with it with a gang of friends. So I feel sorry for people that don't have that. Yes. Yeah, it's, but also it's like some people just can't maintain, they can do one-on-one, you know, but big groups kind of, freak them out. You know, I get that. Some people suck, man. Got some needy friends, man. You know, over the years. But I do think, you know, I think you're being very diplomatic. I mean, it's hard to say, but like I just, I, I feel like I've witnessed more drama in the friend groups on the female side. I really do think that. It's very rare that I throw anything back on, on the women's side.

But I do feel like they're more complicated. Yeah, of course. Because men are fucking, men are kind of They're like a simpler being, not in a positive way. Yeah, but also women have more trauma. But I mean, yeah, I mean, the drama thing, that truly didn't offend me. Yeah, oh, no, that's good. I was just curious. Yeah, it didn't offend me. I was like, yeah, that makes sense.

God, there was another point I wanted to make. I can't remember what it was. Sorry, I distracted you. If you have other friends, that means you're not completely dependent on this one. one on your partner. And that is the big green flag. I think that's the big flag. Yes.

You're able to go off, have your nights, have other people to talk to about certain things. Your partner shouldn't be everything to you. Yes. So I think that's what the big green flag is. Yes. And I would like to add that there's nothing better than when you get on great with your partners gang.

Because then it's so much fun, you know? Yes. And they're happy to see you. and they're going to defend you when you mess up. You can be just part of the fun, part of the crack, as we say, in Ireland. Yes, good crack. I've been lucky with that on the hand aside. But, you know, listen, you're going to, like the green flag for me,

we didn't even get into our own green flags, by the way, but the green flag for me is like somebody that can make you laugh, you know? Yes. And so if you're going to be attracted to somebody who's, like, naturally fun, is a pretty good chance that they're going to be sort of similar-minded to you, the type of people they have around, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You need a silly goose. Oh, amen. God damn, I need a silly goose. I need a silly goose. And Hannah is... She's only a goose. She's silly, silly, silly.

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Chris, hit us again. Yeah, you. All right, my man's green flag is that he knows my cycle well enough that if I'm having a hard time. He will just be like, it's okay. It's just nighttime and your ludial phase. So you're just trying your best. And then he'll just be really sweet to me. So I really appreciate that. Also, I'm never worried about him cheating because it's a miracle that we are together. Like, I'm the one that made it happen. So green flag is men who are quiet, men who are scared of women because I never worry that he's going to go start talking to a woman.

He just, he would never do that. He's terrified of doing that. So it works for me. Wow. This was a tofer. It's a two for. It's a two for. It's a two for.

I didn't read past the, knowing your like menstrual cycle because I thought it was such an interesting one. I didn't realize this. if he has like direct access to the chart because he shouldn't just be guessing this by any way. Knowing the word ludial phases, knowing the word ludial phase is like,

yeah, it sounds like a couple that's been trying for months to have a baby. Yeah. But. Yeah, I don't know. It freaks me out when a man knows your cycle and then is making excuses for you. I don't like that.

Right. I wouldn't say it's a green flag. But I think, I mean, she clearly enjoys it and appreciates it. But for me, that would be a creep flag. That would be a, whoa. Well, when you're together a while. I mean, you do.

You do kind of know. Well, listen, because you can't bring up, like, if they're heading towards the premenstrual, you know, PMS, PMT phase, and you're kind of aware, like, oh, you know, you've been with somebody long enough, you're aware, like, oh, she's irritable, most likely for that reason. But you can't be. like, hey, I'm aware of your cycle.

And I know why you're being a bit of a bitch, but it's not your fault. Yeah. It's not going to land. See, that's what I'm reading. That's exactly what I'm reading. I'm like, that's no good. That's no good. Don't do that. It's not going to land well. You know? Yeah. No. I mean, yes, in five days' time,

they'll be like, I think you were right. But not at the fucking time. No. And I think that's something that you can only do after you've been with someone for a long time. If men in the first, year try and figure that out, I think that's a red flag because then it's trying to take the blame of whatever stupid thing they're doing and placing it on your period. But if you've been together with someone for five plus years, then it's okay if you know their follicular phase or whatever

the hell it is. Yeah, you don't even know the guy. I don't know if I don't know. I don't know. My period is a surprise every single month. I would never, obviously, anything around like the pre-menstrues stuff. I think the furthest I've ever gone in terms of like, you know, acknowledging it is if Hannah, like, says something like, oh, I'm so pre-menstru right now. And I might say something like, I'm aware. That's as far as, that's as far as I will go. Yeah, you don't take out your. phone and go, oh, let me mark this in my calendar.

That's crazy. Yeah, I think it's a creep flag. I disagree. But the shy part. Okay, a total. Shy part I also don't like. I hate everything about this. Ooh, she's throwing shade at a dialer. No, I would never. I would never. I'm happy. She's happy. I'm very happy. She's happy.

She's basically like, listen, find yourself a mute. Yeah. Find yourself somebody who's so afraid to talk to anybody that you've got them forever but no I mean this guy as you know we're just kidding yeah no I mean he sounds like he loves her very much

and he cares about her but I don't I can't do the shy anymore I was with a shy man and it was oh you're with a shy guy yeah it was brutal because I'm so outgoing that it was yeah you can't have that every time I wanted to do anything social I felt like I was

dragging him and forcing him to do it so I want and also like Yeah, if you're with somebody who's like overly shy, sometimes they're not even judging you, but it's hard for you not to feel judged. Like, oh my God, I'm such a fucking gregarious asshole. Yeah. And also, you shouldn't, even if the person's outgoing, you shouldn't worry about them cheating on you, you know, or talking to another girl. That's also a relationship red flag, I would say.

Oh, wow. Speaking of relationship red flags. I guess I am throwing shade. I don't mean to. No, but speaking of relationship red flag. flags, Caitlin. We actually have an update. You won't be aware of the context, but I do want to play it for the dialers. And since it's come up now in this context, Chris, can you play the update one, please? Yeah. It was from the Cabo. Hi, guys. This is sort of an update, but my biggest red flag is if you ever feel like a woman that you need to call into your favorite podcast to ask about anything. I was the one who called in because I was like nervous. My boyfriend made. a lot of money and he didn't want me to have to work an extremely stressful job if he was going to take care of me financially, but I still wanted some form of achievement in my life.

Needless to say, we are broken up now and I realize that for some people, that can work, but it has got to be the woman's choice because if it's a man, he's going to hold it over you, he's going to control you, and that is just the worst situation to be in. So that's my red flag. Don't let your man tell you that he doesn't want you to work. There is it, 1952? Jesus Christ. This was a big...

Good for her. Good for her. This was a big one there. Hannah and I were in Cabo when we recorded that episode. Because I remember sitting on the, listening to the waves and just like, Hannah and I discussed this, but it was a lot of people in the Spotify comments were saying like, no, it's fucked up. She needs to get away from that guy.

So I felt like that would have been a memorable. one and we appreciate the updates we very rarely get them so this was a this was a big moment of course hannah and i discussed it in great detail and probably you know like made it seem because you don't want to just be like break up with the guy you don't want to fuck with people's lives even though that's hand is advice for any relationship you know most people call them like i need relationship advice hana's advice is nine times out of ten break up with him but uh it's good to know on that one and I are a big bend diagram on that one. They're like, oh, he doesn't bring you joy all the time.

Break up with them. Yeah. And of course, you know, now we've had the update, but we still didn't know what kind of money we were talking about with this guy. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. Well, no.

He's a goner. Thank goodness. All right. Let's thank you, Chris, for that update. Let's crack on here. Hi, guys. I just woke up. So, good morning.

But a little, I don't know if this is niche, but a green flag with my boyfriend has been. And he's for a couple years said now, like, anything I can't eat when I'm pregnant or like have, he's not going to have. So he's not going to drink. He's not going to have sushi. He's also going to bake sushi, so whatever. And he is a little hesitant to give up his cold cuts.

And I'm like, fine. You can have cold cuts. Just don't be bringing Jersey mics home or we're going to have a problem because, God, I love Jersey mics. Yeah, that's pretty much it. There's a lot of green flags with him. I'm not saying it's pretty much it on the green. flags but that's a good one and he's also said that like before we conceive you um he's gonna like be the healthiest version of himself so that i have like the best and easiest pregnancy so i mean

i'm scared of being pregnant i'm terrified to giving birth but that's like a plus so yeah bye i'll tell you one thing about this guy this motherfucker wants to have a kid yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i couldn't get from this are they actually trying yeah this guy's like hey if you get pregnant like it's going to be an amazing experience i'm going to do everything for you except i i'm not giving up bologna i'm not giving up a fucking boar's head but i bet if she said you have to give up boar's head he'd be like all right all right i guess so no more no more subway no more jersey mics i'm a big jersey mics fan but a lot of calories i like a jersey mics did you ever look up you ever check the calories on a Jersey mics? Oh, I can't even

imagine. The bread alone is insane. It's very higher than I expected. But anyway, I digress. So, this is a cute one. This obviously came from Hannah's prompt. There's a green flag in a relationship, but cute. Yeah, I think it's cute. I think it's,

I think the green flag is that he's conscious of what she's sacrificing for her family. And I think that is the green flag. Is that he's aware, he's not just like, cool, I get a DD for nine months. You know, like that's a huge green flag, I would say. What would you expect of your partner and your pregnancy? Expect?

Oh, God. Hypothetically. Hypothetically, I would expect him to be patient and kind and to let me not work the last month. Pick up the slack the last month. I don't want to be moving around when I feel like a whale. especially because if I get pregnant, I'm going to be old as hell. So it's like... Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Well, I have no prospects. I have no... In my mind, in my mind, you're 25. Thank you so much. Let them know. Let them know. I'm not going to ask you your age, but from the way you just spoke there, I realize you were clearly a lot older than I thought you were, which is...

Yeah, yeah, I'm in my 30s. I'm in my 30s. And I have no... I'm not even close to a relationship, so it's going to take a while for me to get pregnant. But yeah, no, I wouldn't expect him to give up everything I gave up. I would expect him to get his shit together, you know. Yes.

And if he's a big drinker, I would expect him to cut that back to prepare for the family. Yeah, I'd be more into, if I was a woman and I was getting pregnant, I'd be more into my partner just like making tons of cash. I'd be like, listen, you got nine months to fucking up this bank bounce motherfucker because this is an expensive, this is an expensive proposition we got cooking. Yeah. I mean, honestly, yeah, that's true. But I also expect to make my own money. You know what's crazy, though?

There's so much, there's so much, like, information out there. Like, pregnancy is just, it's safer because we know so much, but it's so much more fraud in terms of, like, there's so much stuff. you can eat that is a fucking problem. It's really frightening. They keep adding it to the list. The list keeps longer and longer. Yeah, like there's going to be nothing left to eat. You know, they have like a total separate.

They were eating crazy shit in the 30s, 40s and 50s, and they popped out fine. I know. Honestly, I really, I'm of the opinion sometimes that we have too much information, too much safety information to the point where it's like how much of the anxiety we're creating is worth the safety. What's the ratio of like how much we can handle versus the stress that it's causing? When is the stress of worry

going to actually be worse for you than, you know, accidentally ingesting something once? Because the problem is that if you eat something and somebody's like, oh, you're not supposed to eat that, then you fucking Google it. Then you're like, oh, shit, you know, I've just done something horrible. But, you know, obviously it's probably not going to be that bad.

No. But at the same time, I'm not telling people to eat shit that's bad for you. I'm just saying it's like it is really hard. We have so much information. And I'm not saying it was good. My mother smoked. My mother smoked throughout my entire fucking brain.

Yeah. And you're great. I mean, I'm all right. You're the example that people should smoke. But you think like people in Japan aren't having sushi when they're pregnant? You know what I mean? Well, interesting. That's, that'd be interesting to know.

What is the sushi thing? What is it? It's mercury poisoning in the fish. Is that what it is? Is that why? Yeah. Is that actually why? Yeah, I saw it once on the L word.

The L word, that was the lesbian series? Yes. Oh, right. That's the only reason I know about it. Oh, yeah. Oh, it was bossy. It was heated rivalry before heated rivalry. What else is not pregnancy food?

Like, you're not supposed to eat? I never, I never heard of the lunch meats. never heard of that. Yeah, I didn't know that either. Well, I guess after the Listeria outbreak on fucking Boar's Head, I guess maybe that's why. Chris, can you Google, you know, cold cuts and pregnancy and why that is? Just out of curiosity. I mean, how do you, like when you're on the road, like, how the fuck are you going to survive? Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm just living off of Chipotle bowls. I know. Yeah, it's mainly just the Listeria outbreak.

Oh, it's because of the listeria. Okay. Yeah. Well, if Hannah ever gets pregnant, God, we're really going to have to, we're really going to have to rain it in. We eat a lot of sushi. We eat a lot of sandwiches. Yeah.

I mean, beautiful. Those are two beautiful food groups. But I miss them right now. So you think you're going to gig until your eight months? Yeah. Why not? Allie won't shot a special. Yeah, but the flying, I feel like, gets a pain the ass more and more.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. But I have also done zero research about this subject. So I have no idea. You haven't even got into that mindset. No, no, no, no. Yeah. My idea would be a surrogate. I would love a surrogate and then just have a baby.

That would be great. I know. Somebody joked about that with us once. And like, you're like, yeah, except I just, I morally, I just couldn't. Even if we had like Jeff Bezos type money, I personally would be morally uncomfortable. However, if my wife was like, we have to do this,

I'm not going to be like, oh, we can't do this, because at the end of the day, I'm not the one that has to carry it, but I struggle. And by the way, I'm not judging anyone that's done it, but just in my mind, there's just a certain amount of things that I can ask. I feel guilty paying somebody to clean my house. I just can't imagine paying somebody to carry a child.

But I'm open to people having their own opinions on that, but I do struggle with that one. Yeah, I get it. It's also like as a control freak, I would imagine having someone, someone else do that very important job. I would struggle with that as well. Yeah, because they're not as motivated to not have sushi.

Yeah. But a lot of women, like, they can't physically have children and they want biological children. That, and I can understand that scenario, 100%. So now that the holidays are over, you might be feeling like you've got a big spending hangover. The drinks, the holidays, the food, the gifts, it all adds up. Luckily, Mint Mobile is here to help you cut back on overspending on wireless this January with 50% off unlimited premium wireless. Mint Mobile's end of year's sale is still going. Okay, but only until the end of the month.

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All right, Chris, let's crack on. Do a couple more before we let Caitlin go to Las Vegas. Vegas, baby. My husband is such a green flag for so many reasons. he plays video games but only basically when I'm not home or I'm like binge watching one of my shows. Anyway, I got home from work one day and he was playing a video game but like as the female character. And if that's not like low key feminism, I don't know what is. So on top of that, when there's a problem at work, all the girls feel comfortable telling him he's in management.

So they'll go to him And then he's the only one that goes to the CEO to fix it And it's just, I don't know If you're with a guy that doesn't protect women, What are you doing? Anyway, love you guys. I would say the second part is more of a green flag Than the first part.

We got another twofer. Well, yeah. So I find this really interesting Because I think she's saying that he plays Like he picks the female character, I guess is fine. But I couldn't help but think. So I play this golf game on my phone.

I'm not a big gamer, but I'm stupidly addicted to this game, WGT golf, which I play on my phone, you know, when I got spare time. But you're playing against other people, like, real, you know, real people. And, like, you can pick your, you can pick your, like, avatar and everything. And, like, sometimes I'm playing against a woman character, but it's a real human. But I really am of the opinion that 50% of the time,

it's some weird dude playing as a woman because I have the comments turned off but I feel like it would be very easy for a guy to get off on playing as a woman and experiencing all guys like weird comments and shit yeah I mean playing as a woman is like uh you don't know why he's picking a woman you like but playing he's like if you're like her tits you know and when I play this video game in Fortnite, the tits jiggle, and then I get to see them jiggle all the time. You don't know why he's picking a woman. Yeah, I wonder which, I wonder which game, you know? Yeah.

Because, like, I've never played Fortnite, but, like, Mateo is, like, obsessed with Fortnite and, like, World of Warcraft and shit. Yeah. I mean, he has a joke where it's, like, if he's playing as Ariana Grande, and he sees another Ariana Grande, he was like, oh, that's just a homosexual trying to find his way home. or something like that. Yeah, so that's the thing.

So if it's a game where like, I guess like back in the day, Mortal Kombat, right? You picked who you were, didn't you? Chris? I can't even remember my game. Yeah, you picked. If you picked a female character out of like the eight choices,

that's cool. That's a little feminist, you know? Uh-huh. But if you play yourself as a woman, that's a red flag, I think. You think. Okay. Yeah, I

But not if you play as the female Like the female driver in a driving game But if you have your opponent Thinking that you're a woman When you're not, that's a red flag I see, I see Okay Okay, I think I don't know much about video games

Yeah My ex played a lot of video games And he would also play when I wasn't home Or when I was doing something else And it was still so unattractive to me So. Oh, yeah, you're gaming. Yeah, I don't like the gaming.

Yeah. But that's just me. And I get men have to blow off steam doing whatever they do. Do what they do, yeah. Do whatever you need to make yourself calm. I get it. So, Chris, let's go for one more before we wrap it up here. Do we want to go with a nice one or a problematic one?

Oh, okay. How many do we have left? The problematic. Oh, the problematic one. Let's do that now. Fuck it. Let's go. All right.

Green flag is when they dress their age. Oh, that's the whole thing. Don't go dressing like the girls in euphoria when you're 32. You know, I just look 32. I just quit. What this guy. I hope he walks into the ocean and never comes back. When this played, I was like, I'm going to share this because.

Like, I'm always trying to get men to fucking message in, you know, and we never fucking get them. And then, like, I got two. I get two fucking guys that I saw. I mean, there could have been others, but I got two fucking guys. And, you know, this is one of them. And it's like, it's supposed to be a green flag. And all he does is prove that he's a red flag. He's a red flag.

I know. And it was so, it was so annoying for me because I was like, come on, man. You know? Oh, my. God. What does even dress 32 even mean? What does that mean? Yeah, I don't know. You dressed like the girls from Euphoria.

First of all, what are you fucking watching? You're fucking, you fucking. Get out of here. God, he sucks. If you're a dialer, no, but if you, by the way, I appreciate that you message in, sir. Okay. And I don't. I appreciate your honesty because, well, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, you want people to feel free to message in.

But. I guess that's true. But these guys shouldn't feel free. So, now what I will say, right, because we very much are stopping. It was problematic from the get-go. I thought it was worth playing for entertainment purposes. But the only time I have a problem with Hannah dressing like a teenager, which she can't do sometimes, is like she likes wearing, like, sweats and stuff on a plane, which I don't mind at all.

The problem is like she really, she really like looks like a child. You know, she, the way she wears sweats is like pajama vibes, right? And then, you know, we'll be like checking in at like clear or something. And they'll be like, what about your daughter? And I'm like, she's not my fucking daughter. She's 34. She's just dressing like a fucking child and we don't know why. But yes.

Yeah, but that's fun. No, I know. I'm kidding. That's a joke. I'm saying that as a joke. I know. We've joked about that before together. But, yeah, I don't even know what is, I always, I can't stand people that, like, have all this, like, what's appropriate and what isn't. I do think that there are certain levels of things that are appropriate and not, but I don't like people who have a very rigid criteria for, you know, what you're supposed to do at a certain age, you know? And like, what is dressing 32? What does that even mean? What does that mean?

Just wearing fucking business casual? What does that even mean? I've never been a fan. I've never been a fan of judging, like, the way women dress. Like, if some woman wants to fucking sexy it up at whatever age, you fucking sexy it up, you know? Yeah. If you want to dress like an old woman at 25, you know, you want to be an old maid at 25, you be it. Yeah.

You dress however you want. Life's hard enough without this fucking dingback being like, why are you wearing a little cut top? You're 32. Don't you know you're past your expiration day? Yeah, like, what the fuck is that? That's literally what he's saying. He's literally saying I'd only want to see the tits of

someone under 25. How the hell are we going to get men to message into burn a phone? I mean, listen, I don't mind. I've always been, I've always been comfortable with the fact that it's mostly women that message in. But, you know, variety is to spice a life. It would be, you know what it is too? Sometimes I feel like men have more of a propensity to like want to be shocking when they message

in, you know? It's like they don't understand the spirit of the thing. The other guy did. You know, that was a very valuable contribution. Yes. But this is what I don't even think he thought he was being shocking. I think he actually believes that. He was like, I know. That's the problem. That's how it is. And it's like, oh, no, no, no one's going to fuck you now. Dress like you're You know what's crazy? He's like, don't dress like you're on euphoria.

I guarantee you this guy loves Sidney. Oh, loves her. Loves her. Loves her. She's not problematic. She's just a gal. Jesus.

All right. Let's finish on a positive note. Chris, let's finish on a positive note. All right. Hi, Hannah. Hi, hi, Des. Or maybe hi, hi, Des.

Hi, Chris. Okay, green flag for men. Honestly, like, appreciating and enjoying female comedians, female podcasts, female musicians, and also just like flipping those gender roles. My husband is much better at cleaning than I am. Anytime I sweep or vacuum, he's like, I don't know if you did anything in here today. And so he's just a lot better than me and I am like more than happy with that he's cleaner than I am like I am messier I am like I call myself plopper I put things all over the house he's organized like these are all just really great

green flags that I appreciate and flipping those gender roles and appreciating musicians and the arts I'm sorry female musicians and females in arts all right thanks yes I would say that's a green flag yeah so I left this in obviously because you're a female comedian. So is the weird, the female, the female. She's a female comedian. But anyway, I left it in because obviously you're a comic, but also because, you know, I'm now married to a female comedian and you really do begin to see the dark side of what women comics have to deal with. And it really has given me quite the perspective on that world. Yeah. Yeah. It always was a red flag. to me whenever I was with a guy who said he didn't like women bands with women singers.

Really? Yeah, there was a more than one guy was like, well, I just don't even relate to that. I mean, I, and it was like, what, are you cosplaying as the lead singer? You can't enjoy this song because it's got a lady voice on it. Like, that's like, when I look at someone's band list and it's all just male, male, male, male, I'm like, what's going on here? Interesting. You know, listen, I've encountered many men that have been like, I don't think women are funny.

Oh, of course. Well, that's just, look at my comments. Men not. But men not liking women's singers. That's insane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that was always like, oh, what? Like, it was so insane that I couldn't comprehend it. It was like, you lack that much empathy that you can't even. You don't like Adele. You don't like that Benatar, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, right? You don't like. Like Lita Ford?

Yeah. It's crazy. Well, that might, I don't know who that is. Well, she's fucking younger than Pat Benatar, but you knew about her for some reason. But I was, I was showing my age with Lita Ford. Yeah, yeah. You can Google her after the show. Okay.

She was, in my early puberty, she was like a hot one that I was like, wow, she's fucking amazing. But anyway. Yeah. Yeah. So like, I have to say, it's so fascinating. the immediate dismissal of women as comics. And I just, I see it so much now.

And I also see just like the double standard of like, from comics even. Like, let's even just bring it since we're in the comedy realm now, like even in our own industry. Not as much from the industry itself has definitely been a lot more open-minded to female comics in recent years. But amongst the, you know, the cabal of our comic friends, there is a lot. a very strange dismissal of female comics in a way that I am fascinated by. Now that I can, I see it more because I'm with Hannah and I'm just like experiencing it. Well, it's even on the industry level. If you look at that, there was like a list of like the top hundred comics in the 21st century or something.

And there was only one woman in the top 10 and it was Maria Bamford, which is like obviously. But it's like, oh, you're also dismissing Michelle Wolf, Sarah Silverman, Wanda Sykes. Joan Rivers. Yes, it's kind of crazy. And I was like, you're going to, I mean, I won't say who the male names were, but at the same time I was like, really? This person? Okay. Well, these lists, these lists in general are just like torture.

I don't really, I don't really pay any attention to those lists because they're just absolute nonsense, you know? But, yeah, I think, I just don't get it, you know, when, when guys. I had it recently in a fucking situation. And the guy was just, because the amount of people that say to me, you know, I saw how to special, I don't normally like women comics, but it was good. It's like, what are you talking about, bro? Yeah.

You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, you were funny for, you know, I've never seen a woman that funny before. Yeah. I'm like, okay. Yeah, go, again, another one that can walk into the ocean. It's like, you think you're giving me a compliment,

but really you're just making yourself look ignorant. It's like a lack of empathy. Like they cannot fathom a different point of view. You know, it's like if their favorite comedian is just someone who looks exactly like them, it's like, oh, no. Yes. I, the other thing that I've noticed, which I've definitely talked about, I think, with Hannah, but I've talked about it on other podcasts is like there's some things that Hannah jokes about that. I just don't quite get that, like, women are fucking, like,

dying laughing at. And when I see that, I go, wow, you know, for all these years, male-dominated stand-up comedy, like, there was all these women in the audience that were, like, forced to sort of identify with these, like, very male things, right? And then these days, particularly, where, you know, you can get these, like, predominantly female audiences, right? Which I think is amazing. Some of the male comics like to dismiss that.

You're like, oh, look, their fans are just women. money too yeah yeah but like they'll you know because there's been there's been instances where a couple of famous female comics are on a bill like like like like they're just like the word gets out like at one of the comedy clubs in the city i won't name any but the word'll get out and so that the audience ends up being like female fans of these and then the male comics complain it's like oh it's all you know and it's like well what do you think all the women comics have been fucking doing since the dawn of time performing to fucking dudes trying to figure out what makes dudes laugh figure out what makes these fucking women laugh you fucking asshole you know so anyway this is all

shit that I got I never cared about until I met Hannah all these like new concerns I mean I'm calling myself out on that but anyway when when I would when I would see and by the way when I say I don't get it I'm not saying it's not a good joke it's just like sometimes it's just things that I don't identify with like experiences and then I see all this women laughing and I'm like holy shit These women have not had, like, near enough people that have been able to joke about this shit, right? And it's fucking amazing. And then I listen to these fucking angry dudes dismissing it as if it's somehow less than their fucking jerking off material. You know what I mean?

Yeah, of course. It's a that's why I say this all the time. It's why it's a male loneliness epidemic. The women aren't lonely. The men are the lonely ones. Women are also alone, but they're not, you know? It's a... Yes.

Yeah, they're not a... They're not... They're not... Well, they're not shooting up schools and shit. Yeah. Yes. Just to get dark for a sec, you know? Yeah, just to get...

Hey, I brought up Ray Burleyer. We're both going on it. No, but the male loneliness epidemic is an epidemic because it just like fucking other infectious diseases, it has the potential to cause a lot of harm. you know? Yes. Yeah, I mean. That's why it's a fucking epidemic.

Not that, by the way, not that I think we should ignore it. I don't think we should ignore it, but I also don't think it's that you can dismiss the negative. Men don't get a pass because it's like, oh, well, you know, there's a loneliness epidemic. That's why this shit is happening. I'm down with tackling the issues around it. But anyway, in relation to what... You can create your own loneliness. And if you're not willing to put in the work to...

Yes. I empathize with a female comedian, you know, like if you're not even willing to look at it. Yeah, well, it's ridiculous. Yeah, it's ridiculous. And I challenge anybody here as we come to an end of the episode. I challenge anyone here to go watch Caitlin Blufo killing at the cellar and then turn around and try to say that women aren't funny. I mean, if you, well, if you're the subject of my eye or then you might. Well, no, but like that's the whole thing is like, I'm not.

That's the other thing that like, no, no, no, but I was going to say something serious on that front, which is like, yeah, some women comic, oh, first of all, the other thing is like, oh, women, why do women comics always have to be dirty, which is fucking hilarious because women, women, female comics are just as dirty as any other comment, any other, like, percentage-wise, they're doing the same amount of dirty as everybody else. It's just that when a man does it, you're not thinking, oh, they only do dirty shit, but the minute a woman starts talking dirty, you're like, oh, here goes, another woman being fucking dirty. you know, there's all like just a spectrum of judgment that is really against women. It's not in women's favor in terms of people's judgment of material, right? But I can't remember what I was going to say now. I mean, I think this, this right now is a great way to end because you are being a walking green flag, Des. What can I do? I got no choice.

You're a walking green flag. Just you're sticking up for the gals. Well, it worked out for me. That's why. Yeah. fucking equality has been a humongous bonus to my life I'm saying like how am I going to complain about feminism it's a fucking accentuated my life in ways that can't be imagined

I love that listen to Des you lonely boys yeah you fucking idiots oh listen you have no idea I love when these guys fucking you know they they try to dismiss like liberal people is fucking cucks and it's like dude you're on your own fucking lonely and fucking angry oh sorry this is what I was going to say

the only thing that fucking pisses me off is that a lot of the quote unquote male loneliness epidemic is you know these these men are preyed on by fucking manipulators and like grifters and then by the way pander to by a lot of comics in our industry

as well you know and it's it's it's fucked up man but that's the internet I'm not going to get dark, the dialers were complaining that I'm getting too dark, you know, because I think the world's going to end. But I'm not going to go there. I'm not going to go there today. You already went there, but that's okay.

So anyway, Caitlin, thank you so much for being our third guest. Thank you. So what an honor. Truly, this was so fun. You know what I have in my mind to do? Because, you know, every now and then Hannah and I do like a dirty app or like, you know, an app that's like about sex. So soon, you know, in the near future, uh, I'll get.

get you back on and we'll do like a straight up like dirty app you know because that you know it's funny people people always you know they they complain about dirty shit but if you i because i can see the numbers always the most listen to apps of our episodes are the dirty ones yes the great secret is that people love sex man sex sell so we'll have kately back for some for some fifth check her out on instagram uh try to see her live Where are you going in Vegas? Are you doing the cellar? Are you doing something else?

I'm doing the seller in Vegas, yeah, this week. So she's going to be in Vegas for a full week, guys. Yes. Yes, come see me, starting Monday. I'll be there all week. At the Rio. I'm going to be in L.A. soon, which I got some tickets to sell there, everybody. And San Diego.

Oh, and San Jose, West Coast trip in a week and a half. In the meantime, I'm going to the University of Miami Sports Medicine Clinic to deal with some knee issues. so I'm sorry to the Rochester people that I had to postpone that show and check my dates for loads more shows, West Nyack, New York. And Chris, do you want to take a bye?

Check out Fringe podcast, please. Thank you. So thanks, everybody. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. So in my family, we have a superstition that leads to, like, a green flag.

So if a guy eats a hot dog with mustard, on it, he's a green flag. And if he eats a hot dog with ketchup on it, he's a red flag. Don't ask me why. I really don't know. But the green flag, the mustard, signifies, I guess, that he is like going to be able to provide for you, but not be fun. But the mustard-eating guy, or the ketchup eating guy, he's going to be fun. He's going to be fun. but not be able to provide for you. I don't know where this comes from. I don't know why we have it,

but if a guy eats mustard on a hot dog, green flag. Hey, Des, I think a unique green flag is if your partner's ex has only positive things to say about them, because that means that, you know, they aren't a terrible person. Or also if they're friends with them, but I know that it's more controversial, and that has a lot of caveats.

I am newly married as of last weekend, and it has been super chaotic for the past month or so or year, so excited for us to be married and get moving on with our lives. But one green flag that I would say for my now husband or just all men in general is when you're a single girlie and you have your own pet, cat, or dog, and that man comes in and just like loves your animal like it's his own and treats it and loves it and kisses it. I think that that is the biggest green flag and probably why me and my husband are now married.

He came in. We had a love of English bulldogs. He loved my English bulldog. He had his family had one. And then together we adopted a French bulldog and we are just a happy loving dog family. So yeah, thank you guys. Bye. My boyfriend packs my lunch for work every day.

Okay, so I guess this isn't really necessarily in a man's control, but I feel like a huge green flag is if a man has a total boss-ass bitch of a mother. Like, if his mom is like go-getter fucking independent, strong woman, that is what the man is looking for. And he's not going to be intimidated by your success, but rather he wants that in his life. He wants an equal partner. He wants someone who will lift each other up

rather than someone who is going to sit on the sidelines. So I feel like if that is the type of mother a man has, that's a huge green flag. It's hard to think of a single positive thing. about anyone male or female right now, but one green flag is definitely that if a female family member of his and you're already together or not, if a female family member of his is mean to you or throws shade or does something that you don't like and then you talk about it later and you're like, hey, I really didn't like how that made me feel and he's not like, but, and he just listens,

that's a green flag. If he does anything besides that, you know, fuck him specifically and you should break up for sure. Definitely don't marry him. Hi Hannah. Hi, Des. My like weird green flag or like unusual green flag or whatever the prompt is is when they put away the grocery cart after going grocery shopping. I think that is like the most attractive thing ever. It is so considerate. Like my biggest pet peeve is when people like leave their grocery carts. I live in a town where people don't like always do like online shopping. So we have to go to the store, unfortunately. And then my other one is when they like can make fun of you,

but like in a like joking like kind way. And then like they also know when to stop and they don't go too far with it. Because sometimes they've been in a relationship where they like went too far. And I'm like what the fuck is wrong with you? Anyways, also Hannah, I really want you to come to Alaska. because I love you so much. And yeah, I love you guys. Marketing is hard.

But I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now, and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion.

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