Berner Phone - Berner Phone #19: The Best Life Hacks

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

This week we are discovering new life hacks. They range from masturbating, public bathrooms, matching your socks, to being cringe and feeling free.  Berner Phone under Podcast when you sign up for Earnin on Google Play or App Store.

Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the Burner Phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Welcome back to another episode of Burner Phone. We are still here. We are in New York City. And not to make it about myself and my whole personality this episode. but I'm a little under the weather.

This is the Hannah-Berner Stuff-Nose episode. Hannah's got her operator voice on. It's a new kind of ASMR. Yeah. You're very ASMR right now. Thank you. I think even closer to the mic than normally, you're really going for the ASMR.

Look, I'm leaning in. And I did have a moment in our relationship today. Oh. When I... I don't like when you save our relationship conversations for broadcast. I think it's time. We want to be more, you know, open and expressing ourselves on burner phone. I woke up, I was feeling sick, and I blew my nose into a tissue.

And it was a certain color. Well, in your opinion, it was very green. I said green, but I meant like it wasn't clear. I think because my mom's always like, it's green or it's not green. And I said, you know what? I'm at that point in my relationship where I'm going to say, can you look at this? Yeah. So, I mean, I think that that's fine, you know. You got to, you got a, you got a You weren't grossed out. No, I definitely wasn't grossed out. I mean, you, I wanted you to cough up

the phlegm. I feel like I can get a better gauge on, and you told me that you're, you don't know how to hawk a lugee. I don't. I don't know how to hawk a lugee. And actually, it's like the only thing that really grosses me out when people do it. I'm always like, ah, do like, oh, like, don't do it in front of me. And I'm pretty, I don't care about. farts, I don't care about any of that. Halking Lugies is disgusting. It's like a demons coming out of you. Yeah, it's interesting because that is the life hack of if it's a bacterial infection or a viral infection is if it genuinely is green. But we got into a fight because I'm saying that... We did not get into a fight. I'm getting in a fight right now. I think that

the mucus that would come out in a lugi is the same that would come out in your nose. It's the same systems. I'm a woman in STEM. I know this. Okay. I mean, You quite possibly are right, but I've always found a get a better gauge on, by looking at the phleg, rather than just snot. But I think phlegm and snot are in the same. Well, that's a Google. That's a Google, Chris. Because, you know, the nose is connected to your tailbone. You're possibly 100% right, but I just, I guess I'm just a traditionalist and it's always check your phlegm.

Hawking Oluge takes a certain level of skill and you have to really commit, you have to really let it, let it, let it. freely go. Well, no, I find when you're, when you truly have, like, a chest infection, there's no effort in, in hocking a lugie. Chris has an answer. I was just, no, I don't. What, I don't even know what to Google? You don't even know what to Google?

Like, what do you Google? I would suggest. Oh, please, all the guesses on the Google. Every other than he Googles something and it comes, he gets things he doesn't want to see. I would suggest Google is snot and phlegm the same thing. Got it. Please, Chris. Right up.

Yeah. Chris is like, I don't get paid enough for this shit. No, we actually gave him a warning in advance that we might need his Googling abilities because, you know, it's a life hacks episode. And some of these hacks that came in, I was like, I kind of deliberately waited to find out if they're actually true or not. What's your answer, Chris? Snott is the substance produced in the nose and sinuses during an infection. Lung phlegm is the good mucous mixed with an inflammatory cells that gives it color. You tell me what that means.

So that means that there's a different. There is a difference. No, but what I mean is like, sorry, I hope a doctor can clarify, but my take is that I was always told if you want to find out if you have a viral or a bacterial infection, you check your phlegm. I never heard anyone say check your snot. It's saying like basically snot is like more of a sinus thing. Flem is more of like a no.

Okay, so I think we're both right. Yeah, but you definitely have a sinus infection. That's clear as day. Thank you. Why did I get excited? I win. I got something. I don't care what I get.

I just want to get it. I'm a pick me girl. Give me something. Can I just, I'm sorry to interrupt, but can I just say that this is a relationship hack? You should always have, like, a producer with you to resolve all your relationship issues. Honestly, yeah, I was so healthy. I think Chris is basically a therapist at this point. Yeah, because, like, if I had Googled it, then you would have Googled and then you were like, well, look, this came up on.

Oh, yeah, I would have been like, no, no, no, you Googled to click, which one Did you click? Which article did you click? That's so funny. I do have to say I have a hurt. I think it's the Italian side of my family is very into like when you're sick they have things to do. Like take a, when you're sick, you take a shot of whiskey. Which just sounds like alcoholism. When you're sick, you take a shot of whiskey. Yeah, like it's good for your throat. Oh right. That's my papa would say. When we were kids, it was if you have a toothache, you put whiskey on a cotton bud. Yes. So it's like that same kind of thing. But that's, that, that's, these have been debunked. They have been debunked. They have, they have 100%.

Oh, no, I'm sick again. I need more a shot of whiskey before I go to work. But then I was with my friend Haley having Italian food. And I was like, Haley, I think I'm getting sick. I think I'm getting sick. And we were dipping our bread into olive oil. And there were these chunks of raw garlic. And she goes, eat the garlic.

And I was like, whoa, whoa. First of all, my husband has like a real aversion to garlic breath. Who loves garlic breath? You know, I think as Italians, I'm not as conscious of it. Like I smell garlic and I go, oh, it smells like home. Okay. And then, so she was like, you should have this whole clove of garlic. I was like, my husband's going to divorce me.

And she was like, do you want to get sick? And I'm like, no. I go, maybe if I don't chew it. So I took these huge clothes of garlic and I just. swallowed them like pills. Yeah. And it didn't work. It didn't work.

You've never been worse. I'm smelly and sick. She was like, you're going to sweat out garlic. And I'm like, oh my God, my husband's going to be so mad at me. No, it's fine. But, you know, there's a lot of, what, old wives tales? Can you even say that about garlic? We don't even need to Google that because we don't even care.

We're going into the life hacks, Chris. Let's do it. Let's hit it. Let's get to the dialers. Toaster cassidias, you put cheese. and a tortilla and then you fold it up and then you pop it in the toaster and then it pops out and it's like a cassidia that you don't even have to use a pan or anything for and it's crispy and melty cheese.

See, this is the kind of life hack I want. Yeah, this is what I was hoping for. We got a lot of them. This enhances your life, okay? I don't want these like things that I'm never going to do anyway. This is like I'm hungry and I want a case. How do I do it fast and scrumptious? Now, can we just say, Chris, I need you to Google.

Is it safe to make a cassidia and a toaster? Because I think this is an amazing life hack, but I'm cautious. Disclaimer, I would be worried that this doesn't work in practice. Really? But if we find out now. Because the cheese might drip? Yes. And then like your toaster's full of cheese.

And then you get that every time you toast anything in the toaster, you get the burning cheese, the burning cheese smell. Welcome to be a toaster. Yeah. I do think toasters and toaster ovens can definitely be utilized more for a lot of food. Okay, he's like fully in a Reddit thread right now. So what's the word, Chris? I mean, at first it popped up with like a bunch of just like kind of ret-not recipes, but everybody's like, yeah, you got to try this new thing.

And then there's, you know, haters on like Quora and Reddit that are like, oh, you're going to put tinfoil inside the microwave. Oh, no, it's not a tinfoil. Yeah. So, you know, just use a little bit. bit of common sense. Yeah, okay, so try. Because my concern would be how do you, how do you keep it together?

Oh, you know what I mean? A staple. Oh, right, yeah. Obviously. But you actually, you could just stab it with something. Yeah. I mean, I, this is one that I can't wait to try. I guess not a toothpick

because that could go on fire. Yeah, so this is one that I definitely, now I guess she's saying a pita, so I guess she's not saying a t-a. Did she say a pita? Did she say a pita or a tortilla? I can't have to review the tape. She said tortilla. Oh, she said tortilla, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, so my only concern would be, how do you keep the tortilla closed? Or maybe she takes two and just puts them on top of each other. Yeah, but even still, how do you keep them together? Gravity. No, it's a toaster. She didn't say toaster oven. She said toaster.

Oh, I've been envisioning toaster oven the whole time. Oh, sorry. That would be good. Toaster oven. Just get a toaster oven. Yeah, okay. In a toaster oven for sure. Also, when you get older, then you eventually graduate to air fryer.

I technically am of that age, but I just haven't done it. But apparently you just throw in shit and it comes out really good. Yes, get an air fryer was actually a life hack that came through. I didn't put it in. But yes, we need to get an air fryer. And you could put so many things that are normally not healthy and you fry it with air. I mean, I don't understand the science behind it. Yeah, we don't need to.

We don't need to. That's above our pay grade. Yeah, this is not how to, you know, learning about technology. episode. This is a life hack episode. Okay, next life hack. Hi, Hannah and Des, love the podcast. My life hack is, well, I've used it mostly in relation to, like, my child, like, as a baby and toddler. But really, you could apply this to adults to, like, your own closet. But my life hack is basically to avoid having to match up socks. It's the bane of my existence. I hate it so much. So for my kid, I've only ever gotten her one kind of sock, one color, one brand, one, like, height,

and like everything. It's only, she has one kind of sock. So all of her socks match. I don't have to spend any time matching up tiny little socks. It's awesome. I mean, this is a game changer for me. For me, I mean, what, what, I mean, this, like, why, why didn't I think of this all my life? Yeah. I do have to say I would buy the same like Puma athletic socks and I have a ton of them, but they would be different colors. And my like brain would be like, oh, I can't wear the different colors. But sometimes I would. But this is so smart. I mean, obviously the kids grows up so you have to get like bigger socks.

Yeah, but I'm not thinking about her kid. I'm just thinking about myself. Yeah. Like I literally, my mother's big obsession was that like every time she came to Ireland, she would have to try to organize my socks. Yeah. And then my- We've whole garbage bag of single socks. Yeah, but then my mom died and then I got married and my mother-in-law was like, oh my God, what are you going to do with your socks? I was like, holy shit, it's been reincarnated. The next generation of mom is concerned about my socks. So for the sake of all moms, dead and alive, I am implementing this hack immediately. But what's so funny is I feel like no one remembers actually ever like getting socks.

Like you just have all these socks. Like you don't even know how you got to that point. Well, I always go, how are they unmatched? again, I just replaced. Like, I've just bought another batch of socks and they're unmatched again. There's like a sock monster that goes into your socks.

Yeah, and this is literally... It's a little carmic, I think. Yeah, this is the way to destroy the sock monster. This is actually, this is like, this is how we eradicate the sock monster. I do think maybe you did something in a past life that pissed someone off, though, because I feel like, it's a kind

of thing that, you know, when you want your enemies, something to happen to them, but not too bad. You're like, oh, I want my enemies to always have like a scratchy tag on their back, but like, I want my enemies to always never be able to match their socks. Oh, so you think this is, this is a karmic response to, in a past life? And it could have been generational. Someone else in your family would have done something.

Yeah, maybe I like bullied a sock puppeteer or something to that effect. But no, yours is particularly hilarious because sometimes I'll be like, okay, we're going to put these socks together. Not a chance. Not a chance. Because they're in two countries. Yeah. Sometimes.

Oh, that's why. Yeah. Sometimes I get to Ireland. And I'm like, there it is. I actually, I'm going to bring your mom to Ireland just to give her the satisfaction of being like, oh, the blue and black one. There it is. I am at this point in my life when I am realizing, though, like everything we do is about buying stuff, especially when you follow more like fashion accounts and stuff. Everything's about, you got to get this.

You got to get this. And how life is so much more stressful, the more things you have. Like, part of me is just like, you only need so many socks. Oh, amen. Men. You need nine pairs of socks. One pair per day and an auxiliary pair just in case something goes wrong. Yeah. More stuff. George Carlin has a great routine about stuff. I am very guilty, though, of when I need to, I'll just Amazon some more granny panties.

Yeah. That's Amazon. You can never have too many granny panties. Amazon has made it worse for not really, you know, being on top of your stuff because you can just get more stuff. The way I buy granny panties is you'd think I should. shit myself every single day. But granny panties is your brand. You have to feed the brand. I know. I actually want to know. People know that I wear granny panties. I'm not a big fan of thongs. But no one, as my husband, what's your opinion on that thing that I do? Granny panties? Yeah. I've never, I have a problem with granny panties. You know, at the end of the day,

it's all about comfort. A feminist icon. You know? Listen, I'm, I'm, I'm in for half. This is how I know thongs are not comfortable, because if thongs were comfortable, men would wear them. If thongs were more comfortable than normal underwear, everyone would be wearing thongs. Yeah. I mean, if I had a great ass, I might try to have a thong, but it's not, you know. No, but like, why, I have a great ass and I'm not, you still hide it under your pants. Why do I need to have a thong under my pants? Some little secret. Amen. You know, I'm, you're not going to get any pushback on granny panties from me, you know? Yeah. So, go, go granny.

Thank you. How should I go granny? In fact, I don't know how you haven't had a deal from a granny panty company yet. It's crazy. You know? If you're ever in a bad mood or like you're having a bad day and you have to like go to work or like go out and do something you just don't want. Every day. Literally just masturbate.

I swear to God, those three minutes, all your problems are gone. Nothing worse. Like you have literally no worries. Like you're having so much fun and you're going out. What worries? What problems? They don't exist. Chris, are you saying three

as in like we're only three in and we're already on masturbation? No, she said three minutes we're masturbation. I just thought those. She's efficient as fuck about it. You've never made to go come in three minutes. You just exposed yourself. Oh yeah.

Amen, though, you know. Amen. It is true, though. Like, alone, girls can make themselves come so fucking fast. I can make myself come with my own brain. I just came. Yeah, I mean, listen. Literally with women, it's kind of like,

you know, guys fucking killing it. Women are just like, give me that. No, because like, you're trying to come while battling all the things he's doing to make you not come. I do think what she's saying is not that wild, though, as in whenever you're depressed or down, they always say, like, change your mindset in some way, whether it's going for a walk, whether it's taking a shower, or masturbating. I think it's legit. No, I left this in because I think that masturbation is the cure of so many problems in the world. But when men masturbate, don't you get, like, sleepy after? Listen, there's so many times where a man should just jerk off

and that would save him so many problems. Because a man, for whatever reason, evolutionarily, perhaps, gets overly motivated by their sexual desire. And it is wiped out. It's literally like control or delete for the male brain. So choke one out. And then boom, you're fresh. You're like, you're back in the game of not solely focused on that thing. What kind of events?

in a man's life should they choke one out beforehand? Oh, I... Like, I think before a date? I mean, it really, it really depends. You know, some people say choke one out before a date because then you won't be like overly desperate, you know? But then at the same time, you know, if you choke one up before a date and it ends up being like a date that escalates quick to the bedroom, you know, you don't want to, you know,

you want to make sure that you still have, you know, peak desire. Yeah, I think more, it's like when you're about to drunk text somebody. Oh, yeah. When you're missing an X. Yeah, that's a great time to choke one out. Yeah. You don't actually miss them. Your body just needs an orgasm.

Or like, you're thinking, maybe I'll just go to like a strip club, choke one out, you won't go, save yourself a lot of money, you know? Yeah, if you're thinking of, you know, doing something violent. Well, that, yes. I was trying to keep it lighthearted, but I, that's, if men jerked off more, I, I've dealt, I dealt with one guy. And I wasn't a relationship, but I was seeing him who did not, who was an athlete, who had this idea in his head that if he jerked off too much, he would be tired for competing. Yes, I've heard, I've heard athletes have that before. He was a track runner. And he was like a sprinter. And he was, I remember like, he was so normal. And then, we kind of started kissing and he got this like crazy look in his eye like I was like what the fuck's going on he's like sorry having came in like four months and I was like oh my god you're like a loaded gun like it freaked me the fuck out and I never talked to him again but it's like there's some kind of science where like your testosterone levels need to be like constantly like flushed out of you yeah I mean uh I've heard the athletes thing you know but I

don't know if it's true or not but I let what about what about women well I was going to ask a question because women you know masturbating is not something we talk about and like a lot of women don't masturbate start until later in life like a lot of my friends like started masturbating in like college where men will start at like 11 men will start before they could even actually ejaculate and I was fascinated by that I would always ask my guy friends like in high school I'd be like so you guys like masturbate like how often do you masturbate and they'd be like you know like three times a day whatever. And then I thought it was interesting to see, like, how it changed over time. Because girls, it's not part of our life. What happens to me is like, it's like an itch where

like out of nowhere you'll be like, oh shit, I think I should do this. But it's like, it's never, I never plan it. I'm never like, oh, can we to go home and masturbate? A little bit like sitting down and something will happen or a wind will hit a certain way. And I'll be like, oh, it's been a long time. Yeah, I just, I don't know why. I think a little bit of that is the cultural women weren't as open about it, so they weren't clear. Yeah, we don't talk about it to each other. Yeah, but I think that's one of the great revolutions of modern time, the openness about women masturbating, because it's a game-changer for women.

But it still needs so much more. Like, I don't talk to my friends about masturbating. I mean, I got Paige, her first vibrator, and she said it changed her life. And that was at, she was 26, you know? I used to have a routine about it that, you know, I would ask women, do you masturbate? And they'd be like, no. And I'd be like, why not? Because it seems like it's a freaky, like self-indulgent thing you're not supposed to do.

And all the sex therapists, all the sex stuff says that you'll have a better chance of having an orgasm with somebody else if you masturbate. If you figure out what works for you. Yes. So a lot of guys, if you're hooking up with a girl who hasn't masturbated, it's two people lost, you know, in the dark. No one knows what's going on or how to do it. And that's why it's difficult. Yeah, you have to know your jam. but in terms of in terms of the life hack how do you feel because guys for sure have like a mental shift

immediately after they after they come how do you feel about this life hack for a woman because that's what she's saying is masturbate you know you'll relax everything will be everything will reset it's funny because sometimes like if i'm like stressed about something i'm not turned on like it's it's harder for me to be like okay now i need to like mentally get turned on by something it's not as easy where I think a guy could just, like, jerk it off. I think women we have to be more of in a mindset of, like, feeling sexy. Like, I have to feel sexy to come. Right.

I think, I think we're going to try this as an experiment. The next time you're stressed, I'm going to be like, okay, why don't you just go to the room? Well, it's funny because it's like, you know, and you get an argument. Oh, then I guess we could just have sex. Yeah. I love me, you're like, next time, why don't you just go in the other room and I'll lock you up and make you just keep orgasming by yourself? Go to your room. Come back when you feel better because I'm not going to help you.

That was the most marriage shit ever. Well, you know, obviously we're having to laugh because it's based on this hack. But that would be fun. But as an experiment, I think it would be a good experiment. And then some couples get weird, though, if, like, you find out your husband was, like, watching porn and jerking off. But there's a lot of times where, like, you're stressed and, like, your husband's, like, hey, you want to have sex. and you're like, no. No.

Yeah. I mean, I think this is a good life hack. I really do think that masturbation is a good release for a time. Do you think most men masturbate a similar amount of time? I have no idea. I honestly, I think when you're younger, you masturbate a lot. And when you're older, you get into your head that you want to save it. Keep the energy up, you know?

Chris, are you in saving mode yet? I feel like I'm transitioning, maybe. is like oh shit maybe i should be smarter yeah i need to start saving it up bro no i'm just kidding um are we good on that yeah fascinating fascinating i mean you know sorry the last thing i'll say is i did have a routine about consent and about that actually we don't talk um abruptly enough about consent and men and their sense of entitlement in situations where they're having like a sexual encounter with a woman, and that actually very practical life advice for young men, particularly in situations

where they're having like a hookup, which is if, you know, the woman has clearly expressed that she's comfortable up to a certain point, and then at the end of that point, and then that's when the blue balls things come up and all that, that actually what men should be told is at that moment where she has expressed a desire to stop there, that you just immediately go to the bathroom and choke one out. And literally, everything will change. I honestly, thank you for saying that Because I feel like the world would be a better place Because just because you're turned on and she's turned on

Doesn't mean you have to go in her I say a blown load is a smarter man Like literally, you know women are as like men are dumb And it's true But a man is a 25% smarter The second after he's blown his load And that's girl math That's girl math

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Hey, Des. My life hack is something that I read in the New York Times, aka saw on TikTok, and it is to be cringe, is to be free. I've been living my life by this ever since I saw it. I can't remember who the creator is, so I wish I could give her credit. I'm probably living my life by that right now, being cringe. And this is my second time recording this because I wanted to sound cool. I love that I do live I do

Okay I think that My superpower is it takes a lot for me to get embarrassed I feel a lot of other emotions I feel shame I feel I'm whatever I feel a lot of things But embarrassment is something I don't have

I think my dad's also like that And it's a power that you're like Oh wait I don't have Certain fears that other people might have And I always tell people you know, thinking about what other people might think of you or thinking other people think you're not cool, whatever, is the first reason why a lot of people don't chase what, like, their dream is.

Yeah. And I think that the modern society's immediate journey to cringe as a way to express a feeling is actually blocking off a lot of, like, experience of like, there might be something in this. You need to get past cringe. cringe is like an immediate reaction but beyond cringe like she says is freedom or also is like learning about things that you might thought you were uncomfortable with that are actually like either hilarious or entertaining yeah you know also it's a social construction for what is cringe what's cringe now might have not been cringe 20 years ago like it's all made up yeah cringe let's face it cringe has become the weapon of the troll it's like no it's not cringe you know you just want to make people think that they're there's something not great about this, but an actual fact, it's not cringe.

You're just, you're limiting your life. And also, you have to realize if cringe means like you're not good at what you're doing, you're trying to do something you're not that good at, everyone started as cringe. I've been cringe in so many things. The best comedian, the best athlete had to go through the cringe period. And if you can't pass, get through the cringe period. And also, you can change in your head to be like, this isn't fucking cringe.

This is me starting something new. And so many people are afraid to be bad at things. Yes. Embrace being bad at it. Beyond cringe is paradise. Cringe is literally the door to heaven. Yeah. Cringe is the stairway to heaven.

Also, being cringedge, like, even if you are just period, cringe, is, like, so relatable. Maybe that should be the name of your special. Cringe is freedom. Anyway, that's a motivator for anyone who's limited by cringe. I think once you become self-aware of the cringe, like, once I my dad would always joke like oh you had an awkward interaction wow that happens every day yeah that's life and once I embraced it and was like yeah I have awkward interactions and it became funny then like nothing could get to me I'm like oh I had an awkward interaction I'm not scared

exactly that's the whole thing you know I mean I think that has a lot to do with uh you know social media it's like you need to actually just be comfortable with the cringe yeah I mean I've a lot of really talented creators that will tell me I'll be working with them. They're like, oh, you're just going to post that? And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, oh, I overthink everything I post. And I'm like, because it just hurts you. Overthinking and judging what people might perceive or not perceive as cringe. Also, people are perceiving you through their own lens of their own experiences that you can't control. And something one person thinks is cringe, other people think is the greatest thing they've ever seen. Exactly. Freedom. I'm very opinioned on that.

Hey Hannah, this is Mark, a huge fan. And this isn't the biggest life hack ever, but for the petty communicators, such as myself in the world, this has actually been pretty fun. So if you are messaging somebody with an iPhone and you're using iMessage, so the messages are blue, if you hold down, you normally have the option to unsend. And that's typically only if they haven't read the message yet. So you can kind of have low-key red receipts if you just tap on the message that you send. If unsend is a option, if that's an option, then they haven't seen it yet officially. Like they haven't opened the message yet. But if unsend is not an option, then they absolutely have seen it.

And they're ignoring your ass. Nice. Love your stuff. Thanks. Okay. Thank you, King. That's a good. That's a real life.

That's the type of life hacks I was looking for. Wait, Chris, did you submit that? Your voice sounds just like. hey it's Mark because I was like no men listen to me except why were you mouthing that life hack as it was coming up

no shout to Mark I love I love Mark thank you for listening to me I'm obsessed with you I will protect you at all cause I love a man who supports women in the arts that's so it's so great because so many lives have been ruined by a text to the wrong person

oh yeah well being able to unsend it number one is a thing that... People don't talk about it enough. Because I think you used to not be able to. I think it's an update. It's new, but it is good of him to explain. If you can't do it, it means they saw it. Yeah, which is... That's real good. Because people that don't have read receipts, you want to know. This is particularly good, obviously, in, like, the new, maybe, like, slightly obsessed stage of, like, you've met somebody new and you're not sure if they're, like, into it or not. Oh, my God. I had a... In my early 20s, I had a traumatic moment where I was texting someone new, we were, like, into each other.

and I was with all my guy roommates and I started talking about him and my voice memo was on and I looked down and I see like a two-minute voice message that got sent to him. A voice message? A voice message. Not a, not a translation, not a note. A full voice message. Oh, my God. Of us talking.

And it was, I didn't say anything bad, but I was like talking about like some nickname he calls me and we're laughing about it. It wasn't bad, but it's embarrassing. someone knew you talking about that like it's a nightmare and then I guess he was working that night and he didn't respond for four hours you got to a point where like I was at the bar with my friends like you know like I fully accepted the relationship was over I was like it was fun while it lasted you know it was a good time I'm single now back on the streets and then he ended up responding and was like oh he was just like confused and did you say in advance like, sorry, that was an accident?

I think I texted. And I was like, oh, sorry, like. And he didn't respond for like four hours. Because you have to be like, don't listen to that's accident, you know, just erase that. And I think he just wrote like, LOL. At the end of the day, if a guy likes you, he doesn't care. But, like, for, I thought he read it and was like, this girl's fucking crazy and then just, like, didn't respond. But we ended up dating for a while.

But, you know, when you're in that situation where you're like, you really like somebody and you text them and then they don't respond. And you need, you know, like, you don't. you're in like denial, right? You're like, oh, they haven't seen it. They haven't seen it. But like, how long can you go before you go? They've seen it and they're ignoring me. So this is a nice way to know.

Because it'll drive you insane. The one thing I don't miss about dating is those early, like, text exchanges. And I always joke that there's always that moment where you send the risky text, which is like, whether it's like you show a little person, too much personality, like maybe you're making fun of them or you do something. And then you wait to see if they're going to, like, latch on. And I'll have to say for all the girlies and guys who are going through there right now, people don't remember what you say

they remember how you make them feel and if it's meant to be it doesn't matter what the fuck you texted them and sometimes people are busy that's a difficult thing in New York City like sometimes you're like he's busy and then sometimes it's been like two months

you can't keep saying that he lost his phone you know all I'm saying is that the next text should never be question mark what is what is what is funny though is you've dated during a time where people did not have phones

like they didn't have cell phones yeah and you've also dated with cell phones like you that's crazy I've only known dating with cell phones oh my god well I have a lot of routines about it you have to call the fucking house phone when I was a teenager I had to fucking like ask the dad like hello is Sarah there?

No that's crazy part of me in my head is like oh these guys must be like now with all the options like men who didn't have that must be jealous that like oh you could just swipe and find people but back then it was much easier to cheat i would say because right now you just look at a guy's Instagram and you're like who'd you just follow like it's so easy to track guys cheating now where back then like there was no evidence being left around yeah i mean there's definitely more evidence but then i guess social media also gives you a higher chance to uh meet people so it's

i'd say i'd say that that'd be a nice analysis the history of cheating that'd be a good book actually Yeah. Cheating throughout the generations. It kind of reminds me of like murder, like serial killers. Yeah, it's a lot harder to kill. It's a lot harder to kill. It's easier to get away with it back then. But there's a lot more options than nowadays.

Yeah, well, it was definitely easy to get away. The problem now is that because there's so much true crime that everyone's a fucking investigator. You know, Netflix is out there being like, when is somebody, we're running out of documentaries. How are we going to get a serial killer that knows how to work the internet? And it hit me. My best life hack is if you're walking around the city or you're traveling somewhere and you need to use the bathroom, walk into pretty much any hotel lobby and use their bathroom.

They're not going to ask you if you're a guest or look into it. They probably won't even notice you. That is very smart. It is how you like carry yourself. Like if you look confused or like sketchy or weird, they'll be like, hello. but if you just look confident like you know where you're going that's a lot of apartment buildings too

I really feel I know this hack I learned this hack it's very important in New York because New York it's very hard to find a bathroom it's insane how much it's insane how protective

establishments are of their bath even Starbucks it's like you never had to take a piss you know I will you do those things we're like okay we're going to go shopping we're going to be out for a couple hours and then my immediate reaction is

oh shit if I drink anything or eat anything. Where am I going to go? And Starbucks are fine. Starbucks will allow you to pee. The problem is there's always like a line of like 10 people. There's a line of 10 people or they go, oh, we're out of order. They do that a lot. Yeah, Barnes and Noble's used to be the spot, but now there's no bookstores. That's the other thing. What they don't realize is the internet didn't just kill bookshops. It killed the toilets in bookshops. There's a lot of residual. Oh my God. The Barnes and Nobles in Union Square, I would go second floor. I would fucking live in that bathroom. Now that still exists, I believe. Yeah, it does. So that is a spot. Yeah. But,

Or like, you know, McDonald's have like codes and you have. Anyway, the lobby hack is a great hack because not only are you going to be able to use the bathroom, but it's going to be so nice. But what's hard also with these New York City coffee shops, if you go to a not a Starbucks, it's kind of intimate and you feel like you have to buy something. And then the quassants are $14. Yeah. Or a latte is $8, $9, $10. If you get old milk, 16. If you go to a coffee shop and they're like, the bathroom's out of order, it's like,

You're literally selling a laxative. Like, I'm going to drink this coffee. I'm going to need the bathroom. No, so many times they don't. And that's illegal. But, like, obviously you're not going to, like, do anything. You're not going to full care in it and be like, I'm calling 3-1-1. Yeah.

Well, I think maybe we need to call 3-1-1 on these establishments. But anyway, go for lobbies, man. Go for lobbies. Really smart. Like, like, big-ass Hilton in the middle of New York, like up near Times Square. Like, Times Square is like a nightmare place they need to go for a piss. Hotels are everywhere. Yes.

But always go for a little. four and five stars. Don't go to like the, you know, don't go to like, you know, one of those three stars that are like nice, but like they don't have like a proper lobby. You need to go to like, you need to go like the four seasons. Like the higher level, the less chance they're going to say something to you because you could be like a billionaire's son. That's so funny. Yeah. So go as high as possible. Go to the plaza for a piss. Plaza for a Piss. That's the name of your next special. Hey Hannah and I's a big fan and longtime giggler My life hack is something that I actually heard on an ADHD podcast

And I gave it a shot and it worked So the life hack is anytime you have to get something done For me specifically like doing laundry and dishes And just like house chores is when I do this I put shoes on I don't know what it is but it triggers something in my brain That prevents me from like going and laying down on the couch and getting lost scrolling on TikTok.

And yeah, if you're somebody that also struggles with ADHD or anything along those lines, I would highly recommend just giving this a shot. So, yeah. This is good. Love you, too. This is a big struggle for me, huge. But I would argue that getting the shoes on is a struggle.

Like, me deciding to go to the gym, it's like a whole five-hour, like, fucking chorus play musical with ups and downs and plot lines because I get so distracted, it's very hard to even put your shoes on. But this is the thing. I think the life hack is that you don't think about what you're going to do. You just put the shoes on. And that seems to be some sort of like neurological shift that happens that will make the next decision easier. Yes.

But that's kind of like waking up in the morning. You always tell me like, just wake up. But I'm in my head and I'm like, well, if I wake up, then I have to do this and I have to do that. You just have to get out, though. You just have to do the next thing. By the way, the reason why I left this in is this came in like 10 times. Like this life hack. Yeah, this came in a lot.

And so this seems to be an effective life hack for a lot of people. I wonder if crocs count because I'm wearing crocs. By the way, another life hack coincidentally enough came in about getting out of bed like you just said. Oh, yeah, I need it. Which is basically when the alarm goes off, you just get up. Don't press snooze. The alarm goes off. You say one, two, three, up and you get up.

That's it. You just do it. See, I do that when like I have to be somewhere like I was going to be late to practice. But I think I did it so much that I, like, I get off on the idea of not having to do that anymore. Yes, but this is, you have to choose when you need this life hack. And that, that's a different, that's a different. Yeah, I don't have a problem getting up when I need to be somewhere. It's more like a typical day.

I'm going to try this, the shoes on thing. Yeah. Because I think basically it's like a trick. You can do some chores today? It's a trick. You know, we'll see if the trick. Now we're going to start being like, babe, want to put your shoes on? Hey, that outfit looks a lot better with shoes on.

I this is person you're putting your shoes on you're ready to do the dishes I'm only talking to Hannah excuse me I don't think putting the shoes on is going to get you to do the dishes so no I'm speaking for myself I'm going to try it as a life hack for myself I'm so excited for you to do choice today um so my best life hack is something that my mother taught me um I am now a 34-year-old woman with a husband and two children, and she was like, sweetie, you don't ever actually have to really clean your house, just like five minutes before your husband walks in the door, spray pine saw in front of the front door, and he'll always think that you just clean the house. And I have been doing that for the last decade. My husband and I've been married for almost 10

years, and I will occasionally just sprit some pine salt in front of the front door before he comes home. He'd be like, did you clean today? I'll be like, oh, I deep clean the house today. and then he'll give me a back massage and he never fucking knows the truth. Best life hack from my mother. I have so many questions. It's amazing. Also, I love you, Hannah Burner.

That's all. Oh, my God, love you. Kiss you on your forehead. What if you're secretly poisoning your husband? Like, he's been consuming so much pine salt that he starts to be like, oh, I feel really fucking sick. That's amazing. This is a great life hack.

This is one of those life hacks. that like... It's not... It wouldn't work for us though, because our house is so messy. Because if I smell pine salt, I'd be like,

Hannah, what's the matter? What's happened? No, her house is clearly... I'd be like, Hannah's having a manic episode. Her house is clearly like well kept enough that like if it smells good, it's like, oh, you deep clean? Yeah, well, this is the whole thing.

It's like, if Hannah did that, it'd be like, but Hannah, there's shit everywhere. Everywhere. There's garbage all over the ground. Why are there dried platinos still on the coffee table? Why does the old Italian food smell like pine salt? That is so funny, but that's good.

I mean, when I made the Des Bish Work Experience, you know, documentary series about living on minimum wage, one of the scenes that everyone still to this day brings up to me was I was working in a hotel and I had to vacuum the stairs. And I just didn't want to vacuum. So I was just taking my fingers and, like, rubbing them along the carpet to make it look like they'd been vacuumed. So you took as much time just moving.

your fingers. Yeah, literally, but it was like, F you to the man. Yeah. Of like, yeah, okay, so you think I'm doing my job, but I'm not. But it's a similar type of life hack. This is giving just like put all the clothes in the closet and shut the door, put it under your bed, shut the door. That's, that's my kind of shit. Amen. Amen. Hi, Hannah and does, love you guys. This is such a great prompt question. And I, like any normal, intelligent person would do, run straight to TikTok for my answer. And after scrolling for three hours, I realized that That is the answer. Just TikTok itself.

The amount of things I've learned off of it is unmatched. Anything you need to know, search it up. Not only does it tell you what to do, but it shows you. You know, it's not 2008 anymore. No needs to watch a 12-minute YouTube video on how to change a spare tire. You know, my brother and sister both just had new babies. Obviously not together. But, like, how do you change diaper?

You search it up on TikTok. What do I want to eat for dinner? Search it up on TikTok. You know, the Emily Mariko Salmon Bowl literally changed my life. So kind of basic, but sometimes the best things are. So TikTok, it's got to be the greatest life hack. Not basic. Or things that are mainstream work for a reason.

I'm a very visual person. So, like, if I'm reading an article about how to do something, it's never going to be, like, I'm not going to retain it. So, like, I've learned so much about makeup and fashion. and I haven't really cooked anything or cleaned anything. But TikTok is everything. But I do have to say there is a lot of misinformation too on TikTok when you actually try to Google something like an answer for something.

Or like sometimes these therapy TikToks get fucking crazy because I'll get on an algorithm. I'll be looking at something about ego or something. And the next, you know, people are saying like wild shit. And you forget that like just because it's online and it's a person looking at you speaking doesn't mean that they, know what they're talking about. Well, yeah, the level of importance in terms of the advice, you need to increase your skepticism when it gets into, like, you know, serious life issues.

For sure. But, like, she's talking about, like, simple dishes. Yeah, changing diaper, changing a car. Because, like, it is true. Like, sometimes I'll need to go, I'll go on YouTube to, like, find out. And there is, like, there is, like, a long video. It's like, hey, it's Jack here with my, you know, life advice. And you got to deal with, like, to subscribe to my channel. I love you guys. You know, and then you try to fast forward, and then you're like halfway through. It's like, oh, I got to go back. You missed the detail. Although, I have to say, I have a lot of, I have a lot of respect for people that, like, take, like, sometimes coincident enough for you, like, some IKEA furniture.

And then you'll put in the name, like, QX724, ISBN number. And then some dude is, like, taking time out of his life. It has, like, 200,000 views. Yeah, to take time out of his life to show you. I mean, that's pretty cool. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Yeah. Yeah, TikTok is definitely, sometimes I will just watch people, like, cleaning on,

TikTok, because I won't do it, but it's nice to see, like, what it would be if people cleaned. And then some people, I think, will be like, I'm not going to clean unless I film myself cleaning for a cool video to see a transition. But then there's some people who are, it's fucking fake. And, like, they're trying to make it look like they live this perfect life, like, oh, how to have an amazing morning routine. It's like, bitch, you don't do that. You just want to get a couple likes because you have a cool aesthetic in your bedroom. It is weird, the stuff that you get into on TikTok. I have gotten into drain clearing

and also like this gardener guy. You get drain clearing too? I just had to clear the drain over there. Oh, I thought it was like on your TikTok algorithm. No, like, so they put it on a time lapse of like clearing out this drain and like, you know, and then also this guy that puts on time lapse he'll go to like old people's houses who's like

gardens have gotten overgrown and be like, hey, can I clean your garden? And then he's like a quick time lapse and I'm like, I can't stop watching. It's sad. It's very satisfying. It's very satisfying. I once wasted 35 minutes of my life watching this person on TikTok, they go live and they take an egg and they take tweezers and they peel the... The hardball egg? No, not hardball egg.

Like a real egg and they peel the shell, but they keep the like schmegma. I don't think schmigma was the right word. Yeah, if you want to know what schmigma is, because it's a real thing. Seamen. No, it's the cheesy residue on a penis. Oh, I say schmigma is also, like, sleep in your eye. Like, you have some schmigma on your eye. But I think schmigma is officially, do you want to Google Schmgma?

Is it a Yiddish? No, no, Schmegma's like a real word. Oh, that's exactly. I don't have to do it. It's the cheesy residue left on uncircumcised people. Okay, can you Google that? Because I think that's... I'm positive.

I don't think women use Schmegma in the same term. Well, you know, I mean... Schmegma. Go ahead, hit me. Oh, God, this description is rough. Smegma is the thick white... cheesy substance that clucks under the foreskin of the penis.

Sorry, Hannah. I'm sorry, Hannah. You've been misusing schmigma. All over town. You've been misusing smegma. I've literally been like, oh, you got some schmigma on your face. I almost called my firstborn schmigma. I'm like, I don't think she's been

speaking Yiddish. Oh, my goodness. I thought it was a like I'm schvitsyn. I mean, honestly, there could be anything less Yiddish than Schmegma, because it's literally for uncircumcised men. It could be less Yiddish. I was, yeah. Oh, God. Hanna's happy she got her clip. Thank you. Next. Now she can finally relax. All right, hit up. Okay, we got to go quick now because we're running out of time. Hi, Hannah and Des. Love you guys. Okay, this might sound a little mean and a little selfish, but my best life hack is to date a person who hates or just

does not really like their parents. Personally, I am very close with my parents, and I know that when you are dating somebody, you have to split up the holidays between your families, but if you date someone that does not really get along with their family or maybe doesn't have a family it's it just makes the holidays a lot easier because you can just spend the whole holiday season with uh with your family all right obviously i left this in because yeah i mean obviously i left this in because people ask me about our relationship all the time and I go look the fact that parents are dead is sad but but it really makes things quite easy. Sad but convenient. Sad but very convenient. Also, when they do hate their parents,

I do have to find, sometimes obviously it causes issues internally and whatever, and they're in therapy, whatever. They have to work on stuff, and everyone has issues with their family, but sometimes it's good drama. I like the, like, my, like, aunt, uncle drama, like, what did they do this time? Because you're not invested, it doesn't affect them that much. Yeah. I love a good, like, person with a little, enough family drama. And then you get to kind of take their side always. You're like, is that fucking aunt being a, a couple? hunting in. Yeah, man. That keeps myself. I have 14 first cousins. I have 14 first cousins and Ozta. There's always something going on. Yeah. And they're all like, you know, we're all

dysfunctional. So it's, it's very entertaining. Yeah, I get the names mixed up sometimes, but I'm like, what did Stevie do? Cousins are the best because it's like, you love hanging out with your family, but you don't have the same level of obligations. Like my cousins aren't calling me up being like, I can't believe you're not coming. Where's my mother been like, you have to come? Yeah. That would have been drama. Yeah. It's just some healthy family gossip that if you're a couple steps removed is, honestly, it keeps life fun. Yeah, come on. Emotionally healthy people are so boring.

Hit me. Let's get a few of these in before we run out of time. Okay. This is my life hack. I actually read this on a random Facebook comment on like one of those posts that has like 10,000 comments. But anyways, some lady said that the sulfur mosquito bites is to put Don dish soap on them. and I swear by this now and I've tried to find proof

that some hack like this exists on the internet but I have not found anything and all I do is take like a tiny little drop on my finger and just dab it on the mosquito bite and I swear it makes it go away so much faster and like the swelling is nowhere near as intense and chef's kiss I just I would tell everybody now

but it works. I need to know I need to know if this is true because I've been living by the cross method that doesn't work where you take your nail and you stab it and you do the cross and you pray to St. Anthony. The truth is it feels good

for one second and then it isches again. Yeah. So, Chris? One of the things that I see here is that it helps clean up some of the bug saliva before it triggers your immune response

so that might be the reason that actually works. That's interesting. A bit of science behind it. I wonder if it helps with a bee sting. When I first heard that when you get a jellyfish sting someone has to pee on it,

that seemed made up. But I think that that might be true because I think it has to do with the acid... Has anyone checked if you pee on a mosquito bite? Oh. This is how golden showers came about. This just sounds like I'm trying to get someone to pee on me.

Chris has been busy today. Chris is fucking working his little butt off. So here we go. The way that this starts is it just for the jellyfish thing. It just says, quite simply, no. There is no. truth to the myth of being a guise. So, you know, a pervert

came up with that way. Because there's been a lot of people that have been peeing on me whenever I get jellyfish sting. That's crazy. I got a jellyfish thing you need to pee on me. Why are you jerking all? So, oh, that helps too. Anyway, I just wanted, I wanted, I left that in because I wanted to know. Let's jump through a couple more.

I'm very surprised that men have not been like, you know, semen does help with a jellyfish, I mean, a mosquito bite. Yeah, semen gets rid of wrinkles. I don't know. I don't know if this is a hack or a life hack, but I just believe so deeply in the power of a bidet. I just think like wet wipes are so outdated. Also, they ruin your plumbing. Okay, I'm married to a plumber. So I know that when you flush a wet wipe, it can cause a pandemonium. Oh. So avoid all this. Buy yourself a bidet. They have them for $50 on Amazon and wash your butt instead of just wiping it. It's just not enough. you want to feel real clean, but also be

careful because you can get UTIs with a bidet. So be careful, but still, get a bidet and watch the booty because honestly, wipes and toilet paper are just not doing it for me. And then what? You're going to put a nasty wet wipe in the trash can? No, you're going to flush it. And then guess what? Your plumbing will get ruined.

And then my husband will have to go and fix it. And then he gets home too late. So that's my life hack. Honestly, plumbers, like, that is a fucking manly. job. That's a great. Maria Plummer. That's a life hack. That is, that is the life hack. But I love to see she so casually was like, you will have UTIs for those three lives. So you want to block toilet or a UTI? You decide. But it is true because you're very adamant about do not put the wet wipe in the toilet. So I'm so scared of it. But babe, admit, it is gross. You almost should

wipe first with toilet paper and then finish it up with the wet wipe because you don't want wet wipes full of poop in your trash. Yeah, no, but that is what you do. Okay. Just making sure. No, that is what you do. Yeah. But I really, Aidan, my brother, I've mentioned this before, but he is really...

Calling him out. No, but he's adamant about the washing your butt thing. Like, it's just so much nicer. Someone once said that if you don't use a bidet, it's like brushing your teeth without ever flossing. Someone said that to me. But my thing is, that takes admin to put a bidet together. Are you going to put your sneakers on and put it in a bidet today? No, but I think that there's like, you can get these like portable, you can get these like portable things.

Yeah, there's a thing, Tushy I used to use. Yeah, so, I mean, I think this is a good life act. But the reason why I left it in is because it's, it's really important that you do not flush wet wipes. And I've said it before, and I'm going to say it again, there is no such thing as a flushable wet wipe. They say flushable, but they are lying. That should be like, that should be like one of those commercial, you know, these, like, it should be brought up as false advertisements. There's no such thing as a flushable way. Obviously, they can say, well, you can flush it, but it's not good.

What is it called? A class action lawsuit? What's it called? A class action lawsuit. Have you been lied to about wetwives and had to pay for plumbing for years? Yeah, but New York City, the city could take a class action lawsuit against these flushable wetwaps because they're not flushable. Yeah.

I think our next, we might have to do an episode about like things that are actually scams. Oh, yes. Like what's an actual scam. Yes. Yeah. I think what we need to do in that. that one is not have the dialers dial in. I think we need

to get like a like a consumer expert like somebody who is in the business of scams and get them in to go through like the top 10 things that are just accepted by society that are total bullshit. We love that. Controversial. That's controversial. That's like

calling people out. Yeah. That's like that'll get us in the top 10. Or get us cancelled by brands. Yeah. Hi Hannah and does. I love the pod. And first of all, I never hear your male audience unless it's one of the girly's boys. And I'm not a girly.

And I don't have a girl like because I'm gay. But anyway, life half for you. So if you're in the kitchen and you're cutting onions, if you wet a paper towel and you set it right next to your cutting board as you're cutting onions, you don't tear up anymore. I don't know the magic of it. I don't know the science behind it. but having the water in the paper towel like right next to the cutting board makes it so that you don't tear up anymore. I tell everyone that I know this and they all say thank you because they absolutely love that they don't tear up anymore. So I definitely recommend it. Anyway,

thanks guys. A domestic king. Yeah, I thought this was like, this is a proper life hack. And I know you're Googling it now, but somebody else messaged in saying that if you wet the onion, it doesn't. So I feel like this could be, is this Chris? So it says, it actually came up immediately in Google. I don't even have to finish typing it. The acidity from the onions gravitates towards the water. Wow. Is it almost like when you're there, like the water from your eyes is getting pulled out to be toward, like, why do you cry with the onion?

Oh, that, that I don't know. Hannah takes it to the next level. Why do you cry with the onion? See, I don't need answers to things. I just like wondering. This is a great life hack because I don't know if some people are more susceptible than others, but like I really. That's the worst feeling. I tear up a lot when I'm cutting an onion.

What's the last time you cut them? Why do we cry? When an onion is cut certain compounds are released, causing nerves around the eyes to become irritated. Do you know what I want to know a hack for? How your pee cannot smell after eating asparagus. Because I will have one bite of asparagus and my pee will reek for the whole day. After like having one bite.

I know, but here's the thing. It doesn't matter. How many times are you peat like, Like, you're not peeing around anybody. I know, but it doesn't matter. I just feel like, why is that the one thing? It smells like I, like, literally consumed, like, 10 smoothies of asparagus or something. And I don't like the power it has over me.

Oh, right, yeah. Because it's only you that's smelling it. Like, even recently you, I was, like, near the bedroom and you were, like, complaining about the smell of on your pee. And I was like, I was not smelling it. Like, it's not an issue. If I was going to be concerned about anything, I'd be concerned about the smell of your poop. Okay? Because that's really more of a commutal issue.

Yeah. That's normal. Like, I'm not, I, no one, like, tricks me. But it's also normal to have asparagus pee. I feel like asparagus tricks you. They're like, oh, this tastes good and it's healthy, but we're going to fucking make your pee smell like the worst thing I've ever smelled. Yeah.

Well, I just think this onion hack is great. This is a real hack. Yes, it is a good hack. I mean, when was the last time we've cut onions? Well, I haven't cut an onion for a while. However, when I cut them, they do make me cry. But I'm, this isn't about me. This is about the dialers.

Yes. So, you know, I'm happy that we're getting the inf- This is about- I feel like, of all the hacks, I'm not going to rate them, but this will be definitely top five real, like, change somebody's life, kind of like, wow, I never knew that, and that's practical. We're doing really important things today.

Yeah, this is real stuff. This is not just light-hearted entertainment. This is like life-hardtitting journalism. Yeah, this is it. Do we have any more? No more. Hi, Hannah-Andez. Love you guys.

Love Giggly Squad. I'd love burner phone. My life hack maybe isn't so profound, but I think a good way to save money and avoid pain is to use a trimmer on your pubs instead of a razor or getting a wax. And I personally, whenever I get a wax, still get bumps and a rash no matter what for some reason. And I recently switched to a trimmer, like men use on their balls. and it has saved me like the $80 that it costs to get a wax and I don't break out. And it's honestly better than shaving too because you don't get the razor burn.

So highly recommended trimmer for all the women out there who hate getting waxes and can't shave. Also men, I think they use trimmers already. But that's my life hack. Thank you. This is really, really, really good. It also reminds me like a life hack is for some reason they make like women's razors. for like your legs not as good as like a man's razor for his face. You can't beat a Gillette fusion.

Yeah, so I just buy men's razors and I have a better shave. I mean, I don't shave as often as I should. But this is incredible because waxing is the most horrible. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. And there's always jokes that men will like get their chest wax and like sob. Like it's the worst thing ever. It is the worst thing ever. And you think of how sensitive your skin is like in your bikini line area and someone's

ripping hundreds of hairs out and burns. I've had a bleed before. Like, I, I once got a wax that I was sweating so much from the pain that we had to stop for like 20 minutes so that I could stop profusely sweating. So I hate waxing. I get lasered. I can't even take off a Band-Aid. No, imagine, no, literally, that is the, that is the ultimate comparison.

Imagine how bad a Band-Aid hurts times that by 100. It's something, and I have a high pain tolerance, and I was like, I cannot live this life. And girls were doing it once a month. I would get in fights with the guy I was with because I'd be like, you don't even fucking deserve this. I'm doing it for you, and you don't even fucking know the kind of pain I'm going through. So I do highly recommend if you don't want to do, like, the day-to-day stuff to get laser, because it's a lot faster and not as painful at all. And use the one that has, like, the cold wind coming out.

But anyway, this trimmer thing is. game-changing, because I haven't even thought about it. But you don't get down to bald, though, with it, though, right? I think she's saying that you're using it like a razor. Like, you're trimming down to the skin. Yeah, like one of these manscape. Because she said you don't even get, yeah. So I think this is smart because shaving does create bumps for me too.

I have very sensitive skin and very thick hair. Yeah, I also feel like, you know, I wish it would come into fashion, whatever about old school, like, hairy pubic areas. I wish you would come into fashion. Just like, just trim it down. to like nice and neat, but it doesn't have to be all the way down. Then you definitely won't get the bumps or the irritation. Yeah, and also you want to feel sexy.

What makes you feel sexy? But a lot of times you feel sexy based on what you think is trending. Yeah. And you know what? If your pubic hair is cringe, you lean in. Yeah. I mean, you don't let it stop you. So that was a lot of hacks.

That was, honestly, I really loved this episode. Yeah, and we got through it too, which I'm surprised. But you know, you know what it is. It's just like so many of them are just so interesting. You don't even need to add anything. Yeah. And it's such. a wide range. You guys, the dialers are doing so amazing. We're so obsessed with you guys. We love you

so, so much. Dialers, this was your episode. This was your episode. You guys carried this over the line. You guys did it. Yeah. You guys did it. Make sure you rate, subscribe, review. Check out our websites for shows coming up. Yeah, come and see me in Chicago on New Year's Eve. Still tickets available. And I just announced another Denver show and another Cincinnati show and a lot of other shows. And come see me in Tempe, Tempe, Arizona. All weekend. Tempe and, And January 4th to 6th. Every Monday on our Instagram, we put the next prompts. So keep an eye out.

Make sure we follow us. We're going to have some good holiday prompts. I guess we're going through the holidays, are we? Yeah. And send us any prompts that you guys think will be good. You could also put it in the reviews. Could you see that? You know, even if you wanted to send DM, though, actually don't send in prompts because

it'll get lost in the mix. But if you want to DM things that you think are scams that are just like accepted in society, we'll start investigating. But that'll be like in the DMs, me or Hannah's DMs. But yeah, we have so much fun hearing your guys cute, adorable little voices, and have an amazing rest of your day. Thanks for calling in. Thank you.

Bye. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Des. This is Misty from Oklahoma City, rep in the OKC Gigglers. Hannah seen you this past summer live, made my whole entire life. And if you could please let Paige know that in addition to air conditioning, we also have central heat in Oklahoma. I just don't want her worrying about her OKC gigglers through the cold months.

Anyways, my life hack is don't put it down, put it away. I say this to myself at least 10 times a day. Don't put it down, put it away. Don't put my hairbrush down on top of the pile of clothes on the floor where I'm not going to be able to find it later. Put it back on my vanity. Don't put a cup on the dining room table. Just go ahead and put it away in the dishwasher. This has changed my life.

It's helped my little ADHD brain so much, so I hope this can help somebody else. Don't put it down. Put it away. Okay, this is the Don't Settle Girl again. Sorry, just two additional notes. Don't settle about parking tickets either. If you have a lot of parking tickets, the best way to get rid of them is to throw away your license plate. Or sorry, not throw away.

Well, yeah, throw away. Get a new license plate. And all those tickets, red lights are nulled because that license plate is no longer active. um one more thing when you're leaving a parking garage if you don't want to pay the ticket get out of your car run to the other side of the kiosk press the ticket and typically the first hour is free okay great don't ever settle for anything especially those things too bye hi hannah and does um you guys are a perfect couple anyways um my life hack is that when i go to wash my face I put a scrunchy on each wrist so that water doesn't dribble down my arm when I'm washing my

face and splatter everywhere. That is the worst possible outcome to end your night when you're washing your face. So, yeah, that is my best life hack. Hi, you guys. Hannah, I'm excited to see you in Jersey in March. My biggest life hack is to always ask for forgiveness, not permission. It worked when I got my belly button pierced when I was 16 without asking my parents. And it works when I eat co-workers food in the break room. And it worked when I brought home my second, third, and fourth dog, two cats, and a hedgehog. um to my boyfriend like people get a little bit angry but they're never not going to forgive you

so always always shoot for forgiveness fuck permission bye