Berner Phone - Berner Phone #28: Best Ways to Destress

Episode Date: February 17, 2024

If you've been stressed out lately, this is the episode for you. The dialers are spilling the most unique and creative ways they destress. We already feel more relaxed after listening to them! ZocDoc.com/BERNER Free delivery at Squeezed.com with code BERN 20% off at HoneyLove.com/BERN 40% off at HungryRoot.com/berner mintmobile.com/berner  

Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. What's up, my little dialers? We're going for a drive this morning. On the road episode. And by this morning, I mean 11.45 a.m.

We're recording. Honestly, I think anything before. Before 2 p.m., I say, good morning. Yeah, that's your morning. I mean, if, you know, if it's three hours into your day, that's still the morning. Don't tell me what my morning is, okay? Morning, it's a made-up thing anyway, so I think it's before two, I'm going to look at you, and I say, what a pleasant morning it is.

It is, right. Exit 33 on the Long Island Expressway, driving out to West Hampton, Long Island, literally on the road. So this is, like, kind of our kink, which is we'll go for a drive, and it's an hour, and I go, what if we just brought the podcast equipment and the audio actually sounds amazing because we're in this like small car we apologize for the fact that there is probably just the gentle sound of the road uh in the background of the journey yeah think of it like a like an npr documentary you know sound effects kind of like when you're falling asleep with a little static noise i've been back and forth from ireland since we talked last so that's pretty exciting does has traveled more with

his torn ACL than anyone. First time I've been driving since it's all happened. So anyway, it's all positive. This is a positive day in our lives, a bright, sunny New York winter's day. Also, we got some great feedback on the last episode. People loved the meat cute stories. And that was you guys. That was the dialers.

I mean, we always give credit where credit is do. The dialers bring it every fucking week. Also, we stopped at Dunkin' Donuts. Did you like the Dunkin' Donuts ad? at the Super Bowl oh you know I just I only saw the ones that you sent me because I was actually fly I was flying that day yeah I thought it was good vibes you know some were better than others I thought Ben Affleck was either having the time of his life or like he was drunk let's face it let's face it Ben Affleck is hard to read you know he only has like two emotions

you're so right I'm laughing or I literally look like I'm you know it need to be committed yeah no you're so right but i do have to say matt damon makes me laugh a lot yeah matt damon's comedy credentials are probably underrated underrated underrated anyway we got sidetracked on that i i do want to give people some updates from last week because there was a story about a woman who typed the wrong email and it ended up going to the wrong person and now that person became a love story yes and and if you listened last week you know exactly what we're talking about so let's get a little update from her. We love these updates. And the best part of the story is that, well, number one, like, I'm a teacher for adults. I teach, he hopes not children. And when I thought that I had

emailed a student, it was a Ph.D. student. So fully an adult. And I asked him if he was interested in this upcoming training. And his response to me was three words. And the response was interested in you yeah it was bold it was forward and men today could never so that's what really stood out

to me interested in you amazing but he didn't even know what she looked like maybe she had a little photo in her signature you guys maybe if you're single always have a photo of yourself you know Paris filter face tune in your signature

I mean Alex Cooper met her guy on a Zoom work call Really? Yeah, she called him Zoom Man for like that's right, sexy Zoom man Sexy Zoom man, he was just in the corner of Zoom Spacing out and she was like, that's my husband. That's the guy. So you guys, people be like, oh, don't shit where you eat.

You meet people at work. It happens. Doesn't I are coworkers? You never know when your avatar is your first impression. True. Oh my God. But also, this is the thing. He, I got to, that was aggressive. That was aggressive. He has to be really attractive, because if he's not, and someone just responded interested in you, I'd be like, okay, I don't need to be creeped on on a Tuesday. He's responding to, like, a random accidental email.

It's not like he's normally saying, interested in you. He's going off the fact that there's, like, he's jokingly being like, I have no idea what this is, so I'll just send this as a joke. That's funny. Okay, that's funny. I was just envisioning, like, when you go on your Twitter DMs and some guys like, hi, my name's Steve. No, it wasn't that. And I've never seen someone so beautiful. Can you send me $400?

It was just being silly, you know? Yeah. So anyway, it was good to get the update. Because that was our question last week. What could he say? The question was like, I thought I was sending it to a student or whatever. So the adult student. And we also have one more update.

Well, this isn't an update. This is actually somebody that missed the prompt last week. And it was a good one. You liked it. Hi, Hannah and Des, huge giggler here. And Des absolutely loved your stand-up on YouTube. I meant to submit this last week, but I obviously was lacking. on admin, but this story is too good not to share. The craziest way I ever met a romantic partner

was that we matched on hinged, and he was very persistent on taking me on a date, but not in a creepy way. So I finally decided to give him a shot. Whenever I gave him my address to pick me up for our first date, he responded with, why did you send me my address? We then realized that we actually lived in the same apartment building, and I actually lived directly three stories above him. We just recently got married on our three-year anniversary And are expecting our first baby next month Love it I just love the randomness

That episode, we're going to have to do that episode again in the future Because the randomness, like, why are you sending my address And then boom, some shit's just meant to be, me I do have a college story that kind of relate Okay I was at the KK in Madison You know, where you go on weekends I only know it because it comes up in your stories a lot

the college club um and i guess i was drunk and i guess some guy was like kind of cute and we were like leaving the bar together and we lived on the same the same apartment complex on the same floor and he ended up being creepy so then i had to avoid him for the rest of the year oh my god that's the worst yeah it's like mission impossible every time you leave the house like he look like like like a cop on like a drug bus like fucking leading your head out quick at the side it's like clear the door at the like hole to make sure he's not in the vicinity send your friend in front doing like the two finger like uh military we're clear we're clear stories they either go like amazing like you're like where they can't d'an or you're like and then i had to you know file a restraining order

yeah it's the worst ever it's i mean love hate it's all a thin line but that's what's so interesting about life a little bit of wind a little trickle of water could just change the chemistry of everything um but honestly that experience that you had it turns out that was like a guy that you nearly hooked up with or did hook up with and then it was awkward but like i promise you everybody a little tip about life for the rest of your life for the rest of your life you're going to be avoiding people avoiding people's part of life like your neighbors people in your building there's going to be people you want to avoid and then there's going to be people that you can't avoid that You're going to be like, fuck, I got to put on a smile for this motherfucker.

That's just part of life. But you know there are social couples out there? Like, there are people that are like, you know what would make this better if there were more people in our house? No, but I understand about people being social. But we're not antisocial. We're social, but when we're in the mood. No, but what I'm saying is that like even social people are going to have people that they want to avoid. True.

You know? There's going to be some like annoying Karen in your neighborhood or like somebody with a dog that you hate or just, you know, or somebody who has a dog that your dog bit wants. There's always going to be people that you want to avoid, no matter how socially you are. It's just part of life. That is very neighborhood-y. Like when you grow up in New York City,

you actually don't really have to avoid that as many people, I think. I don't know about that because you commonly mention the guy in our building that you're trying to avoid. Oh, there is one guy. Well, actually, you're so right. It's so like the universe The one person you're trying to avoid You will see every fucking day

And you're like, how is it possible That I've never seen anyone else in the building But you And there's thousands of people in this building Yeah And then you're stuck with them in the elevator man Yeah Anyway

But I do have to say This kind of social stuff Has helped me save a lot of money Because I can't handle like walking to a boutique With cute stuff And just having the lady look at you The whole time And they're like how are you

How's your day going? It's like a fucking meet and greet Every time you walk into a boutique The more expensive the shop The more awkward it is Oh my God Yeah and God forbid I like look at something Then it's like a whole ordeal

I have to try it on And if you're people please their next thing you know You're buying it I mean basically you just go I'm just looking around But the problem is you always go I'm just looking around And then they're like

If you want to try anything on let me know Yeah I've so many times even been like Oh this store's cool And then had an interaction I like and been like Thank you And then just walk out.

Well, I worked in Burberry, you know, in the 90s. Yeah. And, you know, you're selling expensive stuff. And it is kind of a skill because you can actually, like, if you can get the item on somebody. Yeah. If you can get a Burberry trench 21, $1, $1,200 in the 90s, right? If you can get it on somebody, there is a chance that, like, they'll love it or even worse, that they will just feel so ashamed that they'll buy it out of guilt. I know.

And that's me. That's the reality. Get it on them. Did they, was there, like, a process that they taught you for selling? No, I didn't get, like, a sales pitch. I didn't. Some crazy acronym. My sales, how I got the job was that my father was the general manager. Oh, okay.

I was a nepo seller. They didn't have a system to, like, sell the stuff that they teach you? No, no. I mean, just basic stuff. It was, it was fine. I mean, at the end of the day, Burberry stuff largely sold itself, like somebody that was in the mood. But I feel like you could, you know, you could turn somebody. But anyway, so I've been on both sides of that.

I come from a... But here's the thing. On the other side of it, whenever somebody was like, I'm just looking around, it was fine. I feel like when you're the snooper, you're feeling more pressure than is actually on you. Yes. But sometimes I feel like they do, like, make you feel bad for just looking around. Like, they'll give... But then, again, yeah, maybe I'm just projecting on them.

I think you're, often you are projecting. But you can tell when you walk in these people, they're like, they haven't sold anything all day. You come in, they get excited for a second, and then you watch the happiness. drain from their eyes when you're like, I'm just, you know, waiting for my husband to finish his PT and I'm just strolling. My dad is a, you know, salesman. So there was a lot of sales talk in my house when I, my first job was cold calling sales. We would like practice together at dinner. And there are all these like, you know, like CCC, you got to look at the. Yeah, we didn't have any of that. It wasn't like that. There's a lot of strategy involved in cold calling sales or just selling in

general. But the one thing I learned the most from sales, which I think has helped me sell anything, including just myself, is when you want to try to sell something, you have to just ask what they want, and then you tell them how whatever you're pitching is going to do exactly that for them. And then it kind of just makes sense. So you're turning into like some sort of like motivational ticotker I know Andrew Huberman this is what happens

when you drive on Long Island you become like a Long Island salesperson let's get it we got so many great calls let's get into the dialer we didn't even get to the top The prompt is how do you

de-stress and calm yourself down what's like a unique way that you chill the fuck out and I think I put this because like you know we had the holidays Valentine's Day

it's fucking cold. It's scary. Existential crisis. I'm like, how do we just all relax a little? Because I feel like so much of my life, like I'm working, and then I'm complaining that I'm not relaxing enough. And then when it's time for me to relax, I'm like, I don't know how to relax. Well, you're going to be well equipped now. We've got some great tips. And can I just say that 50% of them were smoking weed? Oh, sorry. 50% were smoking weed. Now, we are not a weed couple. Have you ever smoked weed before? Oh yeah. I mean my

weed days are well over though so I actually didn't let let I didn't actually include a smoking weed one but can I just say thanks to everyone who said smoking weed and it is a fine it is a fine method of de-stressing no judgment here. But I do think if you smoke too much

it makes you more anxious and you have to keep smoking to like get that high I'm not trying to be like you know a Debbie Downer or that mom but I think there's a you can do too much of anything. And I had some friends who went too far with the weed stuff. Okay, so caution on the weed option.

Yeah, like you can... And then some people like Gummies. I've been joking that I... I ruined parties when I spoke weed. I'm not good with weed. I guess it's different personality types. I think I have control problems where, like, the second my brain gets kind of fuzzy,

I'm like, oh, if something happens here, I'm not going to be able to save the town because I'm dumb right now. now because I'm high. And then I start freaking out. I'm like, if someone needs me to figure out a mathematical equation and the Pythagorean theorem, there's no way I'm going to solve it. And we're all just going to be helpless.

The way I feel about weed is there are some comedians that weed is their whole personality. So I just leave that area for them. I avoid the subject. I mean, a lot of comics smoke weed. To be creative, to be funnier on stage, the way my career would plummet. I started smoking me. I can't even be drunk on stage. When I'm drunk on stage, I will start laughing before I tell the joke.

I'll be like, you guys, this is so funny. And then they just stare at me, and I'm like, and the worst is when you walk off stage, you think you did good because you're like, that was fun. When everyone's like, that made no sense. Let's face it, we're a stress couple, not a weed couple. A stress couple? We thrive on stress.

Let's get into some stress relief. Come on. Okay, let's learn. Maybe we could evolve from this. So I don't know if this is, like, I'm pretty sure everybody does this but I'll go on a walk like a power walk or like

a run or a jog but I'll usually put headphones in and have a fake conversation like I'll pretend that I'm on the phone with somebody and just like blowing whatever it's called like

getting things off my chest and just like going off and being like this fucking bitch pissed me off and blah blah blah and like i don't actually want to tell anybody about it because like i don't know like it's just for me to complain about my day but i'll pretend to be on the phone so that i don't look like a crazy person yelling in public like to nobody i mean i you live in new york i could probably get away with that in new york i live in Denver so that i need the headphones as like a buffer but yeah i just fake scream in public in my phone oh my god this is very interesting

it gives kind of like verbal diaring verbal journaling diarying that's diarrhea verbal journaling so it means like you're basically just venting but you don't have to worry about like the person on the other side being like okay this is affecting our friendship because

you're trauma dumping and you've been talking about this forever but this is like literally like putting it out into the universe like in a way that's like so freeing because you're literally out in the union you're out there just like unloading it and and you're around other people so there's something like doubly liberating about it because the other people think that you're on the phone but you're literally just they think you have a lot of friends yeah you're just you're just putting it out to the ether

I mean for me I love it because I have a habit as you know of like just getting deep in my thoughts and then literally like fucking verbal like I will actually verbalize the the shit that's coming out we've talked about before I don't want to be repetitive but what when I heard this I was like well here's a solution just put some air pods in I have to be one of those idiots that always walks around with AirPods, because then I can be my own self without looking like I have serious issues. Wait, maybe that's why AirPods actually are doing so well, because no one's actually talking to anyone.

Everyone's just, like, losing their shit to themselves. But if you think about it, it is such a, like, you're a release, because if you're just sitting at home, not moving your body, spiraling, your thoughts are spiraling, spiraling, spiraling, there needs to be, like, some kind of release. So if you go outside, you're moving your body, and you're fucking venting. Yes. I mean, I love that. And it's an automatic mood changer because there's a silliness to it, too.

So as you're venting, you're almost kind of being funny about it. So it's like immediately like the whole perception of what's going on changes. I think it's, yeah, there's something about when you say it out loud, too, it becomes less scary. Like if you're really nervous about something or upset about something, when you say it out loud, you're just like, oh, okay. And that's how journaling is too. Like, you'll write it down like, I'm nervous that my boss is going to be mad at me tomorrow. And then you look at it and you're like, that's fucking stupid. All the Christians are like, hey, guys, this is praying.

We've been, you're literally just praying. You're putting it out there. Yeah, I mean, but that, you know, that is what religion is. It's a release of, you know, putting yourself, putting yourself, I don't know what religion is. I have no fucking clue what religion is. I don't know. You started looking at me and then I started panicking. I went to Sunday school for three years, motherfucker.

I'm to Sunday school. I thought it was great. I wasn't trying to cut you off. I was curious what your take. I do have to say, though, this is definitely, like, my mom goes on, my mom invented the hawker walk. She's been hawker walking forever. And when she, I know she's on our walk on a certain time.

So, like, I'll call her if I'm in transit or not. And we just fucking let it out. And then I'm like, okay, talk to you tomorrow. during your hawk or walk yeah there's something i don't know there's something i i think this is ingenious there's something like powerful about like essentially you're just unloading on your imaginary friend in a way that's just so like letting it go i do this whenever i'm nervous in new york city that like i'm in like a i see like it's like dark and late and there's like a strange man following me i'll get in the phone and be like i'll be there soon i know like i know he just got out of

jail and i know that he has anger problems but like i love him and i yes i'm going to see him soon yeah he's finished at the gun he's finished at the gun range how many guns does he have so i've got i definitely go on the or i've gone on the phone when i'm just feeling awkward like at a party i've definitely been like oh for sure um isn't isn't it the worst though when you're in a long conversation you really have to pee and you say somebody i have to go to the bath i mean you know they're thinking they're just trying to get out of this conversation but you're like no i actually You have to pee. But the last thing I'll say about this is that I think on top of it, on top of like the letting it go,

I also think that you will automatically give yourself responses in your mind. And I think that there will be solutions in those responses. Wait, that's genius because I am so good at giving advice. Like when my friend calls me, I'm completely unbiased. I'm so just like logical. and I know it'll be hard but this is what you have to do but then what comes to my own problems

I'm so fucking jaded and like there's so many filters I'm seeing it through and so many lenses so if you're talking yourself you become your own best friend who's almost like the person that you need to give advice and you start to see that other side of yourself

that actually could be logical in this situation and could give you that perspective yeah okay we're about to be crazy and we're so distracted all the time it's like having a moment with yourself you're like hey long time no see. Check out my motivational TikTok. You're talking to your conscience. Yes. All right, great suggestion. Thank you very much, darling. I didn't know where it was going at first. Yes. I love it.

Great job. Okay, number two, I'm feeling more relaxed already. So a unique way that I like to unwind and de-stress is I will sit on my couch and rot and look at houses on Zillow that I could never be able to afford. There's something so soothing and peaceful about it. And then I critique these $30 million homes and say, well, I would never build it like that. And it just, I don't know, it makes me feel good. No, this is so relatable. I'm like, how could you choose that marble? Money doesn't buy you class. Okay. Because there's nothing better than sort of like looking at the unachievable and being like, well, I would do this. this unachievable thing so much better than these clowns.

But there is also low-key of form of manifestation in that. Like, I find, like, when I watch documentaries of people who, like, accomplish their dreams or I look at, like, you know, really nice properties, you're kind of, like, channeling that energy within you of, like, success and hitting your goals and look for the things you want, and then they start becoming less out of reach in your head because you're creating, like, neurological pathways to it. I made that up. But, you know, but I mean, that's the whole manifesting thing anyway.

It's not an area that's going to hold up to science, so say whatever the hell you want. People! No, I'm just saying you're in a safe space to say whatever you want around that stuff. But, you know, the great thing about these little Zillow trips that she's taken is it's almost literally like being on HGTV. Yeah. Except you're the director or you're the sassy presenter that has opinions on what's in the house. Well, you really kind of put yourself in this mindset of, like, your window shopping these mansions. And the only reason you're not buying it is because you don't like the doorway.

That's the only reason. Yeah, you can dilute yourself. You're like, honestly, yeah, if it wasn't for those hardwood floors, I'd be all over that. Oh, this carpet? This carpet is a deal breaker. I do have to say, I know that I'm doing, like, I don't know if I'm doing mentally well or bad, but there's moments where you always want to, like, more, you want to find a problem. And sometimes you can't find it. And I feel like that's when I become obsessed with getting a long-haired chihuahua.

Like, I know when I'm on my phone just, like, searching PetFiner for long-haired chihuahua is that I'm like, okay, you're doing fine because this is the only thing you're like obsessing over right now. And you're like, oh, if I got this chihuahua, life would be so good. Yeah, except, you know, your marriage would have some issues. My marriage would have issues. Butter would be beyond herself. Hannah's like, hey, we foster pit bulls, which are probably like the dog that people worry about the most. How can I make this worse? Let's go for the dog.

People hate even more. Chihuahuas. But I do love looking at Zillow and just, it's nice to be like, oh, everything is good in my life. What could make it better? That kind of mentality where it's not like just living in the past. It's very like looking towards the future. Yeah. And plus, honestly, like it's fun to go.

Like if you're in a place, like you're on tour or something and you're in like Cincinnati, Ohio or something. Just it's very fun to sort of look. at Zillow and go, holy shit, that's what you can get here for that, you know, that type of comparing and contrasting. I don't think, I think a lot of people don't realize that you can just go on Zillow wherever you are. Yeah, do you remember when we went to Aspen? How fun was that trip? I was like, okay, how much would a one bedroom be in Aspen? You guys, it's crazy pants. And I live in New York City and I was like, this is next level shit. Yeah. But it's very fun to be like, oh, if I live two blocks from here, what would my life be?

What Pilates class would I be going to? Yeah, Hannah was like, oh, what can we buy an Aspen and then I was like, how much is a hospital visit in Aspen? I think it might affect our house purchasing power. How much is physical therapy in Aspen? All right, let's shake and bake. I knew you'd like that one. Hi. Okay, so I'm here to let you in on my coveted secret. It's called speed dancing. And what I do is nobody has to be home. You shut your door. You put on some fucking sunglasses that make you feel good. You put on your headphones and you blast music so loud, dance in the mirror, pretend like you're on stage, all your haters, lovers, everyone you've ever wanted to be are sitting there watching you. They have to silently and you're just getting it.

You're going so hard, you're sweating. You're doing moves. People have never seen before. You're practicing for the next time you're on the dance floor in public. And boom, you feel amazing after. Obviously, this is because it's like working out, so I'm sure endorphins are released. But really, it's good to just see you kind of getting it, if you know what I mean. I think she danced before she left that message.

Wait, I'm obsessed with her. I want to be best friends. this is me when I was a four-year-old Leo Queen we had this huge mirror in our house like it was the whole I don't know why the fuck there was a mirror that big and I would just put on like now four or whatever you know the nows

put on like now for Christine Aguilera Gina in a bottle and my parents would just leave me alone and I would just look at the mirror and be like I'm a genie in a bottle and I'd practice the dance moves over and over I'm like you have a big performance later tonight and I'd be I'd do it for

seven hours like i'd be gone all day and it's true you pump yourself up and i do that in general like daydreaming is so good for your mental health well all i can say is that there are times when i'm not in the mood to go to the gym that i will use this method as a way to get me in the mood so much so that i once thought about doing like a youtube series of workout warmups so basically like these are not workouts but this is five minutes that will absolutely make you want to go to the gym by the time we're done and it was very much this just like putting on an awesome song and just dancing the way that you like to dance and it absolutely changes your mood well it's funny because this girl I was like she needs to start her own YouTube channel because this is a workout that I would

be down for I actually you know what I actually pitched it to John Bishop I actually pitched it to John Bishop who coincidentally enough I met up with this morning I was saying like this could be a good TV show like comedians doing like workout dances to like get people in the mood to go to of the gym. But what I like about this is I get very intimidated by workout dances like hip hop dances or Zumba because I'm like, I can't remember the moves and I'm going to look stupid. I love how it's like, you do your moves. Yeah, you do your stupid shit.

We all do it together. Yeah. I mean, it's like risky. There's a, do you obviously risky business? Yeah. Yeah. So there's an element with the sunglasses. I was feeling that maybe there was a subconscious inspiration from Tom Cruise coming out and like, you know, going crazy.

But either way, absolutely the endorse. Orphins are going to kick off, and this is going to make you feel better. And you don't have to be self-conscious because you're on your own. I also think it's funny I bring up childhood, because I think a lot of suppression happens when you're adult. Like you have to act a certain way. You have to carry yourself a certain way. You have to sit a certain way, stand.

You have to talk a certain way. So for you to, like, be able to put on a different persona that's unfiltered and free, it's very orgasmic. Like, it's very like, blah. Like, yes, liberating. And I do think depression is when you feel, like, you feel. like you're not being yourself and you have no motivation to even, like, get up to go to the gym. So this is a good, definitely, like, first step to be like, I'm not going to the gym,

but let's put him some music and just, like, dance a little. And for our older dialers, like myself, just so, you know, start with a softer song first and then move on. You need to warm up. You can't pull a muscle by going too hard, too fast, because you're still, you're still warming up. the process of me trying to go to the gym is so difficult like I think I feel like people can relate to that like the gym is the easiest part in the afterwards it's getting there because I'll be like first of all I go okay I am going to get hungry I have to eat and then you go okay I have to digest and then you're like do have a stomach ache and then you're like oh I have to wait that out and then you're like am I hungry again and then you're like you just have to go that's why this method that's why this method it's so good now I know she's just just talking about a mood changer but it's also really good for getting you to the gym because no matter how much you don't want to go to the gym even just two minutes of this silly dancing the endorphins will rise the adrenaline will pop a little bit and suddenly it will make sense to go to the gym

no matter how much you don't want to go you're so right this can make it happens well yeah it's like when you're lying down trying to decide to go to the gym it's like at least stand up first and then decide but even if you're lying down honestly here's a crazy thing because I've done so much rehab over the last three years, even if you're lying down, just literally just do double-leg bridges while you're lying down, and even just a double-leg bridge will warm your glutes up a touch and your perception will change. Okay, Andrew Huberman.

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And a tip my friend gave me for whenever you're literally mental overload stressed out is to take a shower in the dark. I sometimes light a candle or sometimes have my phone flashlight just to make sure I can see everything around me. but your brain just kind of shuts off whenever you're focusing on trying to see everything and I leave the shower typically kind of relaxed and not so stressed out about what I was thinking about before

love the podcast thanks guys I like that one because I felt like there was like a real practical thing going on well she's very smart clearly yeah because there's like a there's a perception issue here which naturally just sort of I guess I guess it shifts your mind Look, whatever a woman in stem says, I believe. And we are, at the end of the day, like, plants, like, slightly more self-aware plants.

She's literally a woman in stem, by the way. Yeah, no, I know. You pointed it out. Sorry, I'm reiterating what you were saying. Because when you said it, it didn't hit me first, and then I was like, oh, actually, this is actually a woman in stem. No, I know. That was the first ever woman in stem I've ever met. So this is kind of a big deal.

This is a big deal. I mean, look, woman in stem recognize woman in stem. Yeah, I mean, like, let's what I like to say. That should almost be one. of those things where the whole woman in stem meme thing that you've created it's like when an actual proper woman in stem there should be like there should be like another name yeah a song goes a song needs to go off it's like i'm i'm an actual woman in stem the more you know yeah and she really came strong here but i do i'm a shower girl some people i never understood people were like oh i have to

take a shower i will shower at all hours of the day i love showering i did have this one friend who he would sit in showers for like hours. I'd be like, what are you doing? He's like sitting in the shower. And I'm like, okay. Well, funny you should mention that because on a previous iteration of what we were talking about in the past, we had people saying lie down in the shower. But actually, in this one too, we had people saying lie down in the shower.

That actually came up by numerous people. I do think lying down, sorry, it's the morning. Lying down is very grounding. Like we talk about it in yoga. I lie down all the time like a fucking cat I'll get home from a long day and I just lie down on the carpet Some people like lying down on their kitchen tile floor

Because it's kind of cold And you just feel like your body is like one with the earth And you're settled And you don't feel out of control So but then with the whole water thing I get nervous I'm gonna drown But isn't there a thing with like Isn't there a thing with like positive ions

Isn't there actually some science behind Babe you're not a woman in stem Don't even try No but how how No I think there's something about how water can change your mood. I do like the dark idea is interesting because it's like if you shut down one of your senses

you will be less overloaded and you'll be able to like take in and meditation is very like close your eyes hear what's around you feel your breath yeah plus like you're giving your brain a task like in dog training they always say like the dog will actually get calm if they know what they need to do it's almost like you're giving your brain a task

and then your brain sort of let's go of all the other shit that it's had freedom to think about. Just because I want to bring up tennis, one of my best tennis matches was when it was like, you have to warm up before your matches and this one court the light had broken and it was nighttime

and it was really dark. You could barely see the ball and we were hitting and I got into this weird zone where like I just trusted my body and I was like, I know the ball is going to be around here and I just have to feel the ball and feel my body

and I was basically like playing tennis in the dark and then I went to play the match in the light and I never played better because I felt so like in my own body and in touch with myself. Okay, Kung Fu Capriotti. Kung Fu Capriotti. That is so funny. Fucking Mr. Miyagi. You know, Capriotti was my dad's favorite tennis player.

He loved Capriotti. Oh, really? Yeah, I love Capriotti. A great story, you know, trouble, everything, the whole package. Shout out to Capriotti, wherever you are. For our Long Island people, we started at Exit 35, and we've just passed Exit 63. So just a case- Does loves directions.

It's his favorite thing. I love a sense of place on the journey. Okay, what's next? So the way that I unwinded is by watching videos of Disney characters falling. If you YouTube it, you can see characters falling off floats at parades. It is pure comedy and guaranteed to get you out of a bad mood. Also, mascots falling is a good one. There's one of a mascot falling off a dugout that I could watch all day long.

So hopefully that helps. Hannah, I'm going to see you in New Jersey in a couple of weeks. And Des, congrats on the special. It's great. Awesome. I mean, I feel like that one is just, that's just like a, that's a fun suggestion or what to watch on YouTube. Wait, I first thought she meant like Disney movies.

I'm like, how many scenes are there of them falling off floats? I was like, I've never been seen a float in Disney movie. Okay, she means like literally Disney, people dressed up as Disney characters falling off floats. Yeah, that's just a fun. That's like a fun suggestion. That's very fun. I can't wait to check it out. My videos I like to watch is obviously, well, Katz is more cute.

My thing they'll make me laugh. every time is Google babies eating lemons. Oh, yeah, I've seen that. That is very good. Because they're so, like, sweet and excited, and they put it in their mouth, and then they have these, like, long reactions of their body being like, what the fuck is that? And they make the funniest faces.

The parents are dying. I actually, for a while, I was following kids getting hurt, and there was some funny videos, but then kids getting hurt said, oh, you like kids getting hurt. You'll also like adults getting hurt. But adults getting hurt, I had to get rid of it because it was like. Triggering. No, because it was really bad. Like, you know, like kids getting hurt, it's kind of cute.

Like, you know, you like fall down the slide. Whereas, like, adults getting hurt. It was like, oh, my God, I think that guy just had a compound fracture. Like, it really was, like, disturbing. You're like, how many ACLs just go torn? Yeah, yeah. By the way, you know, you buy a new car. You get a car and then suddenly you realize, like, so many versions of your car out in the road.

Like, when you tell your ACL, you realize it, like, half the world is torn their ACL. Like, everybody I mentioned it to is like, oh, I told my ACL. Oh, my husband just had surgery. Wow. Anyway, go ahead. Also, I love all the love. of the dialers watching the special that I executively produced. Oh, yeah, I really

appreciate it. I mean, shout out. Your videos are going viral and people are loving it, so thank goodness. There's numerous people that have no idea what's going on in the comments that are like, why is everyone going on about the production? It's very funny. Let's get a few more while we're still on the road. I have an 18-month-old daughter, and how

I unwind is whenever I can get out of the house, I go and I get fast food, and I eat it in my car and I listen to a podcast and it is my favorite thing to do it helps me relax and get out of the house and get away from my little monster to be honest love you guys okay car eating is like a real phenomenon yeah I mean I don't know how much people can relate to this but for me I was like wow I so now this is a little serious but like when my mother was sick in the hospital so you know I would like have to deal with all you know this hospital stuff and it was so stressful and then I'd finally be getting home and I would go to Taco Bell on the corner of Utopia Parkway

and northern boulevard and I would I wouldn't take it home I would eat it in the car and it was just so I don't know why it's so calm do you know what I hate when you have a good meal that's ruined because people are talking to you or watching you eat like there's nothing like eating alone in a car The solitude, man. I have to say, though, I've actually never done it because I don't drive and I live in New York City. So when I eat, I'm always like the passenger

and I'm also helping the driver eat so I have to kind of manage that. But all my like L.A. friends, that's like their thing. They go, they pick up some in and out. They go to Air One, spend weight with too much money and then they sit there. And there's a peacefulness. I hate when you have a meal, you're so excited to eat

and like someone, like you have a meeting or something. You have to be on a Zoom can't fucking, like, really indulge all your senses. You notice it's like you can put all your senses into enjoying the experience. Yeah. And to all the parents out there, there has to be some identification because I don't have kids, but any of my friends that had kids, my brother, there was a lot of using the car as an escape. That's funny.

It's like literally, like, it's like your quiet room. Yeah. I thought you were going to say also that kids will want to, like, have some of your food. my dad has never let me live down when I was little I think I must have been like seven we were in Long Island and we went to some like fish restaurant and he ordered a lobster and I ordered flounder

and I remember looking at his food and being like that's way fucking better than what I got and I must have said out loud like Dad can I I want can I have your lobster and I think in that moment I don't know how he was like sure you can have my lobster and we switched and then he

Never let me forget to this day. He goes, remember when I gave you my fucking lobster? And I'm like, you should have just said, no, you stupid kid. You can't have my lobster. You should have just taking the lobster to the car. Yeah, eating the lobster in the car. That's what you get. Oh, God.

Shake and bake. Anyway, shout out, Dad. You're an amazing dad, but you don't let me live things down. Hey, Hannah. Hey, Dez. My way to relax, that's a little unique, is I play Fetra's, my dog so I know that sounds kind of normal but I never really trained my dog how to properly play fetch so basically I will throw a ball he'll go get it wrestle with it drop it about

100 yards from me then I'll go get the ball and then I'll throw it and we'll continue this cycle so we're both kind of playing fetch with each other it's a good way to get some steps in and spend time with my dog and then after that we'll come inside snuggle in bed and watch some housewives scream at each other because that really you know calms the nerves It's like, like, the dog is like, hey, I like going to chase this ball. How about you do it too? Why the fuck am I doing it? Yeah.

Meet me halfway. Me, me halfway. I just thought it was so cool. I was like, I've never thought of the concept that instead of thinking my dog doesn't know how to play fetch, it's like we're playing fetch with each other. I think the dog's like, I think my human needs to play some fetch right now. Yeah, my human needs some steps. I, I, I think he gets three meals a day. How come I only get fucking one?

I was always jealous of like. dogs on Instagram that were good at playing fetch because I feel like every dog I've ever had is like you have to pry it out of their mouth and you're like if I lose a finger you have to risk your hand is it worth losing a finger for this game that I don't even and then the ball is so slimy and you're like this is disgusting and then he's like rolling around and poop and you're like why did we do this like I was comfortable inside it is funny that she does mention I do think having a pet lie on you definitely with cats there's like statistics that show that like cuddling with your cat lowers your blood pressure and cats can they purr so it creates this like real calmness and i think

they like feeling your heartbeat i think you like feeling their heartbeat i think dogs it's similar um so like if you're look go to southampton animal shelter adopt a cat adopt a dog shout out to some shelter i do think like my cat saved my life i know i'm getting dramatic but like she did during hardest times i literally would cuddle with butter and watch vanderpump rules back in the day and i would forget all my problems because you're invested in these people's like reality tv is like high drama stakes right so like you're upset about you know you messed up something at work and then you go in and you're like this girl fucked her husband's whatever who just went bankrupt who's now getting canceled online and you're like okay i could like

forget my shit for a second first time caller on literally any type of podcast so i'm a little nervous but excited to possibly hear my voice um one thing that i really love to do to unwind and i know it's bad because you're not supposed to do it but um cleaning my ears with cue tips i don't know what it is it just sends this whole sensation through my thought and i just feel all warm and cozy and it just feels really great. Look, I heal my inner child when I use a Q-Tip. You're a big fan of a Q-Tip. I can't, it doesn't calm me.

It gives me anxiety because I literally always think I'm about to pop my eardrum. Yeah, there was one episode of Girls, but you guys, if you haven't watched Girls HBO from back in the day, you have to. It's so fucking good. Where she did that? And it was pretty traumatizing. I'm not like a Q-tip user. Like, I'm not like, I, where's my Q-tips?

But if I see a Q-tip, I'm using it. Does that make sense? in my life. Yeah, like when I'm at a hotel. Yeah. And I see a Q-tip. Yeah, or like a fancy gym, you know, like a fancy gym that has like Q-tips and everything. I say, that's going in my fucking ear drum.

I do have to say, not to get too graphic, I did see some blood the other night. I think I went too far, but it heals really quick. Are you kidding me? It was like a little bit of blood. And I was like, hmm, that's weird. It didn't feel like I did anything wrong. It felt fucking good. And I'm like.

But I got, I bought the, like, the ear irrigator, the electric one. And that was fun for a while. That was fun. So I knew you'd like that one because you're a big Q-tipper. Yeah, you put, and obviously you don't want to go too deep, but, oh, ooh, I'm getting, like, worked up just talking about it. I love that shit. Something that absolutely always works without fail is masturbating. If you're stressed out in your head, anxious, you know, excited, masturbating.

it's always always a great way to chill out I love this because I feel like men figured this out and girls like didn't know because it was always so attached to like you're a little slut where it's like what if it's just good for your mental health I mean we've talked about it a lot but it had to be left in because after smoking weed masturbation

was the second most mentioned thing my thing is sometimes if I'm really stressed like I'm not horny like I'm too worried about like I always joke for me to orgasm I have to have like zero emails on my phone like I need to be in a place where I can like enjoy

um being turned on where like I I'm not very good of compartmentalizing compartmentalizing yeah but I do think that if you just decide like even though I'm not horny I'm going to do it like you will actually Do you think guys do it to de-stress?

I mean I think there are times where you just do it to just like I don't know, take away the, scratch and itch. Yeah, the deep desire that's growing within you. Back when I was younger and I would be like working some shitty job, you know, like some summer job or some shit, I would, I would, you know, like on a bathroom break, I would do it just as a kind of way of like, isn't this great? You know, I'm getting paid, but actually I'm doing this.

I'm like, I got paid $10 to jerk off just now. Yeah, yeah, but like it would change it. Like it was, you know, you can make more funny, more money doing that on OnlyFans. Yeah, but that didn't exist. this was pre-internet let alone fucking let alone only fans this was this was before hotmail that is such a dude thing to be like I'm a drool up to do word just to be like ha ha ha it wasn't even like a ha it was more just like this is a fun thing to do rather than be working you know what I mean it wasn't like a screw in the system I also feel like for women maybe we need a little more like situational stuff like I can't just do it standing up oh yeah I guess yeah although you know I mean I could probably probably could I could but like it's not ideal it's not what i'm then like you get nervous someone's going to like walk in i don't know it depends if you have roommates and shit but no yeah this is very at the end of the day these are all

things that change your brain perspective of whatever shit's going on a mood changer mental health moment whatever you're feeling in that moment whatever stress whatever anxiety it doesn't last forever and that's a fucking fact a hundred percent man okay last one last one hey hannah and des so you know call they have horse girls. Well, I guess you can call me an ass girl because I have a donkey and she has very large ears. So she listens to all my troubles as I'm scratching her beautiful forehead. And then she lays her giant head on top of me, which forces me to relax because I can't breathe. So really a 10 out of 10 experience, highly recommended donkey for your troubles. Wait, I want a donkey. Now, I know that this is not like a very mainstream thing, but oddly enough, I completely identify with this because when I was making the TV series, I'm an ass guy.

When I was making the series about learning the Irish language, I lived in Connemara, and they had two donkeys. And like, I was on there on my own. Like, out there on my own, I had a lot of spare time. And sometimes I would go down and I would hang with the donkeys. are so calming and there's actually a picture of me if you're bored one day you can google it i used to like lay down the donkey would put his head across the wall and i would rest my head against the donkey's neck and we would just chill there are donkeys like different than horses like are they more calming in a way donkeys are calm i mean you don't want to get kicked by one but i had a lot of there's something

about donkeys like you feel like i i know it's an illusion but you feel like you're connected with them okay can we get a donkey no i I don't even think you're allowed to have a donkey in New York. No, actually my only memory of donkeys is for, like, one of my birthdays is, I guess, like, I wanted a horse or something, and there's, like, no way you could get a horse in New York. So there was, like, a dwarf donkey that was, like, around that let all the, like, two-year-olds sit on this donkey.

And it was, there's a photo of me, like, in-park slope on a city block on a donkey. Really? Yeah. And it was, like, the best birthday ever. But we also went to the donkey. sanctuary in Aruba we did oh my god they're so cute they're so cute they're like eating out your hand I want a donkey yeah that's okay well now I'm like upset because I don't have a donkey Danny can we get a donkey can we get a donkey please um all right okay you guys we're also

gonna add some extras that we loved at the end so stay tuned and leave us a review if you're enjoying the pod I'm gonna be in Chicago Zanee's Rosemont and Zanee's Old Town of the first week end of May, which will actually be the next time I'm on stage. Oh, geez. Exciting. I actually just announced Jacksonville, I think Detroit. But Saginaw and Gary, I'm coming through.

They're like really fun. The Gary one is a fun casino. Come through. You guys, I feel so, I feel like I just went to a spa. I have cucumbers on my eyes. I feel amazing. Ready to start the day. definitely use these methods if you feel that they resonated with you at all i love you guys

thanks for calling in love the show love you too i found giggly squad last year bench at all would love if you guys recorded like nine days a week um my unique way to de-stress is to scream in the car as loud as i can so i'm a social worker with like elementary middle school high school students. And I always feel like they're cooler than me because they are. But also sometimes the job is just really hard and you feel helpless. So I just scream in the car as loud as I can. I encourage my clients to do this if they're alone in the car. I tell all of my coworkers to scream in the car. It's really been helpful. Also, this is featuring my cat's meows. Hi, all. The way that I like to de-stress it is kind of unique slash sociopathic is I like to

scorekeep baseball games, meaning I like to go to a baseball game and sit there and talk to no one and use a legitimate scorebook to keep track of all of the plays, the strikes, the outs, etc. My dad taught me how to do that when I was really young. He was a baseball coach for a really long time. So for some reason, I find that to be really de-stressing now. which is ironic because when my dad was a coach and my brother was playing in college, I used to get so, so nervous. I would, like, want to go to the bathroom and throw up. But fast forward to now, I find it oddly relaxing, just keeping all of these stats and my mind on the game. Um, so yeah, and sorry about your ACL does. I tore my ACL two years ago and it'll get a lot worse before it gets

better. Okay, bye. Hi, Hannah and does. So when I need to unwind, I do what's called a TikTok nap, and it's basically just me scrolling on TikTok, but I use it in replace of a nap because I suck at napping, because we all know as soon as I close my eyes, I'm planning what time I need to wake up for the entire next year. So instead of a nap, I lay in my bed and just scroll on TikTok for an unhealthy amount of time. And I've noticed that when I get off a TikTok, I actually feel like I just woke up from a nap because my brain, has shut off for a sufficient amount of time and I feel refreshed and like I can move on with my day. My favorite way to de-stress is doing an adult coloring book. I'm an accountant and I'm not very

creative but having really high-quality colored pencils and using these intricate designs really is so calming and it's great to do by the water on the beach while watching a show that you don't really care about. Yeah, so it's really great. It's funny, though, because people, when I tell them I do adult coloring books, they think it's something pornographic that I'm coloring, but it's just very intricate. Hi, Hannah and Des. Oh my gosh, first time calling in because I never see the prompts when they're posted. A weird thing that I like to do to, like, de-stress is build puzzles. I guess I'm in, like, my grandma era right now. I feel super self-conscious about it because I feel like I don't know anybody else my age in their 20s that builds puzzles, but I love it.

It's like $25 a puzzle. I never want to rebuild the same puzzle. I always have to like hog the entire dining room table. Like I wish I just wanted to like have a glass of wine to unwind, but no, I wanted to like put together a thousand pieces. I don't know why. I don't know how it started, but always calms me down. Hey,