Berner Phone - Berner Phone #32: Conquering Anxiety

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

This week the dialers are sharing their secrets to beating anxiety. As always they are hilarious, relatable, and wise. rocketmoney.com/BERNERPHONE mintmobile.com/berner  20% off at honeylove.com/BERN  25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN 

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Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hi, my little dialers. Des and I are back. I mean, he's not back yet. He's still across the pond in Ireland. Seven days since surgery did my first physio session today.

His ACL is getting better. I know that that's why you guys are trying to listen to the pod to get an update on Dez's tear tendons. Baby steps. Baby steps. We're all growing and learning and healing. We have a fun little episode today. Yeah.

Are we going to talk about what inspired it or we not? Well, I already hit on it on Giggly Squad that just came out. But I have my Netflix special on TV. two weeks. And I think that the gravity of the event finally hit me. And I had a little bit of an anxiety attack this weekend. And I was joking because I feel like I either am really cool, calm, confident as a cucumber or I'm having like a complete breakdown. And I was telling Des about it. And Des was like, you know what? Let's see what the little dialers have to say. Yeah. But I just wanted to know what in general, you know, how they deal with like, you know, nervous situations, you know,

big events coming up. I wasn't, I wasn't, we didn't put it out like, what do you think about me having to fucking break down before my Netflix special? Yeah, we didn't tell you guys the details of the motives behind it, but I'm interested to see. But hey, I mean, obviously this isn't going to be 20 messages of people saying cry, but like a lot of people were like cry so you should feel you you should be reassured that your reaction to the stimuli of this stress was pretty common certainly amongst the little dialers

so don't feel bad well i hold the little dialers very close to my heart we actually feel emotions at the same time we all had a rough weekend everyone was worried about me because i posted an inspirational quote on Sunday night and they started getting messages they're like all good over there and I was like actually no yeah but you know here's the reality which is what I said to you is that like this is literally just being a stand-up comedian like stand-up comedian is just high stress all the time I people say to me like what's it like being a stand-up comedian I say it's like the first day on the job every time you go to work you know it because wow everything is like out of your control and

a lot of people that messaged in a lot of them talked about the fact that you're not in control and that's like a trigger and the reality is that like there's a lot of uh what we do that is out of our control you know you don't know how the crowd's going to react you don't know like how the venue's going to feel um you know it's just it's so there's so many variables so it is very unsettling and you know public speaking is actually listed in like the number one fear for a lot of people, and we do face that every time we go to work. No, I'm not saying it's like, it's like torture, but what I am saying is like, it's only natural that every now and then the cortisol and the adrenaline and it hits you.

It's going to build up. It's going to hit you. So it's very normal, you know? Yeah, and with comedy, it's funny, the first day of work example, sometimes you feel like you're only as good as like your last set. So sometimes you'll have a set that's like average and you're like, fuck. And then you do another set after it that night and you're great. And you're like, I'm amazing.

And then you do another set and doesn't go well. And you're like, I'm horrible. There's a serious lack of consistency of emotion in stand-up comedy. Yes, it's a roller coaster. Every comedian goes through a lot of ups and downs in terms of their belief in themselves. And it's very fickle and very reliant on the most recent experience. I actually want to read the quote that I posted that made everyone be like, well she's not doing okay um because it it was a really powerful quote that spoke to me in that

moment i said the portal to every next level is through parts of yourself that you avoid yeah i mean i actually i didn't think that quote was actually that relevant to your situation i think it's a very good quote but i was surprised you posted that one i felt like like the netflix special is definitely a next level in my career and sometimes when you're doing that demons or insecurities that you thought you had dealt with sometimes merge their heads and it's like a test in a way but um i was walking today through the city and i was thinking about stuff and i had this like i was trying to be not like indulging in the anxious thoughts but like reflecting little and i had this deep thought where i was like

what if you let your dreams come true and that was the moment I had with myself yeah it was pretty powerful what if you allowed it to happen what if you let your dreams come true because there's this like fear of not like it's self-sabotage but this fear of like be careful what you wish for and like when you actually can get it are you physically and mentally capable of being ready and accepting it um so I thought of that just saying to yourself like Like, what if you let your dreams come true? And I got this, like, interesting calmness over my body a little bit. Like, it's not that big of a deal.

You're just things you want made happen. I was actually going to play an intro one, but instead of just playing an intro one. I love radio DJ Des. Oh, yeah. So let's play this because it's very relevant to sort of a perception. Think of this in relation to the perception of the challenge. Hi Hannah and does. I'm a Canadian giggler and dialer. I love you both. Something that I wanted to share is something that I've learned from therapy. When I'm feeling anxious, I take that energy and just tell myself that I'm excited instead. So anxiety is our body's way of warning us of danger. And realistically, if I'm entering a new situation or an uncomfortable situation, I'm not normally in real danger. So if I'm going out with a group of people that I don't know too well or if I'm meeting new people, that

causes a lot of anxiety. But instead, I tell myself that I'm excited because there's potential for me to have fun and make new friends. Or if it's a test or a presentation or something, I've a recent graduate from university. So if it was some sort of assessment, I would just tell myself, well, I'm excited for this to be over. I care about this assessment. So that's why I feel anxious. Sorry, but what I liked about that is that you take this feeling of nerves and, you know, and, you know, uh, trepidation and you say, this is excitement. And it's actually a nice way to frame what's going on, which, you know, it's actually also

partially true. It's not a trick. It's partially true. And anxiety is energy that's like stored in your body. I did this thing, um, yesterday with a therapist where I was pushing, against a wall and physically pushing against the wall was like releasing frustration and energy that the anxiety was like almost feeling like stuck inside me. So it's so interesting how it's what you do with that pent up energy. And a lot of the time it is important that you have a little

bit of anxiety before you're performing or a test. But it is interesting too. I definitely find my most anxious when I'm feeling like I'm going to be judged or I'm going to be tested. Like, I can't get my driver's license because I'm like, I don't want him to judge my driving. So her being like, oh, I'm excited for for this to be over or trying to just be excited about, I'm excited for this learning experience. But yeah, framing your perspective is fucking huge. So can I just, can I play what I wanted to play as a sort of a setting? let's set the scene here for what's going on.

Okay, yes. This is not a tip. This is basically an explanation for what's going on here. Hi, Hannah, and does. I don't know if this one is kind of a joke because do people seriously have tricks for dealing with anxiety? Like, my trick is I'm throwing up.

My trick is I'm almost going to die. And then the event just happens, and I wonder why I was so dramatic about it. So I'm really curious to hear what other tricks there are Because like I say I'm just throwing up That is the funniest thing Welcome to the episode

Oh my god That is honestly Puking probably feels fucking good for a second Didn't you tell One of my family members once Who was nervous about something just to take a shit Oh no That's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a

guarantee that you're going to you're going to have to but that's like that's that's very much because because originally actually I wanted this to be about like how you deal with like a high pressure situation right so that's that's very much to do with high pressure situation you're about to perform you're about to run a race you're about to play a really important match you're going to want to take a shit so that's just like that's just science man the the I do believe the nerves helps the peristalus? Is that the action that's happening in your intestines? Yeah, if you want some flow in the ocean,

I always say, like, make yourself nervous about something. I used to have diarrhea before every single tennis match, and I felt light as a feather on that tennis court. There are multiple comics who I know who, like, have to poop before they go on stage. Including your husband. Including you. Yeah.

My thing is I, like, don't like a lot of comics. Oh, the food, it's weird, because if you eat beforehand and everyone gets scared, you're going to have to, like, get a stomachache on stage. But what's crazy about the actual event is you get this, like, adrenaline that kind of, like, keeps you safe during it where, like, everything sucks in. You get this high. But before the adrenaline, it's all, like, nerves.

And it's so funny that the girl was like, you puke, the event happens, and then you laugh about it. And you repeat. Exactly. One thing also I realized, because obviously it's nice to not be nervous and be confident. But in those times that you are nervous, especially public speaking, people like can't tell. Like obviously your hands can shake and your voice can shake.

But overall, people can't see the paralyzingness going on in your brain. All right. I'm not trying to give up your spot about what happened. This is to ease your mind. Thank you so much for asking this question. I'm so glad you asked in high pressure, highly anxious situation. My go-to is to crack under the pressure, have a full-on mental breakdown and freak out, cry my eyes out for a few hours, hyperventilate for maybe an hour of that. And then afterwards, I get up off the floor, wipe my face off with my shirt, and do the task.

Thanks for asking. Okay. Wait, this is so important because I really, when this is. happened to me, I felt really alone and I felt like everyone else is just casually dealing with high pressure situations with ease. That's like my biggest psychosis. Whenever anything happens to me, I think what I'm going through is like the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone. And I think that's why I like watching cult murder documentaries because I'm like, at least I didn't join a murderous cult today. And then I go to sleep. Trust me, you're not on your own. Like that, that's, that's one. But I feel like people don't talk about it enough because I guess it's embarrassing.

But you don't hear people saying like, oh yeah, I had a full mental breakdown and cried. Like that's, it still has a stigma that it's for crazy people. Yeah. And listen, this is why this is a therapeutic episode. It's giving burning in hell. Well, hey, I mean, at the end of the day, this is just an evolution, you know? It wasn't a total departure. This is what happens when I switched away from burning in hell.

My mental health deteriorated. all right let's go for some uh let's go for some practical ones uh here we go how i deal with high pressure situations or anxiety is i picture the person i hate in the same situation as me and then i have to do it better than them or them just next to me and i just have to prove that i'm really good at it it's like when i know someone's watching me especially someone i don't like I have to be really good at it. So I just forced myself to do it. Yeah, so turn it into a competitive situation in your mind.

I thought that was very interesting. I do like the games that people play mentally because you know your brain is playing tricks on you. So it's like play tricks back at it. Yeah, that is interesting. Here's a funny story for you. Hey, Hannah and Des. Love you both. Hannah, I'm so obsessed with you, obviously.

I just went to Cincinnati to see you with my best friend to celebrate my 35th birthday, and it was phenomenal, outstanding. no notes. But this is how I deal with high stress anxiety situations. So yesterday I went to Marshalls with my 16-month-old son and at checkout, he starts having a full meltdown. There's a bunch of people behind us. I'm freaking out. And then I remember I got my nails done. So I looked down on my nails and I'm like, oh, they're so pretty. And I just fully ignore his meltdown and just keep looking at my nails. And eventually he just stops freaking out, toddles over to me,

says, mama up, and we go about our merry way. So I guess to deal with high stress, anxiety situations, just like take care of yourself and in the moment, look at things that make you happy. Remember the things that make you happy. So yeah, thanks. That's it. Well, you know, I just, you're always going on about your nails.

And I never thought that it was actually good for your mental health. Well, they do say like a messy room can sometimes call. cause a messy mind and then right now my nails have grown out by like an inch so maybe my messy nails are correlated to a messy brain but you know what this reminded me of one of my favorite quotes ever i don't know who it said it but it's even when it's raining the hoop is always there are you familiar with this quote the hoop it's a basketball club okay so it's basically saying that even when it's horrible out you just can't see it but the hoop is there like there is beauty in horribleness there are there are still opportunities when

it's bad you just are having trouble seeing it it's like her she could have focused on the baby crying but she focused on something that brought her joy i actually petting my cat has like saved my life multiple times a lot of cat petting came through no it's because i'm like going through it and then butter sat like on my chest and I like smelled her fur and it has such a familiar beautiful smell and in that moment I just kind of felt safe with her and she's purring and it's like even if I fuck up everything at least my cat loves me I I just I I I I'm not I'm not loving the the negative insinuations in that statement to be honest I like I like the Comfort, but I don't like the negative insinuation within the comfort, you know?

I was just saying, no matter what happens in life, I have butter. For the natural lifespan of a cat. I have her for 14 years, maybe 15. Then I have to get a new cat. I liked your quote, though. Tell me your grandfather was a basketball coach without telling me your grandfather was a basketball coach. Every single inspirational quote I have is about defense. Okay, so this came of a lot.

Hi, Hannah and Zez. I am not a woman in STEM, but I do have a trick for managing anxiety that is apparently rooted in science per one of my best friends. If you're experiencing symptoms of anxiety, step into a cold shower for one to two minutes. And it's supposed to reset your fight or flight system. And I'm not sure if it really is scientific or not. but it has worked for me in the past so hopefully it'll work for anyone who tries it out but love you both thanks for making great pod a lot of stuff about cold you know i did this last night what did you do at the end of my shower i did 60 seconds in cold water right well apparently it's very effective and

it's clearly on the internet because a lot of people use this they also say squeeze ice in your hand or put ice on your neck or ice on your temple. Or ice on your wrists, I've heard before. Yeah, it seems to be some sort of reset. Also, it's becoming very trendy to do cold plunges and fancy gyms. Of course we know about the cold plunges, yeah. All the influencer girls are doing these cold plunges. And for me, that's what we did in college after, like, getting our ass beat in a workout.

We were forced, like, forced to do the ice bath. crying and we'd be yelling at the freshman get in there where these influences are like I'm doing a cold plunge I'm like what hot girl workout did you do that you need a cold plunge but now I realize it is an emotional type thing well you know the truth is that the only real science behind the cold plunges is that it definitely improves your mood like it definitely it gives you like a dopamine hit but a lot of the other a lot of the other promises around cold plunges have not been questionable well they haven't been scientifically proven. I'm not going to say that they're good or bad, but what I am saying

is that a lot of the things that are being promised from the cold plunge don't hold up to scientific scrutiny. However, as a big fan of a cold plunge, particularly a swim in the freezing cold ocean, I will say that it is without doubt a positive mood changer. And there is 100% unless you're old or, you know, sort of like maybe potentially about to have a heart attack, There's not really any negatives to having a cold plunge. But I do think that it's a trend that will pass. For example, sports people don't take cold plunges anymore because when you were in college, that was peak cold plunge post-workout time, but the science never added up.

And you know, they don't really do that anymore. Really? Yeah. So the whole... Because they were treating it like you're icing your whole body. We'd have to stay for 10 minutes in these cold ice baths. Yes. And it was torture, and then I went to University of Wisconsin, so we'd then have to, like, change our clothes and go outside with, like, wet hair.

Like, I got pneumonia every three days. It was all the rage. It was all the rage. Also, we would drink chocolate milk after our workouts. Chocolate milk? It was, like, protein. Like, it was recommended. Oh, but surely it was a protein shake? No, it was straight up chocolate milk.

Really? I gained, like, 20 pounds ago. Wow. And for you, forget it. No wonder you had diarrhea before every tennis match. Yeah, because I was literally funneling chocolate milk. But, you know, it is such a good thing to go, oh, there are small actions I can take that potentially could ease my suffering a little bit. And a cold shower will always be one.

Very hard to do. But you never, as I always say, Hannah, you never feel worse getting out of the ocean or getting out of a cold shower. At the moment, it's shocking, but you always feel better. I was about to bring that up because we were with all your friends and you took them all for a cold plunge and one of them didn't want to do it and you were like, you'll never feel worse after and he's like, but I felt better before.

What? He said, but I felt better before I jumped in the ocean. So do that girl math. Yeah, but I mean, it's a fact that you always feel. It's exhilarating, you know? I do also think that once you can also just label it as anxiety and not your own like conscious trying to send you important messages once you can label it as anxiety

then start using tools like you're already past like the hardest part i feel like yeah so once you're getting the tools for yourself good for you and also it's very important to point out that obviously these days people love saying the word anxiety and of course then anxiety has this connotation with like a condition but a lot of it is just like normal human responses to stimuli, you know? Yeah. Which I think it's important to get into your head also that like... Just like chemical reactions happening.

You know, it doesn't always have to be considered like I really suffer from. I'm not saying that people don't suffer from that. But at the same time, sometimes it is just a very normal reaction to a stressful situation and that's okay. Yes, you're being human. Sometimes a small thing can make a big difference in your life, like smiling at a stranger. or maybe taking a quick nap or maybe discovering hip hop yoga regardless small actions can have big benefits especially over time i also find when i try to make a huge health change nothing works but if you do a little bit each day then you really see improvement and that's why i love seed seed's ds zero one daily symbiotic benefits your gut skin and heart health in just two little capsules a day i can do that i can do that i can can do two little capsules day. I learned that great health starts in my gut, and I don't think I've

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anxiety and stressful situations, I sing pit bull in my head because you can't be mad thinking about a bald man with sunglasses. Mainly hotel, motel, holiday inn. I don't know the name of the song, but literally in your head for 30 seconds, just sing it on repeat, do a little dance, and it'll fix everything um i'm also a big fan of if you're alone go punch a pillow if you're not alone and there's no pillows around you um lock yourself in a room and just like scream without screaming you know like that and it helps just don't let anybody see you because you might like crazy okay i love y'all wow very helpful mr 305 i really appreciated her her scream with that screaming yeah that was done pretty well great performance great technique what's the pit bull i'm actually

not familiar with the pit bull so so pit bull is um a rapper from miami who has great songs he's he's bald and wears sunglasses and he goes i'm at the hotel motel holiday inn i'm at the hotel hotel it's very upbeat it's very fun i like to sing mr 305 all the time what what song was she suggesting the one I was singing Hotel Motel I think I don't know They all blend together But for my bachelorette

I really wanted everyone to dress up as pit bull And get I saw it on TikTok People would wear bald caps And And dress up as pit bull And Paige Vitoed it

Oh Well Yeah so That would have been fun She didn't want to have an anxiety Free Bachelorette It's a known It's a known anxiety relief

To dress up as pit bull Yeah, we all would have had a great time There's no problems I do think playing music can help What's your anxiety release song Oh god Oh god, I don't know What's yours

Give me the loot by Biggie Smalls Which you know, I mean It's a lot of violence in it But it helps me From the barretta Put another hole in your sweater The money getter You know it's just very aggressive

Rolex swatches And colorful swatches You know it's just It's got like a, it just, you let everything go, you know. Do you want to hear what mine is? Yeah, go ahead. Dirt off your shoulder by Jay-Z. D-da-da-d-d-da-ton-ton-da-thum-ton-that-da-thum-thed-thed-thed-dun-thed-thed-thed-thed up your shoulder.

Exactly, that's like literally anxiety right off your shoulder. And isn't it funny that we pick two guys from Bed-Stuy? Just like that. Bedford Stuyvesant, relieving our anxiety. anxiety. We're even, we're even, we're even, we're even, we're even, we're even, we're even, we're even, we're even, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, we're, the, the, I can't do. I was gonna do it. I was gonna try to do it jasy. I was like, I don't do jasy. He goes, yeah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, yeah, your boy, your boy got anxiety. What's up with your boy? I don't claim to do it, Jay-Z.

All right, here we go. Here's a nice practical one. Hi, Hannah, Giggler here. Also, hi, Des. Love you both. I guess this is not really, like, a trick to dealing with pressure situations. But I work in, like, a pretty high-intensity job now,

and I was once a professional athlete, and I would just always, like, make bets with myself for, like, the sweet treat I could get. Because if I didn't want to do anything, I always had to, like, entice myself with a reward of a sweet treat. So, like, depending on how hard the task was, like, the bigger, the sweet treat. Yeah, so that's how I deal with things. I'm very sweet treat motivated. I hope you'll have a great day.

So she treats herself like a Labradoodle. Yeah, or like an infant, you know, like a child. Like if you do this, then we'll go to Hagandah's. It's interesting. She clearly was a very, very high athlete, but it is, again, challenging your brain to instead be like, oh, I don't want to do this to, oh, if I do this, good things will happen. Yeah, I'm going to be able to, I'm going to allow myself to eat a full pint of Cherry Garcia, you know, I think that's nice. But then, but here's the question is, would it then be negative to say, but if you lose, then you're going to have to eat? you know, liver, you know, is it negative then to say, it's a little masochistic.

Yeah, it's a little punishing. Then, then it's like a negative motivation. So you need like a positive, you need a positive reinforcement. But it is interesting. Some people do better with negative reinforcement. Some people do better with positive reinforcement. Some people do better if you just leave them alone. I mean, that's part of like coaches. There's so many different methods for getting an athlete to perform their best. And a lot of people are very different. Like, I did not need negative reinforcement. Like, I was mean enough. to myself that when the coach would do it I'd be like yeah I know where I needed someone to be like chill and offset my own negativity um so it's like you knowing what you need so what what's your

sweet treat that you're thinking about for your for a job well done um me you know what I never reward myself I never reward myself really and I should like I'm I'm not very good at stopping and like celebrating. I'm always like kind of on to the next thing. Okay, so what's your sweet treat? My sweet treat honestly is after my special. I get to spend like five days with Lois, my cousin, and I'm like, I mean, sorry, my nephew. Your niece. I don't know who this girl is clearly. No, I get to spend five days with her and that's going to be really, really fun. But that's happening though anyway. So that's different. I know. That's not what I, you know. I know. No, like. Like, what are you, well, yeah, because she's saying this, this is a hypothetical.

What's you, what are you picking as a sweet treat? And if you use this girl's tip. I'm going to get another kitten. No. That's not. The sweet treat can't negatively affect anybody else's life. Okay. This, it's, what part of, what part of sweet treat?

Can we pick a sweet treat that doesn't have like a 15 year responsibility? You know I'm a savory person. I want cheeseburger I want cheeseburger Nice cheeseburger Cheeseburger with fries With fries medium Done

Nice And I like to put The fries in mayonnaise But you're going to be in Philly For your Netflix special Maybe you treat yourself To a Philly cheese steak I don't know if those things are safe

Really The hoogies You want a hoagie Oh yeah Actually I've had it before Some of them like They put so much stuff in it Like you could die

You could die All right, here we go. You have to breathe and through your nose out through your mouth. Hi, Hedda. Hi, Des. I think I'm qualified to answer this prompt because when I started my big girl corporate job, I stressed myself out so much that I developed alopecia and started losing like chunks of my hair. So I went to therapy and I got this therapist named Tammy and she was from Eastern Europe and she was just so mean to me.

And basically we would dissect every situation like throughout the week between sessions that made me anxious. And she'd be like, well, why does it matter? Why does this person's opinion matter? And she just made me like feel bad about being anxious. And now whenever I'm in like a stressful situation, I just have Tammy in the back of my head, like questioning everything. And I've basically realized that nothing at my job is like life or death. And it's not as high stakes as I make it out to be and I don't need to be stressed out. This probably doesn't apply if you're like a doctor.

But it applies to me. And it's really helped. and I've grown on my hair back now. So, yeah, hope that helps someone. Thanks. Bye. There's nothing like an Eastern European to teach you to how to have no emotion. I have to say a lot of Eastern Europeans will do like painful beauty treatments.

Like they're good at like waxing or like lasering. And you'll, they'll never, I feel like other women will be like, let me know if you need a break where the Russians or the Ukrainians are like, this is going to hurt. Suck it up. And you're like, okay. Okay, Stefania. I apologize in advance for all the sweeping generalizations here about Eastern Europeans, but there's an abruptness to them that, you know, cuts through the bullshit like no other group of people, I have to say. Yeah, they're definitely no bullshit.

They're not going to empathize with you if it's stupid. Also, like, they're really going to be like suck it up and pain. They're not afraid of pain. they'd be great dominatrix all of them I but this is it is interesting I'm kind of fascinated by how the physical and mental is so connected

because obviously she wasn't trying to lose her hair and she wasn't deliberately doing things to lose her hair and that was just like her body's response to let her know like there's an equilibrium problem here and I'm sorry that the therapist was mean to you but I guess she was giving you that tough love to really shake to shake out

that belief that these things mattered. That's why I do love calling people sometimes and just being like, this is the thought I had. And I know they're going to be like, that makes no sense and no one cares. And I'm able to like actually receive it and be like, no, you're so right. Yeah. And a problem share is a problem half. I mean, it's always good to trust in a confidant about these things because, you know, the brain is your enemy, particularly when it comes to anxiety. And a lot of these thoughts can really run riot and by talking to somebody it really can stop the spread of the virus of anxious thinking i think it's really important but there's also a moment where you kind of know that you've

you've talked enough about it and it's time to move on so you have to know like when you because if you keep it inside the secret becomes like this naughty thing that you're holding on to and it becomes like bigger but once you let it out like if you journal it or you tell someone it becomes smaller but then it's also like all this is fucked up but sometimes the best way to like get over trauma is to like get a new trauma no or like it's not get new trauma but it's like you know the best way to get over like someone that you're dating is like to date someone new I just feel like your brain it's don't harp on things for too long if that it was what I'm trying to say right well I believe funnily enough a TikTok came up

which was a Joe Rogan interview which I don't go to Joe Rogan interviews for a lot of my information but there was a I think a psychotherapist on somebody in the field of psychology and they were talking about rumination and the problem of

you know sort of constantly talking about a problem can actually cause it to get bigger which I hadn't really heard before now I don't really I need to look into that more but it was actually the first time where I heard somebody say that there comes a time where if you're constantly sort of talking about a problem that actually talking about it can stop being helpful. So I'm not saying I know what this is about, but I am saying that it was something interesting

that I wanted to look at more. And maybe people can message us if they actually know what that's about. No, rumination is fascinating. And then sometimes I would argue if there's other things going in your life, you're like you can put it all into one thing like you're really stressed about your job when really there's other things going on but you keep just kind of putting it all into like

my fucking job when there's actually other things that you can dig deeper on of what's actually bothering you. It's like taking it out on a loved one or like or it manifesting in a certain conversation. So you can go to

Eastern European Therapist.com and if you're looking for if you're looking for a tough love, Slavana will tell you what's up. Yeah, Svetlana. You're like, oh, you know, my mother didn't love me. It's like, well, lucky you. I queued for two days for bread in 1985.

So... Svetlana Kutznezva. You can have a career anywhere. Or you can have a mission as part of CIA. Standing shoulder to shoulder among the best and brightest, pushing the boundaries of intelligence, all while using your skills in ways you never imagined to help protect our nation. Envision making a difference at CIA.

Visit cia.gov slash careers. Let's get into some more practical advice. Hey, Hannah and Des, a trick to dealing with anxiety is to brush your teeth with the less dominant hand. It will kind of refocus you because it's a little bit. tricky to do, and it will bring you into the present moment more easily and calm you down. That's interesting because that's like a little mind trick. Is this girl like a Jedi? She sounded very zen. Yeah, well, you know, she has the simple tricks.

She's been brushing her teeth with her left hand. Why did my brain immediately go to thinking about jerking off with the wrong hand? Yeah, some people say if you masturbate with the other hand, it feels like somebody else is doing it. by the way masturbation masturbation came up a lot so yeah masturbation and smoking weed

were the two dominant suggestions yeah the the thing with smoking weed is I feel like it's good up to a point and then you could really psych yourself out if you're not in the right yeah pros and cons different you know

it's good for some not for all but but I've actually I actually find that masturbating with my left hand my less dominant hand doesn't feel like somebody else's It just feels like a version of myself that's not as good at doing what it was doing five seconds ago.

Just a weaker, less talented version of yourself. I prefer the way that my ex-jerks might. Like, you know, you meet somebody new and you're like, they're not doing it right. That's what it's like when I meet my left hand. I feel like in high school, it was like you have to sit on your hand. So it like goes numb. And then that's the stranger. Yeah, but that lasts for like two seconds until the feeling comes back in your hand and then...

Also, don't love having to numb a part of my body, but it does go back to like with senses. They'll be like if you're feeling anxious, like, what does the room smell like? You know, what is... Feel your hands on your knee? What color is this? So it is those little things that you have to focus. Because yeah, when you get really bad anxiety, you almost... It's called like depersonalization where you like...

You leave your body and you're just looking onto your body and you've lost control of just, like, being grounded. So I also love lying on the floor. Oh, well, do you really? Do you really, Hannah? Do you like lying on the floor? Oh, my God. Hey, so this prompt spoke to me. I literally just lay on the floor.

I laid on the floor so much at my job. I'm a teacher, by the way. And I only did it when the kids weren't in the room. But I laid on the floor so much that my coworkers ended up getting me like a floor pillow. It just really like it gives you the opportunity to like ground yourself and like calm down. So you're not on your own there, hand. It's interesting. I think I like yoga because it's fun to feel grounded, like your hands on the ground.

You almost feel like a kid again. But I also like to feel like a cat. You know when a cat is like de-stressing, they like to just sprawl on the floor and just lay there? Sometimes it's the most comfortable thing. Or like in between shows, I like to just lay on the couch and just release. Standing's fucking exhausting. Yeah, there was a few lying on the floor. So I feel like this must be a suggestion that goes around.

Is there anything else specifically about lying on the floor that... It's the grounding aspect of feeling, like you're not just flying around. You're really centered. You're really safe. You're just, you're okay. More than bed? There's something about the floor.

Some people, yeah, they like lying in the kitchen on the floor. It's like a feeling that it just feels firm and safe and strong. I'm not a lie on the floor. I mean, I lie on the floor for like exercise, but I've never thought of lying on the floor as something that grounds me.

But I do get incredible comfort from lying on the bathroom floor after I've puked numerous times. And I feel like the pukin is over, but I'm not confident enough to leave the bathroom. But I just need to lie down. And even though it's so disgusting, it just the disgustingness of it leaves me temporarily

while I just lie there, feeling safe to be next to the toilet, but also feeling some sort of relief that I've got, rid of whatever uh thing my body wanted to get rid of yeah there's nothing quite like the cold tiles and then the dirty the dirty rug that's right by your face exactly exactly you're like when was the last time i washed this rug it's just like why yeah why didn't i why didn't i not miss the toilet numerous times over the last two weeks and now have to smell my own fucking

piss on this thing but it's amazing how great that feels it feels so great to just lie on the bathroom after you've puked. Yes. I've definitely lied in the bathroom in college before. Like when you're drunk lying down in the bathroom, it's like, oh, heaven on earth. It's a cool tile. Safe space, man.

So, lock that door. This isn't an anxiety recommendation. This is like a real serious, you know, like motivational speaker shit. Hi, Hannah and does. Love the pod. Love you both. Okay, so my trick to handling high pressure situations or anxiety, I'm actually a mental performance coach. So I teach these skill sets all the time. So this is the prompt for me.

But the best thing to do in a situation with high anxiety or high pressure is remind yourself that you've prepared all you can for this moment. You can't go back and prepare. You are the best you're going to be. And whatever is put in front of you is put there so that you can handle. it and just remind yourself there's nothing else you can do other than get through the moment. So that always calms me at least. I don't know if that's helpful. Okay. Bye.

In a high pressure situation, I actually tend to come to that realization that like, okay, this is it. All that can happen now is that it's going to happen. So let's just fucking do it. Yeah. And a lot of people will do, you'll see them do amazing things. and afterwards people be like how'd you do it and they're like i don't know i just blacked out because like you just the hardest thing is just putting yourself in the moment and facing it and then trusting that you can handle it but even her being like you were put in this position because you're capable of it

and you're able to handle it is a nice thing to people love a mantra people love a mantra and i think having mantras can help like you can't say a mantra while also think you're something negative so it quiets those voices and then it is it is fun to have a mantra even if it's like i am worthy people you know like love sorry go ahead what are we saying no no you keep going you're so young no you know why i i i was i was kind of doing it like as a joke because hey guys i'm calling from vienna austria where i work as an opera singer so i'm definitely no stranger to anxiety and high pressure situations. Basically, my tip is to choose three words, kind of a mantra, to guide you through whatever stressful situation you have. So my three words

can be anything that I really want to focus on for that specific moment. Oftentimes, they are something like confidence, focus, Beyonce. And Beyonce will be like my, you know, you're a bad bitch, you're a diva. You can do anything. And so right before I'll go out on stage or I'm in this high pressure situation, I'll stand in kind of an open Superman pose and repeat these three words to myself over and over again to kind of hype myself up and give me the confidence. And if at any point during the high pressure situation or performance, I feel myself slipping, I can repeat these words and bring my focus back to what I need. There you go. And that's an opera singer right there. Look, convince yourself that you are Beyonce and nothing can go wrong.

So I didn't mean to cut you off. I was cutting you off for the joke of actually people do love a mantra. They do. I like how she said Superman Pose too. There is something to be said about like fake it to you make it, as in you can't feel a type of way if you don't at least first try to feel that way. So even if you're not feeling it, be like, I am Beyonce, I'm Beyonce, I'm Beyonce, I'm Beyonce. And then after a bit, you might actually be like, it's not that crazy for me to think

that I have the confidence of Beyonce. Yeah. And the Superman pose came up a lot. That must be another thing. People say, stand in a Superman pose. Actually, like, I guess people feel like it's empowering. My thing is that I'm assuming the Superman poses, is that like the hands on the hip Superman pose? Yeah.

Yeah. Because my initial reaction was like, what, like pretend you're flying, but yeah. So, yeah, it's like if you stand the way you wanted, the physical and the mental are connected. So it's sometimes even like Serena would say. say like I like to dress well because then I play well because I've then I feel good um so it's like dress for the part position yourself for the part repeat words for the part and next thing you know you're putting yourself in a good situation so what what are your what are your three words I know I'm putting on the spot here my three my three words are joy because I like to bring people

joy i want to have fun so joy fun and stick it to the man okay a lot of words uh what are my three words uh okay let me let me a c l Hannah um yeah walking Advil. Pain-free. Daryl Strawberry. Wait, I wanted to... No, Richard Pryor. Richard Pryor is my...

Who am I channeling? Who are you channeling? Serena. I'm channeling biggie, man. Kenya Martin on the New Jersey Nets. Al Karez. Kid and play. But you know, all these people have anxiety, but they face it.

They face adversity every day. with their Rolexes and billions of dollars. Imagine I got, you know how the pro tour, they have like mental health coaches that travel around with them? What if I just had that all day? It's just a lady. They come to Tempe, Arizona with me. Sorry, and who is this?

My mental health coach, like the tennis players have. You know how Igor Shvia. Yeah, you need Shfayatak's coach, yeah. But you need an Eastern European, though. Just an angry Eastern European. You're like, what are you stressed about? Nothing's going on? Have they not laughed every other night?

They laughed every other night. What's different about tonight? Get out there, you're embarrassed. But you haven't made me laugh, by the way, but that's not possible. But I've never laughed before. I don't have that capability. Bend your knees. It's terrible.

These Eastern European things are. Eastern European stereotypes are unacceptable. No, but they are very funny about it. They're very self-aware, and they'll be like, look, like we don't smile as much and we are straight to the point. I used to have a joke in China. So it's a real, in Chinese, in my Mandarin stand-up, I would have a joke that when I was in the northeast of China near the border of Russia,

they would always ask me, are you Russian? And I would say, no, I'm not Russian. Did you not see me smile? That would always get a laugh. They do say Eastern Europeans are the scariest white people. Oh. Okay. You got to keep, you got to keep moving on.

I have time for two more. Okay, time for two more. Well, let's go with this then. Hi, guys. I'm so excited about this prompt. I always watch for one that I'm like, does this make sense for me? And sometimes I just feel like I'm forcing the issue.

but this one, this one is made for me. Love you guys, by the way. So anxiety, like many of us, I get very nervy. I'm in the corporate world. I present all of the time. I travel to clients a lot. I get nervous at the doctor's office these days. Like I can barely stomach a shot.

So I've had to get really good at this. So it is scientifically proven. Your brain can't think of the opposite. So if you're thinking, don't mess up. don't freak out, don't X, Y, and Z. Your brain is just thinking about that thing. So you have to get really good at visualizing however you want the thing you're nervous about to go. So for a presentation, visualize yourself actually doing a good job.

It seriously, seriously works. Thanks, guys. Bye. Nice. She's so fucking right about this. Famously, when tennis, there's a lot of results-oriented stuff. And a lot of the time, if you're nervous about your second serve, you think, don't double fault, don't double fault. But your brain only here is double fault.

And that's like a pretty common tennis thing that happens where you're just like, you just have to visualize hitting a good second serve. Because the second you tell yourself not to double fault, your brain doesn't know the negative. Yeah, Jimmy Carr once, Jimmy Carr, the British comedian, once we were actually, talking about Tony Robbins he likes Tony Robbins and he said that before a show he always imagines himself now actually let me can I just give a caveat that maybe I'm misquoting Jimmy Carr here but that my memory is that it was him that said it to me that he imagines himself at the end of the show having killed it standing in front of the audience absorbing adulation that's like his thought process in advance

What's adulation? Like the praise of the audience. Rather than like walking out thinking like, oh God, I hope this goes well, he's walking out knowing that it's gone well. Yeah. That's like his little, his little NLP sort of trick. And I apologize if I've quoted him incorrectly, but I'm pretty sure. No, that's interesting because it's, it's channeling this like positive feeling and it's not being overly like strategic or analytical. they'll do that with yeah visualization is really huge in sports um sometimes what would annoy me

is like the night before a match i would like dream the entire match and i would win it and then i'd wake up and be like i just played a whole match and i didn't fucking actually win anything and i'd wake up and have to like i'd be upset that i didn't actually play the match um but maybe that was a form of visualization i definitely know when i'd be having bad dreams it was like my subconscious that wasn't believing in things and I wasn't having positive visualizations. Do you think Killian visualized at some stage in his career

standing on stage and making a speech for winning the best actor? Yeah. I wonder. That's pretty... I wonder that's a good question, but I think I really believe that when things happen to people, they've like fully accepted it.

Like obviously luck happens, but sometimes I feel like he really seemed like in his head he already won it like he he deserved to be there like he really just seemed like at home up there um yeah because like watching that the other night it was like wow you know these are things that like you know in in your youth you feel like they're things that happen to some other people yeah but then you see like this guy that you've known for like nearly 30 years and he's up to you're up to you're there as the best actor and you're like fucking hell man i do think people who accomplish incredible things don't put some of these incredible things on pedestals so when great things happen to them they're they're very prepared for it they're very like yes this is what i wanted and if you put things too much on a pedestal you'll freak yourself out about stuff we're thinking more about the potential for winning an oscar rather than the potential for failure that's where we're going exactly i want to to just say to the little dialers, this has been so therapeutic. I mean, it's giving OG burning

in hell vibes. Hearing so many people talk about having similar experiences makes me feel a lot less alone. And these are all so fucking helpful in different ways. This was so cool. Well, thank you so much everybody. I mean, if you happen to be looking to go to a show in Chicago, I'm there the second week of May. Come check that out. I'm in San Jose this weekend. There's a couple tickets left. I have five shows. So take a drive if you haven't seen me yet and you're in California. Let's go. And if you're one of the people that haven't watched my special yet on YouTube, you should watch it. But thank you to everybody that watched it. If you're bored, watch my story. I'll be posting things like me increasing my weight bearing on my left foot.

Thank you. Well, thanks for calling in. Love you guys. You can have a career anywhere. Or you can have a mission as part of CIA. Standing shoulder to shoulder among the best and brightest, pushing the boundaries of intelligence, all while using your skills in ways you never imagined to help protect our nation. Envision making a difference at CIA.

Visit cia.gov slash careers.