Berner Phone - Berner Phone #35: 2024 Icks

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

The dialers called in about their biggest icks this week. Hannah and Des also share their icks while debating middle schoolers in Sephora and pickleball.  20% off at HoneyLove.com/BERN 15% off at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN 40% off at Hungryroot.com/BERNER

Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. What's up, my little dialers? I'm so excited for this week. I feel like the question was good. It's X 2024, because X, you know, people talk about X a lot. It's been around now in the zeitgeist for a number of years, so we didn't want it to seem jaded.

But, you know, Ix, they always evolve, like fashion. Yeah, I think there was a time where people got sick of X, and I'm like, you know what? New Year, new me, new Ix, let's go, let's see what's going on. I think X is very powerful to be able to say something gives you an ick. It means no matter how much you were into a person, they could lose you based on how they, you know, pick up a penny or how they, Even the most minuscule things could change the world. And you change and people change and styles changed. So what was once an ick might change out of ickness.

What once was cool becomes ick. You know, there was a time where if you weren't wearing bootcut jeans, that was an ick. Then bootcut jeans became the biggest ick of all time. You know, icks evolve. You know what Paige is saying? Capri pants are coming back. Oh, yeah, I feel like that's been, I feel like they were back already, you know? And are you wearing Capri pants?

No, but like you're going to have to change your, don't you have a reference to Caprize in your sleeping or Beauty and the Beast bit? Yeah, that he pulls off Caprize. Now, actually, you know what, I'm going to have to Google, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to Google Caprize to 100% know what, what they are. It's basically pants that look like they were left in. the dryer too long. Oh, yeah.

So the short kind of capri. Yeah. For women, women all day. I'll never get, I'll never get an ick from women with caprice. But men, you know, I don't know if they're, are they coming back for guys? I feel like all baseball players are wearing caprice. Yeah, but the baseball style has never been like, I feel like baseball style is an hick and has been for a century.

I think girls like baseball style. Interesting, because it's tight. Because it's tight, which is interesting because some girls are really to the butt, but I don't want a guy to have a nicer butt than me. Like, let me have one thing in this world. Yeah, and they are very, they are very figure-hugging. But anyway, the, the extra,

I also have to say that this kind of came in a bit more, it was a bit more peavy. Okay. It came in more peavy than icky. That's what I would think. I don't judge people's, I'm not going to yuck someone's peeve or they're yum. Yeah. I think as long as people are

expressing themselves it's healthy no i think it's and i you know i love a peeve in fact this podcast would be peeves week on week if i had my way so i'm absolutely fine this is just a normal conversation for us um i'm currently in miami if anyone was wondering like hannah where are you i'm in miami not for anything fun not for a bachelor party i am doing university shows i was in Orlando yesterday and they raised their hand and asked me what's your ick and I was like wait I need to think of new ones for 2024 because they've all been done no but you have to you have to be true to yourself someone also asked me which maybe we could do a whole up on this who's your um hall pass not hall pass who's your hear me out have you heard of no so hear me out is a thing going around on ticot hear me

out means like I know this person is not traditionally attractive, but hear me out. Oh, okay. But then people are picking like pretty stereotypically hot people like like the guy, the guy from the bear. Yeah. I'm like this is my, they asked me yesterday. Do you know who I said? No.

Will Farrell. Oh. Well, that's your sense of humor. Hear me out. Yeah. I don't know. I'd have to think about mine. Hear me out.

I feel like Hear Me Out is more popular. women. Because men care about looks more? I don't know. I just, you know, I wouldn't even pop into my head. I hear me out for a woman. Or because men will literally have sex with anything. You don't have to. Anyway, it doesn't matter because we're going to do a, we're going to do a, no, because it's not hear me out. It's not about men having sex with anything. It's just like, you know, it doesn't immediately spring to my mind. But we'll do an episode about it. Look at us planning for the future. Oh, by the way, my heck is universal. Year on year never changes smoking. Always a huge ick for me. Big it.

And I'm sorry if there's any smokers out there. You're a great person, but obviously I'm only expressing my own ick. How do you feel about like huge vape smoke rags? I'm not a big fan of the vape either. And, you know, actually the vape in itself doesn't give me the ick. But for some reason, the actual like the contraption, like sitting on the table in front of them,

It feels kind of like, I don't know, dirty to me or something. There's something about an actual, like, vape thing that I find a little icky. I don't love when I'm walking behind a 38-year-old in-cell, and he blows out some smoke, and I get strawberry banana taste in my mouth. Yeah. I mean, what if it's a 23-year-old female economic student? Then it's fine. She's in the arts.

She's expressing herself through the art of vaping. Actually, vapes smoke doesn't, vapor doesn't bother me like cigarette smoke does. Well, yeah, cigarette is a whole other level. And then if you're around it, especially as a girl, your hair smells like it. So then when you go

somewhere, people think you were smoking and you can't get out of your, it's like you have to take four showers. Yeah, they were still, I started comedy when people were still smoking. In the club? Wait, were you alive when they had it in planes? That's crazy. Yeah, I used to fly to Ireland in the early days of flying to Ireland.

You know, it would be like smoking or non. And then one time there was just no seats left. They had to sit in smoking. It was absolute torture. And then even when I was in college in UCC, if you got the train to Dublin, they were still smoking cars on the train. So, like, if you had to walk it to the, like, to the food cart, to the food car, you'd have to go through to smoke. It was, like, the most disgusting thing of all.

Also, the non-smoking section, there had to be some leftover smoke. If you were close to the back, yeah. It was very annoying. I'm going to say my 2024 ick, just men with any kind of nails. Like, not, I'm not saying, like, painting nails. I mean, like, when their nails grow longer, like. Like, unkempt? Unkept. I want a man's nails. I never want to see the white on their nails ever. Because as a girl, I have long nails and I eat one Chipotle burrito and it smells like salsa verde for three weeks on my hands. And it's like I just want man's hand hands to be clean. Right. So you need a nail biter or a nail groomer. Yeah, I support nail biters. I'm like, good. Keep that shit down. I don't want stuff growing underneath your nails.

Obviously, women grow their nails, but men don't grow their nails. So when a man's nails are grown, you automatically assume it's dirty. And that he's not sexually pleasing his partner. Because of the potential for catching. Yes. Lesbians don't have long nails. Do they not? Yeah, because they care for each other.

Yes, it's a fact. They care for each other. I wish we had our lesbian correspondence, but they're now 3,000 miles away. I'll ask that later or they have like you know like a guitar pick how like a guy will grow out like his thumb nail for guitar right that's what lesbians will do they'll like keep one or two nails short they're non fingering nails yeah yeah uh no lesbians Ali Colbert told me like she'll joke some girl would be like oh I'm a lesbian and she'll look at her nails and be like no you're not wow interesting there's a whole world of communications I never knew that uh nails were assigned well anyway let's get to the dialer's icks since we've learned so much um let's get to the dialers x this is very icky before we get before it gets peavy uh let's get hannah i love you does you're great too hope the acl's okay um my 2024 ick is when a man is sitting in, like, a tall chair, and their feet are dangling.

I just, Hannah, I know you don't have this problem with Des, but any other man, grow up. I kind of like when their legs are dangling, because I'm like, because they're like a little helpless. But it's funny because every now and then you'll end up in a chair where you might actually have to dangle, and the minute you dangle, you literally feel like you're six. Like, it's such a weak. you ever sit in a stool and like there's no there's no like bar at the bottom and suddenly your legs have to dangle you're like i don't feel right something's not right in this world this is fucked up but when you tour your ACL and they put you in the wheelchair

no i know you did the joke your little legs are flinging around but i didn't get the ick because i was so proud that you were on recovery i know you made a joke about it on stage you were on on recovery. No, I got the ick when you had a neck brace, even though you tore your ACL. Well, because they were worried that I might have broken my spine. They were being dramatic. Well, okay. I mean, this is the person who didn't know how to call 911. So we're not going to look to Hannah for what you're supposed to do in an emergency situation. Okay.

I do think it's how men sit fascinates me. Like, especially in stand-up, I'll, like, judge people of who I want to talk to and I try to find the duchiest guy and it's always the guy who's taking up the most space with his legs like some of these guys front row will have their legs like straight out and then like wide just and the girls are all you know we sit as tiny as possible i don't know if that's been taught to us um i've been mans spreading lately just as a social experiment yeah how do you feel about when people put their leg on the stage i always feel like that's like that's like a boundary cross that means you're getting talked to yeah which they want i'm

lot of time they want that yeah but it's weird or like someone will put like a drink on the stage um some comics will freak out if you like touch the stage yeah i don't love the drink on the stage but in some situations it's just very practical for them and it doesn't annoy me but when it's not practical and i feel like it's like a flex then it will annoy me a little bit but oh you know i'm not going to like i'm not going to throw a show to make a thing about it but i do have to say for the subway riders i don't know who designed the subway seats or if like people have gotten bigger over the years, but for everyone to fit in the seats, the delegated seats, you have to sit pretty confined. And there's always a couple dudes or like if you have two dudes

next to you, like you are literally, you have to squeeze, suck in the whole time. And it's like, what is it, just to protect their balls? Why do they manspread? Speak for all men right now. Why do you manspread? That's not my role here. No, but I'm giving you a chance to defend. I'm not a man-spreader. I, babe, I cross my legs. I've had to spend my life defending that crossing your legs isn't gay. I'm a leg-crosser. I love that you cross your legs.

I'm a descendant of a leg-crosser. So I'm not going to defend man-spreaders because I'm not a man-spreader. Can I say the opposite of a nick is when a guy crosses his legs? There's something fucking powerful and hot about it. I love it. It's European, really. Let's face it. As a man who's always been very comfortable with my sexuality, I cross proudly.

Do you know who was sitting with their leg crossed? entire documentary. Oh, Tom Brady was actually when we were watching the Tom Brady documentary. And who is the most powerful talents a person in the documentary? Yeah, and who won like four Super Bowls after tearing his ACL? I mean, I'm a big Tom Brady fan these days. If you guys haven't watched Dynasty on Apple Plus, highly recommend. And I'm a New York fan and I enjoyed it. So it says a lot. Yeah, no, that was a fantastic documentary. So anyway, I have sympathy for somebody who's dangling their leg on a seat that doesn't look like it should be dangling but a good ick do you know what's really

scary what when you because i have little legs not to brag when you sit on a toilet seat and your legs are dangling that's scary that's that's never happened to me but i don't if a toilet seat is very high it's not actually good for your like okay i'll give an example at the hospital after surgery they had the extender on the seat because it's it's safer after surgery however this is not a practical angle for doing your business no squatty potty is the way to go this is the antithesis of the squatty potty people will complain when like toilet seats are too low but isn't that actually how we were supposed to poop like as cavemen i think so we're supposed to squat i mean how do they do it in china yeah they squat in china and i i became i became a big fan and to

defender of squatting while pooping. And then Dermit Weillan, great Irish comedian, but now actually kind of like getting into the life coach realm, left his job on the radio and is now full-time kind of like in the wellness space. He actually tagged me in something the other day about how it's scientifically proven that squatting is the best way to poop. All I know, without getting into too much detail, even though we always talk about poop on this pod.

When I was squatting in China, I had a lot, I had a much higher percentage of what I would call successful poops where there was no, you know the way sometimes it's just disappointing

the way it finishes up. It doesn't feel complete. My completion rate, I think, is that what we're looking for? My completion rate was way up in China. Oh my God, don't you hate when you're in a rush

and you think you're done and then you're like, oh, no. What do we do? Now, here's my. question in these later years of injuries. I don't know what people do in China in a situation like I'm in right now. I don't know what you do post ACL surgery if the only solution, if the only place is a squatty potty. I guess you have to squat on like one leg. Wow. I don't know, I don't know what to do. All right. So that was that was a good, that was a good hic. Actually,

this is a this is a personally I thought hilarious ick. Maybe we won't have that much to add to it, but I actually thought it was hilarious because it's cringe myself. because I've been in this situation. Hi, Hannah and Des, I work at a spin studio, and my ick is predominantly men, but some women, too, in spin cycle shoes, clopping around. Like, click, cluck, click. They don't look cool on anyone,

let alone middle-aged men in tiny little shorts. It's just not it for me. So, that's such a good ick. And the fact that she has an Australian accent Because I got into my spinning obsession in Australia originally After my mother died Which is why there's that whole thing in me and mama But actually it was inspired by Australia

But there is There is something kind of embarrassing About the before and after With everybody clicking around in those shoes Would you get the ick if I had one of those shoes on And I couldn't get it into the pedal? That wouldn't be an ick for me Depending on the situation I would either

I would just be frustrated if I was already clicked in myself and then I had to unclick to help you to click in. So I would either be like trying to help you from because I hadn't got in yet or I'd be like, oh God. I don't think clicking in is that hard, but I get psyched out about it because I'm like, oh my God, if I don't click in, like, it's so embarrassing. And then I'm like in my head about if I'm clicking in at the right time.

Try the stress of clicking in, right? after you've had a hip authroscopy and you're in front of a thousand people doing a show in Ireland where you have to clip in where you can hardly stand up straight. That was a tough clipping. I feel like sometimes this is where we lose people on the pod with your unrelatable stories.

You know when you're in Ireland and your hip episcopacy? You know, I don't want to shit on the entire sport of biking. And you know what? I am going to right now. It's not a sport. It's a training method. It's a skill, I would say.

I wouldn't say it was a sport. But there are guys, primarily guys, who put on the craziest outfits when they're doing their biking. And I guess it's like to make them bike faster. But like, do you really need to have like a full onesie every time you go biking? I'm an anti-mammal. You know, I'm not into the bike. I like spinning because like I like the vibe. but the middle-aged man in Lycra is not a species that I ever want to belong to.

But obviously... It's definitely a certain species of a person. There's a reason, though, I guess it's more aerodynamic and it displaces the sweat, you know. And obviously, the pants are the best way to alleviate chafing. So there is some practicality to it, but not my favorite outfit. Some vintage biking shirts are becoming popular in the Lower East Side where the girls are wearing it with jeans. Really?

Yeah, just throwing that out there. I almost bought one. They should make biking caprice, I think. Maybe that will be next. But you know, here's the thing. Here's a little moment of when you know you're getting older is the level of fear that you have walking on the tiles of a soul cycle when you have those shoes on. That actually your biggest concern is falling. Because they're not ideal.

No, they're not ideal. And when you rent the Soul Cycle shoes, it's disgusting. I've gotten them when they're still wet from like some other oh this is a special one for Hannah oh god one of my icks that is very 2024 coded is when men call out or mine in pickleball like for some reason that just sends a shiver down my spine it makes me want to vomit I immediately am not attractive to them anymore I think it's just seeing them take something so seriously that we're doing for fun that I'm I could just never picture myself with them ever again guys taking too seriously who are also like not good at it isn't it like when they start yelling

at each other and like trying to tell each other what they did wrong when like neither of them know what they were doing anyway yeah which is like playing paddle with hannah because hannah actually does does that you're you're the guy when playing doubles paddle yes I am. Yeah. I am. But paddle is like, pickleball is, is dumber. 100%.

Now, I actually have not spoken out. I'm not an anti-pickleball person. I think it's great. I, but I have my foot down sometimes. This guy, a professional pickleball player, tweeted yesterday, pickleball has made me a much better athlete than tennis ever did. Faster reaction time and speeder needed since the ball is coming from 10 feet away, point for point, pickleball requires more skill.

than tennis. This is ridiculous. I guess he might have posted it just to, who knows? Yeah. So James Blake responds and goes, that might be because you were playing a pretty low level of tennis, ha-ha. Maybe if you were familiar with athleticism, it takes to excel at the sport. You would realize how ridiculous this statement is.

And Jesse Pagula commented the dead faces. But then Nekirios gets involved. And you know when Nekirios gets involved, it gets crazier. And if you guys don't know who I'm talking about, it's okay, just lean in with me. Oh, and Anerotic got involved. So Nick Curio said, let's hide under the bed after this statement, bro. Get me the best Bickleball player and compares talent to Roger Federer. Wild tweet, delete now.

I love pickle, but you had too many tequila's. Renee Stubb said, dude, you have to delete this tweet. I mean, it's the most ridiculous thing ever. Like, you know, a person who's never played tennis in their life could pick up a pickleball racket and at least, like, play a little bit of pickleball. Whereas when you pick up a tennis racket, you won't even get the ball within the lines. It's the most ridiculous thing ever.

I think you just want to piss people off. Wait, but then they started fighting. So he goes, we've barely scratched the service of pickleball's potential. Imagine if pickleball had more athletes like Federer-Jokovic Al-Grez than we could compare. Come to pickleball, you might be able to break the top ten. And Nick Curios goes, why would I come to pickleball? busy getting to ATP tour finals. And the guy goes, fun fact, you and I literally have the same

amount of major titles in our tennis careers. That's a pretty good. That's a pretty good burn. So then they're like fighting with each other. But anyway, it is funny, the pickleball tennis drama. The overzealous partner is definitely irritating. Would you call yourself that in volleyball? Actually, no. Actually no. I'm overzealous with like wanting to win, but I'm not overzealous with like that was mine. That's what I would say. If people don't know, our third or fourth date was a volleyball tournament. The criticism was coming from you trying to make it seem like I wasn't doing enough.

And I literally couldn't breathe from trying to cover the entire court. And you hardly knew how to play volleyball. And you were like, why weren't you there? You literally were like, why weren't you there? You were getting frustrated at me because I didn't know where to stand. I was trying to keep it in. But you were actually, you actually at one point were like, why weren't you there? And I was just like, I literally couldn't even breathe for, I was running all over the place.

My mom and dad have a very funny story because they went on vacation once. And my mom was just learning to play tennis. And my dad signed them up for a tennis tournament. And he's really competitive and he's really good at tennis. And apparently they were serving to him and she decided to just run across and try to hit it like against the rules. And he's like, what are you doing? And they start fighting. And he's, and whenever.

he'd miss she'd be like you know if you want to win you can't miss that so i think that's just part of um couples competing with each other because that's what we used to call it volleyball years ago but you know when i was teenager playing with the older couples uh when the ball would drop between the two people that were in a relationship they'd always call that the marriage ball you know it's just like bad communication so that's that's what it is but i do have to say we lost that tournament but then we continued trading and then we won it the next time we beat a bunch of 13 year olds it was amazing. It was mostly teenagers in that tournament, but it wasn't a teenager tournament. But we did do well. We did well. You know, you'd only just, you'd only just picked up the game. You know,

the only thing is that you have a tendency to sort of like get cocky quick, like, when, I would say that you were talking trash at a very early stage of your volleyball development. Well, I believe that you have to believe in yourself. So I will always talk trash before I actually believe in myself, because then one day you wake up and you actually believe in the shit you were saying. You can learn a lot about someone by being in a competitive situation with them. I would say it shows people's true character. Like, you know, in a first date, you're like, oh, I want them to be nice to the waitress. If they're a root or the waiter, if they're a rude to the waiter, like, they're a fucking monster.

But if they're just normal, you still don't know what their real character is. Put them on a volleyball court. See who they really are. See if they cheat. See if they blame stuff on other people. See if they don't hold themselves accountable. Well, all I can say is that. I'm very competitive and I never felt unsafe around you because I feel like you're actually quite

competitive also. Oh yeah, we both, we never had to like pump each other up. That's for sure. But I also did like if we lost seeing that you would like bounce back pretty quick. Oh yeah. And that was nice. I have to say every physical therapist that I've had since I've had this run of injuries, they have all asked me, am I, I'm okay mid exercise?

and I've had to tell them all that I'm very expressive in my face and I think over the years people have accused me of being overcompetitive but what I've discovered is that my face is a lot more intense than my actual feeling and so I think I've been presenting

as more aggressive than I am because now all the physical therapists that I have when I work with me for a while they're all like oh you're doing it again baby you have resting aggressive face and then your voice is aggressive and you're also a large man so maybe at some point maybe you're just aggressive no no i just i present a grant i'm aggressive

presenting but i'm not actually aggressive you identify as calm and peaceful all right let's get this is this is a bit more peavy hi does hi hannah a big fan here my biggest ick of 2024 um i travel for work a lot um i'm sure you both travel a lot as well um but it's just like plain or travel a lot of people don't respect that at the airport or on the plane in general, just like personal space and boundaries, but also just doing really disgusting things that maybe they should do at home. Clipping toenails, clipping fingernails, not washing their hands, going to the bathroom or in the bathroom. I've seen that walking barefoot everywhere, barefoot to the bathroom. I've had someone like crossed their legs and like their bare feet were like, it was not like

on my seat um oh my gosh there's probably so many more but yeah just travel etiquette like we're sharing a space a really small space and a plane just like be nice and not gross it is truly the wild wild west out there i do have to say the one thing i probably do to piss that pisses people off is like if i'm hungry i don't care where i am i'm eating um that person eating next to you on the bus i'm eating in an uber i'm eating on the plane Are you opening a tuna fish sandwich on a plane? Lately, I've not been doing the tuna fish sandwich thing. I'm sorry, there's a family, Hannah.

There's a secret family. There's a baby crying in the background, just in case it doesn't come through. I've been hiding it in my luggage. That's what happens. Once you have a kid, you can't do podcasts. Simple as that. You know when they yell like a rock star? And this kid just needs milk

I was going to say It's Hannah's inner child Anyway there's When I was at the airport today I saw a weird carmic situation happen Where there was this man Older man in front of me And he was not in a good mood

And the clear people were talking to him And the guy, he like rolled his eyes At one point and shook his head Like he was being a dick to this guy And I was like, that guy's a dick You know, so you're like watching him, and then we get to the security line with the luggage. And you know when there was like a pilot or a stewardess, they come and they'll kind of skip you just because like they're the

stewardess people. So it's this woman and she goes next to him like she's going to skip him to go through and he basically just like steps up like not letting her pass him. And I'm like bro, like what are you fighting for in this life? Like how do you exist? So he like blocks her and she, goes ahead of me and she's quick whatever then he goes and he gets a random check so he's pissed he's on the side and they're random checking him and we're flying past

him and um that's that was a metaphor for life you felt that that was some sort of justice yes now the good guys won where do you stand because uh I see there's a huge amount of controversy over whether you should recline or not well page and I were talking

about it on giggly squad this week no way I think we started it babe I think we started the controversy. It's been around for a long time. They were smoking on planes. This controversy existed. Okay. Why would there be a recliner if you're not supposed to recline?

There is a huge lack of agreement on this subject on the internet. I do have to say, when you sit down and it's not reclined, it's fucking uncomfortable. You think it's too upright? Yeah, it's so upright. The second I can recline, I recline. And also, I'm paying for my seat. I want to use everything my seat uses but also when I go back

you go back we're going back together and you can move your TV so the TV is in the right position and I've seen this argument online and I've seen the other argument particularly from tall people which is you know now it's more uncomfortable for me

however I am of the opinion that it's situational if I have a very tall man behind me or a tall woman for that matter I'm not going to recline. But I'll inch back a little because even the touch of an inch back just puts the weight of my head

that little bit easier against the back of the thing if I want to have a nap. Yeah. But when you go back, it doesn't affect their leg room. So people always say that it doesn't affect your leg room

because the bit of it goes forward. Not when your legs are tall enough that it's coming down into there. Particularly if you're eating, if you're not going back and somebody reclines, that other person's head's pretty fucking close to you. But I don't care

If somebody reclines, I'm like Whatever, they want to recline, I don't care But I won't recline fully if a tall person is behind me So you check to see the height of the person behind you I check. However, unless it's an overnight flight If it's an overnight flight, we're all reclining. Yes.

You know, if it's an overnight flight. Well, that's very nice of you. But people are very aggressively against reclining. Very against it. I wouldn't know because I'm asleep in my reclining chair. Yeah. People get very animated. But I won't recline fully if there's a tall person behind me.

You know who freaks out if you're reclined and you haven't gotten back up when the plane is landing. They act like the world's going to end. Oh, the air. Yeah. For the record, another thing that I feel like they used to say more and they don't say anymore is when food is being served, you're supposed to put your chair back up right. Oh, they never say that to me. Yeah, but they used to always say that. Like all those airlinus flights I took when I was younger, it was like, oh, we're serving food.

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about them tell them burn a phone it's time to ditch the underwire for good thanks to honey love i thought this was very funny hey hannah and does i'm a huge fan of the pod and hannah i'm coming to see you in l.a with a bunch of my friends and i'm really excited anyway my ick is a little bit weird it's backing into a parking spot i feel like it's showing off and it's also like I'm trying to get where I want to be and I don't need you to, like, take up all this extra time, like, backing in. It's, like, pretentious, and it just comes off to me as, like, super douchey. Like, just pull in like everybody else. You're not better.

It's funny. My mother hated backing in, too. But this is funny. I feel like it is circumstantial. Also, shout out. Can't wait to go to L.A. I'm going to be there for Netflix as a joke. And I just had an Anaheim show.

Also, this is the thing. I can't drive. So I don't judge people with their driving abilities because I don't know what the hell. is going on literally ever they could like run over a building and i'm like good job i think it's so hot when a guy parallel parks especially like first try honestly i trust you with my life i trust you with anything you could be my fucking surgeon also when men or women use the stick shift hot hot it is a bit of a flex the backing in sometimes it's necessary but often it is unnecessary and but I guess some people want to be facing out when they go

but I understand this ick my mother was very against back her in and she'd be like oh this guy just fucking showing off she she took it as people wanted to show their superior skills instead of just like they want to make it easier for when they leave

or you know honestly I don't know why people do it a lot of the time I very rarely I only back it in in a situation where it's the only way I'll get in angle-wise. If you're listening and you're a backwrepper, please DM us and explain the why, or if it's just you're showing off and you own it. And I respect that. Like, go off.

Like, do your thing. And I definitely respect this ick. It definitely is extra. And I guess it's more time-consuming. So if you're waiting for someone, you're like, oh, we have to do the whole rigmarole. This one is for you. Hi, Hannah and does. Love you both.

does. I hope your knee is doing well. I feel your pain. I've had ACL meniscus and MCL surgery, so it does get better. My biggest ick is like 12-year-olds going into Sephora and Ulta and like buying all of like the anti-aging retinal creams and moisturizers that my old ass needs to look like them um and so i am something really just achy about 12 year olds and just feeling like society is telling them that they need to buy these products um and then also buying all of them so there's none for the rest of us who are actually old so yeah thanks bye the prices are soaring on retinal because of these 11 year olds but i saw an article recently and i might be just spreading rumors that

moms were complaining that their daughters are buying too much skincare stuff for their young skin and it's like bad for their skin. Like your skin at that age doesn't need all these chemicals. Yeah and it's that clearly that must be like the TikTok effect or certainly the internet effect. For sure. They're

watching these online influencers and thinking they need this stuff. Now you know what's very interesting because I happened upon another article and I know this has come up before but preventative Botox has no science behind it. I love that you brought that up because I was I talk about this page a lot Preventative Botox the girls in their 20s early 20s are doing it and I was like okay if that's a

thing then when do you start when do you start when you're fucking six like when do you stop making your face move and it's also that elasticity of the skin you know it's just it's the aging skin it doesn't change the like collagen or whatever I'm not woman in stem no but I'm not I'm not a man them, but all I know is that people think that there's science behind it. And I'm not saying that one day there won't be science behind it, but there's not now. It's like a marketing ploy or it's one of those like anecdotally seems like common sense things. But there's absolutely, there's no science to back up what on paper sounds like it may be true. If your skin isn't actually allowed to bend that in the future the wrinkles won't be there.

So there's a trend going around saying that millennials are looking younger than Gen Z's. And it's because a lot of these Gen Z influencers are getting a lot of plastic surgery done, which it doesn't necessarily make you look old, but it makes you look like someone who has plastic surgery who tends to be older women. So there's a lot of Gen Zs where they're like, how old do you think I am? And people are like 37, 38. And they're like, I'm 24. So there is that idea of, yep, doing work on your face that backfires. Does your TikTok algorithm do a lot of stuff of this is what 35 was in the 70s?

Do you ever get those? I do see like how they'll have women in like TV shows who are like, you know, grandmas and they're like 52. Yes. But there are certain people that I'm like a lot older. than now and when I see their images from like like like uh what's his face uh constanza like yeah i'm a lot older than he was how old was he i'm a lot older than he was that's all i'm crazy i mean i'm 32 like i'm too old to even like play a young mom that's crazy oh you can play a young mom i know but like technically they they would have like 25 26 year olds there's an aging

There's a moment in aging where you realize that, like, no professional athlete is older than you. Like, you're past the age of being, which for me was a while ago, but it is a moment, you know? But there also is a moment when you realize, like, Novak Djokovic or Venus Williams is, like, a couple years older than me, and you're like, damn. They're still going. I'm sitting here complaining about, like, sleeping on the wrong side, and they're competing in five setters. there was somebody oh but that's what the tom brady doc was good too because he he's only he's like a year or two younger than me and he was winning super bowls only like four years ago but god he he did a lot better than i did in his 40s but i do think the skincare industry is one of the biggest scams and right now at ticot you see a girl who's 26 with great skin and she goes this is my morning skincare routine and she tells you like 20 serums and shit she uses we all have different skin types also it's proven the more crap you put on your skin the backfired you'll see and then we joke like men will just use setafil a dirty washcloth and their skin is glowing and beautiful and girls are paying for all types of and then the serum like is there really

such a difference between a $70 serum and a $25 serum long story short capitalism wins again wins again manipulation all right here we go hey hannah hey des um Hannah I'm going to your show in St. Louis and I am so excited it's going to be for my 26th birthday birthday. Um, really psyched to see you. But anyway, um, my 2024 ick here recently, it has really been when, um, like, people ask me questions that they can just Google themselves. Like, earlier today, my boyfriend, I told my boyfriend I was going to be off on Thursday for the holiday. He goes, what holiday is it? Like, literally open up your smartphone and Google it or look at a calendar. Why are you asking me? It's so annoying.

and it's like it'll be the dumbest shit that they ask about and it's like you literally have a smartphone in your hand and you can just be resourceful and like look it up your damn self and a lot of people have been doing it to me recently it's very annoying amen wait i love her accent amen in the morning i'll be like getting ready not with my phone and i'll be like does what's the weather and he'll be like check your phone first of all you've been up since 6 a.m you've been up since 6 a.m you're scrolling your phone, can you just tell me what, I think it's your upbringing because I had a mom who I'd wake up and she'd be like, this is the weather today. So I wake up. I like, does what's the

weather? He goes, check yourself. Your mother hates Alexa because she put her out of a job. Like, your mother was Alexa before she existed. I, my biggest pet peeve, one, I'm a person that people come up to on the street. I don't know, I'm the opposite of you. I think I'm a resting like nice face. Like everyone on the subway asked me for shit and they always ask me for directions. And if you know me, I never know where I am ever. I have the worst sense of direction. I've lived in New York my whole life, no idea what's going on. But these people have their phones and they'll be like, where is this place?

And I've started to get to a point where I'm like, I can check on my phone, but do you want to check on your phone? And they'll be like, oh, no, we just wanted to know. And I'm like, you know what's better than me? The phone. Or sometimes I'll just get on my phone and be like here. Yeah, I mean, little did I know. They're asking the worst person in the world for directions anyway. The worst person in the world.

Worst person in the world. Or sometimes you panic and you're just like over there. I mean, I definitely have been guilty of shouting at you. Google it. I've definitely been that guy. But like, in fairness, you know, a lot of the, I mean, I get it back in the day. You just, people had to know shit. I think I, what I love about you is you know a lot of stuff about history and I know nothing about history.

So sometimes you'll love talking about history. You're a history major and I'll ask you a question. and I like learning from, like, you and you telling a story. It's more interesting. But every now and then I'll be like, when did this war happen? You'll be like, fuck it, Google. But I want you to tell me it's more interesting when you explain it. Here's the thing about Google and having a smartphone is like back in the day,

you could just win arguments with sort of a force of will. True. A confidence. Can't do that anymore because somebody's going to fact. You're going to get fact check in real time. True. know everything's debunked you know people can't even debate anymore shit man some fucking rogan video came up some guy was going on about easter island which i'd never heard of and about why

easter island became uninhabited and told this very confident story on the fucking joe rogan podcast and then i go into the comments i like he just it's complete like just total guess nobody fucking knows what happened and this guy said it like it was a fact and he was making a point about greatest about you know running out of resources for humanity and it was like bro this isn't even a true fucking story oh god you can google when you're obviously feel sick and that's been bad because before you're just like i probably have a stomachache and that's it where if you google next thing you know you're planning your funeral what grave you want what tombstone what do you want the tombstone so sometimes it's not good to know too much although i do have to say with the ACL

recovery. The ACL Reddit has been very helpful to me. A lot of times Googling will freak you out, but actually numerous times I have felt something and went into the ACL Reddit and had my mind eased by the normality of it. Well, you know, I actually like the discussion pages of things because you'll find someone who has the exact, like you know you'll Google something, but the actual question won't be there. But in the like forum, someone will be like, do you have a stomach egg but then it doesn't hurt, but then it does hurt, like that kind of thing where a webmd will just be like, it's either a cold or a staff infection,

you're going to have to cut your leg off. And you're like, okay, I don't feel better. But there is always an, there's always an asshole in the Reddit. Like some guy, I'll be like, oh, four weeks, I'm not off crutches, whatever, you know, and some hassle will be like, you should be off crud, get off crutches, put your crutches on the fucking floor right now.

You're fucking way behind. And then all these other people are like, don't listen to this asshole. You know, so obviously, You got to be, pick and choose the advice. True. But I have a rice crispy knee. My knee now snap crackle pops all day.

And one of the times I was like, oh my God, like is this, you know, and it turns out that that's just normal. So that's what I like. I like that because I'll know when you're coming around the corner. You can't surprise me. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty click, you know, it pops a lot, you know, but like in a kind of like a almost feels like relief. Mm-hmm. Let's go serious. Hey, guys.

So one of my 2020. 24X is people on TikTok pushing vitamins and supplements and, like, their protein powder and their health, whatever, like, I am influenced so easily. And when I see stuff like that, I'm like, oh, I should try it. And I have tried a bunch of stuff. And honestly, I feel like I was better off before TikTok and COVID and I feel like my help has declined, if anything, after trying all these supplements. That is so valid because think about the times that you've bought stuff, it's always at my lowest self-esteem or like my lowest, like when I'm feeling shitty is when I buy the like self-help book. I buy the powder that's going to change my whole digestive system that I never use.

And it's like, it's just taking advantage of people who are going through a hard time because nothing is a fix-all. Also, you were talking about back by science. None of these commercial things are backed by science. The amount of times I have seen an Instagram ad or something on TikTok and actually gotten quite excited and then immediately Googled and found out that it's just total bullshit. And it's so easy to buy. Well, like, I recently, my lower back was hurting.

So I googled it. then I'm getting hundreds of things that are just like the best ads of like you buy this thing. It's $85. You put it here and they have like four people being like it saved everything. You're actually talking about the hip hook. Yeah, the hip hook for your, for your, uh, for your, what you would call it? What was it? Your hip flexor. My hip flexor. I, I get that ad a hundred times a 10. All you have to do is Apple pay, which is crypto. It's made up money. So you just have to double-click twice, and it's there. So it's so easy to do.

Where back then, you had to go through a lot of steps to buy something online. You know, you had to put your credit card in. You have to write everything. And during that time, you'd be like, okay, we're having a manic episode. We don't need to buy this. Yes. But when the buying is so easy on these TikTok and Instagram shops... There's actually no way to actually get to your soul.

I ended up buying a $25 one on Amazon that's probably like less effective and I haven't used it. But at least I didn't spend money on like the $100 one. Do you know many things I've not bought because I had to put in my address? Like my address has saved me from buying so much stuff because I'll just be like, oh, fuck this. I'm just not in the mood right now.

When you buy it, you feel good, but then when you actually have to live the life of like consuming all the products, like Bella Hadid got some backlash because she was like, this is my morning routine. And she took like 800 different supplements. And at some point people were like, how did people live in the 1700s?

if you needed 800 things just to get your day started. It's like so much consumption. Sometimes the more products you buy do start to weigh you down, and it's low frequency. I'm very curious what your take is on this. Hi, Hannah. Hi, hi, Dez. So my 2024 ick so far is men being day in the life influencers. And what I mean by this is men. showing their daily routine, whether it be going to get a coffee, going to buy a book, riding

their city bike down the street. Like, stop ripping off the girlies and girlhood and everything that we do and get a job. Why are you prancing around the city at the age of 32 and showing me this content while I am a corporate girlie in the office. Like, what is going on? It's very strange to me. And I don't want to see it anymore or ever. I never wanted to see that. Love you guys.

The whole men trying to be influencers thing is for sure an ick. Oh, yeah. I 100% accept it as an ick. I haven't fully analyzed it. But you know how like when girls post selfies, it's like cute and fun. But if a guy's page is only selfies, you're like, how many people do you have cut up in your basement? I feel like we do it for the girls, like, look at my makeup or look at my hair, where it's like, what is he doing it for?

Interesting. It's just, it's an interesting, like, why do you want that kind of attention? But then it's like, if a gay man did it, I'd be like, this is interesting. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's fine. Do you think straight men should be able to show a day in the life of and vlog their days? I think if you are somebody that wants to do a day in the life, of, then you are free to do a day in the life of. I didn't realize it was gendered, to be honest.

I think for whatever reason, when girls do it, it's like fun content and when guys are doing it, it's kind of like copying our culture. Yes, interesting. I mean, if Andrew Schultz was on the podcast right now, he would say, why did you guys want to be doctors, scientists? But that's not my take. It's different because the only reason we weren't doctors was because we weren't allowed to go to school so that's the only reason why men did it before us but in terms of day and the life stuff that's just girls creating quality content about girlhood yeah i mean as far as i'm concerned i wouldn't consider it important would you care to watch another guy say what he does during the day that's not that's not the content that i'm consuming i it is kind of Andrew hubermanesque though

like when the guys are like this is what you got to do during the day to become the most successful alpha man yeah so it's just that that's their version of it i think she means like no i i i get what she means she's she's nailed it it's a straight up i do i do see some straight guys like showing their outfits and stuff and i actually like that because i think like oh i could buy that for des or i'll send it to you um but that's not the kind of guy that i would want to date i guess yeah because there's something about they're not coming up on my algorithm yeah right i'm actually not getting that stuff yeah but no there's there may be some maybe i'm being hypocritical in a way because I do I do want men to feel free to create what they want to create

but I guess she feels like when they copy a trend that's working with women it it um rubs her the wrong way I mean I like I like it as a Nick uh I do find the whole day and the life thing to be kind of funny because it is just like it is just a lazy way to fill 15 minutes of content well the whole thing is Alex Earl blew up from like getting get ready with me content where you basically like tell generic stories while you're getting ready um and that's fucking hard i've never tried it it's hard enough to just tell a good story in general plus when you're also putting your makeup on and cutting it together i was like absolutely not all right this is a very big ick here hi hannah and des um my 24 ick is when a man dips his chip in the dip and then it breaks

off in there like that's so embarrassing um Yeah, Hannah, I love you so much. Love you, baby. Wait, this is so valid. There's nothing worse than when the chip breaks, man. Do you, like, pretend it didn't it? Do you save it with another chip? You got to try to save it with another chip.

Can't leave it in there. I just realize, like, guy-wise, what Nick is, when a guy doesn't confidently go in for the dab. For the what? The dab. Oh, right. I don't know if it's dapper dab. I said both.

I'm not sure what you're talking about. You know when a guy goes in to go like this. to you guys do that whole thing that guys do when a guy's not doesn't know how to do it that's an ick for you yeah i want to see the guy like a confident hello a confident hello but then i also feel left out because they're all dabbing and it looks so cool and fun and then they like try to hug me and i'm like i want to dab but then they act like it's weird if i dab them interesting interesting i love a dab i want to be a dude so i could dab yeah i didn't know that they they called that a dab i thought dabbing was when you did the you know kissing your you know the hands thing what if girls started

dabbing each other because girls instead were like hi we do kiss or like a they hug or we do two kisses I think we should start dabbing each other up right I never knew that's what we were calling dabbing I think it's dapp have you heard of the thing called um vabbing what's vabbing it's the practice of dabbing vaginal secretions on the body like behind the ears like it's perfume and if and if you do it it It attracts potential partners because vaginal secretions contain pheromones. Yes, I've actually heard of vabbing before, but I didn't know it had a term. I've never tried it, so I cannot confirm or deny, but I don't know. At least it's something you don't have to buy on TikTok, am I right?

Anate behavior stuff. Yes. So are we calling it a day? Yeah, I mean, we've only really had the tip of the iceberg of X. Yes, I mean, there's so many. Well, I'll play out loads of them. I love the callers. You guys are so expressive and you so much love and I feel so connected to all of you.

Des, do you have any dates you want to promote? Oh, I have a ton of dates. Go on my website, desbishop.net. I lost.com. It's a long story. Pittsburgh. I just put the tickets on sale. Philly, Point Pleasant, New Jersey.

I'm adding Sacramento and San Francisco very soon. I booked a date, but I haven't got the tickets up yet. And other ones, too. Oh, Toronto in October. Rochester, New York. Tulsa, Oklahoma, November. So a lot of dates up there. Good for you.

You check out my website too. And we love you guys. We'll talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Des. My 2024 ick, which is not really specific to the year.

But an ick nonetheless is that when a boy is body surfing at the the beach and they missed the wave and then they're just kind of floating there ashamed watching everyone else ride the wave that they couldn't. Hi guys. Love the show. I usually don't respond to these but when I heard the prompt I just I had to. I'm at work right now but I'm hiding in the bathroom. I hate when you're hanging out with a guy and it's like quiet and you guys make eye contact and he goes, hi, get away. Hi, Hannah and does my ick for 2024 is straight couples. I'm like, it's 2024. Be gay. Why are the girlies still dating shitty boys when you could date girls? You're a boy? Kiss a boy. Whatever. Just gosh, straight couples. I'm sick of it. Everyone needs to be gay.

I mean, love you, Hannah, and Dad. You guys seem like a good straight couple, but it's an ick to see straight couples. Okay, my biggest ick of 2024 is men that are too nice. I don't know if I'm just absolutely destroyed by previous toxic relationships. But the other day, this, like, 30-year-old Southern man called me Darling, and I about jumped out of my skin. I can't do it. Niceness is less.

I can't do it. You have to be a little mean. One ick that has been very triggering for me lately just really sets me off is when people will post on Instagram or Facebook for, I know Gen Z doesn't use Facebook, but I'm using Facebook.

And they're wishing happy birthday to their pet but it's addressed to their pet as if their pet would log on and see it. Like, I don't mind if someone says today is, you know, my dog, George's birthday. Look at this picture of him. He's so cute. I'm so excited. It says birthday. He's three, whatever.

But when they say, like, happy birthday, George, I love you so much. I can't wait for the years to come with you. Blah, blah, blah. It's like your dog is not logging on and. reading that. Your dog is not seeing that. You need to say happy birthday to your dog in person and then word it differently, please. I get the worst ick when a man reposts a motivational quote or a reel on his story. Like, that's so embarrassing. I don't get it. Why would you do that? It's corny if you have to work through some shit. I'm sorry, but like do it privately. No,

I don't fuck with that. Absolutely not. And I don't care if I see mean. But like, I've also unfollowed people because they post it shit like that. Like, no. Hi, Hannah and Des, love the pod and I need to vent for a second. So my 2024 is friends that think they need to be involved in literally everything that you do or invite it all the time when they actually don't. So I have a group of girlfriends and lately it's an issue apparently when you want to get coffee with just one or, you know, go to the park with just a different one or get dinner with someone and like not invite everyone in the group. And I just wish people understood that not everything has to be a group activity and you don't have to be invited to everything all the time.

Like, people can have their own relationships with each other with any group of friends. That doesn't involve anyone else. And I wish more people understood that concept because it's giving me the ick with my friends when they don't understand. that. Like, just let us live our lives. Anyway, love the pod. Any advice is welcome. Thanks. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Des. My 2024 ick, it's kind of 2023 also. Is the Stanley Cup craze? I just can't stand when I see these girls walking around with these giant cups. I saw my eight-year-old niece walking around with one this weekend. And it was the size of her head. And I just don't understand We've figured out how to even make hydration a trend.

Like, where, when will it end? I can't take it anymore. Please make the giant Stanley Cup stop. Thanks. Hi, I'm Chris Gethered, and I'm very excited to tell you. beautiful anonymous a podcast where i talk to random people on the phone i tweet out a phone number thousands of people try to call you talk to one of them they stay anonymous i can't hang up that's all the rules i never know what's going to happen we get serious ones i've talked with meth dealers on their way to

prison i've talked to people who survive mass shootings crazy funny ones i talk to a guy with a goose laugh somebody who dresses up as a pirate on the weekends i never know what's going to happen it's a great show subscribe today beautiful anonymous