Berner Phone - Berner Phone #37: Life Before Smartphones

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

This week we're throwing it back to a simpler time - when your ex of 20 years couldn't add you on Facebook, your boss couldn't contact you after 5pm, and your favorite show couldn't be spoiled.  Free shipping at Quince.com/bern 20% off razors at AthenaClub.com with code BERN  

This podcast is supported by the Real Real. Meet Christine. She loves shopping. And this? This is the sound of fashion overload. Too many fabulous things, not enough space. So Christine started selling with the Real Real. I've always loved collecting designer pieces.

Gucci bags, prodded heels. But my style keeps evolving. Selling with the Real? Game changer. I earn more and they do everything. Seriously, just drop off your items or schedule a pickup. We handle the photos, descriptions, pricing, even shipping. You just sit back and watch your items sell, fast, to our 38 million

members. And I get peace of mind knowing I earn more selling with The Real Real than anywhere else. Exactly. This? That's the sound of your closet working for you. The Real Real. Earn more, save time, sell fast. And right now, you can get an extra $100 site credit when you sell for the first time. Go to therealreel.com to get your extra $100. Thereelreel.com. That's thereelreel.com. Hi, it's Hannah Burner And Des Bishop Thanks for calling the burner phone If you leave a message after the tone

We may have to make it into a podcast What's up my little dialers Des is very excited about the prompt today I mean it was very well responded to That's all I can say And obviously come on this is This is a topic that I love You know

I don't want everyone to be like This is such a Des topic because we actually thought of it. I actually thought of it just so you know, but you have a... Roll the tapes. Roll the tapes. I said we should do something about nostalgia. You said do something nostalgic, yeah.

And, okay, so it was a collaborative... A collaborative process. And I think it was definitely a very strong response from the dialers. Well, the question was, the prompt was... Before... What was the prompt? I think I'm going to have to look after it. By the way, we're recording at 8 p.m. tonight,

and Hannah has been out with her friends. And I'm feeling a lack of focus here from Young Berger. It was, what do you miss about the world before smartphones? Yes. Life before smartphones. And it's interesting because I got my first smartphone. Well, I got a Blackberry in college. I don't think that really counts.

No, I mean, that's the transition. Blackberry is like a transition. It's a gateway drug. A great forgotten. I think there's a documentary at the moment about Blackberry. Yeah. Or it's like a movie movie, but it's, I just remember BlackBerry, you played Brickbreaker. And my dad and I would be like, would you get him Brickbreaker?

I just remember the excitement of being able to look at my emails on the BlackBerry. But I feel like it's something. And you could type so fast on it. The world of tech is so brutal. Poor BlackBerry just left behind. They changed the game. You snooze, you lose. Yeah, they changed the game.

You know what they are the Layton Hewitt of technology. Wow, what a niche reference. Yeah, in that, you know, like Leighton Hewitt was amazing, but he just came at an unfortunate time where the next generation came too quick for him. Wow, how profound. Well, you know, just we love a tennis reference. I do have to say with the Blackberry, because it was like kind of flat,

I guess so was Applephil. All I remember is I got it stuck in between a wooden chair at school and I sat on it and it just like cracked in half. And that's kind of like the lifespan of a Blackberry. Yeah. And so we had a lot. Actually, fun enough, we didn't get one Blackberry mention, but it was, people were just excited.

about this because you got to understand that every generation has like you know some people were going right back to the world before technology but then some people were going back like you to the nostalgia for a pre-smart phone um i actually had a thought about what i miss about before smartphone because tick tock knows that i loved rave like i i loved rave that was my main source of entertainment for myself raves yeah like rave music rave culture you know And so TikTok shows me very rare. There's a very small amount of rave footage that exists, right? And when it shows up, it's embarrassing.

It looks ridiculous. You couldn't pay me to go to a rave. But the thing is that when I was dancing, like with my shirt off, like dripping in sweat, I was having the time of my life. And now I see that and I go, God, that was so cringe. But we never felt cringe. We literally were having the time of our lives. So actually, I think that the fact that cringe is such a buzzword of modern society comes from smartphones because we're always looking back on ourselves.

Well, it's so funny because if you listen to yourself, if you watch yourself over, for some reason, it's always cringe. But yeah, cringe is created from content being consumed too much of ourselves. But if I was aware of how I looked when I was raving, I would have stopped. I would have become, I would have become aware of myself, self-conscious, and I would have lost all that happiness. Babe, that's so sad and beautiful at the same time. Well, that's why this prompt is a really beautiful prompt. And also I was talking to Paige about how, like,

we're going to be the first generation of old people who have technology, who know smartphone technology. Like, there'll be new technology we don't know, but like, I'm being a grandma, like, plain wordal. Yeah, but you're just making, you have no idea what's coming next, though. I know. You're using a, what would you say, like a now bias on a future that you have no idea about.

I know, but I would argue that, like, because we know how to do smartphones, we're probably hopefully, like, my grandpa, like, he, it's going from newspaper's smartphone is crazy. Like, trying to explain FaceTime to him was crazy. You have no idea what's coming. Oh, like, they're going to start having, like, Star Wars.

Like, there will be a time where people will make fun of the old fogies who used to have this rectangle in their hand. That will happen. That's so creepy. Yeah. So let's get into. We got great prompts.

Okay, I can't wait. Let's go with, oh, by the way, can we introduce? We have a different producer than normal. Nice to meet you guys. My name's David. This is David, not Chris. Not Chris. I don't want people to be like, did Chris have a cold?

David killed Chris. David got rid of Chris. Chris is swim with the fishes. No, Chris will be back. Chris just decided to have a social life at 8 p.m., which was selfish of him. So, David, let's go for number one. Oh, by the way, I put number one because it sets the tone.

This is more of actually, like, the essence of what's going on. I love how you do treat burner phone like an album and how you want people to hear it. This literally is the introductory prompt. Hi, Hannah and Des. So I saw this tweet or TikTok comment or something this week that said that the internet used to be a location. Like, it used to be a place that you could leave because you would get up. from the computer and walk away. And now, because we always have our smartphones, it's like a state of being and you never leave it. And so I just sort of miss like that time where you

weren't constantly on the internet. And that was basically my childhood. So I'm really nostalgic for like an adulthood that I didn't get to live where our purses had a pocket for our flip phone and that's where we would put it when we had like brunch or went out with our friends and you could just leave the internet behind and not have to think about it and yeah like it's just crazy to think about like this rectangle is glued to my hand and I can't escape it there's not even a pocket for it in my purse anymore wow that was fucking profound it was profound I thought that too I was like wow this is because I never actually thought about the fact that there used to be like the separation of church and state.

They used to be internet time and non-internet time, whereas now it's like all the time. We've become one with the ball. Yes, it's, I can't remember the phrase that she used, but she literally was like now that we're one, we're sort of one, our online life, our online life is part of our actual life. And as someone who has anxiety and is a workaholic, basically every time I check my phone, there's someone that needs a response to something. so like your whole life can be driven by your phone and you have to consciously be like

I don't need to respond to this right now. But I remember the first time I started feeling that was when we had laptops in college and we got Facebook and when I'd go on my laptop, I'd always have my Facebook up and people could just message you on Facebook. While you were up. While you were on the computer. Online now. Yeah. And I would be like working.

I'd be like, oh, I don't want to respond to this right now but they know I'm online right now. And that's how we now feel all. All the time. Like, anyone you text, if they don't immediately respond, you're like, okay. Okay, so you hate me. Yes. And we got a lot of that, people saying, like, I miss the time where people weren't sort of

keeping tabs on when you responded, when you saw the message. What's your opinion on find my location, find my friends? Like. The location app. Like, do you? I don't think anybody should be tracked. I don't think it. I think people should be allowed to have their privacy in relation to being.

tracked. Sorry, I was just laughing, imagining if I was tracking you, and I'm like, okay, he's going very slow. Yeah, pretty boring track. You've been walking for one block for 25 minutes. You're walking backwards. So, if I was moving too fast, you'd be like, he's been making it up the whole time. He was never injured. He was never injured. Yeah, so I feel like, I thought that was very profound, the sense of being, we need to be separate from the internet, but we're not anymore. And to me ask, it's almost like you can't be a lot of the time because life is so intertwined with it, you know? It is interesting because as someone who has social anxiety, I feel like just because we have our phone doesn't change it. Like, for example, you know, when you go to a

dance, you go to a party and my biggest fear was like, who do I talk to? Like, how do I, am I standing here weird? I'm being weird because I'm not in a conversation. But nowadays, you can look in your phone, but it's like, it's still as awkward because you're just like, you're not supposed to be on your phone. But back then, you didn't even have an option to look out of your phone. It's definitely less awkward having your phone. I actually forgot to. I forgot to record it in the mindfulness bit, but I normally say one of the examples I normally give is when you went for dinner with somebody and they went to the bathroom, you just sat there. Like you ask yourself, when was the last time you were at a restaurant and like I left or somebody else left

and you just sat at the table and just were pre, like, just like aware of being on your own and other No, our brains are definitely fucked up because when someone leaves to go to the bathroom, when you go to look at your phone, you get this rush of dopamine because you're like, what have I been missing? It's like, it's like you, it's like you're relapsing. Plus, when you don't have your phone, like you will literally check every 10 seconds for your phone. I mean, it becomes a part of who you are. Do you know when you have the like, I think they call it like a ghost vibration?

Dude, we're fucked up. Hey, does and Hannah. I love the podcast. I am closer to Dez's age than Hannah, so I'll be up front about that. But what I missed about the days before, like, cell phones and smartphones is mystery. In the 90s, if you called my house and I didn't answer the phone, you just left me a message and you hoped I got back to you. Sometimes you never even found out where I was when you called. And I got back to you my own good time. That could be anywhere from five minutes to two years. And you just dealt with the unknown. You just dealt with uncertainty. that. Now, everybody has to know where each other is, what they're doing, send me a text message, I don't answer in five minutes, you send me ten more text messages. Eventually, it ends up in an unsolicited phone call. Meanwhile, I'm in the gynecologist with my sister

star-ups. Like, I can't, I'm not reachable right now, but we expect about each other, you know, where everybody is. I miss the mystery of people not knowing where I am, and just being able to get back to people in my own good time. I think we need to bring it back, bring back mystery. Do you know what her accent is?

It's very clear But we don't hear it a lot Philly Oh that's a Philly accent Get the hose It was good I'm at the kind of college I just spit out my water

It's like a stand-up This is like We purchased that one Like that was insanely good But it was a Philly accent Oh right That was wrong DME But I'm like 9th

Right? I think so I don't know It was like it sounded like a southern accent Wow. It's Philly because it's like in between New York. I thought it was Joy Behar, to be honest with me. I thought Joy Behar called into the pot.

Joy Behar's a giggler. I wasn't even listening to what you were saying. No, man. That was so funny. But no, that's... Let me be somewhere else. It is a good point. There's a more need for immediacy like, you know, why haven't you responded?

Why haven't you called back? You know, because like we... I mean, this is way. pre-cell phone but like pre-call waiting even like you just you just didn't know who called yeah and you know i remember pre-answering machine answering machines was so exciting i remember the beginning of handsome machines and that but also with answering machines how do you had to like go through all the messages to hit a message that's that's like when people leave a message now i'm like what's the matter with you oh why did you do that it's creep leave a voice no if you want to like is

are you a doctor's office no then don't be leaving a fucking message. Hi, this is Dr. Cohen's office. Just, you know, reconfirming your appointment for tomorrow at three o'clock. Okay, that's fine. But like, hey, does, it's Jimmy. You want to play golf tomorrow? Also, I know it's Jimmy because it's coming from your phone. Yeah, fucking text me, Jimmy. You know, voice note me on WhatsApp, Jimmy, if you're, if you're Irish. But yeah, did you have, like, the family, like, recording of the message? We didn't do, like, a whole sing-songy thing. You did? Well, there would be, we'd be, we'd, we'd, It was like a thing of like, hey, we're going to change the message.

That's so funny. Hey, we're going to. What would inspire that? Why would a message be changed? It's time for a change or a new machine. New machine because, you know, you have the tapes. You have to change the tape. So new machine, you know, and then it would be like, hey, you've reached the bishops.

It's Mike, Des, Aiden. And these fucking stupid intros would be so long. It's like, guys, you know the drill. You know the drill. Leave a fucking message. Like, come on. I do remember you would like call someone. If it was like your crush, you'd like wait to kind of like hear their voice in the message.

And then you'd be like, no. Is that creepy? Our original one was like, my dad would be like, hello, you've reached the bishop residence. We're not able to take your call at the moment. If you leave a message after the tone, we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Wait, I actually don't know what my current message is. Mine has been for so long that I think I'm actually speaking Irish. Yeah, you go, is this one, I think so, yeah.

I think, I don't even know what mine is. I know at one point it was me, I was actually, like, giggling. Like, I was trying to do it, and my friends were around, and it's just me being like, and people were like, you have to change that. It's unprofessional. And do you remember the, the prank ones are like, hello? Oh, my God. People still do that.

Oh, are you kidding me? Literally someone did that to me recently. It was so, I almost threw my smartphone off a cliff. Hackorama. I'm blocking that friend. I am fascinated by dating. culture pre-smartphone in terms of like what she was saying where you said okay let's meet Tuesday at noon at the pizzeria that was such a New York reference but that's what you did and like

you'd go and they just weren't there yeah and you couldn't that's what the joke's about you had to just be there with that and then like how long would you wait are you just doing my bit that's the thing you know is it's like when do you when do you just accept that you're being stood up or like because you know the way like in your life you've gone to the wrong idly or you've gone to the wrong 16 handles yeah right yeah so that like back in the day

there would just be two people in two wrong places and they would never know until they got home and like left a message to be like hey I was at the italy and you know and then they'd get the message and be like oh my God I was at the other one also nowadays post date text anxiety is crazy because it's like every single thing you text,

you're like, is this right? Is this right? But before it's like, it's stressful because you're like, do I call them or not? But it's not like a constant conversation all day where you're like is smiley face emoji or no smiley face emoji? Yeah. Well, that's just the modern lexicon of way, you know,

what's acceptable is way more complicated than it used to be. Desloves periods. The punctuation you mean? oh yeah yeah sorry I'm from the punctuation generation we're like I'm like you putting a period really sounds like you're being like terse is that a word terse

uh I guess I think so like you're being like short with me you're like yes I'll see you then period and I'm like do you want a fucking fight I know I mean this is somehow punctuation has become passive aggressive which is wild it's wild to me

I go, if you got a period, one more time, I'm going to cry. It's the end of the sentence. It's just the way. You know, it's also end of a sentence? Not having another sentence in the text message. I understand, but it's just, that's just a generational difference because we came from. But I, we use it, we use punctuation to convey tone. So like, if I put all capital letters, I'm screaming.

If I put a period, I'm being firm with you. If I do all under case, I'm casual. It's an art form. I understand that language has evolved. But, you know, the punctuation had a use before. And I don't even think about it. It's just how you finish a sentence. Back to, like, finding people.

Back then, did you walk around with, like, a calendar, like a little calendar notebook? Like, how did you know what you had to do during the day? Well, like, you knew what you had to do during a day. I mean, people... Like, you know, I had a file of facts. You had a, you know, like, for example, like, When I used to book the internet, you know, I used to run the International Comedy Club,

I had the diary, like the diary for the shows. Like most people had like a personal. And you kept it in your pocket. And that was like a good gift, you know, like a Christmas gift, like buy somebody like a nice leather bound diary. You know, that so you had the diary. It's funny because back then, and really some people still do it comics or like you got to have a joke book on you. Yes. And like people think it's crazy that I write on my jokes in my phone.

But I was like, I'm pretty sure back then if people. had phones. They would have wrote it in their phone. Well, I largely write my ideas down in my phone these days. However, I do feel more productive at a time where I go, I'm going to Little Canal in the morning, I'm going to have my two cups of coffee, and I'm going to take that pad out, and I'm going to write, because the reality is that when you're on your phone, writing the notes, you get distracted. It's very easy to get distracted. My thing is just, when I think of something, I can put it in my phone, and then when I need new jokes, I'll search new jokes, and they'll all come up and copy and paste

and I move stuff around also I can't read my own fucking handwriting when I'm like really excited I start getting like really chicken scratching and then I'm like what squirrel motherfucker like what was I writing? I know but I do I don't know if there's something about that I do miss writing though yeah there's something about

the writing it might be actually the time or there might be actually some sort of connection between your hand or your brain yeah well it definitely does help you flow I did enjoy when I had a 9 to 5 like when we'd have a meeting and I would like bring a notebook just to take notes and I love a doodle.

I'm a doodle queen. To this day I'll still doodle. Like you have a conversation on the phone or a Zoom. Doodling, it's really calming. Hey guys, I love this prompt so much because this one is very much for the millennials. Sorry, Gen Z. But anyway, my favorite part about, you know,

the pre-smartphone days was, you know, pretty obvious when you would get in a fight with your boyfriend and you could aggressively hang up your flip phone. You know, just pressing the end call button on your iPhone just doesn't hit the same. No, it doesn't. 100%. That is so fucking funny.

And people to this day, they still like, like, remember what's Shelton? Shelton did the hang up. It's like, bro, that's not how we hang up anymore, bro. Yeah, the Genzi's have no idea what he was doing. They're like, what's wrong with his hand? No, that's so funny. You can't, it's more of a soft, like, and she's gone. Yeah.

It doesn't hit the same. Well, let's face it. You know when the phone would be like, ding! Ding! Ding! You know, now the only time you get that sound is like, sorry, I dropped my phone. I'm like, oh, fuck! Fuck, I dropped it.

But, honestly, I've nothing to add there. I just thought her message was hilarious. Also, those phones back in the day were sturdy. Like, it took a lot to break my flick phone. Nowadays, it's just like one drop on a... What? No, no, I'm just listening. Oh, yeah, one drop on like a marble tile floor and your iPhone's done.

Well, thank God. What would these random Chinese shops do if they didn't have the ability to quietly, you know, against Apple's policy, fix your screen? I love who was like, look, these phones are too durable. We need to change to glass screens. Yeah, let's create, hey, Apple meeting 10 years ago. Let's create something where you have to buy five different accessories just to stop it from smashing on the ground. The amount of times... Go ahead.

Yeah, the amount of times I bring the wrong charger for. the wrong thing that used to be the right charger and I don't even get mad at myself I get mad at Apple and them doing it to my own purpose I love the have you ever bought a new phone and asked the person that works in the Verizon store or T-Mobile place to do the screen protector for you have you only have them do it for me the precision I'm not equipped for that they're like surgeons they they like make sure that no dust gets on it I see one bubble I go what is that yeah what Where's that fuck? What the fuck, man?

I can't, I can't function with that bubble. That little bubble. What are we in a Taiwanese tea place? No fucking bubbles here. That also sounds, that sounds also like a TikTok algorithm where you just watch people put the screen and it's like kind of like ASMR.

100, yeah, like pimple popping or, uh, yeah, what I'm trying to think. That's a whole TV show. Oh, and the gardener guy, I think I brought that up before, right? The guy that'll like, he finds people's like really overgrown gardens in his day. Can I tidy up your garden? Just for the content. And he does, like, he speeds it up, though.

So you watch this guy turn, like, what looks like a jungle into like a beautiful... Page loves, like, carpet cleaning videos. Oh, right. Sounds like a dirty carpet, and they, like, deep clean the carpet. Yeah, and the other one that I got was a sewage blockage cleaning. Jesus. Yeah, cleaning sewers. You're such a boy.

Satisfying, man. I love how I've never... I didn't even know that was a thing. I didn't know either until it came up of my TikTok. I don't know what it says about you that they thought you would like that. Uh... Well, it's fascinating. Don't judge it. You haven't seen it.

You're going to see it now because we've talked about it. When you see it, you're going to be like, now I know what he's talking about. Because it's that disgusting. It's just like, it's fascinating how block they get. Anyway, listen, it just, it is what it is, the weird things that you like. Do you remember MacBooks, how there was like a thing that could, you could video yourself and you put funny filters on it? That was very like, David, do you remember?

MacBook when I was like in high school and middle school you'd all hang out and then you'd be like let's record videos but you put like a black and white filter you do a rap like whatever you were doing and we were obsessed with that but it's so funny we thought it was so cool I know and now it's like should I take a video of this now yeah well Snapchat filters that was like the beginning of mass production of filter

yeah I did enjoy that in the early days well AI is getting too crazy now with I know with Are you worried about you turning up in a deep fake porn? Because you know that's a thing. I never, I didn't even know I should be worried about it. It's already becoming an issue. There's loads of articles about it already.

I think it's great because if anyone ever leaked anything of me, I'd be like, that's a deep fake AI porn. Who's going to leak anything? No. I don't know. But I'm saying, you know, like actresses that, happened to them? They should just be like, yeah, it's AI. It's not me. Sorry. Yeah, but it's already a thing. I think there was already a Taylor Swift one, numerous ones.

Yeah. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Daz. Something that was better before smartphones was the fact that your favorite TV shows want to get ruined, like, before social media and phones. And, like, you want to get spoilers on freaking Instagram because Instagram wasn't a thing. And, you would have to get spoilers from seeing a friend, you know. So, yeah. I am salty because The Bachelor got ruined by a spoiler on Instagram. And I think that life was much better without spoilers to our favorite TV shows. I do have to say, shout out to my Nana.

Nana still got it. She loves movies. And growing up, she would always call us and be like, oh, I just watched this movie. Do you want to see it? And I was like, yeah, I think I want to see it. And she's like, I just, I didn't love the ending when the, every single time should ruin that. And they should be like, when they all died. I hated, I didn't like that about it, but otherwise the movie was going.

We're like, Nana. So Nana was my social media growing up, just ruining everything. I would say you're, you're prone to a spoiler, Hannah. There are times you're like, no spoilers, and then you will literally, like, you will like give a spoiler. But that's literally what a spoiler is. No, I've definitely been on Giggy Squad before. be like, I know me to spoil it for people, but when this... Yeah.

I would say that the... Wait, I am my nana. I am her. Yeah, there's spoiler potential in you. I remember I thought when I was little, we saw Spider-Man 2, and it was like crazy. There was a huge line outside. Are you about to spoil it? No, but I was, it was like, I remember it being a big event.

I was with a group of like tennis players. I remember we walked down. This guy. we were with just goes, Spider-Man dies. And I thought it was the funniest thing that ever happened. Now are you comedy? See, you like, you like spoilers. Yeah, like, I feel like, what's the deal with the six cents?

Is it, is it accepted now that you can discuss the six cents without giving a spoiler? That's like a poll you have to do on social media. I think it is. It's okay to discuss it as an event. But I feel like the, you know what, I'm not even going to spoil it, but there's a twist in the sixth sense for those that haven't seen. I highly recommend that you do watch it, Bruce Willis film.

Poor Bruce Willis, speaking of things from the past. But I think it probably wouldn't have been able to be as successful in the age of social media. I love how you just put your NPR voice on. Yeah, I just, I feel like too many, it would have been spoiled for too many

people. Oh, and it wouldn't hit the same. No, no, and not knowing that. Pulp fiction? Not knowing that is essential. What's, Pulp fiction? What's the spoiler. Isn't there a twist at the end? Pulviction? I never saw it, but you told me. And then I forgot it. Oh my God. Kevin Spacey?

No, the usual suspects. Oh, usual suspects. Sorry. Same movie in my head. Yes, because somebody made a Kaiser Soze joke. Yeah. And no, I won't give away spoiler, but I had to explain. I asked you first for permission. I had to explain the spoiler so I could explain why this joke was funny. And I knew I wasn't, I wasn't going to remember. remember it anyway, so I'll still be surprised. Yeah, so the usual suspects, the sixth sense. What are some other great twist? We won't give away the twist, but what are some other movies with fantastic twists that probably

wouldn't have survived? The Titanic? Oh, no, that's pretty obvious. The Socialist. The Twist is that it doesn't sink. The Titanic. Well, you know, you know my joke about O.J. and the, you know, because it became, it became, I used to say, what's the story?

Syracill's name? Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy. But that joke originally was an O.J. joke. Because it actually did happen. Tell people. So I was doing a show in Vickers Street in Dublin and I made a joke about I said something about

OJ and somebody messaged me the next day and they were like, bro, I haven't got to that episode yet in the OJ story. You spoiled it for me. Because they didn't know that he got off. And he just died this week, which is just makes it timely, but the guy didn't know that he got off.

I was like, bro, you can't spoil his, that's history. Like, I'm sorry, but I'm not holding back on it. It already happened. You missed it, okay? That is so funny. Yeah, it's like, all these documentaries, they're like, don't spoil the documentary for me. And it's like, just Google it and it's there.

But I didn't say a lot of TV shows are kind of, they don't hit the same, like, euphoria, for example. I never watched it because I saw so many clips that I was like, I get it. I feel like I've seen it. Yeah, it's actually sacrilege in Ireland, but there's a great Irish series called Love, Hate. And I ended up not watching it because it all got, by the time I was going to watch it,

it all got spoiled for me. And it's not, it probably is such a great experience to actually watch these things, but you've made up in your head already what it's about. And you're like, I get it. I get the point. Yeah, it does take away. So I'm 100%, uh,

and also on the spoiler front, it really sucks when like a big game is on or like an episode, like a Game of Thrones episode. In the latter years of Game of Thrones when you're really in the social media, era. Like I had to just like avoid Twitter, to avoid everything and watch it just in case. So it's like, it's a lot of stress just to have the full entertainment experience of this show. But you know what's cool about podcasts? They are like still like long form. Granted, people are like cleaning during it going to work. But it is cool that people still consume like us

talking shit for an hour. I, uh, I'm kind of annoyed because I'm having the, you know, this sensation of like, oh, I can't remember the name. I'm having that with not being able to remember other great twists. It's like annoying me. Oh. The fact that I haven't been able to think of any others. Nothing else comes to anybody's mind before we move on.

I'm like not really a movie buff. I also will like be like, oh, that was cool. And then forget it. Space Jam? TikTok thinks I'm obsessed with the Sopranos, which I enjoy the Sopranos, but I'm not like a massive Sopranos fan. But you know what I fucking love? A twist.

I live for a twist. You live for a twist. You know. Did you see the sixth sense without knowing? I saw it, but I was like too young. I remember I saw it at a time when I was like, this is naughty. I shouldn't be watching this. I told you I saw the Blair Witch having no idea what, like I hadn't heard anything about it. I got back from Ireland. I went to see it that night and somebody was like, yeah, man, this is crazy. Like they just found this footage. Yeah, everyone, no, they told everyone that. Like, I remember thinking. So I had no idea. And I've been watching it at the end that I'd be like, holy shit. Like everyone's like, is this fucking real? Is this? Yeah, that's good. Like, I,

We're no, naturally you would nowadays just go online and be like, oh, it's fake. But before you just had to kind of wonder. Yeah. Now, I have to say, shout out to social media because when the earthquake happened, I know we talked about it last week. But like, had I not had Twitter, I would have definitely had longer period of horror. So being able to go to your phone sometimes is good. Saltburn had a twist. Oh, Solperin had it.

But apparently it's inspired by like a Shakespearean thing or some other British. play or something. Right. I haven't seen it. So no spoilers on the soap burn front, other than we know that there's a penis involved. I'm sick of buying the fast fashion that after like four days it rips and then you put it in the dryer and then it's super small and then I'm like, I'm wasting my money. And that's why I want to upgrade my wardrobe with luxury essentials still at good prices. Quince is here to transform the way you shop with a range of high-quality items that are priced within reach because they cut out the middleman. They partner directly with the top factories. So they have like 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for 50 bucks, organic cotton sweaters, silk tops, and timeless 14-carat gold jewelry.

And they're all priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And they only work with factories that are safe, ethical, and use responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I love them. Des actually loves them too, and he just got a trench coat from Quince, which is so chic, so cool. And I'm obsessed for spring having these, like, silk washable skirts that they have, and they have really cute colors. I really like their gray and they're brown, and they're white for summer. And I also need to stop buying so much cheap jewelry that just, like, turns green or, like, breaks. And I really like the jewelry options that they have.

They have lab-grown diamonds, rings, earrings, wedding bands, bracelets. It's all fine jewelry, and I'm obsessed with it, and it's at a good price. Like a mini-hoop for $30, sign me up. So indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com slash burn for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash burn, B-E-R-N, to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash burn. The makers of Bubly have a new sparkling water. Bubly Burst. I hate water. I think it's boring,

and that's why Bubly Burst is a lifesaver. I struggle with drinking enough water, so I need something fun. And Bubly Burst, their tropical punch and peach mango are my favorite. I literally feel like I'm on vacation, even though I'm just in my room scrolling TikTok in New York City. It's low calorie and zero sugar, but it's still fun. I'm constantly talking, so I need a drink that keeps me refreshed and ready to talk to everyone around me. Also, my dad visited last week, and he took all the tropical punch because he's obsessed with sparkling water that has fun flavors, and bubbly burst is now his go-to also. So each sip adds a burst of fun to your day. It's bursting with fruit flavor, no added sugar, and all smiles. Go grab some bubbly burst.

Spring has sprung. As soon as it hits spring, I immediately think of a few things. Sunsets after 7 p.m., thank goodness. Flowers, hopefully without too many allergies. and the sudden urge to show off my super smooth skin that I've been moisturizing all winter long and has also been extremely hairy and warm. And as the temperature rises, it's time to shave. If I'm going to wear my cute shorts or my cute skirt, I need to shave my legs.

And thank goodness I have Athena Club that has the perfect solution for me. Because I will get blood everywhere, I will mess up a shave with a bad razor. And that's why I'm obsessed with Athena Club's razors. They glide so effortlessly. They have five precision engineered blades. Thank you. The girls need blades. Stop giving me two blades.

It's literally unsafe. And it's super moisturizing with water-activated serum that has hyluronic acid, plus built-in skin guards to prevent razor burn and reduce irritation, which I love. They also have a magnetic hook. So you put it on your shower so it hangs there. so you don't have to somehow, like, keep losing it and throwing it and stepping on it. It's always just hung up on your shower, and I never forget to shave. Also, the Athena Club Razor Kit is an absolute steel at just $10, but it feels very expensive.

My favorite kind of combination. It also has an ergonomic handle that is just gorgeous, has two super sharp razor heads that deliver a great smooth every time. Ready to upgrade your shaving experience? Switch to the best razor on the market and show your skin you care with Athena Club. Head over to A-T-H-E-N-A-C-Lub.com to try their award-winning razor and body products and get 20% off your purchase with code burn, B-E-R-N at checkout. You can also find Athena Club raisers at your local Target store, Tarje. Trust me, you won't look back. Happy shaving. Go ahead.

So I'm 28, and truthfully don't really remember too much life before smartphones, but I will say that, I would give anything to work a nine to five in a world where smartphones don't exist. Imagine it's five o'clock. You leave work, that's it. Now, my boss can email me. My boss can call me. My boss could teams message me. My boss can text me.

There are many ways that my boss and my colleagues can get in touch with me after work hours. And that's just wrong. That's not how life should be. I think companies need strict rules. I think she actually got a message while she was leaving that. Did you hear the vibration? Yeah, someone was like, where are you? You're missing a meeting.

No, but it's like abusive to contact people, and obviously they can see it, to do work when they're not being paid to. Yeah. Isn't there like a movement to, like, legislate for that? Well, I'm very against the whole unlimited vacation days because I was a victim of that, where a lot of these new cool companies would be like, we have unlimited vacation. which reality means like you have to actively say that you don't want to go to work on certain days

and they judge you for it and turns into like no vacation where when I had a job that had vacation days by the end of the other they're like hey you have to take your seven days of vacation you have to so you feel no guilt where with unlimited it's always like oh you want to go on vacation

oh you don't care about the job it was like culty yeah but the whole thing is screwed up because people say oh you know you have a right to turn your phone off at five o'clock. Like, that's what people look for, like, the right to log out or whatever. But then at the same time, it's like, but your bosses, right or wrong, have the right to judge you.

And that's what's fucked up, because it's just a scenario where, as much as you would like to say, hey, it's not cool for you to be judging me, like, people aren't going to judge you. And the reason is because they have the ability, they know they have the ability to contact you. And then you see it on your phone and you know they are stressed and they want you to respond. and it's like 7 p.m.

No, there's definitely a lack of boundaries with work and life and the technology that's enabling it. And also even the fact that you might also be like, this is convenient, it's Saturday, I'm like away with my family and I'm like sitting by the beach, but I'm actually going to get work done.

And on one level you go, well, this is convenient, but then at another level you go, am I taking away from actually like rejuvenating myself? You know what I mean? Like, so it is, it is a, the work-life balance is a very, it's a, that's a smartphone issue. I definitely think people are, it's funny because I'm trying to think of something that I would miss. And I feel like I miss the feeling of just like nothingness of boredom.

Like boredom doesn't exist anymore. We're like, you know, when you're a kid and you're just like, I'm going to dance to the song. And then maybe I'll do some watercolor and then what should I do? Like that kind of just whimsical feeling. Which, like, we never have anymore. Yeah. Because, like, I think a lot of creativity comes from boredom. Yes.

Mic drop. Yeah. A lot of stuff comes from that time of just, like, I have nothing to do. You have to exist and you have to experience things. It's so funny. Yeah, I'm not creative when I'm just, like, consuming content. If anything, you're less creative because you're kind of a sponge to other people's content. Like, you're not able to be, like, clear-headed with your own.

Hey, Hannah. Hey, Dez. I don't know if this is like too earnest for the pod, but something I really miss about life pre-smartphone is I feel like we were all just in the moment way more, whether it was, you know, being out to dinner or, you know, being outside, like I feel like, and I'm guilty of this too. Like if I see something beautiful in nature, I'm whipping out my phone right quick to take a pick. And I just feel like, you know, pre-smartphone, we were much more able to just kind of be without having to be stimulated at all times. So yeah, I think just living in the moment and being aware of our surroundings, I really miss that. Spiritual.

That's so valid. And then the funny thing is, is a lot of the time when you take the picture, it never looks as the sunset never looks as good, the water never looks as good because it's not as good is the real thing. Yes. I also think that there's a performative aspect to it, which is, I think, in the end, unhealthy because all your experience has become about how can I share this with others? Yeah, if you care more about people knowing what you saw, then how did that actually affect you in that moment? Yeah, because what it does is it takes you right away from the experience of this sunset is amazing. Yes. Double rainbow all the way. Now, how do I show people I saw the sunset? Yeah. Yeah.

Did you even see it, though? Did you let, shall feel it? And also, but then it's not like an anxiety, but there's like an excitement or like a yearning to like show it to somebody, you know? Which is like, that's like the wrong feeling. It's so funny because when she was talking about being younger and appreciating beautiful things,

I remember like I would go outside and Shelter Island and I would like look for caterpillars. And every then you find like a really, like a colorful one or like just a beautiful caterpillar. And nowadays, if I'd see a caterpillar, the first thing I would do would be like, I have to take a picture of this caterpillar. Where back then, you don't see a picture of it, you end up playing with the caterpillar for like an hour, where once you take the photo, you're kind of like, okay, the job is done, I saw a caterpillar. Now I'm in my phone, I'm thinking about what's the funny, what's the funny caption? And you miss the experience of bonding with your new caterpillar friend.

A hundred percent. Ooh, I have a good memory. Okay, go. Sleepovers. Right. But that's just childhood. It's true, but sleepovers. without the smartphones.

Oh, right. Because sleepover is what you do. You'd go rent a movie at Blockbuster. You'd watch a movie. And then this might be just more girlhood. But I feel like guys did this too. We'd all cuddle up at his nighttime. Guys didn't cuddle up.

We'd all just start making out. But we would like either you tell ghost stories or you would just like gossip like and I and it was just this sense of like there was no distractions. It was just us alone. talking shit, no one was scrolling their phone or leaving. So it's I think people are still having sleepovers though. For sure, but the concept

of the lack of distraction during the sleepover. Yeah, and also you can be sure that at all those sleepovers past a certain age all the girls or the guys are thinking about funny shit that they can record on their phone to put up on Snap to show everybody that they're having the time of their lives.

Yeah, we never experienced actually a sleepover with smartphones as a kids and I know that it's different. You've got to get the TikTok dance is together. Yes, you got to do all that. It's a lot of performance. That's one thing that I feel we don't talk about enough is that everyone thinks about how they can put it out to an audience. Whether it's a small or a big audience, that cannot be healthy. Well, that's social media because we're all aware of how we're being perceived. And if you feel like you're not being perceived in a good enough way, you can't enjoy your current existence. How to be, poetry must have

gone down quite a bit. Because I feel like poetry was like, no, I'm going to explain. Here comes the explanation, right? So to say you see this most beautiful thing, you automatically want to take out your phone. Like, everyone needs to know about this incredible thing. You know, it needs to be captured. Whereas 150 years ago, he'd see this incredible thing. You'd be like, I can't express how I need, this needs to be expressed in words that don't follow the usual grammar, you know? Yes. I do also feel like maybe people, I don't, I don't, I don't, I I wonder how it affects breakups or, like, moving on from someone. Because nowadays, if you're, like, trying to get over someone or a relationship,

whenever you go to your phone, Instagram's recommending people they know, and, like, you're constantly reminded flashbacks of photos from four years ago. And it's, like, back then, and you also could know exactly what they're doing, what their current girlfriend or boyfriend is doing. Like, it's so accessible. And it's, like, this naughty part of our mind that we're all like, I want to hurt my own feelings tonight. Oh, yeah.

So it's like back then you just wondered where they were. Not that you weren't fucked up about it, but it was a different form of sadness, I guess. Yeah, well, you didn't have the trigger of social media. Yeah. I mean, I definitely had breakups pre-breakups pre-cell phone. They still hurt like a bitch, you know? That's one thing that was constant. Let's take another one.

Hi, Hannah and Des. Love you guys. Love the pod. The main thing I miss about life before smartphones was that people actually knew where they were going. I know we all loved the MapQuest life, but seriously, I have a friend who has to put on our GPS to drive between our homes. And I just feel like it's not that hard to learn your way around.

So I think I miss, yeah, a general sense of direction. Look, I'm guilty. I'm one of those people. If I don't have to know, I don't remember, I don't process it. And I have to look at my phone to whoever. I don't know how I did anything, got anywhere before smartphones. Yeah, I'd like to know if there's like a study about, You know the way they say if you learn a second language

or if you're bilingual or trilingual that you'll have less chance to have dementia? Like all these different things they say about things that you can do with your brain that make you healthier. I wonder have we lost anything by not having to like remember how to get places? Yeah, and I also think about like human nature.

People who were better at directions were probably thriving more. Yeah, it's like an unnecessary skill. Like you think about these like these skills that people used to have that just don't matter anymore. Mm-hmm. I mean, like in the apocalypse,

people would have survived if they were good at. Oh, my God, look at you. Bringing me what this. Chris doesn't do this. Chris never brought us water. I just got a fresh water. Okay, we need to have a discussion with Chris.

Chris. He needs to step it up. No, but like... Is there a lime in that? You can stop massaging me now, David. So, anyway. But, like, I wonder, like, does it matter? Because, like, obviously, I joke about this also.

But, like, we used to remember all those phone numbers. You don't have to remember phone numbers anymore. Like, there's just loads of things that we don't use our brain for anymore. I barely remember my Social Security. Yeah, like, there's loads of stuff we don't have to remember. We don't have to use our brain for anymore. And I would like to know this is something for the future of research for us. I would like to know how that has been good or bad for our brains.

It is funny. that the government, I feel like there has to be people, like, monitoring that obviously our brains have changed with smartphones. But, like, no one's putting out, like, just scientific. I mean, maybe they are. But, like, more of just understanding, like, guys, this is the bad effects of it all.

This is really what's happening. And this is what's happening to us as a whole, period. Like, it's not a debate. This is just facts of what our brains are doing. But I like knowing. I like using ways for traffic, but I like knowing where I'm going. Yeah, every now and then, you'll test yourself. You'll be like, do I know how to get back?

Yeah, and I like, when I get to a new place, I like to get orientated, you know? Yeah, I've never been orientated about anything in my life. Yeah. And obviously, people do have better or worse senses of direction. That's something that exists. You know, some people are better or worse at math. You know, I was never good at math, but I was good at directions. and remembering shit for some reason, you know,

which I don't, you know, I guess that was a good skill for, for comedy, but I would have preferred to be good at math. I feel like the math guys. Were you like bad at math? Yeah, just not good at math. The math guys won. This is basically a podcast about how the math guys have fucking ruined society and taken over.

Great special Nathan McIntosh down with tech. He talks about all this in great detail. Talks about all this in great detail. So the thing that I miss about life before smartphones, was, you know, having a flip phone, I had my razor in middle school, and we would record a song and set it as our ringtones. Now, of course, there were the rich kids that would just buy the song, set as the ringtone, but no, I was not that fortunate. So I would legitimately grab my iPod, put my headphones as close to my phone speakers as possible, and record a song and set it

as my ringtone. Because these days, everybody's phone's on silent, everyone's phones on vibrate, And if your phone is going off, you're probably 55 years old or older. And it's just the standard iPhone ringtone. Like, how boring. Like, I want to hear your ACON smack that going off every time someone calls you. And just, you know, really miss hearing songs when someone calls you. It's just so much more fun. That was like a whole business, the ringtone business.

It's amazing how that's just gone. I remember it was like 99 cents to get a ringtone. Yeah. I remember like actually people reaching out being like, like, hey, you know, people are making money with, you know, one-minute jokes for Motorola phones and stuff like that. That's funny. But did you guys have the, wasn't there like a frog thing? Wasn't it like a ringtone?

In Ireland, there was like, I can't remember exactly what it was, but there was like... We would always just pick, like, dirty songs, and they would, like, go off during class, and you'd be like, huh, it was me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be like, my neck, my back, my... When ringtones go off these days, I'm like, what the fuck is going? No, you're in a senior citizen home. Yeah.

Or your psychopath. But then I never have my ringtone. I very, like, it's so rare unless I'm, like, looking at the phone that I actually answered the phone when somebody calls me. What's your opinion on Do Not Disturb? I feel like you have your phone on Do Not Disturb. But if I do, it's accidental.

I don't, I don't... That is the most... I've never said, do not disturb. Because I've definitely called you, go, sorry, I was on Do Not Disturb, and I'm like, is that a thing he does? No, no, I say it on silent. Oh, you put it on silent. Yeah, and I've never put it on Do Not Disturb.

Is silent vibrate? I don't have the vibrate on. So you're basically, do not disturb. Yeah, I just, I don't know why I don't have the vibrate on? Because, you know, it just wakes me up and stuff, you know. So you're on, do not disturb. Is there an actual do not disturb button? Yeah, that basically your phone doesn't go off when you're getting notifications.

Oh, yeah, but I just, I don't press do not disturb, I just have. You manually do it. Yeah, I do it the old way. You do the old school way. Yeah. but you know sometimes I happen to be looking at my phone that I'll answer more often than not I'm like fuck I missed that call I was waiting for I was waiting for optimum to call fuck

but the thing with do not disturb is you feel so peaceful during it but then you get hit with the least amount of peace you've ever had so it's like when you turn it on yes or you're like oh I have no friends you're like hi mom yeah like why has nobody called me when you land on a plane you're like can't we just see ever oh but even that's gone even the even the whole like, oh, when I get off the plane, there'll be a load of messages. Now you can have Wi-Fi on the plane. You're even can, you know, which of course I'm happy about, but that was a thing of like, hey, I'm going, I'm going to be flying to Australia. I'll talk to you in 24

hours. Yeah. I'll still pretend like, sorry, I was on a plane. Like, I couldn't text you back. Yeah. I used to love going on planes because I was like, I don't feel guilty about anything. Uncontactable. Can't do homework. I can't do anything. I mean, it's probably going to come up about being uncontactable. Let's take another. Hey, Hannah and Des. Something I miss before having smartphones is the ability to sit down, watch a movie or a show, and not have to pick up my phone. Like, there's no way I'm getting through a movie nowadays without looking at, who knows what, TikTok, Instagram, you name it. It feels like it's almost a mental illness. It's the demons inside me, I think. Anyways, I miss that.

know, it's even more fucked up. What? I feel like the only way for me to not look at my phone for extended period time is if I put on another screen. So, like, if I watch a documentary, I'll consciously, like, put my phone to the side. But, like, if there wasn't a documentary on, I'd have to be on my phone. Yeah. Just screen to screen.

But I do feel that you do enjoy something more if you actually get your phone out of the picture. 100%. Now, when you go to the movies, people largely don't look at their phones anymore because it's so obvious. and your phone lights up. So the etiquette is reasonably well adhered to at a cinema. So you're still having the full experience. But actually, I don't go to the movies that much anymore.

Yeah, and back then you couldn't like miss it and rewind. Now people, y'all rewind it 20 times because you keep checking your phone during a bar and board. But you can even do that for live sports. Yeah. You know, that that whole thing of like sprinting to the bathroom and, you know, make sure you don't miss something, it's all gone. Well, yeah, it's that concept of, yeah, it was hard.

back then, but you, like, valued stuff more. Like, when a TV show was on, you're like, I waited all week. Yeah, and you had to experience it. But, you know, HBO Max, that's one thing I think should come back into society. Is I don't, I think the binge has been done, and it's overrated, actually. Do you think it's ruining TV? Well, I think it's overrated because there are certain shows that have been weekly that I've been watching, and I actually, I think you enjoy them more, and you really sort of like savor the one episode.

It's TV edging. It's TV edging. Great expression, Hannah. Thank you. You coined a phrase. Hannah hath coined a phrase here today. Hannah hath. Hey, Hannah and does.

So this isn't something that I've experienced because I'm 27, but I feel like my generation missed out on like high school reunions. Like we already know what everyone's been up to Like Becky just got pregnant Joe just got his second divorce Like we all know this stuff And I feel like it would have been so fun To have these high school reunions Where you'd find out all of this stuff

In one night And then you'd go home and gossip with your girlies And we've just been robbed of that experience Because of Facebook Anyways, I still hope I get like a high school reunion But I don't even know if people are doing them anymore I think that they are They do them, but it's weird, like, there's no formal way people get invited anymore.

Yeah, I mean, my... I mean, I went to the school in New York City, so it's chaos, but... It's hard to say this, but my 30-year high school reunion for my Irish... I went to, like, another school for one year right at the end, 1994, Black Rock College, and their 30-year... They're... I'm trying to separate myself from it. our 30 year is this summer I can't do it in June because it's actually that

we're in Ireland, us together but it's the weekend of that comedy festival so I can't go but they still do exist but yeah it's not the same because everybody is in like you know you're kind of largely aware of what everybody's doing yeah it's fun I actually don't know what most of the people from my high school are doing because

I had Facebook during college and now I don't really use Facebook and if you didn't follow them back then you have no idea but it's so true even just like friends like that you haven't seen in a month it's it's really not very exciting because you're like yeah i know you were in the way with their family and i and then you feel creepy asking them about it because you're like oh that that food you ate looked really good three weeks ago i remember the pasta you posted and they're like it was good and i'm like good chat i'll go fuck myself yeah but uh a nice thought the the concept

of not knowing, like hearing nothing for 20 years and then seeing somebody. Also, it's the romance of like showing back up to your high school reunion, like looking completely different. Yeah, and the bullies are fat. The bullies are fat and the nerdy girl is hot. Yeah. And that guy who like, you always like suddenly notices you.

Yeah, and he just got divorced. And he's coming on to you. And you're like, get away. Get away with it. And you realize he was never good for you. Yeah, you fucking lose it. and then the nerdy guy shows up He's a tech billionaire

He's a billionaire He created smartphones That are ruining everything Yeah And we've come full circle Let's take a couple more Before we wrap it up here Late night

Late night podcast recording here In New York City Hi The thing I was most About not having smartphones Is the ability to just be like I don't know how to do that So I'm not going to do it

Like, I feel like there's so much more responsibility now. If somebody asks me about a fact or, I don't know, asks me to look up a number, give them directions. Like, I feel like I have an obligation to help and do things and get shit done. I really just want to be like, sorry, I don't know. Leave me alone. Wait, I love her. Yeah, it's a good one.

She's me. She's like, I don't know, and I'm not going to figure it out. Yeah, but also, like, because you. YouTube has, like, the way to do... So, my, I agree with her because the internet makes me think that I can do shit. And I don't, even though the internet's telling me how to do it,

I'm still not great at it. Also, a lot of these YouTube videos, I'm not watching a two-hour thing, like, get me to the point, okay? And then also some of these people, you can't, in a YouTube video, learn the skill sometimes of something, someone that's been doing it for a while,

just showing you doesn't always convert. But it is, even, like, when you're having a conversation, People used to debate. Now it's like, just Google it. Just Google it. Where before they were like, do you think that like this or that? So debates have definitely slacked.

There was one time I had that the BMW convertible. It's always giving me problems. And BMW parts are like insane. I hate when that happens. They're insanely expensive. And for some reason, I came up why, but I knew what was wrong, like in terms of like, I knew the part that needed to be replaced. And I went online and there's a YouTube video and it was like, yeah, you know, you just

You just buy this and it was like really, you know, it's cheap. It was chief to source secondhand. And YouTube made me feel like I would be able to source this part and fucking change it. And I bought it and this part arrived wasn't the right part. And there wasn't a fucking hope in hell that I was going to actually get this fucking, like I was going to have the hood up like some fucking, you know, Italian guy from the 80s, you know, outside his house and Queens. That's when you go to the comments and the comments that'll expose.

They'll be like, yeah, I bought it. wasting my money. There's no fucking way to actually do this. It's actually a harder than it looks. Not a chance. I only have one hand now because I tried to do this shit. But yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. Like, it literally really made me think that I could become a mechanic, you know? Which is, it's ridiculous. Like, I can hardly put an IKEA cabinet together. And now suddenly I'm a mechanic. Not a chance. A self-aware king. What? I said you're a self-aware king. A self-aware, oh, 100%. DIY has never been my, has never been my thing. But I didn't know that when I first met you. I just assumed

because you're a man, you know, to put stuff together. And I thought you did a pretty good job in the beginning. Yeah, you know. You were really putting on a show. It's all early parts of the relationships. It's not just in the bedroom. It's in the DIY department, too. It's like, hey, I'm handy. Yeah, because I was like, you tried to put so much,

I guess I would like, I guess it took probably. It was a pandemic, man. Yeah, and it probably took like seven hours longer than it should have, but I didn't know. It was nothing to do. We put a cabinet to do. We put a bed together. A bed together.

Let's take one more before we go. I miss being able to just ignore the world and pretend like I didn't see phone calls and texts. Like I loved just being like I didn't see it. I didn't have my phone because now your phone is like glued to your hand and everyone sees everything you're doing. If you're active on social media, if you post something on your story, if you send a DM by accident to someone you're ignoring, they know you're on your phone. They know you're on your phone. That's so valid. And so it's kind of like, oh, I didn't text you back because I didn't have my phone

or I didn't see it because I'm not glued to my phone. I feel like it's a way better excuse to like be antisocial and lay in bed. I do think there's a special place in hell, though, for people who will reach out to you and then see you like post something social media and then be like, I know you're on your phone. It's like, clearly I don't want to answer for some reason. and like, we're all on our phone, you know that. Because you don't want to feel guilty, like, oh, now I can't. I know you'll definitely lie to someone and be like, oh, I'm sick tonight.

And then you're, like, out at a party. You're like, no one tagged me. Oh, yeah, exactly. But that's the thing that sucks. Like, your social media, it's like, I'm in this place. And then suddenly, like, somebody who, not even somebody like that you're, you don't want to see, but just like, there's not enough time in a day. And they're like, oh, I saw you were here and you didn't reach out.

It's like, I'm sorry, I just didn't have all the time. So another place in hell is for people who text you, Hey, are you in the city on this day? For what? Tell me what it's about. Give me the full sentence. Whoa, yeah. Don't just say, are you going to be around?

Because it depends. It depends on what you want from me. Yes. That's great. When we were like, hey, are you around? For what? Yeah, for what? Exactly.

Better be interesting. Yeah, because I'll change my mind real quick. I'll be like, oh, sorry. I'm actually in Europe that day last second. Figured it out. Yeah, because like, the only way to get away with it I was like, oh, sorry, I lost my phone. Like, you have to... If people

ask me, are you around this day? I just say I'm not. Because if you can't tell me what it is, I'm going to assume it's not something I'm going to want him to do. Yeah, I'm not around. Hey, are you... It's hard to stay on top of all the people that you lied to. So, like, obviously, you know, like, there just becomes too many days of the week where it's like,

I have to be incognito. For Sarah on Tuesday, for Bob on Wednesday, I can't say that I'm in... You know, I can't say that I'm back. You're literally putting yourself in witness protection. Yeah, I can't say that I'm back doing shows on Friday because I told them that I couldn't do the show. You know?

Like, it's very hard. That could be, that should be like an app of like, you just key in all the places you're not supposed to be. Yeah. All the people that are not supposed to see. And then when you have to share lies with other people so they can lie for you and they remember your lies. Or you lie about people and you're like, hey, I'm with you. Are you old enough to remember the advertisement for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? If you tell one lie, it leads to another.

If you tell two lies to cover each other, if you tell three lies, oh, brother, a life for the worries and fears. Soon you lie and lie without even trying, and you try to tell, but you keep multiplying, and she'll be disfective and, left when you should. When you lie, you're closing the door on everything good. That was a commercial for Jesus Christ,

Church of Latter-day Saints. Is that Mormonism? Yes. Isn't Mormonism a lie? Well, anyway, we're not going to get controversial. Thank you so much for listening to Burner Ford. No, but that was a, that was it. It's one of these commercials, they stick with you.

That was crazy. Well, well covered. Well done. David, thank you so much for coming in. For sure. Next week we're not around, David. Next week we're not recording. We're not going to be here next Wednesday.

No, because he gets you water. We only want David. Yeah, Chris has been. I love our side storyline of Christopher's David narrative now. Chris is just Giggly Squad. Thanks for calling in. Talk later. Don't forget, you know, go check out our shows and different things, all that stuff.

Yes, I'm going to be in Rochester. Where else? Jacksonville. You just did Rochester. Nope. Yeah, Portchester. Portchester. Oh, my God, I promoted the wrong thing on Giggly Squad.

Portchester, Jacksonville. And then Dublin. I'm coming back. Second show, Bigger Street. Let's go. In Dublin. And all my shows, Desbishop. net, forceless, live.

Check out all those dates that I added. Dot net. I know. Well, like somebody got the doc. It doesn't matter. Don't have time. Old school websites feel so old school, but yet still so important. All right.

Thanks, guys. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Dez. Des here. Hannah Giggler. Looking forward to September to watch that special. Can't wait. So the thing I miss most about life before smartphones is the simplicity of just fucking shit up and having fun as a kid.

like going and doing stupid shit riding your bike for hours not having to go tell your freaking everybody what you're about to eat or any of that shit i miss that the most just you know almost getting kidnapped the life life before smartphones you know that kind of life as you can tell i'm a fucking millennial anyway also snake i miss Nokia with snake bring that shit back and we'd all just be better people all right have a good day love you guys bye Hi guys. The thing I miss about life before smartphones is newspaper. I know it sounds silly, but I'm in a age gap relationship, and my daddy actually reads the news every day, which I didn't even know people did. But my point is, he sits at the breakfast table reading the news on his phone.

And from a kid's point of view, they just see dad on his phone every morning at the table, which I don't allow, you know, screens at the table. And we don't really go on our phones in front of our kids that much. So I don't love that they just see him on his phone every morning. They don't know he's reading the news because, you know, they don't really know what that is. But you get the point. So I feel like it could be better if we had, like, the newspaper, it just seems better. So I don't know if they still do, like, newspaper subscriptions, where they deliver it to your house.

I don't know how that works. Anyways, love you guys. Bye. Hi, Hannah and Des. I'm not that old So I don't have that much memory Before the time of smartphones But even as a kid

One thing I miss is wondering Like if I ever have a question about anything I just look it up And then I know it immediately And I just never have to wonder about anything And before there were smartphones I guess you looked it up and like the encyclopedia, or you wondered.

And we don't really do that anymore.