Berner Phone - Berner Phone #39: Debunking Old Wives' Tales

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

We were all told as kids that we wouldn't survive if we went outside with wet hair. This week, we are debunking old wives' tales to find out if everything we've been told by our parents was a lie.  z...ocdoc.com/berner asteproallergy.com goodr.com/BERNER for free shipping

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. What's up, my little dialers? I think your voice is deeper in the evening, Hannah. Were you planning on saying that? No, I literally just suddenly... My voice is not deeper.
Starting point is 00:00:27 No, I just woke up from a nap. This is the latest that we've ever recorded the pod, I feel. It's because I woke up from a nap. By the end of the episode, my voice will be shrieky high and annoying. You haven't done your vocal warm-ups. La la la la la, she-seals, yellow leather. She sells. She sells seashells by the sea-shel. Great episode.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Great episode. I'm into old husbands. You're into old wives. Well, you know, the old wives' tale, I was concerned that it might be politically incorrect. But what I do think is that it does, sort of comes from a sex. time. Yes. But there's also something I think kind of pro-woman about it because it's sort of saying
Starting point is 00:01:05 that, you know, back in the day it was a woman that had the wisdom. However, the way that it's perceived today is these old sort of like superstitious non-scientific things. So I can understand why some people don't love the term. I feel like old wives tale is in general just like
Starting point is 00:01:21 generational whispers of things that have worked. I think of like the Italian non-nors who were like oh, you got to put some garlic eat some garlic to heal your flu, that kind of stuff. Yes, and there was a lot. A lot came in. Some I remembered, and some actually were like I hadn't thought of in like 30 years.
Starting point is 00:01:45 But also, I do want to say that there is no alternative term. So I apologize to anybody who was offended. But really, what other term could you use to- We're handcuffed? What, no, what could you use, what would you use to describe it if it wasn't like old wives tale? Because old wives tale just gives you the thought of what we're talking about. Yeah, it's like stuff my mom used to tell me. Also, where are the dads?
Starting point is 00:02:10 Where are the dads? But this is the thing. It's like as if dads have never passed on misinformation. You know? Like, honestly, I feel like old dad's tales are like crying is a sign of weakness. Yeah. But, you know, like everything with men. Like, is there really no crying in baseball?
Starting point is 00:02:27 seen many baseball, I saw him cry yesterday during the Mets game. Who said there's no crying? Oh. That's like a... Oh, right. But I, honestly, when you think about old dad's tales, it's all, immediately just becomes darker. Old Wives' Tales are like flat seven up when you're sick or, you know?
Starting point is 00:02:43 But old, old dad's tales are like, you know, if you're going to go in for the kill, you cut it as hard. Actually, that's so perfect. Old Wives' Tales is to heal and the men are to destroy. To destroy, to hurt. So manly. No, but really often to hide, to mask pain, to mask emotional pain. Anyway, let's not get bog down.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Speaking of masking emotional pain, we have some comedy shows coming on. Well done. We had a discussion on the way down. We've got to plug our shows at the beginning of the episode. For all our Irish little dialers, I'm going to Dublin. I have two shows at Vickers Street. That's right. Check them out.
Starting point is 00:03:20 I'm also going to London. Well, let's just say that you had one show in Vicka Street and it sold out so fast that you added one. Yes. And then the London show, I thought sold out, but I think they were holding tickets. So there's available for both London shows. I'm coming with my mom. And then I'm also... And the Dublin one is very important because she added a Tuesday night, not the busiest night. And I can't have a situation where my wife doesn't have a full venue. This isn't just about Hannah.
Starting point is 00:03:44 It's not good for the family optics. Keeping up appearances here. Yes. So Tuesday, what is it, May the 27th or 28th or something? No idea. The last Tuesday of June. Tuesday. The last Tuesday of June.
Starting point is 00:03:56 And then I'm in Philly, like, ASAP. Like, I'm Philly tomorrow or tonight. Probably by the time this is up, it will be Thursday night. So run to the venue now. Thursday night. Thursday night. My fourth show. Very limited tickets.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Very limited tickets. For the fourth show. Sold out three. We're keeping up appearances here. This is, there's no, there's no, how is not begging for people to buy tickets? And I just announced a new one for Highland Park, California, late August. I'm going to Calgary. and then Anaheim's coming up,
Starting point is 00:04:27 and then it's literally just giggly squad shows in the fall. And we're adding new places. I'm begging people to come to my show. No, Des, Des, I'm not concerned. Des, has been selling quite well. I've been selling quite well. I'm in Chicago next weekend. Well, Rosemont.
Starting point is 00:04:44 The Chicago show is actually sold out, but the Rosemont shows, there's tickets available. So that's out in the burbs, out by the airport, but it's a great venue. And then I'm in Nashville two weeks later, the weekend before Hannah shows in Ireland. I'm in Nashville and then I go to see Hannah in Ireland. And then Philadelphia, that's actually almost sold out.
Starting point is 00:05:03 So if you get that sold out quick, that's Thursday in July. Pittsburgh and June, I am, the Low Live Beer Hole, something like that. But the one that really I'm begging people to go to is comedy at the Carlson in Rochester. Oh, what a great room. In August. What a great room. Yeah, not peak comedy time. So if you're in Rochester or nearby, I highly recommend you go to the comedy at the Carlson.
Starting point is 00:05:28 And then my Toronto shows are nearly sold out in October. So get on that. Well, that was fun for us. That was a lot. The memorization was impressive. I'm a little better remember the dates. I'm very bad with the dates. I don't know where I am till I'm on the stage.
Starting point is 00:05:42 And I'm like, holy shit. I'm in Canada. Oh, I added a date Uncle Vinnie's in New Jersey also. Hell yeah. Those two are sold out. Oh, and by the way, it hasn't even got up on sale yet. But I am actually doing Stanford, Connecticut, June 19th. Very exciting.
Starting point is 00:05:55 Stanford, Connecticut, June 19th. Chris loves that. That just got added, the New York Comedy Club in Stanford, not to get confused. Yeah. I really feel like we're morning radio right now. Yeah, represent, represent. So, anyway, Stanford, Connecticut. For all you corporate girlies out there who work in Stanford.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Reverse commuting. Yeah, exactly. Diageo is headquartered out there anyway. Shout out that, no. Oh, are that? out there? The insurance company? They certainly are. They certainly are. Well, can we have some insurance? That'll be great. Yeah, exactly. Can we get off Obamacare?
Starting point is 00:06:29 Anyway, it doesn't matter how well you do in America, man. There's only, you got to get a job that gives you health benefits. It's like you can sell out three shows in Philly and nearly sell out your fourth one a day before the show, but you're still going to have Obamacare unless you're in SAG. Anyway, do I want to be in SAG? No, I'm just handy for the benefits. Yeah. You know, but you've got to do a lot of acting. Do you have any old wives' tales that you... I mean, the classic one is if you go outside with your hair wet, you're going to die. Well, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Starting point is 00:06:58 That was the number one. That was the number one that came family... Survey says the most people. I do think also when you have long hair and your kid, your hair is wet most of the time. Like, it's never fully dried. Especially the summer. I spent my entire childhood worried about going out with wet hair.
Starting point is 00:07:16 I went to University of Wisconsin. I would shower after. shower after practice or something and I'd go somewhere. I'd do an ice bath and then go to the apartment and I remember my hair would freeze off like it would like you could crack it. Yes, I was going to, I was about to say the same thing. Come out of a swim practice in Bayside Queens on like a cold Tuesday night, frozen hair. Yeah, it's fun. It was fine. Have a good time. Everyone chill out. And then the crossing your eyes that they get stuck. Which is what came up last week, which is why we even thought about this.
Starting point is 00:07:47 But coincident, because people are said, you go outside what went, hey, you get sick. No, I'll tell you what gets you sick. Having children and being around children. So, think about, that's the- Mic drop. That's the actual reason. Every time I hang on my friend's kids, I get sick. They're just little gremlins.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Little vectors, man. Well, cracking your knuckles does not give you arthritis. Oh, really? Yeah, you want to Google that, Chris? Because that is your job today. Chris is the debunker today. Because part of this was your old wife's tail, and you can do debunk it, if you like. But we have a debunker.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Chris, who's very tired and he has bad allergies at the moment. So he's, it's really a tough day for Chris. I'm on my period. So, wow. Cracking your knuckles may aggravate the people around you, but it is probably won't raise your risk for arthritis. Yeah. We did it. It doesn't aggravate people around. It doesn't aggravate me. I like the sound of it, but I don't like doing to myself. Right. I'm a big cracker. I think it's cool and other people do it. But for me, it gives me, it gives me, Yeah, but some people really hate it. I don't like when people hawk loogies.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Yes. I think that's where I draw the line. Yeah, but crack in the knuckles was a big one for me growing up because I was a big knuckle cracker. Still I am. Yeah, and so it doesn't give you arthritis. I feel like there was something about whiskey for a sore throat. No, whiskey for a toothache.
Starting point is 00:09:01 A toothache, yes. Cotton whiskey. And then a sore throat, you put salt in water and then you gurgle it. Yeah, but I don't know if those are... Wild water gurgling may actually be. But again, we could debunk it here, Chris. You've been put under heavy duty very early. The cotton, the whiskey thing, I actually, I think what it does is get you a little drunk as a kid,
Starting point is 00:09:26 so you actually do get a bit of pain relief? So on the gargling with all water, yes, it can help reduce pain and discomfort from a sword throat. Okay, so there is some use for that. So, well, listen, before we get going properly, you might as well look up, is there any pain relief from whiskey on cotton for a toothache? because I definitely had that when I was a kid. Wow, we were putting Chris to work. Yeah, Chris, unfortunately, Chris.
Starting point is 00:09:47 He looks like he's trying to crack a code to a nuclear explosion. The idea that whiskey were a strong spirial ease toothache is a myth. While alcohol can ease the mind and dull the senses, it's not an anesthetic. Whiskey does very little to kill the bacteria. So some alcoholic was like, guys. Yeah, my friend came back from, I think, Dublin, and he brought the flu back, which he gave to me. It was the most sick I've ever been in my life. And it was syllabus week, which is where everybody goes out and drinks very heavily.
Starting point is 00:10:15 And he had the flu the whole time. If I just said celibate week, I was like, that's weird. He had the flu the whole time and was putting a glass of whiskey in a, this was very unsafe also, a glass of whiskey in a boiling pot of water to make a warm whiskey. Oh, hot toddy. Oh, yeah, hot toddy. That is correct. That is correct.
Starting point is 00:10:33 So Hot Tadis don't do shit? Well, they make you warm, they warm you. Let's find out. Well, like, find out. No, I just thought it. I just thought the, hot toddy has good marketing. That's for sure. But a hot toddy, I felt, like, just kind of warms you.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Google basically just said FU. While there is no scientific evidence that hot toddies can cure cold, some people find them helpful. Oh, right. I never thought it cured a cold. I just thought the same as a cup of tea. Like, it just kind of gets the warmth into you. The tea is good, but they sometimes say the whiskey helps.
Starting point is 00:11:01 I literally go to the bar. I'd be like, I need a hot toddy. I'm sick. Yeah, with clothes. They put cloves in them. Yeah. All right, so let's go to one, Chris. We got so many.
Starting point is 00:11:10 thank you so much to the dialers very active sorry I was holding back a burp there in case anybody was wondering what was gonna because I'm drinking you were breathing in as you were talking which is a inverse affirmative anyway we talked about that before let's go
Starting point is 00:11:26 okay so it's not technically an old wives tale but Cardi B said that a hoe never gets cold and now science literally is backing her up on that And in, like, 2021, there was some academic study published in the British Journal of Social Psychology, and they confirmed, and I quote, scantily clad women are less likely to catch a chill than they're covered up counterparts. So, a ho never gets cold.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Hi, guys. Oh, sorry, he's gone. Oh, my God. See, this is tired, allergy-ridden, Chris. Not getting me of my best right now. Technological. I need a hot toddy. I can't believe you went with that one.
Starting point is 00:12:10 first, Chris. It was at the top of the list, but I, it spoke to me. It spoke to me. It said, pay me. Are you a ho? It's not cold out. That's besides the point. I thought she was going to say, like, the more orgasms you have, the more, you get warmer after orgasms. But it's interesting, because they always say you can't go out like that, you catch your death. And then, but there is always this thing about, it's funny that it was a British study, because there's always the thing about women in Newcastle, Newcastle, Northern England, like, they go out, like, quote, tart it up, it's a terrible term. But you know what I mean? Like, they got like, short skirts, cut off tops, a lot of skin,
Starting point is 00:12:42 and they're out in the middle of winter. No jackets, because you don't want to worry about your jacket when you're out. And everyone's like, they're a hearty breed. So they're saying jackets are a myth? Well, I think what they're saying is that they're less likely to get a chill. But that's what this woman is saying. When you say get a chill, does that mean get sick? You know, like, when you get like the chill in you.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Oh. You know when you suddenly like feel freezing? Yeah. I mean, that's what we did at the bar at Wisconsin. We would just go out snow in our scantily clad outfits because I don't want, I'm not bringing a coat all night to all these parties. You just had to suck it up. They called it the liquid layer.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Have a shot and go. The bigger issue here is Cardi B being referred to as an old wife. But that was a fresh one. But I don't know, I wouldn't even know how for you to look that up right now. No, I did. Well, what I searched was do holes get cold. And that study that she was talking about literally came out first thing. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Okay. Okay. So anyway, you can look that up. Maybe she was referring that like hose and, They're never alone. They're always cuddling. But coincident enough, in China, they're obsessed with wrapping up for the weather. So, like, in the winter, like, you have to be wrapped up.
Starting point is 00:13:48 They wear, like, Long John's. So it'll be interesting to see if this study proves that the Chinese are overly worried about the layers. Well, it's funny because, again, at Wisconsin, the second it would hit, like, 33 degrees, Fahrenheit. People, like, guys would just start wearing basketball shorts. And it was just these, like, sturdy. corn-fed Midwest dudes that the second it was like close to 40 degrees they would start wearing and I was like what that what did they do but it's like they just they were used to the colds yeah hardy people as long as it wasn't freezing they would wear their shorts and they were it was
Starting point is 00:14:23 kind of a manly thing it was kind of like yeah fuck boys stay warm too yeah fuck boys shut out boys and hose hit it chris okay this is so stupid um but my husband and I have actually thought about this a lot um so my mother-in-law for like the first two two years of my daughter's life would insist that we needed to cut her hair so that it would get really thick. But it's just the dumbest, like, old wives tale, because how in the hell does cutting the end of your hair make more hair grow in? Because to get your hair actually thicker, you actually genuinely need more hair growing out. It makes zero sense. And I got into, like huge fights with my husband
Starting point is 00:15:08 about this. He was just insisting that his mom was right. And I was just like to Google it. This is so dumb. It's not going to make her hair thicker. Also, we both have like thick as fuck hair. Like, why are we trying to make this child's hair even thicker than it's already going to be?
Starting point is 00:15:23 Just absurd. Gonna break a brush. Yeah, I wasn't, I mean, I guess I was aware of people saying, oh, if you shave it, it grows back thicker, but I wasn't aware. I didn't know that people say, oh, do that for kids so that they have thick hair. No, I never heard of that. could see like it looking healthier, but also I feel like that's something where if you get into
Starting point is 00:15:40 that heated of a fight, you're like, let's turn to Google. Yeah, you got to Google that. Another great example of how lucky you are, Hannah. Another great example. You don't have to deal with the mother in-law. Yeah. I also do have to say, I have a real phobia of getting my haircut. And one thing I am weird about is my hair. Like, I, if it's an inch too short, I feel like I'm the ugliest little teenage boy ever. So I will get, like, dentist nervous while getting my hair cut. Really? Yeah, and I'll fight with the people because they'll be like, I'm like, I want to trim,
Starting point is 00:16:15 but only like one and a half inches, two inches max. And for some reason that people who cut hair, like, refuse to do that. Like, they don't, they don't really have a, what, a horse in the fight? What is it? Skin in the game? They really have skin in the game. What in the fight? I think it's dog in the fight.
Starting point is 00:16:31 A dog. A dog. They don't have a dog in the fight. Why don't they just, I'm paying you 100. dollars cut it short cut it very a little bit and they always cut like four inches because it looks the healthiest and then I get
Starting point is 00:16:43 upset oh but I never say anything obviously I'll never say anything yeah I don't have a I don't have any barber anxiety now there wasn't there was a lot of these hair ones and this is one that I still think a lot of people think is true that if you pull a gray hair
Starting point is 00:16:59 well the person that messaged in it might even be there but you don't even have to play it but if you pull the gray hair what is it What do you think it is? That the gray hairs, like, grow straight up. But I think it's that gray hairs in general have a different texture, so they're always growing like that. Yeah, well, this woman had said,
Starting point is 00:17:14 if you pull a gray hair, then more grows back in its place. Oh, that's possible, too. Yeah, so one day Paige noticed that I was growing some grays from reality TV, and she, like a monkey, like a monkey mom, started pulling the rays out. And, like, honestly, it was fun. I was like, good, like, you can see the grays. and then my mom was like, oh no, that means they're going to grow straight up. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:39 So what are we getting on gray hairs? I didn't search the straight up thing yet. I'll search that next, but yeah, it won't grow like more gray hairs around it. One will replace it. Yes, and that's it. So people really do freak out about the pulling gray hair. You actually, I was going to pull one out of your hair and you were like, no, don't. It's bad.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Yeah, I was like, don't pull it. Yeah. I feel like hairdressers tell me don't pull it. Yeah, but I think it comes from this. I don't think it causes more grays. I think it affects the texture of it. Yeah. And so without playing it, you know, since we're so on the shaving thing, did you
Starting point is 00:18:14 have any old wives tales about shaving the upper part of your leg? So my whole thing was that my mom just never told me to, so I never did to this day. So Chris, actually, can you see on the list the shaving the upper part of the leg? I want to see what the actual old wife. Wives tale was on that. Hi, Mother. Des, nice of you to join us
Starting point is 00:18:38 after coming back from your family holiday. Who the hell told us not to shave above the knee? Like, why was everyone's mother so angry with us when we would shave above the knee? Like, my mom actually told me
Starting point is 00:18:55 that I was going to become, like, a gorilla and just have hair from, like, my chin down because I shaved above the knee. And then I saw a TikTok recently that it was, like, you know, your pants are going to rub on your thighs and then the hair's going to get thinner. Like, you're kidding yourself. That's not going to happen. So, um, I've been shaving
Starting point is 00:19:13 above any since I was 12. Just wanted to admit that. Thanks. So I have hairy thighs. And during the winter, people are like, okay, it's free hair. But like, during the summer, it's blonde. I mean, it's very light hair throughout the year because I never shaved it. So like, I'm just, I have nice soft hair on my thighs and then I have hard hair on my calves. For anyone who was wondering. Well yeah, I remember people saying do we have any information on what actually
Starting point is 00:19:43 is there any reason or not to shave above your thigh? I should shave my knees but I don't because it's like I always cut myself but I be like, oh your knees are really hairy and I'm like who cares? Who cares is hair on your knee? Yeah, I recently had my knee shaved. One left
Starting point is 00:19:59 knee shaved and I'm so unhaired that like I didn't even really notice the difference. I'm speaking from an Italian place, and Des is in an Irish, you know, place. There's hairy Irish guys, too. You know that, right? Not you. Not me, no. When was the first time you got a hair on your chest?
Starting point is 00:20:20 Oh, one of these six hairs? When you met me? One of the six hairs that's there? Very late. Aidan has a hairy chest. Aidan has a hairy chest. It kind of seems like it originated in the 40s, and, you know, Basically, it seemed like they were just trying to sludge it is what it was.
Starting point is 00:20:36 And then they came up with a reason, sort of like, oh, it's going to grow up crazy. Oh, no, that's, no, it's not true. That's the whole point of it. But how come the hair is, like, black on my legs, on my shins, but then my thighs, it's soft. I actually think that there may just be a textual difference. For example, like the mustache texture is different to the cheek texture on your face. Actually, you're right, because I feel like with guys, they're the same. Like, their calf hair is thicker than they're...
Starting point is 00:21:01 Yeah. Yeah. So, you could have been, you know, waxing it or getting it lasered or, you know, you could have been doing that. And it's something, you know, you can think about it. It's common. I might do. I'm supposed to, but I just can never. Whenever I have free time, I'm never like, you know how I'd like to use this?
Starting point is 00:21:20 Getting fucking electrifying my pores to get all my hair follicles to die. I know. Like, maybe I'd rather take a nap. It's just so funny because Paige is so into getting her hair lasered. It's her favorite thing. And you're, like, resistant to it. Well, Pete, that's our thing. We're yin-yang.
Starting point is 00:21:36 That's our bit. Oh, yeah. I can't be all laser. Then it would confuse everyone. Oh, yeah. They'd be like, who's who? Who's who? Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:21:43 You're both too smooth. Paige, from the day I met her, she goes, I'm hairless below my eyebrows. I want to be like a, what she call it? A dolphin? A naked mole rat. A naked mole rat or like, yeah, baby dolphin. All right, let's take, let's get off the hair topic. You have to get christen.
Starting point is 00:21:59 There was such heavy, there was such heavy hair. stuff. Does you have to get Chris into bushes. Whoa. You have to get me into? What is it? You want to you? Hannah. Break that down? She basically saying, I need to get you comfortable with the pubic hair. Did you just
Starting point is 00:22:15 assume my bush preference? Yeah. Well, I do know you grew up in the porn time where it was all no hair. Yeah. You're from the smooth generation. That's fair. They pop up here and there. Your voice just cracked.
Starting point is 00:22:31 I don't like talking about vagina I'm not comfortable I'm not comfortable All right Come on, let's get off their hair Sorry, got everyone uncomfortable I don't have to bring it back to Poonan Okay, an old wife's tale that
Starting point is 00:22:48 I'm pretty sure has been debunked But maybe somebody else is like It's working for them But having oysters And then apparently getting super horny after No, I mean, I love an oyster Happy Hour, but I've never had it where I'm like, okay, we got to get home immediately because I'm in the mood.
Starting point is 00:23:07 I don't know about you guys. Maybe you have to have more than I'm having. I don't know. I have like a half dozen, a dozen some days. I don't know. I think that's debunked. I don't, I don't think it's true. Yeah, there definitely has to be a dosage if they're going to say like certain things cause things. I always assumed that there was an element of the eroticism of the way that you have to eat the oyster and perhaps the similarity to anatomy to the sort of smushy, you know, the way an oyster feels. Okay. I think, but Chris is, Chris is already, what are you going to say?
Starting point is 00:23:38 It's always an appetizer, so whatever happened, you still have like a bunch of meals, and then you're bloated by the end of it. I've never once ate an oyster and been like, I need to hump the corner of this table. Yeah, I never understood that oyster. Also, there's hotter things for people to eat. I don't think, it doesn't turn, it doesn't turn me on to see a guy eating an oyster. I don't know, maybe it does. It's kind of all over the place.
Starting point is 00:24:00 It says there's no scientific evidence that oysters increase that drives in humans, but then it, like, lists some of the, like, I don't know, ingredients elements. I'm not a scientist. It says zinc may increase testosterone levels and help maintain healthy levels of dopamine. Omega-3 fats may increase blood flow to prevent issues such as erectile dysfunction. Okay, so it doesn't. No. No.
Starting point is 00:24:21 No, but that's a good old wife's tale. Yes, and also because you're basically saying, yes, this is hot and sexy, I'm ordering it, it's kind of a statement. On a first date. It's like fancy. Because like, you know, champagne and strawberries, I mean, obviously... Wait what? I never heard you say strawberries.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Strawberries. Strawberries. Oh, well, champagne and strawberries. I guess the champagne can loosen the inhibitions a bit. But like, it's just like sometimes you just decide something is romantic. What is hotter, me eating a strawberry, a banana, or an oyster? Oh, I'm going to say strawberry. I thought you're going to say you chewing regardless is not turning into issue.
Starting point is 00:25:11 Banana chewing is an issue. Banana chewing is one of the great misophonic offenses. My brother hated when I ate. Oh, chewing bananas, man. Banana. Yeah, also, this is kind of crazy fact about me, but I'm not a big oyster girl. Like, I love clams. I love steamers.
Starting point is 00:25:29 I eat literally everything. I've, oysters to me, it's never, I think I might have had, like, a big one before, and it gets kind of lost in your mouth, and then you're like... I think a lot of people can have had an early bad experience with oysters. I think I tried it too young venage. I wasn't able to fully handle it. Yeah, I was in my 30s before I ever tried an oyster. And I was shocked how much I liked them.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Yeah. But I was late to the party. It's giving a little bit of, like, like a bad kid. sometimes eating an oyster. Oh, yeah, like with an inexperienced kisser. Yeah, like there's just, over-exuberant, sloppy wet. There's wetness coming in, and they're touching places in your mouth you didn't want to be touched. I remember my first kiss, I remember thinking, oh, it's like eating a clam.
Starting point is 00:26:14 And I was like, I don't really want to do that again. Do you know the Chinese think that seahorses give them virility? Because there was a seahorse farm in Connemar and Ireland, and their big marks. market was China. They were farming seahorses, like fish farming seahorses, and selling them to China because then the Chinese make Chinese medicine that's meant to be good for your virility. I forgot sea horses were real. Yeah, they're real. And Chinese think that gives you a boner, as it turns out. I haven't even bothered Googling that. And we don't need to. It's not an old wine stuff. We're not getting into debunking Eastern medicine. That'll get controversial.
Starting point is 00:26:57 have a new sparkling water bubbly burst. Ooh, I'm so excited. You guys know I do not like drinking plain water. I think it's boring and I don't like it. But bubbly burst is changing the game for hydration. It comes in six fun flavors and I'm most excited about tropical punch and peach mango so I could pretend that I'm on a tropical vacation even though I'm just scrolling my phone in my tiny New York City apartment. It's low calorie, zero sugar and it's fun. I'm constantly talking so I need a drink that keeps me refreshed. and ready to annoy everyone around me. Bubbly burst is my new go-to.
Starting point is 00:27:31 My dad came to my apartment last week, actually drank all of them, so I need to get more. Each sip adds a burst of fun to your day. It's bursting with fruit flavor, no added sugar, and all smiles. If you're in New York City, or really anywhere else right now, the pollen is an issue. Everyone is struggling with allergies. So that's why I'm so excited about my partnership with Astopro.
Starting point is 00:27:53 It's a first-of-its-kind nasal allergy spray. It's the fastest 24-hour over-the-counter allergy spray that starts working in 30 minutes while other allergy sprays take hours. Ooh, this is amazing. Astopro is the first and only 24-hour steroid-free allergy spray. It delivers full prescription strength, indoor and outdoor allergy relief from nasal congestion, running an itchy nose, and sneezing. I definitely feel it once allergy season hits, and it makes me feel sick, it makes me feel groggy, it makes me feel horrible, I feel like I have a headache, and that's why Astopro is amazing. Before I get on stage, I'll give myself a little spray, and then I feel like a new woman.
Starting point is 00:28:32 I carry it with me everywhere, and it's been a game changer for this time of year. Astopro always has my back and my nose. Get fast-acting nasal allergy symptom relief with Astopro. Go to Astoproallergy.com for discounts. You can get Astopro and go today. A-T-E-P-R-O-Alogy.com. S-F-X-P-R-D-Spro-D-Spray, mnemonic. Astopro and go. Use as directed for relief of nasal conjection, runny nose, sneezing, and itchy nose due to allergies.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Have you guys heard of gooder sunglasses? I'm so excited about this because they're stylish sunnies starting at only $25 a pair. I hate buying expensive sunglasses because I will. I always will 100% of the time. Lose it immediately. The last time I bought a fancy pair of sunglasses, I went in the ocean that day and a wave hit me and I've never seen them again. money that I spent. And that's why I love affordable and super stylish glasses. They look the same as fancy ones. It's no slip, no bounce, all polarized, all fun. So you actually might not lose it. 50,000 plus five-star reviews. It also has a one-year warranty in case you do break it or lose it. 30-day free returns and 100% carbon neutral company. And they have a new frame called the pop that's pop art for your face but make it fashion it's no slip no bounce all polaroys made for medium
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Starting point is 00:32:12 That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash burner, B-E-R-N-E-R, Zocdoc.com slash burner. Let's take another one, Chris. I feel like Des never gets the first hello. So hey, Des, hey, Hannah. First-time dialer up in here. So a Wives tale that is totally debunked has actually been mentioned on a previous episode. But dialers, please stop peeing on your friends that got stung by a jail. jellyfish, just a little marine biologist over here telling you it does not help use the sting.
Starting point is 00:32:42 That being said, the next time you're at a beach with some beach you don't really like and she gets stung by a jellyfish, you can be like, oh my God, poor baby, you better have someone pee on that. And then you go home and spend your evening enjoying the thought that she got pissed on for no reason. Meanwhile, she thinks you were genuinely trying to help. It's a win-win, but it's not going to help. Okay, bye. I love how she just casually is like, I am a Marie biologist. I've studied my whole life for this moment.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Yeah, she really got vindictive really fast. No, I liked it. I also have fully, I think, I don't know if anyone's ever peed on me, but that was what they would say. I would get stung all the time in Shelter Island. Yeah, I feel like Chris did Google that. What? I feel like, how do you not know if somebody's ever peed on you?
Starting point is 00:33:26 I feel like I forgot, but I know it's been said. Like in that moment where you've been stung by a jellyfish. Yeah, like if someone pees on you. but I don't remember it ever happened I might have blocked it out might be so dramatizing Fair enough
Starting point is 00:33:39 I feel like that was one of the previous times where I thought this would be a good topic because I have a vague memory of you Googling that Do you remember that? Yeah, I do. But my question is, what do you do when you get stung
Starting point is 00:33:47 by a jellyfish? Chris. Because I don't know. I think, I believe there's a suggestion of some many times. There was a suggestion of something else
Starting point is 00:34:00 that helps with this thing. But I've definitely never been peed on. Well, I've never been peed on. I was going to say never been peed on with the jellyfish thing, which would suggest that I had been peed on in another scenario. Actually, if you guys are into this stuff, Andrea Allen, one of my first ever interviews on Burning in Hell, she talks about how she would pee on a guy. And she would have to... For money? Or? I don't know if it's for money, but it was his thing. So she would, like, go on the train and chug pediolite, because you get nervous, so you have to make sure you, like, really have to
Starting point is 00:34:31 pee. And she would do it. All right. There's actually... a step-by-step list. So you remove tentacles first. You soak it in warm but not too hot water. Apply cream to it, take painkillers, and use ice. There is a part of this where it says don't scrape it with a credit card. It says nothing about like, don't let your friends piss on you, though. I didn't like that.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Oh, but this reminds me, you know, when you get a bug bite and they say do the cross on it with your fingernail? Yes. I know it feels good. Feels good. That's all I know. I do believe it also debunked, also debunked, but definitely feels good, and I still do it to this day. But also, what's funny is ice is recommended for a lot of things, and it's not always scientifically proven that ice helps. Correct. And it's very controversial, the ice game. Very controversial. Do you want to go down that road?
Starting point is 00:35:19 No. Because it's very controversial, and people really are passionate about ice. Well, we were doing a lot of ice baths back in the day, and then people were saying, actually, you need more heat. and then now people do ice baths for like a somatic response. It's like a stress anxiety type thing that I haven't really looked into. There's been a lot of evolution of the ice or no ice. But my, just not, I hate going on about my ACL, but recent phenomenon that is relevant to this situation,
Starting point is 00:35:50 my surgeon and physical therapist both said that the benefit of icing in your situation is pain relief, but it does not actually decrease inflammation. so my surgeon recommended icing for pain relief but didn't say it was important in terms of reducing inflammation which the amount of people that say to me oh have you been icing it people still believe in ice but I don't get into it I'm not going to be that asshole
Starting point is 00:36:13 oh actually just so you know I know you're telling me to ice but actually has no anti-inflammatory benefit just so you know I do have to say there has to be more wives tales for beauty stuff because right now we're girlies This is like, we're ready dealing with the wage gap. We're spending hundreds of dollars a month on serums, moisturizers, all this stuff.
Starting point is 00:36:37 When I know that there's definitely wives' tails that need to go around, like, oh, like, just smash a banana and put it on your face. Oh, to save money. Yeah. Or, like, for me, when I visit, I put toothpaste on it, and it dries it out immediately in, like, the best way, and it's gone. I don't have to buy these, like, expensive acne things. But there's so many natural things that we could be doing,
Starting point is 00:36:57 but it's funny, that stuff never goes around when I feel like it should because it would save us all a lot of money. Yeah, or just debunk how full of shit most of these products are. Or just look at every man's skin that he just uses a towel that he wipes his butt with on his face
Starting point is 00:37:13 and look how it's glowing. Chris, what's your skincare routine? Oh my God. I basically like just use shampoo. Your skin is beautiful. He's also young. Yeah, I don't know. He's got the youth on his.
Starting point is 00:37:27 He is less trauma. And I have to tell you, in terms of Zitz, because I did have bad acne when I was a teenager, but if you want to be comfortable with Zitz, get older. Because when you get older and you get one, you're like, fuck, yeah, I still get Zits. It's kind of like exciting. It's like, I didn't know I still got these. Would we take another? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Hey, guys. So I'm Ukrainian. And something that I always heard was that if you're a woman and you sit on like a cold, or even if you're, like, walking around barefoot, your ovaries are going to freeze up and you won't be able to have kids. And to this day, I don't know if it's true or false. I mean, I'm guessing it's false, but I still don't do it. Okay, bye.
Starting point is 00:38:18 That's so funny. See, that's one of the ones to fear, you know, to put the fear of God into you so that you dress up. But also, who is that helping? Oh, for them to dress up. When your kids, when they want to go outside and you say you have to wrap up, I would think. It came in a few times. So I had never heard this old wife's tale, but actually
Starting point is 00:38:33 numerous people messaged in about it. There are so many big words in here, so bear with me. Yes, cold exposure can affect the reproductive system including the ovaries. Cold can cause menstrual disorders, dysmendoria, and changes in the ovaries morphology.
Starting point is 00:38:50 I'm going to leave it there. Does it have to be directly on the ovary? I don't feel like your feet being cold is not going to do anything. So this is like one of these articles where it's like partially true. Yeah. Yeah. So we're not, we're not completely debunking. Requires further research. It is funny because when we have our periods, we do put a heating pad
Starting point is 00:39:11 on your stomach. But that's to get rid of discomfort, right? Yeah, but I'm saying it's never, they never go to ice route. Interesting. But does it actually work? It doesn't get into like if it's direct exposure. One of the studies says that women with lower body temperatures like on average experience in fertility more. Whoa. Okay. So we ended up delving into something quite serious there. I mean
Starting point is 00:39:35 thanks to Ukraine or to bring the vibe down. Anyway, I'm like it. So anyway, so bring a jacket when you go outside. But we just learned, what if you're a hoe
Starting point is 00:39:51 does your ovaries you think the internal because hos are never colds. Goes up. then they always have babies. I'm just doing math here. I'm doing real math. Well, I think basically that
Starting point is 00:40:04 casual lack of wrapping up does not affect your fertility. But I think deeper issues around a person's body temperature. Casual not wrapping up definitely affects that in that fertility. That's a great joke. How did I give you nothing?
Starting point is 00:40:19 Wait, I wasn't listening. Oh, that's what happens. Oh, you mean like condoms? Yeah, there we go. oh my gosh sorry i have to listen to when men speak this is this is the modern world just men not being listened to no i was just i was thinking my next thought and now i forgot it oh right because you made me listen to chris oh i'm sorry about that oh god okay let's let's let's go to the videotape chris so when i was a kid my parents would tell me not to shower when there was a thunderstorm
Starting point is 00:40:51 and I did not believe that for a second that like anything bad can happen if you were showering in a thunderstorm I just thought that they like didn't want me to do that or something it wasn't until like just recently that I googled that and if it is actually safe and if your house gets struck by lightning it can literally travel through the water
Starting point is 00:41:14 and you when you are in the shower and kill you. So that is true. Please don't do that. Wow. Wow. I've never heard of this. I hadn't heard of that one. But it is one of those things where it's like, it's pretty low risk.
Starting point is 00:41:30 It's like how anxious do we want to be today, you know? Yeah, I mean, it's super low, I mean, you never know. I mean, if you have a, if your house is very tall, if you're living in, you know, the fucking highest building in Manhattan, maybe don't take... Oh, I don't think it's really an issue in Manhattan. But I think, you know, I think out in the burbs on a hot, on a hot, humid summer's night. something that you should think about. Yeah. Like, you never know.
Starting point is 00:41:54 I had one of those old houses growing up that when you flush, if someone's in the shower, it turns really hot. I thought that's just everyone's shower. Like I thought you can't flush when anyone's in the shower ever. Then I was like, oh, it's just my old ass home.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Yeah, no, we had that. And then it was always like, bro, you're such a fucking asshole. It was always, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't mean too sorry. We would deliberately do it to each other. And then they shut the light too, and you're just like, okay.
Starting point is 00:42:21 We only had one bathroom, by the way. Did you, did you, like, shower and, and poop and all that together? Downstairs, we had one bedroom. I'm sorry, one bathroom. Yeah, but it had two sinks. No, we had two sinks, but we didn't have any other bathrooms. So if you were having a shit, like, in the morning. We had one bathroom upstairs.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Oh, right, you had a second bathroom. Yeah, we had a second bathroom upstairs. So, like, you know. For three boys and mom and dad. Yep, so, you know, I'd be in the shower. My mother would be, like, peeing, you know? my dad was very private in the bathroom so he didn't like that but like every now
Starting point is 00:42:53 and then you know you just but he'd be shaving and I'd have to like pee that's just the way it was my mom always went to the bathroom with the door open because she always had to watch the kids right so that's why I pee with the door open if you ever notice like I never shut the door when I pee
Starting point is 00:43:07 oh right interesting I've noticed here I gotta keep doing that from God to time I've definitely been part of a conversation and been like okay I'm just peeing but I'm in on this stuff I like to keep an eye on what's going on Yeah, and then my mother, if she had a dump with light a match and put it in it, and it smelled worse. Like, the sulfuric smell was worse than the fucking poop.
Starting point is 00:43:28 That was a thing. That was like, that was a thing back the day, light a match, you know, and put it in there. Well, it's nice that she tried. She tried. Because I'll tell you one thing, I'm not going to try for my family. Well, you know, we're going to have more than one bathroom. That's the real bonus. And do you know what's crazy?
Starting point is 00:43:41 The bathroom that we inherited from the purchasers in 1978 was the bathroom that we gave to the family from Fujiann Back in 2000, whatever it was, 2015. What a gift. We never upgraded the bathroom. What a beautiful gift. I know. Unbelievable. 1970 special.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Let's go for gum. Can we go for gum? It's one of my favorites. Yeah. I feel like I know where this one's going. Yeah. Hey, Hannah and Dez, huge fan. And an old wives tale that my mother is a huge fan of is that if you swallow your gum,
Starting point is 00:44:13 it'll wrap around your heart and you'll die. She specifically says it'll wrap around. 13 times for some reason can confirm that I'm still alive and kicking, so it does not. And every time I swallow my gum, it's not that often. Don't worry. But every time I do, I like to tell her just to rattle her a little bit, you know. But it's not often, so it's okay. 13 times. What kind of satanic ritual was the mom trying to push? Now, the old wives tale I had was that it stays in your stomach for seven years. Yeah. Or it was if you eat like a pit that like a tree will grow in your stomach.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Watermelon pits came up. In fact, I think it's even in there. But the chewing gum for seven years affected me. And literally until like maybe four or five years ago, max. Because I came up what I was, I was writing a routine. I was doing a routine. I think it was like around, it was a routine around misinformation. And the punchline was, oh, you don't think that you can believe misinformation. information, like, you don't think it can actually become facts that it's total bullshit. How many people here swallow gum? And you know that I have to crowd are like, oh, that's not real. So to debunk that, I googled it. I'd never thought of Googling it. I'd never swallowed gum.
Starting point is 00:45:33 I always was like, what am I going to do with this gum? It's funny because every now and then, you know, when you accidentally swallow it, it's a scariest feeling ever. Like, you feel like something inedible you swallowed once, like, clearly it's safe. They wouldn't let you chew something that wasn't safe. You just poop it out with everything else. Yeah, it just doesn't really digest. It just passes through.
Starting point is 00:45:50 It doesn't stick in your stomach though. Yeah, like you poop it out like a marble. Yeah. You know? Like, as if the insides of our stomachs are all like the underside of desks. All this fucking gum around. But think how many sidewalks would be prettier and like, you know, desks wouldn't be so disgusting if people knew that it's not a big deal to just swallow it.
Starting point is 00:46:09 It's like not an issue at all. Do you think there's like an age when people should stop chewing gum? Not really I mean chewing gum is such a weird thing Like some kids like you're always chewing gum Like it was fun I feel like chewing gum is a better oral fixation I mean it's a fact than like everyone
Starting point is 00:46:28 Jeweling or whatever they're up to 100% my problem is I like chewing gum But my problem is as I've gotten older I don't know what happened to the shape of my mouth But I bite my tongue a lot I bite my tongue so much When you're chewing gum My tongue teeth quills
Starting point is 00:46:44 coordination is off. And I now bite my tongue about when I chew gum. And eventually, I'll, like, get back into chewing gum. You fucking beatbox and you can't chew gum? I get such a bad. One time it was so bad, like, anyway, I'm just telling you that, you know, you got to, and I'd love to find out if actually, over time, your mouth shape changes to the point where you can bite your tongue more. Your hand-eye, teeth, tongue coordination is off.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Yeah, because I don't chew gum anymore for that reason. I like to, like, snap the gum. Like, once I learned how to, like, snap it, I thought it was the most fun thing ever. and then so I'm like annoying people like can you not snap like it's a funeral can you not did you have big league chew in your generation yeah yeah but that shit fucking get locked job yeah but the problem is in the commercial they they take out these big lumps so then the whole thing was like you put the whole thing in your mouth it was ridiculous we were obsessed with um like you know you're near at the supermarket and you get the gumballs
Starting point is 00:47:32 but the gumballs tasted good for three seconds literally once the color was from the year out um yeah like one out of every 20 times my mother would be like okay we'll put a quarter in the fucking turn thing yeah fucking weird rip-off. I also, our generation was like Bubbillicious. That shit was good. That's multi-generational, bubblelicious. What about Bazooka Joe? I know Bazooka Joe. Five cents and a comic.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. What, like a page of comics? Oh, because it's in the wrap. It wrapped it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What were you going to say? Oh, I was going to say I looked up. It's bad for your plumbing. Gum. Oh, gum? Yeah. So it's not 100% good to swallow it. No, it'll fuck up your pipes. It can
Starting point is 00:48:12 block you up? Look, black up your, like, in your home, not your personal pipes. Oh, but you mean like spitting it out into the... Yeah, I mean, it comes out and it's full form, so it's the same difference, I think. Oh, okay. Also, your mouth shape does change as you get older. Oh. By the way, boom, bo, bo, blah, blah, we're killing it right now and smoking it.
Starting point is 00:48:31 I feel like you got past the, like, feeling tired, and now you're like, let's go. No, I'm absolutely dying, but we got it. Let's face it, this is an intellectually stimulating episode. Absolutely. There's a lot of information. A lot of science is happening. Like, dudes love talking about these random facts that have no effect on you. Oh, are you not enjoying this?
Starting point is 00:48:50 I'm enjoying it, but I'm just saying you guys love this shit. Okay. All right. Like, what a bear or chicken went in a fight? Pretty easy one. All right, Chris, let's go for another. Hi, Hannah. Hi, hi, Des.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Love you both. Love the pod. First of all, I thought it was always old wise tales. A lot of people said that. So I just learned that. But we, my boyfriend and I, we go on the boat a lot in the summer. We're on the lake all the time. And he always says, red sky at night, sailors delight, red sky in morning, sailors take warning.
Starting point is 00:49:29 I don't know if it's debunked or if it's real, but he lives by that. He lives and dies by that. We've been okay. So, yeah. Yes. In Ireland, they say shepherd's delight. But what is What does it mean?
Starting point is 00:49:42 What does it mean? Red sky at night, Shepard's Delight, Red Sky in the Morning Sailor... So basically the red sky in the morning sales warning is
Starting point is 00:49:48 bad weather is imminent. Got it. But I do believe that it's not true but you'll have to just red sky it'll come up pretty quick
Starting point is 00:49:57 but I've never Googled it but I always assumed it was bullshit. I never even heard these quotes before. Really? Red sky at night sales delight. I'm from fucking Brooklyn,
Starting point is 00:50:06 New York. I don't know about this. New York City gets great sunset. I know, but we're not referencing sailors ever. All those beautiful summer red skies. Nobody ever said, oh, red sky at night, sailors delight? No.
Starting point is 00:50:17 Wow, we live in a fucking harbor. I know, but it's not, I didn't know any sailors growing up. Okay, the saying red sky at night, sailors delight, has some scientific basis, and is often true. A red sky at night can indicate that the setting sun is passing through a high concentration of dust particles, which can mean stable air and high pressure from the west. This can lead to good weather. Wow. So actually, there is some truth in it. That's awesome. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:50:45 I mean, now the next time you see one of these beautiful... You know, Instagram lights up when New York City is having, like, one of those awesome sunsets in the summer. But it doesn't ever look as good on your Instagram as a dozen persons. Not even close. Not even close. What's the point? What's the point? It's not even worth it.
Starting point is 00:51:01 And we get some great sunsets out in West Hampton. It's better than taking pictures of fireworks or concerts, I guess. Yes, fireworks are always a great... And the moon. Oh, yeah. The moon is the moon is the least. least photogenic thing on Instagram, seriously, like, the moon needs a makeover. Like, like, FaceTune or something.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Yeah, like, FaceTune the moon. Oh, on already. Like, know your angles. Yeah, like, the moon had, like, acne or something. Have you noticed, like, it's, you know? I mean, definitely, like, filler. Yeah, the moon has, like, a lot of, like, pockmarks and everything. It's probably on the Zembek.
Starting point is 00:51:32 That's when it's waning. Did you just trying to get scientific on us? No, but the Zemphic was a bit, you know, like, when the moon gets, smaller. Oh, right, yeah. Like a half moon. Ozampic moon. Ozambic. Ozambic. All right. So the old wives tale that I think is just absolutely ridiculous is the five second rule. Like, okay, the food's going to fall to the ground and all the germs and mites
Starting point is 00:51:56 and dust and nasty shit. It's just going to be like, oh no, guys, we got to wait five seconds. One, two, three. Like, no, they're not. That's just life. It hits the ground. You eat or you don't. Also, I'm eating it. I don't care if it's on the sidewalk. I don't care like I'll brush some dust off of it get some micro organisms in me I'm a teacher I got to keep my immune system strong but five second rule kids definitely old wives tail so by five second rule it's if you pick it up before five seconds it's fine it's still okay yeah yeah that's definitely what are we looking up um I know that that was a choice in everyone's life when you say hey I'm still gonna fucking eat it yeah and then you realize you can do whatever you want in this life
Starting point is 00:52:39 it's just you you create your limits yeah and you know people will say you know you build up an immunity and I guess I guess there are times where it's not a big deal and there might be times where it's probably a little risky but you know I survived it any time
Starting point is 00:52:54 I dropped something I really wanted to eat I mean it's definitely some people are more you know I came from the generation where you kissed it up to God did you? What? You kissed it up to God and then God made it clean
Starting point is 00:53:07 God disinfects it St. Anthony Yeah so it was like, oh, you'd drop to kiss it up to God and then eat it. But I guess that was a way for your parents to just distract you into eating it rather than have you crying or that they have to go and buy you another thing. So it's like kiss it up to God, you'll be fine, you know? This is the most contentious one, it seems like,
Starting point is 00:53:22 because it seems like there's some truth to it because it's less exposure, basically, but also like it, you know, it's not a set time. Okay. Wow. Interesting. Well, I mean, I remember once I didn't kind of fight with a friend, but they were getting annoyed because I was eating popcorn. and obviously we don't eat popcorn one by one.
Starting point is 00:53:40 You take a bunch of them and you throw it towards your mouth and you just catch whatever you can. And it falls all over the place. And then I was obviously like I was obviously picking up and eating it. I was going to waste half the popcorn. And they were like, this is disgusting. This is so disgusting. But it's like we live in fucking New York City.
Starting point is 00:53:55 In the movie theater? No. It was in my apartment. Oh, in the apartment? It was my apartment. Oh, in the apartment? That's not a big deal. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:02 I wasn't doing the movie theater. But then you think about people who take their shoes off in their own house. Yes. And when you think about it, you're like, I kind of fucking get it. But then you're like, once you don't, you're like, are we just living, this is how we live? How much are we going to protect ourselves from these germs? You know, if COVID's going to hit, COVID's going to hit. I mean, 100%.
Starting point is 00:54:22 I mean, when I'm walking around, I see like dead rats and shit, and I go, we really should take our shoes off. But then by the time I'm home, I forget. It's out of sight, out of mind. That's why, and then people have dogs. Yeah. Where has that dog been? It's just a fact, man. But, you know, the reality is if you have a dog and you have kids,
Starting point is 00:54:41 the kids are probably going to be more resistant to things because they pick up all the crap. Yeah, I mean... Apparently there's science behind that. Oh, because kids touch everything and put in their mouths? The dogs expose them to a lot of stuff. I believe. I mean, we don't have to get deeper and deeper into the Google.
Starting point is 00:54:59 I feel bad. We're giving Chris so much to do. By the way, kissing it up to God is the final punchline of the greatest routine of my childhood Eddie Murphy's You dropped your ice cream routine Oh, I didn't know that Did you ever watch that?
Starting point is 00:55:13 I don't think so. You dropped your ice cream You dropped your ice cream You don't know that? That was like probably the routine that made me want to be a comedian Do you know that routine? No, I don't.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Oh my God, that's the because obviously there's a little generational difference here That's the Diler's Homework But I actually don't even know if that routine holds up in the modern day But I was pretty young when I watched that 11, 12 max? I thought it was the funniest thing of all time.
Starting point is 00:55:34 I think Murphy needs to come out with that. I mean, I kind of spoiler or, like, gave away the punchline there, but it is, it, it requires a knowledge of kissing it up to God as a cultural phenomenon for it to work as a routine. I just thought of a random one I used to do with my grandpa, what is it, the turkey bone?
Starting point is 00:55:49 What's that one? No, isn't it a wish bone? A wish bone. What about it? About breaking it? And then the person who gets the bigger end makes a wish. Yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:56 Yeah. Oh, yeah. But that's like a, is that, that's not a whole tradition. That's a cute little tradition. That's a cute little tradition. Hi, Hannah does. Longest little dialer here, humungo dialer, if you will, as well as a humungo giggler. An old wise tale that's debunked that I literally just found out about, I feel so bamboozled, is that carrots actually aren't good for the eyes.
Starting point is 00:56:22 They're not good for the eyes, but they're like, that's a myth that if you get carrots, you'll have better vision or like you should eat your carrots, good for your eyes. Lies. Lies. I was a gum. I forgot about that one. It's like an apple a day keeps a doctor. It does it? No.
Starting point is 00:56:38 It's mostly water. Well, because when we were kids, that was how do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Mm-hmm. Do you know that one? How do you know? How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? I don't know. You don't know that one?
Starting point is 00:56:48 No. Do you ever see a rabbit wearing glasses? That was like a kid's joke. We were kids. Yeah, but I don't even know if rabbits eat carrots. I think just bugs bunny and carrots. I think it just bugs bunny. Uh, yes, carrots can help with eye health.
Starting point is 00:57:02 Carrots contain beta carotene, which the body converts, to vitamin A, which is essential for good vision. Oh, okay, so actually... But it must be, like, a certain amount that you need, again. So actually, she's debunking something incorrectly? Is this what we're finding it? Fake news. Fake news, Tyler.
Starting point is 00:57:19 Ooh. She was trying to confuse us. But I do think that, again, it's like, if you have eye problems, it's not going to cure it with carrots. Yeah. But I get, what... I was looking up the rabbit thing.
Starting point is 00:57:34 They're like, yes. Rabbits can eat carrots, but don't give them too much because it's high in sugar. They'll turn them blind. It could really, like, hurt their digestive system. But it's not, carrots aren't particularly, like, rabbit food, right? No, it's, like, leafy greens. God, they're getting into fucking carrots, rabbits getting too much sugar now, too? Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Yeah. Oh, my God. What a fucking rabbits are. Rabbits are, like, there's too much sugar and fruit. Yeah, like, ultra-processed food is so bad for rabbits. You guys remember rock candy, though? That was crazy. Just straight up, like, crystallized sugar with like some jolly rancher, man.
Starting point is 00:58:09 It was the same color, too. Do you remember the candy that would, like, pop in your pop candy? Pop rocks? Pop rocks. What kind of, was the worst? Crazy shit was that. My sister loved pop rocks. We would just, like, have explosions in our mouth.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Yeah. It was an odd concept. You know what I really got into, my adulthood, was really sour candy. You know, the ones that what you bite and, like, you literally, you literally, make a face. They say that helps with panic attacks. Really? That if you're having a panic attack or a crazy moment, put in one of the most
Starting point is 00:58:43 sour candies, and it makes your senses focus on that. Yeah, I really got it. I wasn't into them when I was a kid, and then in Ireland they have really good ones. I always loved Sour Patch kids. And I ate Swedish fish, which was kind of alt. Swedish fish was
Starting point is 00:58:59 our obsession in our house. We loved Swedish fish. Every time I went to the movie, Swedish fish, well, that whole Are they actually Swedish? Oh, Jesus. Poor Chris. This is a real Chris app. This app is dedicated to Chris.
Starting point is 00:59:17 Yeah. And his allergies. Just the first sentence is, yes. Swedish fish are actually Swedish. Oh, they speak Swedish? Yeah, the chewy fish-shaped candy was developed in Sweden by Malaco, a Swedish candy company in the late 1950s and brought into the U.S. market in 1957. Wow. that I still to this day
Starting point is 00:59:37 I can feel it in my mouth as I talk about it. One Swedish fish you're going to eat Swedish fish for like an hour. It's very hard to stop eating. I love them but I also love pull and peel twizzlers and I feel that there's a little
Starting point is 00:59:53 similar vibe but anyway. So anyone else want to talk about the candy they like? Oh God the candy. Don't even start me so did you guys have like pick and mix in the movie theater when you were like young? Because I felt like that came in later. We didn't have that that. Pick a mix.
Starting point is 01:00:06 I've never seen a pick a mic. I don't even know what that is. Oh, like, like a lot of like different types of candies that you like, you know, take out with like a... Maybe like at a candy store,
Starting point is 01:00:13 but at the... Yeah, so in Ireland, they started having pick a mix like in, like later on in life. At the... At the movie theater. Yeah, like next to the... No, I need a $16
Starting point is 01:00:24 Swedish fish box. Yeah. That's what I need. Yeah, or like the most, the most expensive haggendaz on a stick that you've ever eaten in your life. Yes, that's what I want.
Starting point is 01:00:33 But in some Irish movie theater they have Baskin Robbins in the movie theater, which that was a huge development for me. Yeah, I haven't seen that. Be able to get a big tub of ice cream, go to the movies? Also, some people are- Because popcorn's overrated. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I disagree.
Starting point is 01:00:47 Popcorn's overrated. And butter on popcorn is the most overrated thing of what you got. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Butter on popcorn is the best way to leave the movie theater feeling like shit. Well, okay, that's valid. I'm dropping that right here. That's valid, but those two things don't have to do with each other. have to do with each other.
Starting point is 01:01:05 I'm old enough to know that a behavior has a consequence. You don't feel like shit? You don't feel like shit after chug raisinette? I don't chug raisinets either. This is my thing. I'm a savory girl and I'm getting the popcorn with butter. And that's my everything. I don't need a Swedish fish. Yeah, and there's another life hack, okay? You get popcorn, then you have to drink with it because it's so salty, then you drink too much,
Starting point is 01:01:30 then you have to pee, and you're gonna miss out in a very important part of the movie. part of the movie. I like popcorn because you get to have like 200 of something. Yeah, I mean, I get it. I just think it's overrated. I'm not saying I don't eat it, but I think it's overrated. I don't think it's overrated. It's like, it's like the bread and butter of snacking. Like bread and butter, I can eat for the rest of my life. This is like these TikToks where they're like, uh, I'm gonna make a claim. Uh, breaking bad, totally overrated. You know what are you talking about? But I actually do, but I do think that popcorn is overrated. I do think that a lot of flavored popcorn is
Starting point is 01:02:05 overrated when they start doing crazy flavors. The British are into sweet popcorn. I don't like sweet popcorn. I just want butter, salt. Peanut, peanut, butter, jelly. I just was checking. That's an age difference. I just wanted to see. I got it.
Starting point is 01:02:21 It was just alarming. Yeah, it was just inappropriate. Did you know what that was? It's a rap. It's from Sesame Street, right? I think it's from Sesame Street. You want me to fact check? Peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly, Tom, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly.
Starting point is 01:02:35 Okay, so I want to check, this is an age check, okay? Okay, okay. I want to see if... We know you're old. You don't have to... No, I know. I want to see if this, if this went to your generation tonight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, eleven, eleven, 11, 12.
Starting point is 01:02:47 No? Not at all. Interesting. It's just like one of those things where I'm not, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I never know what was just of your childhood and what passed on. What is that? Just counting. Also from Sesame Street. What is this?
Starting point is 01:02:57 Amanda, man, man, man, man, man, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda. Amanda, Amanda, Amanda. Manda. Oh, that's show? Amanda Bond show? Yeah. Oh, right, yeah. No, I didn't want, that, that was Nickelodeon past my Nickelodeon time. Yep. I remember the beginning of Nickelodeon. Will we take one more? Hey, Anna and does, love you both. Also, Chris, love you too. You're doing a good job. Oh, she knew you needed that. that I think about now that I am a parent is that opening umbrellas inside causes bad luck.
Starting point is 01:03:31 I haven't thought about this since I was a kid, but now I have a five-year-old who has a little umbrella that she loves to open up inside. So I decided to tell her that it's bad luck. So she would stop because it is so fucking annoying. And now I'm starting to think that a lot of these old wives' tales are just ways to get kids to stop. things. Wow, that is so valid. So valid.
Starting point is 01:03:58 The perfect one to finish with, because I definitely must be behind a lot of it. Well, think of, they say don't walk under ladders because it's bad luck. It was moms being like, bad things are going to happen if you walk under the ladder. So please don't walk under the ladder. And in fairness, statistically, bad shit can happen if you walk under a ladder. There might be paint up there. Breaking a mirror. That's dangerous.
Starting point is 01:04:18 You might knock somebody off the ladder. Yeah, you don't go on the level. But opening an umbrella inside makes kind of sense in that one, it's like, kind of dangerous if like somebody's in close proximity too. If you come in with a wet umbrella, you know, you flick it around all over. Water getting all over the place. Water getting all over the place. Yeah, so, uh, I actually just became 100% unsuperstitious in, in my adulthood.
Starting point is 01:04:39 So I don't care about opening the umbrella. When did this happen? I'm not superstitious. We live on the 13th floor, Hannah. No, I know. We got married on Friday of 13th. We're not superstitious. But when, when did it happen that you were and then you weren't?
Starting point is 01:04:51 Oh, I don't know. As I got older and wiser, I just realized that so much of the. stuff is just absolute nonsense. I feel like with sports I would be very superstitious for some reason I was like oh no that was bad luck I would do it again and then tell myself I erased it yeah like when I had a ripper I had a riper I had a riper one time sorry say that again like I'd say I open an umbrella inside I'd be like oh I have to do it one more time to negate the last one cancel it out all right interesting so I made my own rules you made your own like juju your own like yes voodoo kind of cleansing yes yeah in the early part of my
Starting point is 01:05:23 comedy career, I wore this blue hoodie and I had an absolute ripper and I wore that every time. I wore it at every show until I finally didn't have a good show and then I was like I guess it wasn't a hoodie. Yeah. Yeah. So I did have like a lucky hoodie for a period time. But yeah. I know I think we learned
Starting point is 01:05:39 old wives tales are these moms that are trying their hardest to be the best moms ever and their kids are fucking annoying them. But I think maybe moving forward we need to establish some sort of new term like a sort of like a ancient misinformation you know something because i parental gossip yeah i don't think i don't think it's fair that it's been sort of put on to sort of like old wives you know the sort of female misinformation i i think it's i think it's there's a sexist
Starting point is 01:06:08 there's a lot of men spreading information yeah there's a there's a sexist element to it all you know so i think anything to add no i think i just i love the little dialer so much. They were so good this episode. Oh my God. We love you guys calling in so much. It makes our week. I mean, it's your guys podcast, too. I mean, you guys are driving all the conversations.
Starting point is 01:06:33 You know, so thank you so much. We couldn't be here without you. Thank you, guys. Isn't it so nice at the end, Chris, that you got to thank you. That was beautiful. What has been your most important episode? Literally a co-presenter. It's beautiful. Thank you for the recognition. It's appreciated. Oh, that's great. Okay, awkward. We don't have anything to
Starting point is 01:06:49 promote now. We've done it all. We've done it all. done it all up top. Thank you guys for calling in, and we'll talk to you next week. If you want to know when the next burner phone prompt is, check our Instagrams on Monday night, normally. And, you know, don't be afraid to make suggestions. Oh, yeah, DM us. And don't be afraid to DM with, like, you know, your thoughts about the episode. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:09 You know, stuff like that. And if it's a, if you really enjoyed the episode, maybe you could put it in a review. Oh, yeah, you could hit the reviews. And, I mean, sometimes people do message in on the voice prompt with some follow-up to previous week. I do notice them sometimes. So don't be afraid to do that. There may be a time that it goes in. No promises, but that is a way to respond. I was going to say, I definitely recognize some of the people, like, their voices and stuff. So they should, they should announce themselves. Yeah, give yourself a nickname. Yeah, that's right. We said that before about getting our
Starting point is 01:07:41 own little whack pack. Yeah. You know, our own little dialer's den. Yeah, if you guys want to say, hey I'm in some kind of fun nickname we'll see if it sticks yeah I'm somebody somebody girl you know yeah that's fine I'm cold ovaries girl shout out to cold ovaries we love you
Starting point is 01:08:01 I like the way Chris is getting a little stalkery it's like I know that voice don't put that on me I don't put stuff like that on you I remember her baby reindeer yeah yeah oh this message I remember this messenger All right. Bye.

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