Berner Phone - Berner Phone #4: Pet Peeves Part Deux with Des

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

We're back this week with more pet peeves to work through your issues with road rage, self checkout ettiquette, and yawning.  Stand up shows coming up in Mashantucket, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Tucson, Tempe, Buffalo, and more! Tickets here

Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Welcome back to Burner Phone. I'm Hannah Burner. And I'm Des Bishop. And it's time for part two, pet peeves.

It's pet peeves. It's hard to say. Pet peeves, part do. Part d'a. Pet peeve's the sequel. What's up? Pet peeve callers. I've thought of a, I've thought of a, a peeve related to me and you in the meantime.

Oh, God, what is it? No, it's, it's all very lighthearted. Mm-hmm. And it's, it's only been 15 minutes since we finished episode one. Just to give the listener a behind the scenes, it hasn't been a full week, you know? Babe, it's movie magic. You're not supposed to tell them. No, I know, but what I mean is that in the meantime,

time I've thought of a fresh peave to freshen up the beginning of our next episode. What is it? And I'm not saying I'm right or wrong, but in a marriage where only one person has a driver's license, I have a peeve where the passenger is always just like scrolling on their phone and just like doing phone shit the entire time while I'm doing the driving and unable to look at my phone, particularly when the phone stuff is taking away from any interaction, any conversation, any sense of, I'm going to do my bit from the passenger side to make this journey more interesting.

I agree with you and I disagree. Okay. First, because let's all be honest, the fact that you want to be on your phone, sorry, sorry. You're the driver. You can't be on your phone. Yeah, but that way, which would be fine if you were covering your end on the driving side. But I do have to say true. That's true.

I think it's layers because you wish I drove sometimes. So you have that resentment that you're putting on to me on my phone that if I could drive, you wouldn't feel that way. But also I would argue, sometimes I run out of conversation topics in the car. I understand. Sometimes I'll be like, what's your favorite color? And you're like, what the fuck? I know question is that. Well, I mean, in fairness.

but uh but anyway you're like ask me a question start a conversation and i'm like okay well now i have pressure and now i don't know what to say but but i mean you know it's just a peeve but so okay so here's a thing here's a thing with me that i don't think is universal but i'm going to put it out there into the universe because i feel like it could be something people have thoughts about i hate on a long journey where uh the passenger falls asleep on me at a a time where like I would be finding it hard to stay awake unless we have come to an arrangement where it's like you sleep for a bit and then I'll sleep for a bit and we'll swap out the driving if sleeping if you're afraid you're going to fall asleep it is the passenger's job to keep you

awake but do you remember when I was trying to keep you awake by just like tapping you no you babe one time you try to keep me you like you like tried to startle me it's like hey you do realize you're trying to keep me awake but startling me is just as dangerous as falling asleep you know you literally did like a boo you did like a boo I was trying to wake you what's the matter with you like I'm driving you just turn off the highway immediately no but you remember once I was like tapping you but I was tapping you with like a rhythmic um calmness that said this is how babies go to sleep yeah I was like this is what are you like a hypnotist like this rhythmic touching is not helping no but but but I but I

I do want to point out that I live, I live by this in that recently I had a show in Saratoga Springs, but I had to be back in the city after my show. So we were leaving Saratoga at 11.10 p.m. My friend, PJ,

came with me and he, you know, we had a deal. So I said, listen, I'll pay for the golf if you drive home. But when you're driving home, because I've so much to do the next day, I'm going to fall asleep. And I normally feel bad about that, but that's why I'm paying for golf.

Like, that's how much I live by the code of sleeping is selfish. So, okay, this does create tension in our relationship because if I'm in any form of a moving vehicle, I'm falling asleep immediately. If it's a plane, if it's a car, if it's the subway, if it's a train, I'm falling asleep. It, like, lulls me to sleep immediately. And we went to Ireland once, and we're driving, like, across the country. And Des wants to show me all the beautiful sites. of Ireland and I kept falling asleep

but I kept falling asleep when it was raining and I'd wake up and it wouldn't be raining and I'm like Ireland has the best weather ever why are people saying it gets rainy I know you kept sleeping through the rain he's like you fall asleep every time it fucking rains because that's Irish weather right that's a perfect example of Irish weather it's like it's summer for a second that it's winter for a second

and Hannah slept through all the winters Hannah slept through all the winters of Dublin to Cork City and I was like let's move here this place is fucking amazing but yeah I mean I'm I'm fine with people sleeping a lot of time, but I struggle when the other person can't drive or cover their end. Well, I want to apologize for being, you know, but I do want to say that I get my revenge. I'm sorry, I've cut across you there. I'm aware of that. We'll talk about it in couples therapy.

But I do want to point out that I get my revenge in that after 9 p.m., I can sleep anywhere. So on all our overnight flights, I'm always out the entire time and you're like, I only slept for two See, at 9 p.m., that's when my day begins. That's when I become alive. That's when every, like, thought I've been trying to suppress throughout the day by napping comes out. I mean, I've slept on every red eye I've ever taken in my life. See, it's funny.

Yeah, the late night when I feel like pressure to fall asleep, I don't sleep, but like at 1 p.m. flight that's like three hours, oh, I'm going to be deep, deep sleep. I love that you brought up driving because our first one has to do with your favorite topic. besides chewing road rage oh nice my biggest pet peeve is while i'm driving and the car in front to me begins to slow down and then begins to turn a corner and then after they've begun to turn that corner then they turn on their indicator to say that they're they're blinker to say they're turning that makes me so angry because i don't know where we're going i don't know why we're slowing down. And I'm expecting to be going the posted speed limit. And then we're just

not. It is very frustrating. And it is my biggest pet peeve. And it brings out my perpetual road rage. Now, I, do you know what that accent is? Irish. That's an Irish accent. So beautiful. That's a, that's a, like a, like a, like a, like a, a nice, gentle Irish accent. She sounds so calm talking about her road rage. Yeah. So this is an exceptional message. I'm so happy that we got one from Ireland. Because that happens a lot. And there's more roundabouts in Ireland, right?

So that could be... Hannah, don't try to get involved in the actual driving stuff. Okay, I don't know what's going on. I'm trying to relate, and I have no idea what she's talking about. Because I'm asleep. I'm asleep in the passenger princess side. This is not a roundabout situation, actually. This is, which is very common, because...

when somebody's slowing down and they haven't indicated, which happens a lot on Dune Road, by the way, because people are pulling into driveways, they don't indicate they're slowing down. You don't know what's going on. She has, honestly, it doesn't even need me to repeat because she said it perfectly. I don't need to manisplain her perfect message.

But it's dangerous because if somebody's not indicating, then you're not expecting them to slow down. And then suddenly they start turning. Then they're like, oh, it's time to indicate. Too late. Too late, asshole. Now I, you know what? You don't need to indicate because you're already turning.

all right so I don't need to know what you're doing so it is very dangerous and in general you press the indicator then you slow down to turn you yes because people need to people need to expect it I'm trying to pass my driving so also also so you're not a lot in in America obviously you're not supposed to pass on the right however it's illegal to pass on the right when somebody is turning left right so if they're indicating you can then prepare to pass on the right if it's safe to pass. The right and left is very confusing to me. But I do have to let everyone know.

The right and left, you know, the right and left is universal. It's not just a driving situation. It's just how we talk about sides. Righty, tidy, lefty, lucy. But I do have to say when I go to Ireland and they drive on the other side of the road, when you're walking towards someone, in America, you go, okay, I'm going to go right, where they do the same thing. They go left on their side.

and then you never know where to go. It's actually a problem when you're walking around Americans in Europe. Which I put that up on Instagram once because I wasn't sure, like, is it the same with walking? And yeah, Irish people tend to pass on the same side as they're driving.

Also, can I just, since we're on the topic of driving, this incredible message, there's not as many roundabouts in the United States. And American drivers often are clueless about roundabouts. The car in the roundabout has the right of way. this is very important but this is my thing they have the right of way yes but could you

do you if how do you know you have enough time to it's just if there's someone in the roundabout you just let them go no no if you have because because you could be entering the roundabout and the person is on the far side of the right of the right of it so if you have time you go but if you don't you let the person go absolutely you yield

right so the person in the roundabout is the right away but a roundabout entry is not a stop sign it's a yield so you yield to the traffic with the right away So that's just something to keep in mind. It's so confused right now. Sorry. Okay.

It doesn't matter. For this person coming in, and we should almost do like dumb driving as an episode. Oh, yeah. And I'm not saying I'm the best driver. I mean, road rage could be a whole thing. Road rage is an episode. I feel like driving, if you think of drivers like you think of the internet, how is anyone alive right now? Because all the people be crazy on the internet are drivers.

Yeah, but here's the thing, right? Road rage on the internet is a great comparison, right? Because, so say something happens, whether you're wrong or right, say somebody has an overaggressive reaction to what's going on on the road, right? Like, they honk at you too early. Like, the light has just gone green. It's been like a millisecond and they're fucking honking at you. Now, of course, your initial reaction can be like, who the fuck do you think you are,

motherfucker like give me a second for my brain to fucking tell my right foot to hit the accelerator right that that's your initial reaction but what you can do is just press the accelerator and move away and never think about that person true for the rest of your life which is the same with an antagonizing troll troll leaves come and this is not just by the way for people that are well known getting a lot of troll activity this is for anybody on the internet anytime you put your opinion on the internet you can get somebody who's being antagonistic giving you an overly aggressive response. Your friend from high school who just joined a cult.

Yeah, giving you an overly aggressive response. Now, you can never look at that comment again, and within 10 minutes, it will leave your awareness for life. Or you can comment back, and next thing, you're in a dumb-ass fucking internet altercation, which is going to take away your peace of mind for hours, possibly days. You never feel better after it.

Or in a road rage incident, right? And trust me, I have not always been on the right side of this. You can take the fucking bait, react. And next thing you know, you got a fucking, a 45 in your fucking face and you're about to die because you live in the United States of America where there's too many guns. So all I'm saying is... Mental health moment. It's not what happens to you in life.

It's how you react to it. How you react to it? But road rage is tough, you know, because it's a high stress... When I'm driving, like, now they have my permit, I assume that everyone knows that I can't drive and everyone driving behind me is like this fucking idiot. doesn't know what she's doing, which is probably partially true. I've been close, man. I've had a few road rage incidents where, like...

You got out of the car? I have gotten out of the car. I just want to put that on the record that I have gotten out of the car. More than once in my life. I have gotten out of the car. You're also a large man. No, but I feel... I'm ratting myself out here.

I mean, I'm not saying I was right, but I'm telling you that I have got out of the car. And, like, you kind of realize, like, This does not... Isn't it amazing? Like, there are real things in this life to care about. But, like, the immediate sort of, like, fight or flight that comes up from a road rage,

this innocuous... I mean, sometimes I get it because something frightening might have just happened, someone might have cut you off. Like, it might have been a situation that was actually dangerous, right? But, needless to say,

I got out of the car once on a thing where it was just, like, the most insane situation. The guy was just going crazy over nothing. and I got out of the car. But no matter how crazy this guy was being, all I need to do is just drive away. Whereas I could have immortalized that situation by being violent.

Like that's crazy. But you know, I actually got a life lesson from my dad once, who like something happened, some guy looked like he was going to turn, he didn't turn, my dad went around him. And I was little. I was sitting in the back. And this guy speeds up to us at the next red line.

light, lowers the window, gets my dad to lower the window, and starts cursing him out like I've never heard this kind of yelling before in my life. And my dad just like, listen, I think my dad, I think my dad gave him the finger and just put, like calmly gave him the finger and put the window up and continue driving. And I'm just sitting there. I must have been like seven. And he looks at me and he goes, that guy is having his own bad day and he's taking out on me. Wow. He goes, he's probably getting divorced he hates his job he hates his life and he's projecting it on me at a young age i remember thinking like oh that makes sense that guy's like going through it and you realize road rage so many things are your own issues that then you like take it out in that moment and if

you take it personally from the other person then next thing you know you get into a real fight yeah and it's hard but it's a good little life life is life is tough and sometimes even though you're challenged in a situation where somebody you know sometimes it really is the other person is being completely irrational yeah but it's still your responsibility to act rationally okay let's see what's next hi hannah does my biggest pet peeve is when couples go to a restaurant and sit on the same side of the booth it drives me bonkers i don't understand there's all this extra space like why are you crowding me why am I why are we touching elbows like I just need my space while I'm eating so seeing couples sit on the same side definitely gives me the ick I mean

that's when you go it's like the subway in here I honestly I'm with this 75% you've asked me multiple times do you want to sit on the same side and I'll tell you why it's always in a situation where if we're both sitting on the same side we can be looking at out good people watching good people watching yeah see i like to talk i like to make eye contact i also am very particular about my side i have a very ugly side of my face and a like stunning beautiful model side so if i i've actually made you get up to switch sides with me because i'm not going to enjoy it if i constantly am feeling like you're looking at the bad side of my face yeah so i'm i first of in a booth.

The only time I might say it is if sometimes you get in a boot situation where the table is very wide. Yes. So you feel quite far away. But the couples that squeeze in when it's just single seaters, that's disgusting, that's disrespectful.

Yeah, it's not necessary. But I mean, you know. If you also have your bags too, because think about it, you got your bag on there also. Like, it's too tight. Yeah, in a booth, it's very strange. Unless it's too far away,

then I understand. I feel like you're running the bus. But I do, I, like, and it's common, like in France and stuff. A lot of those tables are actually set up, so you sit, you're sitting now. I guess I love a conversation. Like, I love just, I love looking at the person. However, sometimes, you know, when the table's, like, a little too far. Yeah.

And you feel just, like, really far away from them. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I, you know what I love the most? What? Don't get too excited. Like, if it's a square, us on the two. The corners. Now, that's a compromise because I feel like if you're a couple and you don't go for the corners, what does that say about your relationship?

You're in a fight. You know? And that's also a sign of how good am I friends with this guy? How good are my friends with this same sex guy? Your heterosexual guy and you're with your heterosexual friend, how good friends are we? Are we going for the corner? Are we going for the cross? That's, okay.

Cross means it's a first date. It's a formal, it's a business meeting. it's a new friend. Corner means we're gossiping, we're listening to other tables, we're doing inside jokes, we're possibly not even talking but we're just close to each other.

That's intimacy. Yeah, interesting first date. Are you a corner first date or are you a crosser first dater? Interesting. What's interesting too is we've done this whole podcast sitting side by side not making eye contact with each other. But that's because we're both looking at a lens.

There's one thing we like more than looking at each other and that's knowing that a lens is looking at us. this is very interesting the corner or the crosser that's very interesting because I think you know you know so say you're on a first date and like you see each other and you know that there's like

there's a connection straight away you got to try to get you got to try to go corner I know I think he has to earn the corner first date go across first date is he confident enough to to fucking ask for the corner I would think it's a little too much

I'd be like give me my space on the first day even attract to each other let us flirt let us have that tension of like we're far away what are we going to connect if first date he's already touching the leg calm the fuck down bro yeah because i'm not i'm a i'm a corum me and you are corner people we go to margarita grill with corner but our first date babe across we were across but that was that we didn't have a corner option there we didn't we didn't have a corner option there would you have in the corner would you have cornered me can't say can't say but i also want to point out that it was on our first date i picked you up so we'd already had a to connect and we connected pretty well in the car so we might have cornered i think i think we

had cornered i think if we had cornered then i mean that's i think it's too intimate when you don't when you haven't never know will we if you've never been inside me don't i mean it depends on the corner though it true it doesn't be like corner i'm envision like some tables some tables ask some tables require a corner because you're going to be too far you're going to be shouting at each Corner is cute sometimes if it's a big table. If I'm thinking like coffee shop corner, no. No. No.

I don't want like your leg on my leg. I want your knee touching my knee. Yes, we don't need a knee touch. You know? But then it's awkward when you're crossing and then at the end of the meal you've eaten so much, you feel fat. Yeah. You want to stretch out your legs and next thing you're knocking your leg off somebody when you're crossing. Whereas sometimes when you're cornering, if the other person doesn't have their legs out, you can put your legs all the way out.

It's a very nice sensation. I do like. with the cross that if I want to I can easily touch an elbow which Aiden your brother talked about if a girl touches your elbow it means it's on it means we're fucking

it's a sign it's on and for me to reach across the table touch your elbow is like a little try hard you know like if you go across the bread cornering is good if you're getting a vibe cornering is good because you can get the vibe if you keep touching each other and there's nothing awkward then you know that shit is on but if I have to go

across the breadsticks to touch you it's too much yeah cornering and crossing is a great topic yeah are you a cornerer or a crosser you love saying cornerer or crosser yeah can i tell you something about our first date i'm a very sweaty person and i mean right now i'm barely wearing any clothes and i feel like a clam and you've been actually you've been very touchy this pod had it just focus in a good way concentrate but like i noticed okay i'm sweaty and he's touching me and his hand is sticking to me i hope he doesn't get the ick i mean This is my, my, doesn't matter if I get an ick.

We're legally bound. My sweaty body feels. When you're legally bound, you're past icks. I am an embodiment of an icky, clammy, sweaty person. But anyway, so I wore- Through ickness and in-death, that's going to be when Gen Z's, when Gen Z start getting married. Through ickness?

Through ickness. And in death. Yes, that's really good. On our first date, I wore jeans because I, I picked the outfit. I wasn't thinking about the weather. It was 95 degrees. I'm in jeans, and I meet this guy. my back was so sweaty I could feel the beads of sweat

and I remember when we were walking into the restaurant you put your hand on the appropriate part of my back and I just remember thinking like oh no like because it was soaked my back do you remember this? No I don't recall any awareness of your problems with sweating you know so it wasn't an issue

there was no moral of the story men don't care Yeah, I mean, it really depends Just let them go watch football You didn't loud chew, everything was fine I do think one of my favorite parts about you Is that you can get so passionate Good or bad about things Like I find it like I will laugh at things

That like maybe other people won't find entertaining I love how passionate worked up you get And this one I know you're about to freak out on Okay One of my biggest pet peeves is when I go to the grocery store And I go to the self-checkout line for the sole purpose of avoiding people and not making a scene, yet the self-checkout register thinks it's appropriate to full volume announce every single item that I'm buying, and it is so

embarrassing to me for some reason. I'll go ahead and I'll scan my peaches, and it's like, place your peaches in the bag next to you. And now everyone in this little area knows exactly what I'm buying, and I just feel so embarrassed for some reason, like someone's going to be judging me for buying out of season fruits and vegetables. And then, God forbid, at the end of me scanning everything, it says my total. And the register is like, you spent $45, place your card here. And it's like now everybody knows I spent $45 on like three overpriced things. It's such a humiliating and unnecessary experience.

And I hate it. That's a good, but why did you think I was passionate about that? Not necessarily this in particular, but the concept of self-checkouts. I'm a big fan of self-checkout. You love a self-checkout. but you are picky about it you want you want people to go fast you don't want people messing around like can't find the code know where the code is or whatever it's called i mean if there's only like in a cvs where there's only like one or two yeah i'm going to express impatience but it's

largely for your entertainment he's saying when i do it not other people because i'll be like there's something you get off on getting that beep you know you're trying to get the beep you know you're trying to get the beep and sometimes it takes me well to find how to get the beep on the QR code. Yeah, I think, like, first of all, can we, let's not digress off of this, right? Because this is very specific, because I'm actually not that aware of loud checkouts with the items. Are you?

I'm more aware when it's like, you're just trying to check out, and it's, it makes the cashier come to you for, like, no reason. It triggered something. It's like, when you're trying to do TSA pre, and then you get a random ID check or something you know what yeah you're like okay when you're married to somebody when you have tsa pre and they don't have tsa pre but like the only thing i'm trying to do this like quick by myself and it's like you have to wait for a cashier and then you just stand there and the cashier does not want to help you they don't give a fuck i wouldn't give a fuck either eventually they come

over it's like you made a mistake like you're so dumb you couldn't figure out this cashier situation yeah well they a lot of times it should be like can i just delete that why do you have to come over and fucking fucking swipe your fucking card. Okay, I don't need the apples. The apples are going to be like this much of a hassle. I don't need these two like not even ripe apples. But this thing is like I think super,

it's a fair enough pet peeve because supermarkets should have the volume in check. Yeah. Because there's a privacy issue, you know. It can't be like, depends undergarments, you know. $14. Yeah, like what if I'm getting plan B, tampons, all these things. I don't need it. All these things that are embarrassing, even though they shouldn't be, but the way we are in this

life, people get embarrassed about, you know, about sanitary. Yeah, I feel like, because I feel like in New York, they're not loud. Well, also in New York, no one gives them. Or maybe New Yorkers are so loud. You can't hear the fucking, just, no, New Yorkers never shut up, so you never actually hear the register. Yeah, this sounds like a peaceful, like, Walmart. Yeah, when you're in a small town, though, it's like, you don't want people in your

business of what you're buying and what you're getting and I get it it's also a little like I want it like I want it like a drug deal stuff I buy I don't need everyone knowing what my choices are yeah it's a great pet peeve can I add some check out pet peeves yes I knew you would have some yeah well check out pet peeves I had okay and I have a routine about this but for those that have not seen my comedy from 20 years ago I haven't okay my biggest pet peeve is like in a more like in a convenience store or something where there's not like a lot of checkouts or for example in fucking leadle in west hampton where even though there's like eight fucking aisles there's only ever one or two people working my biggest pet peeve is huge line right and then

suddenly it's like checkout number two is open and the person who was last on the fucking line yeah last on the one line is suddenly first yeah this isn't the bible okay the first last and last first is not the way we live this is a democracy i would never I would always be like, hey, this is open. Do you want to go in front of me? I understand that somebody's going to get screwed there, but I'm certainly not going to be like, oh, screw you, suckers.

I happen to be on the end right when the other one opened. True. It drives me crazy. Are you finicky with like the, if it says 10 items or less, if people actually have 10 items? Oh, Hannah? Is that you or the dog?

I don't know. I don't smell anything. Was it you? I don't know. I don't smell anything. Well, because we both could have farted and it could have been that smell.

I actually have to poop. I've been holding it in. It was like right in my mouth. It was literally right in my mouth. Oh, God. Jeez, Louise. I like, I get distracted the podcast. So while Hannah's going to the bathroom,

I'm shocked that Hannah has asked me about the express. I didn't even know the express name was still a thing. But the thing that used to bug me about the express lane back in the day was, you know, So there was the rule about 10 items or less, but like the same item was considered one item. But then some people would have like so many of the same items like six or seven times. So it's not really express, is it? Can we point out that you tried to blame the dog on your fart?

Isn't that what you're supposed to do? You did try to. No, you gave me an opening. You go, was that you or the dog? And I thought you were trying to say, if you want to get out of this, you can. oh okay I also have to say when I first started

going to the grocery store I didn't fully understand the like bag fruit situation like they don't really tell you what has to be bagged and what doesn't and sometimes I can't find the bags

and that's very confusing to me I mean I'm old enough to have gone through various iterations of how you deal with the fruit you know like back in the day I used to just literally be like you wait it at the thing, you know, and it used...

Oh, you wade it there? Yeah, like at the spot. And then... Back in the day. And then you'd tell them? I'm trying to remember the original. I feel like the original before automation. I don't know, was there like somebody standing there?

Because I remember, like, when I was really young, I remember like literally like old school scales. You go, when I was really young, you just had to go to the tree and pick the apple off. When I was really young, you're negotiated with the farm, okay? Yeah. I had a bag of beans. But I remember a time where you waited and like a ticket came out and then you put that ticket on the bag. We've all been there.

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and by that I mean tacos, pizza, maybe Indian if I'm feeling, you know, wild. But food is what brings me happiness. And that's why I am obsessed with DoorDash. I probably use it the most of all the apps. Get back to school savings, though, you really want and get unlimited free DoorDash delivery with Dash Pass. Just $4.99 a month for students. It's so where. it with zero dollar delivery fees exclusive items go off order late night early morning anytime you need and right now there's over 25,000 members only offers nationwide for you to take advantage of it gives you access to your favorite restaurants saving you grocery runs convenience store trips and they have your back even with gift shopping dash pass for students gets you delivery in an hour or less

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And I just want it to be completely silent when you're eating. I mean, obviously, there's a little bit of a hangover from last week on this. but I have to say the lack of pressure control on your fork and knife and on your spoon in the bowl is a big pet peeve of mine. I do have to say if you scrape the knife against the plate, I'm out. Check please. If I do that, I apologize. I'm aware. Like I've done it and I'm aware.

It's like a chalkboard situation. Yeah. But also the tapping, you know, people or how about this one? The teeth against the fork. Do you have a eat with somebody? I can't do that. I can't do that. However. You ever eat with somebody who's the teeth against the fork? Yeah, like they scrape it through their teeth. Like, what are you bragging? Like you have the world's strongest teeth? Unbelievable. I do have to say, or you know when like people hold forks like babies? Oh yeah, people who never learned how to eat? And they hold the fork like, imagine me your soulmate and they eat like they're holding a fork like a banana. So like they're holding the fork like Cocoa Groff's forehand grip. Like all four fingers just holding it.

And they're like, and they eat stuff with it. Yeah, like they never, like somebody forgot to tell them when they were six. By the way, this is how adults eat. Yeah, like their parents just missed a whole step. Yeah, you got to have, you got to have pressure control on your fork and knife. You can't be tapping. Also, you know, when people hold a pen like this, but sometimes people put the pen through like weird fingers like this, like between their ring finger and their middle finger, I hate when people do that. with their fork.

Oh, interesting. Yeah, I mean, I, I, I don't think it's that common, though. Yeah, I'm not aware of it, I have to say. It's like when someone holds their pen, you know, like those kids in class who hold their pen weird and you're like, that kid's fucking weird. That's your peeve. You don't notice that the holding the pen technique? I'm like, okay, you're fucking. I didn't, I have to say, I didn't pay attention to pen holding technique.

Finally, we're learning about Hannah's. It took us two episodes to learn about Hannah's weird peaves. I've been very honest. You know, I've been vulnerable. Also, I don't care if your handwriting is shit. If you hold the pen weird, it's weird. Yeah, okay, that's fine. That's a good pet peeve.

But I do have to say with this pet peeve, too, you know the sounds like people put in a movie for like when you're in a restaurant and it's like you hear the forks clinging and stuff like that? I like that sound. Yeah, but it has to be like... Consistent. Or, yeah, it has to be like a distant. Do you know what people were really mad at me about when I lived at a tennis academy?

My pressure of my footsteps, apparently I'm a heavy walker. Aiden's a heavy walker too. Yeah, I don't want to. Aiden has a habit of like wearing shoes that, like, when he walks, his heel also kind of clicks off the ground as he's walking forward. I mean, it sucks when you put a certain shoe on that's so fucking. noisy and when you're walking you're just like I'm sorry or you're squeaking and you're just like I'm sorry but I'm a heavy walker like I would walk up the stairs and they'd be like

Hannah's coming so then I try to like walk light but it's just it's in your DNA DNA I don't not like a I've never noticed you to be a heavy walker I think it's because you like me Omar's coming would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year I wouldn't say anything is a failure especially because we all grow every day obviously the goal is a championship there's no doubt in that and that's the goal we want to win a championship I'm Christina Williams, host of

the podcast in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind the scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions but we have to remember

how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus, exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted. But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way. And we're hoping to, you know, make it run. So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHeart women sports production

in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year? I wouldn't say anything as a failure, especially because, we all grow every day. Obviously, the goal is a championship. There's no doubt in that. And that's the goal.

We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMPA playoffs are here, and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else.

It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted. But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way. And we're hoping to, you know, make it run. So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHart Women's Sports Production

in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Okay. Speaking of loud, I love a segue. My biggest pet peeve is when people bring their music and blare it so loud for everybody to hear. It's so entitled and it drives me mental. Like, buy an AirPod and listen to your own music. Don't force me to join your music listening party when I did not say I wanted to come. Maybe we have different tastes.

Like, keep it to yourself, bro. Amen, sister. This is a whole phenomenon where people walk around playing music. Is it because of, like, back then, people would hold, like, full beatbox? and walk around in... Yeah, which was actually... When you think about it, they called them ghetto blasts, right?

Which now is clearly that's inappropriate, right? Like, it's funny when you... Well, it's like noise pollution. Yeah, but the thing was that, you know, that wasn't actually that common, you know? It was more like TV shows. Yeah, but also like, it was pretty, you know,

I don't, yeah, like, that wasn't actually that comic. That would hurt your shoulder. Guys can't do that all the time. But these days, because everyone has music, like, I find it very weird the way I'll see kids walking around like an actual oh that was pretty loud sneeze for somebody as a peppy of a lot sneezer no there was no yell along with it it was just pure sneeze when you go that's a loud sneeze anyway people walking on a Bluetooth speakers now and and you know banging out like loud i don't get or like the subway just on their phone well that unacceptable but like what kind of either

lack of self-awareness do you have or do you think that you're making it a more enjoyable ride because your taste in music is so good. No, but even people are like watching, sometimes even on a plane too, they'll be like watching the show with the volume up. Oh yeah, when people are playing games on their phones, like, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. Not a communal experience, bro.

No, not at all. No. So I'm glad. This is a good pet peeve. People who play music in public places, it's so wild to me because I'm too insecure to play my music at a house party that wants music. I'm immediately like,

everyone's going to judge me for the song. I also just want to. play the same song 10 times in a row that's how I listen to music I like a song at that time that's how I do it I'm immediately just worried what everyone thinks of my taste in music and they'll be like she's going through something I mean I'm fine with like a cyclist doing it like some of the yeah I've seen the city they're moving they're moving it's fast it's like you know and like even though it annoys me when like you know some kid comes in from New Jersey and he's cranking out music on his car but still it's quick you know it's not it's

not a real issue I do have a good memory when DMX passed away that was not the good memory it was very sad but all of new york was blasting dmx that day and it was very cool and very fun every now and then you're walking down new york city and a bop comes by and i'm like i respect that yeah well the good thing about new york city is you don't get a lot of country music blasting out of the cars most of the time the music's actually pretty good babe some people like i i can i i understand i understand some people's pet peeves are people who go like all all music except country which which is which is fair enough are you saying you like country you want to come out are you coming out as what

did I tell you that my mother came out it's like in country music like very late in her life oh like she would want to listen all day I got in the car I got when I was driving right and I'd be back from my I get in a car a couple times I came in the country was on I was like ma

the country station was on when I she's like yeah I like country music I was like how if I lived my whole life not knowing she was hiding it from you she must have been hiding like a dirty little secret I like country music songs I wouldn't say I like it's okay i'm just kidding around anyway i'm just kidding around um but yeah the obviously the the phone you know the the loudness on the phone even like loud talkers you know um one time we were out to

eat me and achillian was over from ireland and he was like oh my god americans talk so loud on the phone in public and that is definitely a difference in new york city if someone's on the phone like you know everything about their life immediately yeah Americans are actually loud on the phone And I know I'm an American But Ireland definitely caused me To be more respect Because I really notice that in the Delta Lounge

I know it sounds posh But in the Delta Sky Club There are some people that love to be on their Fucking AirPods on the phone And it's like, yeah bro I don't need Or like some tech thing You know

Like you're not the only person Send it to Harriet to work on that code It's like I don't fucking need to know about your stupid tech missus say boomers when they're in their own house love to yell on the phone like i have to tell my dad you know that you don't have to yell for them to hear you and they're in another state you just have to talk into it and it will go yeah like they think if they yell louder the person will hear them better my mom my mother up you know because like in the afternoon my mother would always be on the phone and uh you know like like walking around with the cord so you'd have like this is my mother be pacing

in the kitchen and then there would be the sound of her like manipulating the cord or Like, she'd always have to, and then you'd be, like, need to go to the fridge, and she'd have to, like, put the cord over us, and we would, like, duck under to get to the fridge. But, like, obviously, you'd only hear one hand for the conversation. So, this is always the joke. My mother would be like, what? You're kidding! It's like so loud, but our house was just loud.

What do you say? He didn't say. What do you say? You don't say. What do you say? He didn't say. Okay. Also, my dad's biggest pet peeve was growing up when we were.

were eating dinner and the phone would ring and it would be a telemarketer like we'd be at he like he'd have to pick it up he'd be like if this is a fucking telemarketer I swear to God and he'd answer the phone he'd be like why don't you give me your number and I'll call you back when you're at dinner with your family and he'd hang up and then he'd storm back he'd be at the fucking telemarketer calls during dinner actually my dad never cursed but he was very funny about telemarketers at dinner Okay, so this pet peeve might be very specific, but I hate it when I am in some sort of public setting, like at a dinner, at a party, whatever, and someone references a video, like a viral video or something. And if I say, oh, no, I haven't seen that. And then they proceed to pull it up on their phone.

And we're in a noisy place, and I have to sit there and act like I'm watching the video. and then laugh if needed or give some sort of feedback like just send it to me like a normal person and then I'll watch it later and we'll see if I have notes. It's a good pet peeve. That is so funny. That's the very millennial slash Gen Z. It's like even not millennial or Gen Z if someone's like, have you seen this movie and you're, and you lie and you're like, yeah, don't then like test the person.

Just let me lie and then go and tell your story. Because if you say no, they go, oh, you haven't seen it? How have you not seen that? And then you're in this awkward place where you feel like you made a mistake in life. I mean, what's the percentage hit rate of people saying you have to see this video

and then them showing it to you together? Because like, it's just a lot of pressure. Yeah. You know, and what is the percentage rate? 10, 15%, like every now and then somebody will do it and it'll genuinely be hilarious and I'll have, I'm glad that I had to share it the moment with them.

Yeah. But more often than that, it's like, yeah, yeah, that was good. No, it's, you're always going to be disappointed at the person's reaction because you're going to put it up like, this is the best video you've ever seen. And that person feels so much pressure to react that they're going to freeze. They're not going to know how to react and they're not going to know how to enjoy the video calmly because they feel you breathing down your fucking neck being like, do you like, do you like this video? And everyone's watching it. Even though you do get upset when you send me one and you can see me watching it across the couch. Because, you know, we can literally be like 10 feet from each other, but still communicating.

Des will literally be like, what are you doing? And I'm like sending you TikToks. Yeah, so then I'll look at the video. And I'll like, I'll enjoy it, but you will definitely be disappointed with my reaction. If you, sometimes, if you, no, it's, you like my videos. You don't always get my memes. But that's because I have, like, a really highbrow sense of humor when it comes to memes. But I agree with this peeve, though, in terms of, like, it's not the time.

It's not the time. Plus, it's like, we're at a party. Like, we don't need to be looking at videos right now. It's not video watching time. For sure. And then it's literally, you're just watching the video for you to enjoy it. And that is just like, there's something mental with that, that it's never going to work the right way. Although I have to say recently, John Bishop was here, British comedian.

And he was asking me about Dave Chappelle. And he was asking like, why is it that people love Dave Chappelle so much? And I said, well, have you seen the Chappelle show sketches? And he was like, no, I haven't. And I was like, well, they are amazing. But he was asking. for it like he was asking about it yeah i know but the thing was that then he came on when he was like let's watch some of these chapel sketches uh-huh right and he wasn't like loving them and i was like

i was like upset you know like but i don't know why i felt responsible for day like i didn't make the dave chappelle show and i love the dave chappelle show but i don't need john bishop to love it but i was feeling pressure even though none of the scenario was mine he brought up dave chappelle yeah and he asked to watch it, but still, somehow I felt like I was responsible for every sketch Dave Chappelle ever made. That's like when I watched The Wire Without you and saw the scene where they

say fuck for like 15 minutes. I thought it was the most amazing scene. Then when you came to watch with me, I said, we have to watch a scene. You're like, babe, I've seen this scene. But I was like, no, we have to watch this scene. It's so good. And by the time we watched it, it's like I already got too worked up about it. Plus, I'd already seen it. And you already

saw it, but I was like, you need to enjoy the scene now. It's like, yeah, you get obsessed with controlling other people's reactions. And it's like any story that you go, this is going to be such a good story. The other person immediately, like, the psychology of it is like, it's not going to be the best story. And then you're like not rooting for it. But I do have to say that it has been good that you're enjoying the wire.

I mean, had you not enjoyed the wire, it would have been fine. But I'm glad. Actually, you know what? It was more to do with the wire and my love for the wire was I was happy that the wire held up that you could watch it now, 20 years after it came out, and still enjoy it. Great point. Also, I would argue that when you want someone to watch something, I can't enjoy it because the whole time I'm watching it through your lens.

Of course. So like when I'm watching The Wire, are you like that? No, well, only at the beginning, but once you decided you liked it. But also, I do want to point out that you're the one that pushes us watching it together. I keep telling you to drive on, but you're insistent on meeting around. It's so weird. Some things I enjoy, but only when I'm watching with you. And I also want to say that I was not pressurizing.

you to watch the wire at all. We were looking for something to watch and I don't know how it came up, but you decided to give it a go. Okay, back to mouth stuff. Okay, my pet peeve is that people do not cover their mouths when they yawn. I don't know if you've ever looked in the mirror when you've yawned, but your face is contorted and it's not cute. And people are walking around on the streets and yawning. And it's so gross. It's so upsetting. I don't know why this isn't taught to us as children that we need to cover our mouths when we yawn a sneeze cover a yawn cover a cough cover cover that shit up i like it why did i just yawn when she was saying that oh i thought you did that as a joke no the cuts even saying yawn is so contagious interesting but i do agree with her like

you could catch a fly yeah i mean i i don't get upset with yawning but i guess if i'm near somebody and I yawn, I get paranoid because I have so many fillings. So I become aware of, it's like, I'm like, are they looking at my fillings? That's so funny. But, uh, but I mean, but this is a good peep because this is like, this is her shit, which is cool because, like, yawning doesn't bother me, but it's interesting. Like you've never gotten an ick from a girl because she yawned. No, but, you know, I, I never got to, I never thought about icks until the whole ick thing

happened, but yawning, no girls have a yawned around. me because I'm so entertaining. No, yawning never gave me the ick. I remember in school, like in middle school, we would be in like a circle. I also don't get it. Sorry, I'm sorry, I cut across you, but while it's fresh in my mind, I don't get offended when people yawn because I know it has nothing to do with boredom and all to do with their brains needing oxygen.

I used to yawn when I was on the tennis court sometimes. Yeah, yawning and people get offended at yawning. But I do remember, I didn't really care about my looks very much, but I remember I had crush on this one guy and we were in like a circle at school in middle school and when I yawned I made sure I covered my face because I didn't want him to see me like look weird when I yawned you ya yeah but I I think that's that's a good peeve because that's very specific and I'm sure there's other people listening to me like finally somebody speaking the truth and I'm down with that but yawning doesn't bother me I've yon again I can't stop yawning since you're talking about yawning

No, because I'm actually testing it. There's a yawning. The concept of yawning is like letting something go. So then when you're covering your mouth, it's like a... Like you're keeping it in? Like you're not letting it go. Yeah. Like you're blocking the flow.

Yeah, and that's how you can get lung cancer. Hannah, like, don't even start with the misinformation. That'll be a thing that'll happen now. People will believe anything. If you hold in your yawn. Yeah. Did you know that? Oh, actually, do you know what?

That's a good topic. Like, you know, old wives tales. Like, when you were a kid, were you told that if you swallow gum, it'll stay in your stomach for seven years? Yeah. Yeah. Bullshit. Also, when you...

And I didn't swallow gum for most of my life. Also, if you swallow a pit, like a cherry pit. Yeah, you poop it out like everything else. You just poop it out. Well, that's like mom's saying you're going to get pneumonia if you go out with your hair wet. Yeah. Absolutely. But, but I guarantee you right now that some people did not know the gum thing.

Like that, that's one of those ones that really. sticks. No pun intended. Cracking your knuckles gives you arthritis? Yeah. Bullshit. Well, then people would tell me as a young girl who made a lot of silly faces. If you make too many silly faces, you stay like that.

You stay like that. If you cross your eyes, it stays like that. But after your child, you go, you realize that's bullshit, right? But the chewing gum thing, I guarantee you, at least one of our listeners right now, didn't know that the chewing gum thing is bullshit. Do you know, poop it out like everything else? Do you know sand is not real? Oh, my God.

Drop the mic. Drop the mic. Okay, what's this one? Hi, Hannah. I wanted to let you know that I had to copy and paste a link to record this message. Now I fear that I will be a victim of fraud. But I wanted to tell you that my biggest pet peeve is when someone tells you a story, a very boring story and a monotone voice, and you have to reply that you weren't listening.

because you forgot to listen. You started thinking about other things. And then you have to look like an asshole, even though it's their fault. They told a shitty story. They're not good storytellers. That's my biggest pet peeve. Thank you.

See, I'm guilty of going, yes. And they go, I didn't ask a question. You're like, what? So who messaged us from the ASMR Society? Because that was very ASMR. Mar. Right? Am I right? Yeah. Some people's audios are better than others. Her order was almost too good. Yeah. She was close to the mic. Very good. But I can't add to that. She has a good NPR voice. I can't add to that. That's a good, it's a good, it's a good pet pee.

Well, do you, if you lost, you weren't listening. I try to guess, man. I try to throw down a guest response. I guess just not for sure. I try to throw, I'm pretty good at my guesses, though. I feel like I have a very good hit rate. What do you say? Really? Yeah. Yeah? Wow. And then what happened? Wow. And then what happened? That's crazy.

I say that's crazy. I always go, that's crazy. Crazy. That's crazy. And then I'm just trying to like, trying to fucking hand. Because like sometimes you like, you don't realize, but you did listen, but you have to like, you have to go back into the part.

You know, you have like this compartmentalized part of your brain that actually was listening. And then you go, oh yeah, I was actually listening to that while I was thinking about, you know, what I was going to have for dinner. Or you get deep in the lie and you're like, I really hope I'm not giving like insane. I'm not taking the wrong side of this story. You're like, that's fucked up. Especially at night.

Sometimes I literally fall asleep. It's not because their story's boring. It's just because I'm like after 9 p.m. I'm out, you know? And then I'll be like, I'll try to guess. But eventually they'll, have you ever? Have you ever responded to a dream when you were like dozing off? And you say something related to what you were dreaming.

And the person's like, what are you talking about? I was like, oh, shit. I think I was just dreaming that. While they're talking to you. No, no, no, no, no, this is kind of separate, sorry. Sorry, I envisioned you, like, getting into a dream, like, state, you're sleeping with your eyes open. No, so, has that ever happened?

Because I'm such a loser late at night. So you actually, like, say something related to, like, your sleep. Yeah. And then people are like, will you sleep? Do you own it? Does that happen? Yeah, well, you have to own it because you're like, why were you talking to a wizard? You're like, yes, a new coffee.

Get out of my house. That's happened to me. I like birds. Yeah. Or, you know, it's always embarrassing is when you get a, when you get like a jump scare, you know, a sleep jump scare when you're around somebody. That's like an airplane when you twitch while you're sleeping.

Yeah, and you're next to a stranger. You're like, sorry, I was falling off a building. Yeah, sorry, yeah. I thought I was evil to evil. This also reminds me when you're reading a book and you just like keep spacing out during the paragraph and you can't get past that one paragraph or when you keep having to rewind a part of a movie.

Yes. Because you, but then you realize. Accept it. Because nothing, it's over. It's over. But like you, you keep spacing out at the same part. And then once you actually watch it, you go, oh, because that part was fucking boring and nothing important happened. But do you think you missed something that was important?

That's a good point. The paragraph and the, I mean, that's my, that's my whole life. Reading the same paragraph for 10 weeks. Anytime I try to sleep, if I'm trying to read at night, it's like it's not going to happen. I'm trying to watch up the night. It's not going to happen. Do you think well? Have you ever fall asleep on the phone?

You ever fall asleep on the phone? No. Oh, I have. Yeah, I know. I feel like you fell asleep on the phone all. the time when we'd FaceTime. Yeah, but it's not because it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not to do, it's nothing to do with the person that I'm talking to.

No, but you'd be fighting it. It would be so cute. You'd be like, yeah. Eventually, I have to be like, listen, sorry. I'm actually, I'm literally, I'm, actually, I'm literally, this is a great performance. So I think we're good. I think we figured it out. It's a lot of pet peeves to talk about in a short space of time.

I feel like, even though pet peeves are annoying, I felt a sense of joy of like going through it all and realizing, you know, we all deal with the same bullshit. Yeah, and there was some great, you know, because there was some peeves that inspired me and there were some peaves that I found curious because they're not my peeves. We've gained some new peeves. We've lost peeves, and together, we had a good peave. I mean, it's been nice to peeves drop. I like to peeve with you another time. Yes. It's been, it's been a fun, I can't think of any more peeve. It's not Adam and Eve. It's Adam and Peeve.

All right, Donna Summers. Somebody watch a Donna Summer documentary. Guys, we love you so much. Go to hanaburn.com slash shows. The pot is over. We love you. Thanks for calling. Cat callers.

Whatever team Fia is on has a chance to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace. the new challenge that we have. So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and Iheart women sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment

on IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.