Berner Phone - Berner Phone #45: Best Flirting Strategies

Episode Date: June 15, 2024

Hannah, Des, and the dialers are recalling their best and worst attempts at flirting. We discuss whether guys actually enjoy negging and drop one of the most unique DM slides we’ve ever heard. 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN For skin and body care, get 10% off with code BERN at OSEAMalibu.com If you want fuller and plumper lips, get 15% off sitewide with code BERNER at citybeauty.com For refreshing drinks, go to liquiddeath.com/BERN 25% off your first month of Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic at Seed.com/bern code 25BERN Upgrade your atheltic wear at GreatnessWins.com with code BERN  

Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. What's up, my little dialers? We've got a little flirty episode today. That's right. We asked for flirting tips from the dialers. I wonder if because of technology over the years, people are not as good at flirting because

they could do so much virtually. Well, there's just not as much flirting that's necessary. Well, certainly, the apps made it easier for guys. I think the main beneficiary of dating apps has been men because the societal expectation is on a man to make the move. And the apps made it a hell of a lot easier to make a move. move you know obviously it's really increased the disappointment factor for women because a guy could have game on the app and then terrible game well yeah especially if you're a creative director

I like to say and you can creatively project a lot of great things onto this man who's sending you like short text messages and you meet up with them and you're like who the hell is that that's not the guy I created in my head now also the apps have definitely helped shy people Because, you know, shine is not a negative. No. But it can seriously hinder your desire to walk up to a stranger. It's kind of like how some people are really good at interviewing, but they're not that great at the actual job.

But if you're not good at interviewing, it's hard to get the job. Right. Then some people, you end up dating and you're like, where was this person? You're not the person I went on like the first couple weeks with. You're a monster. Well, this is the issue. You know, this is the problem is that,

you know, people that present well in the short term might not be the long-term solution. Also, if someone's trying too hard to present well in the short term, they're overcompensating for some serious demons they're hiding. Not that demons are bad. We love a demon. A lot of us have them.

Yeah, I mean, now, in fairness, this is the way I took this, and certainly the way that it seems to have come through, is much more about, you know, the initial flirt. The pre-knowing each other flirt. I would argue that's the hardest part. Well, 100% it's the hardest part. Now, I'm assuming that it's mostly women that have messaged in.

I was only reading them, but it's mostly women. And I do want to point out that women have it pretty easy on the flirt front. Well, regardless you're men or a woman, you don't want to be rejected. It's almost worse getting rejected as a woman because you're like... Well, flirting is not hitting on, though. Flirting is just, you know, sort of like, you know, trying to create vibes yeah it's still majority gonna be the man that makes the move but a lot of the time these guys aren't and you have to do it i mean i would do it a lot

because i'm i was bored yeah and outgoing so it was just like fun for me like i was the friend that someone would be like hey that guy's hot i want to talk to him and i'm like i got you and i would do something weird and then they would bond over like me being goofy or something yeah like yeah i'd be the silly one that's like a little too silly that the guy's like okay that was crazy what is there word for that move sidekick the crazy sidekick yeah i just say some stuff and then i and then he is like weird he looks at her he's like well that girl's better energy and she's normal and then i'm like whoopty-do and then i go to the next thing what's the next thing helping my other friend finding myself some something just going around i have a lot of games i'm playing at the bar i got a lot

of things that were you when the apps began um the funny thing is i did not have the apps in college the apps didn't exist a decade ago no the apps existed but not on your phone i remember becca joined like plenty of fish and i oh my god i went on plenty of fish for becca and i told all these people like i dropped all these messages giving them her number so then she started getting people messaging her but we didn't know who it was and it was like complete fuck up and we were like well this stupid this didn't work i i didn't quite understand that so how do i we matched with a bunch of people right then i was like i'll i'll talk to them you were also on plenty of fish too i was cosplaying her oh okay so i was like i'll talk to them and i was like hey you're cute

like if you want to hang out text me and i sent that because i'm all about you know you got star of numbers you got to spread it out right see what you get but then like 10 people texted her and she's like who's this and I was like I don't know oh because you didn't know which one of course and of course they were all useless because it turns out she was gay I think she had just come out and that's why we went on and I was like trying to get her a girlfriend

oh you were trying to get her a girlfriend I was like a little too excited about Becca coming out like she like I was more excited than she was let's just say yeah because the apps definitely I feel like you're timing on the I feel like Tinder has been around longer than 10 years. It's possible, but no one was using apps in college where now everyone, you just go on Hinge or Tinder

and you like meet up with people and everyone's your age. Like, it's actually crazy to think. Because in college, I still was like, oh, you want to go hang out with someone? You've got to go to the bar and see if you meet someone. Or you like text your friends to be like, where's the pregame? Because I remember when Tinder came out, I was in Australia.

Well, not when it came out, but the first I became aware of Tinder. I was in Australia. and to me dating sites I would never in a million years have gone on a dating site well they also had that reputation of like it's for people who can't get a date yeah so but then

you know actually I think Beck Sutherland my promoter over there was like oh this this exists and it's real and people are using it and I went on it and then I was like the whole time thought it was a scam and then I met up with some person I couldn't even tell you who it was out in St.

killed her, you know, out in Melbourne. And I remember the whole time thinking that it was going to, and of course, she was just a normal person. We thought she was going to prank you. I just, it was just, I had no faith in it. At the beginning to me, it seemed like such an outlandish thing. We asked people what are their best flirting strategies. And I actually have a flirting strategy that works 100% of time.

Okay, what's 100% of the time? Yeah. And it's not, it works 100% time that you'll never feel shitty afterwards. Okay. So, how do you feel shitty afterwards? Sorry. If, like, you put yourself in an uncomfortable position that, like, he is uncomfortable. Like, I just don't, I want to avoid being uncomfortable.

I think as a stand-up, I like, I like to push boundaries without anyone feeling uncomfortable. So what I like to do, and this is me as, like, kind of a social person, when you're at the bar, you're with these people for a couple hours. Like, it's like a school dance where people can leave, obviously, but you're like, okay, we're all hanging out, but we're not talking. So if you see a handsome guy or someone you're into, he's normally with his friends. You find the ugly friend or the guy that you're not intimidated by at all or attracted to. Preferably, like pretty obviously, not your type. And you're going to the bathroom, whatever. You use him to kind of break the ice and say something.

Like, let's say he has a Yankees hat on. You say, like, go Mets. Or, like, he's wearing something. You say, like, I like your shirt. Like, you're kind of flirty, but, like, you're just, you're establishing a rapport with the ugly guy. With the ugly guy. Sorry, the non-desirable guy for you. Yeah, the non-desirable guy.

It's whatever. You're chilling. Sorry, can I just ask, is this somebody in a group or you're just practicing? He's in the group. Oh, he's in the group. So that guy has seen you, maybe or maybe not. If he's into you, he probably noticed, oh, she just talked to that guy. Why didn't she talk to me?

But whatever, we're planning steeds. This is a long game here. Okay. This is a lot of strategy. Go to the bathroom. You go past this guy again. Now you know this guy. Now he's your bro.

You pointed him. Kind of bro. You're not being like set. You're just like, my guy. like that kind of shit ignoring the guy you're into eventually you will talk to the ugly guy like at some point you'll come up to him and just be like what's your deal whatever in this vicinity of the hot guy now during this time if that guy is into you 100% of the time he will try to get in on the conversation okay and if he's not into you he won't and it's no harm no foul right and that's

and what about the feelings of the ugly guy we don't care right so you're this guy is a sacrificial lamb No, but also the ugly guy you could potentially fall in love with. He has a great personality. My thing is, why go straight to the person that you want attention from? Why not warm it up around? No, I like the technique because it's safe. But, you know, it does, it's not 100% of the time because you actually don't know if the fact that the other guy didn't come over is really a sign that he wasn't into you. That's an assumption.

That's true. But normally with... Could be shy that guy. I've done this where, like, a guy could, like, not talk to you for, like, two hours. And you're talking, like, all of his friends. But then eventually when he gets the balls, he's all his friends like you. But he doesn't realize that you've been manipulating the situation so that he finally can have the balls to say something to you. So you're basically just trying to join their gang.

Yeah. To give him, to make it easier for him. Exactly. You're kind of basically, it's kind of a service to men that you're providing there. But there is a sacrificial lamb in there. Yeah, but I would argue there's a way to be like flirty and a way to be normal. What about the bro code? Well, that's the thing.

So this requires the good looking guy to break the bro code. No, because I'm not like, like cozing up with his friend. It's very bro. Like I'm being very. Because you know, the ugly guy's going to be like, yo, bro, you fucking cockblocked me last night. I was fucking talking to that girl. Because I don't go one on one. Like it's very like I'm just breaking the barrier of like groups.

So I'm and maybe my group gets in I bring my friend, I introduce like it's very chill Okay, very chill So it's basically just giving the guys The chance to talk to you Because so many times girls would be like Guys never come up to me And people go oh well are you hanging out

With a ton of really beautiful girls Like guys will never show up So that means like you just go rogue And put yourself in a situation But then it's funny I don't like It's hard when a guy like so deliberately Goes up to talk to you Well that's just weird

Exactly like if you're at the bar some guys like I'm like already I'm out I'm out yeah but that used to happen more often because that was the only way yeah that was my that's you know I have a joke about that about the fact that that was like character building that you had to go up to a stranger what are guys supposed to do then if like well these days it doesn't happen as much because you don't have to I know but there is something about like let the girl like with an app yeah I can swipe right on more girls in a day than I did my entire life before the existence of apps.

Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I think the amount of girls I went up to just randomly like tried to hit on, right? Particularly strangers. So the amount of strangers that I went up to in a club or a bar within two days of Tinder's existence, I matched it. And I would argue it's not a good thing

because sometimes with these dating apps you waste your time on these people based on their photos and their words who you would have never naturally. gravitated towards at a bar and my thing is it's all about natural gravitation like I've definitely been on days with people being like would I have ever gravitated towards this person like do we even have chemistry or just this just a made up like app thing and then you waste your time what was your go to like if you were just like go up to a stranger well you know what

I can't even remember yeah you know you're talking a long time ago because once you get into comedy comedy makes you lazy man comedy like like if you're if you want if you want to ask a guy like do you have game you say well I used to then I became a comedian and you know I got fucking lazy because the ice is broken if they've seen you on stage oh yeah right the ice is broken and you've already made them laugh right because if you haven't made them laugh you're not hanging out because you're leaving because you've bombed so you hate yourself yeah so you're you definitely not have game that night right but you know more often than not like you broke that

You don't even have to be that good looking as a comedian, all right? Yeah, we know. If you're a reasonable looking comedian, let's just be modest here. Yeah. If you're a reasonable. Even an ugly comedian, it's hot. Yeah, so. Because you're like, look at this ugly guy.

That fucked up my game because shit, man. I remember, like, you know, when I first got sober and it was going like Sir Henry's nightclub and cork, I remember just having like no confidence to go up to, but it was all about the dancing there, but I just wasn't going up to random women being like, hey, do you want to. The comic thing is so funny because I feel like ugly guys do on comedy because every girl the crowd thinks, wait, this ugly guy's, like, really funny. Like, I'm the only one who sees that in him.

Like, I think I like him. And it's like, yeah, everyone felt that way. Yeah, but you've got the focus point that's on you, you know. Nikki Glazer talks about how it's actually, like, um, part of just like animalistic behavior that, like, the head man with the microphone and everyone listening to the leader, there's like a hotness about it. Right. Where...

It doesn't translate the other way around. But the thing I haven't really been singing. angle and a stand-of-comedian ever, so I don't know. I could have been... Well, my understanding from other female comics is it does not work that way. It doesn't work the other way around, for some reason. Yeah. And we can get a psychiatrist or an anthropologist and to talk about what that means.

Well, it's the concept of, like, funniness being kind of a male trait, but also female comics joke. And it happens to male comics, too. men will come up with you after the show and instead of being like oh I'm attracted I'm like that was great I'm into you they're like I think I could do that and next thing you know they're like asking you for tips on how to write their first five minutes

oh well a hundred percent what should I do get us to say no okay so let's not get let's not get fun getting on that let's let's begin okay I'm putting this up first because this came up 50%

50% of the messages Wow. Wow. And I want to say that I don't agree. Is it touching the elbow? No. I can't speak for women, but to flirt with a man, I've had a lot of success roasting the shit out of them. Because for whatever reason, they feel the need to come crawling back for your approval. You kind of got out of the tree like fishing, just give them a little slack, then reel them back in, let them back out, reel them back in.

Simple. This is the thing. There is an art form and a nuance to this that sometimes people miss. And I actually was doing this dating show the other week I was hosting. And I saw this young 21-year-old guy and this young 21-year-old girl. They're both very good-looking. He's so handsome. She's so pretty.

But you could tell he's alone secure and nervous. Right. And she's coming on like just like kind of making fun of him, making fun of him, making fun of him. And I see the moment when he's like, I'm not into this. Yes. like this is not fun and I realize like she's she doesn't realize that he's as he's insecure as a girl you think that like this hot guy he's tall he's confident all the girls want him me making fun of him should be fun for him but there people too there's an art to it where it's

like I'm poking fun at you but I'm also because I like you you know it's very interesting because this came up so often and Katie and I used to talk about this on the shift because she had a big when she came to the States because Irish girls are tough well yeah but they're also way overly reliant on this as a as a flirting method well so how do you decipher if she doesn't like you well so here's the thing so Katie said she had a big problem in the States because she'd be like ripping on guys and they'd be like getting hurt yeah yeah they'd be like not into it yeah off putting and I actually think that uh Neging, right, which is this stupid term that came from the game, you know, that book the game.

I think negging is an overrated flirtation technique. And by the way, I've always hated it in the sense that I love fucking roasting with my friends. But I immediately sense a neg. And I immediately just go, no. No, it's how you go about it. And she was, I think, trying to explain it the whole like reel him in, real amount. I'll sometimes open with something funny like, you know nice nice sneakers and he'll kind of be like weird about it and then you soften then you get

it's your opening and then you you're like you have to soften you cannot be neck neck neck neck neck neck neck neck neck there's definitely a nuance to it and you could tell when someone's just trying to neg someone it has to be organic because negging is also feeding off each other like if he's not playing the game with you you lost it's over he has to like come back at you and then you get out of character like let him know that it's a character that you had for a second. I don't know. I'm very passionate about it. Passionate about negging? About about the art of roasting properly where sometimes if you, if you break him down,

you have to build him back up. A man wants to feel good about himself when he's with you. You want to feel good about yourself when you're with him. But, and it also has to be funny. And it also can't be too in depth. So the concept of the game is that, you know, you neg, it was very much man to woman, but you neg them and then they they need to get your approval. I remember all the guys were reading that book. Yeah, but the thing is that it's an immediately negative situation. And I feel that considering 50%, like honestly, you have no idea.

Like every second message was roast the guy. I think that it's overly used as a positive thing. And actually, it's quite a risky formula. Why it has to be funny. Yeah, and a lot of people are not as funny as they think they are. That is the thing. If it's not funny and you're just being mean, it's not pleasant. It's awkward for everyone.

So unless it's funny, humor is a bonding thing. So that's how you're bonding through the roast and he has to play with it as well. But I do think I watched this thing on Instagram and I've seen many quotes about it, how if someone likes you, nothing you can say will fuck it up. Like if someone's out to you at the bar Like there's not like You always like smiley face And no smiley face I say this word

If any he will roll with whatever You're putting down If he's into it kind of thing I mean I get it like as an icebreaker You know? Because a lot of this It's kind of like It's one of these things where it's like

There's a flirt But then there's also just like Beginning interaction Right It can be hard Yes So you know I get it like as an ice breaker Yeah

But I do think it's a risky I think it's a riskier strategy One of my favorite openers and it's normally to guys that I'm like not that into but like whenever you see a really muscular guy or like a big guy you just go up to him and you're like do you go to the gym like it's just funny because it's like obviously he does he's showing off his muscles he'll be like yeah and then you kind of laugh and he kind of laughs like it's like it's a see how it's like it's not mean but it's also like it's funny yeah I mean considering I have the worst stiff neck I've ever had in my life I have an impingement in my C-F I think it would be funny. No, I think it would be funny if you came up to me today and said, do you go to the chiropractor? Do you do physical therapy ever? Do you do PT?

With the game and all these rules and stuff at the end of the day, it's just two people's energies. And you actually, if you overthink it or try too hard, it doesn't work. I think ultimately the way a relationship works is you're attracted to a person who's not immediately obsessed with you. You're attracted to someone who's sanely is like, I am attracted to you, but I don't know you yet, and I'd like to get to know you better. Yeah. The energy of just being like, I want you. That shit like gives everyone the hebi-jibis. You guys, it's a summertime, which means I stink.

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You'll get free samples with every order, my favorite part, and free shipping on orders over 60 bucks. head over to O-S-E-A-Malbo.com and use code burn for 10% off. I agree with this. I think this is a big part of it, considering this is mostly women-to-man today. Okay. What's up, Hannah and Des? I feel like one thing I think about flirting as a woman, I feel like the men just make it too easy.

I feel like you just, you literally have to be in the same room as them. You know, you can just glance in their direction. breathe the same air as them. Yeah, they'll fall for that shit every time. That was a very hot girl comment. One thing I've never understood is that I really think that women don't realize how easy it is. From woman to man. Now, I know that women will probably come up at me and be like, you think it's easy, but it's not.

But I promise you that if a woman had just a hint of self-belief, a pebble worth of self-belief, they could meet a guy every single time that they're out. But you said it yourself that guys have trouble approaching women. No, but if a woman believed, they could actually just go up and connect with a guy. Like it's just so easy for a woman if they actually believed in themselves. Well, she was saying what I was saying, which was get yourself in the vicinity.

Yeah, but that's what, well, she's saying what I agree with, which is for women, it's very easy. But it's not that. You just literally have to just like let it, be known how well we have now about 20 messages this is this is more the the generic comment of i think it's easy right here's here's a real practical tip oh my god does and bishop such a huge fan love you too um i am currently engaged to be married of course um but when i was single i live in nashville

and would go to a lot of bars and just flirt with a lot of guys. And my trick every time was to pretend I couldn't hear the guy. So, of course, I was at a bar. So I would put my ear close to the guy's mouth so he could like get closer to me and smell me. If I have perfume and I smell good, like, you know, get your mouth near his mouth. And I just feel like it kind of broke like that physical barrier we got close and yeah worked every time i got a lot of numbers and i got a lot of fun um made out with a lot of dudes so yeah just pretend you can't hear him and get really close works every time love that i mean great tip that's a tip that's a great tip it's a straight up tip it's a great tip because it's kind of like you go in 90 he goes in 10 but then you get that

closeness but i do have to say and then she's like and he can smell you i like that animalistic except you don't like perfume Well, no, I don't like too much perfume I do Because then he'll smile me and he's like I do have to say I wouldn't like if the guy kept saying what Because I'm about comedic timing

And if you miss the timing I'm not repeating my fucking joke No, this is woman to man Yeah, because if a guy keeps saying what to me I'm like oh my God You're missing all the good in this conversation Yeah, this is definitely woman to man And everything here is woman to man

Good tip You know anything to add on that? You also could just go up to the guy I'd be like, I lost my friends. No, because listen, that's a good one. I lost my friends. Then you just, you know, say, I think they're in this closet. So, no, but also we all remember that time where you're talking, like, suddenly there's just

the feeling, right? It's more than just, I like, this guy, you actually literally get, like, horny. So that's a good, like, horniness creator. Because once you hit that barrier, then. you know it's on like something you're not going to start over with someone else something shifts right so that's a good tip to get into that zone you know the zone of feeling of actual physical connection not just a oh this guy's nice this is one actually i believe that came from call her daddy a good tactic i used to use i'm pretty sure i got this from like the early days of call her daddy

was if you're like out with a group of friends go find a group of guys And whoever is like the most bold in the group, go up to the group of guys and ask them a really simple question like, hey, did y'all know where this other bar is located or like, hey, do you know, have y'all been to this bar before? Is there a drink special? Or something like that, something easy. And one of the guys will know they answer to it, answer you. And then you just say, okay, thanks and walk away. And then go back to your group of friends that's standing nearby. The odds that they're going to come back up to you because now they know that you're like available to be approached. are like a hundred percent yeah i don't think they're a hundred percent but i think that you you have you have certainly opened the door i love how she's like ask a very simple question no that's really good because that's the thing i think and i think i was trying to say that with my earlier strategy is that flirting does not have to start with like a real uh romantic Like it can literally start not romantic Just putting yourself out there

Because you're just getting to know people anyway It's not that much pressure Yeah, at the end of the day It's like two dogs One dog sniffs your hole So basically what you're doing is You're basically just letting them know That your ass is available for a sniff

You know? If you want to sniff you can If you want to sniff it come over And I don't We're not trying to read into that any deeper than Yeah And I do think it's fun to have a rogue friend who's like not interested in people or like has a boyfriend to like yell something to the guys like

no one that's me i'll play that role break the seal i thought this one was very uh very crafty okay i don't know if this is really like a flirting tactic but this happened to me by accident and then i realized that this was a fantastic strategy i would a while ago um was at a bar and i had Christian Yelich outfielder for the Brewers as the background of my phone and I was like sitting at the bar ordering a drink and this guy saw the background of my phone um from over my shoulder and started a conversation so I've done this many times with like different athletes if I'm like in their town or someone like really hot and kind of random so they're like damn she knows what she's talking about I'm telling you it worked maybe like eight out of ten times

and they come up to you like it was their idea Wow I mean that it's not a bad little little trick well she hit on something important which is easy conversation starters Like I would argue if you have a dating app You'll put something and you'll see how everyone will respond The same way to something

Like I'll say like I played tennis and everyone would be like I bet I could beat you But you have to give them something to make them think it's an easy in so it's like something as easy as when you go to the bar like wearing a funny earring or like having something like sometimes just a conversation starter is you'd be surprised how many more people will come up to you yeah but I do want to point out that getting pregnant I do want to point out that if you want to have the guys come over don't put like a UFC fighter on your phone it's going to track the wrong guys true don't put Joe Rogan on your phone

You need to have like a, just a better class of human sport type character. Don't put Andrew Tate on your phone. Yeah, that'd be a great conversation starter. But like, it's good to see some girls understand. Yeah. But I do think sometimes, like, wearing fun patterns or, like, wearing a dress with strawberries on it. Like, you'd be surprised, like, 20 guys will come up to you that night. You'd be like, I like, strawberries.

Well, that's kind of like peacock. Yeah, you're peacocking, for sure. Yeah, but this is not peacocking. No, this is subtle. This is subtle. and strategic and I like yeah when you're visiting different places putting the local person except I would I'm really bad at lying so they'd be like oh that's one question I'd be like I don't know I just put it I don't know yeah we get you have to make sure you know at least three things

yeah that's a lot of admin Kristen Yelich you know it's like oh yeah he hasn't been the same since he hurt his back but what if you're in a bar and that guy is in the bar then you're like a fan girl you got to think big picture that would have to be very unlucky You got to think big picture. You'd have to be very unlucky for that to happen. That Christian Yelich is going to be in the bar that night. You know? It's not going to happen.

Or she's like, is this a sign? Okay, so apparently this is a thing. Hey, Hannah. Hey, Dez. Giggler here. I love the podcasts. My flirting trick is probably that I simultaneously do the triangle look. I feel like there should have been more to that.

and it just stopped. But anyway, let's just leave it there because I didn't know the triangle look was a thing. Oh, yeah. And it came up numerous times, so I googled it. And it's basically just looking at three different parts of their face.

I thought it was eye, eye, mouth, eye, I mouth, eye. Yeah, like that, yeah. Do it to me? Oh, wow, you want to make out. They were married, we're not making out. Yeah, I guess, is it. Is it meant to be that there's some sort of insinuation that you're also looking at their lips?

You're thinking about, like, kissing them and stuff? Yeah, I guess I think I naturally will look at people's lips when they're talking. Yeah. Now we're just doing it to each other. No, but no, when people do it to me, I'm like, oh, fuck is it? Is there something in my two? Do I have a seed in my tooth? Do I have a bit of spinach?

Or I'm like, yeah, do I have like a piece of skin hanging off my lip? Yeah, shit, man. Is it, my lips dry? Do I have lips like on my teeth? Yeah. I do have to say one thing I'm not good at with flirting that Paige is really good at, and I've had other friends who are really good at this, is they're all in the eyes. They're all in the staring.

And eye contact is big one. I'm not a big eye contact person. I'm just my words. Really? You're not good of eye contact? No, it's not good. It's just... Oh, that's as bad as a soft handshake.

I go with my strength. I didn't know this about you before we got married. Talking, obviously, but I'm not the girl looking at you like a hawk from across the room. Like, I'll pretend like I didn't see. see you even though i've been aware of you for two hours i'm but like page i don't know if it's because she's like oh she likes making that eye contact across the room across like foxy scorpio eyes she'll just make eye contact stare like like basically with her eyes be like i want to fuck you and then he'll come to her right me by the way i want to take gay men are very strong on the eye contact well page

is basically a gay man she pay yeah she's giving gay man energy with the with the dead stare see i the second a guy stares at me i'm like no like across the room when we're talking i'm in it Game men don't give a fuck. I get a lot of the gay guy stares. I'll be walking down a street. And they're just like, I'm letting you know. You need to know that I'm looking at you. See, when I'm walking down the street, I never make eye contact with anyone.

Even if I see like a cute guy, I don't make eye contact. Right. Maybe I have intimacy issues. No, but that's fine. It's just not my... Eye contact as a flirting technique comes up a lot. It's not my strength. But it is the way, like, especially back in the day, it was the way...

It was kind of one of the only ways to let somebody know or to certainly You mean like the caveman era? No, if you should go up and talk to somebody, eye contact is kind of like the window. But I feel like if I am looking at a guy and he looks at me, I'm like, and I look away. Oh, yeah. But even that, even the demure look away could be perceived. Okay, maybe that's my thing. A demure look away.

I like that. Yeah, that can be perceived. So here's one for the power girlies. Mine's pretty simple. Make the first move. If you see a guy that you like, you love what he's about, go for it. What's the worst that could happen? They say no.

Why is women, are we constantly waiting around for men to choose us? No, no, no. We need to choose them. Trust me, you'll get a much higher caliber man that way, all right? Speaking from experience, I slid into my husband's DMs, and now we're happily married. So take life into your own hands, ladies. Don't be waiting around for these men. Love you.

Bye. Wow. Yeah, I mean, I really believe in this. You know, it's 2024, times have changed. Women got to be hitting on guys. Well, Paige and I were talking about this. A lot of women, you know, we've been taught to wait to be chosen by a man. Like I do my thing, and you wait for got to choose you.

But then some people would argue that it doesn't work out if you're more into him than he's into you. Yeah, but that's like a separate conversation. Yeah. We're not, we're not, that's like a whole other podcast episode about the dynamics of that. I would argue just because you started the conversation with him does not mean that you're more into him than he's into you. Yeah, I wouldn't even get distracted by that. I think that women should feel like in this day and age that it's totally fine to hit in a guy. You know, and if any man is put off by that, then that is not the man for you.

Because at the end of the day, you want a man who's confident with a confident lady. Yeah. You know, if you hit on some guy and a guy's like, I don't like when a girl hits on a guy, then like good riddins. what's the worst thing they could say is no and that's the whole thing is like men constantly have to face the what's the worst thing she could say no you got to deal with that rejection and and like it's fun to try so I would definitely be a big advocate for a woman hitting on a guy I don't think it shows desperation shows confidence oh yeah definitely not desperation I do think I was thinking about you at a bar and it made me think about resting bitch face like I could see girls being

afraid to come up to you because you have a very serious resting face. Yeah. And you're like that guy looks like he's not having a good night and doesn't seem approachable and I would argue when you're at the bar to try to have like a pleasant expression on your face and that could help.

Right. If you're smiling, you're laughing. You'll find a lot of sober alcoholics have resting bitch face at the bar. They're not in their like prime habitat. But I'm trying to think like if I had met you at the cellar, you would would have had a grumpy face on. No, that's not true.

You would have came up and said, I enjoyed your set. It was already, the ice was already broken. Oh, yeah. I already wanted to marry you after your set. But this is what I'm saying. The ice was broken. So it's not, using comedians as an example is actually, it's a bad example. Yeah, it's not comparable.

Yeah, it's like, you've got to be out there in the real world. Would you have come up to me after my set? I have no idea. I don't know. You know, I followed you off a Nikki Glazer story. Yeah. We never had to have. like a physical flirt but what i liked about you was that you were very straight up and to the

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Obviously, this is a classic. Hi, Hannah, Giggler from Delaware. My best trick for flirting is if I know a guy is interested in me and I want to reciprocate my interest, I always point my knee to his knee so our knees are actually touching. And then I actually try to kind of like, you know, swipe past the kneecap. So if he's okay with me swiping past the kneecap, then I'm going to put my hand on the knee.

I don't know if we keep running out today, but maybe they're not running out in the... Are you pressing it again? No, no. Well, where is she going to put her hand? She can put his hand on the kneecap. But she goes, and if I do that, then I put my hand on his, and then I went through it.

Oh, yeah. Let's just see if it did. Put the hand on the knee is what she was going to say, I think. Yeah, I mean, The whole touching thing is a great way to escalate from I've met you to this. It's going well. Yes. But then there's also that gray area where if you like touch too much, then he's going to feel like you better have sex with him that night. Well, again, that's a concern. But it's kind of like beyond the realms of this flirtation conversation. Yes.

obviously we're just talking about the right amount of touch to get the message across that yes sir this is going well yeah this is going well yeah i think in the game was some one of them was like if she touches your elbow you're good yeah but that is true though it definitely it's a sign when the when the woman particularly is touching the guy it's a sign that she's into it you know and i think too for a guy in a not creepy way, but in a conversation it's a way for a guy to test, you know, just a gentle touch

to test her reaction to that. If he said a gentle touch. Well, no, because I, listen, guys can be hansy and I'm not trying to advocate for a handsiness in any way. So I'm very consciously being careful with my words. You wear a firm, you know, pat on the back.

Well, not like one of the boys. It's okay, it's great to meet you here. But, no, I think, I think, think that's a good I think that's a good a good thing and I think the knee thing nice observation because that is one of those ones where you can act like it's incidental you know accidental touch oh we happen to have our knees touching you know yeah it is interesting how body language sometimes I think you'll do it naturally but also keep it in mind as good also have a question do you think enough guys friends are pushing them to speak to girls like are men supportive of it

I mean, I would think so, yes, but it's hard to say, but I would think that, because literally in my routine about what it used to be like back in the day going up to strangers, I have a whole thing about your friends being like, you could do it, you could do it. There's this hilarious TikTok trend of a guy, a guy goes to the camera and he goes, tonight I'm going to speak to 50 girls. And it's like him standing alone in the corner, like nodding his head with his voice. But that was the whole thing like, oh yeah, how many, you know, I'm going to keep going up. And, like, there were some guys that were just, just, they had, like, this bravado of just, like, randomly. That was their thing, you know, just randomly going up to women. And I guess they had some success. But just on the, on the contact front, here's some practical advice for, you know, making it physical without it being weird.

Hey, Hannah. Hey, Dez. Hannah, I've turned all my friends on to Giggly Squad, and we're all obsessed. And I'm going to see you in Madison. Go Badgers. Anyway, I don't know if this is my favorite, but just like the oldest trick in the book. And if you see two people doing this, you know, they're flirting is when people are holding up their hand to compare hand sizes. Like, oh, your hand's so big.

My hand's so small and so petite, blah, blah, blah. I feel like that's such an old one. But if you see that happening, you're like, yeah, it's going to go down. Unless her hand is bigger than yours. Then it's awkward. First of all, go badgers. Love you. Um, it's funny because I actually have the perfect small hand.

Like, my hand is so small and nubby. But I always have clammy hands, especially in social situations. So that's definitely not my go-to to be like, you're going to put your hand in my little wet hand. Yeah. But that's going to be an issue, though, eventually anyway. So you must well get that out of the way. Your hand's always clammy.

Yeah, but if I have options of my first kind of... You're going to go for the kneecap, not for the hand. Yeah. It is funny that you think of the bachelor, a bachelorette. They do this corny thing. where all these like gorgeous people walk out of the car and then approach the guy and have to say something and have like an open line or something and it's never smooth like you can never make it smooth and I think at the end of the day it's like if you're hot it goes okay and if he's

not into you it doesn't go well like at the end of the day be you no stuff you're going to say is going to make a break also I think that this is very much a woman to a man I think it's weird if a man says oh my god you have small hands can i see it's got to be the woman being like oh my god your hands are so big yeah it's got to be that way um also i do find if you we if you like a tall man don't go up to him and tell him he's tall he hears it all the time he's sick of it you're tall like just be more creative i i think it's actually fine i think i think if you're looking for just like a standard opener like I said

women literally just need to let it be known that they're there so like as a tall man you don't care when girls like if in my single days if a woman that I was attracted to came up and said oh my god you're so tall

I would be like awesome ice broken literally don't listen to my advice don't listen to it the whole thing is that for men for men it's just like anything

to break the ice anything It's just so easy Or actually this is so funny I'm just thinking of random stuff to do Go up to a guy and call him a random name Well that's nagging No it's not be like

What's up Jacob Oh call him a right Yeah and you'll be like That's not my name and I'm like Oh my God I'm so embarrassed I thought you were this guy named Jacob Great Icebreaker Because it's like it's funny

And then you joke be like Just kidding I was calling everyone Jacob tonight Yeah move on Yeah then ice is broken Here's a DM slide DM slide advice if you're sliding into someone's DMs for the first time I don't know if that's considered flirting I guess it is

but you can just write God sent me here and just let it work its magic never had it fail so good luck love you both bye wait that's amazing God sent me here that is hilarious it's funny if he doesn't respond it's even funnier it's funny you're not responding to God you don't believe in God that is so good

I'm a big fan of that. You know, I thought that that was funny, smart, you know? I love it. Good DM sliding. I'm running it down. That's so good. What are you running it down for? Because I want to tell it to the gigglers, too.

Okay. Hi, Hannah. Hi, hi, Des. My favorite flirting trick is to smack my business card down in front of a guy that I think is hot or whatever at the bar. And just walk away. Walk up. Slam the business card down. Walk away.

My cell phone number's on there. so it's like you can call you can text but that's it it keeps it mysterious and i feel like they always want to know more works every time talk about letting go and letting god yeah i mean i like that though but again that's where i get worried if i give my business card out to 20 guys that night and then i get a text yeah which guy but i guess it's definitely a guy you're into you got to be discerning yeah you can't be slapping it down in front of people you don't want calling you or but yeah i'm like okay which one are you can you send me a photo no problem that's that's flirting that's next level flirting. Send me a photo. Which guy were you? Yeah. You know, I think, I think it's,

it's a nice little icebreaker moment there. This one is, this is another little practical tip. Hey Hannah, he does. Okay, about two quick pieces of flirting of ice. The first, I would say, if you approach someone in a non-creepy way and basically just say, hey, you know, you look so familiar to me. I don't know if we've met before or maybe I've seen you around the neighborhood. you look so familiar to me or there's something so familiar about you. You make it more personal. I think it's better. And it has to be genuine. So I would say have a genuine attraction to this person or interest in them before trying this. The second, I would say compliment them. I feel like you can't go wrong with a compliment. And you compare that with the you look familiar

or do it separately or just, yeah, just choose one or the other. So the compliment, Again, I think if you make it a bit more personal, it's better. So instead of saying, I like your shirt, you can say that shirt looks nice on you. All right. Don't say I never taught you anything. Bye, guys. Love you. Very specific.

I'm obsessed with I don't say we never taught you anything. I love that. You look familiar because it's funny. You can be like, are you my cousin? Yeah. And then he'll be like, well, I hope I'm not. And then you're like, in Ireland, there's a good chance. You might not even know it.

But odds on. odds on you're going to be like fifth cousins max yeah yeah uh but you know good practical advice and a compliment you see i'm a fan i believe that there's there's too much emphasis on the neg and not enough emphasis on you know you're connecting compliment let's go the thing with the neg and i could talk about it for hours is that you can only be like kind of mean a when it's funny and when it's like going well like you can't just go in with bad energy and continue bad energy but i'm a fan I'm a fan of this This is another good icebreaker

I mean at the end of the day It's kind of like 50% of this flirting thing Is really more about ice breakers Which I guess is flirting But there's been some good ice breakers here Yeah You know? Yeah

I mean at the end of the day Like flirting is I guess it's pretty broad A topic Now here's one for the shy gals Oh Okay I'm not sure my first one came through

Love the podcast Have been a giggler have been a burner phone love you Hannah love you does so excited for the special um so i'm one of those girls that absolutely sucks at flirting i make like weird awkward jokes i make dad jokes or i just go silent and have no idea what to say um so my best advice is find that girlfriend and have her be her your coach my one of my best friends is an absolute like amazing flirter and so whenever I'm on the apps I'm sending her screenshots she's telling me what to say she's you know she's helped me so much and I mean we get it done when she's around

I get that phone number I get that date and she's a badass so find that girlfriend and have her help you I mean the beginning stages this is hilarious because when you're with a group of girls sometimes that dude will be talking to everyone but you like he's dating all your friends in that moment well it's crazy how much women are like screenshoting and sending shit around but i feel like women are doing that a lot more than guys for sure because a guy unfortunately guys are doing it when a woman sends a fucking nude but guys aren't like what do i say to this and she says like hey yeah where girls will be like let me think on this

and they'll have like a whole meeting and then you got votes and then oh my god But, like, I loved being involved in the creative process of that. But ultimately, it's like, what, if he's into you, you could literally say the stupidest, weirdest dumb shit. Is there like a business? Are there, like, people that help you with your, your messaging game? Is that like a thing? I mean, it could be. I know that's like Jared.

It's hard. It's just hard. It's like whole jam. But it's just so personalized that it can't be like, I mean, people are using AI now, chat, GBT. Yeah. Yeah, your chat, Cheapy Ting, your online, your game on Tinder or on Hinge, Bumble. I had a tweet that I said once where it's like, I like when I finally decide to like show my personality a little and post something like, I mean, it's say something kind of funny and out there. And you see in his response if he thinks you're like a witty genius or he's like, a whack job.

A whack job. I mean, that's like our first date when you made the comment about your parents being dead. that's right that could have gone either way could have gone either way yeah but you take that risk well at the end of the day you got to take the risk you know I only have about 40 years left some would say 20 you know I don't have time to waste no I'm kidding but uh guys can take risks

and it you know it can be very off-putting very quickly so it's it's actually a lot safer for a woman to take a risk so if a woman wants to escalate the situation it's good for them to just throw down something that makes the guy know we're moving this to the next level. Yeah, yeah. You know?

But it also, it is nice to have like give and take to not feel like you've been like pursuing this man the whole night. No, no, I don't mean it like that. I was thinking more in terms of the text game because this was kind of like related to the texting.

Oh, yeah. Like a woman can always, you know, get it going to where she wants it going quicker if she wants to. You know, because I think sometimes guys always want it to go quicker. So guys forget. Guys, I would argue you need patience.

For women, I would argue you need to know what you want and get it down on paper ASAP. The problem is in your 20s, especially mid-20s. It's this weird time where girls are like, a lot of them are wanting to meet a guy to date and guys are trying to find a girl to hook up with. Yes. And maybe date. So you're both, you're literally two people with two different goals.

Yeah. Because no guy is like, I want a girlfriend. I feel like. some of them are but it's a lot of like our first goals are completely different so she's doing stuff to think long term he's doing stuff short term and it's fucking difficult it is difficult and i have to say you know um you women definitely have to know what they want out of a situation and what they're comfortable with because guys suck in that department but also as a woman you don't want to put all your eggs in this basket and be like i want to date this guy when you haven't even

And, you don't even know if his dick's good or not. So you're in this debacle. Let's face it. A lot of it's more than just that. It's that you don't want to get fucked over by this guy. Let's call a spade a spade on that one. Guys suck, you know? So a lot of time it's not just, oh, are they good in bed?

It's more just like, is he going to fucking, you know, pretend that he cares and then fucking disappear. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah, but I'm saying you can't just not hook up with guys because you want to date them. and that playing that game doesn't work either no no but you definitely need to know what you're comfortable with i mean i do i do think uh that it's it's better to be 100% comfortable with whatever escalation happens than thinking oh i'm not sure but i'll do this just in case you know

he's getting you know he's getting itchy feet oh yeah oh my god yeah don't hook up with him yeah for any reasons but also don't not hook up with him because you think you're going to like trick them into something right now then they again we're past the flirting game right we're into the more complicated dynamics of relationships and hooking up and we don't want to be hypocritical i'll add some more at the end there's a lot of tips a lot of tips this has been very insightful very insightful very insightful you should go to the i mean it's it feels like going back in time to the single days should we go to the club and just flirt i mean i i i wish i you know i'm not i'm not really that useful in the club.

The club is not the place for me right now because I can't put weight on my left side and I can't turn to the right. I'll only be able to flirt with people on the left-hand side. I literally can't. Do you know how hard it is to flirt with somebody when you have to turn around like your whole body to talk to them? Your C-24 and C-24. No, my C-4 or my C-5.

Your C-4 and C-5 are hurting. You go to flirt with people about your C-4. Yeah, I have an impingement. If a girl went up to you and was like, is your C4 hurting? Well, if she did and she said, I'm actually an orthopedic surgeon, I'd be like, hold on, I needed to get a divorce lawyer. I'm kidding, of course. We're kidding here.

We're kidding about a hypothetical flirtation trip to the club. Well, we got freaky this episode. No, I mean, I love dancing. I would love to go to the club, but unfortunately I can't dance at the moment, you know? And so we know going to the club. We're not going to Zee Club. Thank you guys for calling in, Burner Phone.

This was so much fun. We love you so much. Summer episode. Oh, by the way, I'm in Raleigh, North Carolina next weekend. Next Thursday. Sorry, next Thursday. Oh, wow. And then I'm in Stanford, Connecticut on the 29th,

but that will absolutely sell out. There's only 38 tickets up. So Stanford's a guaranteed sell out. If you want to go, you've got to buy tickets in the next three days, I would say. Raleigh, North Carolina. a big venue, I'd say we're going to be okay on the tickets. And then most importantly, as I always say, Rochester, New York, I need people to call their cousins in the upstate New York area

and tell them to go to Rochester. Let's go. And Giggly Squad, we announced D.C., San Francisco. I think those might be sold out already. Atlantic City, Seattle, maybe some more. Check it out. Oh, yeah. And, you know, I really want to sell out Vancouver quick.

So my Vancouver show is ages away. It's in December. But I'd like to sell that out quick because, I told my agent that we would sell well in Vancouver and I don't want to be, I don't want to be wrong. Oh, and Toronto is actually sold out already. Oh, my God, congrats. Well, thanks for calling in. Talk to you later.

Thanks, guys.