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Berner Phone #48: When Bad Things Are Good

July 8, 20240 comments♥ 0
00:00Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop.Thanks for calling the burner phone.If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast.Hi, little dialers. You know who it is. It's your girl, H.B.N.Des. Sultry. I was distracted by your sultry voice.We're both a bit hoarse, actually.We're horrors from literally just having friends.Yeah, we're entertaining all weekend out in West Hampton.
00:33We never have friends.And this weekend we had friends.Sorry, we always have friends.We never have friends out.We never go out with our friends.Yes, we had a big Fourth of July, big Fourth of July weekend.We had the Strecker's over.I just did tell Strecker's pod.
00:50Look out for that.We had Hallie and Dave are day ones.We threw in Jared Fried.Jeffrey, who, by the way, is still out in West.because this is a long weekend, right?Jared Fried has a show tonight,which you're doing.This won't be out in time, so it won't matter.
01:06Yeah, I'm surprising the audience and I'm opening for Jerry.Practicing for your tonight show set.So you guys, no pressure, no big deal,but this is the biggest week of my life.Yeah, yeah, yeah.If you're a burning in hell listener,it's all come down to this, really.If I've ever made you laugh or giggle
01:22or made you feel better in a dark time,I really just need one thing for me.This is the night that either makes,me off or does me quite, Iago, Othello.Big moment here in your life.Is that from Hamlet?Shakespearean. No, it's from Othello.Oh, that.
01:40Anyway, everyone's confused.So now I ask of y'all, of youth, of yow.I was trying to speak Shakespeare.I think, well, I guess ask of ye.I ask of ye.Just watch my special all the way through.Put it on repeat all day.go to your mom's dad's grandpa's friend of me's ex-boyfriends boyfriend's house put it on hide their remote
02:03I don't know if there's an automatic replay there's not an automatic replay but just let everyone you know to watch the special comes out on Tuesdayand then tell you tell your parents your grandparents your uncles aunts even if they're not into comedy if they're like cleaning the house or they're doing something just put it on and let it play so basically tell everyone you know to watch it and then we're Gucci we're good just watch and leave it on the most important thing is leave itLife goes on as normal.Let Hannah have the greatest retention rate in the history of Netflix specials.And it's fun talking to you guys on this because a lot of you, some are new listeners,but then some have literally been listening to me for seven years.So we've been through a lot together.We've grown together.
02:45I fucking love you guys more than anything.Is Bernie in Hell seven years old?It started in like 2018.Wow.2017 maybe.So it's been a long, not to age myself, it's been a long time.but I have been doing a lot of press for this Netflix special that's going to come outand I've been getting a lot of questions of like my life and how I got here
03:08and it got me thinking just about all these failures in my life and how without thesefailures there's no way I would even care to have a Netflix special.Yes.Like it took real, I always say like don't be jealous of any accomplishment from anyonebecause the only reason I wanted this Netflix special special was from likedeep hurt and pain like it's almost like you shouldn't want something this crazy because itmeans something some crazy shit happened to you but regardless I think this was a little more positivespiritual rather than what you were saying there yes well it's I started thinking negatively like that
03:47but then I started thinking of all these failures that happened to me that led me to this pointand I wanted to know from the little dialers what's something that went wrong in your life thatNow looking back, you're happy it didn't work out.Yes.And there's like a meme that goes around that's like, what are you so happy, thankful thatthings didn't go the way you thought you wanted them to go?And I think that's like the most beautiful part of life that we miss a lot.It's always like, did I win?
04:13Did I do this right?And it's like, what if we are just leaves floating in there?And I think that we are.I think that the great thing about this is everyone talks about, everyone sendsin their thing where they're like, oh, thisthing I thought was bad and then thank God it happenedbecause this other good thing happened, which is trueif that didn't happen, this didn't happen, but also
04:34life is totally random.Like anything can happen.Yeah, yeah. So there's two sides tothis really. I like the concept is of there's somethingyou think that you wanted or you think you needwhen in reality life isgoing to happen regardless and we'regoing to flow and life is just about
04:50now what happens to you but how you react to it.So what that said,let's go. And just to say thatI was 14 I got kicked out of school and the stress of that I thought it was the worst thing everbut I can't imagine my life not being living in Ireland. It literally shaped everything you are today.So you just never know. You don't have one? Where do I even begin? But I mean it all stemmed fromthe original like I thought I wanted to be a tennis player and it didn't work out and I thinkthere was a lot of moments when I was like why did I play tennis for 12 years and nothing has come
05:23of it. Like there was literally a moment where I'm like this was a waste of my time. And I was like,the blood, sweat, and tears was a fucking waste.I'm an intern trying to sell t-shirts and do cold calling sales after putting myeverything into this dream and I'm left with nothing.And I couldn't have been more wrong.And also there's this concept of like listening to your gut that when you listen to your gut,sometimes you might feel like a failure or whatever, but it's okay to go towards just what makes you happy.But I do have to say that there's definitely like a positivity bias with listening to your gut.
05:56gut because people always point out the times they're like my gut told me to do this and I wasright they never point out the times their gut was wrong you never hear people like I listened tomy gut and it was the biggest mistake I haven't made in my life she's so right nobody knowslistening to your gut is literally just because you get there's so many voices in your head how do youknow what's your gut versus your anxiety versus like well that's the whole thing about the gutthe gut what do we really is listening to we listen to our gut I mean Taylor tomlinsonone of her like first jokes in her Netflix special her first Netflix special is likeLike, that's the thing with your 20s, you don't have a gut to follow.
06:33When you're older, you start getting a little bit of a gut to listen to you.Or you get older and you go, my gut was fucking stupid.What was I doing?Listen to my gut.It's very hard to decide.But I think it's more like you know when you're uncomfortable.But the problem is in life you get told a lot, you know, become comfortable with the uncomfortable.When it's hard, push through other people.
06:55Yes.So it's hard to decide.is it hard because it's not right for me or is it hard because it's just a challenge and we don'thave the answer this is one of our deeper topics man this is one of our deeper topics we don't havethe answer you know so let's let's Jared's walking in shout out jtrain javry walking through heknew we were recording and you know he's been a great guest all weekend until right now whatwhat do you want on the podcast Jared you have to sit down next to me because we have to get the audioWe've only got two mics.
07:28Jared has been cleaning up.He's holding a lot of garbage from the deck.I'm a bad cleaner, but I'm a good hand sweeper.Like, I can go through.And I tell you guys the same thing I told the comedy works in Denver.You need a garbage can.We do.We do.
07:45You need an outdoor garbage can.Look at, I'm like, I want to do my part.And I'm down there whispering to myself as I'm cleaning up.Put it on TripAdvisor and leave us a little.alone.Tenniscans,tennis ball cans.
08:00I'm like,how do you nothave an outdoorgarbage?We need a garbage.Actually,you're so rightand I put a box
08:07down there the other day,but then I justthrew out the full box.As a temporarygarbage, becauseI, you're right.We're not adults.We don't know what we're doing.
08:15Can you guys just giveto the Patreonor whatever they have set upbecause they need a garbage can?They're living in squalor here.Watch my Netflix specialso we could get a garbage can.Watch the Netflix special
08:25and play it.to the end so that they can get a garbagecan. That is my wish to themas a visitor. Jared, since you'rehere, on the topic of the podcast before we goit's a deep question. Very quickly, justyou. Just you. Because I know I told youearlier what the topic was. What is one
08:40thing you thought was bad that happened in your life thatturned out to lead to something good?Or was turned out to be good? I knowit's a tough question you're on the spot. Jared Fried.I love how deep. This gets... I'm holdingtrash in my hands. No.They're like, what in your soul is something thatthought was regretful.
08:58He looks like a human garbage.He's also got like plastic cups with remnantsof beer in it. He's holding itagainst his chin. I amhugging trash. I'd say one of your regretswas deciding to clean up garbagetoday. Well, that was one definitely a regret.I will say, I thought it was bad
09:14to not have a garbage canat thecomedy condo and DenverComedy Works. And now I learnedI could impart to you in a nice waythat you need agarbage can for outside.Jared, what was your first dream that died?
09:31First dream that died?Yeah. Having abs.Jared Freed, everybody.Jared Freed. Also has a Netflixspecial that's been out for a number of months.Nothing wrong with going back and watch.Yeah, Jared's literally heregetting on our podcast trying to get on that algorithm.
09:48Jared Reed going to get ready for a sold-out showin the West Hampton Beach Performing Arts Center.That was Jared Fried.Joining us live from our West Hamptonstudio. Now, backto the topic. He's right, though.He is right. Oh, 100% he's right. He just calledus out in front of everyone. Anyway, we
10:03apologize to the listeners. We do sometimesget complaints that wetalk too much and we don't have enoughdialers. So we apologizethat for 10minutes. I feel like that was just a live dialer.He was a dialer. Basically, that's athat's a dialer. That typical
10:19male comedian didn't want to getemotional. No. Hid behind a joke.Yep. All right, let's go. Let's go.Let's begin straight up with, like, the vindictive.Oh, yeah.Hi, Hannah and Des.So I went to a really small college for two years.I had a full-ride scholarship.
10:36In the first year, I met some female friends that I thought were great.And then second year of school, they turned out to be, like, my biggest bullies.They spread so many rumors about me and made my life so miserable to the point where I had to drop out of school, give up my scholarship.And it was, like, devastating.I thought that I was a failure and would never succeed in life.then I ended up working at a summer camp where I met this guy who told me that I was reallypretty and told me like he could see me as a model and so then I ended up actually submittingto modeling agencies and now I am signed to one of the top agencies in the world I'm a full-time
11:11model and those mean bitches from college have to see my face every time they walk into aSephora so I'm on cloud nine now and I feel so good and just so grateful for those girlsfor bullying me because I would neverhave the career that I have now. Soyay. That's fucking great.It's great. No, it's not exactlyI guess the vibe we were going for, but when I listened to itI was like, yeah, bitch. No, but it is
11:34kind of the vibe and it remindedme like sometimes the reason bad thingshappen to you is the samereason good things will happen to you. Like, let'sbe honest, she's clearly pretty and the girlshated her and her life was miserableand she just kept being herselfand putting herself out there and the
11:50same thing that made them hate her is the reasonshe became a modelit's kind of likeI mean I'm dying to go to Sephora nowI have to say she probably has no poresnot a pore in her facethere's a Instagram I loveof this little girl I might have referenced this before
12:06but she's like trying to kick a soccer balland she just whiffs it and it's likeclearly she sucks at soccer and then to goto the back of the line of the kidskicking the ball she does back flipsand it's like you're notbad you're just doing the wrongthing and I definitely
12:22see that with friends you know when you justam like you're like am I not funnyam I lameam I awkward and it's likeno you're just with the wrong people and you'reseeing yourself through their lenscan I just say that in mylife I always wanted
12:38to be able to do a backflipand I that's what you took from thisI could never even do like a fullfront flip off a diving boardso thank you forI'm triggeredI do think doing a backflip is so much cooler thankicking a
12:52soccer ball. I love, I love that we're just like ignoring what each other's talking about.Bullying situations are fascinating to me because...Listen, I'm in Ireland because of a bullish situation. No one gets bullied when you don't have somethingother people want. I mean, I...Period. I'm in Ireland because the other part of that Irish story that I said at the beginningwas that, you know, I was getting bullied, which is partly why I was struggling in school. So, and,you know, I think the guy was into my girlfriend at the time, so you're absolutely right. But thenit's like I got bullied because when I was playing basketball um I was a ball hog and like I should
13:29have gotten bullied they were just like past the ball but was that actually were you getting bullied or were youwell getting hazed basically I was the new girl at the school and there was like a girl who was the staron the basketball team and I have my dad who's like you know putting you know wants me to be the bestso I have a lot pressure on myself to make my dad love me so I come in and you know I'm starting to makebaskets and I'm shooting and all her friends like got together and basically started chancingball hog whenever I had the ball and at the end of the day that's why I don't do team sportsyeah and I mean you know this is this is this is complicated right because you know nobody lovesa ball hog and honestly I probably was being a ball hog and that's why I was better at tennis
14:09also in small hands I probably wasn't even shooting it in I love that we're ready and hitting thisso early in the pod but something bad bad things happen like for a reasonIt's not always just evil.Yes, but I do want to say that it's very satisfying the vengeance side of it.Yes.But it is also not always the best motivation in that that will always leave you cold in the end.They say revenge is a best serve cold.However, the actual satisfaction from vengeance is very temporary.
14:41But you know what the satisfaction is?The satisfaction I find is you get motivated to do something to prove people wrong.and then if you actually like get invested and fall in love with the thing you're doingyou forget why you were mad in the first place and you forget why you even started itbecause then it's just about you doing your thing and I think that's what they should meanby served cold like you literally forgot what you were pissed about okay so I have a questionyeah do you think as a Sicilian that no do you think that part of this is this growthor is this just unnecessary to actually be in this situation
15:17She's a model now, right?Do you actually find yourself grateful for the way that they treated you?Do you actually almost grow to sort of, despite what they did being bad, to sort of love them because they brought you to this place.I think love is a strong word.For grateful is yet.No, you don't have to forgive.I'm not into giving.Why not forgive?
15:39Why would you not forgive?I think thankful and grateful because.Forgiveness is very powerful, Hannah.Because forgiveness alleviates all the power.that they have over you.I just think it's gratefulnessbecause it's like they saw something she didn't seewhich is that like she didn't fit in
15:54and it's a good thing she didn't fit in with themand like I'm grateful to people in my pastwho have pushed me out of situationsthat I thought I should be in.So you haven't forgiven anybody?No.You sure?I forget certain people who have apologized.
16:11So it's conditional.Well, because if they're, this is a thingI'll forgive and not forget.I'm not going to forgive and then like go back to being friends with people if they didn't even know what they did wrong and are doing it to other people too. I'm not going to put myself into the fucking firing zone again. Yeah. I was curious what you would talk because I don't even know myself. You know, I don't even know the right, you know, the right energy. Forgiveness is a complicated thing. I think I'll forgive someone who did something like accidentally. But not someone who had a fucking plan and executed.a plan of bullyingI don't forgive that personI can have empathyI empathize for sure
16:54and I am grateful for sureforgivenessehnahoverratedbut I do think if you feel like you need to forgiveto help you feel lighterthat's great
17:05but likeit's moreit's not forgivenessit's lack of carewell it's just becausethe anger and the hatred can eat you upso then you're cutting off your noseto spite your face
17:16you don't need forgivenesswhen you have no more anger left and you're just what's the word when it's just likeyou don't care yeah you're free i mean you anyway let's uh i'll just play this because it's hardhi hannah hi does so j giggler i had to say it does i love you so much and hannah i'm so excitedfor your special um something in life that i'm so happy that didn't go my way um is dating my ex-boyfriendfor longer than i should have because we dated in college went into adulthood and he is now aturned like want to be instagram model um like very much is doing like aesthetically pleasingdumps and is like posting modeling photos for like want to be modeling agencies i don't really
18:00know how to describe at other than it's given me like the biggest ick and i definitely had boyfriendblindness and didn't realize how much he loved himself and now i'm scared i'm scared of him and that's alland one thing is that i know if he was doing that in broad daylight i would not beWe're posting that shit, and I would not be letting him clout chase through my followers.So big ass, ick.That's all.I love how she's like, I'm scared, I'm happy.I have so many emotions right now.
18:29This one kind of lacks the second half, which is like how it led to better things.I think she's just happy.She's not with that guy.Yeah, she's not with that guy.I think she's saying like there definitely was a time where she was maybe upset.It didn't work out.Even if you're the one that breaks up with them, you're still like, damn.like am I even when you break up with someone you're like did I create that narrative in my head or like is there more to them that I wasn't seeing so then when they show you aside to them when you don't have any rose color glasses you're like oh I was more than right and I shouldn't have doubted myself it's very hard to not be put off by the Instagram model types I know especially when it's I don't know like it's like not like a natural real modeling yeah when if Instagram would
19:15was down tomorrow they wouldn't be a model anymore it's just weird yeah i i hate the sexism but likeinstagram model girls go off when you're a guy for some reason it doesn't hit the same yeah but thatyeah that's sexism from female to men and it's the same as like men die in their hair andlisten the the the the the double standard that goes against the men it's there's less of them yeahyou know this this is one maybe it's because girls you know beauty ispart of like what society puts on us so we've like we get into you know makeup andinfluencing and modeling we're a man when they do it it's like it's a nick yeah it's definitelyI feel for whatever reason it's like a guy will see like a super hot instant model and be like
20:03whoa yeah that's fucking yeah whereas like a woman sometimes we'll see a super hot guy and justbe like why is this guy doing this I know and we're trying to get to the reasoning of it but sometimesSometimes I think of beautiful girls, like, okay, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to show other women how to be beautiful like me.Buy this dice and hair wrap, try this lip color, even though, like, your lip color is not going to make you look like her, but still that's a thing where hot guys posting, like, who are you posting for?Yeah.Because it's almost like why you don't like guys in porn.You're like, he's a guy in porn.We're girls in porn.
20:37You're like, she's doing her best.She's doing her thing.Go off.But yeah, it's fine.It is funny how the internet, though, will show you sides of people.Like, do you ever meet someone and they don't have an online presence and you're like,I can't accurately judge who this person is until I see how they show themselves online?I mean, I definitely don't think that because I live too long of a life where that wasn't a thing.
20:58But I can understand why, you know, younger people might think that because it's just become so the way that we interact.And some people you'll meet and then online, they're like posting tons of selfies or like going on long rants about politics or something.you're like, oh, I didn't see that for them.And you treat them differently after.Yeah.I don't because I grew up with too many people that have joined the universe of angryrants.And I've just go, oh, there's a lot of that in my generation.
21:29There's just, there's a lot, let's put it this way.There's a lot of people that I grew up with that are angry online.But I've still maintained friendships with them.But they're online.I'm talking more romantic.Oh, right.Okay.Yeah.
21:42Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.You know who you are.All right, let's, uh...By the way, if you're a male Instagram influencer,it's fine what you're doing.I hope it's working out.
21:58And by the way, I do also want to add, you said, who's it for?I think they don't begin posting for these people,but I do think a lot of gay men appreciate that.Oh, the gays are perfect.The gays, no, I'm not talking about them.No, no, but I think a lot of gay men also like the straight guysthat are hot online.I think they appreciate the visual of it.
22:15Yeah, but they also,they don't like gay baiting, though.No, but these guys aren't gay baiting.Yeah.Well, I don't think they are.But also, I support,I'm fine with a male model,like you're legitimately a model.
22:26It's more like these guyswho are just, like,love themselves too much,which is what she said,like think that people just want to see them.And I don't,but again, it is the double standard,which I am acknowledging.
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26:08Greatness Wins, where the demands of sportmeet the science of fit check them out now that's greatness wins.com code burn this is kind of insanethis next one what's up hannah what's up des a big fan of the pod um something that went wrong in mylife that i am so damn happy it didn't go my way now is when i dated someone who was much older than mewho made me go to couples counseling and then later after a few sessions broke upup with me in couples counseling and then ended up dating our couples counselor so definitely seethat I dodged a bullet now but back then it was pretty traumatizing so it was too good not to shareanyways love you guys I can't believe that that is a sitcom yeah but also just like how bad is that
26:57counselor like that's just like a no-no or is she a genius counselor like who should I date withall these people who are not happy in their relationships you or this guy knew she was a counselorand just like started dating some girl so he could bring her to couples counseling so hehe could get with the counselor.Also, I feel like as a couples counselor,you should be, like, in a long-term marriage.I was just going to say,if you're not married
27:20and you're getting couples counseling,it's over.It's like, if you've gotten to that state...I was saying also,I feel like the marriage counselor should be married.I want them to be married.Yeah.I don't want a single girl giving me couples advice,
27:34but also I was going to ask you,is it a red flag to go to couples counselingbefore being married?Well,This is loaded.Yeah.But I think it's weird if it's like within two years of a relationship and you're going to couples counseling.A hundred percent.
27:48Okay.A hundred percent.But just very quickly while it's on my mind, I used to have a joke about because, you know, and officially, you know, you get married in a Catholic church.You're supposed to go to Catholic counseling.Yeah.And the joke is not 100% true because it's not always a priest.But I used to make a joke that like, why would you go to a priest for counseling about marriage?when they've never been in a relationship, you know?
28:13And if they've been in a relationship, it's been a secret.So that can actually only counsel you on how to have an affair.That is really funny.But anyway, I don't want to shame anybody who's gone to couples counseling early onbecause I'm not negative on couples counseling.However, I am.I do, whoa, Hannah.I just think if it's that early on?
28:34No, early.Yes, but no, but I love marriage couples counseling.I'm just saying if it's within the first year, no.Yes.And, yeah, and this is, this is general.We're not speaking about anybody specifically,but I do find it weird when, when people are in,because it's just like,
28:53I just think there's too many people out there.There's too many people on this planetto be trying to figure out while your dopamine is at such a height,you still are like.If you're in the honeymoon phase and you're in counseling?No.No.Just find another tall man.
29:08Just find another tall manSave your moneyBut him dating the counselor is insaneThat's insane because like how did that even happenBut like the you know listenObviously we joke about age gap stuffBut there's real problematic age gap stuff in thisWhere this like older man is like
29:25We need to go to count likeYeah, he's a fucking problemWell she didn't even explain likeWhat good stuff has happened since thenLike if she you knowWell she's just so happy she's fucking out of thatYeahShe's just
29:37And then he goes with the counselorOh, God.That's so bad.Surely that,is there not like an American Medical Association type organization for relationship counseling?There's some HIPAA violation.Yeah, there has to be.Yeah, there has to be.
29:51Okay.He's flirting with her in front of her and you're like,this is why you still want to go to couples counseling?So let's, by the way, I have to tell you that almost all of them were relationships.Yeah.Just so you know.Yeah.So I've done my best to get some variety.
30:08Well, I was in a relationship with tennis.Yeah.No, but there was just a lot of relationship stuff.Hi, Hannah and Des.One thing that I'm really glad did not go my way is I'm so glad that I did not join a sorority.I'm not saying that all sorority girls are like this, but I just think that for me personally,it maybe would have gone the wrong way.It most definitely would have gone to my head.
30:28It would have turned me into a total and complete bitch.Backstory, I was a Girl Scout for like 11, 12 years.I'm very girly, swirly in that way.However, I definitely would have turned into a sorority monster.I would have been president of the sorority, and I would have been such a bitch.So, yeah, thanks.I mean, it's very interesting because I guess if she had not got into a sorority,maybe that would have been like a bad thing.
30:52But I guess she just made the decision.Or maybe she didn't get in one.But I don't get sororities and fraternities.I, you know, I played sports, so that was kind of like my sorority.But it's this insane thing.that basically like you get chosen to be in a clickand then you also have to get chosenand have to pay to be in it
31:17so it's like there's so many levels of hierarchynot in the sorority then once you're in itwho's in charge in the sororityit's like so many levels of social statusto me it's just a very strangesort of gathering of peoplebecause it doesn't have any specific thingthat says I'm into this
31:37Now, I've heard that people defend it and be like, oh, we do charity, but like, it's literally just I want to be cool.It's basically confirming that you're going to have a friend group.But then even within that friend group, it could be horrible.Like, it's not like everyone joins a sorority and has a perfect time.Yeah.I don't know from experience, but there's drama within a lot of sororities.Because in Irish college and Ireland, we had clubs and societies.There was Clubs and Societies Day.
32:07and socks day and you went around and you went to all these like tables but you were like joiningshit that you were interested well that's the thing it actually would be so much better if it wasjust joining like clubs of similar interests where instead it's like they'll joke that like oneof them is like for girls with rich parents and then one of them is for like um you know girls whoare kind I like what's the Greek life part like what's the Greek because this is an area ofAmerican culture that I'm completely ignorant of Greek all I know about the Greek life part is thatit's what it's called yeah but like where does that even come from it oh i have no idea oh right okaygod we need chris we need or jared jared fried was part in a sorority oh yeah jared actually when jared
32:48started his whole thing was a frat boy comic he was a frat boy at penn state yeah so but that's the thingi i feel like a lot of people in sororities don't know there's a definitely a history so your brothers and sisterslike my mom was in a sorority right so she has sisters are like oh you were in that but the thingis her sorority is very different than that same sorority in a different school it's like theschools create the culture like a cool one in one school could be like the nerdy one in another schoollong story short they've been they're getting canceled left and right a lot of them my friend whowas in a frat that frat no longer exists because some kid got injured jumping off of somethingyeah that's what's been happening with the sororities and fraternities and there's been a lot of hazing
33:31scandals and the only reason gen z still go on facebook is for facebook groups i feel like that's like that'slike a modern fraternity.Go on a Facebook group.You don't need a sorority.Well, there is that whole thing called Bama Rush,which is like all the girls rushingfor a sorority is basically like,can I get picked?
33:49Like, am I cool enough?And it's basically like reality TV type dramaof like girlstrying to fit in.It's me and girls shit.But I think it's a positive to not do a sorority.Yeah, but I think some people get,they get scared that if they don't get in one,
34:04they won't have a friend group.Yes.Which is understandable.Depends on the school.Like Wisconsin,the frats and sororitieswere a very small part of the school.Like most people were not in one.
34:14Right, okay.Because I joined the Drama Societyand I still, to this day,some of those friends are my friends for life.That's beautiful.But I did go to University College Corknot really knowing anybody.Most of the people that I knew
34:30went to other colleges.So it is good that you joined something.So I understand the method behind it.But the whole, like...I just would, I would prefer more purpose to the society.I don't understand the choosing people part.Like, how do you choose people?Yeah, I don't like that.
34:43I auditioned.I tried to get in on merit.Yes.And it wasn't like on my person.I was on it.Do I have the skill or not to act?Like, there's one that like, they call like Visa Visa MasterCard.Like there's certain one.
34:54And like one's like just for like hot brunettes.It's, it has that kind of vibe.But I don't really have authority to speak on it, but I spoke a lot about it.This is for you, Hannah.Oh, geez.Hey Hannah, hey Des. So my story is a little crazy. I was born and raised in a conservative religion, and I loved it. I thought it was great and safe. And that's where I met my husband and we went on to have children. And then about a year ago, we found out that one of the leaders had been doing heinous things to women and children. And then come to find out a whole bunch of leaders were doing horrible illegal things.to women and children, and sometimes men, and our world just imploded.And now, about a year and a half later, we have been out of said group, which turns out, it was a cult.
35:47I was an occult my whole entire life.And we've been out for seven months, and it's been great.It's been both the worst and the best things that have ever happened to me to get out.And there's also a documentary on Hulu that you should watch about it called The Two-by-Tos.Anyway, see ya.Bye.Hello, Tyler.Let's start with that.
36:06DM me your number, please.We will have more questions.Well, now we have to watch two-by-toos on Hulu.Well, congratulations on getting out.It's really fucking difficult to,because getting off a cult is not just trying to get out.You first have to realize,you have to get out of a brain rush
36:21that it even is a cult.And then once you realize it's cool.They were happy.Yeah.She's openly honest about the happiness.That's all she knew.That's all she knew.She was born into it.
36:28She never chose to be in it.It was everything that was her world.Holy shit.But I would love to see how, like,being in that cult and getting out the benefits of like her helping other people maybeor her understanding herself or her empathizing like yeah i also feel like thesefucked up stories that are so horrible it's what makes you special it's what makes youinteresting it's what gives you personality like you're when you meet someone and they have
36:59no adversity i'm literally like boring i want to know what shit you've overcameBut it's pretty, I mean, I'm just going on like tone of voice.But this is a harrowing life change.Insane.There's a lightness to this message that is quite surprising.Which is why I have so many more questions, because this is like a lot.This is a lot to process.But it sounds like her family's still together.
37:24I'd like to hope, and maybe this is a naive of me,I'd like to hope that the shock of everything you believed in being taken away is horrific,but that perhaps for her, largely, she didn't have any negative experiences.That's what I'm hoping.Well, it sounds like she heard other people were, and which is very strong of her to be like,even though it hasn't happened to me, I now know that this isn't what I thought it was.And hopefully she was able to have a community that decided together to get out and hopefullythey are like looking out for each other.
37:57But she didn't know.Like that's what's so amazing is.And it's not like people always like, how did they not know?And it's like, first of all, how do you not know that you can't know what it was like for them?I'm a proponent of I 100% would join a cult.Literally.But she didn't join a cult.She was born into one.
38:14I know.And I, and that's not her fault.I'm saying I understand everything because I would be the person that joins a cult because I'm having a difficult time and those people look happy.And I'm really fucking proud of her.Yeah.I mean, I would love to talk to you more.We have.We like to do a live app.
38:31A lot of follow-up questions.I think the dialers have follow-up questions for you, too.But we're going to watch the doc.Yeah.Then we're going to find out who you are in the dock.No, I'm just kidding.But that's pretty awesome.And obviously, I would think something that large in terms of like a negative thing that's
38:47happened that's led to something better.I feel like something that large, you're only at the beginning of finding out how thisis going to be a, how it's going to change your life.Yeah.But again, it's a perspective thing.You could be like, oh, no, like, I don't know how anything works.I've been tricked my whole lifeLife is a farce
39:03Vers being likeOkay that was a lifestyle I hadAnd I'm excited to seeWhat else life providesAnd she's gonna have to be dealing with forgivenessShe's gonna have truthTruth trust issuesMaybe she can give you a tutorial on forgiveness
39:18OkayI already told you I don't do that stuffAll right let'sHere's a lighthearted oneHi JessHi Hannah love the podsSo my answer is not that deepBut when I was 19
39:30I wanted to get a quote from Lord of the Ringsthat was Deep Roots Are Not Reached by Frostand I went to a random tattoo shopand I had a very specific ideaof what I wanted it and how I wanted itthat was totally doablebut the artist that was assigned to mewas really condescending and rude
39:46and just overall like not a nice personand I decided to walk away from itand at the time being 19I was very devastated because I wanted that tattooso bad because it meant so much to meBut now, being 29, I realize that tattoo is kind of a stupid thing to get.Quotes are just kind of a dumb thing to get when you're youngand before your frontal lobe is done cooking.
40:12So I'm really happy I didn't get it because it also saved up a lot of space of my armand I didn't let some random man bully me into getting them.That's it.See you.Great quote, though.Repeat the quote.Deep roots are not reached by frost.Actually, the quote's pretty good.
40:27You know?You don't make any deep.You don't make deep connections.No, this, maybe I'm wrong.I say, you don't make deep connections by being cold.You know, you need to be warm and open.But I could be wrong.I thought she was saying quilt.
40:40Oh, quote from Lord of the Rings.I know, I thought she was saying a quilt from Lord of the Rings.Also, my brother fucking loved Lord.I think he learned how to speak like Elfish or something.My brother was really into that stuff.But yeah, it's so funny how at the time she probably was like,my whole life is, you know, when you're a teenager,I can't get my tattoo and this guy's a little.
40:58asshole and nothing's heartbreaking for me and it's like that wasn't meant for you babe i'm so glad of allthe stupid shit i did when i was young i just wasn't into tattoos so my brothergot really into mama so naturally he wanted like uh i know taekwondo's Korean so like akorean character like he wanted characters on the back of his neck and my mom was like firstof all do we have to do the neck you're 817 and she's like second of all you just started taekwondodon't know if this is a lifelong thing.But I remember my mom had this moment where she was like, she really, when she was talkingto me and she's like, I have to do the right move here or like this could go really bad.
41:39And she decided to say, you know what?Yes, you can totally get a tattoo.Let's wait till your 18th birthday.And by 18, he already was like on to the next hobby.If she had said, no, you cannot get it.I think he would have gotten it.So it's this funny like reverse psychology that she played where she was like, yeah, that's a great idea.Let's just wait until you're 18.
41:58just to like you know be sure so that i remember that parentingtaekwondo move from my mom and i was like that's legit that's right that was a thatwas a eastern martial art energy move yeah like do you just want it because it's forbiddenyes the soft defense she absorbed this energy because it's hard you're trying to figure out whoyou are while doing some like permanent possibly permanent things to you while experimenting with youridentity when you're younger um and then sometimesif he had gotten it and it went wrong,it would have helped him in another way, you know.
42:34He would have learned from it.Now,but if I had to wear a lot of scarves during interviews.I want to point out to our dialersthat did get tattoos that they regret that that's okay too.Yeah, that's what I was saying,but you will kind of figure it,I mean,
42:49some of my friends have the funniest tattoosand it really makes me love them so much.Like what?Give me an example.I mean, it just makes no sense.Like at the like butterflies in weird placesAnd then Becca got kiss lips on her buttWhich I thought was actually a great tattoo
43:06People a lot of celebrities get stuff like spelled wrong in itYesA lot of you know getting your exes and stuffRelationship stuffBut it all is part of your story that makes you youYeah just get if you're gonna get a relationship oneJust put in like my loveDon't put in the name
43:22Because then it can just you can just keep changingWho's in your mindSo you can just keep changing who's in your mindso you guys that listen to the podcast regularly know that hannah and i have a disagreement about thetemperature when we're sleeping hannah runs hot so as a result hannah found bowling branch it's here to helpyou never sleep hot again with sheets that are woven to allow airflow and feel cool and crisp to thetouch perfect for sleepers like hannah who run hot especially perfect in a situation where you're married to somebodywho doesn't run hot, so you have a bit of a temperature discrepancy.
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44:29Boom.Slips right over like a glove.Get your coolest, most comfortable sleep with Bowling Branch.Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at bollumbranche.com slash burn.That's bollumbranch.com slash burn for 50% off and free shipping.Exclusions apply.See site for details.So this is my summer of health.
44:51I'm on the mend.I'm getting back in the game.game and I'm not going to lie. I was late to the party on my gut health. So I was really happyto start taking seed because there are 38 trillion bacteria that live in and on you, especiallyyour gut. And they're essential to your whole body health. Seeds DS01 daily symbioticbenefits your gut, your skin, and your heart health in just two capsules a day. If you paidattention to Hannah's routine about me thinking I'm having a heart attack, I'm worried aboutmy heart health and seed has been great. You know, I just feel better about my digestion. I feel
45:26better about my skin. Now, I'll admit, I'm getting a little bit too much sun this summer,but it's nice to know that I'm taking care of it at the same time. Just so you know, it's superconvenient. You don't need refrigeration for seed. The great thing about taking DS01 is you don'thave to worry about refrigeration and you get a free travel vial from the welcome kit that allowsyou to take DS01 on the go.Just a bit of advice.Probiotics and prebiotics work best when used consistently like other routine healthhabits, like getting in your daily walk, eating your fruit and veg, you have to stay
46:01consistent to see benefits.Seed subscription service easily builds DSO1 into your routine.So, support your gut this summer with Seeds DSO1 daily symbiotic.Go to seed.com forward slash burn and use code 25 burn to get 25.percent off your first month. That's 25% off your first month of Seeds, DSO1, daily symbioticat seed.com slash burn. Code 25 burn. Okay, this is for our Bronx listeners. Hi, Hannah, hidoes. It's still wild to me that you two are married. Like the amount of admin that that takes,that's fire. Newbie Giggler here from the Bronx, and I was just calling in to say that one thing
46:47that didn't go my way back in the day and I'm glad it didn't a sliding door if you willwould be when I was 14 15 I was in love love love love love love with one of the dudes on the blockfinally got attention from him he was talking to me telling me I was cutemurmur mur blah blah blah somehow he ends up being locked up and I feel like maybe I dodged a bulletmaybe a literal onebecause he got locked up for unaliving someonebut you know one door closedopens up another and we're happy
47:28we're in our 30s we made it where we made it out aliveit's fine still in the Bronx thoughyeah but the Bronx is on the way upBronx represent BX babyBX wait that might have been my favorite messageis like is this a performanceoh my God that is so goodalso I love when the native New Yorkers chime in
47:47that's crazy shityou know again you don't have to sayoh you can say murder on the potunaliving is really for the internetoh my godbut I think like so many peoplecould relate to that we're likewe all liked a bad boy
48:03that we like if he had actuallyit had worked out with him you're likeour lives would have been ruinedfor like so many different waysbut from afar you're likeoh that's the dude like all the guysrespect him he's cool and then it's likehe is not for you baby
48:17That's not the man you want raising your childrenOr having a quiet home withBut I even had that with friends when I was a teenagerYeahLike guys from Queens that I thought were coolBecause they were doing the crazy shitLike some of them were likeI didn't know anybody that was like robbing cars
48:29But I definitely knew guys that like got access to robbed carsAnd I remember one time I was going to get in this robbed carAnd my friend was likeYo, you're not getting in that carAnd I was so wanted to beWith those guysYeahHe did stop me that kid
48:44But still I thought those kidsAnd honestly all those kidsI'm not going to name them.Yeah.But all those kids that I thought were cool, they all got in trouble.Yeah.And they did not do well.It's funny because I went to a lot of different high schools.
48:56And when I was in middle school, I was friends with these girls.And then I left to play tennis.And then when I came back to this public school, I knew some of them, like, from middle school.And I was like, you guys are going to be my girls.Like, remember me?Like, we were best.He's in middle school.And they were pretty cool.
49:10And they kind of, like, shrugged me off.And I was like, it was crazy.I felt so like, why I went they?be my friend but it's funny they kind of had gotten into drugs at that point and I was not and therewas a I know there was a part of our school where like the really cool kids were doing like heavy drugsand I realized like if I had but if they were nice to me and I became friends with them like I couldhave been doing drugs with them and a lot of it is like what energy you want to be around andthey probably sense like I wasn't going to be fun anyway around drugs I cry when I smoke weed
49:44Yeah, so you just thank GodThank God you're not coolThank God I'm a loserThank God I'm a prudeYeah man I think about that all the timeIf I got into likeYou know like honestlyYou get lucky or unlucky with crowds that have access to drugs
50:03YeahYou know it's so trueAnd even some peopleBecause I would have taken anything that came my wayAnd luckily I never got in the crowdBecause I took as much as I ever got access tobut luckily I never got into a crowd that had access to the higher level and luckily I stopped when I was young enough that I didn't find that stuff yeah there's also some friend groups that you also again just like didn't feel good around like I remember I would have more fun with this one crew but then there was a crew that was like more popular but whenever I'd sit with them it just it was like boring or like I'd say something and immediately like question what I said was that okay and all those feelings you have for her reason yesOkay. I want to do two more. One fun, well, not fun, but, and then I want to finish with something quite strong. But we'll sign off and then we'll finish with that. Go DJ. All right. This is, there's just a lot of good stories here.
51:01Hi, Hannah. Hi, hi does. Love the pod. Love this prompt. I have a fucking wild one to tell you. Looking back, there was this guy in grad school that I was obsessed with. We were.the best of friends. He would hook up with me when he was broken up with this girl.Long story short, he ended up marrying that girl and I always wished it would have worked outbetween us. But now he's being investigated for $30 million with a fraud, which he tookpeople's money and claimed he was investing it into these accounts, but he put it in his ownaccounts overseas, never invested it. The government can't find the money. It's been an ongoing casefor four years he has so far 64 counts of fraud against him um so glad that's not my husbandslash baby daddy that's about to go to jail and i'm single and happy and things turned out good on my
51:57end now the only thing i'll say is that if she was the wife she might actually be the one thathas the secret account numbers that he's hiding the money in so he's going to do his time but thatmoney is in europe somewhere unfound maybe you know but again pros and commentsDo you want to be with someone who's a criminal, you know?Of course, I'm joking.I'm joking.I don't know.I have $30 million and having a criminal husband, who knows?
52:20Yeah.But I do think he clearly was like two timing people, including her,and he just did that at a larger scale.Like, people show you who they are.You just don't always want to believe them.I'm surprised the amount of dialers that ended up dodging criminals.We've had two in a row here.Or I think a lot of guys are criminals, and if you're single, you end up dating them.
52:40We have a lot more of those, I can tell you.Really?Well, not just criminal, just like a lot of, like, I dodged a bad one with a guy.Yeah.A lot.Yeah.I think more, I've had stuff where, like, in my head, I thought he was, like, the coolest thing because he was, like, the hometown rapper.Yeah.
52:56And then I'm like, it's not that anything bad happened to him, but just literally nothing happened to him.All right.Let me play an extra one since this is a running theme.Growing up as a freshman in high school, I had a major crush on this guy who was the quarterback.he was about six feet tall he dyed his hair bleached blonde like Eminem and I just thought he hadlike so much swag and I thought he was so hot and I used to go to the county fair and like stalk himto like eventually try to hook up with him but basically all we ever did was kiss not even fullmakeout but fast forward the next couple years and he ended up like fucking every single one of my
53:37friends and I was like devastated about it but fast forward to 2024 and he has not left our hometown he'sa bartender at his friend's bar and he is missing like all of his teeth and he has terrible trashytattoos and now I get to laugh at my friends and be like ha ha you fuck that guy ha ha so did youand I didn't so he's a meth head the boy in so many words I do with ussituation where sometimes I feel like I've had like a guy tried to make me jealous before andhook up with my friends and I was really hurt and then you look back and you're like oh becausehe was he was insecure but you didn't realize that he was like intimidated by your shit you justthought that you weren't good enough for him yeah or he's just a fuck boy and and end and he's a
54:28fuck's boy um I also think relationships are hard because when you're with a guy you when you're in ityou want it to work so that's why it's so easy to lie to yourself and be likeHe did that because he loves me or like he's trying or he's going to get better.But then when you get out, you're like, oh, I don't have to lie to myself anymore.All right.So just before I play the last one, we just wrap it up.You know, because the last one is like very powerful.When I heard it, I was very moved.
54:58So I don't want to tarnish it with our sign off.So do you have anything you want to promote before we finish?Well, after this, please check out my Netflix.It's special on Tuesday.And Giggly Squad, we dropped a book.Oh, yes.How to Giggle.It's a guide to taking life less seriously.
55:17We've been working really hard on this for over a year, so it's available for pre-saleright now on Amazon and Barnes & Noble at the Giggly Squad link.And love you guys.And I'll be in Rochester, July 26 and 27th.I have other dates, but this is the one I'm pushing right now.But I'm also in Madison, Wisconsin.Go badgers.In September.
55:36And loads of dates on my.my website check it out including a ton of irish dates which i'm going to be honest they're not all onmy website because i lazily haven't put them all up there yet but but they're all actually on saleuh so if you're in an irish town wondering if i'm going to be there just google my name in your townand if i'm there there will be tickets wait i just thought of one more thing okay before we go toour final thought when i said go badgers because there was a time when i really didn't like mycoach and I wanted to transfer and I missed New York City and I wasn't happy in college and I wasdepressed and I got hit by a car and I was like why did I go here um and then I got invited on
56:16caller daddy and told a story about how I hooked up with the mascot and I'm pretty sure thatwas a big part of my career you think that was your success fucking the mascot telling thisstory on caller daddy and then saying go badgers it's become it's who you are and it doesn't matterthe layers of complications underneath.You just never know.You never know.I mean, I wanted to go to Trinity College Dublin.We had a lot of college ones, actually.
56:43I wanted to go here.I went somewhere else and thank God,because I have friends for life.But I wanted to go to Trinity College Dublinbecause that's where I thought I should go.And in the end I got in,but not for the course I wantedbecause Ireland does it a little differently.
56:56And I had the opportunity to go to Trinityto go to Trinity or to go to Yorkfor the course that I wanted to do.And I went for the course on the advice of the late great McGivney,who only died recently, was like my Irish father.And he said, go for the course, not for the college.And cork made me.I don't know who I'd be as a human without cork and the friends that I have.
57:17I don't even know if I'd be a comedian because it was a cork guy got me into comedy.So again, you just never know if that's just random or whatever,but certainly a negative that turned into a positive.But this is a mental health podcast.You know, Burning in Hell used to be you talking about your demons.and you would talk to some people about some heavy shitand this was a very real one that came inand I you know probably like a trigger warning
57:41is self-harm in thisand I'm just going to leave this with ourare you okay with us just leaving this with listenersyeah because I thought it was very powerfulit's powerful hey bestiesthe thing says we're going deepso I'm going to go deep and hopefully this doesn't requirea trigger warning but in case it does
57:59here it isMy thing that didn't go according to plan, and now looking back I'm grateful, is that I did not die during my suicide attempt.And we're really grateful for that because now I'm graduating therapy and what's better than that.But love you, Hannah and does.I'm coming to Club Giggly in December.Yay.Whatever team Fia is on has a chance to win a championship.I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams.
58:27The WMBA playoffs are here, and I've got the.inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes momentsyou won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to rememberhow it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. So listen to, in case you missed it withChristina Williams and IHart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainmenton IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.