Berner Phone - Berner Phone #49: Bad Drivers

Episode Date: July 14, 2024

Nothing ruins your peaceful drive like a bad driver. Hannah doesn't have a driver's license but don't worry she still has plenty of opinons. This was a cathartic episode for Des who claims he doesn't have road rage.  Get 20% off better hydration at liquidiv.com w/ code BERN 50% off custom haircare at prose.com/BERNER 15% off luggage at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN  Make going to the doctor easy at zocdoc.com/BERNER Get 10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com w/ code BERN  

Thank you. I'm so excited to be partnering with wonderful pistachios. I'm a pistachio girl. Oh, I love pistachios. I like it in ice cream. I like it when I'm watching TV. I like it for breakfast. I like it as a calming activity of repetitive behavior.

You're not just having one pistachio. No. Has anyone had one pistachio in their life? That's insane behavior. I don't think it exists. It's a great oral fixation to distract yourself from your current problems. Anyway, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. Same delicious taste, but with a little less work for you, less cracking, more snacking.

So you don't even have to open them up. Oh, they do it for you? Yeah. Oh, my God. Less crack and more snacking. Wonderful pistachios, no shell flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted, honey roasted, sea salt and vinegar. The Irish will love that. They love the salt and vinegar.

Smoky barbecue, sea salt and pepper, and the newest edition, jalapeno lime. I really love sea salt and vinegar. I'm a big spicy fan. Halipino lime. I love that they have savory, they have salty, they have smoky, they have spicy, all the best. And I also, I love them plain too. I'll just say that. I love a classic also.

So next time you're shopping for snacks and you're craving something crunchy and satisfying, dish the bag of chips, and grab wonderful pistachios, no shells. Your body and your taste buds will thank us. Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast.

What's up, my little dialers? The Netflix special is out. Yeah, it's a tired, Hannah. No, I'm not tired. No, but, come on, it's been a big week. I'm tired, but I'm running on a weird adrenaline. And I'm almost a little uncomfortable because I haven't felt joy like this ever.

Wow. So I don't know what to do with myself. But no, I cannot be more happy with the response from the special, but I do have to say, first I was losing to a man who had a thousand kids. He was number one. I was number two in TV shows. And then I woke up this morning.

I'm losing to the receivers. So in spite of our hard work, the patriarchy is somehow still winning, but we shall still ride at dawn. Yes. If you've watched it, watch it again. We're trying to start a campaign. Yeah.

I don't know how. You know, it's hard to know how many numbers you need to get it to number one. I'm pretty sure it's all my nana just replaying it all day. Between the gigglers and the little dialers and your other fans, TikTok fans, do you have enough internet clout to get it over the line, do you think? To beat the boys. But it almost needs to be one of those kind of campaigns that takes off. Yeah, I'm a little nervous that, like, the original, like, I don't know if my views will get better from here, but, you know, it could be a fun weekend. We'll see.

By the way, already a great success. No, I'm, I cannot. I'm so overwhelmed and overjoyed that, but I also, it was one of those things where I was proud of the special and I was in very, like, I don't, regardless how it ranks or numbers or whatever, I'm proud of what I put out there. And the response from you guys has been fucking unbelievable. I love you so much. I want to kiss all. all your foreheads. So anyway, that was a, so it's been a crazy week here. It's been, it's been a wild week because I haven't shut the fuck up. I've been on 4,000 podcasts, but now I get to do my own podcast with my man's. Also, guys, shout out to Des.

He let me make jokes about him with stories that had a little. They just happened. They had, and the story. It was never a discussion. But it helped my Fallon set. Can we do a correction? Well, you know what happened? I wasn't all to say fuck

and normally I say I'm fucking dying here you need my fucking wallet and then the guy goes don't speak to your daughter like that and people laugh but because I took away the fuck I think it didn't hit as hard the correction is that the guy didn't say

don't talk to your daughter like that the guy said you take your daughter after dinner you got to pay the bill that's what he said yeah that's so much funnier yeah the truth the truth is it's funnier than the joke damn it

because that guy was funny That guy was funny. You know what it is? I just have the worst memory and I forgot. So I just like said the like quickest version of what I remembered him saying. In the actual event, I was lying on the bench and I suddenly felt you feeling around my ass. And I said, what are you doing? And you said, I need your wallet.

I have to pay the bill. And I was like, I fucking have a heart attack. I'm not paying a fucking bill. But anyway, so so that was just a lighthearted correction. And I do have to say there are actual stories. a lot of my friends have told me of their boyfriends or guys telling me, like Andrew Colin once drove himself

to the hospital, which took like 20 minutes because he thought he was choking to death. And I was like, I'm pretty sure if you were choking to death. He wouldn't be able to drive 20 minutes. He had like a tickle in his throat, but he got really in his head about it. Here's what I always say. Do you want to be the idiot who called an ambulance for something

that wasn't that serious? Do you want to be the idiot who didn't and died? For sure. Do you know what I mean? For sure. No, keep calling ambulance is just not once I ordered barata and I'm enjoying my meal. I mean, we still to this day do not agree about what happened, but I do think. It's not subjective. This is an objective incident.

It's not subjective. It's just so you know. The story is I did a virtual with the doctor the next morning. The next morning, I'm not going to get into the details, but I had more evidence of issues with my stomach unrelated to the puking the night before. And my doctor said, no, you have like either. food poisoning or a stomach virus and that's that's why have you ever had a flu and thought you were having a heart attack before i'm in my late 40s now hannah it's it's like you you don't understand

you like when you think you're going to faint when you actually think you're going to faint yes and you're like at a restaurant you are a fainter and you get palpitations yeah you think i could be having a heart attack yeah so you call an ambulance and there are a lot of people who do think they are having a heart attack and it is a panic attack. So it worked out with my story. I do have to say Des like never watches my stand-up. Like obviously we're on the road together a lot, but he doesn't love watching people he loves perform on stage. He gets him kind of nervous. Yeah. So just for the record, I don't not watch Hannah because I don't like watching Hannah. I don't watch Hannah because I find it hard to watch. Same with my brother Aiden. Yeah. And it's more of like a worry thing.

Yes. Yeah. You're like in it with us and you care too much. but what's funny is that we get to Fallon and I haven't I didn't even know if he knew the extent of what this bit was I saw the bit in Ireland and you did a practice run and I remember being like oh my God he's watching and like I was like in my head a little nervous about it and you ended up like laughing and then I was like okay I'm going to lean in and Fallon you're supposed to do five minutes somehow I ended up doing seven minutes 30 seconds but there was you can't the crowd was hot the crowd was hot there was applause breaks you can't tell the crowd to shut up But anyway, thank you for supporting me this week. You're my rock. And all you guys are the fucking motherfucking best. With that said, because we're on a, you know, a high, it reminded us of road rage. We've actually been meaning to do a peave on the road episodes, specifically road peaves.

Yes. So I thought, I knew this week was going to be a busy week. And I knew that people would come in hot with the peaves. So that's what we're doing But before we do Don't forget Rochester The last weekend of July Yes

It's my summer mission To get these Rochester gigs filled Yes get tickets to Deso's show in Rochester Now when Desi said he wanted to do an episode On like most annoying pet peeves of driving Yes So long story short I'm a passenger princess

I people will like apologize to me If they do something weird while driving And I'm like I literally don't know what's going on I'm on my phone and you could literally like flip the car over and I'd be like, you did a better job than I would have. Yeah, but it's okay.

Every episode you start by saying you don't know about the thing. Just so you know, you didn't even know you were doing it again. You literally didn't even realize she's doing it again, everybody. Hannah says she doesn't have an opinion on this. And we will discover that Hannah will have a lot to say.

Just so you know, I don't really care about this topic. No, it's not that I don't care I'm just not coming from a place of experience But I definitely will have very strong opinions Towards the end of the episode Which is called Burnerphone Does do you have any funny or pet peeves

Every peave that I have has been represented Okay, let's get into it So it's like it's It was such a great for me Yeah It was a great haul From the dialers Did you feel like understood

185% of the time Totally understood 50% of the time I felt like somebody was calling me out but oh you know this is my favorite my aunt I'm so glad that you guys ask this I feel very very passionate about this I live by two circles

two circles right when I tell you no one not a soul not a soul knows how to use the circle properly okay let me tell you first of all people are stopping at yield signs when there is no one in the circle. No one's in the circle, ergo, we can go. It's not a stop sign. It's a

freaking yield sign. Maybe you need to go back to driver's ad and learn your road signs because I'm confused when did a stop sign or when did a yield sign become a stop sign. I'm confused about when the government decided to make that change. I wasn't informed. Maybe it did happen and I'm unaware of this, you know? And then they will also stop in the middle of the circle. Like, I'm so sorry, ma'am. Sir. Sorry, internalized misogyny. I'm so sorry, sir.

Why are you stopping in the middle of circle? You want to cause an accident? I mean, she got cut off, which is unfortunate because, like... Des was cracking up hysterically. I'm dying here. No, that was fucking hilarious. When we're not in the studio, you don't hear us laughing along with the thing, because we're not in the studio right now.

So, I was dying. No, Des is very passionate about circles. Is that what they calls? Roundabouts in Ireland. Traffic circles in America. Roundabouts in Ireland. There's a ton of roundabouts in Ireland, right? Not as many in America.

Where did we go? Aruba? Like, every turn was a roundabout. A lot of roundabouts. That was interesting. A lot of traffic circles. It's funny she brought this up because yesterday I decided to ride my bike into town, which was a risk.

And when I say ride into town, like town is a... The town is West Hampton, and we have a lot of traffic circles. But it's very simple. Like, it's not like complicated. It's a very small town. You could ride your bike one minute through it. So I have your voice. in my head and I'm like okay we're not just gonna we're gonna let's go into the circle so I like

went into the circle like I should I was in it so I was like no cars should not be bumping in front of me and then when I was trying to get into it the guy in the circle stopped for me and I'm like this is now dangerous because then we played this whole like no you go no you go no you go no you go no and I was like this is unsafe and I'm trying to play by the rules because my husband is voices like in my head in the circle has it right away in the circle has a right of way and and everything she said well it's it is really dangerous yeah but what i will say is in america that traffic circles are not that common yeah and i feel like yield signs it's very clear in driver's ed what a yield sign is right you you yield to the to the traffic right uh you know

on your left i guess you know so uh in in america so uh you know if you don't have the yield you keep going if you have the yield you yield to traffic but if there's no traffic you go right so yields you should know you love saying yield right now yeah but yields you should know right but so but i can understand some people have a confusion on the traffic circle well sometimes they want to be like defensive drivers because you see a car approaching but it's like you have the right of way and you just have to be confident look at me again i don't know and and they need to know so i think actually i've thought of this before there needs to be a PSA information campaign of about the rules of a traffic circle.

However, what I will say is that there is one person who's an asshole in the traffic circle that is the guy that comes to the yield sign aggressive and gives the impression that, see, so here's my problem in America. Yeah. I don't have the confidence that people know what they're doing in the circle. God forgive me, my European arrogance. Yes. I think some people don't know.

Yeah. So when somebody comes aggressive to the yield, I think. I think this motherfucker doesn't know. They're going to go. So I get nervous. But then they break hard at the yield. Which is so annoying. Yeah.

Now, if I stop in the circle, it's my fault. But at the same time, and I wouldn't. You should be inching. Yield is an inching moment. It's not a fucking screech stop sign. Not that you should ever screech. Anyway, great dial. I would argue, though, maybe it hasn't been, like, talked about so much because people

tend to go around it slow. So even if people do get into a little accident, it's not super unsafe. Wait, can I make this about me for a second? I know somebody that fell asleep at the West Hampton Traffic Circle and drove right over the middle. It wasn't me. Were they hammered? No, just maybe genetically related to me, so prone to sleeping. Did they like ruin like a hydrange bush?

Anyway, it happened. What were you going to say? Just I wanted people to know if they didn't that because I'm from Brooklyn, New York, I didn't have driver's ed. And then when I went to college, I went to Wisconsin, Madison, which is a. town where you walk everywhere and when I had to drive somewhere for practice my teammates had my back and then at 24 my dad made me get my driver's license but I hit the curb at the end of it but I was past because it was already done and then my dad was like why would you pass her she hit the curb yes and but they passed me and I had no confidence and then during COVID I was

supposed to renew it but I didn't know how I just had to click something online I didn't do it lost my license and then failed the test but I tried to get it again so that's where we're at and I'm actually terrified of driving tests. I don't want to, it's literally, like my hands are sweating, just thinking about it. Oh, dear. But maybe I'll get it because Des said I need to. Well, it's just a convenience, you know?

For sure. I think most people in humanity have accepted the convenience of cars. Yeah, for sure. And, like, I know there's people, like, stupider than me who have their driver's license. All right, you ready? Here we go. One of my biggest driving pet peeves

is when there's a line of traffic, whether you know two lanes have to merge or you're getting off of a busy exit and these assholes who don't feel like waiting with the rest of us fly in front of everybody and try to cut off the rest of the traffic i just want to let you know every single person in that line hates you and does not want to let you in also you are adding to the traffic so you're just the problem however when i do it my pet peeve is when nobody will let me in I love that. Oh my God.

Because there's a lot of double standards in driving pet peeves. Yes. Right? When people do it to you, they're the worst person in the world, but you know you do the same thing. Well, that's like us at the airport. You know, when people ask to skip because they're late for their flight, they're late for their flight? Yeah, like, be on time. When you are, you're like, please, like, I'm the one.

You guys are here an hour early. Why don't you don't let me go front. No, it's so funny. I mean, my thing is don't be that asshole. And it's not your fault, but don't be that asshole that's just letting people in. We have to stay strong together. Stay strong together. Yeah.

But I've, again, I've never done this. So what is your opinion on when do you decide to go around everyone? First and foremost, I have to tell you that nobody will ever get in on me. As a New Yorker, yes. I feel like it's my duty to the line to not let you win. I love when someone tries. You go, look at this fucking guy. This guy's like, not a chance, bro.

Not a chance. Nope. Not me, bro. That's literally what I say. I go, not this guy, not me over here, bro. That's not me. Try another motherfucker, not me, bro. Because I feel like it's my job.

It's like my civic duty. Yeah. Like voting. Like you're like, you're like defending the bully. Like I registered to vote when I was 18 and I registered to not let people in because you're an asshole. Yes. Right? You go, don't be an asshole, bro.

So here's my theory on it. I will often do it. But I will also have an out in that. in that if I don't I will never be the guy that drives up on the median and waits for somebody to get me in but I will try to whip around and find a hole

yeah like and in my mind I'm going sucker like yeah so I am trying to whip in at times not always but at times but I will only do that if I know that I have an out not to bring up battle of the sexes but I wonder what percentage of men versus women try to skip.

I mean, insurance companies will tell you that the men are being more aggressive. Yeah. You know, for sure. Because I don't think it's a woman's move. The stereotype is women are bad drivers, women's camp park. But actually, the truth that matter is, because the insurance actually have actuaries that figure out risk assessment. Yeah.

There's more risk with male driving. Testosterone. Yeah. I just don't see a woman being like, fuck these people. I'm going to the front. Like, I don't see it. Well, I think we just had a dialer that just admitted that she doesn't. True, she doesn't.

Again, I don't drive, so I wouldn't. And that would probably be me. But I'll tell you what, I never have the thought, unless I fucked up. So every now and then, I fuck up. Yeah. And I realize that, oh, shit, I need to get out here. Yeah. Then I get annoyed at the person who won't let me in because I actually, I genuinely made a mistake.

I'm not being an asshole. But they don't know that. Yes. I feel like there's been multiple times where you're like, oh, shoot. Like, it's not, you don't do it on purpose a lot. But what I don't fuck with is when people are driving, it's traffic. And then people start driving. outside of the road.

Oh, that's so... That's crazy. Well, that's very dangerous, actually. Or if there's an ambulance and then you see the person driving behind the ambulance. Right behind the ambulance. Yeah, some people are wild.

So, I mean, there's so much going on in terms of the sense of community because here's the thing. Here's the thought of the asshole, right? And I've been the asshole. I'm going to, you know, and she's doing it too. Basically, everyone who complains about this

has also been the ass. Well, largely, right? So here's the reality is, once you're in, you've saved five minutes of your life and you never have to deal with these people so there is this disconnect It's literally like trolls on the internet

Individualism It's down to individualism You know people don't feel a sense of community at times And it's also something that they know That there's no repercussions for And people can't really see who you are And it is also a problem because you are blocking up traffic But I'll never be the guy

So here's my thing I will never be the guy that's blocking up the not the exit lane but the lane to the left of the exit lane but I'm slowing down in that lane because I'm trying to sneak in I'll never be that guy I will only be the guy that's leaking along and if I see an in I'll whip in

otherwise I'll go to the next exit and whip around because I took the risk so I consider it a risk I will never be the guy as I said you don't feel like you deserve it you're not like I'll never be the guy in the media and just being like I'm getting in here I don't care somebody somebody's going to let me in because like eventually these guys are so

aggressive, they'll inch in enough that you go, what's more important? My values of letting this guy in or my fender? Driving is literally like Reddit. Like no one has an identity and everyone's out for themselves. That's right. That's a great analogy. I'm so scared of driving. Yeah. So it's like 4chan. Yeah. It's 4chan. It's 8chan. Yeah. So I mean, I think that's that's pretty well covered that one but it is pretty satisfying when there's like because here's something else that I think some people kind of start lining up too early that's what I kind of feel too but you know it's funny because there is that kind of um identity that's people can't see who you are it's completely different like if you're at like a coffee line and like anyone tries to skip I feel like everyone's like

get to the back well people don't feel like they're cutting in the same way yeah when you're a kid It's like, you can't cut the line. Yeah. And these people are basically cutting the line. Yeah. Except that there's no, there's no line per se. That's kind of the issue. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a great societal conundrum. If you've ever let someone in, does it ever, is there ever a reason, like, the kind of car they're driving? Or like, if you see there's, like, kids in the car, like, have you ever? Nah, I mean, there are times, like, other times where, like, somebody would be like, can I get in? but that's not that that'll never be like in one of those like highway merge situations yeah it'll usually be something like because they have to take a right and they're in the wrong lane yeah you know then they like they give you the wave and you're like yeah sure no problem yeah and then

you feel like mother teresa you guys know i hate drinking water but i need to be hydrated isn't that annoying well then i discovered liquid ivy i'm touring a lot or i'm playing tennis or i'm just scrolling my phone and i cannot be dehydrated for any of these things and that's why I love mixing my liquid IV into my glass of water. Their flavors are amazing from pear, strawberry lemonade, sugar-free white peach, oh, I love that one, sugar-free raspberry melon, lemon, lime. It makes me feel like I'm just drinking a sports drink and I'm not bored with water. The hydration multiplier is perfect for before, during, and after workouts, because they replenish electrolytes. I always carry six around in my purse because when I get offered of water, I literally

just pour the liquid IV in it to make it way more fun and hydrating. It's a number one powdered hydration brand in America with three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink with eight vitamins and nutrients, gluten, dairy, and soy-free, no artificial colors or sweeteners, and their sugar-free options. Turn your ordinary water into extraordinary hydration with liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code burn, B-E-R-N at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code burn, B-E-R-N at liquidiv.com. I love pros. Honestly, a lot of brands say that they're customized or personalized, but when

pros says they're custom, they actually mean it. They're actually my first ever custom shampoo and I've ever used and I was obsessed with it. Like I'm like, how have I just been buying generic shampoo and conditioner? I deserve the best. I need to take it to the next level with my hair. And that's why I love their in-depth consultation that analyzes over 80 factors for a complete view of your life and beauty goals. I'm obsessed. And you guys know I love quizzes about myself. everyone's hair is different so that's why you don't get anything that's pre-mixed it's only one-of-a-kind formulas that equal one in a million results i personally suffer from okay suffers a strong word but i have frizzy hair and sometimes my hair gets really greasy and i notice when i use

different shampoos my hair does react differently so that's why with pros i love my hair feeling not greasy not frizzy and just shiny and healthy try it for yourself and get your healthiest hair in 30 days or your money back. We love that. In a third-party double-blind dermatologist supervised control clinical study, the gold standard and research studies, pros prove that personalization works better than the off-the-shelf alternatives, period. Pros is so confident that you'll love your results that they're offering my listeners and an exclusive trial offer so you can see the difference custom care can make.

Get 50% off your first subscription order at pros.com slash burner. That's P-R-O-S-E-com slash burner for your free consultation of 50% off, your one-of-a-kind formula. Goes.com slash burner. P-R-O-S-E-B-E-R-N-E-R. Let me give you an alternative scenario that's similar but different. Hi, guys. Love you so much for usual. And this prompt was made for me as the queen of road rage, not even self-proclaimed. All of my friends say I'm insane to drive with because I can just be chatting like normal, then literally go off and then return back to the conversation like nothing happened as the true road rangers should be able to do but um my biggest pet peeve is trying to merge

and you know you speed up a little bit the car speeds up you slow down a little bit the car slows down and i just want to be like how am i supposed to merge onto the highway do you see my lane is ending in legitimately 20 feet where am i supposed to go hit the median like it drives me insane when the car will not let you merge into the highway where am i supposed to go as you can tell already getting worked up just discussing this so that would be my biggest road rage beat love you guys the merge blocker i called that one but do you remember you sent me the meme about the the the road rage because she's talking about how like you know you get like you go to like full full belt road rage and then back to a normal conversation do you remember oh yeah like

when you're talking to your girl with road rage and she's like hi baby what the fuck are you doing hi baby i'll be home and like what the fuck yo motherfucker my favorite thing my favorite thing My grandpa, my papa, who's Italian, they're so funny because my nan and Papa, they don't curse. Instead of shit, my nana says sugar, and, like, they literally never curse. So when we're in the car with my papa and he gets upset, he goes, look at this meatball head. And I thought that was the most Italian thing that ever happened. And that's his word for people, meatball heads. That's nice because they don't curse.

Yeah. I mean, I definitely have. I inherited from my mother severe rogue rage up and down. but that person is very annoying because at the end of the day it's like oh so you're worried about me getting in front of you if we're coming in say you're coming on like a highway and you're merging in like they shouldn't even be

if they want to keep a certain speed go in the middle lane yeah it's a time for merging isn't it scary like when you have to merge in or you're like I mean sometimes in the defense of the blocker sometimes it can be like that situation where you go left the person goes left and you get stuck in the back and forth so you're like am I slowing down to let this person in front of me or am I speeding up to make sure I get ahead of them?

So I can understand if you get it. What if there's traffic and you're merging in? Well, so okay, okay. Good question, Hannah. I'm learning how to drive. Hey, Hannah. Hey, Dez. Hannah, congrats on the Netflix special. It was amazing.

I'm also celebrating. I just became the third ever female marine chemist in the country or the world, for that matter. My pet peeve is when I'm trying to merge and the person has major road rage and tries to run me off the road and flips me off and almost hits my car

because I'm just trying to merge like a normal person. Anyways, that's that. Love you guys. Bye. Well, first of all, congratulations. Congratulations. I know she's intelligent because I've got into my head. I've no idea what that job

is. Marine chemist. Oh, I'm sure she's just a chemist in the Marines. Oh, I thought it was like Marine biology oh oh oh oh we don't know we don't know that's how you know that's a good job she's in the marines and she's a chemist okay but i could be wrong well regardless she's a fucking badass yeah so i actually thought that was a little bit more like the question you were asking about traffic so in traffic and emerge was my mother's favorite topic because it used to be a toll booth at the queen's midtown tunnel and every day we're modeling so every day after school we go into the city

and you know my mother would shout at somebody who didn't respect the normal merging, she'd be like, it's a merge asshole, it's a merge. So merging is an issue deep in my soul, right? So in a traffic merge, the assumption, the basic human community assumption is that, you know, each lane gets one, you know, back and forth. Yeah. But there'll always be an asshole that feels like this is still, when you're trying to block an asshole from getting in, right, that's a fine time to be tight and not let them in. But in a normal merge, some people won't let you in, even though it's basically your turn. Yes.

You're assumed turn. Yes. It's kind of like when you're at TSA pre and clear and you're trying, you're like, we've both been waiting and we have to rotate both. But I'll tell you right now, that guy can't make eye contact with you. He's being an asshole and he knows. Yeah. The guy that goes two in a row on a merge and doesn't let you in has never made eye contact

with me once. No. My whole life. Do you honk? Of course I honk. Do I honk? Not only do I honk, I roll down the fucking window and let that guy know

that he has broken a sacred pact of the merge. Do you find it interesting that honking culture is different based on where you are in America? Well, I am a firm believer in not using the horn. Very specific incidents. What are your incidents that you'll use the horn? Well, it's original intent, I think,

which is for real danger. Yeah. Like somebody looking at their phone and not realizing that the don't walk sign has come up or something. It's like, yo, particularly these days. That's common these days. You get a lot of pedestrians.

Because you'll flash your lights. I'm a big, see, I'm a flasher because a flasher is letting people know something. Without noise pollution. Without waking up the whole neighborhood. Yeah, which is honestly so respectful of you. You know? And I've said publicly on Insta stories that honking is basically evidence that you don't know how to control your emotions. Because basically you're dealing with the emotions of the road, which as we can see,

highly subscribed to dialer episode, it's very emotional driving. You're dealing with a lot of people in very dangerous situations because you're driving a dangerous... It's high pressure. It's high pressure, right?

So there's a lot of emotion. But the honking is just honking is just the way for you to be like, and I feel like everyone is like in a defensive mindset. Like no one's trying to be the one that made the mistake. So it's like a lot of blaming going on.

So honking, my, honking is for safety, right? And then if somebody is clearly looking at their phone and the lights gone green, you know, or they're daydreaming, then it's a gent, it's just like a like a bit, like a bit just like get them to look up. Like a dog that like sees someone about like walking in. They do the like, who, like not full bark. They're like, oh. Yes. So it's just kind of like letting people know, right? So I feel like that's a good honk.

Also a good honk is, oh shit, it's Bob. I want Bob to look at me So you honk Right But the problem is that Bob looks And you wave at Bob But the guy in front thinks What the fuck's this earth

He'll do it So it can be a problem But I do think That's very small neighborhood Stuff I think but I think that that is An acceptable use Of the horn

Yeah Also Like People protesting If you support the protest You honk Oh yes Yes

Good use of the horn And anything You know anything funny like if you see something funny if there's a joke in there use it if it's timely i did just remember a road rage incident that was a learning lesson for me in life when i was young i was with my dad who doesn't really have any road rage he's a very like calm driver and i remember we were in like Brooklyn and there was i think it was a stop sign or something but the person in

front of us like wasn't moving and my dad just kind of like went around him on this like single street or double regardless of my dad went around him the guy comes like flying up next to us at the next red light and it's like telling my dad to roll down the window and my dad's with me I'm like nine years old and he rolls down the window and this guy's with a kid in the car

and the guy starts cursing my dad out for like he was like I was waiting for someone across the street like so fucking mad like honestly like a little scary and he was just like dude my dad's age and my dad just like closes the window doesn't respond and just looks at me and goes sometimes people are going through something his wife probably wants to divorce him and then we just kept driving and it was like a beautiful lesson of like a not to take things personally and that everyone has their own issues and like it could have been a really bad like

traumatic thing that I could have seen my dad like getting into it with this guy but instead my dad was like really mature in that moment yeah that's a smart my mother would probably said something like, he's probably short. Anyway, since we're on the subject to honking, this is a problematic honk. My pet peeve that is also related to road rage is when people honk at you for literally no reason. It makes me feel shitty about myself because I thought I was doing a good job driving, which I know I was. And then I feel like somebody's mad at me all day. I'll literally think about this person honking at me.

for the rest of my day. For example, the other day I was turning right on red. I was in a line of traffic. I was the first one. The light turned red and I stopped like you're supposed to before turning. I wasn't even stopped for like half of a second and this person is already honking at me behind me to go. It made me want to sit there the whole entire time and not turn right on red because right on red is optional. And the rule for turning right on red is to treat it like it's a stop sign like you can't just roll through right on red somebody could hit you anyway i think people need to use their horn with caution and maybe feel out the situation before you start prematurely honking premature honking that's like a thing yeah well it's funny too because you can't then explain

to them while why they were wrong so then you feel just like misunderstood but it really is like the internet where when you get honked by someone you i always get freaked out by cars on the road because I'm like, if you looked at everyone walking and then thought all those people are in cars, I'd be like, I'm worried about some of these people. So it's like the person who honked is literally, it could be anyone. It's not always like a smart, calm individual who you respect. But the early honker, the premature honker, is a problem. Okay. Because in that situation, I actually got, I got pulled over once by a cop. It actually didn't get a ticket, but he let me know that, you know, it's a full stop before you turn.

right on red. Yeah. So it is a stop sign. So number one, she's 100% correct there. Yes. But actually, that's not the most

annoying early honker because the premature honk at the right on red in Long Island is pretty common because a lot of New York City people forget that you can take a right on red. But the premature honker that's so annoying is the one that honks

before you literally have had a chance for your brain to register the green light and your fucking right foot to fucking slowly put the foot on the accelerator. It also is dangerous. They could scare you. They're honking before you've had a chance. And then it's like, bro, get the fuck.

Like, I know how to fucking drive, asshole. Yeah. And then you start being, again, like what she said, do I annoy him? Yeah, do I stop? And then you could be in a full road rage incident. Yeah. And that's the problem. It's always better to drive away from a road rage incident, but sometimes it can be hard.

Is that what you told your therapist? No, it can be hard. I mean, you asked me once. You said, have you ever got out of the car? And like, I've got out of the car numerous times. Which is, I'm not proud of it. I'm just telling you that I have gotten out of the car. Four times.

I can remember each one. I'm not going to get into it. Not like you're counting. I've remembered each. I told you the one about the Irish guy and the motorcycle, right? No. Very quick.

Motorcycle guy, he was way in the distance. I pull out. He must have been ripping it. This is on a Dublin City street. So this guy was obviously like ripping it because me pulling out the distance when I saw him to when I pulled out, he must have been going an insane speed.

But it was actually a two-lane road. So even still, if he got to, up on me quick there was actually a there was a right there was another lane on the right in the situation for him to go around he next thing i'm like pulling out he's up behind me you're fucking poor they'll floored me right so real quick so then he stops the fucking bike in front of me he does the stop he gets in front of me and stops to to be annoying to me stops dead so now we're stopped so i got out of the car straight away out of the car he gets off the fucking bike helmet it off and this is it

this is this is full belt 100% a plus road rage incident in here probably violence right helmet off and he goes you fucking put are you fucking deads bishop ah fucking come on leave it

fucking forget it nah huge fan man huge fan fucking leave it and I just I gave him a hug got in the car and we went on our own way that's hysterical that's true though that's a hundred percent that's not an ego story this is a true story no that is the funniest thing Are you fucking Des Bishop?

I know, leave it, man. I'm a big fan, man. Fucking leave it. That's so fucking funny. Oh, my God. We just laughed about it. I thought you were going to tell me you like broke your arm or something. No, no.

That was a get out of the car. That kind of reminds me of yesterday when I jumped on my bike in West Hampton and I was like falling off it trying to like park it. And someone was like, Hannah Burner, don't you have a Netflix special out? Yeah, what are you doing cycling? I was literally sweating, falling off a bike. bicycle on the side of a road and someone was like, are you okay? Showbiz, baby. Showbiz. No, literally the day before, I had to go to Target to, like, shoot some video.

And, you know, New York, you're running around. I, like, I just, like, chugged a white Gatorade. I felt like I was going to have diarrhea. And I had to pee. And I was sweating. My makeup had come off from 8 a.m. in that morning. And I was, like, I had a backpack on. And I was like, if anyone saw me outside of this target right now, they'd be like, do you need help?

can I call your parents? And I love that your Netflix specials are doing well. All right. This is a big one. This came up a lot. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Des. My biggest road rage issue or my biggest pet peeve while driving,

and I do have a lot of road rage issues. But if I'm in a line of cars and we're in traffic and you're riding my ass, what is that accomplishing? You riding my ass is not going to make the car in front of me go any faster, or the car in front of them go any faster. back off. I don't understand this aggression and I think it's very rude. In general, I think most of my pet peeves on the road are inconsiderate people who don't take into account the flow of traffic. This already happened this morning, so I'm a little heated about it still, but that's what

gets my vote for biggest pet peeve while driving. Came up a lot. Honestly, I feel like your relationship with the road is same as your relationship with life. If you're frustrated, you know and you're forcing things like you're going to be that asshole on the road just like not having empathy for people and not being at peace with yourself you'll see this in life people look for someone to blame yeah issues that are much greater yes they don't have a place for you to put your anger yeah so they just need to put it somewhere well that's yeah that's what even my dad was trying to explain was that like he's not actually that mad that we went around him like he's been holding in a lot of stuff and it's like when you you're like when you're

you haven't cried for a while and you stub your toe and then you start sobbing like you like you got hit by a car but I also mean that like traffic is very frustrating you're probably late for something so you're like riding the ass of the person in front of you but you're like they can't go anywhere so it's like what what does this have to do with me what part of this situation are we both not in what I learned in driver's ed not from any experience is that it's so unsafe when you're riding someone's ass because it gives you less time to react 100%. I mean, that's all.

And tell the DWE or whatever, the DVI, who are they? The DMV that I know that and that I should be passed. Actually, let's get all the little dialers to message the DMV and say, hi. Justice for Hannah. Imagine. No, yeah, it's very frustrating. For the record, everybody, Hannah didn't even get to Parallel Park on her second test. She didn't even, she failed before.

You didn't have to tell that. Well, no, because now you're looking for justice for Hanna. I was kidding. They know I'm kidding. You didn't have to expose me on my own podcast like that. Yeah, it's true. Okay, now we're even. You went on national television.

Okay, now we're even. Now we're even. You guys know I travel too much, and I know a little too much about traveling as well. And that's why I'm obsessed with bass. Base was created by actress Shay Mitchell. Shout out Shea. Love you, Girlie.

No, I don't know her, but she seems cool. To make sleek and affordable bags, luggage, and accessories designed to help you travel effortlessly while still looking fashionable. Now, there's a lot of airport anxiety. There's a lot of things that can go wrong. So I love that base has everything you could ever want in a piece of luggage. It has gliding wheels, a cushioned handle, built-in weight indicator, washable bags for dirty clothes, and the pockets on the inside keep you so organized. Now, I do have to say, I have ordered my fair share of really,

really cheap luggage and it breaks immediately and then you're stuck trying to get in a car but the handle fell off or something's like completely stuck and you can't open the luggage i've done it get yourself luggage from base there's 300,000 five-star reviews for a reason right now base is offering our listeners 15% off when you first purchase by visiting b e i s travel.com slash burn go to base travel com for 15% off your first purchase. That's B-E-I-S-Travel.com slash B-E-R-N. Some things in life are a total crapshoot, such as trying to find a new type of milk in your coffee, also deciding if it's too expired or not, rolling the dice on a new workout class, or mixing it up with a new takeout spot and you've a lot pressure, especially if you invited your friend with you to hang out and

you're like, oh my God, this is the worst Thai food I've ever ordered. I'm so sorry, it's not your fault. Being an adult is difficult. There's a lot of decisions, but finding the right doctor shouldn't be a total crapshoot. And with Doc Doc, it's not because you've got more options than you know. It's because it's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click instantly to book an appointment. I've been using Doc Doc for not to brag over a decade now because I don't want to talk on the phone to doctors. I don't want to try a bazillion doctors or just risk it all in one doctor. I want to have a place where you can filter your doctors who take your insurance,

who are located nearby, and who are a good fit for you, and highly rated by verified patients with reviews that you can read. And you see all their actual appointment openings. So if you're like, I need someone Thursday morning, they will show everyone in your area Thursday morning who's available for whatever appointment you need. And they happen fast, typically within 24 to 72 hours of booking. And as someone who does do things late, this is very convenient for me.

So stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc.com slash burner to instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash burner. Zocdoc.com slash burner. So Paige first put me on to Osea, and I was interested because it says it's skincare from the sea. And then I smelled it, and I was like, I feel like I'm at the most expensive salon that I've ever been to. And I instantly just felt so relaxed, so at peace. There on Daria algae body oil smells literally like somewhere in a bottle,

with notes of mango, mandarin, grapefruit, lime, and cypress, and not too sweet. It just smells really, really natural. I'm obsessed with their ocean eyes under-eye serum because I never remember to put under-eye cream, but it has this, like, metal ball that you put on your eyes that's so cooling. It feels so nice. Definitely check out Ocea Malibu.com and get 10% off your first order with our code burn, B-E-R-N at Oceo-Malaboo.com. Their products are rich, but not greasy. They leave my skin silky soft and unbelievably glowing.

I love this brand. It's a woman founded and has made clean, clinically proven seaweed-infused skin care for over 28 years. So get healthy glowing skin for summer with clean vegan skin and body care from Osea, 10% off your first order sitewide with code burn, B-E-R-N at Ocea-Malibu.com. Get free samples with every order, those are my favorite, and free shipping on orders over 60 bucks. Head to O-S-E-A-Malibu.com and use the code burn, B-E-R-N, for 10% off. This one is close to my heart. Okay, I have three. My first one is when you're at a four-way stop or a two-way stop or whatever and you're paying attention and trying to go in the correct order, but somebody's trying to be extra nice. And they wave you through. It just throws everybody off. Everybody gets confused. Everybody who goes out into the intersection. And it just, it just, it's, it. It throws everything off and it sucks and it takes longer.

My second is going through a drive-thru with being behind somebody who has zero self-awareness, has no urgency whatsoever. You know, it's fast food. You're trying to get in, get your shit and get out. But you're stuck behind somebody who just can't get it together. And I had three, but it's 60 seconds. so there's she ran out actually i didn't even know that there was that second one is there anything worse than the on like the person who doesn't make their drive-thru order quickly it's like hello don't go to the drive-thru unless you know the menu that's what i think oh wow yeah no 100%

like we have phones if it's your first time at a pop-eyes don't go to the drive-thru go inside shout out pop-eyes for sponsoring my premier party yeah the the boneless chicken wings i don't even though that was possible, it was incredible. The first time I put in my mouth, I honestly went to heaven. Four-way stop signs can be complicated. I really like that. Because you see that sometimes people are like, go, go, go. It's like, no, it doesn't fucking work that way.

Yeah, like you're actually not being nice. You're not being nice and fucking everything up. You're actually being mean to everyone. Sometimes Minnesota nice is a fucking problem. True. I can't imagine what a four-way stop sign is like in Minnesota. How do Midwest, how do people in the Midwest get through a four-way stop sign? Oh, there's traffic today because nobody in Minnesota wants to go at the four-way stop sign.

It's funny, though, because I really think that every city has its own, like, stereotype. Like, they'll be like, oh, yeah, the worst drivers are in this place in Florida. Like, people will say that to you. A lot of people can't. A lot of people messaged them complaining about driving in Florida. I do also have to say, again, even though I know nothing about this topic, Like America's infrastructure, there's a lot of cities. Like we were in Phoenix where like there's way too many people and the roads are just like too, on OZempec, too thin.

And like when there's traffic, it's like fucking impossible and it's not our fault. No, 100%. But that's why, you know, we need investment infrastructure. But you know, you need... That's why we need to start building on other planets. Hey, listen, we don't get political. But I always felt that right at the beginning of the global,

economic crisis. If Obama had focused on infrastructure rather than Obamacare, even though I'm a fan of Obamacare, but I felt like that was the time to do a massive infrastructure investment project in America, and it was a missed opportunity. I'm not being overly critical of Obama, but that's just one little serious point that I do feel we missed an opportunity there at a time where unemployment, unemployment was raging. We could have actually done like a sort of a second new deal right at that time. But anyway, let's just move back into non-serious. They run for president. Why don't you?

Non-serious subject matter. That just snuck out of me here. This was a big one. Hi, Hannah. Hi, Des. So I know everyone's going to say it, but someone's got to fucking say it. Use your fucking turn signal. If you're merging lanes, if you're turning, fucking use it.

I get it. Okay. Rant done. That came up a lot. It needs to be said. It's crazy how many people do these like lazy things on the road that like they would fail a driver's test and I guess once you pass it like you have your driving ID card for driver's license forever there's so many people that I'm like why would do

not know like even like they'll or they'll do it right before they turn it's like that's not helping anyone yeah oh there's nothing worse or like a situation where you know you're waiting and then somebody's not indicating suddenly they turn so you could have just went or they merge in front of you without a very very dangerous man see I know I know about driving I have a point about this one, which is that I absolutely have felt the way that she has felt, but I've also had thoughts. Mine's maybe more of a parking peeve, but like I hate when you're in a highly dense, like densely trafficked area, whatever. And there's a ton of cars and like people park with a ton of space in between like everyone parallel parks and there's just like so much space in between cars. And it's like, okay, well, if all of you just parked a little closer, we could fit one more car.

And that one more car maybe could have been mine. And my day could be a little bit better if you weren't such an asshole. I 100% agree with her. I've had this thought often. But I have also realized that sometimes the person didn't not park tight. It's just another car left. So it's impossible to have all the same size cars all the time. Cars are different sizes came in.

And then you come to a point where you're like, wait, if we added up all this blank space, I would have, I mean, growing up one recent, sorry, go ahead. I'm just saying growing up in Park Slope, the whole thing was, they called it no park slope because after work, it was just every car just looking for spots. So it felt like sharks all trying to get one minnow. So I had another one recently where I was in the Liddle parking lot out here in West Hampton. Shout out Liddle. Summertime. Great cheese. Not a lot of spots.

So there was a spot. the person on the right hand side was had parked like over the line right so as a result I had to park over the line and I was like this fucking asshole because now you're going to look like an asshole right so then when I came back they were gone and there was a woman pulling in and I was like this bitch is looking at me thinking I'm a fucking asshole but I had to do it because there was an asshole before me that's literally like no pun intended is like when you go in the bathroom and it smells so bad and you do your whatever and then you come out and the person next to you and you want to be like that wasn't me but then you saying

that doesn't mean makes it sound like it was you and it looks like you it's a no win it's it's it's a no win situation so i mean uh let's uh let's let's let's finish with this is and we can place them out we're gonna place them out we're gonna finish with this one because this is like a PSA okay my biggest pet peeve on driving is when you're turning left and the arrow is off so it's not red It's not yellow. It's not green. It's just off. But the light itself is green. And people don't pull into the intersection to turn left once the cars have passed. So they sit there and they wait for the green arrow, which means I have to sit there and wait for the green arrow. And I'm wasting all this time when you could have just pulled in to the fucking intersection and gone once the cars had passed,

which is what you're supposed to do and what you're allowed to do. You wasted everything. but he's fucking time. I love when the little dialers drop F-bombs, but I have a question, and it depends on obviously the situation. Okay. But, like, if she wants you to pull, like, if there's no cars coming from the left

and she wants you to pull up, there's a chance that if enough cars are coming on the right, that you're waiting, a car from the left could be coming, and then you're stuck, right? I don't exactly know the scenario that you're saying. Okay. Sorry, I know, because I... So basically, there was another one about not inching up on the left,

which I had in here, which actually I thought that was the one that I played, but it doesn't matter. So there's just so much going on with the left-hand turn. You just want to inch up so the person could go around you. Well, no, but the bigger issue is, so let me play this, and maybe this will help you understand. Hey, guys, so something people do when they're driving, that just really grinds my gears, is when they're trying to make a left turn, but they don't inch out enough to make the left turn. So, like, they're behind the line. I'm right behind them.

light goes yellow goes red they make their turn but I'm stuck could have made a left if they were just a little braver and took care of it yeah that really bums me out when that happens love you guys so it's this PSA stuff so I'm not exactly sure what you're asking but just for the record because a lot of people don't realize this I'm saying if you inch out too much you have a risk of getting stuck with cars coming on both sides I because you're allowed to when the light goes red you're allowed to take the left that's you're allowed to take the left

I didn't even know that I'm not even I'm not even sure exactly the scenario but for the driver there is a person that doesn't realize that you're allowed to inch up and that is annoying because often more often than not when the traffic comes to a stop two cars can get around

oh I get it so they're saying yeah if you're holding back then when it is time to turn it takes way more time takes too long and that inching up You won't get hit by the car on the left. Like a player hasn't taken enough of a lead so they can't get first, a third, and a single.

And that comes from just like having good feel and nuances of the road. Well, also just knowing. It's not feel, it's knowing. So we're basically done. But for a passenger princess, you've done this to me. Okay.

Hey, Hannah, hey, Dez. One of my biggest driving pet peeves is when the passenger screams, oh no, in the backseat or the passenger seat because it's terrifying. You feel like you're about to hit someone and I always have a full body spasm

when that happens because I obviously don't want to hit something. So it's very much preventable but it's absolutely terrifying and a huge pet peeve. And my dad used to do it to my mother. I'm feeling attacked because I actually feel like most of the time I'm asleep

and I've done that maybe once. I'm not, some people are really bad like every time they're in the car they're making noises. Yeah, because like every now and then they'll do something that like startles you as a driver. Yeah. That's like, can be like counterproductive. What was the specific memory you?

Oh, I don't have a, it doesn't have to be like a personal moment. But it is a thing that people can do. My dad used to do it to my mom a lot too. I'm just saying like I really don't pay attention to the road. Like I don't know where we are at all time. So like I really don't get scared. But just it's very start. I'm not going to name names.

But let's say the only time my parents fight her in the car. car and I'm not pointing fingers the other one that's funny is when the passenger is like watch out for that person and you're like I saw the fucking person I didn't even you fucking say it yes no my parents will get into a full thing my dad would be like when was the last time I got into an accident it's been years and you still don't trust me and then like they get out of the car and it's like nothing happened but like it's a war zone there's a person coming I know there's a fucking person coming or she'll go The problem is that my dad never drove

My dad never had a driver's license So like even if my dad wasn't being that You know like getting overly involved My mother would just be like Shut the fuck up I have to drive you fucking everywhere It's not you this isn't your fight Yeah I would argue that you get mad That I'm not more involved

You want me to be helping with directions And stuff like that And sometimes I just fall asleep Because I'm like a baby The second the car starts moving I'm like Yeah no every now and then If we have a mishap where for some reason

Apple car play hasn't synced up And I need you to do the navigation then we have an issue because ADHD, Hannah. I'm trying to play ludicrous. Hannah keeps having to go back to Spotify because she's looking at him. I'm like, I don't care about where we're going. I want to play ludicrous. And you're like, I need to know if it's his turn.

And I'm like, but ludicrous is so good. All right, let's go. We've got to go. Okay, love you guys so much. Stream we write at Dawn on Netflix right now today. And go get tickets in Rochester at Dez's website, Desbishop. dot net forward slash live and also don't forget to tell people about burner phone oh yes and if you're enjoying burner phone rate subscribe review it it means the world to us we love you guys so much

thanks for calling in bye hi hannah does love the pod i felt like i have to say that because everybody does but my road rage story is that one time i was trying to find parking at the beach and you know you go really slow when you're at the beach because you're trying to find a parking spot because everyone in New Jersey is at the beach at this time. So I'm looking for a parking spot going slow and the sky behind me starts flipping me off and I'm like, okay. So I obviously start to break check him because I'm mad at this middle age man. And then what do I know? He zooms up, pulls up to my right, goes right in front of me. Then he stops at a green light, waits for the light to turn yellow so he could zoom away.

and leave me at the red light. This man was angry. And the whole time he's flipping me off and I'm flipping him off as well. Okay, bye. Whatever team Fia's on has a chance to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams,

host of the podcast in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else.

It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember but how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHeart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.