Berner Phone - Berner Phone #61: Childhood Nostalgia

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

Hannah is back on pod this week and we're feeling nostalgic. Is there really such a thing as a the good ole days? Those who got to go to Blockbuster on Friday nights and burn CDs for their high school girlfriend would say yes.  10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com with code BERN 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 15% off all products at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 20% off and a free cat toy at prettylitter.com/BERN 

Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the Burner Phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Burner Phone. We have a very special guest host for today. Who do we have? I'm back, bitches He thought you could get rid of me

But you couldn't No, actually, just to clarify You're the one that was getting rid of yourself Just to clarify Nobody was trying to get rid of you This is literally like say me I will get like overwhelmed with something And I was really stressed out

And I was like I can't do this anymore And then today I was like What are you doing? And you're like recording burner phone And I was like, can I do it? Also, I just lasered my entire body, so I'm feeling zip, zap, zipped. Ready to go. Yes.

The way you described it, I expected to smell like burning hair when I worked. I do actually smell a little bit like someone just blew out a candle. And there is smoke in the other room. But apparently I'm a good candidate because I have dark follicles and paler skin. So she was like, you're a dream client. And I was like... Why is that? because it's easy to see?

The laser is more effective. Oh. But, yeah, she did my chin, which I've never done before, my mustache. She did front back side. And is it immediate? It's immediate, but it does grow back, and then you shave, and then she does it again. It's basically just, like, slowly killing the follicles. So basically, you laser it enough that they give up hope.

They say, what's the point? I don't, just let me die. But what, yeah, I mean, obviously, we're not going to get into the signs of it, but like, why is it that it eventually kills it? How does it? Because I think the follicle has no strength. And, yeah, they don't have a will to live anymore. Wow. It offsets.

It's like, no, thank you. You're going to fucking blind me every month with this bright laser. Yeah, who knew hair had emotion? Yeah. Oh, now you're making me feel bad. Now I'm going to go vegan. actually does called me and he was like what's i do for bird phone this week and i was like i actually have a good idea and it's nostalgic of course it's nostalgic so what was the idea i forgot

oh hannah come on it's it's what do you think uh like essentially what do you think kids these days are missing out on that you had from your childhood yeah what's something in your child because every and then i'll see something like i was watching like lindsay one of the lindsay lohan movies like for you Friday and I was like this generation doesn't know like what it was like to have like Lindsay Lohan on the up yes and whenever you say this stuff out loud you immediately think of all the grownups growing up who were like you don't know Stevie Nix and you're like okay but like now I get it yeah but Stephen Nix is kind of having like a bit of a revival at the moment not just because we watched the documentary but she did S&L yeah and Ariana Grande was like

obsessed with her and I mean it's pretty crazy that at this age she's doing this. And she's like on TikTok because she actually performed with Taylor Swift in Dublin. And she like referenced an Irish TikTokers catchphrase, Garin Noon. He always finishes by saying, follow me, I'm delicious.

Oh. And she said that at the end of the set. Oh, that's hilarious. Well, she also was going viral on TikTok because she sings a song that she wrote about her ex. And her ex is on stage with her because he plays in the band. So it's her pouring her heart

And the way it was phrased was like when you're singing the song about the guy next to you 10 years after you broke up or something. Yes. Oh, so she went viral. That could never happen with the Swifties. Could you imagine John Mayer walking out with Taylor Swift? He gets stoned. There would be bedlam.

He would get stoned. So let's, we have so many. Yeah, sorry. No, that, no, there's no apologies here. There's like, God, I almost don't know where to start, but I'm going to start with this was kind of cute so like a memory that I have from my childhood

that I really like cherish was just going a blockbuster with my dad and like picking out a movie to rent and we do this like once a week and it was it's like a simple thing but it was like you know like the very little time I had with him and it was a great like bonding experience

that like you don't really get to have anymore like you could just get that so quickly now just go on Netflix or like Disney Plus, you just get a movie really quickly, and that whole experience is now, like, gone, which is kind of sad to me, and I think that's just a lot of social interactions that just don't happen anymore because everything's so easily accessible. So, yeah, I feel like they're kind of missing out on that. God damn, that was wholesome.

You know, and this came up numerous times, but there was something about the emotion in her voice. that was touching because this is like a happy it's a simple thing but it's a happy memory with her dad but it is true it's not as satisfying to go through Netflix as it is

to have gone through Blockbuster I remember how there was this like local video rental place yeah because of course Park Slope they couldn't have a blockbuster we had you know the place where you go to rent videos and on Friday night

I was allowed to have a sleepover with my friends so me and my friends would go with the mom or the dad and we'd pick the movie we were going to watch that night on our sleepover and it was like so fun I remember we'd be like is that too scary or is that too naughty or are we allowed to watch this and it was so much fun but it had me thinking about like yeah Netflix makes it easier

but it also is so much less satisfying and that's just like human behavior I was even thinking like the other day I got like people just sent me like lipstick. And it's like normally if you buy one lipstick, you're like, this is amazing. But if you get 10 lipsticks of different colors, you're just like, I don't know if I like any of them.

And I gave it to my younger cousin, and she also was like, okay, like, cool. But if it was one lipstick, she would have probably been like, oh my God, thank you. This is beautiful. But like, if there's too much, it's like, you don't understand the value. But that's the same thing with, like, dating. Someone on

TikTok was like, do you think dating apps should be abolished? what because because the concept of just constant new people being in your orbit is not healthy is that why yeah it kind of reminds me of Netflix how like for example they said certain movies that popped off back in the day would not have popped off with Netflix because it would have just been like for two weeks people liked it and then they're on to the next one yes and that's how sometimes with dating you meet someone you kind of like but then you also know like I could literally in another second meet someone else who gives me this dopamine hit and the next thing you know you don't appreciate any of the connections you're making because there's so many connections. Yes. I mean, I think that that's definitely something that's going on.

Yeah. I don't know if people realize what it was like when a really hot movie came out. Yeah. Like Return of the Jedi, right? Which I went to see Return of the Jedi in the movie theater, but when it came out of VHS, people don't realize you had to go on a waiting list. Oh, my God. Because there was only so many videos. Yeah. There was only so many VHS. Yeah. It's a Queen's video,

but this is long before Blockbuster, pre-blockbuster. You go to Queens video. And a hot movie, they'd be like, oh, yeah, no, they'd open the book. And they'd be like four weeks later, you would get the opportunity to get. But it makes it so much more. So exciting. Exciting. 100%.

But you could, in your own situations of whether it's your marketing something, you still have to use that, like, find the value in it. But it is sad. Like, things just move too quickly for you to stop. would be like, holy shit, this is amazing. But I will say that some of these things still exist in that the cinema, the movie theater, still exists, but people don't go as much.

No. So the convenience also stops you from doing stuff that still actually exists. But also, we are watching a lot more movies, discovering more movies, more movies can be made. It does remind me, I saw another TikTok about dating where it said, like, in the 50s, people met, you met everyone through,

like church or friends or family. Not work because women weren't working as much. And then by the 90s it was like work was the most popular thing and friends and then now but it was all like kind of close all the percentages and now it's overwhelmingly

like 65% of couples meet online. Really? But then it's like is that great like that people are meeting online? It's just changing. It's just different. Yeah, it's just different. I mean if these people are together

and they're happy, then you can't argue that it's... Yeah, and you don't want to become those people who were like, it was way better back in the day, was it always? Were there any good old days? I mean, it definitely wasn't back. In fact, I jokingly put a picture of... Because I had a memory of when a front car seat was like straight across

and kids could sit in the middle, which I don't think you would have remembered. No. It was gone by them because it's actually not... It's not safe. But there was a seatbelt in the middle. But kids, I remember. sitting in the middle of the front seat. So I just put that picture up

on the thing. You posted it too. And then some guy was like, yeah, things were better back when kids could die in low-impact collisions. I was like, okay, bro, I'm not suggesting me go back to the days of this. It was just a nostalgic picture. So there will always be people that will... There's pros and cons to everything. There's pros and cons.

Well, I was even... Okay, not to go on another rant, but the music industry, someone was like, TikTok has ruined the music industry. Everyone was just trying to get TikToks. And, but back then, there were so many gatekeepers that only so many songs were being made. And now there's, the gatekeepers are different. And then they'll be like, no, the algorithm controls everything now. And it's like, okay, so now the algorithm.

It does. But back then, three major labels controlled everything. So it's like just a different person could think controlling. But you know what? I'm going to throw out something controversial right now. For all the terrible things about that record companies in gatekeeping, I think they had better taste than the algorithm. And maybe that's controversial. No, I like that take

But I have to say Everyone's like Oh, TikTok changed music The radio and TikTok to me Are pretty much the same thing Because I would just listen to the radio The radio would tell me what's popular And then I go on TikTok

And that's my radio And it tells me what songs are in It gives, I think it gives a chance For somebody who would have never had a chance In the old system to break out But I don't think it gives as many people A chance as people think But since we're on the topic of music

Let's go to some music nostalgia Okay, just wanted to add on one more thing to writing notes, CD burning. How many times did you have the thrill of your life making the best CD ever for your best CD? You downloaded the music illegally, probably on LimeWire, you know, got a million viruses in the interim. But you put together a sick playlist and then you wrote with Sharpie on it, Samantha's 12th birthday, party weekend, or maybe an email message. because, you know, your crush, let you down. I don't know, whatever.

I've got a binder with hundreds of burned CDs and that shit never gets old. Kids these days we'll never understand. Did you do that? Okay, so I was obviously loved LimeWire and I download all the stuff and I remember I would put it on my iPod and I did have a CD case, but I was never sad. or maybe I was a little too young, but she sounds younger than me.

Um, I wasn't savvy enough to make my own, but like guys would give me CDs. Yeah, so you would like, you would like getting one. I would get one. And by guys, I mean one guy gave me one once. Yeah. I never made, I mean, I loved gathering up music, but I wasn't big on like making mixtapes for people. Do you know when you'd be like moody in the back seat of the car with your parents and you'd pull out your CD, your flip, CD thing and you'd flip and you'd put it in and then you'd just be singing in the back to your own

stuff. Oh, to your disc man? Yeah, I never did that. Why? Honestly, I never was like moody in the back of the car. I was always just like engaged with talking. Yeah, and arguing. I had Christina Aguilera. I remember vividly putting it on, playing it and being like, come on over. Come on over, baby. And Daniel would be like, please stop, stop singing. It sounds like a whale's dying. You're fucking, and I'd keep going. And he'd be like, Mom, tell her to stop singing. No, I would just make my mother listen to Hot 97.

You know, I'd be like, no, ma, this is good. You're down with OPP. Yeah, you know me. Who's down with OPP? You know, my mother loved Howard Stern. I told you that before, right? Yes. Yeah, so we used to listen to how it's turned in the car.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We had a lot of, like, we listened to Shakira. We had all the now CDs. Now that's what I call music. And we had this big mirror in the brownstone in Park Slope where it was like my music video. So I would just, everyone would, I don't know what they'd be doing,

but I'd be playing music and just staring at myself in this full mirror doing a full music video of me singing and performing. I would do it for hours. Then I'd take my tennis racket and I practiced my swings and I'd hit the chandelier and my mom would get mad. Happy memories. Happy memories. My mom was not happy.

Happy for me. Well, speaking of your mom, here's a memory that your mom will remember that you will, you're definitely not going to remember. We used to have the radio on with like, you know, a blank, like, cassette, whatever, the brands. What were the brands of cassettes? Do you remember? No. God, they're out of my head like.

It's before my time. Wow. God, I can't believe. I do remember cassettes because I remember they'd break and then that little thin, like, ribbon would be everywhere. Maxwell. Maxwell, blank cassettes. so you'd have the cassette in the thing blank and then you would wait for a song

like the first couple of notes you'd hear a song boom you'd press record so then you would have access to that song on demand why does it seem like we were so much more technologically savvy back then where nowadays you're just like okay this TikTok video's not loading no we weren't technologically it was so annoying but you would make these you would you know you would make these tapes with like the crappy little you know yeah my parents

we got a karaoke machine, which, looking back, they must have wanted to blow their brains out. Torch of themselves? Because it only had two songs. It was Superman by one of these bands, and say my name by Destiny's Child.

So I go between those two songs. I know every fucking millisecond. What's Superman? If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman? If I'm alive and where will you still be a hold in my hand? I'm going to buy my side as

My superhuman, my Kryptonite. No, it's kryptonite. It's called kryptonite. My kryptonite. You sound like Ariana Grande's trying to sing badly in the Bachelorette video. I can't get that Bachelorette video.

I can't get it out of my head. Domingo. I can't get that song out of my head. Anyway, that was some happy memories. Okay, I'm going to play this. one because I don't know what this is and you might not know what it is and if it is we'll just move on okay but I'm curious if you know hi Hannah and Des I am a new giggler I have listened to almost every single episode of giggly squad and I'm obsessed love burner phone um but one thing that I think that this generation

is missing out on is Libby Lou and you're from New York you guys are from New York so you know this I'm from Long Island and Roosevelt Field Mall, we had Libby Lou, we got our hair done, we got our makeup done. Every single party that I had when I was younger was at Libby Lou. And it doesn't exist anymore. And I really think that if this generation got off their iPads and sat their asses down into Libby Lou, they would just be so much better off. Thanks, love you guys.

I was just curious if you knew. Now, I know you don't know, but here's the thing. I actually think that sounds genius. In this age of TikTok and makeup tutorials, how has somebody not created? Because it sounds like it's some sort of like fun getting makeup done for like young people, right? Yeah.

Why are they not doing that? Yeah, well, all the... The content that would be created. All the little girls are going to Sephora, which is for adults, and like buying up all the things that they think smell good and it's so expensive. And it's like we need their own thing.

Sephora needs to create like a, like a teenage, age girl, place to have, like, birthday parties. Also, side note. My friend Emily D. Donato is a famous Maybelline and just a famous model, like one of the most beautiful people you've ever seen. She was on Burning in Hell. You could scroll back to that. Very interesting.

She went on TikTok the other day saying just letting you guys know that all your favorite skincare brands use 18-year-old models to show their skincare. And she's like, I was 18 when I did all these campaigns for skincare. And it's like, it's not the fucking moisturizer. I'm

18 years old. Yes. And it's just so funny to think that. But yeah, all these girls... Never underestimate an older woman scorn. No, I'm just saying it's false marketing. Oh, of course it is. And a lot of these girls are now going to Sephora

and buying skincare that they don't fucking need because these like 16 year olds are using retinol or whatever. It's ridiculous. Stuff like that and it's just wasting money. So it's like let's give them their own like safe haven of like cute fun stuff to use. So that's what we need. We need like a new,

and actually part of the party should be about making people comfortable with themselves. So it would be like a health and wellness on top of the beauty and cosmetics. I'm all about thinking of ideas of like events you can go to that don't involve just like blacking out or getting drunk. Yes.

I was even thinking of like a cat party at night. You just go when you play a cat. You know cat cafes are blowing up Yeah, but I got to tell you that like Cats don't need like a bunch of like Hyper fucking teenagers coming and blowing up their spot You know what I mean? No, not for teenagers first sad 30 year old women

Oh, yeah, but they exist, they're cat cafes Paige and I are trying to pitch retirement homes For people in their 30s who are tired Yeah, that's what we, you know, that's what we need We need like assisted living for people that just can't function Well, yeah, you know, we were talking about there's no in-between. It's either, like, the psych ward, a hospital, or, like, go on vacation. It's like, what about an in-between or you just, you put yourself in a place where, like, yeah, you're not completely tweaking out, but you're not okay.

Yeah, that's a, it's called a cruise. Like, that's what a cruise is. Were you talking about this on Giggly Squab? Yeah, but I just want to lie there and, like, watch TV, and it's not too expensive, and people bring you food and you vent. to someone and you get facials, but it's not like Amangiri, like some $6,000 a night. Okay, well, basically what you need to do is you need to live in like a tiny city and a state with no tax. That's what you're talking about. You're kind of talking about living in the 90s. But there's no phones. So I recently had an organizer come over because I had all this stuff

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You get free samples with every order, which are so much fun, and free shipping on orders over $60. Head to O-S-E-A-Malibu.com and use code burn, B-E-R-N for 10% off. Hannah and I have been using Hungry Root, and if you pay attention, if you read between the lines of our conversations, you know that we're a little bit addicted to delivery service. But the thing about hungry root is that it's delivering you healthy groceries, easy-to-use recipes, it just feels better when you do it yourself. But they send you all the stuff, so they take out all the hassle, all the admin that Hannah and I hate.

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with all your grocery needs for the week, including easy four ingredient recipes to put those groceries to use. Everything from HungRoot follows a simple standard. It's got to taste good. Be quick to make and contain whole trusted ingredients. Been a game changer for us. Right now, HungryRoot is offering burner phone listeners

40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life. Just go to Hungryoroot.com forward slash burner to get 40% on. off your first delivery and get your free veggies. That's huggerroot.com slash burner. Don't forget to use our link so they know we sent you. All right, so here we go. This is dear to my heart and we'll see what you think.

Hi, Hannah and Des. So something from childhood that I think today's kids are missing out on is eating sugary cereals and feeling good about it. I feel like it was very acceptable growing up. in the 90s to have things like cookie crisp, lucky charms, French toast crunch, fruity pebbles, Reese's puffs, all those amazing cereals, but also had equally amazing commercials, as my memory recalls. You could eat those for breakfast and you could feel good about it.

It was part of your complete breakfast or some shit like that. And I just miss those carefree days of starting my day off with tons of sugar. And this is coming from a kid who grew up with type 1 diabetes. My mom still fed me to stuff. So, yeah, miss those days. That's what they make insulin for. Okay, thanks, bye. That is so funny, because there wasn't even a murmur that it was bad for you.

Not a murmur. Like, nothing of the back of your head. And I remember. But I do think that how bad they are for you has been exaggerated. But I'm not saying we should go back to, like, pushing sugar cereals on kids, but I also don't think it's as evil as they're making out. I do have to say, if my milk did not turn into chocolate milk by the, The end of the cereal?

I don't want it. Listen, I'm Coco for Cocoa. Everybody knows it. Everybody knows it. I wanted to fucking slurp some chocolate ice cream at the end of that. Yeah, tricks are for kids. Yeah, and I wanted a crazy, coaxed out animal to be the voice of it. It is funny, though, I, commercials were so good.

I remember it was like you'd watch your cartoon, and then the commercials were just, like, kids having the most fun ever because of cereal or because of this toy. Yes. Or it was just like a such. a fun world. Count chocolate, man. TV was fun back in the day. Yeah, man. I mean, fruity pebbles. Does fruity pebbles still exist? I think so, but yeah, I didn't know till college that like three bowls of cap and crunch was bad. But here's the thing. My mother was, she would let us have sugary cereal sometimes, but like, I, there was a clear division

between sugary cereals and healthy cereals. But what's really interesting is in the modern day, we realized that none of them were, they all had sugar. They thought Raisin Brand was healthy. Yeah, I mean, we ate so much, I'm still a Raisin Brand addict to this day. I remember there was this, there was this guy, like, on the basketball team or something. He, like, hooked up with one of my roommates in college, and we're all eating breakfast in the morning, and we got Raisin Brand, and he's taking the raisins out of the raisin brand. I was like, what the fuck are you doing?

And he's like, all my trainer told me, like, the raisins are bad for me. And I was like, it's fruit. It's a fruit. It's good for you. And he was like, no, it's not good for you. And I was like, you're crazy, dude. You've lost your mind. But the thing is that the whole, taking the raisins out, it's just nonsense.

I mean, yeah, raisins are a lot of sugar, but like whatever. My mom got me, I was on the Kashi train in high school because I liked Kashi. What's Kashi? It's basically like health, it tastes like dirt, but like a little bit of sweetness. I love that shit. But, you know, I mean, all the cereals that I like ended up being full. That's crazy. crazy. That's just a candy bar.

That's just a candy bar. So much of that stuff was just candy. Smoors? Yeah, but that is a candy, smores. But in my head, I was like, it's important breakfast. But then you go to, like, Italy, and, like, they're having cake for breakfast, but I guess it's just, like, healthier ingredients. So they're... Well, this is the...

Listen, man. I mean, I think more and more studies will come out and we'll find out the exact level of how much this stuff is a problem. I just want to know, am I supposed to be eating regular sugar or fake sugar? What's better? I think it's all about moderation. Okay. But I will say that I'm glad I'm from a gym.

Because obviously, we were never fat, you know? So this is the whole thing is they talk about all this stuff in relation to the obesity crisis, but we were not fat. I ate a lot of lucky charms. It was our patriotic duty to the lepracons to eat lucky charms. I ate a lot of lucky charms. I ate a lot of honeycombs. Honeycombs was so good before they got soggy.

No one would. Oh, let's go through the list. Yeah. Which cereals were better soggy And which ones were better not soggy Because in my opinion, Raisin brand got better as it got sagier Yes, yes

But like You can't honey honey honey Toasted crunches toast oats Honey yeah What is it called? Honey bunches of oats The second it will get soggy Which gets soggy very quickly

I was like I can't do this Yeah golden grams I preferred crunchy Honeycombs I hated when it got soggy We had a big in Ireland, I prefer when it got waterlogged. Yes, suck. Waterlogged. It needs to be tortured. I do have to say, um, what was I going to say? I don't know. I should have never put cereal on because I knew that it would take up

the whole pot. I'm very passionate about cereal. I'm very passionate about cereal too. My sister-in-law always said that our family, like, all we did was eat cereal. I mean, there was a time in our lives where like breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I could just have cereal. I mean, it's the perfect it's perfect but I used to have the most regular movements of all time like it's insane but like even like some of the musli movements do you mean bowel yeah even some of the musli I was eating that was just full of sugar I mean I was basically just yeah granola a lot of sugar yeah and I still to stay but what am I going to do I love Greek yogurt and granola yes you think

I'm the problem yeah we weren't fat I know you know I know I'm not railing against modern you know modern dietary habits but I'm saying that it can't just be the sugary cereal because none of my friends were fat and we're all eating that shit because Frosted Lucky Charms are magically delicious

Do you remember Snapcraggle Pop? Rice Krispies but even Rice Krispies is full of sugar. True. I remember making Rice Krispy treats that was so fun for class. I do have to say

that no one talks about the depression that happens when you have Lucky Charms and you realize you ate all the marshmallows and you're just stuck with the plane

and you're like I actually like the plane, too. And I used to like Alphabets. Alphabits was basically Lucky Charms without the marshmallows. You know? You know, you could buy just marshmallows now. They have, that came out. I actually, you know, I've eaten Lucky Charms in my adulthood. Wouldn't be my go-to. Yeah. My reminiscent, the cereals that I love to go back to are cinnamon toast crunch. I like cocoa pops in Ireland, which is actually Cocoa Krispies in America. But Irish Irish Coco Popps are

unbelievable. Look, I'm a Captain Crunch girl through and through. Cap and Crunch Barry's not. I can't. We talked We actually posted a video. I love it. It destroys the roof of your mouth. It's literally an assault. I'm bringing up Captain Crunch on assault. He's being

court-martialed. Captain, you've being court-martialed. Because it's, it's, there's no... What do we love now, the squares? We like life. We eat life cereal now because we're adults. Because Mikey likes it. Who's Mikey?

Mikey was the big campaign for life cereal. Oh, okay. That was an ad man. I do have to say, my generation knows about the 80s because of the VH1 stuff. Oh, right. What was it called? Like the 80s? I don't know.

I live the 80s. I love the 80s. And it was, I posted this recently. It was the thing that was like, these people raised me. And the comics who were the talking heads. Richard... Oh, who was that comic? It was like...

Oh, you met him. Chuck Nice, right? Didn't you say Chuck Nice was on it? Lonely Love was one of them. And it was like, we love the 90s and they would explain like we're dummies but funny of what happened before we were born.

So I remember the 80s and 90s were like always playing. All right, let's... Oh, God. There's just so many. I even can't. Let's... This might be...

This is not relevant to me, but I think it's relevant to you. So let's, let me see. I think the children now are missing out on Tomogacchi's. Those things were so fun. Remember, like, getting home from school and immediately going to a Tamagachi to feed it. Like, those were the good old days.

Oh, my gosh. No, having a Tamagachi was so cool. I mean, I remember Tomogachi's existing, but I actually cannot remember a thing about what they did. Well, you were too old, but the thing is you had to keep it alive. It was just a really fun game where you'd have to feed it and it would get tired

and I know you just had to do stuff and like your tomagotchi would die if you weren't taking care of it but then it evolved to like an online thing where you'd have these different tamagachis that you were keeping alive and like saying it out loud now

it sounds so stupid I remember playing like Carmen San Diego online these games that once they got online I remember there was like a restaurant game that Daniel and I would play it was so fun but then there was always a moment where like your computer would

crash, and then you would just lose everything. Yeah, and your family would die. It's very dramatic. Nintendo, like, the battery would fall out, and we'd be on, like, level 256, we'd have to start from scratch. I mean, even just, like, when you were... Because you couldn't save games back in the day. I mean, then I've been talking about this on stage recently about, like, millennials, why

we have TMJ, the trauma of... What's TMJ? Besides 9-11. Trauma? It's like your jaw is clenched all the time. Oh, right. Okay. How, when you'd write an essay.

say, and it would freeze, you just lost the essay. Like, it was gone, and this would happen all the time. You'd be, like, four pages in, and, like, essays gone. Yes. And you would just, like, cry, and that was... It would happen all the time, because it was, like, the technology wasn't ready yet to, like, save stuff automatically. As I told you, I never typed a report.

I never typed anything from my education until my history dissertation and my final year of college. Everything else was handwritten. That's crazy. education. Was your handwriting considered good? I mean, it was legible.

Yeah. You know? Wow. So. Crazy. Yeah, I remember the Tamagachi phenomenon, but I never got into it.

So let me ask you this. Just knowing you. It was cute like you had it around. Knowing you. Yes, I was competitive about it. Okay, so how long did you keep them alive? Oh.

I don't remember particularly being good about it, but I remember being like... Because basically what I'm thinking is, if we have kids, then I'm going to have to turn it into a competition? Is that what you're saying?

Because you got it. Let's keep all kid alive more than the neighbors. Longer than the neighbors. Let's see if we can not lose our kid before the next kid. What's your child's name? Well, his first name is Tommy and his middle name is Gatchy. Why? I needed to keep Hannah interesting.

The thing is, I like Pokemon better because it was like really competitive. Was it? Got to catch him. it was about like you had it was it was a genius like multi-level marketing scheme or like it was about capturing Pokemon so you'd you'd see a Pokemon but you had to beat it with the current Pokemon you have and you have to do a war and if you beat it then you'd catch it and it was just this collecting that never ended because they kept adding more Pokemon you'd have to keep getting better oh yeah I didn't get the Pokemon thing remember the thing about

like five or six years ago oh yeah Pokemon Go Pokemon Go that was insane and it was like for a month it was everything and then it disappeared yeah Because when we were playing golf at the golf course And one of the staff, one of the bad guys You know, we're all friends Suddenly he's like whipping around a car I was like, what are you doing? He's like, there's a goat

There's a Pokemon out here. I was like, what? Well then people were like, This is actually good for people getting their mental health steps in Because everyone was walking around Yeah, but then didn't people like get run over and shit? Yeah, I don't know what happened with that

But it is this like collecting thing that's cool You're like you get this like dopamine high But yeah, it was harder to get a dope. dopamine high back then. But it was harder to get it to? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I know what you're saying, yeah. Now it is. Actually, I didn't put it in, but somebody said, somebody

misunderstood the prompt. And they said, one thing I have now that I miss from my childhood is serotonin. That is so funny. Which I thought was pretty funny. Look, one thing I'm not about is B.O. And I'm active. I'm out here in these streets. I'm running

around. I'm doing stand-up. And I'm I cannot be smelling bad. I can't be like, oh my God, I went to Hanna Burner's show, and I was in the fourth row, and she reeked. The only thing I want to reek is smelling like false scents. Okay, I want pump and spice latte. I want fresh picked apples, fresh coffee, cinnamon. That's the vibe I want. That's why I love luby deodorant, because there's no boundaries. It was created by an OBGYN who discovered odor isn't just underarm thing. It can be everywhere, and I can tell you she's right. So she developed Lumie, a pH-optimized deodorant. that's clinically proven to control odor everywhere for up to 72 hours, so fall can just be fresh.

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Well, it's no secret that Hannah is a real cat lady, and I've inherited a cat life, and I've embraced it. And now I'm so happy that we're using pretty litter, not only for butter, who everybody knows so well, but also we suckered my brother Aiden into adopting Seamus very recently, So now we have two cats using Pretty Litter. Cats are picky. Hannah's picky.

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Pretty litter.com slash burn. Terms and conditions apply. Seaside for details. We're moving along here. Now this is one, I feel like this is more like adolescence. Somebody misses from their adolescence that I think is going to resonate with you. Hi, hi, does. Hi, Hannah.

Love the pot. I love you guys. something from my childhood that I think this generation is missing out on well it's not really childhood because I wasn't small but I'm in school right now so half of my grade are like 19 and 20 year olds

for like dental so anyway so I think they're missing out on the fact that Instagram in the past they don't know old Instagram when you were able to see who saw who picture who liked what picture and commented on the history and like everything you were able to verify what your man or your girl was doing and also that goes with snapchat now it's just like sending pictures no snapchat before you were able to

like press down on your friend and you were able to see their top three best friends that they've been snapping so if your friend partner or whatever was snapchatting some of the girl guys you were able to see their top three friends Snapchat and be like, oh, well, who's this person? I just thought it was funny because I actually came about in my class the other day at dental school and these little kids just did not know

what that was. I was like, you guys are missing out. Yeah, I forgot about that Instagram in those early days was tracking your, well, making your behavior a lot more known. I feel like it wasn't even that long ago where you could still see on Instagram what people were liking. Yeah, I think it was like six or...

It was like activity. I feel like it wasn't six. I feel like it was like four years ago. You could still see people's activity. Okay, well, I'm going to just say that I think it's probably longer because everything, the pandemic has shortened time. And every time I think something was only four years ago,

it was six or seven years ago. You're right, you're right. That's open. I remember Facebook when it would tell you profile views so you would refresh it and be like oh my god three more people looked at my profile and you would just like keep refreshing it to see like who's looking at profile but yeah snapchat i remember well snapchat was great and then they they ruined it or it was always insane yeah but there was a timer it was just like simpler to use yeah and then they i don't know they did something that

made it harder to use it because i remember that's when i stopped using it because i was like they and it never really came, I know it's kind of back now, sort of, but. People joke that it's when Kylie Jenner was like, no one's on Snapchat anymore. But that's true. Yeah. She kind of ruined Snapchat. Well, now it's a thing again, but it'll never be what it was, which was just like you and your friends posting snaps and all your friends looking at it and then you being out at night and sending to certain people, certain stories of what's going on. I was, I was, those stories, man, I was killing it. Like, I was even like, I, there was like an Irish Times article like who to follow on Snapchat.

Oh my God. Des Bishops always making stories. And then it just disappeared. Well, you know what it was? Snapchat was hopping because Instagram didn't have Instagram stories. Yeah, well. And I remember when Instagram came with Instagram stories,

we all went, okay, so you're just copying Snapchat. This is stupid. Now I don't even think about the fact that Instagram stories was actually a Snapchat. But what happened is now we're like, I'm not going to do an Instagram story and a snap. But at the time, we're like Instagram just copying it, but it's like Instagram knew they were going to,

they were trying to take over. You know, it's a dirty. It's a dirty game. But it reminds me of MySpace Top 8. Do you remember MySpace top 8? Of course I do. That was fucked up. That was just having bridesmaids every day. Yes. I didn't have to experience that drama to the same extent.

Did you experience when people would be in relationships on Facebook? Yeah, yeah. And then it was like in a relationship or it's complicated. A huge thing. Like that was, it was all about when are they being Facebook official. Yeah, and their status changed. Oh, our status changed. I have this

funny story. It was actually with the mascot and I had to bring him up but I was drunk one night and we like it was like early on and I go we don't have I was like I like I like you but like we're not like Facebook officially yeah but people always say Instagram official now well now there's do you know about soft launches and hard launches so that's like a whole thing yeah but Instagram official I guess is yeah when you post them are we Instagram official we've been Instagram official kind of we're married People don't know, though. People, do people, are people surprised when they found out you're married?

What? All the time I get messages, I didn't know you were married. Oh, I don't, you know, I don't have the same amount of people interested in my life these days. So, this one is deep. Oh. And I saved it for now because I feel like this is the core. This is the essence of what's behind all this. This might get, like, deeper than I think you might.

might have been asking for, but hear me out. Seeing something for the first time without having any preconceived notions from the internet. Like not having any idea that something exists at all until you arrive and see it. Like I remember as a kid, my parents took me to Yellowstone and I had never, like, I don't think I ever knew what a waterfall was. Like, or maybe somebody had described it to me, but like I'd never seen a picture. Like, I just remember going to Yellowstone and being so in awe of a waterfall. And like, we're just so desensitized. Like, if it exists, odds are we know about it. And you, like, never get to discover something that's so ordinary, but it feels magical because you just did know it existed at all. And, like, seeing it with your

eyes for the first time like roller coasters or i don't know like i think about that all the time with like disney world well nowadays you can go and watch the video of every roller coaster in the park but like when i first rolled up to disney world with my parents when i was seven years old i had no idea what a roller coaster was what i was into what i was like what i was in for is what i meant to say just crazy that like i said sorry i'm rambling if it exists we know about it and that's very good point and not to get even darker but seeing something you think is cool

and not immediately thinking how do I show people what I'm seeing that too yeah that's part of it for sure even though I do have to say I love creating content so it's fun for me but like there is a beauty of not having the burden to be like if a tree falls in a forest and you don't post it on Snapchat did it fall

well it's not just the burden it's also the fact that the experience of filming it takes you out of the actual experiencing of it. It's like concerts. Like, people used to just watch concerts. Yes. And now I don't know why people film concerts because it looks horrible on the camera.

But she's 100% right. I do have to say, as someone who is lazy, I joke that I do enjoy the algorithm telling me what they think I'll like, where I should go to eat, what I should visit. I've gotten way more into fashion because of TikTok, because I'm visual and I can see all this stuff where if you're just at home,

you have to like read articles back then. No, but also it is just great to have not had the option to research as much. So you had to just experience. And therefore, you were more open to surprise. Obviously on the flip side, you're also more open to like wasting time things that are disappointing.

Or not knowing something ever existed. But it's like, for example, I haven't been to the ERIS tour. I would like to, but like, I kind of get it. Like, I've seen a billion videos. Yeah, but I mean, like, look, we went

to the MEC game last week and, like, you say you get it, but when you're in there, you do feel something. You're so right, yeah. So I think if you went to the ERIS tour, you would feel something. I've never been a big concert person, but. But, yeah, Like, I, there's just time, I remember, you know, doing some traveling before. There was as much information.

So I do think that you're more open to being really surprised by something in the past. But I do, it's 100% pros and cons. But I do think that, like, the wonder that she's, that she's talking about, perhaps there's less of that now because you really know what you do. I also think that here's the other side of that, which is like, I feel like sometimes you have no faith in a place unless it's like reviewed. Yeah, yeah.

Which is unfortunate. Oh, no one talked about on TikTok. Yeah, or like you Google Map and, you know, then you go like, oh, no, there's no reviews on this place. But it's like... But then the ones with a ton of reviews either have like great marketing, sometimes it's like they suck,

but they've been putting money into marketing. Yeah, they're good on the review. Or they had something go viral because it looks cute, but it doesn't actually taste good. I also someone was talking about fashion recently on how the algorithms ruined fashion and how every girl

in New York looks like the same girl with the same hairdo and same earrings and she's like New York fashion used to be like so experimental where you go outside and you see everyone's different but it's also like Was that the TikTok of people walking down West Third Street by the cellar?

No I guess there was just somebody like walking down West Third and it was like next to the line of people going into the village underground and then all these people passing and everyone was like everybody looks the same. New York used to have like fashion and weird people and now everyone's just the same. Yeah, which I don't necessarily agree with. I just think trends before were you had to do more

research where now everyone could hop on the trends and there's affordable fashion and stuff like that. But look, people are trying to express themselves so let's not get judgy. Oh hey, I'm not judging anybody, man. So we do one more? Mm-hmm. Okay. What are we going to finish with? No pressure. There's so many.

You can do another episode. I really think we could do another episode because there's just so many. But since you brought it up, we'll finish with this because it's already come up and we didn't discuss it. But I also want to discuss the fact that I am not 100% sure it's actually as different as we think. So I'm going to play this.

Hi, Hannah. Hi, hi, Des. One thing that I think children these days are missing out on is commercials. I think that we fell in love with so many different ideas of toys just by watching commercials in between cartoons and also became experts using the go-back button on the remote to flip between different shows anytime I'm. a commercial would play. And kids these days just don't have to deal that way. So how do they ever decide, like, what they want for their birthday or what they want for Christmas without commercials? Just my thoughts.

Love you. Bye. So the Saturday morning cartoons of my generate. Do you remember Saturday morning cartoons? And all those commercials. And we had, the reason why I want to play this, we had a lot of people talking about toy commercials. But aren't there commercials popping up on these YouTube videos that these kids are watching?

Yes. There is, right? And also now it's like you just, you Google toys for my six-year-old on, you Google on TikTok. And it comes up. And then the kid is seeing, yeah, wherever the kid's eyes are, the ads are there. But like when they go on Disney Plus, or they go on Netflix and they watch their shows, there's no commercials. But I'm assuming on like Miss Rachel on YouTube, like the commercials are popping up, right? Yeah.

Like, how are the kids... This might be crazy, but are there fewer toys nowadays because they have iPads? Wow, Hannah. I think you might be right. Like, is it... Toys aren't as in demand

because they're just playing games. Because I remember, like, laser tag was... Oh my God, yeah. The present of whatever year in the 80s and we were like, we have to get laser tag for Christmas. And I think my brothers definitely

were still in the believing in Santa category. Yeah. And my father always tells the story that he could not get laser tag anywhere. And then somehow at like the 11th hour, F.A.O. Schwartz, around the corn from Burberry got a delivery. He like had to wait till like 9 p.m. waited for fucking laser tag. Yeah. And like got us laser tag. Oh my God.

And then laser tag was one of the great disappointed. Total bullshit toy. Yes. Like never really registered the thing. But anyway, that was a cabbage patch kids. But the fucking commercial for laser tag was sick. Oh my God. But cabbage patch kids.

That was a must-have. Does that still happen? Because we don't have kids, so we don't know. Twister. Yeah, Twister was never like a must-have. It was just a constant. It was just, you had to have Twister. I just remember, you remember, guess who?

Yeah, guess who, yeah. Oh, Battlefield? Battleship. Battleship. My brother and I love Battleship. You sunk my battleship. That was so, I loved playing those games. Yeah, but every Christmas there was like a hot toy.

So basically, I'm asking the question. True, true. Does that still happen? I wonder I wonder Yeah this is not our demo I mean kids still play with toys For sure

We're gonna learn as Lois gets older Or if we pop one out Or is the toys just gotten so So online Online or just like No I think they still like Is there anything like Lois is like must have that Well don't the little girls

She got like a whole kitchen set My Little Pony they love do they? Okay so they're there used to be this fairy Barbie thing that you pull and it just like shoots up like it was so dangerous. Dangerous. Yeah, like I would just pull it

and it would fly and just like knock over shit and I thought it was the most fun thing ever. I had a lot of my little ponies. I had I would just, then I would just like play dress up all the time. Did you have the oven? Okay, easy bake oven?

Yeah. That is so unsafe. Yeah, it doesn't exist. exist anymore, right? Yeah, because it was probably burning down houses. Somebody messaged in about the easy bake oven. What I remember... Somebody messaged in saying, toys used to be dangerous and that was good, it toughened us up. I remember

yeah, it's so dangerous. One of the toys that I loved, we went to like Costco or something, and there were only like two left were razor scooters. And I remember it was expensive. Yeah, well, that's not that longer, because Kieran, my nephew... I think they've held... Yeah, because Kieran, my nephew

had to get a razor at one stage. But talk about the way they could, like, spin, right? So you'd hit your shin with it and just gash your knee open. And then we would, in Park Slope, we weren't on the road. Like, we didn't have, like, a neighborhood. We were going down the sidewalk. So the second you'd see a sidewalk that was not perfect, you were like, oh, shit.

And then you'd just flip off it when you'd hit the edge of the sidewalk. By the way, can we discuss something? Slinky's never really worked, right? Slinkies, like, on Slinkies, it should have said, hey you have to have the perfect fucking pitch and depth of stairs for this fucking slinky to make it down the stairs

and by the way because you're a child and you have no concept of looking after things you're going to fucking pull it and fucking break it within 24 hours also Beanie babies were big and Furbies Which were creepy one came in It's creepy. Ferbies are creepy

Cabbage kids are creepy a lot of creep Oh I liked is it the all-American girl American girl dolls? Oh, right, yeah. So you could get one that dressed just like you. So I have like every girl I feel like had a photo of her dressed an outfit with a little mini-me.

But like then that was it. Like you got the photo and you're like cool. Later on people like Build a Bear. I think Build a Bear is still a thing. Yeah, I don't know that one. I'm going to play. We're done, right? But I want to play this one because I want to see if you remember this toy

because when I heard this, I was like, oh, my God, I forgot about those stupid fucking things. Okay, this is a really niche thing that we had as kids, but do you guys remember those little, like, tubes that were squishy and they were full of this mysterious liquid and sparkles? And for whatever reason, they never popped, but you could, like, put your arm in, they were like, I don't know, maybe six inches long, and I don't know, know what the purpose of them was, but we

had them as kids, and they were endless entertainment for a child with ADD. Oh, yeah, I forgot those. We need those back. I bet they got banned because of the mysterious liquid, and, like, if you popped it, like, what was in it? I bet you they still exist.

And, I mean, mine was, like, blue with sparkle, so I've, I don't, I never popped, though, but I bet if it did it would stain the carpet. That's what this generation needs. Stupid toys to keep kids entertained. Take away the cell phones, give them bags of mysterious liquid that they can bite and chew

and might have like a little plastic shark in it and fish in it too. That's what they need. Mysterious bags of liquid and shit. We're laughing because we kept thinking it was over. It was so, it felt so good to kind of squeeze it and then it would fall out of your hand. I always thought that toy was a joke toy because you're just. can't actually hold it. Yeah, I don't know what it was for, but I think it definitely, if you,

but I don't think that's, I think it still exists. It might. I think that's just one of these toys that just, you, you don't, you're not around anymore unless you have kids. Yeah. I mean, I, I, I did Google once, like, stuff that's been banned and how, like, a lot of stuff got banned, like, tickle me out, Elmo, because, like, did we ever admit on air that you were wrong about Pogo sticks?

Did we ever? I don't even know what the argument was, but I don't think I was wrong. You said that they, they're, they don't exist anymore. Just that it's not popular. You don't see kids out of it. outside with pogoing. I'm not saying it's illegal. Yeah, but anyway, it turns out there actually,

I got a lot of messages after that episode. But also what she's saying, she's like, we need stupid shit. Remember, recently we had fidget spinners. Yeah. That was, like, huge. Fidget spinners are similar to that, actually. Yeah, but also my, like, joke that I would say is, do you remember snap bracelets?

Oh, God, snap bracelets? So I say, if you like snap bracelets, that's a kid, now you're into BDSM. Nice. Well, anyway, hey, hey it's great to have you back on the pod Thank you for having me back That's based on your name

Thanks for having me back Ask me any time And thank you guys Well no you do the ending now Oh I do the ending well First of hey I'm in Brea Improv this Friday I'm also in Sacramento

On Thursday But that's actually That's gonna be pretty full But Brea Improv was a late head So it's a huge venue Where is Brea? It's in Orange County It's in the O.C.

So, Brea, California. Also, we have Madison, Milwaukee, Minneapolis coming up. For Gigli? For Gigli? For Gigli in the next couple weeks. Okay. And I'm also back in Ireland, Sligo. Wow, I can't believe I'm pushing my Irish states now.

I'm in Sligo. Most of those dates are sold out, but the Sligo venue is huge. And there's tickets left, which is soon, like the 24th of October. But anyway, go on my website, and that's really it. We'll see you guys. Oh, and Hannah will be here when she's here, but I have some great guest hosts lined up for the days that Hannah can't be here. So don't abandon Burn a phone. Stay tuned. We'll see you soon. Love you guys. Bye.