Berner Phone - Berner Phone #62: Stuff That's Overrated

Episode Date: October 25, 2024

Hannah's back (again). We're coming for everything from running to bad sex positions and the dialers are sharing hot takes on the most overrated things in life.   10% off cookware at Carawayhome.com/BERN 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN 200% off tonal.com exercise machines with code BERN 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN 30 day free trial at dipseastories.com/BERN

Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. What's up, my little dialers? How you doing? It's Dez. Hannah's back again. Hannah's back again. And she pointed at me for me to take me.

take it over. If it was Hannah, I'd be like, what's up my, my unbelievably sexy, cool little dialers, my little devious dialers. Ooh, I like that. Little devious, little D-Ds. I'm back because. Well, you never, you only were gone for one episode. I was gone for one up.

I'm so excited about the prompt today. Oh, which was? what something you think is extremely overrated. I don't know why this. Oh, you said extremely? Why? Yeah. I don't know why this gets me going.

Really? I love calling shit out that's overrated or just like I'm sick of shit being popular when it's not actually good. I love de-influencing stuff. Oh, de-influencing. You're a de-influencer? Well, I mean. I'm sure all these companies that hire you aren't too fond of you describing yourself

as a de-influencer. No, all you do all day is people. tell you to consume shit to make you feel better about your insecurities and every now and then there's a girl who's like, I'm going to de-influence you. This thing that they're telling you to buy actually doesn't work. Because this thing, I mean, I'm speaking about products right now, but like the way some influencers talk about products, like it changes their fucking life. I'm like that moisturizer did not change your life. Okay. I actually went on a rant on Gigli Squad yesterday about instead of trying to fix your physical appearance like your pores your eyelashes or whatever

let's start fixing our personalities and what's the product that helps that I think it's consuming content that's positive and funny around you shout out burn your phone giggly squad surrounding yourself with people who are smart and nice and funny this is how cult start because you're basically like, no, what people need to do is, honestly, if they want to be happy, they need to consume my stuff. You can't be happy unless you can consume humorous podcasts throughout the day. I'm just trying to influence people to consume more comedy pods. No, but I do think personality, working on your personality and your soul is, is, really helps everything.

I mean, who's going to argue with this, you know? I mean, you made it quite a lot deeper than it was necessary, but. For sure. Which is what. I always do. It's funny, you go after consumerism a lot. Yeah. So if they were calling the guys that liked Bernie, Bernie bros, what are they called Bernie women?

Bernie bitches? Yeah. I'm not trying, yo, I'm not trying to get political. I'm not saying that you're a Bernie person. Every now and then you come out with some stuff that sounds like Bernie-esque. No, I just, I don't like women spending all their money. on overrated shit. Okay.

And then also some stuff, I think, just because the marketing is really good, is overrated. What's something you think is overrated? Well, this was your prompt. I would have, so, God, what do I think is overrated? I should have thought about this in advance.

I had one a second ago. It went out of my head because we got into this anti-capitalist deep discussion. What do I think is overrated? God. I can't even think. right now? Running?

I think running's overrated. No, running is... I don't think running's overrated. I'd give anything to be able to run. I think running's overrated. It's bad for your joints. It's not as meditative as everyone says it is. Go for a walk. Netflix is overrated? I'm not saying it because you had a Netflix special,

but just like Netflix now, like for everything that's on there, there's such a minuscule amount of stuff that's actually like you want to watch. Or are we just used to having so much content that the fact it doesn't have like hundreds of new good shows each day they used to be a higher hit rate of good shows you know like the the the the the the the quality versus quantity as really dipped in the quantity favor i'm going to say something controversial okay very specific sex in movies is not as realistic well if we're going to go there 69 never understood that

oh really never understood 69 really really hi guys love you so much i'm sure this will be your number one call in but the most overrated thing is 69 um i just feel like it's giving me a weird bird's eye view of the guy's balls i feel like i'm just trying to hold in a fart like especially extra because my asshole is right up against his nose um it's too much endurance involved it's just it's not all it's cracked up to be um special mention is also shower sex yeah awful bye i mean period period period oh period sorry that was very gen z of me um oh yeah i mean shower sex i had a whole fucking 10 minute routine but 69 you've always you've always

been adamant that 69 is overrated well because it wants you to like do something while also it's basically like it's hard enough to come in general when he's let's say he's going down on you but then you also have to focus on doing something else and for girls it's very mental to orgasm so like if I'm getting stuck in your

in your upside down ball sack it's a low chance I'm also going to be able to come yeah but are you doing a lot of 69 where the guy is on top no so you mean like sideways ball sack foot like i don't know she's just saying like you're upside down yeah yeah so she's but yeah the whole thing i don't understand it's like who are you trying to show off for i mean listen who are we doing it for because it's not for me right it's not for you

yeah i think i think the people that like 69 like the sort of that there's a lot going on and that's exciting. Yeah, I think I have a lot going. I think it's less about orgasming and more about the coming, but maybe it's better for guys. Because guys in general, I think, I think, I think the pleasure is in the sort of giving as well as receiving. I think that I have a lot going on in my head at all times and it's like overstimulating to me. Yeah, and I've heard a lot of people say that that it's like, I can't, I need to concentrate a little bit more on what's going on for me. I can't be. Also, granted, early on in a relationship, yes, I'm 69ing. I'm showing off.

Yeah, you're showing off. I'm pretending I like it. Years into a relationship, I'm like, of all the things we could do right now, that's really what you want to do. Yes. Oh, what I was going to say before, which is just random. Adidas sambas. Are overrated?

I think they're overrated. But I don't, like, I, I don't even, are people? Right, like, I don't, what could be... The fashion girls are obsessed with Adidas Sambas, as a sneaker girl. But it comes and goes, though, to Samba thing. I'm on, like, the stage of my life, I'm on like the third round of Sambas being around. So right now it's in again, and I bought them, because I'm a consumer, and capitalism wins again. And they're not comfortable at all.

They're just these flat things. And then there's, like, they're not soft, and I just feel like flat-footed and they're heavy. I hate them I hate them Wow Give me a hoka Give me a new balance Okay

Give me a fucking crock I said it But they look cool Sambas They do look cool They do look cool I also have short legs So like

I don't know It just makes me feel flat You know it's overrated Scented Moisturizer Wow Any moisturizer With fragrance in it

Overrated When did you Did you realize you didn't like fragrance? I don't know, but I know that when I stayed in a very fancy hotel, which I love, but they had an outdoor hot tub and my skin would get very dry. But the moisturizer they provided, which was fancy, was scented, and I hated it. That was a very relatable story. When I was skiing in the Alps in Italy and I would do an outdoor hot tub.

this wasn't this wasn't this was in ireland adding on to that so overrated perfume oh god perfume and cologne people spend you know celebrity brands like perfume is like the number one selling thing i i i've never been a fan of perfume i had a bad experience once during practice where my coach was wearing like a lot of cologne at like six a m and i was running and it made me puke it just like too much but like I also learned at a young age someone told me this that's never been fact checked but that if people never wore deodorant they never get divorced because you'd like really fall in love with their natural pheromones and if you're constantly masking with like different sense it actually affects the attraction of like who you're attracting in your life

but but gentle deodorant's not a problem but like perfume and cologne i literally like i get like an allergic reaction like i can't take i get sick we had like we went to the u.s open and We were sitting in front of... Oh, my God. Dude, you remember that? Yeah, we were sitting in front of this guy who had so much cologne that, like, we were getting, like... I was getting sick. Nauseous.

Yeah. And we, like, couldn't enjoy the match because we were, like, getting hotboxed by his cologne. I mean... I don't like it at all. I like smelling someone's, like, natural, like, shampoo scent in their hair. I don't like... I mean, I remember when guys would, like, spray axe. That was just funny, and honestly, all teenage boys smell bad.

I know, but so I'm, like, put some masks on them. I always put on them. Just, like, some dumb dust. deodorant. Yeah. And then you'll be like, you smell great. I'll be like, why are people spending so much money on cologne? Use old spice. Yeah, it's just like a degree. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it just like reminds, yeah, it's just nice. But yeah, I had never understood perfume. My Nana, like, collects perfume bottles. I think that's cute. But whenever you meet someone and their scent, it overpowers their aura. And this goes back to what I was saying earlier. Instead of working on a fake scent, let's work on

our personalities. Nice. And that's going to be the theme. That's to myself too. Well, actually, I might as well play this. Hi, Hannah. Hi, does. Um, something I think is really overrated is like skincare.

I don't know. I just feel like nowadays there's like 10 steps skincare routines. And honestly, what works for me is literally just using Cetophyll on my face, Cetepil face wash and Cetifil. moisturizer and any time i've tried to get into like nice expensive skincare my skin breaks out and i just feel like it's like expensive and i don't know i just think that like skin care is become really overrated and i feel like the simpler the better maybe anyways love you guys well we always joke about men's skin how they do the bare minimum and guys are fucking glowing

Listen, man, I will back this woman to my death that you, like, because Cedophil, I always pronounce it Cetaphil, I'm fine with, but Cetophil, Eucerine, seraphne, all these like not that expensive moisturizers, body lotion, I put all of my body, including my face, and they've all been fine. Once they're not scented, and I will say that people are getting ripped off on their facial moisturizers. I don't care. You even sometimes say, no, this is good stuff. Honestly, that stuff all works fine for me, except for my ball sack, which is very, very sensitive.

And I made the mistake once when my ball sack was having an irritation of putting more moisturizer on that actually was making it worse. Something to keep in mind for the fellows out there. Okay, for the three men who listen to the pod, that was very helpful. For everyone else, they're upset. Yeah, but people. Everyone else is upset now. But people have boyfriends, you know,

the scrotal stuff, you know. You're raising awareness for scrotal eczema. You got to be careful. You got to be careful with the scrotum. Thank you. I also think everyone has, like, different needs and different skin. So, like, you see one TikTok video of some, like, 22-year-old girl being like, this is so good for my skin. And you're like, okay.

But also, when I get facials, they always tell you, like, okay I diagnosed your skin this is what you need they never tell you the same thing so I'm like I don't know what's going on I don't know what's going on I mean I know I've dry

I mean don't get me wrong you sometimes have these expensive facial moisturises and I put them on but like and they feel nice but yeah I feel like I'm I feel like I'm like taking like cash money and throwing it out the window I know well some

plus I'm so I always put like the tiniest dollop on my finger I know. I also, some people will literally be like, I've been using this on my skin for three days and my skin looks so good. I don't know if I'm just not observant or like I was joking with Paige.

I don't look in the mirror that often, but like I've never been like my skin looks different after three days. It's fucking lighting, man. It's not moisturizer, it's lighting. It's literally the bathroom you're in. Yeah. And like real interactions are so much less important

than they used to be. So like, who gives a fuck about skincare? Just use fucking face tune. Save yourself money. Just work on your texting. Yeah, get face-tune the app, and everything will be fine. Yep. Okay, let's veer off.

Okay, this is personal to me. It's overrated to be grossed out by the word moist. Like, get a personality. That's it. It's not, we're not doing this anymore. I love that. That's so cool. Obviously, you know, I have a routine about it.

Yeah. Which, you know, it's an old routine, but it will. be in my next special but yeah but you know the the moist uh the fact that people are get upset about moist it makes no sense to me i think they it was a meme it was going around it was funny it wasn't a meme it's been around since before memes this has been the thing for decades oh this is a pre-meem issue i think it's yeah honest it's yeah grow up because i you know there's worst things happening in the world than someone's saying the word moist there was an npr documentary i've talked about that before with you right if we've discussed about what

She made a whole radio documentary about why people are uncomfortable with Moist. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, and actually this woman went all of her America interviewing people about Moist and why they don't like the word Moist. How'd she get funding for that? I mean, NPR, you know? So she got funding from like a lube company. But anyway, her conclusion was that it's a subconscious thing that it makes them

think of a woman's vagina. Oh, and men don't like that? Well, excuse me, it's not just men that are uncomfortable with the word moist, okay? But just her conclusion was that for some reason, people make some sort of sexual association with the word moist. Well, I also think how your tongue and your lip has to finish the word, like moist. It's just a lot of sounds. Yeah, but it's, so I talk about that in my bit, and that is where people go there and they

try to say it's the word, but how are you about the word hoist? Anybody have an issue with the word hoist? No, I actually love that word. Joist? Any issue with the word joist? But the moire. It's not the word. Are we in a fight?

No, but I'm just saying that people, so she discussed this in the documentary. I wish I could find actually what the name of this documentary was, but she discussed that people try to say it's about the way it sounds. But it's, it's not. Guys, Hannah and I are loving our caraway cookware set. You know, we're not the best in the kitchen. And I'm a big eggs guy. And it is so sweet to fry up those eggs on that beautiful ceramic non-stick pan.

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Hi, hi, Des. Something that is completely overrated, in my opinion, are rain showerheads, those ones, that are like big and hang from the center of the shower, they never have strong enough water pressure. Like I like to really feel the water coming at me. And coming from the top, it's like you can't breathe under there. Like you need it to come at an angle.

Otherwise, you're just basically like waterboarding yourself through the whole shower, which is just not very enjoyable. But yeah, so my opinion, rain showerheads are super overrated. A thousand percent agree. Yeah, I agree 80%. This is, first of all, she was hilarious. Second of all, whenever I see a rain shower head, I'm like, ugh, it's not going to hit the same.

I want to feel like I'm getting punched in the back when I shower. Yeah. A rain shower head with actual water pressure, I love. Like one that I feel like you're waterboarding yourself? No, I don't. I like one with good water pressure. What I will say is it's very rare that they have that. and a lot of these rain shower heads

they also have this other flaw which is there's usually like a lever that changes it from either the rain shower head or the fucking thing and sometimes you don't know which one it's on you turn in the shower and the one that you can remove from the nozzle

is fucking facing out and you soak the bathroom because you had no idea that the rain shower head wasn't on. Or you're like trying to navigate temperature there's like two knobs temperature and changing from the rain shower head to the other shower head and you don't know how to navigate it.

I literally was doing a joke on stage about how like turning on a shower is so difficult. I feel like a frat boy in college trying to find a clitoris. Like I can't turn the girl on. What? I can't turn on showers. Like every shower has a different dial.

Yeah, the house, the West Hampton house was always an issue because it's one of those old school ones. where don't ask whoever came up with this system it's a bath shower and the bath nozzle

always turns on no matter what first but if you want to get water you have to pull just the tiniest ring down off the nozzle

of the bath it's insane like nobody could figure that out one kind of shower and like have it throughout like a universal system yes yes

you know and I really don't like showers that just have one nozzle, and then the more you turn it, the hotter it gets. Not a big fan. Because I like a cold shower, but to get cold, sometimes you're also turning off the showers. A flawed system. Yes, it's a flawed system. I don't like that system.

I feel like the shower, people who work in showers have been kind of lax. Yeah. And then now there's all this stuff coming up being like, the reason you have acne is because of your shower water, it's dirty. You have to replace your shower head with. this, you know, purifier. Well, one thing I will say, though, life hack is that people don't change their shower heads enough.

I think a lot of times people think they have bad water pressure or their showerhead sucks, but actually... Just build up. It's just blocked. Ew. New showerhead, man. It's not ew. It's just new showerhead.

It's just calcium and lime and shit. But new showerhead, basically a new shower. I don't know if you noticed that in West Hampton House. I got a new showerhead. Change the game. Do you know what I think is overrated? What? Tattoos.

Right. I think tattoos are overrated. I don't know why you'd want permanent ink on your body. Like, I like that they came out with, like, the one-year tattoo or something. Like, I think that's better. I don't know. I think tattoos are... I mean, I guess every culture has had tattoos, like, it's a thing in the world.

I personally don't have the, like, two years ago stuff. I liked. I fucking hate. Yeah, no, I've never been into it for me. I don't trust myself with a tattoo. Also, it's like, you know when you're decorating an apartment and in your head, you're like, this is going to look good and then it looks like shit, that's what my arm would look like. Yeah. And I know some people are really stylish and they can pull it off, but it's, it just seems like an aggressive thing to do. No, I agree. But, but I, I do appreciate certain tattoos on people. it's an expression but I never wanted one

for myself Paige and I've been joking about how girls get very like meaningful tattoos they'll be like this is my grandma's signature who passed away these are the coordinates of where my parents

ancestors landed in Ellis Island and guys will be like this is a lion literally my old roommate Dave just got a tribal tattoo and I was like what tribe and he's like I don't know it's tribal I can't I can't I mean I know plenty of men that have like their mother's death date and different things aren't they I think I think it

goes across the board that yeah I mean I like your simplicity of the gender divide there works for humor yes but I think I think there's a broad spectrum of people liking tattoos they're I'm speaking about a certain kind of guy a real trash kind of guy who gets calf tattoos calf tattoo I never We have a whole bit in our live show About calf tattoos

Oh really We say Things men do Instead of going to therapy Get a calf tattoo And we We have a guy with A compass

And we're like You literally live in A compass? Yeah like he got a compass On his What? Because he's a navigator No we're like

You literally live in Ohio And you've never left your lawn But you have a compass And you're talking about a direction thing, right? Yeah. Not the one that makes a circle. No. Like a northeast west. And who was that? He's a world traveler. Oh, we just found generic photos. You just made it.

Gave the guy a whole personality. We gave a whole personality. Turns out the guy was in the Navy. It turns out the guy's in the Navy. He's like traveled all over the world. Lives in Wichita, Kansas and has never left his porch. Is it Wichita or Wichita? Richie tall I just wasn't sure I actually want to visit No I want to visit

Topeka I heard it's cool I mean I'm sure you can book a show there Ooh what city's overrated What city? Yeah Oh God What city is overrated

Venice In my opinion Why? Because it's just like one huge museum You know I would think Venice is overrated I can't think of other cities that are over, God, what, what, what, what, what, I think a lot of people, I had one, what do you think? A lot of people are going to get mad at me for saying this, but Chicago.

What? I think, is it, this is the thing. You don't want to back off this right now? I should back off it. It's just when I went to Wisconsin, like Chicago people, as they should, are so proud of their city, but they'll look me in the eye and say it's better. than New York. Oh. And I'm like, well, I mean, I'm not good. It's not better than New York. I said, I love Chicago. Let's not compare. Let's not compare. Yeah. Let's not go there. And they're like, no, it's better than New York. And I'm like, I thought when I first saw the skyline of Chicago,

I thought it was Minneapolis. Oh, oh, I actually was impressed with the skyline of Chicago, but there's no way it's better than New York. But I never, I never thought people were trying to say that. Oh, they do. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. When I would say, Chicago is one of the top cities. let's not play comparing games let's not compare but you know what that's because you went to college in Madison yeah it was very

you picked up some like local shit yeah some Chicago stuff there Chicago Chicago so okay let's go this is one that's relevant to us Hi Hannah and Des huge fan of the pod what I think is the most

overrated thing probably ever is being first on an airplane I don't care about diamond gold medallions status frequent fire miles shit i don't need to sit on the airplane sooner than anybody else i don't want to be stuck in there i have a toddler they always want the people with the kids to get on the airplane first i don't want to strap myself into that metal tube any longer than i have to okay well i put this in because i have to tell her why you need to get on first i got to tell you why you're wrong it does a strong opinion now if you're somebody who's checked in

bag and you don't have a roller to get in the overhead, then I'm with you. No need to rush on the plane. No need. You know, if you have a toddler, I would still recommend getting on first because it just less people around you while you're trying to organize your shit. But I understand if you've checked in your bag and you don't have to put anything in the overhead, then get on last. Be that person. But if you have a roller bag, you've got to get on first. Even if you're in first class, you got to get on first because it's it's a race to those bins being full so i will i will argue to death that actually getting on as soon as possible is key yeah does first made me aware of the anxiety i should have in terms of that but if yeah if you go and you don't have overhead

storage that means then you have to either go the back of the plane to put it or you have to check it and it's a whole thing i recently traveled to somewhere for a short amount of time, short enough that I didn't bring a roller. I just brought my computer bag. The freedom I felt, just knowing that I didn't have to worry about getting on early. I didn't have to worry about the overhead. I knew I was going to put my bag in front of the seat in front of, under the seat in front of me. I've never had...

So you know it's overrated. What? The first row of first class. Oh, I mean. And I got put there recently on a downgrade from Delta 1 because they changed planes and there was no Delta 1. And my knee is still suffering from it. The first seat of first class is a disaster. I hate it because, one, you're basically greeting everyone as they get on the plane.

Like, you're just sitting there. You've become the, you work for Delta. You are the host and you're like, welcome. Would you like some water? So you're just like making eye contact with everyone walking in. Even put your head down, you still feel everyone's presence. You have nothing blocking you. Can we acknowledge that this is within the confines

of being in first class? Yes. Obviously, people that aren't in first class would be like, I'll take seat one in first class over. But I don't know if they would because think about it. Come on. You can't put your backpack below you.

Right. So you can't just, God forbid, you want your chapstick or you want to pull out a book. You have to go up, go above. God forbid. God forbid. And then. God forbid you forgot to put your chapstick in your pocket.

Yeah. Then you can't even like. like put your feet anywhere. It's just, and then they never have space on top for you. For some reason. Because you got in too late, that's why. Or Delta decided to use one of them for fucking life vests. Yes, Delta uses it for life fest.

Some bullshit. Some bullshit life fest that you'd need if the things went downhill. But no, it's not that bad. It's just like, that's a first class problem. Okay, so here's a life hack. But this is a Delta one life hack, so I know this is limited. But actually, the first 1A and 1D, the two side aisles of Delta 1 are actually the best delta seats. People don't want them because they're next to the bathroom, and that could be a little loud.

However, they're bigger. They're actually bigger. I didn't know that. Life hack. For bigger people, that would be good. For me, it's huge. I actually thought this is another controversial take. Oh, my God. Hannah, I don't even know why we had the dialers dial in.

I'm very passionate about this. overrated and some people will disagree and that's like i it's fine because everyone has different personality types concerts oh that came up a lot i think concerts are so overrated i i get it it's so cool to see a person you look up to like a celebrity in person but if you're like not in great seats and you're just surrounded by fucking drunk annoying people crowds give me anxiety i also would argue sports events when you don't have good seats and you're not with like a really good crew I'd rather watch it on TV

I mean I'm a big fan of watching them on TV until they really matter and then I like being in the atmosphere concerts I also I've never I went to like two concerts in my life I've just never I also because I don't I don't do drugs I think a lot of people said concert I have to disagree some of my fondest memories

are of going to see like amazing moments I mean will I bore the listeners with some of my highlights? Yeah. I saw the Beastie boys at the electric picnic in Dublin Did you have good seats? See it was in a tent I was dancing like a lunatic right at the front I rung

I literally took my shirt off afterwards and I rung it out Full water How old were you? Full of I was in my 30s Wow. It was like a that was a bucket list moment for me So you're sober? The roots I hardly went to a car I got sober when I was 19, how many constant did you think I went to before I got sober.

I hardly, I don't, I think blues traveler was the only fucking, I hardly went to concerts before I got sober. I never really, my mind. Anyway, another incredible, the roots in the Olympia Theater in Dublin, like one of the highlights of my life. And then you were on the Tonight Show,

and I, I didn't want to just be like, oh, I love you guys, but incredible concert, Olympia, Dublin. I mean, God, so many. LCD sound system, electric picnic.

Oh, Rage Against the Machine, Nassau Coliseum, Gangstar opening up for them. And Rage Against Machine, I win the fucking Mosh Pit. One of the highlights of my life. So, I appreciate that you think they're overrated, but... Well, as I said, it depends on the person, like, you really like dancing

and raging. It just, yeah. You have to go to good ones, though. I know. Well, that's, I think there's a wide range of, like, the energy has to be right, but when the energy's right, it's, like, incredible. Oh, watching the throne. Kanye and Jay-Z,

Oh my God, I want to see that. The three arena in Dublin, like one of the best concerts I was ever at. And Jay-Z stole the show on that. Really? Oh, my God, it was so far. That show was so good. And what they did visually was incredible. How did he steal the show?

You know what? You just don't expect it. He was so good live. Yeah. Kanye was fine, you know, but he was like in auto tune. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Jay-Z. And they did N-words in Paris like seven times at the end.

Like, ask, ask. ask people about the end of watching the throne tour because they keep doing it and you think it's over and then everyone's like, everyone's still, and then it goes, and then it goes, burn it, and the plate that's dope. And everyone goes nuts.

Yeah. One of the highlights in my life. So I think what I'm trying to say is, I don't think concerts are over here. You love concerts. You love concerts. You've never asked me to go to one with you. Well,

because since I met you, I haven't been able to move. That's unfortunately. I haven't been to the airs, No, haven't we, we haven't got to any shows? We haven't got to any concerts? I mean, the first year there was none. Because we're busy performing.

Yeah, but the first year that it was the pandemic and then, anyway, you could have went to Taylor Swift and you didn't go. I couldn't because I got back from Vegas late from a show. By the way, Taylor Swift came up like 20 times. It's overrated, but we don't go there. We don't touch that. All right, let's go. Let's go dirty.

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but if he's on the smaller side then it requires a little less prep work you can just pop that thing right in. Usually they know what to do with it when it's on the smaller side. And it's just a more enjoyable experience for all. Personally, I have endometriosis. So if you're really getting up there, then I am going to have cramps for the rest of the day. I've even had my period start early from getting roughed up a little too hard. So yeah, I am pro-medium. If not small, penis. That's my hot take. There's so many men being like, yes!

Yes, Queen! No, she's so valid. I mean, early on, I would talk about the concept of boyfriend dick, which means it's not crazy big. It's just right. Goldilocks. You need a Goldilocks penis. Yeah, I mean, of course, there's this concept of, like,

comparing and being like, who's bigger, who's more alpha. But, like, I feel horrible for some of these guys with, like, abnormally big dicks. They, like, can't have sex. Yeah. Well, I think there's clearly some people that fetishize about big cocks, but I think in general, outside of the people that fetishize about huge cocks, you just, you need ample. Ample, I think. You don't want to feel like you're losing your virginity every time you have sex or you have to do like a full meditation to try to relax all your muscles. I do think some girls might be better built for it. Like maybe some girls have a wider set hip bones that could handle it. And you're not going to yuck somebody's young I'm not yucking somebody's yum But even like trying to give a blowjob

You're like this is This isn't going past my gum Like I can't get my teeth around it Oh yeah, so huge And arguably I would say It's less about the length and more the girth If it's too wide you're just like This is a fucking baby arm

I don't know what you want to do with it That was my cousin used to make that joke You'd be like You know mine's not that long but it's wide I'm hung like a tuna can. That's what he used to say. I'm hung like a tuniccan. Ew.

No, this is so true. And I think girls... The problem is that like... The problem is that ample is not sexy. I've never seen a girl complain about a normal-sized dick. Like a guy is never going to want his girlfriend to be like, his cock is just like so ample.

As in like girth. No, just perfect. Oh. It's the correct size. No, girls say that. It's enough. Girls say that. enough. Girls will be like it's just

right. Like it could not be more perfect because, but that's why I think women should have sexual experiences so you know what you like. What you like and what you don't like. And if you're fetishizing something, go for it. See if it's right for you.

Someone poses a funny video back in the day just being like, I love a little dick. I'll do Pilates on that dick. I'll spin around on that dick. Like all this stuff you can show off. But know the big dick like they're controlling you. um so yeah that's a raise awareness watch out watch out for that this is just funny it's not it's it's it's it's kind of funny this prompt is funny because i've been sitting here thinking

about all of the stuff that i find overrated i'm like yeah pizza's overrated friends are overrated traveling's overrated and then i'm like oh maybe that's what they mean when they ask the question for your health care screening um your mental health screening when they say do you still find interest or joy in the things that you used to and I'm like maybe it's time to call the doctor and adjust my meds anyway I love you bye okay I'm obsessed with her I'm obsessed with her I do think getting old that's like a bit yes that's a bit but like getting older in your 30s is realizing like just because society tells you should like shit doesn't mean you should like it and just do what you like um I think parties are overrated I fucking hate a party the like the small talk of

Throwing parties is particularly overrated. Hosting a party is a fucking nightmare. So overrated. Especially if you're like... Dinner party. Yeah. I'm just making sure it doesn't fall. I saw a TikTok yesterday.

That was really interesting about friends being overrated. And I think it's so valid. Some girl was like, don't trust the girl that has tons of friends because she's like, that bitch is fake. Like if you can get along with that many people, you're either like not being authentically yourself or you're able to be fake. with a lot of people. She's like,

trust the girl that just has a couple good close friends because she's a real motherfucker. She says it like it is. And I was like, yes.

Yes, motherfuckerfucker. Yes. Man. The life of sweeping generalizations from the internet. I love it. She was like,

do not trust bitches with more than six friends. Yeah. You think guys are more likely to have more friends? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, guys have mass generalizing again

I'll see guys Because I feel like I have a lot of friends And I got like eight friend groups Yes, because you don't talk about anything ever That's not true You guys are like, babe, you could talk to You could play golf with someone for eight hours And you won't know if they're still married

This is ridiculous Talk about death, we talk about life We talk about heavy shit Yeah, but you don't talk about good gossip You don't know, you're not there You're not there Oh you don't know I'm actually under The golf cart

and I'm listening to everything you've been doing. But, no, but I would see, like, guys at my show will be at my show. Like, two guys will be, like, laughing. And I'm like, oh, you guys know each other. And they're like, no, we just sit next to each other. And they become best friends. What's wrong with that? It's a happy life.

I think it's, there's a difference. There's a difference between male and female friendships. I think women, it's more, there's more depth. Okay. We'll accept that. Hi, this is Todd from New York City. My wife, Dana, is a big listener of yours. and she handed me the phone because she wants me to just randomly riff on the thing

that I think is most overrated, which is spending time with family, specifically in-laws. And I don't know if that's necessarily rated very highly to begin with because I don't know of many people who like spending time with their in-laws. But let me tell you, my in-laws, they are just really obnoxious human beings. And I don't know how people do it, but these guys, it's just like they live off of complaining. Like, if they can't complain, they're not happy in life. So, yeah, very overrated. I've, like, literally had to go to every single holiday

since I've known my wife for 13 years at their house. So I've spent, what is that, 26 holidays with them, Christmas and Thanksgiving, every single year. It's been pretty brutal. I'm not going to lie. You know, I spent so much money on rent in New York City, and here I am going out to Jersey. I just love it so much.

I love that she's like, babe, give them some of these overrated. And then he goes in on her family for two minutes. I feel like she was probably dying, laughing while he was. Yeah, that's fucking hilarious. Personally, he's a great voice. Great voice. It's like, it's like almost like, is this guy real? It's a character.

But it's, it is true. Like you fall in love with someone and you don't anticipate that then you have to like spend so much quality time with the people, their parents. But then sometimes the people who made the. person you love you feel like yeah although i do also feel that he wasn't just talking about like the parents i think he was talking about like the brothers and sisters and the family yeah yeah yeah you know and you know probably there's i feel like there probably some sort of political divide i do think

that there is something to be said about how extended family they're technically family but sometimes like you don't feel as comfortable around them you know or like they're not yeah they don't abide by the same well you get lucky or unlucky man you get lucky or unlucky with Some people are like, I fuck, my cousins are my sisters, like they're the best, my cousins. And some people are like, my cousins are fucking weird. Okay, I'll tell you what's overrated. Thanksgiving is an absolute, like the fact that American Thanksgiving is in the end of November and then four weeks later we're doing Christmas.

I think the timing of it is overrated. Yeah, but the whole thing is overrated. It's not even a real thing. I have some really good memories of getting the family together and eating turkey. When you live a life free of Thanksgiving, you realize that it's not a necessary holiday. It's too close to Christmas. You get everything from Christmas. It's too close to Christmas.

The Canadian Thanksgiving was a couple of weeks ago, and I was like, you know what? You guys are doing it right. We should actually amalgamate Halloween and Thanksgiving into one holiday. Oh, yeah, like we're thankful and dressing up. But also that we get the four-day, we get the four-day holiday. So it should be at the, they should turn it into the Halloween Thanksgiving event, right? So then Thanksgiving dinner and then the next day you go trick-or-treat. What a holiday.

One thing that I My least favorite holiday Do you know my least favorite holiday is? No Halloween Really? I don't know what it is

About my personality Or like some insecurity or something I hate dressing up I hate it Like I feel like it's like Dorky Like I never feel less cool Than when I try to dress up

Wow I just don't like the hassle of it No I don't like the hassle I don't like dressing I don't like theme parties period there's something about it that I just feel like so not myself. I think I'm trying to be myself like all I do in my life is be like

what's how do I find who I am and myself and then Halloween it's like dressed stupid and I just never feel comfortable like I'm struggling with a fit for this Halloween because everything I just feel embarrassed by I used to love if I had which is very rare

but if I happen to be back in New York during Halloween I used to love the trick-or-treaters coming and my dad used to love that too and I did find that fun but then unfortunately the day that my dad finally went to the hospital was on Halloween so I was

I was dressed up as the cat in the hat while my dad was like and I was like dad you just need to drink you need to eat some yogurt to settle your stomach but he actually had cancer so now I'm not as into it but most of my life I actually

So you liked giving the treats Yeah, and I liked, you know, all the different personalities that would come to the door I do have to say Halloween and Parkslow Brooklyn with all the brownstones in a row and just going up and down the brownstones was epic And then when you go on the avenues

All the stores that were giving out All these local stores. So like growing up It was amazing. I mean, I remember I'd come back from tennis practice late and everyone would be trick-or-treating already And then I had to shower and quickly change into my outfit. And then all the teenagers had shaving cream all over themselves

because they were cool because they would like have shower cream. Yeah, we did that. Sour cream. Shave and cream fights. The one thing I will say about the in-law thing just to get off. It's kind of annoying.

By the way, I'm very lucky with you and with your family. But the one thing that's annoying about family and this is nothing to do with you, this is just in general, is that like there's always one or two duds and you're just stuck with them. them you know and like nobody really wants them there but you just have to deal with that that's

the only thing that sucks about family parties you know saying like the it's not natural like everyone loves loves each other's energy like there's always like a little some stuff that's off a little drama yeah well the drama no drama like honestly i don't have that much family drama knock and it gets boring i'm like can someone have something to talk about well All you got to do is bring up politics and it'll get kicking. Let's go for one more. I really believe in this. Okay.

Hey, Hannah. Hey, Des. You know, it's extremely overrated? AirPods. I don't understand why people love AirPods so much. They're so tiny. They get lost. They fall out easily. They hurt my ears.

Honestly, I don't understand the appeal. AirPods are extremely overrated in my opinion. Thanks. Love you. Bye. Amen. You know this is my whole identity. Well, I know you have the Delta.

headphones thing, but... The second it came out, I was like, absolutely not. Because first it was just douchey guys with it. Rock around New York, like, yelling about stocks. And I was like, well, I don't want to look like an idiot. You frame everything.

It's so funny how you frame it. I'm sorry, all I remember is men yelling in the street, and I thought they lost their mind, but then they had, you literally pointed out at the airport. No, no. Men yelling on their phone. loud. I didn't say men. I said people yelling. It's mostly men like thinking their meeting is more important than everyone else's meeting. Some alpha shit. It is definitely like all the guys who are like, I'm going to be a million overnight was like got their AirPods. And I know I will lose my purse. So like I'm not getting AirPods that look like Tic Tacs. Like I'll lose it before I get it. And people make fun of me because I use full headphones. And I use full headphones. And yeah, when I have to charge my phone, I can't listen to music at the same time.

But at least I have my headphones. I didn't lose them. Well, first of all, all do you need to do is just be a little organized with your charging. AirPods are, first of all, they have to be charged. That's the number one thing. So everyone's always like, oh, you can't charge your phone. Wait, you have your AirPods. Yeah, you've got to charge your fucking AirPods.

Yeah. And I'm busy still forgetting to charge a vibrator. Is there anything worse? You're at the gym and it's like, your headphones are low. Your battery is low. It's like, oh, no, what the fuck am I going to do? And then also, it's, Bluetooth is so weird.

It's fucking, I'm getting connected to other people's AirPods. Yeah, and like half the time, it's like a mystery. Anyway, they're just so easy to lose. The minute they came out, I was like, I'm sure I'll like these, but I'm also sure that I will lose them. And losing, of course, I lose my wired headphones also, but like, it's not the same pain. Losing a set of wired headphones,

it's not the same as losing your fucking AirPods. Ooh, I thought of another thing. lip plumber gloss you're going to have to take this one away this is how we're going to wrap it up okay so there's this thing it came out and it's like lip plumber like you put on this lip gloss and it plumps your lips do you know how it plumps your lips it like burns it

so it like your lips it's like you just had a spicy chicken wing so you put it on and your lips are fucking burning so it gets inflamed and then it makes your lips like a little bit larger Why are we doing that? Who's like, you know, to make this better if my lips were burning right now? No guys, like, you know,

I wasn't sure about her, but now that her lips are slightly more red and plumpy, I'm of love with her. Let's stop with the lip plumber. Let's stop. Let's stop with all the stuff about fat lips,

you know, just in general. And by the way, we haven't discussed the fact that AirPod's never stay in your fucking ears. Oh, yeah. People have different ear shapes. Yeah, like who does,

I'm excited that the AirPod is perfect. You know, which subset of humanity has the perfect-shaped ear for an iPod? Because it's not me. I can tell you that right now. Well, they have other kinds, not Apple, but that will wrap around your ear. Do you like those better? Well, yeah, because they stay in my ear. Yeah.

There's something going on my ear because AirPods. Dropping an AirPods in New York, you should just say goodbye to it. Yeah. My ears basically, when I put an airport in, my ears are like, excuse me. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, I have a tickle in the back of my throat. That's what my ear is like when I put an AirPod in. Just no interest.

And then they fall in the, it's fucking disgusting. But then, then, like, sometimes I'll post a video on my Instagram and I'll have, like, wired headphones. And people are like, oh, my God, you're such a boomer with your wires. I was like, no, you're a fucking idiot. That doesn't understand that these are better. No, this podcast is sponsored by wired headphones. I literally have Delta headphones in my ear right now.

I actually, I was the one that was pushed the Delta headphones. You really, you kind of took over the Delta. I was like, I was the one that said to you first, take the headphones because then you can use them. I always took them, but like the concept of collecting them was definitely from you. But now it's all in a ball in the corner. Yeah, but how many, you know, we got, we got, we're never, we always have headphones. We always have headphones. But what's crazy to me is when the woman's walking down and people aren't raising their hands, I'm like, that's $10.

dollar headphones. You're on the Delta Most Wanted list for for headphones. I walked on I saw a whole box of them. Like they had it out and I was like, oh, that's the gold mine. That's it. Gold mine. Yeah.

I mean, I don't have one pair that's not, that doesn't have an unnecessary knot in them. True. But also like all headphones are pretty created equally until you get like fancy ones. The ones that are like $10, $20, $30. Those are all the same. Honestly, I accidentally bought, I needed a pair. recently and I bought them but they were like wired but also Bluetooth but somehow they were they bypassed that you know the way Apple has like a volume control thing yeah they seem to bypass

that they were fucking loud and once or twice I turned on my phone they were fucking loud but the sound was incredible and I lost them so I miss those anyway we're done you guys thank you so much for your hot takes what a great array sorry we have a lot more I'm gonna play out a few more was we have a lot more. Hey, can we finish with somebody messaged in that it wasn't a, it was a somebody that was inspired by you. So will we

and with some positive light? Before we play it out, do you want anything to plug? Oh, we're going to be in Minneapolis and Madison. We added some tickets to those shows this week, so check them out for Giggly Squad.

I'm in Sligo on Thursday. I started a little mini Irish tour and then when I'm back in the States, I'm in Boston in December, I'm in Seattle, I'm in Vancouver, so check those shows out. And then Minneapolis and tons of shows in the new year. So Hannah, to take us out, this is a young Mexican girl that you've inspired. Hi, so I'm a 17-year-old from Mexico, and I just want to say my ex texted me back. Not back. I did not, that was uncalled for it.

I did not text him. He texted me through Instagram DMs, and you know what? I'm not going to text him back. I'm not going to text him back because I listened to your Netflix special, and I'm a woman, and I can get any man in this world. So you have empowered a 17-year-old girl, so thank you. Thank you for that. And I did not know you had a podcast, so I'm about to go listen to it right now.

This is crying. No, but it's not so cute. That was so cute. It's so cute. Wait, that's all I want to do in this life is make sure a girl doesn't text back her ex. That's all I want. It's literally all I want. There's too many men.

I always say if you want to get over a guy, find a new guy. If you want to get over a problem, create a new problem. You will forget the last one so easily. Yeah, and if you want to get over, you know, you're losing your dog. Just get a new dog. That's what I always say. Save another life. Yeah, exactly.

We love you guys. Thank you so much for dialing in. Thank you. We'll see you soon. Bye.