Berner Phone - Berner Phone #67: Are You The Asshole?

Episode Date: December 2, 2024

Family and friendship dynamics are complicated, but someone is always the asshole. Based on the popular Reddit thread "Am I the asshole?", we're deciding if the dialers are in the wrong this week. 

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It's hot today. Hannah and I have been watching Say Nothing. There's a show called Say Nothing on Hulu. Yeah, or FX. Or FX, and it's really good. And it's about the Irish. It's about the North. The Northern Irish.

The north of Ireland. But anyway, so... We recommend it. Unfortunately, Hannah has been subjected to me doing a Northern accent for 24 hours. But it's hard to shake it when you've been... Does anyone else have a husband who, when he watches one TV show, he then has to pretend he's a character in that TV show for the next two weeks? You should have seen him after Vikings Valhalla.

Well, that is not true. I was not pillaging. I was not... I was at pillaging for two weeks. No, you're good at accents, so it's actually very funny. But I did want to say I'm proud of us. Because every episode we think of a funny prompt for the next episode, but then we never remember what it was.

The last episode, we were talking about the Reddit thread or the Reddit community called, Am I the Asshole? And we wanted to do our burner phone type version. Yes. Well, it's a good prompt. That's why. Yeah. And that thread gets freaking crazy. One of my good friends, Her Pod Hot Takes, is only about that thread because it gets so wild. But we wanted to see the dialers

call in about their scenarios for us to judge them to see if they're the asshole or not. I've never seen that Reddit thread. This is not from that Reddit thread. I very quickly did a... I read an article. I didn't even see the thread, but I read an article.

And they have like loads of an acronyms and everything. Yeah, it's a whole culture. Yes. But this is... Even though you've never seen the thread, I feel like you're kind of... an expert at seeing if people are assholes or not

I don't know man I really feel like if I went back on my life I'm 50 50 of you like my own experiences of situations where I was like am I the asshole yeah I think 50% of the time I was the asshole but I think because you've been the asshole

and you're a Scorpio you're actually really good at deciding who's the asshole in the situation Even with me, I'll tell you what happened in my life And you're always straight up You're always either like you were the asshole or they were And I feel like you're always right

Well, yeah One thing I'm better at than you Is judging when people are like Like not genuine Yes I'm very bad at that have like Alternative agendas You'll immediately clock them

Where I'll be like They have a nice smile I'm not always right But I think a lot of the time In comedy, I don't think in real life no But in the industry I can spot the phonies. Yeah. And

I also think sometimes both people are the asshole. Sometimes it's a gray area. Sometimes there's four sides to a story. And honestly, after living in Ireland most of my life, it can be hard sometimes because Irish people just can't handle the bullshit. So I'm probably overly sensitive

to the American entertainment industry bullshit. But also as New Yorkers, Being asshole is not always bad. No, sometimes you've got to be an asshole. Sometimes the best thing about New York is one of my, recently, I'm falling asleep.

Someone starts doing some kind of construction at like 11 p.m. But I know I just have to sit back because within five minutes, someone was yelling, shut the fuck up! In our apartment? And they stopped, yeah. It's a co-op. That's a, read the bylaws, buddy.

Sometimes, but I think it was outside. Or some car alarm, something happens to the subway, someone's being an asshole. New Yorkers are going to tell them to stop. But also being an asshole is empowering at times because you have to have boundaries. I argue I wish I was an asshole more often. I feel like the asshole meter has different gauges depending where you are. Like in New York, you can push it a lot higher before you're actually an asshole or is in the Midwest. You could be an asshole just for like honking the horn.

No, literally. There was a driver in the Midwest And we were like so late to the show And I was like, you could honk, buddy And he was like, oh, no, I'm not honking I'm like, these people are like They're messing up Someone needs to tell them

I'm like some of these situations Would never happen in New York Because New Yorkers are assholes And it keeps things flowing Like no one We don't let stuff Be fucked up for too long Because someone's gonna get called the fuck out

Yeah, well let's get into it Let's go for an easy one Hi Hannah, hi Des Love you both so much I'll just get right into it. It's long. So last year is planning my wedding and my sister gave me a heads up that I couldn't plan it for a specific day because she had a race. Well, it turns out that my venue was only available on that day, of course, and she told me that she wouldn't come if I planned it for that day. My dad ended up calling her selfish and that was a huge blowout between her,

myself and my dad just because she was called selfish and I ended up changing my wedding date my venue so that we could make it work for her since then though she hasn't spoken to my dad and has maintained that calling her selfish was the rudest thing he could have said I definitely have my opinions on this give me yours thanks I'm going to cut to the chase here her sister's an asshole I knew you were going to be like this. I knew you're going to be cutthroat. Well, no, because it's unacceptable.

Who gives a fuck about your race? Unless it's the Olympics? Yeah. You know? Unless. Yeah, what's the race? Yeah, unless you're fucking Shikari Richardson. Yeah, unless you're in the final of American Ninja Warrior.

Like, I'm not having it. I do have to say, there's, this happened so much with weddings. Like, tons of things with weddings come up in the, am I the asshole? And I think it's because there's a weird, like, like attention thing maybe. I don't know. People get very weird about like someone's day. But the first thing I thought of is you're only getting married between one to four

times in your life. Let's be honest. Yeah. You could do five races a year. Shit, bro. Yo, the race. First of all, I can understand this just to being like, hey, on the off chance you have some options.

Just keep in mind. Right? But then when it's the only day, which of course is a Murphy's loss of truth. Of course it's the only day. Right. But then the sister's like, don't worry. about it it's not an important race yeah a wedding the sister would be like i tried but i totally understand also as the sister i would feel selfish if she had to change the date to or change the venue

just for me to be there like it's not worth it i don't i think i think the sister's an asshole also your dad calling her selfish is that really the worst thing that no yeah yeah like that's crazy but she's selfish it's selfish man it's selfish to even bring it up but also i don't like when people do that thing where they bring something off beforehand and then use it against you, like obviously what she, just because she told you early doesn't make it okay. You know what I mean? I honestly, to me, this is like pathological. This is malignant narcissism.

Well, I also, in my opinion, it's really bad. The fact that she also cowered to it, and I'm not saying like clearly you love your sister and you want everyone to be happy. But she's afraid of her. Yeah. It's not good. Sorry, did we go too far? I think that's what this podcast is about.

She's so lighthearted. I know, yeah, I know. We're being super. Listen. Des is available if you need to come and call one of your family members an asshole. I apologize for going too hard there. I hope that's okay. No, in this specific situation, I think you're right.

Well, you could, I'll read the subtext of, I have my own opinions on this, she said? She said that. Yes, she did say that. The subtext was, I know that my sister's an asshole. Wait, can I say one other thing not to like empathize with the sister? But sometimes people have these like obsessive workout disorders where like if they don't do it. So like maybe she's fighting like her own kind of demons.

Oh, this is quite funny actually. Hi, beauties. Thank you for the pod. Love both of you. So my ex-husband requested the Peloton I bought him for his birthday in the divorce. I gave it to him, but before he picked it up, I may or may not have put north of 60 stamps with my face and his face on them that we use for our wedding invitations all over the wheel, and Gugan cannot get that off. I'm not even a little bit sorry, to be honest, and it sparks a lot of joy for me, so yeah, thanks, love you, bye. I mean she's clearly not an asshole

No it's very funny It's very funny because you know what is it's like It's like a gentle sabotage Yeah it's just it's trolling It's like hoping that he has like a little A scratchy tag you know exactly It's subtle But also

It's kind of almost funny Like I almost feel like he'd be like Huh Well this is a thing She bought it you want it She's she's peeing on it Yeah and like it does get annoying With the pettiness of like who gets what

you know so that's nice you go i think peloton still works she's extremely nice peloton still works he goes you should pay more for that yeah so that i honestly there's i don't have much to add i actually just found that very entertaining all right let's get oh this is this is this is a good one this is this is like a dilemma hi am i the asshole for not wanting my boyfriend's ex-baby mom's ornaments on her christmas chew for example one is john and james first Christmas together, 2019. Is that necessary on my tree in our home? Am I that asshole?

She's saying the guy she's with now has his old baby mama's on the tree. Yeah, like old baby mama Christmas ornaments. Who's putting it up? He is, but I got the impression when I read it, but now when I hear it, I think, I feel like she kind of accidentally omitted, like the child is on that ornament too. Well, yeah, it's probably for the child. Yeah. Yeah, like the child comes and can see the face.

Is she the asshole that she doesn't want it? I think she's not the asshole. I don't think she's an asshole. I also, again, it's, he came with some baggage. He came with some baggage and he can't, you know, murder his past family. I mean, I guess he's trying to give the kids some continuity. Like, you know, this is still okay? Using the word continuity is so funny.

Is it? In a kid's life. Well, you know, just the sense of like your mom is still involved, you know? Yeah. That there's like a positivity towards the mom. Well, this is also the question. Is the kid coming to Christmas or not? Because if the kid isn't, that's weird.

Oh, yeah. The kid, first of all, I still don't think he should put it up. I think, you know, I just, it's... Unless if it's like, you know, all the baby moms come together and everyone's like cousins and everyone has a good time or is it like nick cannon where he goes to every different woman you know he's santa claus he's more tired than santa claus after yeah because he has to visit all the houses does he actually do that do you talk about that yeah there's he had like photos with all of his families last christmas by the way when are you going to meet

nick cannon i feel like do you know i've met him before i've met him too actually where i hosted Montreal 2010 I hosted like one of these late night shows he was on oh wow and all my my overriding memory was everyone was like he's married to moraicaree that was that was his at that time especially yeah that was like his big thing I met him when I was at betches like he was promoting a song and I wrote like two sketches and acted in it with him oh really so it's Nick Han has been in my life a long time but he I don't know if we've never like well he didn't manage to impregnate you fail Nick Cannon

Fail But you made him laugh You made him spit out of his drink Shout out And see Shout out powerful queen All right Let's get into

Are we done with that dilemma Oh so who's the assail What do you think? What's the conclusion? I think I think no one's the asshole there Interesting I think you're allowed

Your feelings are valid Yeah She's not even trying to say Somebody else is the asshole right I definitely think You are not the asshole. You're not the asshole. Also, Christmas ornaments are stupid.

Yeah, seriously. Oh, this is funny. Hey, guys, love the pod. Also a big giggly squad fan over here. So, am I the asshole or not? So I have a stepson, and he has curly permed hair, and I have natural curly hair. And I have a four-step routine hair products that I use in the shower. And I've started noticing that he started to use it because my product's been going way fast.

than it should be so now I've started to hide the product after the shower after I'm done showering and hide it from him until I'm ready to use it again am I being the asshole by doing that because that shit's expensive and that boy does not know portion control with how much product you should be using wait did you say he has a perm yeah he's got permed curly hair wait so is this what the kids are doing I don't know I can't I can't speak on that wait that's fucking, I can't even get past that. Because I know these boys have this, like, wild hair in the front, but, like, perm. What?

That's like the 80s. I think my mom had a perm. Yeah, the 80s, everyone was getting perms. Perms were a big thing. My generation missed all the perms. The perm process, yeah, the product was, like, really weird. But also, like, for a 12-year-old boy to be wanting a perm, seems so strange to me. I know, but, you know, you've gotten to that age now where you're like, I don't understand these kids.

We'll ask, I'm so, I'm so, I've become that, I am her. I'm not on Christmas being like, I remember when you were little and you're so big. So. Well, we'll ask your, your nephew tomorrow. What? About his hair. Oh yeah, but no, let's focus on the actual issue.

Is she afraid to confront him? I mean, I think this requires, first of all, you're definitely not an asshole. Not a asshole. Not a asshole. Not a fuck. Now, I, I think it's totally cool for, him to use it but like she she definitely needs to say to him like yo are you using my hair product

because then if you are it's like you got to you got to like chip in a little bit or at least understand that it's expensive yeah and like i don't want to yeah i don't want to run out and you know or be like hey do you need your own product like let's find something that's right for your hair yeah and have daddy pay for it well seriously i mean it's the stepson too that's the funny as part. She's like this fucking stepson. Yeah, it's like you didn't get that curly hair genetically for me, motherfucker. I have curly hair. If you were my kid, you wouldn't need a perm. Maybe get your real mom to pay for it because it's her fault. Oh, that hurts. That was mean. Yeah, it's all right. On this episode? That was me. Hey, Hannah, were you the asshole there?

Who knew we could also be the assholes? We just broke the fourth wall. I do have to say, Um, I've definitely, like, I've heard about some husbands, like, not knowing, like, certain moisturizers or serums are really expensive and they'll just, like, take a ton and throw it on. And sometimes you just have to explain to them. He probably has no idea how much that hair stuff costs. I hate the expensive ones. Because I always, like, you're so afraid to use it that, like, you feel like you haven't even covered your whole face.

Yeah. Then you're like, is it even working? Yeah. I think you tell him, be like, yo, are you using my expensive hair products? And how can we move forward on this? and make sure we're both looking good without you breaking the bank. But you're definitely not the asshole.

You're definitely not the asshole. You know, when you suddenly see your expensive hair product stuff diminishing. And you also, you shouldn't have to hide it from him. That's why I think it's time for some confrontation. But it is hard as the stepmom, I guess, to be like putting your foot down. I know, because I know people, the stepson,

I know one particular situation, the stepson doesn't like their stepmom, But it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, yeah, because it's not like they have a relationship. It's not like, oh, my step, mom's so annoying. It's just like they just, they never warm to the. You don't want that to be the interaction. Yeah. You don't want to add any negativity to the house.

Maybe tell the dad first and be like, do you want to buy him his own? Yeah. I wonder if the dad knows. Then the dad will be like, this would be a good opportunity for you guys to have, have an interaction. Why don't you do a little salon day together? Leave my fucking conditioner alone. You fucking selfish piece of shit. All right, let's go.

This one, as you know, will be right to my heart. This prompt has me fired up. I got another one. Am I the asshole for being from New Jersey? Like, it's not my fault. This is how I speak. Everything I come to say is aggressive. Like, I can be, like, saying something that's great.

And people are like, why are you saying that so aggressively? I'm sorry. I didn't say, I'm sorry I got a passion behind what I'm saying. That's not my fault. My Jersey Italian family. didn't walk me around, being like, they taught, they gave me the best manners, but maybe not the best way of executing what I had to say. I'll say my please and thank you, but will it come across a little sassy?

Maybe. Maybe it will, but that's not my fault. I'm not the asshole. Maybe you are for thinking so negatively of me. Like, how am I the asshole in that situation? Sometimes I'm like, hey, can you please go get that? And they're like, why did you say? I'm like, hey, can you go get that?

like can you go pick that up please like why can't like how come me saying please that way makes it seem like an asshole but when you said it's so funny because when I read it I was like oh my god this is literally me but I think they're putting on the accent what do you think what do you think honestly be honest what do you think I think she's she was it was like a weird jersey accent is that like that close to Philadelphia is that what it is I think maybe and I think she's putting it on a little harder. I think she's putting on a little bit, but like, I, honestly, the heart was there.

Because I, I have a, I have a routine about this, but also I saw, since I started doing that routine, I saw, was it, Michelle, Michelle Budo, was it? There's another comic, a woman that has a routine about, she's from, she's doing the Jersey, I say Queens, but it's similar to this sentiment, which I, I'm with it 100%. It's very difficult because so often people think

I'm being aggressive when I just literally the way that I talk. Yeah, it's funny. She was like, the executor's not always there. Sometimes the tone is off with you sometimes. Yeah, but that's just the queens. And that's just the queen's people know. That's the affect of a queen's sentence. Like when you're with my cousins, the pals of us.

Also, to be heard in your household, you had to speak from the diaphragm. Yeah. And 100%. But the thing is when you're vibing with other people from New York City or New Jersey, that's just even when you're being negative it's also just that's how you connect that's affection like making fun of each other calling people out that's just how you talk I think it's rude when people from the Midwest are like good morning how are you at 6 a.m. when they don't care it's funny I used to have a routine in Ireland about how uh Irish people one of the biggest

complaints I ever had from Irish people about Americans was they'd be like Dez, what's what Americans say and have a nice day? Fuck off. You don't mean it. Yeah, what's with Irish people going, thanks amyl when they just are saying thanks. Thanks. Well, that's just how they say thanks.

It's not thanks a mill. It's just thanks a lot. It's the same thing. I know, but they'd say thanks a mill with like the littlest thing. So I think they're being sarcastic. No, that's just that just rolls off the tongue. But anyway, I couldn't get away from an obsession.

I had in my head one of my cousins. One's just like real New York moment. they were complaining about somebody who wasn't admitting that they had a boob job and she was like, why doesn't she just admit that she had a breast augmentation?

It's like, why are you so passionate about this? But she didn't say boob job. She said breast augmentation. It's funny too because growing up in New York, if I were to like see a bunch of friends and one of the girls be like, hi, how are you?

I'd be like she hates me. Oh, I hate that, though. But if I see my friend and she's like, what the fuck are you wearing? I'd be like, I fucking miss you, bitch. Yeah, but that's the Irish and the New Yorkers have that in common where there's like this kind of, like even funny enough,

so we're watching say nothing. Like, it's about fucking the IRA, but like all their interactions are kind of busting balls. Yeah, if you're not, if you're just, if someone's nice to me, I'm like, they literally hate me. But I love, I love the girl who came on just, that was hilarious. No, she was great.

Whether, I apologize if you weren't fake in the accent, but either way, it was good. I feel like it was a South Jersey. But for honestly, and maybe you're right, but honestly, you're speaking from my soul. Like, I have the same problem. My joke in my show that I do now is that Hannah and I, we have a lot of fights where Hannah thinks we're fighting, whereas I just thought we were talking. Oh, can we take a break and do a quick follow up to last week? Do you know where we say, I want to know more? Yeah.

I should have opened with this, sorry. This is actually not this week's prompt, but just a follow-up from last week. I'm the one who submitted my dad saying that he was married previously on Mother's Day and Des called me a tease and that really hit a nerve. So just wanted to follow up and say that the aftermath was, Hannah was right, my mom did not know he was going to do that. It was just a little surprise he wanted to throw in for some attention. and the aftermath is that we actually

Facebook, we googled her and looked at her Facebook and she's a mediocre gymnastics teacher for her adult son who is trying to go pro in gymnastics somewhere in North Dakota, which is interesting but he definitely won in the end with my mom so does that make me the asshole? It's good to know because I was curious.

Full circle. Full circle. And we talked about that a lot and we ended up going... I think we all. can agree the dad was the asshole obviously there's no like right time to do that yeah so it's hard for him but

the way she said it like sounds like he wanted to make it about him yes which you know well I was happy to know because you know I like the follow-ups you don't get a lot of them I love the follow-ups a lot of times we have questions also I love that like it wasn't just like a random woman there was like lore behind her

and there's a whole gymnastics North Dakota competition that we're unaware of yeah I'm glad that I saw it too because sometimes these things you know like there was a chance i wouldn't have seen it all right this is controversial this one is like hmm hi hannah hi daz love you guys so much long time giggler here you guys also giggly squad needs to come to utah for your next tour but we can talk about that later my am i the asshole is am i the asshole for telling my salon owner that my co-worker brought their very sick child to work. My co-worker's kid had hand foot and mouth syndrome, which is very contagious to both

kids and adults. Brought them to work, put them on our front couch, which is where everyone sits. Everybody walks in, and I told my salon owner because I thought it was wrong, and my coworker told me I was mom-shaming her because I told her that she shouldn't bring her very sick child to work, which I'm not a mom, so I don't know. Am I a mom-shaming? I wasn't trying to, but I just thought, it was very wrong to bring a very highly contagious sick kid to a place where we are very close with other people. So I don't know. Am I the asshole? Okay. A couple things. Okay.

One, no one knows this because it just happened yesterday. Gigley Squad will be coming to Salt Lake City. Wow. We added it. So keep an eye out. Don't tell anyone. Okay. Because we're going to announce it soon.

Second of all, I don't think mom shaming's the word because, like, clearly she's, She's trying to be the best mom possible, and she probably couldn't find another place for the kid to go. Hopefully, she tried every option. Also, not to make this about me, but that syndrome, I think it's called Coxsacky Virus, and I had it my senior year, and it was the most horrible two, three weeks in my life that I was going to die. I got, like, ulcers in my mouth. Wow. And apparently it only happens to little kids, and they were like, we have no idea how you as an 18-year-old. got this unless you were eating poop and I was like you never know what you think it might not be

the same thing because it's contagious no it is contagious yeah oh yeah but anyway with bringing sickness into a salon where everyone's working like it's not cool yeah I mean I'm gonna say that I don't think you're the asshole I think it's weird that you would bring your sick kid to work I mean I get it It's tough I really get it But to say it's mom shaming It's not mom shaming

I think the situation is Hey I feel uncomfortable Because you have a very sick kid here How can we handle this situation I'm not telling you to like Quit your job But like I wonder if

Maybe she could have asked the salon owner But like I'm in a pickle right now And I don't want to cancel my appointments Because I want to make my name want to make money but it's like what does is there anything anyone could do but i'm assuming that she exhausted all her options but if she just was like i'm gonna also she clearly told people so it's not like she was hiding it which is weird yeah um i mean mom shaming that's that's a toughy man she wasn't being a bad mom she was being a bad co-worker yeah yeah oh she definitely

well she definitely wasn't being a bad mom you know she was but you know this is one of these situations but you never want to be like listen it's it's just tough but you're going to have to like give up a day's pay because like it's just sometimes like you just can't i mean in the end i guess nobody got sick and it's not the end of the world but lock the kid in the bathroom hana oh is that bad mom is it am i the asshole again um yeah man i don't think you're the asshole here this is such a tough one though because you don't want to be be like, hey, to the mom, like, tough cookies, but, like, it is a situation where sometimes you just have to eat it, right?

Yeah. You can't bring a kid with a contagious disease to work. I know, but someone needs to take care of the kid. Yeah, I just also wonder how people found out. Like, did she just walk in, like, hey, this kid is super sick. I'm just going to leave him here. No, I'm sure the mom said, I hope everybody's okay with the fact that, like, my kid is sick and I have to, you know.

But, like, here's the thing. if your kid's sick and you can bring them to work right because you know so you're not worried about giving it to your colleagues but you are why can't they go to school

but maybe it was a Saturday this is also one of those situations where like it sucks when you have a kid and I don't know this guy I don't have a kid that's like major life difficult but you don't then have to make it

other people's problem yeah that's the thing you know but I feel bad yeah no I feel bad too but then the fact that she came back with your mom shaming me makes me think that she's probably

a bit of an asshole well it's funny because even the term mom shaming it's kind of like you never like break up with someone like you're not really sure if you should break up with them

and then you break up with them and you see how they act and you're like oh I was fucking right this whole time some of these stories you're like I don't know and then you hear how they reacted

and you're like oh this is this is you yeah like they want the drama yeah so Yeah, like throwing the word mom shaming around is just like using a, yeah, like a generic word that triggers people. Yeah.

Oh, God, there's so much mom shaming on the internet though. Jesus Christ. You can't put anything up. You can't do anything. That's not safe for that child. Or you ever see one with like the dog is in the coffee shop? It's like, that's not hygienic. It's always the top comments.

I posted once like a photo of my grandpa's dog and we were like eating grapes. Like the dog wasn't eating it, but like we were eating grapes. The people lost their mind. They're like, make sure that dog doesn't eat the grape. Yeah, I know. And it's funny because one grape doesn't do shit. People just get so, like, unbelievably uptight about, like, grapes and chocolate.

It's like, yeah, I get it, you know. Hey, here's one. So, like, dark chocolate's really bad for dogs. Milk chocolate is bad, but not as bad. One of our four harns of dogs, I don't know if you recall, we came back and it ate a whole fucking thing of a whole Valentine's chocolate box. I was freaking out. dog was fine but like I was freaking out

anyway well also the thing with animals is at the end of the day you can try your best to be the best parent ever they're still animals and if you're gone they're going to do what they want they're going to do what they want as Seamus Seamus the cat is on the counter I want to do a quick update if you guys recall Seamus showed up a couple months ago on my porch

we rescued him and ate and adopted him and now Seamus is spending Thanksgiving with us and he is the sweetest boy in the world we love him so much. And by the way, you know, when we say we rescued him, you know the way people say, I rescued this dog? It's like, you adopted a dog from a shelter.

But you, this dog, this cat actually showed up at our door. Yeah, and they showed up. Shored up again. With balls. And I got him in the garage. And then the next morning, shout out Jill from Southampton Animal Shelter. Got him. And he's so happy.

They snipped them, and they got them ready pretty quick. And honestly, such a great cat, Aden swooped in. But now the cat is here for Thanksgiving. We love him. By the way, it's a day before Thanksgiving. We don't know when this is going out, but just so you know, day before Thanksgiving. So probably only have time for a couple more because we got a lot of family literally about to arrive. But we wanted to get this done before the festivities.

I think people really liked their last episode about the fighting. Oh, they did? Yeah. Oh, good. I just feel like... We're going sort of two weeks in a row with it. you feel better about your own situation. Oh, this one's going to enrage you.

Oh, I could use it. Hey, Han and Des, love the pod. So this was a couple years ago, but when I think about it, I still sometimes wonder if I was the asshole in the situation. But my ex's sister posted on her Instagram story a little response box, and the prompt was, what is your biggest regret? And all I responded with was continuing to date a guy that cheated on me multiple times. clearly his family did not know why we broke up after years of dating because he

received a very long message from him saying how wrong that was and then he deleted all the photos that he had not yet deleted of us on his feed and um involved me so in the moment I felt kind of like an asshole but looking back I think he deserved it because as said he cheated on me multiple times and he was a bad guy so people needed to know that so yeah anyway love you guys bye a thousand percent he is the asshole I have no patience for people who do something fucked up and then get mad at you if you tell people what they did like it's one thing if you're like I'm not saying like going public on TikTok and being like this guy did all this stuff to me. But like if you tell your friend like, yeah, we broke up because he cheated and he

freaks out at you, don't cheat. Don't fucking cheat then. Yeah, I mean, and first of all, don't even like, don't message one. Like, you've just given a generic thing. Well, also, this is classic, like, it ends and he wants his story in his head to be like, yeah, like, it didn't work out, but like we're good instead of it's like, yeah, you ruined the relationship. So then her, him using the one little part of her that was a little, you know, spicy, being like, oh, I'm the victim, you are actually the asshole. And I'm blocking you because you're so horrible when it's like, oh, this is a response to your abuse.

Okay, let me ask a follow on question. In hindsight, you're not the asshole, but in hindsight, would you think for your own peace of mind that like it's not it's not worth the hassle because obviously you know you're stirring you know what i think but i think i've no problem with the stirrup i think there was a side to her because i've done this before too where like you can't help but sometimes say the truth because you want it to come out and you felt like you were protecting him when he didn't deserve it and she's like she told the world she just basically like was like why am i as they would say about wicked Why am I holding space for this man to protect him and his, whatever?

So her saying that to the, I think it was a little therapeutic for her. But I do have to say, sometimes I've had post-breakups where it goes to shit. And you're like, damn, I wish it could have been like nicer. Sometimes it's better for them to really be out of your life. Actually, can I just say it's almost like he cheated one more time by not being honest with people why they broke up. It's almost like he cheated again. The dishonesty continued. So you know what?

That's what I think she did it. I think she was continually felt, yeah, just wronged by him. And like she was still hiding his secrets for him, just like he hid his secrets from her. And I think him being really mad at you is so nice because now you have such a clean slate where you never have to deal with him looking at your stories, him messaging you, him being in your life at all.

Block. Thank you. Also, guys who block girls. Guys who block girls, who block boys, who block girls. Hannah's mom has distracted us by letting us know that she's making beds or something. I thought she was pretending to be a ghost. She was holding a sheet. All right, let's do one or two more. Oh, yeah, let's go.

Wait, oh yeah, this was going to say, if a guy blocks you, that means you did good. this main character energy. Hey Hannah, hey Dez. I'm like the asshole for telling my friend that I hated the guy she was hooking up with. Basically, my friend was hooking up with the guy who I hated because he was really an asshole and mean to one of our other mutual friends. And it was well known that I disliked him. And at the time, my friend and I were living together.

and I basically set a boundary like I don't really want to see this guy you're hooking up with at home like in my space or our shared space so yeah and to her credit she never had him like I never saw him in that house like he was there while I was there but I never saw him but anyways she kind of had some resentment toward me for being so open about my dislike of him ran out of time but i want to know are they still together it sounded like she said she was hooking up with so it sounds like they're not anymore but i'm not sure this is a toughie i do have to say if a guy like that my friend is seeing does something specifically to me I have the right to be like

I don't like him Did he do something specific to her? He did it to one of the friends Oh to the friend That's right, that's right So it's like she is And like she's justified Like clearly he sucks

If he's gonna do it with the friend It could do it to you But it's one of those things We're like unless it's he attacked me It's not I don't need to fight that war But I will be like Yeah I don't think that's cool

What he did But I'm not gonna go out of my way To like get the school to break up with him How do you feel about the in the house boundary I like that she has boundaries I personally wouldn't have had I don't have that many boundaries unless if it's a dude who like

came for me yeah I haven't I haven't had the exact same situation but I had a situation where I had to put some boundaries down with the living arrangement with you know somebody that was staying who basically was like kind of living

there without consultation and it can be tough you know because on one level you feel like well you can't you don't want to control how somebody lives their life but you do have a right to set a boundary but it's just where is the line it's complicated yeah I mean I early on I had a boyfriend when I first moved in with Dave and Corey and they were like we don't want you to live here if you're gonna if the guys can be basically living with you yeah and they set that president and like I shortly after broke up with him yeah it never was a thing But then, like, they're bringing girls over all the time. One night stands are fine in this house.

Yeah, literally. They were like, strangers are fine. Bring strangers back. You know, we don't know where they've been, where they're going. I like that this girl had boundaries. But I also, there's sometimes, like, sometimes the more I will vocalize that I don't like a guy, the more my friend will stay with a guy. So I found that, like, I don't get involved.

You can just tell that I'm not like, oh, I'm so excited. coming, like, I'll just be more, like, quiet about it. Yeah. But, like, people going back to the bedroom, it's fine. Like, it's always tough, like, with the shared space when you've been people over. Yeah. Unless everybody's in unison harmony. Yeah. I mean, part of it is, like, she's telling this girl, I don't like to see him, hoping it annoys the girl, hoping the girl says, okay, my life, this is annoying right now.

Do I need this guy in my life who's causing issues with my friends? Yes. I think that was her overarching goal and to protect her peace. Um, my thing is just like, I don't know if I would have had the balls in my friendships to like put the foot down, but this girl, I think she's a CEO. You think she's a CEO? Yeah. All right.

Let's do the final one. Okay. 60 seconds. Let's go. About two years ago, I lived with these two girls and, you know, when you live with people for a long time, you have your problems, but you can. usually sorted out. Well, me and the main girl that her parents owned the house, we had problems every now and again. And I'm an Italian and I'm fairly vocal. And so I'm hoping you guys can

justify this. But one time we were having serious problems, I go to our other roommate and I'm pretty much very verbal in the sense of like, oh my God, I fucking hate this bitch. I want to fucking kill her. I could strangle her. But like, I can't help it. It's just my verbage. And then two days later, her dad called me and told me I have to leave because I'm threatening her daughter. So I've been feeling like an ax murderer for two years. Okay. You're not an axe murderer. This sounds like one of those situations where you both clearly hated each other and the girl probably wanted you out and she finally had enough of an excuse and used it.

It's like when you get fired from a job Like you didn't actually do anything that bad But they'll find something And they'll act like it's more than it is You're not an axe murderer That's just called gossiping Yeah exactly And the fucking rat friend

Rat friend You know I'd like to turn that To have the dad calls like You're threatening my daughter Second hand Yeah also to have the dad come in Like why you bring your dad Are you 14?

Yeah what are you fucking TSA It's like no we don't joke like that here Like fuck off How many times are you joked in TSA. Once. You joked about a bomb. Yeah.

Many, many, I was young, though. What did you say? He was a teenager. The usual, like, I was a teenager. I was, like, on my way back to Ireland. And I was like, oh, you know, there's a bomb in there, whatever in there, okay? Just so you know you can't joke, can't joke here. Do you know, because we have to complain about the airport every episode, I got a little,

a little talking to at the TSA line. Really? Because I was in LaGuardia, and I'm going to say it. There's two lines. one is the normal just like with baggage it goes right through and then there's that system with this algorithm that is so fucking slow and I never go in that line. The tray side.

Yeah. So then I go on the normal line and they make me go in the other line. So I'm already pissed. And when you're the first one, it seems like forever you push it and it takes forever. And the algorithm is not right. Like I was like literally counting. So the first one took forever.

My second one I'm watching and it just, everyone next to me is going and I'm standing there and I've been here for five minutes and it was wrong like it wasn't fair how it was working so I finally I'm just like I think mine might be stuck which is you know me just being like what's going on and she looks at me and she goes patience is a virtue oh it was just like period but see that's passive aggressive what I said no what she said oh no she she also that's passive aggressive some woman behind her was asking a question and she was like oh they love it I love the loud complaining about the woman like already and I was like oh my gosh so that's why I was like I'll jump in to make this more exciting but of course the second I asked my thing went through and she was like patience is a virtue and I was like I'll

fight you right now yeah but that's airports can do that but that's passive aggressive patience is not a virtue in an airport like I'm here for 10 minutes we have to move through I know it's not her fault but you could at least look at me and be like I know the system sucks yeah the system's annoying like the system's wrong I was literally counting. People who were behind me in line are all are done,

but because I stood in that first spot, I have to wait for everyone's to go past me. You know, honestly, I feel like these little injustices in life don't get enough air time. And that's what this podcast is for. There's a lot of suffering in the world, but the extra few minutes on that fucking TSA line.

Holy fuck. Yeah, this is not brought up enough. I do have to say, though, back to this girl, this sounds like one of those blessings where a friend's a rat. You don't hear in your life. The other ones, clearly you don't have. don't want in your life and it sucks to have to move but like the parents calling you say you're

threatening my daughter get the fuck out of here get the fuck out of here you're fucking nepo baby fucking dad's paying your rent you're living in your dad's a part man you don't want that power dynamic you go crush it get your own place yeah we love you um guys thank you so much for listening to burner phone all your callings those were fucking great a few plugs a few plugs yeah Oh, yeah. Well, I'm in Vancouver in Seattle next week. Thursday, December 5th in Vancouver. First show sold out. Some tickets left for the late show. Seattle, Friday, Saturday. Early shows are sold out. Gillesquette coming up in Connecticut and Cleveland, Ohio. And I have some dates in Irvine, Maryland, and somewhere else. Check it. And then Boston, between Christmas and New Year's. You have?

Yeah. The weekend in between Christmas and New Year's. and laugh Boston Nice I hate when we have moments Where you didn't know some information About our life Like you didn't know that there I feel embarrassed

Yeah you know But I did say it before On this pod Sorry I don't I always start texting when you start Commodding your shows I feel like there's other things Oh vote for Sheneid Gibney

If you have If you live in the Dublin Rathdown constituency In Ireland and loads of shows go on all our websites for all our shows. Thanks, guys. You guys are the best. Tarrah.