Berner Phone #79: This Should Be Illegal
00:00Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop.Thanks for calling the burner phone.If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast.Hello, little dialers. It's Des again. And yes, I'm on my own. And I'm aware. I know. I can feel your disappointment.Trust me. I'm just as disappointed as you. I myself have self-esteem.team issues. I don't feel like I'm enough to keep you guys happy. But I promise you that Hannah will beback next week and I'll do my best. Right. And of course, you guys are carrying the load becausethere was a great prompt that came in from a dialer that we went for this week, which Hannah and I
00:51both chose, by the way, which was something that's not illegal that should be. And the responses wereincredible. Honestly, they were so incredible that when Hannah comes back next week, I think we'llstill be talking about this topic. And you came through big time. And to whoever the serialmessenger was, I got the message. So this episode is going to be doubly annoying for youbecause somebody kept messaging in, men should be illegal but aren't. Like at least 10 times.and that was quite a commitment to your joke, and it has been received.So I apologize that I am illegally doing this on my own, according to your rule.So I'm sorry, but here we are.
01:39And I think we've established enough of a family relationship that we will get through this together.And listen, it's such a great topic.Let me bring you guys in straight away.You don't need to be listening to me, okay?and I thought this one was great.Hey, Hannah, and does something that should be illegal but isn't is when you like hook up with a guyand then you're cuddling after and he's giving you forehead kisses and he's telling youabout your future together, blah, blah, blah, and then you never fucking hear from him again.
02:13There's a special place in hell for a man who gives you a forehead kiss and then never speaks to youagain. I thought that was incredible. Obviously, ghosting is a, ghosting is a commonly discussedtopic. Okay. So it wasn't that I thought the topic of ghosting was particularly novel. But theimagery of the forehead kiss and then ghosting, that is sinister. That is sinister. And listen,I'm sure all of us out there, men and women, have all been guilty of perhaps getting cold feeton an expression of feeling that, you know, perhaps was, you know, over-exaggerated because youwere caught up in the moment. But the forehead kiss. I mean, what a beautiful, what abeautiful representation of the downside of ghosting, the mixed messaging. The forehead
03:14kiss, it's too tender, isn't it? It's too reassuring.it's almost as if they're saying you never need to be scared again i've got you and then you never see themagain i mean if you were somebody who had abandonment issues and you were forehead kissed and thenghosted what kind of PTSD traumatic response would one have to something like that so i agree let's putit down on the list that you cannot forehead kiss until you're 100% committed. Becauseobviously, these rules have changed over the years. You know, we've gone through various,you know, things, you know, the sex in the city years of how many dates before yousleep with somebody and, you know, relationship and sex podcast talking about what's acceptable
04:14behavior and, you know, different things that you can and can't do. I mean, look, we don'thave, we don't have real consensus, but there has definitely been an evolution of acceptabledating etiquette. But I've never heard specifically the forehead kiss and when it is allowedneeds to be legislated for. In the court of love, it needs a ruling. We need to, even though I knowthat society is starting to ignore the powers of the courts.I think the Court of Loveis a higher authority than the Supreme Courtand it needs to be legislated against
04:58that a forehead kiss requires minimumone month commitment and presence post forehead kissand if you do not follow through on your dutiesif you relinquish your responsibility within the said 30 daysyou are a criminal to love and you should have to wear like a like a t-shirt that saysI am quarantined from human interaction for minimum of six months and the apps should be able toban you you know you should be on the the goster list so a great messageEasy on the forehead kissing guys, you know?
05:49It's just, isn't it funny how something that's really, in essence,so much less intimate than perhaps whatever went down that night,just gives the impression of a deeper intimacy.Great message.That's why I love the dialer so much because they're so articulate.And, you know, in a, you know, do these skipwriting courses and they say,show, don't tell.If ever there was a more, just a more powerful image of showing and not telling.
06:21Now, I'm aware that you told me, but you emitted an image in my mind.You conjured a pain through the action that was just so much better than just talking about the pain.So I'm with you, 100%.So let's take it now to something.And listen, a lot of these are kind of like, people.thieves, but, you know, okay, can I do this?This always comes up, but I have a specific reason to bring it up, and it's cultural.Hi, Hernandez.
06:57Love, love, love the podcast, but something that should be illegal and isn't is people who chew with their mouth open.Like, hello, I didn't ask for a live ASMR.If I wanted that, I would have just gone on YouTube.Okay, bye.Okay, so I know, guys, listen, don't turn off.stay tuned stay tuned in i know i always bring this up you know and uh it's not fair that this is justsuch an anti-mouth noise podcast but i i tell you why i left it in he's not here at the moment buti have a chinese friend uh who came and visited me in ireland from china um and he's staying for a month
07:37which actually we didn't discuss but that's a separate issue which is totally fine because i getto practice my chinese with him every day but if anyone's lived in chinayou will know that they definitely have a very different etiquette when it comes to mouth noises.And it's really not as frowned upon over there.And I think maybe genetically the Chinese are not as inclined to have misophonia.So there's a lot of loud chewing there in general.But there's something that's acceptable there, which I really struggled with,and that is slurping noodles.
08:15It is the way that they eat noodles, right?And I, you know, I, I don't want this to, this isn't a Chinese love podcast, okay?But I am afraid that I will, will sacrifice any goodwill with the Chinese.I'm willing to throw that out there to say that the slurping is too much.It's too much.and if there's any Chinese people listeningI'd be curious to know what theAmerican-born Chinese perhaps
08:46you know Chinese thatgrew up in the States but maybe their parentsor their grandparents or their cousins would visit fromChinaand they would hearthe slurpingI want to knowhow they deal with it because
09:02yesterday my friend who shall notbe named was in the kitchenI was in the living roomno it's not a big house I have here in DublinbutI was in the living room, and he was in the kitchen, and it was unbearable, even from another room, unbearable.But I'm not an asshole.I wasn't going to be like, oh, yo, easy on the way that you've eaten noodles your entire life.
09:28Okay?I'm not here to tell one of the great civilizations, one of the, one of the, you know, just a completely unique Eastern history with its own heroes and villains.You know, each one of them with a tiny sliver of DNA from Genghis Khan,a villain that we don't even really factor into our own European history,even though actually Eastern Europe was also affected by the reign of Genghis Khan and the Mongols.Who am I to tell this incredibly evolved culture that their noodle eating is incorrect?But I'm telling you that I can't bear it, you know, and I am no Republican.And I am no man for any sort of cultural didactism about how people should act when they come to the country.
10:19I can't stand when the Magas tell Spanish people that they should be speaking English as if English is actually the national language of the country, which it is not.There's plenty of Spanish speakers and I say speak Spanish if you want.But I am afraid that I lose all my open-mindedness around other cultures when it comes to noodle slurping.I apologize to anyone who is offended by this, but it's unbearable.So to my brothers and sisters who think that chewing with your mouth up and it's okay,keep your mastication to yourself.And I'm happy to have my friends staying here,but he is also a mouth open chewer.
11:03And this morning, I had, he cooks everything.He's a big cooker.I'm not.So this kitchen is getting more used than normal.So he made eggs, which was fine.But then he decided to have raw carrots and celery with his eggs.And then for the first time, because I was eating in the living room, just in general.But for the first time this morning, he decides to eat his breakfast next to me in the sitting room.
11:36I was only having my coffee.I was getting the appetite going.I hadn't even had my first coffee.and I hadn't eaten anything yet.So you think I was in peak tolerance mode?No.It was not in peak tolerance mode,not by any stretch of the imagination.
11:50And this, he comes inand he starts fucking crunching on raw carrots and celery,mouth open, next to me.Jesus Christ, I nearly called the Chinese embassy.I nearly, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I didn'tdiplomatic incident here in Ireland.I didn't know what to do.It was unbearable.
12:12But listen, I didn't say anything, you know,I'm not going to be an A-hole.Or as the Chinese, you'd say,I'm not going to be a shabby.So I didn't say anything.I just tried to work on my tolerance skills.I save that out, you know, speaking about it.I save it for people you're related to,
12:35which, by the way, when they do studies of misophonia,your relationship to the person can actually affect how much it annoys you,which shows that misophonia is a complicated condition.So anyway, that's the only reason I left it inis because I'm dealing with the current situation.And, you know, there's a lot of stuff I could talk aboutabout when somebody's visiting from Asia and they're cooking in the kitchen.But I'm not going to get into it because it would start to sound like anti-Chinese,
13:12which is I am the opposite of that.What I just have a couple of issues.You know, one is the loudness of the mouth.And let's face it, another is the fragrance that comes from the cooking,which at times can be overwhelming when you're not used to it.This is the great comedian, David O'Dardy, Irish comedian.you should look them up, said many, many years ago in the early part of our career,joking about the blandness of Irish cuisine.
13:39He said, in Ireland where parsley is a spice, you know,so when you're used to a, perhaps a more gentle fragrance from the Irish cooking,the most offensive fragrance you're going to get from Irish cookingis the smell of boiling cabbage, which I will admit is somewhat offensive.But it's going to be not that common,and it's going to be not that, not that hard to deal with.But yes, there can be a strong fragrance from the Chinese cooking,which, you know, I can deal with.
14:10But sometimes when it's like first thing in the morning,which I really struggled with when I was living in China too, you know?They, the, I lived in a house and the grandmother would, like, bring me breakfast.But breakfast would be like full on, like Chinese dumplings,which, like, at 6 p.m., I would be, like, devouring.But, like, first thing in the morning, like,I can't do the chives, the Chinese chives, if anyone's ever, it knows what I'm talking about.The Chinese chives and like really garlicky, you know, dumplings.
14:40And they're like, oh, this is, this is breakfast.I'm like, oh, my God, I can't handle it.But, you know, that was all just the very few things that I struggled with why I was in China.And I've gone on about this way too long.And, you know, I record this whole episode with a paranoia that you guys are justnot happy, it's only me. So I apologize that that's in me, uh, with every breath that I takeinto this mic on my own. Okay. Let's, uh, oh, this is one person, this, this one I care about.Hello, Hannah and guys, one thing that I think should be illegal, but is not, is parallel parking
15:23too far away from the car in front of you. I parallel park on the street all the time infront of my apartment. We have a garage, but I don't fuck with that, honestly. It's just easierto parallel parks, except these bitches always be living way too much space, and then all of thestreet parking is taken up, and there's nowhere I can park, even though if people would justpull up a little bit, I could fit, and there could be like five more cars right in front ofmy building. So that should be illegal. Thanks. Bye. Amen, sister. Amen. Now,I mean, you know, this is, we have infinitely more female listeners to this podcast.So the only thing I'm going to contest is that you seemed to be suggesting that it's women that are doing this, which I'm going to, I'm not going to accept that, right?
16:16And by the way, I must, you did, you said bitches, right, which I, I think it's a safe assumption that you're, you're throwing in a little bit of an assumption that it's women that are doing this.But I'm going to contest that part, but I am going to 100% accept all the rest of it,which is this should be illegal and isn't the space between cars.Now, in New York City, I have a car.I know this is a severe indulgence, and I'm very aware of that.But before I had a parking spot, I had a car.I'm a kid from Queens.Unfortunately, I'm wounded from a childhood of thinking that, like, you drive.
16:59into the city, that's what you do. And I knowthat that's bad, but what can I do? It's in me, okay?It's in me. So,I, I'm used to having a car and I didthe alternate side of the street thing for manyyears. And you're so desperate, like a gameof Tetris, you're like, who the fuckput this L-shaped Tetris piece
17:23in that position?You know, you just, you just wish that carswe're allowed to just be like inched up in the absence of their owner because there's clearlyat least often at least one more spot and you know that sometimes it's nobody's fault becauseanother car is pulled out and then a smaller car has taken that spot so listen you can't assumethat it's 100% been a selfish act but often it is because what are they thinking they're thinkingoh it'll be easier to get out so i'll leave space you knowwith the car in front, which will guarantee me space when I get out.
18:03And that is unacceptable.That is illegal, that is legal, but should be illegal.The 100% the essence of this prompt.There's just a lot of parking etiquette that drives me insane.You know, it should definitely be illegal to park over the line in a parking spot,you know, in a parking lot, 100% illegal.And it should be, it should be.a federal crime it should you know what it should be minimum 10 years in prison if it's a range rover
18:37you know some like it when i see a range rover over the line i know they're thinking well what cani do the car's so huge it's like well number one you could not buy a fucking tank that'sunnecessary for your fucking three soccer players your three fucking shitty soccer players in theback, right?Sorry,am I getting too angry?Is the absence of Hannahcausing me to become
19:03a raving lunatic?Jesus.But you know what I mean.When I see that, because sometimes,listen, in Ireland,the spots are too small,so that's a whole other issue.But in America, they're humongous.
19:18When I'm back in the States,I can't believe the size of the parking spots.And if I see like a range,you know, what are these in,like obnoxiously wide cars,unnecessary.And I get a, by the way,I've driven a range rover.
19:31They're amazing.I'm not saying that range rovers aren't amazing.I'm just saying they're unnecessary,especially for the majority of people who buy them.You know?Like it's a fucking,it's a suburban tank in a world where you don't need it.You don't need range rovers or guns,
19:48but this is not a political podcast.But anyway,when somebody's over the line,it's just, I'm not going to key their car.But have I thought about it?You're damn right I did.You're damn right I did.I thought about it.
20:06I've thought about it many times.You know, listen, if we were responsiblefor all the violent thoughts that go on in our heads,we'd all be at jail.Well, I have pondered vandalismon numerous small level irritations.I'm just going to come clean, right?here. Okay. I have pondered vandalism on so many times in a situation that doesn't require
20:30the level of anger that it has induced in me. But parking over the line and not parking closeenough as this wonderful dialer has messaged in is up there. So great prompt. Don't beafraid to message back what you think. But so far, guys, just incredible contributions from thedialers. I'm going to go back to the board here. Oh, this is, this one is, uh, I think this is a bigissue. And this is one that's, this is a discussion. Okay. So here we go. Hi guys. Um,big fan from Canada. One thing that I think should be illegal, but isn't is, I feel like I'm thinkingspecifically in bars and those sort of establishments, but kind of everywhere, just filming and takingvideos in general um i feel like every time i'm out with my friends if somebody kind of has an
21:26important job i mean i'm a bartender so i don't give a fuck but i have friends who are teachersyou just run the risk of doing shots on a night when you have to work the next day and you'rein the background of some kids video and it's going to get posted on the internet and i feel like thatjust feels so illegal like i feel like you're entitled to your privacy on a night out or really doinganything but at any given chanceyou can be caught on filmdoing things and it can be usedagainst you. It's giving
21:57illegal. Okay, maybe that is illegal.I don't think it is though, but yeah.It's not illegaland it absolutely should be.I am 100% inagreeance with you. Of course I always feel likeCanadians just havea touch more
22:14sense of civic responsibilityand this is not a slight on American.I'm including myself in the American zone, but I don't know.There is just, I feel, maybe on a scale of one to ten,at least one or two numbers higher on the scale of community and civic responsibility.But anyway, I've always had a big problem with the ability to film people in public without their consent.And it's not just these assholes on TikTok and YouTube that do this whole like,this is my right, I can film things.
22:50They're just like antagonists.But the fact that you can kind of destroy somebody's life by filming them.And obviously, sometimes people are doing fucked up shit.But even still, I don't know, man.Like, I just think, so here's my example.When I made the Desbishop Work Experience,which was the first major television series that I made in Ireland,filming back in 2003,
23:14it was a documentary about living on minimum wage.And I worked four different minimum wage.jobs for a month at a time. So four months altogether. But the first episode was in acabab shop in Waterford called Aber Cababra. Coincidentally enough, literally doing a show in Waterfordtonight. So that episode focused a lot on how disrespectful, particularly drunk customers wereto low-wage staff at a kebab shop whose main business was basically after the pub and after thenightclub kind of you know like a drunken snack before heading home and we filmed a lot of terriblebehavior but every single person that was on camera signed a consent form they signed a release form
24:01RTE the Irish broadcaster would absolutely 100% not allow anyone to be used that hadn't signeda consent form and then RTE upon edit you know after the edit they decidedthat even with consent, that people that were drunk could not give proper consent,so we blurred out their faces.So nobody's sort of dubious behavior was able to be identified, right?And I was, of course, I didn't want to blur out people's faces,but I was fine with it because should we, because first of all, what they were doing wasn'tillegal.
24:41This is part of it, you know.It's like, well, people are like, well, they shouldn't act like an asshole.but like it's actually not illegal to be an asshole but these days on the internet you could receivethe full letter of the law of public opinion which can be quite damaging by the way sometimesmore damaging than the actual law for real crimes you could do stuff that's infinitely worseand receive less of an actual effect to your life than doing something that's not illegalbut it's clearly in the asshole spectrumand goes viral online, right?
25:16You lose your job, you lose your friendships,you experience public humiliation,whereas somebody could be caught for theftand get a suspended sentence, you know?Now, look, we could argue all dayabout just varying levels of crime.And again, I understand that there's so muchabout these conversations that are complicated,
25:35but I do just feel that you, you know,you shouldn't have to live your life under the fearof a public humiliationof being filmed without consent.And this is by no stretchdefending the behaviorof some of these thingsthat have gone viral over the years.
25:53I mean, Hannah's mentioned it beforeand I know I've mentioned it,but John Ronson wrote the great bookSo You've Been Publicly Shamed.And that was very much in the early daysof lives being destroyed by virality,but the central premiseof the book still holds the same for me,
26:09which is that actuallythe justice sort of doled out by the mobcan actually be much crueler than the legal systemand without any nuance often, you know,because these things are taken out of context.And, you know, I just feel that it's very unfair.And I feel that for the amount that technology has changed in societyand the amount that, you know, video basically
26:35has changed people's lives,I find it shocking that we still haven't legislated against filming people without consent.Considering that broadcast television has always had, so what I don't understand is, okay, this is my more serious point.Broadcast TV, certainly in Ireland.I can't speak for the American legislation because I actually don't know.I didn't make those types of, you know, documentaries where you're filming people in public.But broadcast television generally has had rigid criteria on filming.people without consent. Why is it then that now the rest of broadcast media, which is the
27:14internet, which is infinitely more powerful than broadcast television now, why do they haveno law? I mean, this is, God, I could, we could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, II could bore you to tears now about how much the lack of legislation around internet broadcastingis causing severe harm to society. And this is both sides of the political divide. Like, it's insanethat for all of the time where we saw the power of radio and television,for all the time that we saw the power of thatand knew that it needed to be legislated against,not censored, okay, just had standards, right?
27:54Just had regulation, right?For all the time in history where we saw the need for regulation,how we were moving away from any regulation at allagainst this incredibly powerful medium is bonkers to me.So the fact that you can film people without consentis literally just the tip of the icebergon how fucking dangerous this whole thing is, all right?But I just think it's unfair for somebody to have...
28:24So let's just use the, I think, the fairer exampleof if you're a teacherand there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a night outand maybe going a bit crazy and doing shotsor like dancing on the baror just doing shit that you should be able to doif you're like a 28 year old womanor a 28 year old man
28:43being silly on a night outand somebody's filmingand then the students see thatand then you're suddenly in trouble in schoolbeing like this is irresponsible behavior.You know, like that's not cool.I really do think that.So great, I think it should be illegal.
29:01I've thought this for quite a long time.you know i actually think that i don't know if you guys ever if you guys ever come across thesevideos where what do they call themselves auditors you know these auditors about their rightsand they go and they antagonize people about some bullshit which you know like on paper istheir right right because there's no legislation against filming so on paper it's their right butit's clearly harassment they're trying to antagonize people for reaction so they can get views sothey're allowed to antagonize for their own financial benefit or whatever for their own ego benefit,their own benefit of getting hits and clicks and views. They're allowed to antagonize, right? But the
29:43other person is not allowed to retaliate because right now there's no legislation suggestingthat putting a camera in somebody's face is fucking harassment. There's laws about harassment,but there's no clear legislation which says chuck in a camera in somebody's face trying toelicit a response is not harassment and that they don't have the right after the fact to sayyou don't have the right to publish this like i just think that's crazy i just think the rightsare way too much in the hands of the camera holder you know so i'm with you 100% um and theseauditor guys i mean they should just there's a there's a special place in internet health for themas far as i concerned drives me fucking insane you know
30:28And so many people just love drama.They fucking love drama.Like how many times have you seen the situations on the internetwhere you're like, okay, I get it.You know your rights.But like you know how easy it would be to just show your fucking license and move on.And this, again, I'm not getting into, this is not civil liberty shit.This is just the people that have the camera on because they want this video.
30:53And it's like, listen, the guy just wants to fucking see your ID.Show your fucking ID.and get on your way.But you want the video.I get it.So it's so complicated.And it's so annoying.And like everything, fueled by fucking people.
31:10You know, it's so irritating.You get wound up.And that's why it gets views.And that's literally like outrage is the fucking currencyof modern entertainment.And it's such a fucking pity, man.It's such a pity that we've descended into this mess.But hey, guys, I have severe anxiety
31:26about the state of the world.I don't want to put it on to you guys.So let's bring it back into the present,lighthearted things that should be illegal, but aren't, okay?Oh, guys, I want to talk to you about hero bread.And actually, it's the rare time where I speak longingly of hero breadbecause I'm on a strict diet since New Year's,but I'm in Ireland and I haven't had access to my hero bread.
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36:13I'm getting too deep, man.This is what happens when we're not with Hannah.You know?All right, let's get one that we can all agree with.Hey, Hannah and Dad.big fan of the podcast and you guys something that should be illegal that isn't is playing videoson your phone out loud in a public place I was just on a plane and someone behind me was justblasting TikTok and you know there are some annoying sounds on there just full volume like
36:47I don't know if this guy was deaf or what but the flight attendant finally came over andsaid something and he only turned it down halfway.I don't know.Buy some earphones.I think that just has to be a law.It's so obnoxious and rude.Okay, thanks.Bye.
37:03Can I get another amen?Can I get 10 amens on this?Is there anybody that's listening to this that's disagreeing with this?Like,it's rudeness beyond the rudeness calculation spectrum.It's off the charts.I get you know it almost turns me into like a like an angry old manI'd be like it's the way they were raised they were raised incorrectly
37:30how can you think that this is acceptable to turn on your phone in publicit drives me insane it really does you know like I can understand you knowit doesn't drive me as insane you know the way like young boysit became a thing to like walk around with your Bluetooth speakerbut that's just passing by it's the same as having yourwindow open in the car. That I can, that I can handle, but to watching a video on your phoneor obviously, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that'sBecause somebody's fucking watching video with DeValium on.
38:18So there's somebody out there listening that thinks that's okay, right?And if you are listening and you think it's okay, it's not, all right?And maybe you didn't know, and ignorance is bliss, but now you know.So if you willfully continue to do it, you're an asshole.All right?So we've established that.You know, because you can't not listen.It's so annoying.
38:39And because obviously the sound is annoying.The sound is irritating.but it's doubly irritating because it's the selfishness.So you're not just annoyed at the sound.You're annoyed that the selfishness exists in this world.Right?So you're not just having like a misophonic response.Because in many ways, it's kind of misophonia, right?
38:59Like the sound of somebody else's phone,it's fucking irritating beyond what it should be.But number two, you're having an existential crisisbecause you don't understand how humanity has fallen so farthat people don't realize how fucking ignorant this is.Now, I actually did a video once,which ended up doing way more views than I expectedbecause it was just like a lighthearted joke
39:21about even some people,they do the headphone conversation.So it's not even on speakerphone.It's common at airports,but particularly in airport lounges,and fucking draws me insane.The pacer, normally a tech bro,on the fucking business call.
39:36And they got the headphones on and they're pacing, right?Even though they're not in a public space,but they think it's okay to pace.and they're talking so fucking loudly about their dumb deal.And they're completely lost in it so much so that they're not aware of anybody else.They're doing their dumb deal.So I'm trying to do whatever I'm doing in a public space,quietly, minding my own business, right?
39:58Even talking on the phone, but I'm talking quietly.Because the other person doesn't need you to be loud.They can hear you, right?But when you have those fucking AirPods in,which automatically make you look like a fucking douche, right?Not when you're walking around on your own.When you're walking around your own, listen to your AirPods.I don't think you look like a douche.
40:17But the minute you're talking on your AirPods, you look like a douche.And maybe some people are going to argue with me about that.And that's fine, you know.And maybe I'm just a, you know, a middle Gen X fucking relic from the pastthat hasn't accepted the normality of having conversations on AirPods.But I just think it looks fucking stupid, you know.and even if I was on AirPods having a conversationI would be doing it like in my chair
40:44like quietlylike as if I'm almost ashamedthat this is even something that you could do with modern technologybut without even getting into making it personal to mewhen you're sitting there trying to do your own thingbut all you can hear is some assholes fuckingprobably business meeting that he's onit's like yo bro we all got jobs
41:04you know but I'm not fucking connected to your jobso how come I can't concentrate on my jobjob because you're fucking blasting your fucking info all over the lounge.You know?So actually what I said on the video was I said United States volume because I actuallythink that it's a bigger problem in the states.It's like a cultural difference that Americans are not as aware of the sort of distancethat their voice can travel.
41:35And by the way, I'm not trying to offend.The majority of our listeners are American and I'm American, okay?But I lived a lot of my life abroad, and what I learned was that in most other parts of the, well, China is a whole other story.We're not going to get into it. Personal space is just a whole different thing in China.So let's not bring the Chinese back into it. We started strong on them.As I said in breaking China, the only place you can find personal space in China is in your head.Because there's just a lot of people. Right. But anyway, let's say in, let's just talk about,Western Europe and the United States
42:13and North Americait's just louder thereI remember I was out to dinner oncelunch actually in an outdoor seatingin the Lower East Sideactually I went to the Russian Turkic batswith a friend and thenwe went for for some lunch nearby
42:33in the East Village but he was Irishandthe table next the tablejust behind him, I could see them, but he couldn't see them, but they were so fuckingloud. And he literally said to me, he's like, fucking Americans are so loud in public spaces.And like, it's a thing, you know? And again, it goes back to a point I made earlier that I thinkmaybe Canadians are like a touch more aware of like civic responsibility. Like, I get it. I lovethe individualism. I love it, you know. I'm a capitalist. I 100% appreciate the freedom of free
43:09enterprise, you know, and I'm a patriotic American, but I do think that it's okay to care about yourneighbor, to care about your fellow citizens enough to realize I don't need to bombard them withmy conversation, you know, I don't need everyone else to raise their voice because they have tocompete with the level that we're talking at, you know? So if you're on speakerphone in a publicspace, you're breaking the law, all right? You're breaking civic law. If you're watching a video,you're breaking the law. You're an asshole, right? But nobody wants to say anything because they don'twant, you don't want confrontation, you know, and I've never been great at that. You know,I'm not, I don't have that Karen soul. And, you know, as much as I, I love a Karen fucking,
44:02probably a non-consensual Karen video, literally the hypocrisy that just came out of my mouth.Hippocrat right there, calling myself out there, calling myself out, hypocrite.You know I'm watching a Karen video of somebody complaining and being filmed without their consent.But at the same time, there's a part of the Karen energy that I'm jealous of.because sometimes you need to be a Karen.Sometimes there's a place in society for Karen's.That's all I'm saying.Everybody has their role.
44:40It's just that Karen's, I guess because they have this special skill,they use it too much because they're like,hey, I got this Karen energy.It needs to be, you know, what's the word when you,it needs to be spent.You know, I've got all this Karen energy.It needs to come out.but, you know, sometimes it's inappropriate.
45:00But there is a time and a place.And, you know, I, we need like a super car.You know, like, you know, you put the Batman sign up for Batman or, you know, the bat phone.We need like a Karen phone.It's like, hey, you're not allowed to be a Karen unless called upon by society.This is a time for Super Karen.Somebody is watching a video in a public space without headphones.Super Karen, you know.
45:26then she comes in, right?Then that's a time for Karen, you know?And I'm aware that there's male carons.I don't think we've ever actually had, you know,decided, agreed upon a name.But I know there are male carons.But we haven't come up with a good name for them yet, in my opinion.But the male carins and the female carins,
45:52there is a time for you.Just wait to be called upon.Wait for, wait for an appropriate.time for you.Anyway, listen, I think we're all in the green.I shouldn't have spoken on this so long because I think we all agree.It's torture.And I apologize if I came across as anti-American in any way or unpatriotic.
46:11Because this is a patriotic message.Some people are trying to make America great again.But I don't agree with the slogan, make America great again because there's no consensuson when America was great, okay?But I'm 100% down with the slogan,Make America Better or make anywhere betterbecause that is the human jobto constantly evolve and get better.
46:33We can always improve.There's always room for improvement in society in general.Make humanity greater all the time.Never get complacent.Never rest on our laurels.Let's try to make society better.And I'm also aware that we don't always agreeon what will make society better.
46:52better. So on top of wanting to make society better, let's never lose sight of the factthat collaboration has always been the best way to evolve and get better. So never be afraidto collaborate with people who have differing views than you. So let's make America betterand be aware of other people in your vicinity. They don't need to hear you to thepoint where they can't concentrate ontheir own conversation. I don'tthink that's unpatriotic.It's the opposite. We're trying
47:30to make America better.So I hope no Americanstook it personally. Soall right, got to keep it light here.I keep trying to be light. I keepgetting dark, man. God, I neverrealized how much Hannah controlsmy...
47:46I mean, here's me complaining about Cairns.I think I'm giving off some severe Cairan energythis whole fucking episode.you know, like we've got to come up with a male name for Cairns.Message me.What's the mail name for a Karen?Oh, oh God, I feel like so many of them are personal to me.I'm worried.
48:07Oh, come on.We all agree on this one.This is a New York special right here.Hi, Hattendez.Love you guys.This is more of a pet peeve, but I think it should be illegal.But when you go to like a deli or a food place that,has like a counter for you to order at, I think it should be illegal that you go up to the counter
48:27and not know what you want. Um, I personally hate being behind someone that takes a reallylong time to order for themselves, their kids, their husband, whoever, um, I think you should standoff to the side until you figure out exactly what you want because there's some very hangarypeople that could be behind you, aka me. And you're also wasting the workers time by decidingwhen you're up there.So stand up to the sideto you figure it outand then you can go online.
48:57But yeah, I think it should be illegal.All right, thanks.Love you guys.Oh, my God.It's funny, you know,we have so many things thathave come up on the potover the years.
49:09And I feel like we've over this year and a halfor whatever,I feel like we've covered so manythat often I feel like,oh, we covered this beforebut I think it's worth mentioning again.But actually, this is so huge.and I don't think we've ever covered it
49:22I'm just deeply grateful for your messagebecause I mean this is so unacceptableyou knowthis is so in a busy placeobviously if it's not busy it's no big dealbecause at the end of the day rightlike more than that if there's a lineyou have enough time to figure out what you want
49:39so I've got I've walked into a subwayand you know hey I'm not afraid to admitI like a subwayyou know I'm justI'm coming out right now I like a subwayand I hate the smell of my fingers afterwards,but I love a subway.You know, it's just, there's too many,
49:56if you can't wash your handsimmediately after eating a subway,you know, the smell of a subwaycheese and oregano, whatever,oregano, as the Irish, say,that's going to be on your hands for a long time.But anyway, sometimes you get there,there's nobody in there.
50:12You know, you have time to think.You know, you're standing there.But if somebody arrives behind meand they know what they want,I'll say, sorry, I haven't made up my mind yet,you can go.You know, if you haven't made up your mind, and it's your time to have your mind made up, step aside.Step to decide.
50:28I mean, she doesn't even need me to say anything else because she articulated it so well, this dialer.So, but like in New York, it's, it's a major crime.Because one of the things I miss when I'm away from New York is that often places that get busy don't have a good system.Is there anything worse than going into like a place that's quite busy?but doesn't have a good system.So you, like, don't even know where you're supposed to order.If you're supposed to order and pay first, you know,and then go down the line,
50:58or are you supposed to order and then go down the line and pay?Oh, God, that hurts myself.I, like, there are some places with really good foodthat I don't go to just because I'm like,I can't handle the anxiety of not knowing what the fuck to do when I get there.I hate that sort of general confusion.And as I said,the world is not full of Cairns
51:20so most people are getting therethey're anxious they don't know what to dobut they're also too shy or embarrassedto ask somebody because they didn't want to looklike an idiot to be like how the fuckdoes this workwhat's happening hereso we're all just standing there sort of dumbfounded
51:35hoping we find ourselvesin the right spot and that's the worstyou know I hate thatyou knowbut I feel like largelyNew York is quite good atthat you know you go to like a deli like a hot like not hot as in hot food but like a place that'sgot a good rep a deli lunchtime in new york midtown pre-pandemic you know when people still went
51:59it to the office and uh you know it's like 12 30 1 o'clock there's a line out the door and likeall these dudes are behind the county like you next you sir neck boom and it's like order andthey're fucking you never seen like it these guys fucking raping fucking bacon egg and cheesebacon egg and cheese bagelsfucking you know it's like what do you wantnext go boom next you know how much moneyand like even before fucking tappingwhen it was actual change and you know
52:26so honestly let's face it it's usually likefour or five Mexican guys behind the counter rightdoing your food and then the Greek ownerhad to fucking till rightso you got the Greek guyyou got the Greek guy at thecash register you got four or fiveMexican guys and they got a fucking insane
52:42system man fuckingfucking shit's bad fast rightAnd then the guy at the, the guy at the counter is like, oh, my friend, okay, right?So the Greek guy at the counter is my friending you.And then you pay your money and the system is so slick.They're counting fucking money.Like nobody, they got like, I feel like, I feel like Delhi owned, you know, like traditionalbusinesses where they used to be like loads of cash, like they evolved like Greeks and like
53:10in these, you know, people that like nowadays are like prone to owning these businesses.I think their fingers evolved to, like, have better grip for cash.Because nobody can fucking count money like these motherfuckers, man.The money's gone.So, like, what looked like it was going to take, like, a half?It's like, how can this line get through?Ten minutes later, you're eating your fucking sandwich.Sharing a fucking table of four with a stranger.
53:37Midtown lunch, 2019.Did I just write a poem?Midtown lunch, 2019.my stress alleviated by a system developed over generations of hard-working immigrants.As I sit eating my tuna salad on toasted sesame bagel, I think isn't commerce.Great.Anyway.So anyway, that was that.
54:07That's that dealt with.So if you're somebody who doesn't know what they want, step aside.That's all I can say.I'm actually I'm like a fast orderer in generalIt's very rare that I tell the serverOh can you give us another minuteIt's very rareObviously it can happen where you sit down
54:28And you're so engrossed in conversationYou forget to even look at the menuBut more often than notI'm going to know what I want pretty quickIt's one of my hidden talents, my special skillsBut at a counterunacceptableso thank you. Great message. Great message. If you're a renter, I highly recommend you start
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58:07Let's keep it going.Well, this is deep, man.This is deep.Hey, mom and dad, big fan here, and a giggler.The thing I think should be illegal is having kids at any age with no training or proper licensing or any supervision.Yeah, I think it's nuts.Yeah, I have to agree.You know, I mean, listen, like, it's never going to happen.
58:38but it's kind of crazyyou know that likeI was doing fosteringfor Southampton Animal Shelterand I was like involvedwith them for a bitwhich was great over the pandemicbut you know
58:50they have a rigorous enough processforyou knowsending these dogsthese unwanted rescue dogsmostly pit bulls by the wayout for adoptionthey have a rich
59:02because they knowthat it's quite a responsibilityto have this dogespecially these pitsSo they're very conscious of giving them out to peoplewho might not be able to look after them, you know,to keep the dog safe,but also to keep other people safe,
59:16particularly other people's dogs, right?Because a lot of these dogs aren't good with other dogs.So they're very conscious of it.So you have to be approved.You don't have to be approved to have a kid.It's fucking crazy.You know?I mean, what can I add to this other than like, you know,
59:36like even i'm not i'm no catholic these days but you know until recently and maybe stillto get married in a catholic church in ireland anyway so i can only speak for ireland because i knowthis to be a fact in ireland to get married in a catholic church you have to do a pre-marriagecourse you know which actually you know i don't think it's a bad idea like can't we just havelike like the bare minimum of like you know can you do this now listen i'm awarethat to actually see this through, you get into some severe ethics issues.So yes, okay, we're having a bit of fun within the hypotheticalthat, you know, it would be acceptable to control somebody's reproductive system,
01:00:21which isn't even though it happens.And we, you know, I, like, it's funny how it's just, it's insanebecause we do actually control people's reproductive systems.But that's only a problem in certain situations, but not a problem in others.But anyway, so without going down that rabbit hole,let's just do it in the hypothetical situation of like,in an ideal world, if somebody is clearly not ready,then it should not happen, right?
01:00:58Because it's not even fair on the fucking kid, you know,that they're being born into a situation where they're just,not going to be able to be looked after. It's bonkers. So the more I talk about this,the point I realized, like, holy shit, I thought this was a lighthearted thing. But like an actualfact, when you actually start thinking about it, it's not lighthearted at all. But anyway,there isn't a law. And I'm also very aware that ethically, if this was actually a law in any wayshape of it would be rife for discrimination and, you know, all these societal sort ofassumptions about who's actually capable and who is.
01:01:37And so listen, I'm more than aware of the conundrum that I've just literally walked myselfinto.But just on the lighthearted side, can we just admit that it's fucking crazy that you almosthave more control over getting a pet than having a kid?It's fucking insane.But now, listen, I know I'm aware that there's regulations about parenting and, you know,you can call child services and everything, but, you know, it's just one of the weird things abouthumanity, you know, we regulate so much, but actually some of the, some of the most important
01:02:13things are just a free for all. And, uh, it is what it is. I'm literally, I'm so jammed up becauseI just realized the boy I talked. I was like, fuck me. This is complicated. But I'm leaving it in.You know what? Life was complicated. You know, I'm no longer going to be afraid to, to dip my toes into thecomplicated subjects. I'm not going to worry about whoever got offended on that one. Let's go fora lighthearted. I keep saying let's go for a lighthearted one. And I can't find the lightness inanything today. What is going on? Okay, here we go. Okay. When you're walking down the streetin like a city and then like there's a group of girls that are all walking in a horizontal lineand you're walking towards them and they don't break the fucking line and you have to either
01:03:02be like, excuse me, like, weird awkwardly and like split up their group, or you have tolike walk around them into the street, like down off the sidewalk and then curve backonto the sidewalk.That should be fucking illegal.Because why does a group of girls think they own the entire sidewalk?Well, listen, first of all, I don't think it's fair to say that it's just girls, right?But all the rest of it, I 100% agree with you.you know it's like it's like when um cyclists are like you know going too wide it's like actually
01:03:37illegal by the way you know what funny enough it's actually illegal for a cyclist to go too widebut they don't give a fuck you know and i'm very pro cycling but let's admit cyclists don'tgive a fuck about the rules you know they only care about the rules in relation to the safetiesto them which is understandable because they're very at risk yeah but they don't give a fuck aboutwhen they break the rules, right?So there is regulation for bikes,but there's no regulation for, you know,considerate walking on a sidewalk or a footpath
01:04:09for the European listener, you know,and there should be.Because at the end of the day, you got to,if you're going six wide, I got no problem with you walking six wide,but you got to make a, you got to make a spot.You got to make an opening, you know?I put this down on the same,the same level of
01:04:28civic disgustingnessas the people who blockthe travelator, the people who block the movingwalkway in an airport ortrain station and don't think thatthey're supposed to, if they want to stand still,that they need to step over to one side.So anybody
01:04:44who's blocking up a sidewalkor going too wideand not allowing people to passwhile you arereally off my list.And actually, it's one place that I can summon Karen energy for the sidewalk blocker.I can throw out a very Karen-esque, excuse me, I have that in me.I have the ability to conjure up the confidence to throw out an excuse me to a sidewalk blocker.
01:05:18Without a doubt.Now, I think for the Gen X's out there,for the older listener, of which I know there are some.I guess the joke you could say here is,this is clearly from a generation who did not play British Bulldogor whatever.I don't know if it's a universal name,but I don't know if people remember the game
01:05:40where the people in the middle locked armsand then people tried to run throughand break the line and get to the other side.And the more people got caught,the more people were in the lineuntil one person was left trying to break the line, right?I can't remember the different names of that game,but it's no longer allowed to be played as my understanding.
01:06:06Now, maybe I got that from the boomer hotline of fucking complaining about,oh, well, there's changed how much.We can't even play this incredibly dangerous game anymore.But so maybe I'm wrong, and it is allowed to be played,but I'm pretty sure that that game is no longer allowed to be played.But if you were from a generation,but you played that game,And you were used to the fucking school bully ripping through your fucking arms
01:06:27at full belt, you know, because kids grow at different sizes.So there was always the fucking early puberty kids that were fucking breaking throughthese fucking literally like killing people, fucking plowing through, you know.If you hadn't played that game growing up, I guess you'd feel confident being sixwide on a fucking sidewalk blocking people.But my generation, no, they were trained.we were trained at a young agefucking six people in a line and I need to get through
01:06:57I fucking know how to get throughround oneget out of the way motherfuckerno I'm sorry I knowthat there's so many people listening nowand all they're hearing ismy boomer energymy toxic masculinity
01:07:12just everything about me is so problematic right nowI get itbut I'm just being lighthearted and jokingbut I think we can all agree that a sidewalk blocker isannoying and it should be illegal and it isn't and I'm not going to complain any more about cyclistseven though that could be a whole other episode like I would love to do an episode where I 50%defend cyclists and 50% try to get them to take responsibility for times that they're beingassholes but there is something that came up so let me play this now because I think this is
01:07:42this is definitely something I agree with okay something that should be illegal that isn'tIs the way that delivery drivers on bicycles use the sidewalks as roads and go 60 miles per hour on a motorized bike on the sidewalk?Like, what the fuck?I actually am astounded that I haven't been hit, but it's actually nuts the way that these drivers operate.Hey. I'm with you 100%. I think that I'm a huge fan of the electric bikes for delivery driversbecause Hannah and I are big users of those delivery services. But what I am not a huge fan ofis the lack of road regulation that they do not pay attention to because essentially they'reon motorbikes, but they're carrying on as if they're on bicycles, but they're not. They're in the
01:08:48bike lane, okay, which I guess for safety purposes, I guess it's okay to be in the bike lanewith your e-bike. The problem is that a pedal assist, so I can understand if you're on a pedal assiste-bike, right? Because at the end of the day, a sense of you're just biking faster. But once you'reon like a motorized e-bike, which is basically a moped, you're on a fucking moped. Now you're inthe bike lane. It's fucking dangerous, right?So, you know, just like even like the bike laneWhen people are trying to cross the street sometimesOr, you know, like sometimes people shouldn't be walking out in the bike lane
01:09:30Which I totally understand.But like these motorbikes are coming so fucking fast in the bike lane.It's just like it doesn't compute in people's heads.Just the speed that's coming at them.And then the fact that they get up on the sidewalk, like it's so dangerous, man.You know?And don't even start me on the.the fact that they're just running red lights at will.
01:09:50The amount of times I've had to jam on,like literally, like jam on, otherwise it kills somebody,is fucking crazy.Like, it's so dangerous.It's beyond.So, yes, I'm with you 100%.And I believe that there has been a lot of incidents.There has been an increase of pedestrians hurt by e-bikes
01:10:12since the sort of e-bike revolution.So I'm all for e-bikes.I really support the delivery driversbut I'm also forincreased regulation or probablyit's not a bit about increased regulationI think the regulation is there. Increased enforcementof
01:10:28the law aroundsafety. Okay,I'm not, I don't honestlylike it doesn't bug melike 100% sayif they take a righton a redif they take a right on a red
01:10:44if they take a right on a redwhen they've stoppedand clearly lookedand there's nobody aroundif they take a right on that redit's not really bugging methat muchyou know
01:10:58but just busting through a full redyou knowbecause like they do this weird thingwhere they sort of half go through the redjust trying to see if there's cars comingbut often they go so fucking farbefore they fucking notice the carthat like the car has to jam on anyway
01:11:12it's so dangerous manyou know so anyway again i'm so cat listen i'm just embracing it man we've just embraced the a moan festhere today but it's a moan fest topic you know and i think we've all been affected by it solet's just embrace it just just easy on the cycling on the sidewalk man easy on just easy onjust easy on areas where pedestrians aren't expecting you you know um but then also carsstay out of the fucking bike lien, you know?Even if you're picking somebody up, Uber drivers,don't park in the fucking bike lane.
01:11:49How about that, all right?So let me get into my sticking up for cyclists.Don't block the bike lane.Simple as.It's great.I love bike lanes.I know a lot of people love complaining about them,but the safety around them is immense.
01:12:05Actually, one of the things I miss most about Beijingis they have the most incredible cycle lanes.literally like a full road.Now, I mean, you know, they were able to completely rebuild the citybecause they had to pay no attention to humanityso they just would just destroy fucking neighborhoodsand tell them to fucking go further outand nothing you could do about it.
01:12:23But, you know, like ignoring the fact that it was authoritarianismthat allowed them to just rebuild these insanely wide roads in Beijing.But beyond that, I would say that their bike lanes are amazing.So there's like two or three lane roads, right?And then like a tree-line sidewalk.and then a full width road just for bikes and motorbikes, but it's amazing.So I cycled everywhere in Beijing.And, you know, I know people get very angry, but cycling keeps a lot of cars off the road.
01:12:53So these cyclists are keeping the traffic down for you.They're keeping the pollution down.So, you know, I don't think you should have the amount of ire that you have for cyclists.And I don't think you should be blaming cyclists for the lack of parking.Because, like, they're keeping fucking cars out of the city.So for every parking spot, you think you've lost to a bus.bike lane, you've lost a car coming into the city, take that parking spot. So I think it all evensout and it makes society a safer place, you know, especially if you have kids living in the city,
01:13:22come on, you want them to have safe cycling. So there we go. We bounced it out there. Wow,I talk, you know, these pods, these apps be end up being way longer than when it's just Hannah.Let's face it, man. I'm out of control. Um, all right. Let's do one more because I think this one'skind of funny. Hi, Hannah and Dez. Love you guys. My pet peeve that is not illegal but should beis when people are in the grocery store and they pick up something that like needs to berefrigerated or frozen. So like chicken cutlets, they pick that up out of the chicken section.And then they decide they don't want it and they put it in a different section of the store.They just set it down somewhere. I hate that because it's disgusting. You've basically created a
01:14:08biohazard.And it's not stealing, but it should be, it should be considered stealing because no one elsecan buy that.You've ruined that product.If you can't tell I work retail, that drives me crazy.And people should be arrested for that shit.Love you.Bye.
01:14:24Oh, I love this one because I think we're all conflicted, right?Because this clear example, this very specific example, is clearly a violation.If you take something out of the frozen food section and then do not put it back in the frozen food section, unacceptable.Now, obviously, supermarkets, retail outlets, they account for shrinkage, as they say.You know, they account for sort of lost products from damage and theft.But it's kind of like the height of laziness to not put something back that can spoil.Okay?So I'm with you, sister.
01:15:06I'm with you 100%.On the other hand, I think we've all been guilty of realizing that there's something thatactually you don't want, that you don't put back in the right spot, whether it be at thesupermarket or in a closed store where you're a little bit lazy.And you don't put back where it originated, but it doesn't spoil.You've just given somebody an extra job, which, listen, I'm not saying that's right.right, you know, but I'm saying that I've done it, but at least it's not, you're notspoiling something, you know. So I've done that, but I felt bad when I've done it, but I've just
01:15:52factored in the, the amount of time it would take to go back, you know, versus just leavingit somewhere. But I feel guilty every time. I probably look both ways like I'm about torob the store, you know, when I put the, when I put the blazer back in like the sweatpantssection of H&M or something. I mean, I don't know if that's a great example, but you knowwhat I mean, you know, or even like on the line. You've ever been on the line? Like all thesestores, you've ever noticed like all these stores just more and more are creating lines that trap you?I think Hannah and I might have talked about that recently, but more and more stores create this kind of likesnake of like you think you bought everything you wanted well here's 20 more things that we're
01:16:41going to try to tempt you with while you snake away and head to the checkout so but even in thesnake you know even in the when you're trapped in the gauntlet of trying to pay for your goodsI think sometimes you sort of go ah fuck I don't need another 20 socks so you just throw them backoh that's probably a bad example because I always think that socks are in the snakeactually one of those things that I'm happier in the snake because I'll get to thesnake and I'll be like, oh, fuck, socks, handy, great, boom, in the basket. So listen, they knowwhat they're doing. What's a better example of being in the snake and putting something back?Being in the snake and putting something back, I can't even think of a good example, but you know what
01:17:22I mean. We've all done that. And I don't think that's a crime. I just think that's like alike a slight infraction. And at the end of the day, sometimes, I've done retail, by the way.So I'm somebody who knows what it's like to find shit in weird places.But at the same time, retail would be boring sometimes.So in a way, it gives you something to do.Because sometimes you just literally need shit to do.So going around and trying to find shit that's out of place,not the worst part of the job.
01:17:50It's just fucked up because, so just say, for example,it was the last large or the last XL.And you've taken it.And then you've realized, ah, I see something else I like.I'm not going to take that.And you don't put it back where it's from.then somebody who needs a lodge doesn't get the chance to get thatuntil somebody from the shop puts it back.
01:18:08So it's inconsiderate without a shadow of a doubt.It's inconsiderate, but we've all done it.But you leave frozen chicken nuggets next to the fucking cereal.You're an asshole.You're the final asshole of the day here on Burnifone.So thanks, everybody.I have literally talked to myself into not being able to talk.And I have a show tonight in Waterford.
01:18:35So this is going out.So if you're in Ireland,tickets left for my Thursday show in the Olympia.Wednesday and Friday are sold out.But I only added this show five weeks ago.So there's still some tickets left Thursday at the Olympia Theater in DublinBeautiful, Historic Theater.So hope to see you there.
01:18:52And also tickets left for my show in Nere, Neary County Down,which is near Kilkew County Down,which is there my grandfather is from.And other than that, the only tickets that are now going to be promoted by May are back in the States where I have tons of shows coming up in the spring, starting in Pennsylvania.I'm in Seoul, Joles, I think it is, somewhere in Pennsylvania, you go on my website, and then I'm in Providence, Rhode Island, at the Comedy Connection, in Levittown at Governor's Comedy Club, that should be fun because I can really get my sort ofqueen slash long island vibes on i won't be judged on my accent the one place that i'll sound normalwhen i'm on stage levittown long island i'm in miami well doral which is probably in a bad moodbecause loads of venezuelans are being deported even though trump fucking made them vote for him but uh anyway
01:19:49i'm in dorale miami uh in also in april and i'm in chicago again at zanis comedy clubI'm in Royal Oak Michiganbefore Zanis in ChicagoI'm in Denver for the first timethe first time I was supposed to play Denverwas the day after I tore mymotherfucking ACL and my life has beenchanged forever
01:20:15so come to Denver where I get to celebrate the factthat I'm still fucking limpingbecause I have country Malaysiaanyway loads of showsthere's more on my website go and check them outyou know I feel like I can speakI feel like none of you are left.Who's here still?
01:20:32Get on with your lives.Seriously.So anyway,thank you very much.You guys are the best.Listen to the Bishop Exchange.If you're looking for two older mentalking about life,
01:20:47me and John Bishop,the Bishop Exchange is now upwherever you get your podcastand on John Bishop's YouTube,John Bishop Comedy.You can watch that one.So we'll see you next week.We'll have Hannah back.
01:20:58next week. I promise 100% Hannah's back. I will not, we will not have any situation whereHannah will not be back. Um, and, uh, that's it. Thank you guys. Love you. Bye.
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