Berner Phone - Berner Phone #85: Couples Fights

Episode Date: April 6, 2025

Every couple has that one recurring argument they can't agree on. The dialers are sharing the small but mighty fights in their relationships.

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Boland-Branch. Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at boland-branch.com slash burn. That's Boland Branch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D branch.com slash burn to save 15% exclusions apply. Seaside for details. Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hello, my little dialers.

We've officially started a war. between families, between couples. There's what's going on right now? Well, as Mob Deep once said, there's a war going on outside. No man to say from, you can run, but you can't hide forever. So the dialers are shook.

The dialers, the dialers are shook ones. So we had an explosion of reaction from the on the Spotify comments and by the way I just in case I had some people pointing out like oh I don't use Spotify

I'm an Apple podcast guy I'm not there is no Spotify bias on this it's just that when it comes to responding to an actual episode you can respond in the Spotify comments but we don't have like a Spotify preference on this podcast

but on the Apple Apple Podcasts, you can only review the entire podcast. You can't respond directly to the episode. And I don't look at those reviews because those reviews are, they can be quite negative. So we don't, we don't go there. Anyway, long story short, long story short, the Spotify comments fucking exploded on the issue of where to put the condiments in the

drawer. Okay. We thought the world was divisive before. We've never had more attention. Now, I have to tell you that it's definitely, I'd say, on average, it's 70% in your favor. For some people, it's just like, where else would you keep the condiment packets? Some people are like me, but they are in the minority that find it kind of disgusting. and then there is a large portion of people

who think that the condiments place is the butter tray in the fridge. Oh, okay, I've actually seen that in some other people's houses. And then there is quite a large number of people who have like a basket for them that go on the table, which is probably, honestly, my takeaway from this is the most practical thing

is a basket that stays out on the table because actually that's where you will use them. You will actually use them if they're out. Because let's face it, whether it's the utensil drawer or the butter fridge or what a lot of people say, put them in a zip lock and put them in the pantry, all those solutions are basically a graveyard for your condiments. Essentially, it's a purgatory between you and the garbage, whereas actually if they're out on the table, they might get used.

Well, this goes back to a classic ADHD. This is what's on my TikTok problem, which is if anything's put away, will you ever use it? But then you can't keep out everything because then your house is a disaster. I always thought that the forks and the knives and stuff, you know, there's always this weird space in the front. So I was just utilizing space. I also was doing what I realized most people do is they just do what their parents do and they believe what their parents believe. So I was raised the type of way. But you know what? I'm open

minded and I do like the basket idea. However, we've so much crap all over the place already. Do we want to add that? Yeah, I do feel like I, you say that you're raised that way, but I feel like I got a bit of support from your mother that she didn't love the way

that the condiments were in the drawer. Well, now I'm questioning everything. Well, anyway, but I could be wrong on that. So anyway. I think it was always, I always also know in the drawer back in the day. We used to have takeout menus. Oh yeah. And people mentioned that. People said, there was a couple of people in the Spotify comments that said, take out menus and condiments go in the...

Chopsticks. Yeah, they go in the... Yeah. So anyway, what was great about that is that, well, first of all, obviously, touched a nerve. But then we thought, what are these low-level arguments that couples have? You know, things that don't really matter, but like are a fun little bit of bickering between couples. So essentially... A little foreplay. Yeah, this is this is a bicker. We're going to flicker on the bicker and so, and the dialers came through.

This was, I think, probably the highest hit rate of you know, prompt to actually going into the drawer, no pun intended, of potential things that we might discuss on the pod. Almost every single, I had to be very selective because almost every single one was awesome. And if you're listening and you go, Hannah, Des, mom and dad, I'm single.

Why am I listening to this? I think it's important that relationships are not all social media butterflies. Let's talk about what relationships truly are. After a couple months, if you realize, okay, I want to date this person, you start seeing how they live their life. And there's so many little things that honestly could make or break or relationship of, okay, I like this guy, he's attractive, but do I want to deal with this for the rest of my life? Or things that you're like, this is actually cute. It's cute. It's fun to

have these little disagreements. And we have little disagreements. But some, some little things people just can't do. They just can't do. But also, I want to point out, because we had a few single people message in, but obviously they remember times with an ex or honestly, some of this can just be family stuff like my brother likes it this way, my sister likes it this way. So it's just we framed it in the relationship context but anyway we don't even need to discuss it because we got so many in so it wasn't an issue and one mental health moment

like recently on TikTok I think it's important to call out your partners for these things that a lot of the time with women we have pressure to be like the cool girl the laid back girl and you're just down with everything and then one day you snap

okay you snap and you get 10 cats and you're living alone in Wyoming which sounds actually pretty fucking nice and for men too you got to speak up set boundaries with people and um let's see where those boundaries lie oh thanks thanks for trying to make this a lot deeper than it is here we go as hannah you guys can't see it but hannah went for her giggly squad stanley it's like here we go she went for its sip that's that's the most that's the most millennial female thing ever it's like

Let's get into it. Suck of them. I think that's bigger than your head. First, I just throw therapy terms and then I just suck on my Stanley. You used to be mic drop. Now it's like, sip of the Stanley, sip of a Stanley that's actually bigger than Hannah's head. All right. Okay.

So there's so many here. Let's start with something that's close to Hannah's heart. Hi, Hannah. Hi, hi, Des. Love you guys. Saw Hannah in Albany. She called my boyfriend his daddy. Um, but me and my daddy fight about the Gatorade flavors.

He will only call them by their like government name, like Arctic freeze or lemon lime. And the proper way is to refer to them by color, like yellow, light blue, blue, red. Um, and we also fight about ketchup in the sense that I only use like ketchup bottles and it has to be kept in the fridge. and he thinks that having ketchup packets in the drawer is the same thing. And for me, it's not. So those are our two things that we, like, fight about pretty regularly. This is right in my alley. Yeah, well, let's focus on the first one,

because obviously we can't, we can't become basically a ketchup packet pot. So I. We go how many times are they going to talk about the ketchup packets? The comments are like, I used to love this pod, but then they just got obsessed with the cup. he brings it up literally every episode and tells us the comment on it it's like we don't have any more opinions on ketchup packets but i but you you're a big gatorade gal i'm a big gatorade girl oh you can't say gal oh i thought you said guy i thought you're like you're good gatorade guy

no i said gal i said gal i okay i'll take gal i'm a big gatorade gal um i grew up just drinking tons of gatorade i i've learned now it is um pretty much cocaine for children, but that's what I ran on as a child. And now when I'm touring and I don't want boring water, I like a white Gatorade Zero. White Gatorade Zero, also known as Gatorade ice. You know what? I feel for both parties here. Yes, because Gatorade expanded there, they expand it out. They got a little crazy where like there's certain colors, like the red, there's fruit punch. But then there's all. also like a red pink, that's strawberry kiwi.

There's a mango that's also orange and then there's an orange. The mango Gatorade is like, oh my God, it's next level. I highly recommend it. It's very hard to find. It's like a Pokemon. I'm obsessed with Gatorade, but I think this is very fun and cute. And I think this is very zaddy of him to call it. Like, Glacier Freeze.

The government name really cracked me up. Yeah, because I still to this day would say, I'll have a yellow, an orange, a red Gatorade. Right? So I don't... Glacier Freed is... If you say Glacier Free is you're a nerd. I didn't even know that that was the thing, you know?

That's... Glacier Freed... Glacier... I can't even... I can't even say it. If you can say it, you're a fucking MIT graduate, okay? And stop showing off. I feel like this is just one of these things where she's set in her ways based on the original limited...

amount of Gatorade flavors and I feel you but the problem is when you're getting into this next generation you know because like even the bottles now it used to be very basic now there's like there's like more lightning and there's like there's more lightning on a Gatorade bottle

so it's like do I want the one with the lightning or do I just want the old school yellow Gatorade it's also like starburst you're not going to be like lemon starburst you're going to be like the yellow. Yellow yeah does

what's your favorite starburst of course my favorite starburst is red I'm like thank God okay I got really I mean who I got really scared oh my god I got so scared because you were talking about that TikTok or who do the thing of like how the lemon starburst feels when it doesn't get picked you know honestly like even with like wine gums I feel like do we have wine gums in the United States

no wine gums is a great Irish slash British sweet and wine gums are so good. But, like, what I try to do is actually I try to eat the ones I don't want first. Because, like, I think most people accept that yellow and green are the weakest, right? Well, who decided, you know, what would make this better

if we did a Lysol flavor? Yeah, so this is what I don't understand. It's like, it's universal. It's unanimous. No one likes the yellow. But you know what? Maybe it makes you appreciate the red and the pink more. That's the thing.

It's like living in the Northeast. People are like, how can you live in the Northeast? much need with the weather. It's like, well, actually, the cold makes you appreciate the hot, whereas you're just hot all the time, you know, down in Florida, you know? That's why I don't wear makeup all the time. There you go. So we can. So anyway. That's when you're supposed to say, Hannah, you look beautiful without makeup. I say that all the time. You never listen to me. I say you don't need makeup. You don't listen to me.

No, actually, you can't win as a guy. Here's the thing. It's very rare that I have to like defend. men on this spot because I avoid it at all cause but I gotta defend men men can't win in this situation because when men say you don't need makeup to go oh guys you guys always say that you don't understand what it's like we need makeup but then if you're like oh you look so

good in makeup then it's like oh you say it I don't look good you can't win I do like when you compliment me without makeup but yeah when I get all made up and it's like wow you look really good it's like I never say that okay you don't think I'm gonna yeah you don't you know yeah I bet I compliment you

all the time for how you look all the time you know but i do like when your hair is done straight does that was that was expensive 25 inch hair extensions okay well speaking on speaking about what to splurge on let's go to contestant number two okay this is such a good prompt i feel like something we disagree on. My husband and I is like what to splurge on. So for example, I must fly business class. Like I must, especially on international like overseas flights when you know it's overnight and you want to sleep. And my husband thinks it's a waste. But like he has no problem spending like $500 on like a dinner. And I'm like that is such a waste of money. So we often often about heads on what is splurge worthy and what isn't.

So, yeah, love you guys. Oh, my God, love you. This is actually a huge thing in relationships that you don't realize until you're, like, fully in a relationship with someone, how they deal with money. Yes. You're like, oh, look at him. He's being so generous to me. And then once you realize your finances are connected, you're like, why do you spend that?

Well, sorry, what are you? You're not talking about us. No, I'm talking in general. We are very similar, I think, with money. Well, certainly on what to splurge on, I think we're pretty aligned. If you're with someone who's, I'm going to just say, like, cheap, and I put that in quotations, as in someone who holds their money tighter, doesn't like to spend, and then you're with a spender, I don't know if that relationship can necessarily work, unless it's,

It's like, look, I'm spending my money on my things. You spend it your way. Don't spend my money on your stupid little splurges. But I have to say that I'm aligned with her, too, because I feel like the business class flights are the better splurge than expensive dinners. Now, don't get me wrong, I like a very fancy dinner as much as the next guy. But I also think that it's not, you don't get it. much out of a splurging on a dinner that you do from especially an international business class

flight. A hundred percent. You'll eat that sashimi in three minutes where you have 24 hours or whatever on a business class flight where you get to lay down, get pampered. Honestly, hotel rooms and flights, I feel like are the thing to splurge on. My hot take, which I fight with Paige about all the time, is as I sometimes I feel like, hotel rooms are overrated. Like when you stay at a really nice hotel, sometimes the freaking people are knocking on your door and you find, can I help you? Do you need anything?

Can I give you another fancy cell, seltzer? And you're like, I'm just trying to sleep my hotel. As long as I have a bed and a room and a shower that works, I'm happy. All you got to do is put the Do Not Disturb sign on. That's literally what it's for. But you know what it is? I can't enjoy it when I know how expensive it is when I don't feel like it's worth it.

And I'm sitting there, like, is this bed $1,000 a night worth? I don't know. I'm asleep. I don't even know how it feels. I'm asleep. By the way, are our neighbors ever not landscaping? Oh my God, can you hear it?

Yeah, because you're on... So, we don't like to give away our secrets, but Hannah doesn't have her normal microphone. So we are hearing the landscaping. Oh, no. It's not... It's not a disaster. by any stretch of the imagination.

Is it a little ASMR? No, it's just a gentle... It's just... I wanted to acknowledge it so that it wasn't distracting anybody. But I do... I'm not going to get into any neighbor arguments, but they're always fucking landscaping next door.

It's like how many edges... I swear to God. So what I will say is... Fancy hotel? I'm not as big on the splurge, but just like knowing a hotel that has like an... awesome room. Like an awesome hotel room is worth it, I think.

What makes a hotel room awesome? Just the right size, the right bed, the right decor, and the bathroom, particularly, just like an awesome, you know, my favorite hotel room is one that has like an amazing walking shower with like incredible shower pressure and a separate bath that's deep enough to want to entice me into the bath with your towels with towels that are like so thick and large that when you when they touch your body you you feel like you're back in the womb and a robe that a robe that sits on your skin like like like a soft tissue massage see i i need to enjoy the little things in life more because the way you described all that just sounded so joyful yeah i come in i shut the light

I lie down I fall asleep I wake up when it's time for my show it's dark and depressing in my hotel room Honestly one of the great things in life is a towel And I know that we could get

A heated towel rack in our own house But when you get out of a beautiful shower In a five-star hotel And you take the towel The beautiful like five-star hotel towel Off the towel rack And it's warm on your skin These are the things

So that's what I like to splurge on. But yes, I do like room service. I like when there's good room service. Good room service is the best. Yeah. With a good system. But I have a problem. I just sometimes think some of these hotels, like I stayed in this one hotel that was like famous in L.A. And I, and it's so old and so expensive and so haunted. They were like, this movie producer died here. And there were so many creeks from like the air conditioning. It was like creaking, I had to put like white noise to fall asleep. And then they didn't have just one light to click off. I had to go individually and shut off every little light all over the room.

Oh my God. I was like, I was like, the ghosts of Mail Monroe don't are out to get me right now. And by the way, PSA, I think I said this recently, but I'm going to repeat. Always check with your room service deliverer that they actually get the tip that you put on the thing because a lot of times they don't and that's some bullshit the best part is page no matter which hotel she stays at she has to like do a whole booby trap because she's convinced that like people are going to break in and try to murder her so she like puts a chair up against the door really that's one too many horror movies man yeah but i do put the lock thing on because you've just heard word stories about who could just, who just have a key and they enter.

Yes. All right. I think one time, one time I checked into a hotel and when I opened the door of the room that they gave me, there was shit all over the place. And I was like, somebody's in that room. But luckily nobody was in it. Yeah. But like, it was, they clearly gave me like the wrong room.

I've gone into a five-star hotel where there was like something in the toilet, like something gross. Really? Yeah. And I just, what are you going to? I just was like. like, okay, I'm going to flush it because some things are just weird. The only two bad hotel experiences I had was once when I accidentally booked a hotel in Savannah, Georgia, when I meant to do Savannah, Ohio.

Wow. I made a mistake with the towns. And when I got there, it was mom's weekend for this university show I was doing. Yes. And all the moms are coming. There's no hotels anywhere. I had to stay at a super eight. Wow.

And when I walked in, there was like a full family, like a mom and children. And the kid was giving me like mean eyes, you know, like staring me down. I was like, are you trying to fight me? This four-year-old. And I walked in and it had like a smell. And then there was like stains on the little. Oh. Yeah.

But the scariest was when I stayed. When I first went out to LA for the first time, I found like the cheapest hotel. I was like, you know, you could stay in L.A. for cheap. It was one of those, like, outdoor motels. Oh, yeah. Like, out of like a Tarantino movie. I was so scared the first night because everyone was just right outside. Like, you could just hear people yelling.

And I was so scared and I had to change hotels. Oh, I actually liked that. That's, to me, that's like a proper motel. That's like the way. Yes, but it's so different to be a guy. I understand. I understand. Let's keep, let's keep.

One more thing. Okay. Wait, I got to remember. and not to bring up hotels with ham. She always goes out for ten. This is just random, though. Because this is my life as hotels. And also, I love hotels.

Okay, focus. Come on. Concentrate. I was recently dropping people off. And when you drop your girlfriend off, like, in an Uber, you're like, you keep the Uber there. You're like, I'm going to watch you walk into your room. And you're like, text me. I was raised. Text me when you get there.

Like, it's this whole thing. But then we had a guy in the car, and he lived on, like, the other side. of Manhattan and we didn't want to go out of our way so we literally dropped him off on the side of the highway we were like bye I'm just like what it's a dude you're just like bye figure it out with the girl we're like we have to all carry her into her bed and then lock the door I dropped this kid off anyway I love me some pros as I get older I realize I want to treat myself to customizable hair care My hair is unique. It's a little dry.

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There's a silverware basket. I swear this would make the best game show to have a sink full of dishes and have a man load the dishwasher and a woman load the dishwasher. And I guarantee the woman will fit way more in the dishwasher than the man would. Like he literally fills the top rack with like six things and he's like, it's full. It's full. I can't fit anything else. and I'm like, oh my gosh, organization of the dishwasher.

All right, so who's going to... She sounds like me when I do man voices. It's fool. It's fool. Okay, so who's going to tell him? Me or you? Okay, Des does the dishes in our house. No, not just that I do the dishes, but what else do I do when it comes to the dishwasher?

You unload the dishwasher? I admonish you when you load the dishwasher in the way that this woman is saying, men load the dishwasher. I remember that was like during COVID the last time I loaded the dishwasher. No, that's not true. Hannah, you load the dishwasher sometimes. Let's let's focus on the truth. It was during COVID that you were like,

are you a psychopath? And I was like, what are you talking about? And you were like, that's not how you loaded dishwasherwork. Yeah, I mean, it was, I was shocked. I was like, who did not teach this woman like where shit goes? It was chaos. not like there was coffee mugs like on where

the plates should be I'm a creative okay and I was I had a creative vision for a unique way that I was going to fit more things in because I don't like to just deal with the status quo I don't need to fit into a box

there's a system the system is the way to fit most things in yes the world has evolved and we now like larger deeper bowls. So I will admit that the larger, deeper bowl

has caused us to put more bowls on the upper rack than we used to. But beyond the fact that dishwashers haven't really adapted to the larger bowl, which is something that maybe Bosch or Millet would like to focus on, is adapting dishwashers for the larger bowl. But other than that,

it's clear that the small plates, I think small plates, front of the bottom rack, bigger plates, back of the bottom rack. And obviously, you know, sometimes there are certain pots and, you know, that can actually go into the dishwasher. And if you're not overloaded with, you know, other stuff, then you can fit a pot in there.

But obviously it's going to take up a lot of space. But, like, largely you want to use the most amount of space you can wash the most amount of shit in one wash. You're so passionate about this. Well, this is actually, I'm not just saying this, It was the number one thing that came in. Wow. There was minimum 15.

And I only got halfway through and I decided that we had enough. So this came up a lot. This might be obvious, but I do think it's important. Have all the forks and knives facing down. Well, that came up and I was taught. It's like running with scissors. I was taught to put the knives down. But actually, the forks should be down too, I agree.

Yeah, the forks aren't as necessary, but it makes it easier just to grab them. But these are little things that you would never know if you're just like hooking up with a hot guy. It's like the second you settle down, you're like. But these are things that you would assume as a man, God forgive me. Because there's been a lot of assumptions about who's making these mistakes in a relationship. But you would assume that your new partner knows where shit goes in the dishwasher. You would assume that. Are you coming from me, I am?

No, I was just kidding around. I just, because suddenly you were talking like you were somebody that knows their way around the dishwasher. So I also want to point out that I don't know if this is like a known thing, but I only discovered it recently, which is that it makes sense. If you have a dishwasher that has a utensil rack

that's big enough, that you should just put all the spoons in one section, all the forks in one section, because it's just much easier to unloading. it afterwards because I don't I was much later in my life when I remember I realized that you could just take the utensil

rack out so that you weren't like bending over up and down so you take the utensil rack out and put them back in the utensil drawer like without going back and forth to the dishwasher my ADHD brain you can't handle it because you're reading something else that's why

what am I reading oh you're not no oh because you were looking in a weird spot No, that was just me spacing out. See, now at least we have the evidence of how undomesticated Hannah is. She can't even talk about domestication without, she goes into, it's like, where did Hannah go?

Where did Hannah go? He's sweating. Hannah, like fucking poltergeist. It's like, what's going, Hannah's been possessed? No, but I also think that if we have kids, like I'm going to have to like I'm going to be a whole different person or are you really or I won't we'll see I just think part of the female I think one of the things that clearly the bishop partner marriage will indulge in if we have kids is a cleaning lady and possibly even uh somebody

to help us out with the kids that will that will be a nanny for the kid and the nanny for me yeah people like who's this extra person hanging out it's like she just follows Hannah around because Hannah has no idea what she's doing. She cleans up after me. Yeah, she cleans them for you. Even our like three-year-old kid will be like, why is mommy so messy? It's like, hey, you got to wear a bib, honey.

It's like, how come mommy doesn't wear a bib? She's just as much as a mess as I am. We do an interview for a nanny and we're like, have you ever worked with a woman who's 34 before? Yeah, have you ever worked with a woman who's 34 before? Yeah. Have you ever worked with a 13? 34-year-old child.

Sorry. By the way, neither of us are domesticated. In fact, most of my life, my friends have made fun of me for being so, like, bad around the house. But somehow I met somebody that's... I don't know if you're worse, but certainly there are aspects that you are definitely worse than me on.

I'm sure there's aspects that I'm worse, too. I do have to say, because I've been right now staying at this place without you. and like it's i keep my messes in places where i feel like you're a little more reckless right you're really really you throw yourself everywhere where mine'll be like in a god i mean look you've gone on record saying that it will just like you're snoring it will not be hard for me to get the evidence to say that that is absolute bullshit like you can't even open the fucking door to our apartment with the fucking shit that's in front of our door

Are any, is my name on any of those boxes? Do you feel better exposing me right now? No, Hannah, you just you just tried to call me out with fake news. You know, I know I sound like Trump, but this is a fake news moment. With, like, you'll, like, leave a t-shirt

like in the kitchen. Hannah, I can't wait to take all the pictures of all the stuff of yours. That is literally everywhere. Okay, but you'll leave a t-shirt in the kitchen. and you you won't I didn't say I won't I'm just acknowledging that you will

I mean I think you mean on the the stools of the counter on the far side of the kitchen I think is what you mean yeah and has have you ever sat in those chairs ever no but that's not either of us

you guys we're just what you're witnessing right now is us showing you what this episode's about no because listen I basically said that we both have our things that were worse than each other on but then you tried to call me out on something

which you are just as bad on so that's why I was... We're showing you how a couple can have a fight about the tiniest little thing. Well, that's what it's about. That's this episode. And that was us improvving. A real fight.

No, come on. I'm only kidding. Hannah, how many times... In this house that you're in right now, how many times have you used the washer dryer in the house that you're in right now? I didn't know we had one. It's downstairs. So I had to teach Des what a hamper is

because Des just has dirty clothes everywhere and then eventually picks up his dirty clothes from all around the house and puts it away. At least all my dirty clothes are in a hamper. Are they really? Okay, so let me just throw it back at Hannah. I one time got given out to because I was doing the laundry and Hannah said, why did you clean?

Those clothes were clean. They were on the floor. Because they were clean. They were clean. Dirty clothes are in the hamper. Clean clothes can be anywhere. Because it meant I wore it, but I didn't wear it enough that it was dirty. So I went on the floor.

Okay. So pick it up. Like, I'll do Pilates, and if I don't sweat enough, I put it on the floor. So the next time I do Pilates, I pick it up. There is a method to my madness. Okay. Well, there you go, guys. Now you got it.

This is what we're dealing with with each other. These are the politics of messy people. And that was another example about how you can fight over laundry. The politics of messy people. It's like, who's insane management of House Affairs is more of a problem. This is how. Which, by the way, we don't fight about this. We're having fun with it now.

This is how we're compatible because it rarely happens. But if I ever say something like, why is that there? he'll be like well why is that there and then we both go touche and enjoy our day we have a tushet relationship so we're only joking about this now because this doesn't cause any stress

in our life because we don't get triggered by messy we live in the piece of tushay and if this is not a political podcast but you know free trade works because everything is tusha in other words oh you think you're getting ripped off but what about this thing everything is tusha

But when you choose to jump out of the touche, your 401k goes down by 10%. That's all I'm going to say on that. And one of us is not doing all the work to keep the household nice. Neither of us is. So there's no animosity towards each other. Exactly. We're equally negligent. We are equally...

Except occasionally one of us tries to be a hero and decides to clean out the fridge for no reason and throw away things that sometimes we want or invisaline. so every now and then we've gotten in trouble when we try to be clean so that's why we avoid it yes the two perpetrators there were I threw out some leftovers that Hannah had intended to eat

even though for most of our relationship the leftovers have just rotted in our fridge but this one time I tried to be proactive I got in trouble and Hannah threw away my final invisible line retainer and I never replaced it and hence my bottom teeth are slowly getting more crooked but that's on me

for not replacing it but anyway that we ended up uh we didn't need any prompts since we were going to just air out our grievances live on the pod okay we're always trying to get better at our finances on this pod we like be smart with our money and that's why i want to tell you about built attention if you're a renter you're about to thank me earn your favorite airline miles and hotel points through built just by paying your rent on time, let me explain. No cost to join. And just by paying rent, you unlock flexible points that can be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines, a future rent payment, your next lift ride, and more. This is amazing because you're spending money on rent

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Hello, Hannah-Andes. This week's prompt is really funny. Something that comes to mind, something that my partner and I don't really, like, fight about, but we just think it's funny, and we refuse to do this the other person's way. So when going to brush our teeth, I start by putting toothpaste on my dry,

toothbrush and then putting it in the water and then brushing while my boyfriend wets his toothbrush first, then puts toothpaste on, then brushes. So obviously these are very similar, but I think it's weird that he does it his way. He thinks it's weird that he does, that I do it my way. And it's just kind of like those little nuances of the way that you grew up and we refuse to change the way that we do it. Anyway, thanks so much. Bye. this is this i never knew was a point of contention you know his way seems unsafe like what the toothpaste uh no if if you wet your toothbrush and then put the toothpaste on it could slip off you think so it could it could i mean i i i don't where if you put it on the dry tooth because i hate

when it actually falls off the toothbrush that is a waste of good toothpaste. Okay, well, I'm just going to counter your argument there. Because I actually, I don't, I think I do it both ways. It really just kind of depends. But what I would say is that if the pressure on the water, I've had water knock my toothpaste off the toothbrush. Valid point.

That's a valid point. Wait, I don't know which now I'm overthinking it. I don't know which one's right. What do you do? I put it on the dry and then I put it over. But now I realize there's a risk. of if you don't if you have too high of a toothpaste you've put it too high yes it can be knocked over um i know people who i'm trying to think yet people do have different toothpaste

toothpaste etiquette yeah i know though you know when you're younger and you have like a sleepover or even now like if you find yourself brushing your teeth next to someone you get like a little competitive where it's like suddenly you're trying to brush longer than you normally do Well, I'm always trying to brush longer Because I think I'm a short I think I don't brush my teeth You're both short brushers Yeah, but I find that you're longer than me though

No, because I'm trying to be longer than you Oh yeah But when I'm alone I don't But I feel like you once said to me You're not, I feel like you once called me out For not brushing long enough I think it's because I know that I'm a quick brusher So when you were quicker than me

I was like, damn Yeah, this guy, yeah So I just I don't have the patience for I don't have the patience either But I try to be like, okay, it's get each side, under, over, gag a little. But since we switch to an electric toothbrush, I find myself more inclined to relax and be focused. True. And the vibration feels kind of good, let's be honest. Yeah, so I can settle into my toothbrushing.

Not that we're doing a quip ad today, but, you know, we like to call them out. I do kind of like my toothpaste to be a little wet. though. Yeah. Like I like it wet and I don't like when it's too sticky. Have you ever, have you ever accidentally brushed you, what you put the toothpaste on

and you, you forget to wet it? Yeah. Yeah. But I just, I just persist. You persist. Yeah. But, you know, I have, I have done it. It's definitely not as nice of a sense.

I know where we differ. Okay. You're, as I brush, I'm, messy like it's fallen out of my mouth you know and I'm spitting throughout I'm spitting throughout you brush brush brush brush brush and then at the end you do a

spit and you're out yeah I've never been as I've never been much of a rinser actually yeah I'm a rinser I'm gluck gluck in that shit like it's all over my face when I'm brushing my teeth like nothing is safe where you're

very organized with it and then you take it and you just go, and you leave. I spit, and then I rinse, I have more action. Also, I love, then you leave the bathroom, and then I'm in there for another 10 minutes doing my stuff, and you're always like, what are you doing in there? Come in bed.

And I'm like, sorry that I'm putting on my serums. I'm moisturizing. I'm flossing. I'm staring at myself trying to question if I'm living my life to the fullest. Do I regret anything that I said to anyone today. Is anyone mad at me? Where are you? Why don't you go to bed? Let's write it down. Great bit. So, um, let's crack on here. Oh, this is, this is controversial.

Okay. So I need to address some truly psychopathic behavior. My fiance doesn't like peanut butter. And I can understand not liking onions, tomatoes, the common things that people are like, oh no, I absolutely cannot have mustard. But peanut butter? Like, we can't share desserts. We can't share smoothies. We can't share protein powder. Like, and it's a, it's a non-negotiable. He will not even kiss me after I've ate peanut butter. I mean, he will but he doesn't enjoy it like so strange so yeah like that is something that we will continuously disagree on until he just submits and decides that he in fact enjoys peanut butter because i just think that's insane like i it's the red flag it is the red flag now this is this is

interesting what's your take did she say if he prefers almond butter no no no i think i think he's just not a nut butter guy yeah maybe it's texture for him? I think it's the texture and the smell. But here's the thing. This is not as uncommon as this woman thinks. A lot of people hate peanut butter. Do you know that Aiden, my brother,

as a child, hated peanut butter. In adulthood, he doesn't mind it, but he did not like peanut butter as a kid. Like people, some people don't like peanut butter. And this is why, another mental health moment, if you realize someone doesn't like you, just remember there's some people out there who hate peanut butter.

Yeah. It's not you, it's them. So have I ever told you my father's peanut butter story? No. So, I didn't know that my dad hated peanut butter. And this isn't a death story, but it is my dad dying story,

okay? So I'm... Very different. Very different. I'm aware that I'm always talking about death, but my father, you know, he had cancer and he was getting chemotherapy for lung cancer. And the doctor was like, your job is to get your dad to eat. Like, I need this guy getting calories

because he won't want to eat, you know? So they're going to have to force him to eat. So he was like, listen, just have him drinking and sure, you know. And he said, peanut butter is great. You know, peanut butter is full of protein, full of calories. You can get a lot of calories in like a small scoop of peanut butter, right? So my dad's fucking, like, fighting to stay alive.

He's miserable, and I'm, like, fucking forcing peanut butter down his throat, right? And he's like, oh, God, I hate peanut butter, man. Come on, stop a guy. I was like, Dad, you got to think I'm doing the thing, you know, think I'm being like the good son's like, you got to get this peanut butter down you, you know? It's like, you fed me when I was a kid. Now, get this fucking peanut butter into your mouth. Anyway, when, you know, I wrote the book about my dad, right?

So my father had a couple of times in his life attempted to write a memoir. So the bits of his memoir that I could find, I included them in the book about my father. And my father had a terrible childhood, right? I'm not going to get into all the details. It was really horrific. And he ended up in the foster care system because, well, anyway, his mother went to jail,

and his father was deemed unfit to look after him. So he ends up in foster care, and he ate the peanut butter from the jar of the foster family that he was in. And at some stage, he must have been upstairs. They didn't realize he was upstairs. And the mother of the house, and I guess her friend, he could overhear them talking in the kitchen.

And she was saying, I mean, he's all right, but he ate all the peanut butter. And, you know, she was like, you know, it's quite kind of like in a way of making it seem like it was a big deal that he ate the peanut butter. And he was so ashamed that he'd ended up in a situation where, like, people were more worried about their peanut butter than about him. And he wrote this down as one of the low points in his life.

And he said, and I've never been able to eat peanut butter again since that day. And when I read that, I was like, oh, God. And you're shoving it down his throat on his deathbed. My poor dad, like, struggling from chemo. And I'm like, get this peanut butter down you. And not only does he find it disgusting, but it's like the biggest PTSD, trigger of his life. So anyway, point is, some people don't like peanut butter. I do have to say, yeah, also, they might actually like it, but you never know what

traumatizing thing happened to them as a child. Yes. And also, I will point out, I love peanut butter, but I don't love the smell of peanut butter off somebody's breath. So I don't, yeah, you're very sensitive to smell. Yeah, but I understand like somebody like, oh, do you just have peanut butter or peanuts? You know, like I like popcorn, but I hate to smell of popcorn when somebody else is eating it. It's funny. I was going to say popcorn's one of those things that as a kid, I think we went to see one of the Star Wars. And I, for the first time, got my own popcorn tons of butter. And I must have ate it at an insane fast rate. And then I, of course, puked. And then I wasn't able to smell popcorn for like years after that. There's like a fatty heaviness to it. So like I could see that. Also, no one ever wants to open a jar of peanut butter and see the oil up top. No. No. Nasty. Yeah.

Even natural yogurt with the liquid. But why is it? There's certain foods that just, they have a smell that doesn't really relate to their flavor. You ever notice that? Like popcorn, when you're not eating it, I don't know. It's just not a great smell. But there's also a lot of food that once it starts tasting too much like it, you get off it. Do you know what else?

Or chicken? Do you know what else? I can't, I can't. relate the taste to the smell is rice cakes. Rice cakes, when somebody else is eating them, I find the smell just, I can't handle it.

But they actually don't have that strong of a taste. Yeah, but they have like a smell. But they do have a distinct smell. You're right. I do think couples, like people having certain little food habits. I mean,

me and you fight over the ketchup, you're kicking the ketchup touching anything. Bring it up ketchup packets. Well, actually, So speaking of ketchup, there is something else about ketchup, which I think, this needs to be resolved. This is like an issue. Is it refrigerator or not refrigerator? Hi, it doesn't hand a banana.

I am just writing in, calling in, about something that you constantly fight over. And for us, it is keeping ketchup in or out of the fridge, butter in or out of the fridge, eggs in or out of the fridge, maple syrup in or out of the fridge. It's a lot of temperature control and food. Well, we need, she's right. And I want the FDC, the FDA, FDA, CDC. Do they still exist? Whoever still exists. Yeah, whatever government agency still exist.

Can someone tell us what we're supposed to do? It's funny because I was like thinking of ketchup in a, in a bottle, not refrigerated, disgusted. plastic disgusting but then if it's glass or if it's in a little packet I'm fine with it not being refrigerated but that's weird but what so what is the actual

what is the facts like is it okay to leave it out like we need a mom no I'm just Googling this because this is one of these things because I have an opinion on the eggs and the butter too but let's let me just look up can you leave ketchup out I feel like you love leaving butter out

Okay, well we're going to talk about that But let me just It makes sense because I hate when the butter's too hard to even use Yeah While it's generally recommended to refrigerate ketchup After opening to maintain quality and prevent spoilage You can keep it up for a limited time Especially if you use it frequently

So that's according to AI overview on Google So let's ask about butter Because we always refrigerate my butter but if I know that I'm going to be using the butter a lot in a day, I will leave it out. And traditionally, in Ireland, anyway, you know, you had like a butter tray and you actually left the butter out

because it's so much nicer to have soft butter. But then I do get paranoid that if you leave it out for too long, so let's find out, can you leave butter out? Because this is something that people need to know. It is dairy. Yes, you can leave butter out for a short period, but it's best to keep it refrigerated for longer storage, longer storage, and to maintain its quality.

The USDA recommends leaving butter at room temperature for no more than one to two days. And it is advisable to store only the amount you'll use within that time frame to enjoy its optimal taste, which honestly, I'm very much of the opinion that that's the way to do it. You don't want it to melt and then you freeze,

get out hard again and unhardened. Yeah, so I feel like when I'm like on my game, when I wake up in the morning I'm about to make coffee, I take the butter out. like just the amount that you know maybe a generous amount that might be used in that day and then leave it out so during the day especially if we've bought like a loaf

of if we bought a loaf of sourdough and I know I'm going to go hard on the butter then I think it's great when it's out especially Kerry Gold Irish butter which I believe this year was rated the best butter you know some some butter competitor

tried to lead a campaign against Kerry Gold last year on TikTok which I knew was fucking fake news but anyway best butter on the market salted butter tends to keep better than unsalted butter just so you know but i've always found that if you leave butter in an airtight container then um that is the best way so anyway eggs also is another one should we should we check that sure i wish people tend to leave eggs out actually i'd say they might they might call me out on that but who needs fridges can you leave eggs out no you should not leave eggs out overnight as they are

perishable and should be refrigerated to prevent spoilage and potential bacterial growth. FDA recommends that refrigerated eggs should not be left out of the refrigerator for more than two hours or one hour when temperature is above 90 degrees Fahrenheit. Interesting. It is fine. People do deal with leftovers different. Like I was more of a leftover family. Yes. Everything was left over. Yeah. And then you, your turnoffness to leftovers has kind of turn me off a little bit. Interesting. Because you're like, oh, and then I'm like, oh, am I, like, what? You're braver with the, but I don't think you've ever, I don't think you've ever truly

had food poisoning, which I think that might have something to do in it. Yeah. Whereas I had it so bad. I more have a consistent, subtle food poisoning every day. Yeah. So I just have such an aversion to getting food poisoning that I'm probably overly cautious. I feel like there's also, you notice with your significant other. how long they microwave things for.

Oh, well, I just try to microwave the right amount. Yeah. But you know, some people, they don't know. They don't know. They do it too long. Well, Hannah, one thing I know about Hannah, is that no matter how long you're meant to microwave it for, she will always stop the microwave 10 to 20 seconds before she gets to the end of the time.

I will never let the microwave beep. And that's one thing about me. If Hannah was a serial killer, she would end up getting caught because she would be like the 10 second serial killer. Every house, it's like the microwave was not fully completed. No one knows what time it is because the microwave says 12 seconds on it all the time. That's me. I don't know.

I don't have the patience. And I don't know why would you wait for it to start beeping and like disrupt the energy? Because you've made a decision on the time. Yes. You've made, you know. But over the years I have perfected. the amount of time that you need to make oatmeal in the microwave, but that was only from trial and error of

you know, when you go too long, it goes all over the place. It's disgusting. All right. God, there is so, there's so many. What's this? This one I don't have the full title. Oh, I know what it is. This is one of, this is one that relates to us. Okay. Hi, Hannah and does. I fucking love you guys. I'm going to try to be quick because I never am.

Um, one little thing that my fiance and I constantly fight about and it literally turns into like three days. We're not speaking. I will always say, yeah, let's start a movie. Let's start a show like I'm super down. I'm completely awake. It's only seven o'clock. And then without fail every time I'm falling asleep. And he's the type of person who like, when he watches a movie, he watches a movie. And I'm the type of person who like, I'll put a movie on and do like eight other things. but specifically the falling to sleep part is a real issue because he will wait to re-watch parts of a show or a movie with me and I'll be like, yeah, let's do it. And then I will fall asleep so he's essentially re-watching that movie or show for the second or even sometimes the third time. It's become a huge issue with us and I'm really trying to not commit to movies or shows before. I feel like we and you have solved this dilemma though.

Which is... Because we start a movie at least. like eight or nine you fall asleep i watch a decent amount of it or a show but i don't go too far and then you wake up in the morning at six a m and by the time i'm up and adam you've already watched everything yes but always caught up yeah but what about the part of this with the not concentrating on what you're watching okay valid i do think sometimes sometimes i will look at my phone And it's always the moment that something integral happens. And then I try to pretend I didn't need to know information.

Yeah, and then I'm like, wait, why? And then I'm like, wait, why? And you're like, get on your fucking phone! You get on your phone! I'm not explaining it. I'm not explaining it. Yeah, because I'm trying to be in the moment, you know? And then I'll be like, sorry I'm working for this family and responding to a very important email.

And you're like, no, you're not. No, you're a workaholic. Oh, yeah, but the thing is that. But you're not doing that. Most of the time you've got distracted by like, oh, my God, Taylor Swift, you know, was at a vintage store or something? You know, they could just be some fucking thing that you started reading. I definitely am guilty of like something gets kind of boring.

So I look at my phone. And then I realize I miss something. So I rewind it. And then it's still boring. So I look at my phone again. And I miss it. And I'll rewind it like four times. You're stuck in like an ADHD loop.

Yeah, that happens for sure. but um yeah i'm getting better at it so so this i you know there was so many versions of this complaint that came in but you know i i people have a lot of issues with like what are we going to watch together and we have that to a degree except that like we're not that precious about it in that like if there's something you really want to watch i'm just like fine watch it i'm going to go read a book or something. You know what I mean? Like, we don't care. Like, it doesn't have to be this mutual, but it's great when we find

something that we're into together. Can I tell you what I've been doing a joke on the Gigley Squad shows about, we've talked about remotes and how whoever holds the remote in a relationship. It's kind of like a metaphor for something. Right. Page would joke that despite what people say, she actually likes to

empower her man, and she lets him have, she lets him start with the remote, but then he ends up like sitting on it and like doing the wrong thing and then she's like gets mad at him and then she ends up having the remote and i was like that's crazy because i feel like you're the des because you let me have the remote but then you sit back and you go watch that with your friends not with me nope i'm not watching that crap with you watch it on your own time but i'm like putting myself

out there with the creative vision like looking through while you're watching me try to pick something for the night but it's funny because you don't i i typically have to have the remote. Yeah, because I'm not, because honestly, like, I have, I have very specific things that I want to watch and, like, I tend to watch them on my own during the day because I'm not a good evening TV watcher. See, and that's where I thrive. Yeah, so I never really, I'm not precious about whatever you decide to watch because I know

I'm going to pass out, you know? So that kind of, that kind of helps us in our relationship. Do you know it's something that like brings on a rational anger from the other person like that is not deserved more than anything? And this goes from one way to the other. And that is whoever accidentally sits on the remote and like changes the channel by accident and like whoever does it. It's like, what the fuck are you doing? You know, it's like you're watching a game or you're watching. You're so good of that.

What are you doing? What the fuck you do? I'll accidentally sit on it and goes out. You freak out. But then when you do it, quiet. That's not true. You do it. You're fine. No, you're, no, that's what I'm saying.

The other person is, it's almost like one of these things where you get a pass on your irrational anger. Because you're just like, what the fuck is going on? It's like right when they're like, and the reason I murdered her is and then it goes to black. Or it's like two outs, three, two, you know, man on third. What are you doing? and the ball game is over so anyway let's let's let's finish with a quick question

this won't require a lot of discussion okay so my husband and I always disagree on whether a rap is a type of sandwich or not I am a firm believer that a wrap is a sandwich in a different form just with different bread. He is a firm believer that a sandwich must come on to pieces of bread or in a role. And he is just fully incorrect. And we will never agree because he is absolutely wrong. And I am absolutely right. And he just can't see that.

I mean, they're all sandwiches. They're all sandwiches. A rap is when, like, you don't want to fully commit to a heavy-duty sandwich. It's a light sandwich. It's just semantics. They're all sandwiches. They're all bread and food mixed together to eat in a convenient way. Do you know what I saw just came out?

It was like, I forget which brand, but they're now selling bowls of subs. So it's the sub without the bread chopped up with like lettuce. So it's like a, it's like a burrito bowl, but instead like a sub sandwich bowl. bad news it's a fucking salad I got bad news for you it's a fucking salad man you know and I'm gonna say something controversial

I had to close a pot a pizza is just an open sandwich pizza's a fucking grilled cheese put some respect on pizza's name pizza's a fucking grilled cheese I love pizza I love pizza but I don't know why we're not trying to pretend that it's not a fucking baked

Open sandwich. Because it's made with dough that's flattened and a whole rigmarole, not just like... Every sandwich you've ever eaten is made with dough. I know, but it's... No, you have to appreciate the culture. No, I appreciate the culture, but what I'm trying to say is that there's this... Okay, is a cassidia sandwich? It really is.

But obviously, you know, it's just... It's a grilled cheese wrap. It's a Mexican sandwich. sandwich. But, you know, at the end of the day, it's just semantics. That's the whole thing. It's like, it doesn't matter. I don't care that people don't think a pizza is a sandwich, but I know that it's a fucking fancy grilled cheese.

Right? Look at that. Look at the 50% of you just dying inside. My Italian businesses just rolled in their grave. What do you put ketchup on it too? I certainly don't. You would. You would. And then where would you put the ketchup packet

to come full circle? All right, well, listen, this was a fun app. Fun app. We might have to continue this next week. I think so. I mean, not only did I not get through all the ones that I picked, but like there's so many more that I haven't even read yet on the Telby. So, well done, guys. So fun.

And, hey, I'm in Miami next Sunday. And then I'm in Indianapolis and St. Louis. And I have to tell you that Indianapolis and St. Louis, I have a lot of. lot of tickets to sell there. So if you know anybody in those areas, spread the word. Then I'm in Denver, Phoenix, Stanford, Connecticut. I'm in Mohegan, Sun. And I think one or two other places that I can't remember. But Miami's my next show that you guys need to come to. I'm going to be in Brooks, California and Highland, California. Both are casinos outside of like Sacramento and outside to L.A. and then Ridgefield, Connecticut, Red Bank, New Jersey, Hampton Beach, New Hampshire,

which I've never done. And then West Hampton Beach, baby. Yeah. So come and check us out. Don't forget, the Bishop Exchange comes out on Wednesdays, me and John Bishop, if you want more of the boomer humor vibe. And although we did get quite political this week. So if you want to actually hear some political discussion, go to the Bishop Exchange. And as always, Giggly Squad, as you know, I mean, I'm pretty sure that most of the people here are Gigglers, but just in case you don't know, the book is coming out next week, right? Yes. What was Hannah doing there on her phone?

Oh, I thought we were done. No, I was promoting your stuff. Oh, yeah, you guys, my book is dropping in 11 days. Me and Page wrote How to Giggle. Great read. Great read. My family loves it. Yeah.

So take that with a grain of salt. And get it right now at, um, Amazon, Barnes & Noble's, wherever you get your books. What's the actual release date? April 15th. Oh, very exciting. All right, everybody. We'll see you next week.

Bye. Bye.