Berner Phone #87: Best Phone Apps

April 21, 20250 comments♥ 0
00:00Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop.Thanks for calling the burner phone.If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast.Hello, my little dialers. It's mom and dad. We hope you're having a wonderful week.Yeah. I was so much like...positivity. And also just like gentler and quicker than your, than your norm.Oh, because normally I just go on a rantYou start yeah you just normally just like gonna go off on one
00:34You caught me by surpriseI also realize I've I've situated myselfIn a not good way that I have toI have to turn to face you so I need toOh yeah that can hurt your neck babeI need to change my positionYou're actually sitting in my normal spotI understand but I needed I needed the I needed the plug
00:53For myIt's okay I'll let you sit in my spotSo here we areanother episode of burn it phone very early in the morning for hannah everybody we've we're recording alittle late it's sunday morning easter sunday happy easter the lord has risen and uh so the the logisticsof the pod are not the norm so hannah you say that every week though no but but this is likethis is before 10 o'clock sorry that's why my intro was short right yeah because you're not asyou know, it's bubbly.
01:28And I said, did you have a coffee?And you said, yeah, but what you meant was I poured myself a coffeeand you haven't drank it because I'm looking at it.That's my second one.Is it?Well, the first one was small and then I realized there was extra coffee in the pot.So I added that in.Whoa.
01:43So we might have a real problem 20 minutes into the pod.When you're walking through the grass and it's hanging at your ass,diarrhea, bum, bum, diarrhea.Did you have those things when you were kids?No.We had all these stupid songs that was.was one of them. And then there was like other ones. I can't remember. But anyway, little, little,little dirty rhymes. You actually thought of the prompt this week. I didn't think of it.
02:07It came from a dialer. Oh, a dialer. Honestly, I can't remember the last time we did a prompt that didn'tcome from a dialer. True. The dialers know what's up. So basically what happens is a dialermessages me with a suggestion. I screenshot it. You screen shoot it. Well, I screen, I wasWhat is the grammar?You screenshot it.Well, I screen shoot it because grammatically, I wasn't,grammatically, I'm speaking, I wonder what is the, what is the tense?He screenshot it.
02:34No, I'm because I'm speaking.You screenshot it.I know, I'm speaking generally.So I'm not saying about one dialer.I'm saying the process is dialers message me, right?I screen shoot it.The grammar, it's obviously screenshot is a new word.screenshot is a new word.
02:52But I wasn't speaking about thisone particular dial. It's not just a word.Screenshotting is my religion.I was speaking in general about the process.I actually can't even remember what tensethat is. You've already lostme. Yeah. I feel like it's like thepresent perfect
03:08tense. Anyway, it doesn'tmatter.My brain can't process it right now.Grammar. Grammar should just happen.You shouldn't have to study that. Speaking of grammar,how to giggle is officiallyout. Oh, that's right. Thank God for AutoCorrect. We're waiting for the New York Timesbestseller list to come out. It is funny how like... Because I'm sick and tired of watching you have
03:32three or four fucking kids books in front of you on the Amazon list. I actually would love to write akid's book. Yeah, there's like a little kid book mafia out there, man. Yeah. Well, it's Easter books. I guessfor you... Oh, are they Easter books? Yeah, they're Easter books. Oh, that makes sense. But I mean... So you'reup against the seasonal. I would have thought Christmas books would be a problem. I never thoughtthat Easter, you're up against the seasonal Easter issue. Yeah, so these kids are, you know,at least kids are reading. Yeah, it's great. At least there's a future for the children.Um, and then the let them theory is our biggest, our biggest beef. The what? The Mel Robbins bookLet Them sells like 80,000 copies a week and I don't know if we can compete with that. So,
04:20But are we saying that Mel Robbins is now like an enemy of the gigglers or you support her?Oh, I support her.I support all women in the arts.I'm just saying from what I heard from the publishers.So they put us in miscellaneous, not in like fiction.It's not fiction.It's never going to be in fiction.Oh, no, sorry, instead of nonfiction.
04:44We're not in nonfiction.Oh, right.Even though we have, it's a lot of stories.I guess because we have a couple listical.we've been put into miscellaneous.Really?Yeah, which competes with like, you know, the let them theory.Well, yeah, because miscellaneous, you're up against everything.
04:59Everything.You can't be defined?Page can't even spell miscellaneous.I thought you guys couldn't be managed.I didn't realize you couldn't be defined.You're miscellaneous?Actually, that's a good name for a special.Miscellaneous?
05:11Miscellaneous.Except no one could spell it when they're trying to search for it.Yes.Okay.But anyway, we've had so much fun with the,book press it's been amazing hot take i love signing books i love drawing and i like the therapeuticness oflike the marker on the page over and over again i get this own and then page will be likeshe has you know very long dainty fingers so she's like i can't do it any longer and i'm like
05:41page come on this is my only therapy for the week well this is nice so um that was your first book signing rightWell, we actually signed 2,000.No, but that was your first, like, meeting the public book signing.We did one on Tuesday and one on Thursday.Did it feel like the movies?Like, did it feel like when you would see a book signing in the movies?I've never seen a book signing in the movies.I always feel like, I feel like there's, like, a lot of, like,
06:08there's a scene in a lot of movies where it's like, like, your enemy shows upor somebody shows up with the book signing.Yeah, or someone, like, when the main characters have, like, a good,they're blowing up and, like, they write a book.and they're at a book signing.Yeah, and then like their ex shows up.It's like, I know who you really are.The funny thing of someone who showed up was Isis,
06:28who's the girl who I did crowdwork at my special.And immediately I recognized her,and she was with her mom.And I haven't seen her since the special came out.So I was like, ISIS!And I hugged her and it was really fun.How has her life changed since she became the focus of your crowdwork?She has bodyguards now.
06:47She's a big deal.She's wearing sunglasses.Yeah,all want to hire her to be in the front row so they can all make jokes about that the fact that her name alsorepresents a major terrorist organization she went to them at rife show was that after or beforeafter oh after and he did a whole thing and he posted it and then the comments were all likeHannah did this in her special so then he did like a collab post with me um so she's yeah she's a comics giftto the world and then a girl came up and this is in barns and nobles in midtown and
07:19And she was like, can I do the worm for you?And I was like, can I film it?And I was like, yeah.So little Barnes & Noble's girls doing the worm and everyone's cheering.It was so cute.There were also never so many hot girls at Barnes & Noble's.And people were very confused.They thought there was a Sephora sale.
07:42What would be like, what would be another book that would come out that would like, well,Well, like, probably like the third, the third novel of 50 Shades of Grey.But that, again, that's not Hawker.Anyone enjoys 50 shades of gray.So, so you're saying that only Hawker is going to enjoy Giggly Squad?Yeah.No, what I'm saying.Gilly Scott is the specific demo of hot, successful, smart, funny women.
08:09Okay.And then again, I'm biased.I think all the gigglers are beautiful.Yes.You're like, you're like a parent.I am.For the gigglers.That's why they call you mom.
08:21Oh, and then occasionally there's a Gen Z who like compliments my outfit.And there's some jenzy.You feel better about yourself?Yeah.All right.So this prompt came in from a dialer.Oh, yeah.We didn't even say the prompt here.
08:38Yeah, well, because it went off on one.We got into grammar.It's okay.Hannah had a panic attack because we have two recording devices in front of us.And one of them is.Using one, and Hannah's one was empty.And she was like, oh, my God, we're not record.We've just wasted all this gold.
08:53My dad is walking around the background.Eventually, I'm going to say the prompt.No, I'm not letting you.My dad's in the background.He's having a full main character movie moment.He's looking out on the porch.Now he's checking his phone.He's a big burner phone listener.
09:08He's, I feel like he'll appreciate the shout out.Yeah.So let's get into it.So the prompt came from a dialer.And it was the best app on your phone.right and I was excited by it more just like this is like a PSA episode like let's learn yeahlet's learn about some apps I like when's productive but one thing I will say is you know you reallyyou really it's very easy to rip on all the like popular apps but they must be the most popular
09:38because I was shocked the amount of people that like came in with the ones we all usesurprise me but I'll try to pick a couple of umyou know, well, let's start with the one that shocked me.Okay.But I feel like it's kind of one of these ones where if you got it,you might get into it.Okay, here we go.Hi, Hannah.
09:57Hi, Des.My absolute favorite app on my phone is the Merlin Bird ID app.You can look up all different kinds of birds,but the best part is you can record a bird.Like if you hear one in your yard, wherever you are,you're like, what's that bird?You start recording, and it's like Shazam for birds.It'll tell you what bird is singing near you.
10:20Enjoy that.Happy spring.Wait, she's literally Cinderella.Or what's the...Cinderella?What?What's the Disney movie where all the birds...Is it snow white?
10:32I don't even know.Wait, this is so cute.It's so...Because this, I've never been into birds.But I had a friend who came out to me as like,into birds.Oh, did you say it's gay?No, and he was like,
10:50we were like walking, we were in Taiwanof all places, and we were walking around.And he was like, oh yeah, that's a whatever.And it's like, it's amazing how interesting it is.He became a bird watcher.Wow.And like, everybody gets into their stuff.But I think that I, if I had this app,
11:06I think it wouldn't take that long before I would get into it.Shazam for birds is amazing.That's a great description.As New Yorkers, if you're in Manhattan,you don't hear a lot of birds.That's why I always liked Brooklyn and Queens.Well, actually, you hear a lot of birds in Flushing Queens.In Eastern Flushing, where I grew up, we did actually hear a lot of birds.
11:26Yeah, in Brooklyn.Oh, sorry.I thought you said you don't hear a lot of birds.Oh, no, I said Manhattan you don't.But Brooklyn and Queens, you do.Sorry, my bad.What?We are working on our listening.
11:36No, I just heard you incorrectly.We should do Shazam for married couples where the person talks, but you don't really listen,but then you just Shazam it, and it summarizes what the person said.the way, just quick digression, because you don't listen back to the pod.What?Do you know that Chris did do a rewind on the you saying about the fridge thing?Mm-hmm.Do you remember that?
11:56Mm-hmm.He did it.It was very funny.Oh, he did it?Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Our listeners will know.I'm going to say, it's getting off topic, but you know people are married when you'll behanging out and everyone's talking to each other and then the married couple says something
12:15to the other person.the other person doesn't respond and then you say it again they go what like you don't processthe person's voice it's like become like like like you hear the voice so often that it becomes likeit doesn't register it just becomes like white noise yeah like when you first move into an apartmentin manhattan you're like oh my god it's so noisy and then a year later you're like a friend comesit's like it's so noisy it's like no it's not it's like a smell when you first walk into apartmentlike it smells in here but when you're here all the time you're like there's no smell yeah my that wasmy mom and dad were like trying to get each other's attention yesterday
12:49and everyone could hear my mom yelling his nameand he just wasn't listening.Because he was talking about basketball.Yeah.But anyway, what I was saying is yesterdayI was listening to the bird noisesand it was just so cute how there were all these different singing songs happening.I mean, I'm getting this app because I would be curious to find out the different birds.
13:07Now, I have to say, it's not a golf podcast, but I was watching the Masters last week.And you know, there's this big controversy about the bird noises.I never heard of thatSo you know the way you're always hearing the birdsIt's not they're not thereDid you know that?NoThey're not there
13:26The birdsThey're added in by CBSIn postYesAnd peopleNot in post, in liveIt's a live broadcastSo the golfers can hear it
13:40The golfers can hear itIt's going outOn the TV, it's going out with bird noises.Yeah, in post is what I mean.No, I know, but I'm sorry, yeah, but no, no, it's live though.What I'm saying is that that's a live broadcast.But I'm saying on the ground.No, no, on the ground, no, yeah.
13:58But no, and posts suggest like in editing.Yeah, but I'm saying they're added, they're editing it after the raw footage.No, it's the broadcast is live.They're putting it in live.We're fighting about the same thing.No, I understand, but there's no editing.Yeah.Well, the edit is adding the bird noises.
14:17Yeah, but it's going out at the same time.Okay, so what's the controversy?Because they're not real.They're fake.It's AI.No, because people think...Birds are like, can you hire real birds for this?So anyway, the reason why I bring this up is because, you know, I had looked it up recently
14:34because I said to somebody, you know those birds aren't there?And they were like, really?And I looked it up.And loads of people were saying, and loads of those bird calls are not...not native to Augusta.And I was thinking, like, how the fuck did I know that?And I was thinking, oh, it's all these birdwatchers.But most likely, it was people using this app.
14:53It was people shazamming birds.So what are they mad at, that they're taking jobs from the birds in Augusta?No, what they're mad at is like, why are you trying to pretend that these birds are there?They're not there.Is it an ASMR thing?I think they're just trying to make it seem more peaceful.Yeah, I think it's ASMR.Like, when people turn on golf, if it's just, like, silent with murmurs, it's boring.
15:14But it seems like CBS is the only network that does that, though.And it's particularly strong at the Masters.It's like they really want to create this allure of tranquility at the Masters.Everyone was very into the Masters this last week.But I was like, there's an insane amount of bird watchers that watch the Masters.But now I realized that it was probably this app.What did she call it again?Because I actually didn't write down.
15:36I wrote down Shazam for Birds to remind me.What was the name of the app again?It's too early.The listeners can go back.Chris, go back.Roll the tape.He did it. He did theRoll the tape.
15:51The MerlinBird ID app.Hot take,the Masters is under fire becausethey set the ownerhead of the Masterssaid that they couldn't do a woman'smaster's
16:06which makes no sense.Yeah, he saidwhat is that?My dad.oh really my dad is down there they're trying to play tennis right now shouting okaykeep keep going oh no he said something like it would hurt the magic of the masters if therewas a woman's masters yeah he said yeah I can't even I couldn't even figure out me start I'lldisrupt golf you just tell me when I'll disrupt that golf course um so uh anyway that's a cool app
16:42we've gotten a lot out of itAnd I do have to say with apps, I'm very guilty of apps are very good at targeting ads.So I would, I'll see an app that I'm like, ooh, that'll change my life.I'm going to learn about history or like, oh, a stretching app.I'll suddenly be a stretching fiend.And like I just waste $30.Oh, I've done that so many times.God, I wish I could think of the editing apps that I've purchased.
17:07Oh, yeah.Captions.Calorie counting.Oh.Captions apps.God, what are some of the?other big ones that I've gotten that a photo editing apps I do have to say and this isn't anad but rocket money does help you with some of your subscriptions yes you don't realize you have yes
17:26which we have done ads for them before but that that does help yes like actually even if youeven if you don't use rocket money a good thing to do every now and then is go into if you have anif you have an iPhone go into your Apple ID and check your subscriptions because you wouldIt's de-influenced.You would be surprised how many times you'll be like, oh, shit, that annual one is coming up for renewal soon and I don't use it.It's like $70.Yeah, some big one.Because also it gets downloaded and then obviously you forget you downloaded it.
17:56I remember I once was like, I'm downloading this stretching app.It's going to save my life.I'm going to become, I never used it once.Yeah, the Chris Hemsworth exercise app, knees over toes guy, which I'm using the ATG technique, but you don't.need the app. I mean, shout out to Ben Patrick. Great system. But like, the app is kind of pointless.I also was becoming an adult when, like, apps were the big bubble where everyone in Brooklynwas in a coffee shop inventing a new app. Yes. A lot of them did all right. All right. Okay,here we go. This is going to surprise you. Don't have a heart attack. Hi, Hannah. Hi, hi, Dez.
18:38So my favorite app on my phone is Reddit. But,hear me out. I just go on it to the Boston Terrier subreddit. I have a Boston Terrier. She'sthe love of my life. And it's just such wholesome content. And sometimes there's this onedog named Molly that the owner always posts her bringing little things. It's called MollyTrades for Treats. And she'll be bringing them like a dryer sheet, a stick, money.Um, socks, beanies. And it just brings joy to my day. Also, when my daughter and I are like bored inthe car, we'll just look at these cute little dogs. And, you know, it's a parenting hack also.Okay. That's all. Thank you. Bye.
19:32Sorry to break it to you. If Molly gets too popular, they're going to start hating on her.You're like, Molly's not even that cute.Really, another dryer sheet?You did that last week, Molly.Get some new material.I knew you'd be triggered by this.Also, her hair's stupid.She looks like shit.
20:01Wash your hair.Do you wash her hair?Molly thinks she's better than all the other dogs.Um, so, now, I have to, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why is Molly so much likeBill Burr?Um, why is Molly shouting?I feel like Molly is copying, she, she's copying, Toto, like, get your own personality.Yeah, Molly, I've seen this meme before.
20:40I don't know why people love Molly so much.She's kind of boring.boring. Molly's overrated.So I just want to say,so obviously Hannah and I are joking about the toxicity of Reddit,which is why I said to Hannah don't have a heart attack.Because I actually think that Reddit creates some of the most toxic behavior on the internet.And I know that it's kind of like,
21:09it's like entry level toxicity compared to like four.Chan and A. Chan and all that and like the dark side of the internet. But there is like somesevere cyberbullying that goes on with Reddit. It becomes like a group mentality becauseeveryone's there for the same reason. So it's easy to think like, oh, this opinion is valid.Yeah. And there's something about that. There's something about the format that can lead to sometoxicity. However, what I do end up on Reddit. I feel like Reddit is like the light and thedarks of the internet. You know?You have no idea how that sounded in the mic.
21:44Sorry, I'm slurping my coffee.Hanna was having a drink of coffee in a large plastic cup and going, uh-huh, uh-huh, and it came out like this.Oh.Oh.Also, this cup caused a lot of drama online.Why?It's a square cup and people were like, you're psychotic.Really?
22:03Yeah, I thought it was just cute.Wow.But, um, so anyway.I was saying I end up on Reddit because, you know, I'm searching for random things like Celebrity Heights or, like, like, you know,Heights or like a question about something. And Reddit has all these very informationalthreads. I'll be like, oh, who's a good nail salon in Soho? Yes. And Reddit is where you get a lotof good. So it's the light and the dark of the internet. Yeah. So actually in recent years,because I was always quite against Reddit, at forums in general, because in the early days of my
22:32comedy career in Ireland, forums were the only way. And, you know, there really was some darknessin there. But I will also say that when you have aspecific niche thing that you need to get into, like severance or like ACL.So I really actually got quite active on the ACL recovery Reddit and like got tons ofactually really good information out of there because it's pretty easy to tell the bullshitbecause it's always like an asshole that's like, why you why are you here?Go to a doctor.It's like, oh, whatever, dick, right?
23:06But you do get a lot of good information.Well, because people can be open and honest about their experience.and without judgment.I do think it builds community.It just depends what kind of community.Yeah, but some of them are good.Like, I think like a bird watching one would be good.The Boston Terrier one's good.
23:21For the TV shows, it's fun.It's basically like, oh, I can't talk to my friends about this.I'm going to go on Reddit,and they have good conspiracy theories about it.Love it.And information about actors and stuff.But it is...But what shocks me is sometimes I'll be listening
23:35to, like, the Severance podcast.And then one of the actors will be like,yeah, I was looking on Reddit.And I'm like, no!Get out of there!You're not safe there!Because there are one click away from something.Yeah, one click away from a bad day.
23:51A bad week.Yeah, because Miss Casey will be on there.And they're like, why does she, why does her mouth move that way?Yeah, and then she can never...For the rest of her career, she'd be paranoid about her mouth.Yeah, because some of these newer actors don't know that it's not safe.They don't know, man.Because at the beginning, it feels fun.
24:08Yep.And then the darkness.But anyway, so I will, I will say the reason why I wanted to put this in is because I really have had a few Reddits that really did help me.And somebody else, I'm not going to name any names, but I have a friend who, you know, lost his wife, you know, like, they're young, you know, well, he's my age.And so very tragic loss, you know, and he got a lot of solace from the, the widow, recently widowed Reddit.like a lot of like real help yeah you know so that's like that's like a real benefit yeah i do findwhen you have like things that happen to you that are painful that you like can't just likerandomly call a friend to talk about or that you're even just worried about um it's like better than
24:57webmd or webmd is like you're dying or something if you're like oh i've a weird you know itch inbetween my toes you could look at reddit and sometimes it like gives you valid information orsomeone's like, oh, it was fine in a couple days, and I'd been doing this.I had a good time on the narcissistic parent, read it.Oh. Yeah. I wasn't sure if I was looking at my past or my future.No, but it was interesting. The ones that were relevant, because obviously, like, that's a verybroad... Oh, my God. I remember discovering narcissistic abuse, and it was online.Like, after a relationship, I, like, I was really confused at what happened, and then I was Googling
25:38it and I was like doing all those quizzes you know but then like it became like oh this is a thingand you never hear about it in school you don't hear about it and you're like friend group I meanpeople like narcissists but like it's narcissistic abuse from parents or partners is a real thing and it takeslike recovery yeah but it was I got a kick out of it because not all of it was relevant to me but the onesthat were I was like oh shit damn this is this is just this is me look at us just discovering the internetwe're like do you know you can search things and there's people talking about itokay well we might as well we might as well get into one that we both usethis shocked me that this came up oh by the way I didn't even include it
26:20but the app that came up the most like hands down was the notes app yeah but I didn'tinclude it because we just did like a note episode on the notes app do you use the notes appdo you use the notes app all all the all the time okay it's it's one of my most usedapps. It's funny because it's just a rawyou know slate. It's a piece of paper.Yeah. It's literally a notepad, but it works.Well, that's, it's funny because comedy, there's liketwo types of comics, the comics that still have their
26:47notepad and then, like, the ones that use their notes app.Actually, do you know what one of the apps that's soshould be a good app and I think never works?The ruler app.I don't even know that was an app. Yeah, like I've tried to measure things.There's all these apps that say like, oh, take a picture and we can measure.It's a bullshit.You know, on the Burn of Phone podcast, we love to talk about how nice it is.
27:10When you get into a nice bed, well, bowl and branch sheets really add to the experience.Wrapping yourself in the softness so extraordinary that your body and mind effortlessly drift to sleep.Their signature sheets are made with the finest, 100% organic cotton,so you can spend every night in the softest feeling imaginable.These best-selling sheets feel buttery, breathable, and get softer with every wash.Discover the difference with Bolandbrand's 30-night guarantee.So Hannah and I, thanks to Boland-Branch, have draped our various beds, which sounds like a boast,but we have draped our various breads and Boland-Branch sheets.
27:52We love the way they feel on our skin.I know you guys are going to love them too.So feel the difference an extraordinary night's sleep can make with Bowen Branch.get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at bolandbranch.com slash burn.That's Boland branch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D branch.com slash burn to save 15%.Exclusions apply, C-Side for details.So, do you say data or data?Well, in my house, I don't even know if we say data or data.
28:29I'm so mixed up with my data's and data's, but for the last,longest time, I thought paying a fortune on my monthly data plan was just normal.And that was until I found out about Mint Mobile and their premium wireless plan that startat just 15 bucks a month.Say bye-bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw-dropping monthly bills, and unexpectedoverages.Mint Mobile is here to rescue you.All plans come with high-speed data or data, your choice, and unlimited talk and text
28:59delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.your own phone with any Mint Mobile planand bring your phone numberalong with all your existing contacts.Ditch overpriced wireless.Get three months of premium wireless servicefrom Mint Mobile for $15 a month.No matter how you say it, don't overpay for it.
29:19Shop data plans and mintmobile.com slash burner.That's mintmobile.com slash burner.Upfront payment of $45 for three months,five gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month.New customer offer for,first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra.C, mint, mobile for details.Oh, guys, I am so happy to talk about Headspace.
29:43Just to let you know, if you know nothing about Headspace,it's the app that has helped over 100 million people with their mental health and well-beingwith guided meditations, mindfulness practices, breathing and calming exercises, and so much more.But personally, for me, I have had times in my life where I have really,used headspace. Not only that, but I have actually bought a headspace as Christmas presentsfor numerous people in my life. I have bought subscriptions for them because you know you needmeditation in your life. You know you need mindfulness in your life. You know you need calmnessjust to center the mind. But the thought of just sitting down and doing it on your own,
30:24boom, you hit, go on the headspace app, you click on the different types of meditations thatthey have and straight away, you're in that space.If you feel like you only have five minutes, you pick a five-minute meditation.I mean, honestly, I really can't recommend this highly enough.You know, during the pandemic, there was a time in the pandemic, I was really riddled withanxiety and I would make sure religiously every day to have a headspate session.And, I mean, it really is fantastic.So if you're a total newbie or you've been meditating for years, there's always content for
30:58what you're going through.Have a shot.I promise you this will be a positive in your life.So feel good and mean it when you say it.For a limited time, get Headspace free for 60 days.60 days for free.Go to headspace.com slash burnerphone.That's headspace.com,
31:17H-E-A-D-S-P-A-C-E dot com slash burner phoneto unlock all of Headspace free for 60 days.Headspace.com slash burner phone.Anyway, so let's go.Hey, Hannah, hey, Dez.I've been waiting a long time for a good prompt for me,and I thought it would be a service industry,but mine didn't make it.
31:39Anyway, the best app on your phone is New York Times.It is the best app to open in the morningif you're a religious wordler like me.I have a 69-day streak right now,and I've almost gotten close to it so many times,and I just want to get rid of 69because of like clearer reasons but it's the best app because it has so many games thewordle is number one that's something that you have to do that day I've gotten really religious
32:10about connections too but I don't always finish connections I don't always get it rightbut the wordle is amazing and then when I'm at work and I have nothing to do I get on New YorkTimes I'm doing you know the mini crossword I can only doMonday real crosswords anywaysWell that's our religionI do have to say if you have troubleThat's a big part of our relationshipIf you have trouble falling asleep
32:36I highly recommendStart with WordleThen connectionsAnd then if you're still awakeMonday New York Times crosswordGo to the archiveAnd you will fall asleep every nightThat's what Hannah does to fall asleep
32:50I like to listen to like a podcastBut Hannah likes to hit the New York TimesCrosswordYeah because my brain gets very overwhelmedand tired immediately.Because it takes her long enough to do a Mondaythat she actually falls asleep.So does, look, I've been working on it in my stand-up,
33:05but it's been a little annoying.I ended up marrying a man who's smarter than me.I'm actually not smarter than you.I just happen to be better at crosswords than you.You're actually, I think you're probably better at Wurdle than me.It's hard to quantify because Wirtle is,I'm weirdly good at Wirtle.I'm weirdly good at Wirtle.
33:24But for some reason, you're just not as good.And I'm not, by the way, I'm not great.across. Like the furthest I can go without help is the Wednesday.Well, because you have knowledge of the 80s and these, a lot of his 80s references.It's geared towards older people. It's so annoying. They'll be like, who's this actor in thismovie from 1982? And I'm like, okay, ask me about a music video in 2008. Every now and then I'llbe stumped. I'll be like, Hannah, what was the name of Taylor's first album? You're like,duh. I know. It's actually not okay because pop culture I would crush it. But then there'll be one
33:57like the last premiere of the Soviet Unionbefore the collapse and how was I supposed to know that?No, I get really pissed offbut I'm competitive so I'm like trying to figure it out.But yeah, the New York Times app, it's totally worth it.Also, I got it as a gift for my Nana.She loves it.It's very communal with wordal and stuff.
34:18You can send it to your friendsso you all can like say how you did in the wordle.It's a really nice community.And I love puzzles.I love word games.and it's like a, it's cute.I like it a lot.What I love about this is that she was talking
34:32about the New York Times appand all she did was talk aboutthe New York Time Games app.Because I also get great useout of the actual New York Times.Yeah.Because, I mean, even though obviouslypeople love going at the mainstream media,
34:45but I promise you,you're still getting at least more accurate informationthan a lot of the placesthat complain about the mainstream media.And I still, I still stand by,despite the fact that there have been elementsof New York Times reporting over the yearsthat has been disappointing.
35:00I still stand by the New York Times.It's one of the better publications.The New York Times needs to have bigger font.You know you can make it bigger on your phone.Okay.I was worried about older people.I don't need it.No, because the actual paper you can't,
35:17but on the app you can make it bigger.I feel like it's a sad memory of likewhen your parents would get the New York Timesand it'll be laid out on the,and everyone's folding it up.in their, you know, ways.Yeah, we used to joke about that, that like, the, like, people on the subway or peopleon the Long Island Railroad, they read the New York Post and you're like, fucking fucking
35:39New York Times expert and they have like a, like, it's like doing origami.Origami, that's the word I was looking for.And they have it down to like one paragraph, they could just hold it in their hand.Yeah.But it was hard.And the Irish Times, like, God, this is getting too DESE now, too DESE, too DES, butThe Irish Times is actually bigger than the New York Times.The Irish Times was a hard flip.
36:03You had to really commit.You know the way New York Times to like turn the paint?You had to really like whip it?Yeah.The Irish Times, man.If you were too soft on that whip, you were going to have some problems.And there's that smell of the...Yeah, and the black ink on your fingers.
36:17Mm-hmm.Yes.The feeling and the look of the way we used to receive our informationbefore the Internet slowly corroborated.into what will soon be the end of the world.What's next?What's next?Sorry, Des.
36:33Is that catastrophizing?But I do feel that, by the way, just in case gigglers or gigglers, dialers, think that I'm joking.I do feel that the internet will probably be the thing that leads to our destruction,and I feel like we're closer than we've been.Okay, people are listening to this to try to start their week off nicely.Okay.Well, listen, if I understand people don't want the truth.So I'm going to put this in and I'll tell you why for a reason.
37:05Action.Springs, Earthlings.I come to you to talk about one of the best apps that I have on my phone.Hannah, don't get this app.It will destroy you.There's this app called Strava and you can record your bike rides.I like to mount a bike or your runs or pretty much any outdoor action.activity, or any activity can be inside.
37:29But especially for mountain biking or running, it shows your times on the leaderboards,and then you can go faster to be the fastest one on the segments.So it's like super, you know, I mean, if you're not competitive, whatever, but I'm prettycompetitive.So I've gone really fast on my bike just to try and beat people.And it's just fun.And then you get to track your fitness.And, you know, just beat people.
38:00I think that's a great act.I love her. She's like, when you want to just beat some ass.Yeah, but you're turning, you're basically turning your real rides into Peloton.Yeah. It's also, I'm, I'm very guilty of, like, starting a run and being like, this is so fucking boring.But if you feel like you're in a race, it could definitely motivate you more than if you were alone.That's why I do likeI haven't done it recentlybut Orange Theory
38:30it puts you alllike you're competingjust heart rate wiseso it's like you're battling yourselfand who's pushing themselves hardestbased on their stuffso a lot of the time when you're likeyou don't know if you're pushing yourself hard enough
38:44it helps you be likeoh I could do moreI think this is a great suggestion because I had actuallynever heard of it and I'm not saying upyou'd heard of itI've heard of it yeahI hadn't heard of it so there must beI'm assuming some people haven't.
38:57And, like, if you are into fitness,because sometimes, like, the fitness,like, this is really practical,because if you're somebody that does these things anyway,it does make it more fun.Yeah, for sure.And it builds community.Which, you know what?
39:07We've been learning people do like from these apps.Yeah, and when I was a big Peloton,I had my Pelton era, 2019, 2020.I was very into the board,even though it wasn't, people aren't honest.So I'll give an example, right?So there's a leaderboard.But some of the classes I would do,
39:25were biking and arms.So there would be gaps where you're just doing your arms.And you're not supposed to really be,you're just supposed to be like peddling lightly,but you could see some of these assholes.They weren't doing arms.They were running up the leaderboard.It's like, dude, who are you fooling?
39:42Who are you fooling, man?If you don't want to do arms, get the fuck off the bike.Go do a class with...Who is your favorite instructor?I mean, we've talked about this before, right?Honestly, at different times, I would like different people.Originally, I liked Allie Love, but then, as you know, because you caught me one day,because I did her, like, Sunday sermon.
40:05You know, she's my Instagram friend, right?Right.Well, listen, I've nothing bad to say about her, except one day I did her Sunday sermon,and there was just, like, too much, like...Because it was her Sunday sermon.New Age mumbo-jumbo, and I was just like...No, she was being kind and motivational, and you want someone to kick your ass.Yeah.
40:23Then for the most like soul cycle, I like Cody Rigsby because he was big into the dancing.And Pelton in general is not as into the dancing.So, and then honestly, because I love.Cody's also hilarious.Yeah, but because I love dance music, I was a big fan of Ben Aldous, the English guy.Because he played a lot of great house music.And like, honestly, he's probably my main guy.Ben Aldous, I think is.
40:52I don't know how to pronounce his name.What a time.But I had, I had, I like that one that left Jess King.I used her a lot.And then one of the, one of the people I found really hard was, God, what was her name?She, but she used to do the Tabata rides.The Tabada rides were hard.But anyway, the reason why I said that I put this in also, because actually it was, it was,
41:15I'm getting a lot more out of this one than I thought for myself.But very, if, if you are particularly an international drug,trafficker. You really should not use Strava. I don't know if it was Strava, but there, I was seeing aTikTok about, so I don't know if you know this, but there's actually an Irish family that are one of themost powerful people in international drug trafficking now. I'm not going to name them, but they arereal and they are currently based in the Middle East and they're on the run from a lot ofof different international organizations, including being on like the FBI Most Wanted list,and they can't really travel much in the world. However, recently somebody connected to them
42:05got caught and they are possibly going to be able to connect him to one of the kingpinsbecause he liked to log his jogs. So he was logging his jogs and it just so happened.that his jogs in different places also coincided with known visits of this guyin like unique places like Zimbabwe and other like odd locations where obviouslythere was international drug trafficking type meetings going on.So if you're somebody who is either in international drug trafficking or perhaps you'rethinking about murdering somebody or being involved in like a massivearmed robbery, just be careful about logging your jobs.
42:56That's why I've been joking on stage about how, like, pre-Iphone, it was so easy to get awaywith shit.And if you got caught, you were stupid.Yeah.But, like, nowadays, you can't do anything.You can't even cheat on your girlfriend.Oh, I wonder has cheating gone down.There's no stats on it.
43:17Well, I do feel like there's more opportunities to do it, but it's getting caught.more too so it's it's probably up in both more cheating and more catching yeah I'd like to getthe stats on that now you could cheat with bots what do you mean like guys are having relationships withAI bots oh are they actually yeah wow let me see if I can find another one that is like uniqueactually I'm gonna put down one that I put a big question mark on because I have no idea what they'retalking about and I thought maybe you would okay all rightI'm going to get some hate for this, but 2048 is going to live on my phone till the day I motherfucking die.All right, hear me out.
44:02I know that it's an outdated game and everyone's like, oh, it's not fun, it's two numbers, wrong,because you can just keep playing it and playing it and playing it over and over and over again.And it won't stop frustrating you, but it also won't stop entertaining you because you're going to be working your ass off to get that motherfucking 2048 tile.I've been playing for an embarrassing amount of years probablybut I'm what can I sayme and that bitch ball and chained together forever for lifevery passionate 2048 I used to play this game on the subway going to work every dayreally so is this like snake era it's it's kind of like candy crush but like less annoying
44:45where you're like you mean it's more skillful because the thing that always bug me about candy crushwas like, you could just really get lucky with candy.Yeah, this is more skillful and, like, numbers related.I actually, like, forget how to actually play it.But it's, like, one of those things that's, like, pleasurable.Like, it feels good, but you also, there's strategy to it.And it's just so, I think games are important on your phone to have.100%.
45:10But there was a heyday of games where the games were awesome,but they didn't, like, keep making you have to spend money.Yes.But then they slowly realize that, like, no,So basically the heyday of games was buy the game for five bucksAnd then you have the gameThen it was like the game's freeBut then you slowly realize like oh
45:28To actually keep playing you have to keep like buying shitYeahThey kind of fucked up games a bit I feelThey did they got they got money hungryLike I wish I could go back to the simplicity of angry birdsAnd just like buy angry birdsAnd then just try to keep progressingI feel like the simplicity
45:43Or it was likeRedo this level for two more dollarsAnd I'm like okay now you're just buying our successWhat were the great? Well, I did enjoy Candy Crush, I have to say. And Angry Birds was a great era.Was there any other great games of the, of the...My dad was obsessed with Brick Breaker.Oh, yeah, but the Brick Breaker was on the, was on the Blackberry.Yeah, Brick Breaker also, like, every now and then, something would happen and you would miss it by like a second.
46:10You'd be like, ah! I loved Brick Breaker.Oh, I loved Brick Brickracker, and I loved, obviously, Snake when it was out.And you can have snake on the eye, but there's no need for Snake anymore.Maybe there are games.I think we're just like not in the loopof that like the kids are probably playing good gamesI mean I play WGT golf but it's a rip-offI have to put money into it and it's a very
46:29good golf game how much money have you spent onoh who knows Hannahwho knows how much money you spend on makeupokay actuallyactually not a lotactually not a lotsorry I I can't influence forWGT golf
46:46butdo you know how much of mascara is it's $2on AmazonYeah, well, I mean, I'm not spending much more than $2.How often?How often?Listen, we're not having a finance.We're not having a marriage finance chat.
47:00I was wondering where all money's been going.Ask me how much money I've spent on alcohol in the last 30 years.Give me a favor.Got to have something in this life.So I was trying to think of some other great games, but again, I can't think of them.I think I'm going to redownload 2048.Thank you for reminding me.She got you into it.
47:17Yeah.Hey, guys, you know, I love talking to you about hero.can't spread the good news enough.If you love bread like I do,but you want to focus on your health goalsand still be able to eat a soft, fluffy,guilt-free experience,then hero bread is for you.
47:36It's like enjoying a nutritious breakfast sandwichon a bagel, meal-prepped enchiladas,or buttery rolls with a family dinner.Their baked goods are delicious and flavorful,but have ultra-low-net carbs,zero grams of sugar, and are high in fiber.I've really been a big fan of Hero Bread because I've lost a ton of weight since Januaryand I haven't had to let go of bread eating.
47:59I love making a breakfast burrito out of their wraps.I love getting a toasted bagel and just putting on some tuna fish with mayonnaise.Trying to be a little protein heavy.And I'm able to get toast back in the mix.Now listen, I'm not going to totally.I'm a big jam guy.Love a bit of toast, a bit of butter and jam.no crumbs on the butter, as we have discussed.
48:23You'd never know it's low net carb and high fiber from the texture.So get that soft, lovely experience you know and love with your next savory breakfastsandwich, late night grilled cheese or family taco Tuesday.Hero bread is offering 10% off your order.Go to hero.co, hero.co, and use code burner at checkout.That's burner at hero.co, h-e-r-o.c-c-c-o.guys spring is here summers around the corner i need clothes i don't know what happened i need clothes it'stime to put away the sweatpants but i'm busy okay between my job recording this podcast all my cats
49:03it's hard to stay up to date with what's fashionable and that's why i love daily look it's the numberone highest rated premium personal styling service for women with daily look you get your own dedicatedpersonal stylist to curate a box of clothes based on your body shape, preferences, and lifestyle.It's not an algorithm. It's a real personal stylist. I just took the quiz. It was so fun and askedall these details about your body, the shapes you prefer of your clothes, dress length, or how tightyou like your shirts, and then shows you tons of really, it feels like Pinterest. Like I'm looking atPinterest of different kinds of styles. And then you pick which ones you like, and they send it to you.You also include your price and lifestyle preferences and you get 12 hands selected items delivered
49:51to your home and then you buy what you love and send back the rest. It's amazing. You're nevergoing to want to go out on a like long shopping spree again where you can't find anything you likeand you have to pee immediately and then they're like, we don't have a bathroom and you're like,no. I personally love that Daily Look has sent me clothes from Lulu Lemon, Zara,Saks Fifth Avenue, Macy's Banana Republic, J. Crew. And I really really,really love apricrombie too all my favorites they have night out active and leisure business classicwhatever you're in need of their mission is simple to elevate your style and that's why they workwith established brands and up-and-coming designers your box could include names like kate spade a g good
50:32american girlfriend collective spiritual gangster and more and they have sizes for almost everyone fromextra small to three x and zero to 24 so it's time to get your own personal stylist with daily lookHead to Dailylook.com to take your style quiz and use Byrne for 50% off your first order.Once again, that's Dailylook.com for 50% off and make sure you use my promo code burn, B-E-R-N, so they know I sent you.One last time, Dailylook.com and promo code burn.All right, here's a dirty one. I didn't know they had an app.My favorite app on my phone is my vibes only app.It connects to my vibrator, and it has stories that go.
51:13along with the vibrations, and then also you can control everything from your phone.You can check the battery life via your phone and see, like, percentage, like, as if it waslike how your phone shows its battery percentage.If you have a partner, which I don't, but hopefully someday I'll get to use this feature,you can have your partner download the app, and then they can control your vibratorthrough their phone from wherever they are.it's a wonderful appit's a wonderful product it's by
51:44girls got to eat podcast actuallyI thoughtbecause I knew weI knew we had vibes only lube but I forgot it came from themno it's sosmart and I think it's like sofun and this girlparticularly understands me and she knows that
52:02I'm very bad with the chargingand then in the moment of you're likeI can't wait how long is this even going to take to chargeno I do think this is goodlike we've developed technology in so many thingswe might as well also develop itin our sex lifebut like
52:18how oftenyou know likeI feel like that sounds awesomeand it's a great appbut I do feel likeit's not that hard to stay on top of your charging and stuffbut I okay okay I will admit thisit's very hard to know what
52:34level of battery it's at sofor sure well becauseunless if you have a good systembut some people like again if you have a lot ofdifferent toys you can be charging them allyeah and so it keeps on topof your five or sixdifferent that's pretty cool
52:50do we reallyfeel that like phonesex or like FaceTime sexwould really be that improved by yourpartnercontrolling your vibrator from a distanceI could see it getting annoyingwhere like like a guy's
53:06like a guy's going down on you and you're likelike, okay, right here.And then I'm like, why did you change it?Why did you change it up?I mean, we could never do it because obviously, you know, like there's too muchjoking around going on.So like we'd never be able to, like, we'd be more interested in like doing a joke.You know what would be interesting, though?
53:23Because I know they have people send in, like, stories.It would be nice if, like, your partner could record, like, stories or, like, a phone sex.And then you can save it.Today I picked,Because that's the old SMS.No, but you know, like, ever now and then, your partner will tell you, like, a hot sex type thing, and you could save it.And then if you're, like, masturbating, you could go in and get an old story of them talking to you.I thought that was quite interesting.
53:56I forgot that it was theirs.Yeah.Shout out girls got to eat.Shout out girls got to eat.A little bonus.All right.This one, you know, is close to my heart.And by the way, in advance, I will say that this company has advertised on our podcast, but this is not an ad.
54:11So, just, just for the record.Duo motherfucking lingo.Duolingo is amazing.We're all on our phone, all day, every day anyway.Might as well take two to five minutes to start to learn another language.The notifications are hilarious.One of the girls on the app, like the characters, is literally sassy, and it gets me to complete my lesson every day because she's so rude if I don't.And I can't say it fully, fully works, though, because I was invited to a wedding and it's in Mexico City.
54:51So the wedding website was written in Spanish and English.I wanted to read the Spanish version because I know Spanish.and I read that I'm supposed to wear blue to the reception.However, I scrolled down a little bit, read the English paragraph,and realized that it specifically asked not to wear blue.So I'm not good at Spanish, but I love that.Thanks.I think language apps are great to have on the phone.
55:21You know, I mean, obviously not everyone's trying to learn a language,but when I started learning Mandarin particularly,because when I learned Irish, like,iPhones, that was all that was really in its infancy. But when I learned Chinese, the amount ofhelp I got from, Duolingo, I don't think it was out yet, but the amount of help I got from likelanguage learning apps is amazing. And it's not just duolingo, but like there's like fun games,particularly for kids, but like when you're learning, you know? Yeah. So highly, highlyrecommend the language learning app on the phone. I think these are good because we all are
55:59on our phones. And we all have our routine where it's like, okay, I'm going to go check myInstagram, check my TikTok, check my email, and then you rotate. But if you're trying toconsume less social media for your mental health, but also naturally have to have your phoneon you, supplementing it with this kind of stuff is healthy. Oh my God. The amount of timesI was learning Chinese. And I'm like literally playing a game that's like for kids, which is likesix pictures and you have to pick, you know, the Chinese.word for the picture, right?And like, if you got 100%, you'd be like,
56:33yes. And I mean, literally, we're talkinglike basic language games, but the thingis that I know those words now as a result.Yeah. Can you write in Mandarin?So I made a consciousdecision back in 2013that I would notspend the time learning how to
56:49physically write the charactersbecause I was in a rush. I had tolearn enough Mandarinto, I had to learn enoughMandarin to do stand-up.within a year. So I said, I'll save time and not focus on the writing because you can,but I did focus on the reading. So I can read and I can, there's a typing system to typein Chinese characters using Pinyin, the Western letters that represent Chinese words.
57:17So I can read, I can type and I can speak, but I did not take the time to learn to writebecause it's quite time consuming. Well, yeah, it's a whole other. And people write less and less.You write less and less these days.If you can type, that's great.But it annoys me that I'm bad at writing Chinese.Like really annoys me.And I had to do the basics of that in classbecause I just had certain homework
57:39when I was in class of writing.But beyond that...So in that year, did you also have to write the jokes?Well, I would write the jokes...But I'm saying, like, did you have to write new materialor did you have the jokes already?Largely wrote new stuffbecause it was very...
57:53It's very hard to translate jokes.Yeah.Plus, like, you have to do jokes.for these people that relates you know so like what's the point of you know i don't know doing materialabout some western cultural thing yeah they don't have any connection to but i'm saying as someonewho's coming up with a new hour in one year you wrote a whole new hour i i didn't write an houroh this this this time that you're obsessed with i i didn't write an hour in uh in mandarinin the first year no not even close i didn't i didn't need that but but but
58:27But what I did was I became like a regular,I became a regularly performing stand-up comedian in Mandarin.Yeah.So I'd say, I don't know, I'd say, by the end of the first year,I had like 20 good minutes, maybe a half hour.Yeah, that's amazing.But I was very good at, I used to host a lot of shows in Mandarin,and I was very good at riffing.
58:48Riffing and improvising.I was almost better at that because, you know,I could use my basic language skills with my quite experience.improvising skills and impress the audiences being off the cuff.Whereas like it's hard to like, you know, think of a highly thought out joke with my limited language skills.You know, it was actually kind of almost harder to do that.But anyway, that's what I did.But all the jokes were largely things about my experiences in China.
59:20So I was writing stories about things that happened to me.And I had some help, you know.Let's do one for the girlies.Hi, Hannah and Des. Um, this one's for the girlies. The best app on my phone is this app calledYuka. And basically it will scan like skincare or like makeup or hair care products. And it will tell youon a scale from zero to 100, um, like how trustworthy or like good that product is. So obviously like don'ttrust everything you see on the internet. But, um, it's definitely useful and has helped me like guide mypurchases um so definitely recommend and yeah love you guys bye oh i love that is that like yelp
01:00:03for makeup i love that maybe it's like i'm i wonder how they rate like trustability i knowthere's stuff like that for like if you're you want to use like vegan products or like cleanproducts it tells you how like actually clean certain products are i just love de-influencingstuff and there's so much good marketing out there or even just because everyonebought something doesn't mean it's actually good.So I'm going to definitely try that out.The Yuka app.Yeah.
01:00:32So that's what I was hoping to get a couple that are like, oh yeah, that's good.Yeah.Or sometimes like, yeah, you don't know which product of two to buy.You throw it in and it helps you because it's hard to just purchase everything and experiment to see what works.Okay, just I don't know what this app is.So I want to play one more because I don't know what it is.A little surprise at the end.Hi, Hannah.
01:00:58Hi, does.Love you both.Hannah, also, you're looking so bum in all these press tour interviews.I'm living.I'm obsessed.And the butt looks so good.Second, my favorite app of my phone is Hayday as, like, this farming app.And me and my sister recently got super into it.
01:01:18But she got this new boyfriend who's on, like, level like 100-something.And so now we all do like insider.trading and trade stuff for like a dollar and stuff because I want to make sure that my farmgets really well but now I've kind of bullied him into giving me things for like a dollar andstuff because I'll tell him that I won't like him and I'll spread rumors about him to our familyif he doesn't so yeah we're fully blackmailing each other for help and stuff on the farmand it has overtaken my responsibilities because I gave up social media for lent so I'vefully been addicted to farming on a app yeah
01:01:55I love this.When I read this, I just didn't get it.This has everything.It has addiction, extortion, environmentalism.Yeah.So it's actually, because I put it down as like a heyday, like, oh, in our hey day.But I realized it's fucking hay.Oh.
01:02:11So I was like, because when I read it at the time, I was like, I'm going to put this in because I have no idea.Well, there was that farming app that was like really popular on Facebook that people were into.This is funny also that it's.So they're now like running a farm.They're running a mafia farm.Yeah.And I love this.that she's, you know, threatening the new boyfriend and he's, like, fully has to pay her stuff.
01:02:31Yeah.I like that a lot.It becomes like a farming soap opera.I wish that these apps with fake farming, imagine if they were, like, real farming, like, how severance, they're doing something with numbers, but it's also, like, affecting something in real life.Yeah, this is amazing.Yeah, well, anyway, that was a fun.I just didn't know what it was.What if there was an app that helped, like, clean the ocean, but we're all just, like, playing games?
01:02:55Oh, yeah, like...Like severance.Yes.Maybe the severance model is...Maybe Lumen's not as bad as we think.Maybe Lumen's actually good.Yeah.Dun-dun-dun.
01:03:07All right, I know we said we're going to go,but shout out to an app we use all the time.Y'all won't be able to relate,but out here in Bumfuck,we got to drive everywhere,and we got little town copsthat are just looking to meet their quotas.So, you know, Waze is definitely at the top of the list
01:03:23for most used.apps in my phone I know you city folk don't drive but here we got a lot of back roadspotholes bullshit beach traffic and ways honestly help save the day most of the timeand then there's that other one percent of the time where it actually makes your trip longerthan needed but still use it every day thanks ways love you all goodbye wow I knowDoes loves WaysI mean first of allWe might not be a bum fuck
01:03:58But we drive a lotJust for the recordBut a big Ways fanI love a 1%Ways does fuck youYeah and when it doesLike the amount of anger that they'reEvery now and then when they get it wrong
01:04:09The anger they getDoesn't equal the amount of happinessI get from when they save me fromYeah because you're like goodThat's what you're supposed to doYeah you're doing your jobAnd you're like I've been wrongedSomeone my enemies are out to get me
01:04:20But you know it's funnyI've whenever I'm in an UberI notice when they're on waysthey always mark the policeOh the ubers are doing itYeah like they're marking the policeOh interestingThey're all they're the ones
01:04:33They're out thereBecause you don't have toNoBut I guess it's an optionYeah because it's all communalYeah so it's people in the communityClicking it that's warning youYeah and it's funny because everyone's on ways now basically
01:04:46Like I feel like very few people drive without ways onYeahSo I've noticed on the LIA these daysSorry the Long Island Expresswaythat if you see the cop thing on the appbefore you can see the cop,I will notice everyone's starting to slow downbecause everyone's seeing the same thing.
01:05:01These cops are like, they're onto us.They're on to us, man.Wow.But, you know, there's always somebodythat doesn't have ways on,or there's always a cop that's just got into position.But you know what?It is helping people slow down and be smarter.
01:05:13Yeah.And maybe the cops are getting less tickets, but...A car pulled over on the shoulderdoesn't need as much.Like, some people are like, overzealous, like, car stop.It's like, okay, but they're parked.Like, like, this isn't a real issue.Some of it's a little bit too much.
01:05:30But I guess some people are into it.No, Ways is a lifestyle.There's probably like a whole culture.You know, we were watching Love on the spectrumand the girls really into trains?Yeah.There's probably like a whole Ways culture.There's definitely a Ways Reddit.
01:05:40Is there?I don't know.Oh, my God, I got to go on there.Like, today, today I was driving on Route 56,and I saw a cop that was not listed on the app.Coming full circle.You guys, thank you for dialing in.We love you so much.
01:05:57I'm in New Brunswick, New Jersey next weekend.Friday, Saturday, the stress factory.And then I have a Thursday, Friday, Saturday, the following weekend in Phoenix, Arizona,and then Sunday in Denver.Grab how to giggle if you haven't.It's available everywhere online.And also, I will be in Connecticut early May in Ridgefield.So check that out.
01:06:15Check it out.We'll have a lot of Connecticut action.Yeah.Because I'm in Mohegan Sun.following weekend. I'm in Stanford. All right, everybody. Hi, Hennandez. I love you all so much and Paige. The app that Iprobably use the most is chat GPT. I use it literally all day.Every day. I use it. I'm in college and I use it for all of my classes. I ask about my skincare routine on it. I ask questions about my cats, like why they make weird noises when they run towards me sometimes. I ask questions like, am I dying because I have a weird eye twitch or headache? You know, like any thought that comes to my head, I immediately just ask.chat GPT and I trust any answer that it gives me and will repeat it to anyone.
01:07:27So, okay, by far the best app on my phone is flight radar.You look up in the sky, you're like, I wonder where that plane's going, and you can figure it out.And I think that's pretty exciting.You have a family member taking a flight, you can track their flight, when shit goes,wrong, you can follow the planes, see where it goes.I mean, what more could you want?Just some mindless, and it's crazy.Like, why the fuck are there so many planes in the sky?
01:08:00Like, I love that.Anyways, hope you guys enjoy my message.Love ya.Hi, Hannah Dez, Giggler from Toronto here.So for this prompt, I may have a niche one.It's called Shark Tracker.It's where you can see where all the tagged,Sharks from Ocean, Chalk.
01:08:22Hey, guys.So this is not about a specific app on my phone, but how I organize my apps on my phone.And I feel like everyone needs to hear this and everyone should do it because it's beenamazing for me.I have my folders on my home screen that hold my apps as affirmations.So I have, I am successful and it's all of my work apps.It's, I have, I am creative and it's all of my notes and my journaling apps.I have, I am hot and it's my dating apps.
01:08:57And then my favorite is I am rich and it's all of my banking apps and everything like that.And I think I have some more that I can't check right now because I'm doing this recording.But I swear my relationship with money has gotten better since I now have to read to myself,I am rich every time I open up my Chase app.So everyone should do it.