Berner Phone - Berner Phone #92: Ruthless Life Advice Pt. 2

Episode Date: May 27, 2025

The dialers were in need of some more life advice and no child gets left behind on this pod, so we delivered. 

Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hi, my little dialers. Tell him who it is. It's Dez here. No, it's Mom and Dad.

Oh, it's Mom and Dad. We're in the car. In the car, but not moving. We are parked. We're parked in Eisenhower Park. In East Meadow, Long Island. If you're near us, come say hi. Because actually, last week we teased that, you know, there was this event with people that I grew up with.

But actually, so the reason we're in East Meadow is because Hannah said she wanted to come to, like, my neighborhood friends reunion, like the people that I grew up with. So Hannah, today, you're going to meet. Oh, and by the way, the reason we're parked in Eisenhower Park is because Hannah landed from Boston. I picked her up at JFK. and we're pulling in to record before going to this event in East Meadow. You love giving logistics. So you are going to meet the people that I literally had my first drink with ever. These are the people that corrupted me.

Wow. Yes. I can't wait to ask a bazillion questions about you. Yeah. But this was all inspired, I think, by us talking on the pod about hanging out with each other's friends. So when you were like, do you want to come by? I was like, yes. Yeah, you decided you wanted to.

So I gave you the option of a pickup from the... I enticed you with a pickup from the airport. You did. And now you're going to meet all the gang. And the crazy thing is that I was always the youngest of this gang. So I'm going to be the baby. Oh, you're the baby for sure. But I feel like I'm going to feel closer to you after I leave this because I'm going to understand you more.

Well, you've met PJ. I think PJ is the only one that you've met there, right? Shout out PJ and he listens to the pod. Yeah, and I had to give him a shout out last week because I had to make sure. sure that people knew that he wasn't, but I don't think he'd listen to the last week because he never brought it up. We'll find out today. We'll find out to, well, I'll confront him about it. So anyway, that's, that's, so we're sitting in a parking lot and Eisenhower Park. You know, we like to set the scene with you guys. We're recording it on the phone, actually. We don't normally

do video, but it's really set up nice in the car and it's good lighting. It's a cloudy day. Yeah. So I'm very happy with the situation here. We also just went to a great diner. Yeah. In Malvern, Long Island. Malvern, Long Island. Shout out. represent. Met a giggler outside who was like, what are you doing in this neighborhood? She didn't even say like, she was just like, why are you here? She literally, she didn't even like, hey, I'm a big fan. She was like, why are you here? How did you? What's going on? There is a crazy familiarity with the gigglers and you, though. It's very funny. No, yeah, it's, sometimes they'll just ask me about something that happened

yesterday. They're like, how was, you know, whatever you did. And I'm not good. And they're like, cool, I'll see you later. I'm like, see you later. Um, are you okay? No, I'm fine. You got to Wedgy? No, I'm getting my wallet. My George Costanza wallet out of my pocket. We went to old Our Town. Our Town Grill. Shout out. It was cute. It was amazing. You guys know what passionate I am about finding a good brunch spot. Start the day right with a cute brunch spot. Start the day right with Our Town Grill. This is not an ad. That's what our pod is sponsored by. Our Town Grill. And they did sing happy birthday to a lady next to us.

Yeah, but here's the thing. They, it was in harmony. They did a harmony. Yeah. Like that was next level shit. You don't get that at a five-star restaurant. That's what that's, and, you know, most likely Greek-owned diner. They're a dying breed, but this place is going strong.

I do have to say, I think I burnt the top of my mouth of coffee and part of the top of my mouth, the skin is like hanging down and like hitting my tongue. Oh, yeah. So that's irritating me right now. That's like you've had a bowl of Captain Crunch. Yes, but besides. violent yeah that was the joke and you end up

with stalactites and stalact mites yeah um we are doing an advice episode and well because last week we only got to a few and there's so many left

I have to say the listeners love your advice does what are you talking about they find you very were you in the Spotify comments no I'm you know I'm

you're in it but I'm not but they just they love your sound advice your logical advice So where did you get this? I just, I heard from, I heard this through the grapevine. A birdie, a little birdie told me.

Right, okay. And I just want to compliment you on that. But I want to ask you a question for advice based on a pop culture moment this week. Is this marriage advice? Actually, yes. If you're a husband. How do you tell your husband? That he needs to stop talking about his knee pain so much.

Okay, so this is what happened in pop culture. Are you familiar with what happened with Justin Bieber and Haley Bieber? Well, not specifically. I mean, the last thing I saw about Justin Bieber was that they were accusing him of being drunk and singing at a party. So what is the news? The newest news is Haley Bieber gets a cover on Vogue. Okay.

Your best friend, Haley Biber. My best C's on Vogue. I knew she would. I was like, yes, yes, represent. present like that's my girl so he posts it and in a comment says hey I'm proud to you I'm really sorry they didn't say it exactly but along the lines I'm really sorry about the time that we got in a fight and I told you you'll never get a vote cover you um you proved me wrong um congrats really he wrote that he wrote that and everyone was like

What? Is it too late now to say sorry? Yeah. Yeah. Then some girl had a hot take. She was like... Were you pointing it? So for the record, dialers, Hannah pointed at me.

Was I supposed to know the next line? No, I was impressed you knew one line. What was the... What were you pointed at me? I was just an acknowledgement of like, well, that was a good... Oh, right. Hell yeah. What present?

Okay. Well, now we're on video, so you're... Look, I'm Italian. My hands are going to make moves, and I don't always... I'm not connecting. to the moves my hands are doing. Okay. It's my...

No, I thought you were, like, giving me, like, the next line. Okay, is it too late to say sorry? Because I... What is the next? Missing more than just to your body. Oh, okay. We love singing on this podcast. Yes.

We love it. Why don't you harmonize? Because I don't know the next line. Yeah, but you can harmonize. Okay, so let's harmonize now with the first line. Okay. You go high, okay? Is it too late now to say sorry?

I'm not. I can't. I can't go low. Okay, I go low. You go high. Like Michelle Obama. Was you sure that wasn't Marilyn Monroe? I did that on Gigglers squad.

All the gigglers are just... Somebody in the Spotify comments made of... So what did you say? All the gigglers are now doing the Maryland Monroe thing. Started on burning fun. All right. Start on burning from. So...

Started for the bottom. Now we're here. Do you have any advice? In the public park in the Lowe. Do you have any advice for Justin Bieber? I don't have any advice for Justin Bieber. You know, my advice would have been take your money and just get out of the public eye. That would have been my advice to Justin Bieber.

Well, that's funny because a psychic actually said his life now is about, you know, getting away from the fame. That's what he should do. Yeah. And I think does a psychic, so that's just proved me right. But then someone said, I don't think it was like a mean thing. I think he's just kind of like an artist that's not dumb, but like he's just told to express himself and no one's ever been like, hey, shut up. And he's just like expressing himself. Well, I think, honestly, if you want to know, I think he was trying to be funny, and it backfired.

I think he was trying to be funny. If I, trying to be funny and cutesy, I have a hot take about marriage and relationships in general. Hot take about marriage, okay. And relationships in general. How does hot take? Fighting. On Z-100. Fighting is the most important thing in a relationship.

Really? When I say fighting, I mean how you fight. Oh, how you fight. Is this a bit? Is this the beginning of a bit? No, but there is potential here Okay But basically that

So how do you fight Once you cross a line Once you call someone a certain name Or once you say something really fucking mean Then that's like It's like a video game Like that weapon is now your weapon And he can bring in his weapon

And now it escalates It's like a movie Like once you show one tit It's rated R now Okay you can't be like no it's a G movie So like when you're fighting if you get to that point where you're like and you'll never fucking make it like once you say that you can't take it back and then your fights will always kind of hit that place it's like

if you never call each other a name that you keep it like that yeah i honestly i really think that he thought he was being funny and if he is truly if he is truly uh back on the booze which it appears that he is uh i think that's just like yeah the crazy stupid shit you do and you're drunk and you think you're being funny. Yeah. You know? You don't get it. But.

And you should not, when you're drunk, you know, you shouldn't be able to use your phone anyway. But if you are one of the most famous people on the planet, then it is imperative that you do not have access to your phone when you're drunk, especially when you're famously sober because you've had substance abuse problems. And you feel bad because Haley's trying to do her own thing, but all the press was just about him saying that. I know. But you know what? And Diddy's on trial. And there's a lot going on for poor Justin. Oh, Justin.

No, because they're all connecting it to that. Yes. Yes. It's a whole thing. And then Talena got engaged. Selena got engaged. Yeah, and it's dark, man. You know, poor Justin.

You know, because everyone's like, oh, poor Justin. He's a multimillioner. But the reality is that this kid has not really had control of his own life for a very long time. And it's fucked up. Yep. So leave Justin alone. We're believers here.

We're believers. We're believers. And Justin alone. But do you agree what I said about fighting in a relationship? I mean, like, I just think that, like, when it escalates to that point, it's not like you have license to go that far. It's just it's a bad idea. Yeah.

I mean, de-escalation is key. Yeah. Because my thing is, like, let's say, like, you call your, you finally are like, you're a fucking loser. Then that's going to come out all the time. Because it's, like, it becomes, like, desensitized. When you're at that level, like, it's bad, you know? Yeah.

You know, if that's a consistent level of your fighting, like, there's some serious problems. Yeah. You know? We've never escalated to that. And I can have like a touch of a bad temper with the words. But we've never escalated to that. No. You know?

No. I'm a walk away, which at times can be passive aggressive, which I understand. But I just think it can come across as passive aggressive. But for me, it's more like a safety mechanism. Yes. Cool it a little. Yeah, I know I'm going to be a fucking asshole. And I know that I'm leaving this with her and that that's not kind of cool.

you know but at the same time it's like I think it's the lesser of two evils yes you know what I mean yes and my dad was a walk away or two yes and my dad never drove so like sometimes they would start like getting at you know getting at it in the car and then my dad would like stop the car I'm getting out stop the car and then my dad would just get out never that far from home by the way but just just he would walk home but then my mother would go into PTSD from her childhood and she would drive us around to try to find him to local bars

because she would think he was going to have some sort of booze blowout which of course he was never in a bar but that was from my mother's childhood I know sorry I didn't mean to make it dark but I didn't bring up that they were dead you just did

no anyway I did I did have a friend who had a significant other who would like get loud and stuff and her whole thing, the friend group, we'd be like,

take a lap, take a lap, whenever we'd see him get worked out, take a lap. Yeah, that's what you need in a relationship. You need everybody in a relationship, and it's dual job, so it depends on who's in, who's heated. One person has to become the coach. And be like, hit the showers, 10 push-ups. Like Connor and Georgie.

Oh. When he got worked up and she said, it's okay. Yeah. It's okay. Oh. Because he didn't, he couldn't, he didn't know how to deal with the emotions. He didn't know how to deal with the emotions. That he was feeling.

I've never felt this way before. Because he was, he was horny as fuck. He was going to copepheal. Yeah. Wow. If, if copper feel I should, then copper feel I shall. So, okay, let's, uh, let's get the party started. Let's get, let's get it started in here.

I got to start light since I took it dark. You know? Mm-hmm. We love one of these. My sister is dating a loser. Sounds like a daily mail headline. Hey, Hannah. Hey, Des. Big fan of the show, Giggly Swat, too.

My question for you is, how do you help a friend, or in this case, my sister, get over a really crappy boyfriend. She's in her early 30s. She's been with this guy on and off since high school. But they were fighting a lot recently, so she kicked him out. But now she's trying to get back together with him, and I am trying to help her not do that. She's literally so funny, so smart, so beautiful, successful, and he is a thumb of a man. He gives nothing. He brings nothing.

He spends all his paychecks at the strip club. He's a loser. But she's so scared to be alone, and she's, like, telling me, well, it's slim pickings out there, but I know she could do better. So please, how do I help her? solidify this breakup and find someone better than this guy. Oh, that's a toughie, man. But you know what? It doesn't matter how strong, smart, beautiful you are.

Everyone has moments where they're like, but I'm afraid to be single. I guess it hasn't gotten so bad with this guy that she hasn't realized like she'd rather be alone than deal with his shit. I know. But some of the stuff I have said, to people. I love the like, yeah, of course you haven't met someone new. You can't have a new door open without closing a door and how like you're stuck in your comfort zone and like the world is out there outside of your comfort zone. So I'm, and also I love a breakup. I love a

breakup. I always joke when girls, when they break up, they, they, they, you know, get a third degree and then they like, they go into therapy and they get their hair done and they just like elevate themselves. I always say that breaking up is like corporate America where you always get a raise whenever you leave someone. Right. So like that's my mentality. But this girl is in deep with this guy for over 10 years. Yeah. And sometimes it's like the pain, you're looking for the painkiller. You know, you're looking for the oxy to take away to pain. But the problem is it's temporary. And then the reasons why you left are coming back. The reason you wanted the oxy Yeah, you're going to the source.

The reason why you left is coming back. So you're just going to be delaying the inevitable or worse that you never break free and you waste your life. I also feel... Especially if he's like in strip clubs all the time. Yeah, I feel like she, for some reason, he's convinced her that like he's the best she's going to get and she has an altered perspective.

And sometimes I... This is my little habit. I like hooking people up I think you take her out I think you try to find like you maybe try to actively find people who are available

just for her to see that like you can flirt with other people sometimes it takes just like one fun night like nothing even has to happen but like you talk to one guy and you're like wait there's a world out here

that I've been like hiding from yeah and you got you know you got to get her to like give herself a chance so like you've got to get her to try to disconnect. You should basically say to her, listen, you can get back with him in a month, but can we please as an exercise, just do a month of no contact with him. Like basically try to get her to the point where she can see the benefits of a life without him.

Because the problem is that once you connect, because there's love there. There's history there. Like once you connect, it's so hard not to get sucked back in. I mean, how many of us have gotten back with people, because we couldn't disconnect. It's familiar. And it's almost like an addiction at some point where you're like, that's what I know.

You got to stay away. You got to try to get her to have no contact for a while because sometimes then you can get enough space to get some freedom in your mind. I wonder if that would work. If you gave her the option, like, hey, you can get back with him. Let's put that out there. Get back with him.

But give me this one month. One month. No contact. Where you cold turkey and we give it a chance. And if it doesn't work, fuck me. go do whatever you want but maybe the universe will start conspiring in her favor

to better things but yet especially if he's this much of a loser and the reason I'm passionate going to strip clubs all the time he's like listen a lot of guys have gone to strip clubs once or twice but if he's like a regular spending all his money and strip club these guys are fucking loser man

grade A the reason I'm passionate about this too is because the partner you're with is what you see all day they put the world in perspective for you. They're a mirror for you to see yourself. He's really holding her down if he sucks.

We need to get her out of it. We need an extraction. Yes. We need Dr. Pimple Popper. Yeah. I was trying to think of a good movie reference for like, you know, we have to go in and get an extraction. You know, like when the spies are behind enemy lines.

Like in Fowder, but that's gotten too political now. Yeah, we're getting in the weeds. You know what I'm talking about. Yes, I know what you're talking about. so anyway well we get her tell it to listen to this but also I do understand

that being you're like you have this guy it's almost like getting new therapist like you know you have a therapist that you don't really like but you're like I don't want to get a new therapist and have to tell them about like all my problems again and have to like start from scratch but you don't realize that

that if you can get through uncomfortableness and hard things the light is at the end of the tunnel change and difficult times always brings positives in your life. Marlon Monroe said that. Okay, Brené Brown.

All right. Good advice. Thanks. Well, let us know how it goes. Thanks. Do you ever find that the most highs you ever have in life is after like the shittiest times? I mean, I guess. Do you have an example? I just find in my life because it's like

I feel like it's when you're the most grateful when something good happens because you survive something difficult and that's like I'll snort that shit All right, this is very This is going to become a PSA Because it's too late to help this person Hi, Hannah Dez

Honestly, in this exact moment, it'll be too late When you hear this if you do But I need to know if I should order Uber Eats or not It is 3.54 a.m. currently And I don't know if that's too late to order food

because I think I would order a full meal. And I also don't know if it would classify as kind of like a drunk meal or also an early breakfast. Mostly because I don't know if I would start my day after or rot in bed and marinate until the sunset tomorrow. But yeah, my advice or I need advice from you, should I order Uber Eats or should I not? maybe go to bed for dinner or maybe order a friggin junior chicken from McDonald's

conflicted now obviously we can't give advice in this particular situation but I feel like this is a dilemma that people encounter a lot 354 that's fun because it's this thing called Dickfest

what? Dinner breakfast Oh really? I just made that up you made it up? Yeah I actually did regret ordering Uber Eats after my show last night

I like you don't eat before the show and then after the show you're hungry and I was like fucking I'm gonna order Uber Eats and I got like a cheeseburger. What? But it took like 40 minutes because you were in the middle of nowhere So by the time it got to me like I already I was like past the hunger stage I was tired

but then it was there so I'm like fucking I'm gonna eat it and then I felt gross afterward and then I was like cool cool cool Yeah, I feel like in these situations with the Uber-Eats, as an expert, if you're going to do late-night Uber-Eats, you've got to order it when you're on your way home. Yes. Because once you're home, you really only have about a 15-minute window before it's too late. Yes. And then it's clearly better to go to sleep.

But I hate falling asleep, starving. Well, that's the thing. I always tell myself, I'm not going to fall asleep. Well, if I'm hungry, I need some food to put me down. Yeah, and so I think in this situation Sometimes here's a life hack But it's a waste of money If you know that you want to order Uber Eats

You should trick yourself into thinking you're going to eat Before you go to bed And then order from a place that's really far away So by the time it comes you'll be passed out Just make sure you leave the instructions Just leave outside door And if you stay up late enough Then it was meant to be

Yeah, and if you're still awake Then it's like, okay, I guess I should have eaten this Also I love that you said I'm an expert at Uber Eats because it made me think I'm like, I've definitely put 10,000 hours into Uber Eats at this point. I'm an Uber Eats expert. But if I'm that hungry and I feel like I need to eat, then I try to order something semi-healthy,

but from a place that's in the under 30 minutes category. But really, honestly, I feel like in that situation, like a handful of almonds will do the trick. Like a handful of almonds. That doesn't hit the same. No, but it will take away the earth. You know, like, in other way there's like this, I'm too fucking hungry to go to sleep.

Yes, yes. A handful of almonds or like an apple or a banana. Just something to just take away the edge and then just go to sleep. You feel so much better in the morning. What's annoying about me is some people will be like, just have a couple bites and go to sleep. I don't play that game. If it's in front of me, I have to finish it.

Whereas some people that will be like, is there another family reunion going on? Or like a softball game? One of the biggest parks in Long Island. There's like any number of things happening here today. There's so many cute families doing stuff. Yes. Oh my God, we should hang out here more often

Yeah, my brother used to play soccer here all the time So sweet, like they're just going out to enjoy the sunlight Yeah, or they're like This kid's probably playing a game Wow, you know Cute Yeah, anyway, it's a very important social amenity here Public amenity here in the East Meadow, Long Island

Aminity? Aminity Oh, do you say amenity? Oh, do you say amenity? Yeah Oh yeah, in Ireland we say amenity Petophile Yeah, we say Pito It's a fucking pito.

So, anyway, I feel like this is similar to this is a more dramatic thing. But you know, in your single days, where you're out and maybe you're drunk or not, and you haven't met somebody, and you get home and you think, will I hit up my booty call,

which I know is not healthy for me, whereas you can just, for men, choke one out, for women looking after herself and go to sleep and then you wake up in the morning like thank fucking God I didn't do that but then sometimes you give in the problem is until you do that it's so easy to give in

and you always feel gross after you feel better if you don't do it you know you feel better and then you're like why the fuck am I in this situation so honestly I think really the best advice here is to try to trick yourself and to go to sleep. The best advice here is to just eat at try to eat at 7 p.m.

Yeah. Trunken eating is just like it's such a bad idea you're never making the right decisions yeah but then some people say you're less hungover if you get something to soak up alcohol that's something maybe I lied to myself about I'm like we need pizza or we're gonna be hung over and they're like to hydrate you're gonna be hung over bedration is key but it's hard to hydraig isn't you gonna be but you know sometimes people are drunk and like have some toast yeah well that's a big thing listen I'm a fan of a bit of toast before you go to bed you know it's a nice

snack yeah well that you know what it is life is about balance life is about balance and that's what marilla monroe said oh hannah um all right let's uh okay this is getting serious you hate a callback and i hate a pun no i don't hate a callback you hate an overuse call overuse of the callback okay i'll i'll wait i'm not i wasn't judging you though i just gave you an oh hannah but i you know you do you you say you hate a pun did i tell you got you got did we talk about that last week that you got called out about the puns yeah oh we talked about that already you like puns you're just in denial you need to you need to accept the the pun now i'm like whispering at because we're doing videos so now i'm like office singing office you admitted to me what

at our town grill is nothing sacred is nothing sacred in our relationship you have a pun in your new show and it's getting a huge laugh except who you are hannah be one with the pun Come on. It's not like you overly rely on puns. People enjoy a pun every now and then. Even if it's a groaner. I think every show should have a groaner. You know? I do like a groaner.

Yeah. So, okay, here we go. Series. Hi, Hannah and Des. Love you guys. How do I ask my boyfriend of eight years to just give me a ring already? So basically, I have been asking for a ring. for like over a couple years now

and he will only propose to me when we buy a house but like I don't want a proposal I literally just want you to present me with a shiny ring and yeah I also caught the bouquet at my best friend's wedding so I mean come on he's also from Brooklyn so he's hard-headed all right love you bye

I don't want to propose to like buy a house Just buy a fucking ring Yeah In this economy It could be two life It could be two lifetimes Yeah buy a house What?

In Brooklyn? Get out of here That is this is a recession indicator Men just buy rings That's all you're going to buy That's all you need to buy It sounds to me If I'm thinking positively

That they're missing each other with priorities Yes Like he's trying to think a type of way She's thinking a completely different way and maybe if you try to explain it to him in a different way I guess he feels like he can't put a down payment on a house if he buys you a ring which I understand

I get that but you also are like I want to know I don't want to waste time with you if I don't see this also you could be like I'm not moving into that house until I'm proposed so you guys are like the Spider-Man meme you're both like oh yeah eight years But also, get a lab diamond.

Yeah, just get like a fucking... A nice lab diamond. Just get like a two or three G ring. Beautiful. They look gorgeous. You know, and if you guys do better later on, upgrade. Tell them to get you a starter ring.

Get a starter ring. Yeah, starter ring to save money for the starter home. Exactly. Also, there's other ones you could get that are affordable. And it's, tell him it's less about the price. It's more about the thought and the commitment. Can you get it? Labgrown diamond ring for three grand?

Or are we actually, that's not what she wants? Cubic serconium. Cubic serconia? I don't know. No, I just remember that from the whole shopping network when we were kids. Get a cubic serconia's. That sounds like cubic serconia.

That sounds like... Yeah, I feel like the lab groans are better than the cubic zirconia's. No, they definitely are. Yeah, they definitely are. But cubic serconia is fun to say. It sounds like a Power Ranger villain. Yeah.

Cubic serconia's back. So, yeah. honestly I don't have great advice for this because this is like one of these things where it's like you hope that he's not you know like procrastinating on the ring you hope he's not blaming other shit

because he's afraid to give the commitment but they've been together for eight years but you also like I personally have never been the ultimatum type I don't like feeling like I ever had to force anyone to do anything I want them to do it in their own

free will But she just wants a ring She doesn't even want the proposal Get a sugar daddy Yeah Get someone else To give you the ring If I can

Do a bella check Yeah do Seeking arrangements Seeking arrangements And he'll be like Where'd you get that ring And it says It's not your business

Yeah No I mean You didn't give it to me I got it somewhere else I actually feel a little I feel I feel like I'm poor

I'm poor Advising on this one Why do you think so because it's just I don't I wouldn't know what to do we don't know his financial situation we don't know the relationship we didn't get enough information on this we can't tell do you want us to say break up with him I don't think so no but don't tempt us

don't tempt me because I'll cut a man out of your life this is the cut podcast oh right snip snip snip snip wow and you got very Brooklyn you got inspired by the fact that this guy's from Brooklyn

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low as half of what other big brands charge plus no pink tax so get started with an exclusive offer for our listeners 25% off your first order at shop flamingo.com slash burner that's shopflamingo do you want one that might trigger you sure all right hi mom and dad love the pot cheers from amsterdam and this one's especially for you so i'm 28 and i quit my career as a professional athletes two years ago and i also quit my master's degree in psychology however um it's been just so hard to move on from that. And Hannah, I'm just so curious as to know how you moved on from quitting tennis and how you found your passion again. Right now, I'm considering maybe going on a working holiday visa to Australia to just see. But honestly, it just feels like I'm

just fucking around in life and not really getting anywhere. So any help is much appreciated. I love you. I really, really love this question. It's funny, I was talking to my friend yesterday about it because she doesn't know a lot about sports and she was just like, people don't talk enough about when you guys finish sports, then you just like are raw dogging life.

When you go from being like the greatest at something and then the next day you have nothing, I'm so happy she reached out. And her situation, she, I finished my career at like 22. She did it until she's 28. Yeah. That's like where a lot of people during that time are starting what their profession is. I know the feeling you leave and you go everyone else is more prepared than I am and everything else.

And that's what I'm going to stop you right there. First of all, everything that made you successful in that sport is part of who you are. And when you find that next passion, you're going to put all those same things into that and it'll make you special. So that's number one. Number two, the pain is real. you have to be in therapy it's basically the longest relationship you've ever been in you had a divorce and now it's going to take you years to move on from it and that's just part of the process thirdly you feeling like you're just like lost in life and not doing anything you're doing exactly what

you're supposed to do which is going around in life and trying to figure out what that next thing is you can't just know immediately what it's going to be you have to float around you have to meet people you have to discover things you have to make mistakes this period is vital that you make sure you let yourself float around and see what you gravitate towards and discover things because you never had that before. That's what people were doing in their teens while you were training.

That's what people were doing in their early 20s when you were training. You were now making up for missed time and I know it feels like not like with sports where you're like, I need to train today, I have routine, I know what I'm going for. This is a new thing for you

which is you don't have a goal. You don't have a purpose. And to find that purpose, you have to let yourself explore. Yeah, and I think that obviously Hannah has been through this, so that's great advice. But what I will say is a year-long working holiday visa in Australia, I don't think a lot of people have regretted doing those.

A lot of Irish people do that. And I think it's a good idea. I honestly, I think just taking that time for yourself, experience a new culture, Australia is just so fucking awesome. What is working holiday visa mean for Americans? Basically, if you're under 30, there's a lot of European countries that you're, and I don't know if it's for Americans, but definitely for Ireland, and I think for all of the EU, you can go to Australia on a year-long work in a holiday visa. So basically, you get the ability to work for one year. And then if you want to extend it, you can work for a period of time on the farms, picking fruit.

So basically, there's like certain jobs that you can do. Make you. And you get an extension for a year. So basically... I want to do that. Yeah, you're too old now to do the year-long working holiday visa? But the good news is it's easy to get an entertained visa for when you go to Australia. But anyway, I think that while you're trying to figure this out,

I think you should do a year-long working holiday visa in Australia because it's just so... It's such a great lifestyle. And I just think that it will be the right place for you to figure yourself out. Yeah, it's hard to say... It's hard to not feel bad and be like, I'm not doing anything. but you are actually actively figuring things out it's kind of like when you're creative

and you're writing a book or something but you're sitting there and you're like oh I can't think of anything it's part of the process you have to go through that confusion and also do not compare yourself to other people's timelines because you had a full career

when you were in your teens like so this is let this be like a little retirement for you I know it might be hard financially or it might be confusing for family and stuff like that but you have a whole different timeline you've had an unorthodox life and lean into it and you're going to be great at anything you do because once you do find that passion you're going to ascend just like you did in your sport and I love you

yeah and also you know because I'm a little older you know like it's really quite early in your life for you to be figuring out who you are I know it doesn't feel like that oh good point it's it's it's really like innumerous stories of people who like ended up extremely successful at doing something that they figured out way later than the age you are now. So I wouldn't allow that kind of anxiety of sort of like time ticking away to, you know, basically make it hard

for you to make a decision because you actually end up stuck when you focus on that. Your 20s are really scary though because you think by your 30s you have to literally have a life set. You know, marriage, kids, career, everything, and your 20s, you're like,

I don't even, my brain just got fully formed. I have no idea what's going on. But Desa's speaking from experience, every year in your life it doesn't matter what year you can reinvent yourself rediscover things about yourself change the trajectory of your life and that's why that one girl needs to break up with her boyfriend

yeah and we'd love I wish we knew what sport so we could Amsterdam why do I feel like it was track I feel like she was or like a hurdler or something yeah it could have been soccer or she could have been like women's soccer team yeah we just have such um interesting

worldly listeners yeah by the way just for the record because I'm getting accused of picking people from other parts of the world. I pick that on the subject matter, not on the fact. Like, we're the epaqad of pods. What can I say? We're so worldly. So worldly. Okay, so this is actually somebody I think that's kind of

giving advice, which I like, since it's got a lot of relationship focused ones today. Hey, mom and dad. Love the prompts. Um, but the advice that I would ask you guys is how do you guys stay in like a very strong, healthy relationship, but also

manage to be yourselves too. Like I know if you're super dedicated to your relationship, you sometimes see that you like lose yourself. And then on the other hand, um, you sometimes lose the relationship. So how do you guys find that balance with, I mean, your insane schedules, traveling, whatnot? And then keeping your friends, your hobbies, your whatever you like to do. But then also like reconnecting with each other and making sure like you guys find time for each other I guess um so any advice there on like how you guys figure it out and make it work so great thanks well it helps when you get an unbelievably bad luck run of injuries between when you meet your now wife that you actually

can't do most of your hobbies you're like I actually would not like to be here right now You're like I would be playing golf right now if I could We've talked about this before But like it's essential for people to maintain their own lives And again we're all speaking with This is when you don't have kids advice I understand just how much more complicated All this is when you have kids

So take this as for people that don't have children That stage of their life I think You have to if you're in a relationship where you feel like you can't also have your own life, it's a red flag for me. And I also think

when you're looking for a partner, it's important for me to be with someone who has their own passions. I find it unattractive for someone to not be like chasing something or have a goal or like driven to do something and then also he allows you to do it. I also want to add

I think because I met you when I was 29, 30, whatever it was. I had learned about myself a little more and I was more earlier in my 20s more often would like meet someone and kind of like make everything about them or like mold myself a little

to what I think they'd like where by the time I met you I was like this is me either you want or you don't and that's just a timing thing can I tell the story about what your dad said to me when I played golf for them for the first time can I tell that story? I forget so your dad goes

I just want to say thanks you know because you know she's a lot to take on you know this is like really I appreciate you know like because you know it's not it's not it's not easy to take on you know Hannah I was like wait so when he told you that which by the way fuck you dad for like literally almost ruining the love of my life fuck you I'm paraphrasing but that was no he basically was like well when you proposed to him he literally said she's your problem now What I asked his permission. When he said...

When I went traditional. When he said that to you on the golf course, what was your initial response in your head? Like, were you like a little scared? No. I was just like, dude, that's not a thing. And was he correct? I mean, are you a handful? Was there a lot of drama after the fact?

I mean, yeah, he must have known how dramatic it could get. but like not a problem you know nothing you can't handle also more dramatic than fucking teenage alcoholism testicular cancer fucking dead parents being sent to another country at 14

I got you bro does minus reality TV day to day like there's not a lot of drama no but that that was a hard time that was a specific hard time that was a very but the funny thing is my dad wasn't referring to that my dad I think was just like you know she's had some really tough tennis matches

He's a fucking pain in the ass. I love this. No, you know what it is? I guess because you have like a big personality in his mind. He was thinking like, who can handle this? Yes. Like you do not. If you, because you've been around my cousins and like you're about to go into another one.

Like, because I literally even have a joke in the show about like the loudness. Like you are not, you are not a bigger energy than a lot of the people that I grew up. You know what is? I think it's because I'll, yeah. My dad, I am, he calls me the catalyst. Like, when I walk into somewhere, shit goes down always. And I guess he just was like, it's just so funny that there's so many dads that would give anything to, like, have someone want their daughter. And my dad's just like, hey, just morning you.

Just make sure you're not making a mistake here. This is a lot to take on. Just so you know. Go home, think about it. Sleep on it before you make an decision. Like a bad salesman. It's like, listen, you know, this boat is a lot of responsibility. Some dumb fucking 22-year-old kid

Made money on the stock market once they'd like waste his money on a boat And the salesman's like, you're sure you can handle this? It's going to get expensive. Listen, man, you sure you can emotionally handle the ups and downs of this fucking lunatic? I think also because my dad was my coach. Like, yeah, he just knows that it's, I'm not a meek, like. Yeah, but he didn't know that I have no interest, you know? I don't seek the meek, you know?

I don't see Mary Monroe said that once I don't seek the me. You got past over doing it. You all over did it to the point where it's funny again. This is like stand-up 101. I'm not seeking the week yet, the meek yet. That's so true. You know, and I guess, I guess a lot of men think that like, you're going to be too, like, that it's going to be too much, you know, that they don't want somebody who, like, wants the limelight or likes the attention, but, like, I don't want attention or the limelight.

Wow. Okay. We can, we can get into the, but, like, basically, I think a lot, traditionally, I think men think that maybe, like, that can be hard. Do you know what we have to do now? What? Because I know he listens to the pod. next time we're with him, we'll ask him. Is this acceptable?

We'll say, what did you mean by that? What did you mean by that? What did you mean by that? Well, he's always joking. He's always joking. Because, like, me and him, all we do is make fun of each other. By the way, he was right. By the time I realized that, I was, I was pot committed.

You know, I was all in. I was like, oh, Jesus, I'm all in now. I hope my fucking hand. I hope the river card turns out to be a winner. Because the flop. These are Texas Hold'em Rivers So when the flop went down I was like, oh shit

I wish I didn't fucking all in on this pair of aces Because this is a fucking disaster But we got through it And the river card came up Trump's Netflix special on the river Netflix special on the river Bitch Take that Reddit

bleep that out no fuck that no fuck you no there's no fucking take that redigan pleaped out of my podcast forget about it no come on people don't know that brain or bone we go so rogue

we're so much more we're so much more well-behaved on giggly squad that's not that rogue that's not that rogue that was rogue listen that's fine it's fine anyway we had a good I just don't know if people are going to appreciate the Texas Hold'em for metaphor.

I do have to say, whenever I see a girl playing poker on Instagram, I follow her. Really? Because I think it's, like, cool as fuck. I love when it's like a bunch of old dudes and then like a hot girl with like a corset and big boobs and just beating them. I mean, it's giving why I went to stand up. Interesting. Similar energy. I love, I love it.

and it means they're smart and they have to sit in these rooms with these like men every night here we go again Jesus Christ I just I hate being one of the most successful stand-ups I have to be around all these men I wouldn't wish it on anyone

all right here we go let's actually we have to go so let's do one more let's you're trying to go the party early you're not going to roll in like 15 minutes late no I'm not trying to go early

it's it's literally the time we're supposed to arrive right now I know but this is a good this is a good question do you like showing up on time no I don't want to be on time but we're not there how far away are we well by the way we haven't even this is not a discussion for the podcast but we haven't even

done the last one yet so there's the amount of time it takes us to do one more and then put everything away and then put the directions into so I'm just saying Just trust me When it comes to logistics I'm the logistics partner in this relationship

And I'm the toddler that follows him around So I got it on the timing front Okay DJ Desi Spin it No because PJ can only go for an hour So I don't want to be too late And miss seeing PJ Well no you're the one that

I was just like setting it up to finish And then you were like wait a minute You want to be there early And all the girls like How do you have such a successful relationship You can do a huge fight about how to end of the podcast. No, this is not a, come on. It's not a fight.

So, um, PJs that. No, I can't remember which fucking one I was going to pick. You fucking distracted me. How many fucking times I got to tell you? When I pick a propped, I pick a fucking prop. No, I'm just kidding. So, um, but that's the way I was raised. Just if people want to know, sometimes people are like,

what was it like growing up in Queens? There was that. But that was a, I was joking there. That was a joke. I was joking. It's my father said in the documentary. It was a joke. I was joking. Oh, God.

So, what the hell was I going to pick? So you weren't joking? No, no, that part I wasn't joking. I did forget. Oh, yeah, okay. I don't know what this is, but it sounds like a good topic. I hope it is. Okay.

Hey, guys. So some advice that I want to ask you guys, I don't even know if you've ever experienced this or felt this, but, like, how do you guys manage to not compare yourselves to others? like within your age like for me social media I know it's horrible don't I hate it but seeing like pictures of people my age in different stages of life like I know social media is fake but if they're engaged you're having babies or they seem more successful like how do you manage to not compare yourself to that like I know it's easier said than done and be like okay be happy where you're at everyone's

in different stages but like do you have anything more that could help in that situation because I feel like there's so many times that I see people post things that are in my age range and I'm like holy shit I'm nowhere near that I need to get my shit together and get my life together but I know that's like not okay so thank I mean this is this is a great topic great question I did see a very funny meme recently that was like just saw someone younger than me who's more talented my day's ruined well there's a comedian Dave Savage in Ireland and he always he always used to say in interviews he's like when I see a comedian doing well a little part of me dies so first off you're not alone you're not you're not alone

especially in social media age this is prime time I'll go first I have always been obsessed with the idea of success I think when this pod first started it was burning in hell where I was obsessed with talking to people who on paper were incredible and talking to them about their demons and what I learned from it and what you can learn from it. You can go back and listen to it is everyone is having their own demons. Everyone's having their own journey that they're fighting with. And I hate to say no one's happy, but everyone is dealing with their own situation in life and life itself. No one really understands and no one's figured it out and everyone's just trying to figure it out. Some people are at their least happy, at most successful. Some people are just really happy. I find

fine two things that I do is actually trying to be happy for someone being like wow it's so cool that I know that person and they're doing that and that's cool that I know someone that cool and like and trying to put that energy into the universe and it's almost a fake

it till you make it like first like pretend to be happy and the next thing you know you kind of are and then secondly working on gratitude so the second you see something happening and you get negative with yourself you stop and you go I'm so happy be that at least I have this thing for me and finally working on being grateful for things

and happy for things that aren't social media type like I just bought a house or I just got this job or like I got this many likes on a photo and finding the happiness in the little things because that is less comparable I feel like yeah I also think though that there's nothing wrong with using a little bit of that feeling as a motivator? Yes. You know, I think there's nothing wrong with being like, oh, maybe there's more I could get from life. But at the same time, I don't mean that in the sense of

that you should use it as a way to say, yeah, I'm not good enough. But there's a part of it you can say, I'm comfortable with my life. But yeah, I wouldn't mind a little bit more of that. So I actually use it as a motivator. Because at the end of the day, if it's somebody you grew up with,

there's nothing stopping you getting something similar yourself, you know? Yeah. But to compare us to compete, social media is really the worst because people are putting their best foot forward and so you're comparing yourself to people's the best things in their life. You really don't know what's going on,

which Hannah has already touched on. But the reality is that that is a dark side to social media, which is like it induces these feelings, which I don't actually think are that healthy for humanity. So in a way, when I say use it as a motivator, it's just because you have to try to find something positive from it because actually, I don't think a lot of this stuff,

the way that we live through social media, is actually that good for humanity? No, it's not. So this is like, this is basically, we are the first part of humanity that has had to adapt to this particular, you know, sort of hyper-connectivity, you know? Yeah, the amount of stuff we're seeing

when we look at our phone, of the amount of people we know what's going on, no human has had to do. Most humans would just wake up and try to deal with the situation at hand. Yeah. But I love what you said about using as motivation. I've done that before for sure

where you don't even know you want, something until you get that like you get a little jealous feeling and then you go oh that's what i want to do and then they've proven to you that it can be done like they're literally like guiding you in a way it's like if that person can do it why can't i and yeah use it to help you chase goals in life and i think too the thing with jealousy because like people are always very like concerned about jealousy but here's the thing it's a very normal human emotion it is literally the absolute correct reaction to seeing something

that you're like, oh, I want that. You experience a bit of jealousy. So there's no problem with feeling the jealousy. The problem is with what you do with the jealousy, right? And a lot of times

people allow it to either, you know, they internalize it in a way where they use it to sort of punish themselves, say that they're not worth more, or sometimes they use it as a way to generate resentment because it's like,

I can't handle this feeling. So how can I make myself feel empowered by being like, oh, well, you know, she was always a, bitch or I'd say this is fake or you know basically like allow it to trigger a resentment that's also negative so I think sometimes it's be like yeah I'm feeling jealous acknowledge it and then move on that's the other part of it because you are just going to forget well also yeah because if you feel really bad that you feel jealous then that emotion becomes like

dirty and naughty yeah it's too much power and it starts having power over you but it's it is so true like you'll see animals in the animal kingdom where like a cat's getting pet and the other cats gets jealous I want to get pet that's part of life you're like why is that one getting pet I'm not getting pet give me some pets why do you think she's prettier than me why you're petting her not me yeah you're human

welcome to the party welcome to the party but but the problem is that obviously because like everything like all human emotion is now on steroids with social media right so I think it's such a great thing to talk about because I think everybody's dealing with this. We are all dealing with this.

And so we all have to find our ways to make something positive out of it. And I do definitely think the gratitude thing. You know, also like the really allowing yourself to be happy for people is also good, you know? Because that is part of like, that's like part of compassion. Because people always think of compassion as,

oh, feel, feel for somebody who's... Something bad happening. Yeah. But actually part of it is to just like understand that like it's good for that person. person, too, that we're all, you know. Yes, positivity. Another thing is that it's nothing to do with you.

That's another thing that can be difficult because it's like, actually, what's going on for them has nothing to do with me. Yeah. And you can kind of separate yourself from it, which is also freeing, you know? Yes, yes. And obviously, we can get into all the old parables about, you know, oh, what, oh, I like this cross. And it's like, well, that's the one you came in with, you know, that one, right?

But the guy comes in with the cross and he's like, oh, this cross is. too heavy and he says yeah pick a cross and it goes through all these crosses and in the end he goes this one's perfect and he goes that's the one you came in with you know like everybody like if you actually experienced you know what other people are are experiencing you might not you might not be as keen that's a good one that's really good that's a quickie I also Mike Feeney once said this quote to me where I always say which is like everyone's life is like popcorn you're popping at different times that's just how it works nice and know that your shit will pop finally

Which is something I said in Giggly Squad that people have kind of latched on to. Whenever I feel a little nasty, a little, a little mad at something, you have to fucking realize it's your ego. And that's when I sell myself, your ego is not your amigo. Nice. Marilyn Monroe. And your ego is not your amigo. It's so important to be like, wait, wait, wait.

Why do I think I deserve that and they don't? Why do I think that I have to be better than them at that? Like, this is all your ego speaking. And once you detach from your ego, you fucking suddenly feel free. Yeah. And so remember, like, if you can get your ego in check, you can get your life in check. Yes. Just remember that an ego death is really the birth of your soul.

Wow, we're starting a cult, aren't we? Yeah, we're starting a cult. We look like those two. There were literally those two people who started that, like, online. nine cults and they started matching people up. Yeah, what was that called again? It was called. Oh, it was called True Flame or something. Yeah, you're true flame. It was true flame, right?

Something Flame. Twin Flame. Twin Flame. That's when she was like, you actually are going to marry him. Yeah, because I think you're trans. That was literally what happened. But hey, just to finish, since we were joking, you know, you were saying I was going rogue and we were joking about the Reddit thing.

But, like, if you look at, like, the dark size of the internet, and, you know, the hatred and the, you know, anonymous people being really abusive. A lot of that stuff is motivated by allowing the jealousy and the self-hatred to take you over. And they really indulge in, like, essentially the dark side of the force, you know, like giving into all these, like, horrible human impulses, you know, that really, like, eat away at you. You know, so it's so good that you're actually talking about how do I, not get into this negative mind space because actually, you know, the opposite side of like trying to not become negative about this is actually like really something that can be very toxic for you, you know?

Yeah, but it also, it does suck when like you feel like nothing you're doing is good enough compared to everything you're seeing online and then you start being like, well, then what am I even doing? But then it's funny to think there are people out there. that are jealous of you. Yeah. They're looking at your profile going, wow, I wish I had that.

So it's like, we are all human. Don't get mad at yourself for feeling these feelings. It's exactly what does said. It's how you're going to handle the feelings. You can accept it. Don't latch onto it and don't have negativity towards you. And when you get to my age, you just have to stay off Facebook.

Then you don't have to compare yourself to anybody you grew up with. When you get to his age, the world might be extinct, so you don't even have to worry about that. All I say is by the time you get to 50, I just recommend aging well and then everybody you see you're like,

well, I'm doing better than that motherfucker. Wow, I guess that's what happens when you have four kids. I guess they're still going to mass. But anyway, okay, let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up. You guys, I announced my tour. I announced my tour.

In the fall, I'm going everywhere. It's selling out. Go to Hanibur.com. I'm going to your city. If I'm not DM me and I will add your city, I will add. I'm adding cities, so let me know. And Hanna Page

Try New Things, we have this series on YouTube. Every Monday 6 p.m. We're live in the chat. Have it. Go watch it. Also, I'm in Mohegan Sun next weekend Thursday, Friday, Saturday with my brother Aden. And then the following weekend, I'm in Stanford. A bit of a Connecticut, two weekends in a row.

I'm in Stanford, confusingly enough at New York Comedy Club in Stanford, Connecticut. And I have a very special guest, If this opener follows through on their, they're saying that they want to work on new material as my opener at the show in Stanford. But that will not be publicly announced. But the dialers know.

So it's Stanford, Connecticut. Very exciting. January, June 6th and 7th. So check that out. Thanks for calling in, guys. Thanks, guys. Hi, I love you guys in the pod. I just have a question that would like advice on.

How can you get over resentment in a relationship when they've already apologized and I'm sorry to act differently, but sometimes I just wake up and I'm still mad about it. So just wondering if you guys had any advice. Thanks. Hey, Hannah and Des. It's Diane. I've been a long-time listener, long-time giggler, and I moved to New York back in September last year from Toronto, Canada. And I just want, like, general advice on starting over and starting a new life in New York City. like I went through like a pretty significant breakup earlier this year and also like kind of just like starting over like career and everything like that and like building my network and like even like friendships and everything like that in New York. So just general advice in terms of starting over a life in New York City. Okay, so I wanted to raw dog this and now this is my third time recording.

So technically that's not raw dogging. That means I'm like, you know, I need practice. anyways um i love giggly squad i love burner phone i got my husband on to listen to burner phone and occasionally giggly squad and um does like you remind me so much of my husband like we joke around like i'm hannah and he's does but anyways long story short should i should i not quit my job to travel the world with my husband um we're thinking of about doing like four to six months of travel before we have kids. And right now my corporate job is standing in the way of that because they are only allowing me to take one month. So

I either take a month and like it's wasted just a long vacation or actually do the- Hi Hannah, hi-des, big fans of the pod. I'm getting married two weeks from tomorrow. And I feel nervous and calm at the same time we've been planning for a year and a half so at this point I feel like I'm kind of over this shit but at the same time part of me is still freaking out about every single detail and wanting it to be perfect and I feel like I have a similar vibe to what y'all had for your wedding but I would love advice on how to just stay calm and be present and I know everyone tells me that you forget everything about your own wedding after because there's just so much adrenaline so I just need advice and just some words of encouragement

honestly would go a long way and I love you both and I will definitely be listening to this podcast religiously every day leading up to the wedding because you guys give me some laughs and some some calmness.