Berner Phone - Berner Phone #96: Our Worst Crash Outs

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

Crashing out is the cool Gen Z way to say mental breakdown. We've all been there, and the dialers are sharing stories of the crash out moments they'll never forget.  get tickets to Hannah's tour see Des live

Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hello, my little dialers. It's Ma and Pa. You sounded so serious there.

It felt like we were on a news program. Before you said Ma and Pa, I was like, hello, my little dialers. Today is Friday the 20th of June. On NPR. on yes you know does makes me listen to npr i do excuse me i do not make you listen to npr in fact i very rarely have npr on when you're on the car but when you tap out and nap while we're driving me being the only driver in this marriage i put on npr because i want to know what's going on in the world

because you want me to have a deeper sleep listen man you know you're not you're not a big fan no npr is important and people should listen yeah and fight against... Turn this off right now and go listen to NPR. And fight, it's defunding. I do have to address. Oh. There has been some confusion.

I've gotten some messages. People are like, when do you guys leave the prompts? I want to leave a message. That's funny because we numerous messages about that. Why is it escalating at the moment? I think there must be a thread somewhere online. Because it has escalated.

Really? Okay. I don't, yeah. I don't know what the particular question is, but the answer. and sale is I post on my Instagram stories once a week. When we have the prompt. If you miss it, you miss it.

You snooze, you lose. Yeah. Do I wish we would. The link is in the story. The link is always in the podcast. And it's always the same link. But you just got to be on me or does. Make sure you're watching our Insta stories.

Maybe comment on an Insta story to make sure it's on your algorithm. It's typically Thursday or Friday that we post it. Correct. We used to post it on Monday. And just for the record, I know everyone's saying when is the prompt, and I get it. But you have to understand that even with the amount of people that see it, we get 10 times more than we can use. Minimum.

It is competitive. Yeah, so, but what I mean is that, like, I understand, like, so somebody made a great suggestion. What they said? Which was, we should have the prompt for the next week when we're recording now. Oh. But the problem is that then there will be an insane amount of messages. And like, it's the same, you're going to end up with the same result. It is a little bit like if you see it on the Insta store, you get to be in the game.

Yeah. And look, trust me, we're not trying to be like exclusionary. No, not at all. Not at all. But somebody messaged you and said that there's a conspiracy theory on the internet. That's how they phrased it. Yeah. that we just have two friends that just message in the same people every week.

And they're like, because if you listen, everyone sounds the same. And I will admit, a lot of these people sound the same. But I just feel that's like millennial Gen Z cadence. No, there's a sense of humor. We're all the same sense of humor because we're all best friends. These are my friends calling in. Imagine it's all grace. Yeah.

No, I love that people are like, I want to. to be on and you know what this is a democracy anyone can make it i mean what i would really love to do but i don't know the technology and i don't i'm not organized enough is i would love a live phone in episode yeah but to have a live phone an episode though you need like like basically we would need grace and chris to be with us we also need to do it the same time every week so people no but like even just a one-off like a special app yeah but it would require grace to screen the calls and line them up, and then, like, people have to sit there. You know, like, these people, when they call on, like, sports radio,

yeah. They're, like, waiting for, like, 45 minutes to an hour. Yeah, there's logistics. Just to make their, like, their stupid sports point. And 50% of the time the guy's going to be like, that's a dumb point. And then you've wasted an hour. Yeah, you've wasted an hour of your life. Yo, this is Mike from Staten Island.

Tom Brady sucks. Yeah. It's like, what, great take, bro. Who's the greatest of all time? I do have to say, though. Thursday and Friday is when I post, keep an eye out. It's Friday, if you're looking to know, it's Friday, literally right now, 12 p.m., midday, Friday, we are recording. And if you've been listening to Burner Phone for hundreds of episodes now, and you haven't made it?

Hundreds. I feel like we have over 100 episodes. You think we have over 100 for Burn a phone? I think so. Interesting. We've been, like, sneakily doing a lot of episodes. Yeah, I guess so. If you haven't made it, do not give up.

You will make it. you will make it and that's how we um that's our perspective on everything in life just because it's difficult does not mean you give up or start conspiracy theories yeah and like listen there's nothing you can do in terms of your performance when you're on the phone because i pick them by reading the transcripts so yeah it's it's about the content well actually it's up to you this is des's picks does pick them DJ does the picking i do pick it i do you have any advice to help people get picked? Honestly, I don't. Praising me always helps. Praising me always helps. Des, you're very brave and handsome and I like your head of hair.

We had, we had obviously one of your fans message into the Bishop Exchange to talk about the fact that we were two silver foxes and I want to get on my knees trying to make like a like a religious joke of like getting on your knees in front of the bishops. I was like And Bradley put it in? Bradley put it in. Yeah, I was like, okay, I guess that's okay. So, anyway, that'll be on next Wednesday, just in case you want to hear that. Just in case there's a dialer.

I kind of love the lore behind Burnerphone now. It's like, how do you get on? It's like a VIP Club. Yeah, we got conspiracy theories now. We got conspiracy theories. The whole reason I started Burnerphone is because I was honestly so sick of listening to myself talk nonstop for the last eight years. and I forget that people listen in

and with burner phone to hear your guys voices and to realize like oh my God I'm talking to people and they can hear me has been like the most fun thing ever also I don't actually have enough friends to if I was going to make them call in

no you have enough friends you just can't put in the admin to meet up with them so wait so this is a beginning because we just had a crash out what was the crash out we just had a crash you talk about my phone you had a crash up i'm saying just now we had a little crash out over some drama with burn a phone podcast people wondering how to get their message in oh right yeah people were crashing out about that

yeah so our theme this week is crash out which was a debate for about two weeks because des was okay hey don't don't say anything else i tell you what let let a dialer let a dialer let a dialer say about the term crash out. Hi, Hannah and Des. Okay, it's so funny because this conversation came up today. The last thing that I crashed out about is the phrase crashing out. I absolutely hate it. TikTok and the internet is rotting our brains.

Why, like, why can't we just say we're having a mental breakdown? I don't want to hear these, like, internet lingoes like crash out or old money blonde or butter yellow. it's actually making me mental. Somebody needs to go read some old classic literature and put that on the internet. I do not want to hear crash out anymore. Some might say I'm crashing out over it,

but it's making me mental. So yeah, I hope you guys are well and love you both, but there you go, there you have it. I mean, I'm very happy that a Canadian called in to complain about the word crash out. Did she say she's Canadian, but crash out? Sorry. First of all, I want to apologize.

Sorry for picking Crash Out. But this reminded me in my video I made about tariffs. And I said, you got to put tariffs on, yeah, like those words, like butter yellow and Gimoi Pickles. But the reason why I cut you off to play that is because the reason why we spent two weeks because I was debating how not everyone knows about the term crash out. Yeah. And there was numerous people that message to say.

I didn't even really know about the term crash out. but when you hear the term, like, you know what it means. But it means a mental breakdown. Can we not say I'm having a mental breakdown anymore? Gen Zs are like making it cool. Like, oh my God, I had a crash out. And I guess crash out is, mental break is like a little more specific slash sounds more intense where crash out could be over little things too.

Oh, is that? That's what I believe. But a meltdown. What's the difference between a crash? It's a meltdown. It's a meltdown for sure. But a meltdown, there's levels to meltdowns. But also crash out again makes it a trend.

it's like making is it a good or bad thing that we're normalizing it or is it fucking annoying that we're just like making it a trend and like not acknowledging that crashing out is actually a problem well i think i think though that her her energy which i can identify with i mean it doesn't bother i'm gonna crash out now because hannah just knocked something over you have a ton of little crash outs throughout the day no everybody does hannah everybody does i was happy because i was happy because i was happy because i was because we had all these discussions about people not knowing the term crash out. Even though I actually, I don't care about modern lingo. Like, I think that's fine. But I think what's annoying is that these new words are put on things that already exist and then making it seem like it's a new thing. Like Meltdown, which most likely at some stage had held the status of a new saying,

is a crash out. Why are we trying to act like it's not? Yeah. It is. For a while, the girls were calling it Menti B's. I'm having a Menti B. A Menti B. It kind of sounds like a rapper, you know?

Yo, it's Menti B. Yo, it's Menti B. I talk about my mental health. We're going to wrap about meditation today. I also... I'm a ho on Lexa Pro. I'm getting back on my pro-zac OCD and got shit on me

All right Is this appropriate? So But I was thinking about The last time I crashed out And I want to raise awareness About I feel like I'm one of those people That's never

I mean look I have crashed outs But like I'm more I never have a full Like you know those people who were like I had a full break and I was, I disappeared for a month and then like I came back.

Like, I've never done that and it sounds so fucking nice or fun to, like, actually be like, fuck this and get out of everything. But I've never really paused. I'm more like have little crash outs every day. Yeah, but we all do, which is, I actually, originally, by the way,

I wanted the prompt to be what was the last, like, tiny thing you crashed out about? Because I wanted people to talk about, like, the small things that fucking, like, I always think one guarantee is whacking your toe off something. Yeah.

You know, whacking your toe off something is like automatic. Well, walking your toe hurts enough that you have to react to it. And then in that reaction, you can put in every single thing you've been holding in for the last couple weeks into that emotion. I'll go to the ground. I'll call 911. Like, I've been shot if I stub my toe. Can you, you know what's crazy? I think that if somebody said they had a mental breakdown and somebody said they had a break,

I would actually think the breakdown was more serious just because like I feel like when people say I had a mental breakdown is like yeah they're saying it like yeah this guy cut me off yeah a full on mental breakdown I mean I would love to normalize people being like I actually need a mental break and to like most people just go to the hospital for like a psychotic break but like I feel like people should be able to go to the hospital for a week to have just like a mental I mean, there are places like that. Re-up. There are places like that, though. I don't hear about them. No, but like people, obviously, like, if you're at a certain level of feeling like you can't cope, there are places that you can go. True, but that's like a, I'm saying not getting to like that, that level. But you can just go to a spa.

Go on vacation. Like, what are you looking for? No, vacation stresses me out. Okay, so what are you looking for? What I'm looking for? In the between a vacation and an actual psychiatric institution, what are you looking for? That's exactly what I'm looking for, something in between. Yeah, but what's in the middle?

So you go somewhere. Is there therapy there? There's therapy. Okay. There's yoga. There's healthy food. Is there structure? There's structure, but not so much that you're like in a straight jacket.

Is there group sessions? if you want Yeah so I mean basically these I think these places exist I want to normalize more of them It's kind of like a rehab Yeah but I want it for people who aren't Addicted to drugs

Or having suicidal thoughts No but I think they exist I think these places exist But I don't see them on my algorithm But have you looked for them? Yeah No have you actually you haven't Well I but there's like crazy fancy

like expensive places. They are expensive. They are expensive. Yeah, well, I want it to be accessible. Because people without money just have to fucking figure out how to cope. It's that simple. They're like, I can't cope if I'm just not getting paid for a week to go meditate with a shaman. Yeah, well, there's that too, you know?

Yeah. But I feel like you also, it's easier to crash out when you aren't busy. When you're not busy, it's easy to crash out. Sometimes. Yeah, but I feel like it can go either way with that. Because it's like, oh, that means you have too much time to get like spiral in your mind. Yeah. But then in the flip side, it's so easy to crash out when you're overworked and tired and there's too much going on.

And then there's one like, you're like dealing with like real, real shit. And then it's like a tiny thing that's just like the one thing too much. Yes. You know? And then I also talk about chasing your dreams and entrepreneurship a lot. But there was a peacefulness of having a routine that I miss about nine to fives. where like you don't question when you're waking up in the morning. But that's why you need discipline.

Self-employed people need discipline. Yeah, because if you have too much freedom, then you kind of lose the plot where when you have a nine to five, you don't ask yourself questions because you can't. And next thing you know, you just have to do it. And you have this routine of like, okay, I walk to work and I like to listen to this podcast, and I like to eat this. And it's just like a beautiful way to live.

which makes sense why a lot of people do it but then when you have too much freedom you lose the plot pros and cons bro because you gotta understand that people that are working with the routine that you just mentioned and then you're suggesting that somehow having a lot of free time is fucking torture

it's not gonna go down well but not free time because but I'm saying entrepreneurs they feel they might not be making a lot of money and they know they have to work to make money but they don't know how to go about it the best way Definitely self-employed people struggle with the thing of when is it okay for me to turn to stop, yeah, which is, you know, but what I will say is that when you're self-employed though and you can make your own schedule, I do think you need discipline. And on a more serious note, and I definitely quoted this before, but I'll repeat it because I think it's worth repeating. I remember one time listening to an interview with Pete Davidson talking about his mental health, which clearly he's very openly struggled with. And he says that I don't have the luxury of not being able to go out.

in the morning and walk and get sun and get vitamin D and get things that I need for my mental health because if I don't do those things I know I'm going to struggle so I have to do it he knows he needs that discipline and I'm sure when that discipline drops for him he struggles because obviously he has openly said that

he's gone away numerous times to places you know which is that's not that's public information so you know the discipline is important just in case there any any dollars out there that make their own schedule for sure routine is important For sure.

So anyway, the last thing I'll say on this is that I think it's fun to complain about the modern words and the stupid TikTok lingo and all that, you know. But at the same time, it's basically just the way language is always evolved. It just evolves much quicker now because of, because the information age, information is on hyperdrive. I totally forgot I crashed out yesterday. What was the crash out about?

Well, I went into this pod being like, I haven't crashed out in a while. I literally had a full crash out yesterday. I'm not going to get into details, but I'm trying to get my driver's license. Oh, that's true. Well, that, yeah, but that, yo, yo, that, that, the insane admin is just worth a crash out.

Nothing crashes me out more than when there's rules to something that you have to figure out or they assume you know. And not to get in the weeds with this, but to do your driving test, you have to take a five-hour. course, which I've taken, but you can only take the five-hour course after taking another test, which I also took. But I realized that the five-hour course expires after a year. So I had to retake the five-hour course, and I couldn't select a driving test until I got the certificate

from the five-hour course. Do the five-hour course yesterday, realize the certificate's going to come in the mail, which stresses me, the mail stresses me the fuck out, because any physical paper that I have to have, I'm going to lose, and I'm not going to find. it. I mean, I once, my credit score was ruined because I was getting, like, a hospital bill to my old college address for, like, five years. I couldn't get a credit card. So anyway, I'm crashing out right now. I'm just going to sit here and see how long it takes her to say what this fucking crash out was. This is to crash out. So anyway, I'm waiting for the certification. Why did I say it like that? I don't know. I can't speak. The certification of the certification, and then I have to do the driving test, and I found out it has to be in Westchester because it's the only one available.

And then Des told me that if I don't, if we drive all the way to Westchester and I don't pass it, it's going to be a problem. No, I was, but I was, come on, I was joking. So I'm so scared and nervous. Come on. You can't say, Des says things like, it's going to be a problem. You listen here, Missy, you better pass that test because I need somebody to get out and make some money for this family. I can't do all the driving Imagine if you called me

Little Missy More than a little Missy Or we can have a problem today Little Missy Little Missy Are you gonna fail another test? Yeah I am So anyway listen

Admin is We had another crash out About we're applying for something To do with our apartment And you know The other thing that crashes me out Is just like How people refuse to like

Move into the modern age And just make shit and say But I want to get too into that Because that actually comes up So let's move on to another one We've talked for quite a long time on literally what I thought was just going to be the intro message. We do that every episode.

Oh, I identified with this so much. The last thing I crashed out about. This morning, I was going out to my car to grab something from my car, my cup, so I could go in the house and pour my coffee in my cup. Don't ask why I left from my car. I don't know. Anyways, I'm out there. There's water on the ground as we had sprinklers going.

But right by my car happened to be. mud and so i'm in sandals in my socks that i plan to wear for the rest of the day and my toe goes straight into the mud yeah and then i have to of course go back in the house and change my socks and do all these things i wasn't planning on doing before work and yeah now i'm in my car and um everything's fine it's all fine love you guys bye You know, it's funny. I feel like this is the kind of thing that happens to me a lot because I'm pretty clumsy and I spill things and I step in things and I trip on things.

That I actually handle this mentally better than like logistics. Like that's just a morning for me. Yeah, but I fucking hate when my foot gets wet. The sensory of it. No, no, actually. because then you like so say she she was able to go back home but have you never been like in the city and suddenly you don't realize you step in a puddle and your fucking foot's wet and you got a wet foot well i can't stand that because new york city's a walking city and there's a lot of tourists who come

from non-walking cities there i see this happen all the time where there's you know a big puddle because there's of how the streets are new york city gets a lot of puddles so you're waiting for the crosswalk in front of a huge you know a big puddle because there's of how the streets are new york city gets a lot of puddle's disgusting so you're waiting for the crosswalk in front of a huge puddle, and then you see cars coming by, and as a native New Yorker, you know, I'm going to step back a couple feet, because I know this guy's just going to plow through this, and then the tourists just stand there, and they get fucking sprayed. Yeah, with disgusting water. The grossest water you've ever seen.

So have I been sprayed before, yes, and then you know to step back, but yeah, getting sprayed in the middle of the day. Or have you ever had one way you step on a, like, a loose bit of like a paver, and a city's and it turns out that like it's loose and when you step down water fucking pops out of it have you ever had that no oh fucking disaster but i hate wet feet man like i can't live like that i also in new york city i love walking i'll walk everywhere but i trip and fall all the time in new york city like to my knees really yeah because you know you're walking fast i'm also wearing insane shoes all the time like platforms and stuff you step you step

on a curb, tear your ACL. I actually, any trip that I have nowadays it causes me fucking agony. So when I, I mean, I don't have a crash. I literally, I just get severely depressed if I accidentally like misstep and put my weight into my left knee. A literal crash out that I've been joking about on stage

is when Word documents didn't save. Oh yeah, that was back in the day. But like that was very common We're like you're three pages in I guess you had to keep pressing save Like you had to literally go You had to press before it used to automatically save Yeah and you couldn't even do the short code

You have to be like file Go to save save as But I remember so many times Losing like entire essays How do you even emotionally recover from that You just got to start again You gotta get back into it But sometimes it was hard to get back into it

I'd be like you know what I'm changing my major. You know what? I'm dropping out. Yeah, I'm dropping out. I'm going to be a plumber. Would have been a good move. All right, let's keep it moving here.

This is kind of funny. Hi, mom and dad. It feels weird saying that because I'm a literal orphan. Shout out Des orphan gang. Anyways, the last thing I crashed out about was my boyfriend forgetting to take out the trash two mornings in a row. And when he would come home from work, he would say he couldn't. because the raccoons were out, and I didn't believe him because it's summer and doesn't get dark until 9 o'clock. So I decided I was going to be a strong and independent woman and

prove a point. So I took out the trash at about seven, and I was greeted by a big raccoon. And in that moment, I decided I would rather get rabies than admit he was right. So I threw the trash bag and ran for my life and then walked back inside like nothing happened and let him think that I was right it's not even a crash out it's just hilarious it's hilarious but like she literally was about to fight off a raccoon but that that's the thing it's like I think a lot of people can identify with not wanting to be wrong yeah you know yeah but at the same time in that situation she probably would have been better off saying you know what you were right and like let's neither of us get fucking bitten by a raccoon this comedian john christ

john christ j christ i think that's his name j christ what an interesting name i think it's john christ really john b christ i think he just did fallon he's actually his last name is christ i think are you are you for real as i said it out i'm pretty sure christ was has been considered like not an acceptable name. That's so funny. No one's last name is Christ. Yeah. Is he J.H. Christ?

J.H. Christ? By the way. Jesus Christ? No, because I wanted to... You know that expression? Jesus H. Christ? No. What are you actually saying about...

Oh, so this guy, J. Christ, John Christ, his... He did a stand-up bit about when you're hanging out with your significant other, and they say something that's like wrong and you're like can't wait to bring this up in the car and it was like his girlfriend said like oh this girl who had a crash out um and relapse she's now done a full 360 and in his head he's like can't wait to bring this up in the car because that's wrong that's it's a full 180s he does this whole bit about like can't i got her i got her and he's like sitting in the car and he's like she didn't bring it up so i was like i have to bring it up and he's like

you know, it's not 360 what you said back there, it's 180. And it reminds us of me and you like we love calling each other out. What couple doesn't? What couple doesn't? Like we're the first to be like, no. That's part of being.

You stupid or something? So the H and Jesus H. Christ is not part of his actual name and doesn't stand for anything in particular. Hannah? Yeah, Jesus, Hannah Christ. Hannah can literally make anything about her, including the name of our Lord and Savior.

So it's a relic of early Christian symbols and slang, likely stemming from a Christogram, a monogram representing Jesus Christ, and evolved into a way of adding emphasis or rhythm to the phrase when used as an exclamation. Wait, that's so funny. It's literally just used to add emphasis. Yeah, it really is.

It's like, yeah, like holy fucking shit. You know, like Jesus, H. Christ. Yeah. It just sounded well off the tongue. Yeah, I apologize to anybody who still considers using the Lord's name in vain, blasphemy. We weren't saying it in vain. No, no, I understand, but some people might not like, you know,

such strong use of the term Jesus H. Christ. Anyway, I don't know if that's our demo. So the trash, yeah, I took out the trash today. I joked with John this morning because we recorded this morning that like you just get to an age where garbage day is like exciting you're like happy that garbage day has arrived yeah um but

because I've because my back has been giving me so many problems I actually warmed up before doing it like I did my full I did my full back exercises before doing the trash for people are wondering this is my karma I married an older man so I actually do have to take the trash out sometimes sometimes

but you're also You can take the trash. You can do it, you know. But also, you do complain about your back sometimes, too. So don't act like I'm the only one that has back issues in this relationship. No, I have a L4-L-5 issue going on that we're not going to get into today. Yeah. You just get to a certain age.

Do you think back pain is mental? Well, there's a book about it. But actually, recently I got on the TikTok algorithm, because I've never read that book. I've only heard about it. But, like, I think that some, I think some aspects of it may have to do not so much mental but just like your nervous system yeah when I say mental I don't mean like you're making up it in your head it's just some they were saying yeah nervous system connections that's certain so how it's near and swears by that book that's about like

but obviously some back pain isn't but I do think that recently I obviously gotten the TikTok algorithm of people that subscribe to this the thing that like there's certain aspects of your mind that can help your back pain, which makes total sense to me now when I've seen these videos, because basically, like, your nervous system can go into fight or flight. And I think because obviously your spine is so full of nerves, it makes sense to me. Now, I don't have the science on this, so people should just research it, but it makes sense to me that, especially at times where you're protecting pain, that you can actually put yourself into a state where you're actually causing the nerves

to sort of overreact. The physical and mental are definitely connected. With this definitely. And then, because there's this woman that suddenly started getting loads of her videos, you know, and she does a lot of like lying down with your feet up or just different ways of calming down the nervous system in your back.

Genetically, a lot of my family had back problems and all I remember growing up is my grandpa lying on his back with his feet up after playing tennis. Oh, right. So that's interesting. He knew about that. He was always lying on his back.

It's meant to calm your, it's meant to relax your soas actually apparently. I believe there's signs on that and that your actual spine usually if it's tight when you lie down in that position apparently your back's kind of curved but as your back sort of sits into the floor that's a sign that it's relaxing but I have never found that to work for me. Can you guys tell what does

his TikTok algorithm is? That's my algorithm though. It's all physical therapy chiropractor. You know what? Honestly though it's a lot of stuff about ACL injuries and there's so many young women that tear their ACL because they're the big they're actually the largest cohort of people that tear their ACL just physiologically they have the best chance of tearing it. I feel so fucking bad when all these like girls in their 20s are popping up on my TikTok. It's like normally fucking dudes, we get like hot girls fucking showing their tits and shit. I'm just getting like 22 year old soccer players being like two weeks into my ACL journey. I'm like, but I feel so bad because like,

So I just posted this video about joking about the WMBA and how we don't acknowledge that these girls are competing at such a high level on their period. And I joke that, like, everything should be four points if you're on your period. Yeah, it should have heat pads on the bench. You should get sick. You can't foul out until seven fouls if you're PMS.

Yeah, if you're PMSing, you can't foul out. 10, 10 fouls. Yeah, like these girls, they're not tripping on their tampons. Like, they're doing crazy shit. And someone commented and said, do you know that girls have a higher chance of tearing their ACL when they're on their period and that Megan Rapino tore her ACL multiple times

and every time it was on their period really? Because your body is so different each week of your menstrual cycle like girls are like you could watch a girl play and be like she's in her ludial phase like it's that the hormones are that different each week but the fact that you're more injury prone certain weeks like but no one studies it

it's not studied at all yeah so you should be able to go on the PL the period list you know instead of the the drama was that apparently men are trying to track women's periods when it comes to WMBA oh yeah for gambling yeah I've heard that before

and like I think gambling is horrible I don't think people should do it but like if you knew the tennis girls when they're on their period you know who people are following WMA stars like yo she was in CVS today you see what she bought

yo that bitch was buying tampa She got super tampons today. She just got her period. Heavy flow, bro. Heavy flow day. Heavy flow day, bro. This one was, this one, this one bought a snickers before she went into the locker room. It's time.

It's time. This one got on a huge fight with her boyfriend for no reason. PMSing, bro. Yeah. It's very interesting. So, but I do think that you're really on to something with that bit. Yeah. debating posting on Instagram or not because I don't know

if I want to make it hold it wait a minute no I think you should wait because I feel like that there's a lot there's a lot hey dialers message in help me tag my WBA bit up what's funny about girls playing on their period

but it's crazy how that hasn't been talked about more even like by comedians about like periods in sport yeah because I feel like Serena was like the first one to say something like yo I was on my fucking period they never say it though no but she said it once and it was like groundbreaking yeah but i'm saying like girls could say it every fucking week i remember oh my god i'd have some of my worst

matches on my period and i would yeah it was like this code of silence like you just don't say it you just suck it up yeah the code of silence the code of menstrual oh yeah one girl was like me and my whole team got synchronized you did not want to get us like on the wrong week um um You hear what I said? Sorry, I was looking up a Serena thing. What did you say, say it again? I said, this girl said her whole team would get synchronized. Oh, yes.

Yeah, and it was. But is that a real thing? Yes, yes. If you're not, if you're not on birth control, like there's like an alpha or if one person's on birth control, they'll all. The alpha period? Yeah, because they'll, um. They all sniffing each other.

Yeah, there's, no, there's an alpha and they all like get on that person's cycle. Oh, yeah, one girl was like, I literally have a war crime going on. in my pants and I'm winning games. Like, you gotta give me some bonus points. Yeah, so she addressed the challenges of competing while on her period, highlighting the physical and emotional aspects. And in 2005, she partnered with the pharmaceutical company

to raise awareness about menstrual migraines. Wow. And I just want to add, too, though, that our cycles, there is positivity too, where, like, there is a week. Like, men are just, like, the same the whole month. We're girls, yeah, we have horrible weeks, but then we have weeks that we're like superstars and outperform like everything.

Yeah. So that's a, I, I'm very excited for you to explore that. That's going to be a strong bit, in my opinion. But you can, you know, I will see. But I think it's really got humongous potential. It's a summertime. I'm wearing shorts. I'm wearing bikinis.

And I like to be shaven. And look, I had a lot of shaving to do because this winter, it got hairy. If we're being honest with each other, I needed a weed whacker. But instead, I had Flamingo, and I'm obsessed with their shaving products. The original razor is so great.

It also comes in Chrome, which is really cool. It's high performance, and it's flexible, hugging every curve of my body and even hard-to-reach areas, and the handles ergonomically designed for women, so if it's comfortably in your hand. I don't know about you, but when I have a bad razor, I will cut up my leg, I feel gross after, and it's not an enjoyable experience.

Flamingo is so good. They have the original razor, but they also have the pubic razor that's specifically designed for coarser hair and shaving hard-to-reach spots, and they have a new moisture plus razor. That's a one-step razor. So I bring that when I travel because I don't want to bring like shaving cream and stuff. So the moisture razor is so good. And I love also if I just have like a little bit of hair.

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hobby, why don't you try learning a new language with Rosetta Stone? I know you guys know that I love language acquisition. Now I'm not saying I'm super fancy. I speak Mandarin. I speak Gaelic and I speak the English language, as you know. So, I highly recommend people add this to their lives. Rosetta Stone is a trusted language expert with 30 years of experience, millions of users and 25 languages to choose from, including Spanish, French, German, Japanese, and more.

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Go to rosettastone.com slash burn and start learning today. Let's talk about built. Student loans have been on a roller coaster in the news lately, but if you're back to making payments again, Built can help you earn points on rent payments and redeem them towards your student loan

balance. Finally, rewards that actually work for you. This is pretty cool. Built is a rewards program for where you live. It's free to join, and by paying rent, you rack up flexible points that can be used towards some of your biggest expenses like rent, travel, student loan payments, and a lot more. When you pay rent through built, you unlock two powerful benefits. You earn one of the industry's most valuable points on rent, up to one-time bill points every month, no matter where you live or who your landlord is. Second, you gain access to exclusive neighborhood benefits. You earn access to exclusive neighborhood benefits in your city, which are things like extra points on dining

out, complementary items at Built Partners, BILT, by the way, built partners, and unique experiences that only members can access. And now, Built announced that you can redeem these points towards your student loan balance, offering you even more flexibility with how you use your rewards. So if you're not earning points on rent, my question is, what are you waiting for? Start paying rent through Built, BILT, and take advantage. of the industry's most valuable points by going to joinbilt.com slash burn.

That's join built, J-O-I-N, B-I-L-T dot com slash burn. Make sure to use our URL so they know that we sent you, joinbilt.com slash burn, to sign up for built today. Let's get into an admin situation here. Uh-oh. Okay, so I'm going to try to make this fit in 60 seconds.

I'm from Garacas, Venezuela. I know Des loves the foreigner, so hopefully this makes it. But my passport expired in 2020, and because I hate admin, I took forever to get it renewed. My best friend got it proposed to in January of this year, and they decided that they wanted to get married within six months, meaning I needed to get my passport renewed. So in January, I went to the consulate, the nearest consulate in Mexico, and I went to do my passport situation, what have you. They took forever, naturally, their world country issues.

And the Wednesday, before my flight, like my flight was on Friday two weeks ago, on Wednesday, I was notified that my passport made it to Mexico instead of being shipped to my home address in Miami. So I had the biggest panic attack, the biggest crash out because I was like, oh my God, it can't be that's so close but so far. Like I have my passport. It's ready. I'm not missing this wedding.

And so ultimately I decided Wednesday night to fly back and forth to Mexico on Thursday to be able to make it back to Miami to my flight on Friday. Oh, she ran out. How did she get to Mexico? Without a passport. But anyway, it doesn't matter. She has like perfect thing.

I love when people have like perfect English, but then when they're saying they're, she's like, I know Deslaik's the foreigners. I'm from Krakas. I'm from Krakas, Venice, man. I'm so jealous of bilingual people. No, but immediately when she started talking out,

I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Like this is my nightmare, the passport shit. But also, imagine if she flies to Mexico and can't find it. That's my thing. It's never, they're like, oh, we mailed it. I'm like, well, I can't find it. Well, I had a thing where I had a thing with the Irish passport. And, like, you know, you have to come up with, like, evidence of your, you know,

because I was applying not through naturalization. I was applying through my grandparents. And, like, you have to get so many documents. And I don't mind about having to get the documents. My problem is that all my, except for one thing, all the information that was needed was on my mother's death certificate. Wow. But I still had to get all this other. bullshit but then on top of it then there's like all this insane shit that if you do just

slightly wrong you have to start over i guess they're afraid that like if it's all online that things could be like fake yeah that part i i but no but i the whole everything being physical papers is not cannot happen anymore like it needs to be updated get an encrypted system i don't care yeah some stuff you can though that's what's great like like banks in fairness to banks yeah they've gotten so much much better. Like, there was a time where banks were still pulling some shit. And I was like, come on, guys.

You know that this isn't an issue. But they really have moved on. Like, they accept e-signatures and shit. Yeah. Like, in Ireland, they're still not as big on accepting e-signatures. Yeah. Or, for example, when you're buying a house, it has to be a certified check. Like, what?

I don't even know what that is. Well, you did it. Yeah, immediately I'm out. I'm like, I don't know. Certified check. I don't know what that was. No, like, I don't know how I made it to this point in my life. Also, can I add one more thing about my driver's license?

I forgot to mention. So after I didn't renew it during COVID, because I didn't know you could click a button, blah, blah, blah, blah. I did get my permit again and filled the test. But anyway, long story short, my permit is about to expire. Expires in August. So it's game time, bitches. Yeah, it's like a Jerry Bruckheimer.

No, you interviewed him. You didn't know he was. It was the ultimate moment of our age gap because I was watching the streaming and you're interviewing Jerry Prokoma who's like literally the quintessential action. He's talking about the F1 premiere. Yeah, the action producer of like the most famous.

Yeah. Like Top Gun and the list goes on, right? Yeah. And you have no idea who he is. And I was like, I loved him though. We hit it off. He was great with you. Jerry was great.

I was just like, she has no idea. Jerbert. But anyway, this is like the. Jerry, like Hannah's version of like an action adventure is, I've only got two weeks left before my permit expires. Tick-tok, tick-tok, the bomb's going to explode. I still get parallel apart.

No, this is also so... I fucking hit the curb again. I'm going to hit the curb. God damn you. The crisis of comp. This is actually my horror movie. The crisis of confidence. But also like, this is so ADHD that like the only way I'm going to do a driver's test

is if I have two weeks left before my permit expired. also how have I been functioning so long with just an identification card but that's an idea it's an illegal ID illegal legal legal legal legal legal ID yeah I told the story before about my passport getting robbed right didn't I think I told that on this pod I'm pretty sure I did did I not I think I did I won't tell it what the hell hey it's too long to tell right now my passport got robbed in St. Lucia

did it yeah I was stuck in St. Lucia it was the greatest vacation ever. I literally, I was like, oh no, I had to stay in St. Lucia for another week. Well, just in case I didn't tell it, the quick version of my story is, I lost my passport, I applied for a new one, was taking ages. I finally go to the American Embassy, and they said, oh, we've canceled your application because actually somebody turned in your original passport. Oh, no.

So I got my passport. Great. It wasn't, it wasn't canceled yet. So I had my passport, and I was like, how the fuck did that? Somebody turned it in. I was how that happened? And then, like, two years later, this heroin addict, I meet him on the street. And, like, it's a long story book.

He was like, all right, Desmond, what's his daddy? Did you get your passport? I was like, what? He's like, yeah. So I remembered that two years ago when I was in the interstate, I was in a tough part of Dublin doing boxing. I used to do boxing. And these two heroin addicts came in, one of whom I recognized from recovery, right? But it turns out that they were robbing the fucking dressing rooms.

And I think I'd just come back from New York that they saw I stupidly had my passport My fucking bag These motherfuckers robbed my passport But the guy that I knew Said to him out was like No man you fucking took his passport And I fucking take his money

But like that's fucking inconvenient You know So he fucking He made the guy Well he did it I think They returned it to the American embassy They robbed my passport But they were like

Oh no that's not cool And he fucking returned it to the embassy for me This heroin act That's amazing Yeah That is amazing. So I guess I didn't tell that story. Yeah, that's what I was trying to do in St. Lucia.

I was like 15 at a tennis tournament in St. Lucia, and we're all staying in this hotel. And it was like an outdoor hotel. We left. And I guess we didn't shut all the doors. And someone took a whole bag with my like childhood journal, like laptop, like just everything that's important in my life. And I actually haven't journaled since. I'd been journaling since I was like seven in it. And then we do like all these guys from St. Lucia because guys from St. Lucia were staying with us.

And they were like, let me ask around because like it's common. They rob. But let me ask around if I know anyone to try to just get the passport back. And they were just, they were trying to be like, can you just give us the passport? I know. It's always like your fantasy and your mind that you're going to figure out a way to get it back. I know. You're like, can I talk to someone? Who don't need to talk to?

Speaking of lost things, let's go right to this then. Hi. So the last thing I crashed out about was I left my entire wallet in the target like shopping cart and then drove home. And that target's like 25 minutes away. So I freaked out, texted everyone I knew that I lost my wallet. I also had my social security card in there because I'm stupid. And my mom texted me and was like, I hope you don't have your social. And, of course, I was like, oh, my God, you Italian mother, how do you know? But my friend who lives like five minutes away went and found it for me. So it was really no big deal. But I acted like someone had burned my entire house down. But, yeah, thanks. Bye.

I mean, it is the worst when you think something's gone. The worst, losing your wallet is the worst feeling in the world. This reminds me of my crash out. When I first got dropped off at college, I might have told this story before, but it's a mental picture. I like to recreate. Okay.

My friends, like, my parents are literally dropping me off at a party. Like, it's like 9, 10 p.m. They're like, bye, go off to college. And I'm like, my friend is at this apartment. Thank you. So my parents drop me off. I'm 18.

I walk up to, you know, 14C, whatever. Open the, knock on the door, open it. there's 24 frat guys and they're like what's up and I'm like is Jojo here and they're like no you want to come in and I'm like wait shut the door because some girl

just showed up a fucking Australian horror movie or a porno so I immediately realize I'm in the wrong apartment complex just like typical me so I'm like let me lost immediately and then I find my friend and we end up going to

Kudoba on State Street We eat at Kudoba We leave We're like at some other party I realized I left my purse At Kudoba So I'm like This is the first thing to call

I've almost kidnapped And I lost my Everything And I'm a New Yorker I'm like it's gone Like it's gone I left my whole purse It's gone

An hour later we get back It's still right on the chair Where I left it in Kudoba Wow And I was like, I love Wisconsin. There's your Midwest moment right there. But it was like, my wallet, phone, everything. Really?

Oh, my God. But I've left stuff in everywhere. I'm now 33 and I've gotten so much better at it. But it used to be like really bad. You know, it's funny because like losing your wallet now, it's horrible, but it's not as horrible as it used to be because of Apple Pay. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Because before I would like get the cancer credit cards and you had no fucking credit cards. No fucking money. I've also, I remember on my wallet. my birthday once, I got $100 and dropped it, lost it in a pizzeria, most Brooklyn story ever. Like, went to the bathroom in a pizzeria, lost like $100, $200 I got for my birthday. Like, I've lost everything. I lost, like, the only nice earrings I've ever had, went down the drain once.

Like, I lost that. I lost my fucking dad's wedding ring in the Pacific Ocean. Me and you have lost a lot of stuff together. I lost a lot of stuff, but I think that's part of the creative, you know, you got so much shit going on your mind. Yeah, we're just creative. But especially, I'll tell you what, I always, I find a very common time where I lose shit

is if I have like a routine and then something throws me out of the routine. Yes, always. I'll always forget something. You know, if it's like, if I always, when I fly, if I always do it a certain way, but then something comes up like I'm traveling with somebody else. Traveling with you, no, but like traveling with somebody else or just like something's not the same.

If you're rushed a little bit, you like forget everything. But for anyone else who struggles with it, phone wallet keys. Phone Wallet Key. Which is a great Adam Sandler bit. I do it every fucking 10 minutes. I'm like Phone Wallachies. You've seen the Phone Wallachies song, right? That's a great bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, guys, summer's around the corner. We have a new season, and that means sometimes we want new wardrobe, and that's why I love Daily Look. Now, a lot of places that have clothing subscriptions use AI or like an algorithm, but I'm obsessed with Daily Look because you get.

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Hannah and I love Hungry Root, because, as you know, admin, not our speciality on an episode about crashing out, I can tell you many times we have crashed out about not being organized in the food department in the house. Shopping and planning for groceries can be simple and stress-free, though, with Hungry Root. Imagine having somebody fill your cart with your personalized picks and then ship right to your door, taking all of the hassle out of it. That's why we love Hungry Root. And what's really cool is it gets smarter with every order. If you've got kids, they figure out what your kids like,

while also keeping it healthy from smoothies and sweets, salad kits, supplements, and more. There's something for every taste and nutrition goal. Okay, you can let them know. Are you gluten-free? Are you dairy-free? You're looking for high-protein, gut health. Whatever else you're working on, hungry root, helps you eat well. After a quick quiz, their smart card technology recommends groceries and supplements,

tailored to meet your needs, like having a personal shopper that learns what works for you. And it's great value. They help you save by reducing food waste and avoiding impulse grocery buys. Because you know when you're wandering around, that car gets a lot fuller than it really needs. Your best price program offers great value on over 100 popular products. And with our offer, you'll get a free item like a premium protein, veggie, or sweet treat in every box for life. Hunger root holds all its foods to high standards, screening out over 200. additives like high fructose corn syrup preservatives and artificial sweeteners.

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Blurner, Code Burner, to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Hungarroot.com slash burner code burner. Oh, let's go to one that's relevant to us. But not really. My boyfriend wakes up every morning, sometimes at 5.30, but usually at 6. And I'm such a sensitive sleeper that most of the time when he does this, like I can't get back to sleep. I always wake up. There's never a time where I don't at least wake up. Sometimes I can't get back to sleep. And I get it. He's like, well, I'm getting up and I'm going and being

productive. Like, okay, King, pop off, but like, shut the fuck. What do you mean? And I'm not even going to lie. Like, I throw tantrums. Like, I'm a five-year-old. Like, I kick in my bed. I physically kick in the bed because I'm so upset about being woken up. And I'm not embarrassed about it because honestly it feels totally valid and what am I supposed to do like tell him to not be productive but also like what business does a man have at 530 and 6 a.m like what you could do anything at any hour you could go on a run at nighttime why do you have to be awake she's funny she's literally from the gigas squat school though like yeah okay king pop off that was funny well if you guys don't know it does wakes up at 530 every morning but

This is the thing. I've done so many things. I'm like, well, you haven't cleaned. Like, anytime Hannah brings up like a queenie, the cleanie thing, I have to fucking laugh. She is the message. Tell them why you woke me up yesterday. Well, no, because you fucking, my, my, my key was hidden under a fucking bouquet of flowers. I'm woken up violently. No, not excuse me. Not violently, gently. And here's the thing that saves Hannah and I's marriage. The times that we wake each other up, because I don't like being woken up, but I she can't wake me up in the morning because I'm always up before her. And then the time that

she actually wakes me up is the time that I could get back to sleep, which is any time between 9 p.m. and 5 a.m. I will get back to sleep in between those times. If I'm trying to sleep in and you wake me up at 5.30 and I was still sleeping, then I will not be able to go back to sleep. But that never happens in our relationship. But I had to, the great thing about Hannah, is if you wake her up any time before 10 a.m., she can get back to sleep. And also, okay, you didn't wake me up violently, but in my perspective,

I had to wake you up. Any time before 8 a.m. you wake someone up, it's violent. Like, that's choosing violence. I had to wake you up because this was quite serious. So he goes, hey, do you know where my car keys are? Because you cleaned, coincidentally. This is what I'm saying.

So whenever anyone cleans, she gets lost. No one can find anything. Like your final, like your last Invisaline retainer. Your final. Actually, you know, I want you to apologize. Yes, I threw away your last envisaline thing. But like, I was the last one. Like, there were a lot of things that happened up to that point.

Like, what happened to all the rest of them? Yeah, but Bill Buckner gets blamed for fucking blowing the game six of the 1986 World Series against the Mets. But there were a lot of things that led up to him making that error. That is the craziest reference. But nobody cares. Nobody cares. You're the one.

The blame gets put at the end of the fucking cycle. Are you talking about Jerry Bruckheimer again? No, I'm talking about Bill Buckner. Okay, I'm kind of confused with all the men you're talking about. It's one of the most famous errors. But I always defend him because other shit went wrong in that inning. And it wasn't even why they lost. Now that we're a sports podcast, I actually heard a good soccer quote from Ashlyn Harris,

the soccer player, who I met at the Liberty game. And I asked her, I said, is it mentally hard for? to like that per people to score on you and you feel like you let down your team like i don't know if i can emotionally handle that and she goes it had to get past like all the girls before it got to me yes so anyway i had to wake up hana because i had spent a half an hour looking for my key and who's that i didn't know they were coming this early we're recording nan and popper are here they're here for the day come in we're recording a podcast Nine is still God it is here

From internet fame Walk into the house We didn't even get a chance to clean Coincidentally Oh my God Oh no I didn't know they were coming so early They're here for the day We're recording the podcast

We're gonna do another five minutes How you doing? Do you have anything to say What was the last thing that you had Like a mental breakdown about? You know, like a... What was five minutes ago? What was five minutes?

What happened? Stairs. Stairs. Stairs. Stairs will crush you out. Well, take a seat, Nana. You can enjoy the last five minutes. You want to...

We'll literally do five more minutes, okay? Yeah. We thought we had an intruder. We thought we were being robbed by an AARP subscriber. you want to sit down on that one it's nice and high sorry it's like an obstacle course here I hadn't got the house ready Nana we did not clean

also if you guys don't I didn't know you guys were coming so early I was going to clean oh great she brought lunch she brought her lasagna which I'm not lasagna your eggplant palm which everyone wants the recipe for also Nana looks so cute

she's got her choker on she's her shoulder off the shoulder shirt and then she also has her sparkly cane so anyway yeah we're literally in the middle you're here for the live taping a burner phone now you're in the first live burner film show so let's let's do one more

just to conclude that story Hannah had put my car key under a bouquet of flowers well I moved the bouquet but the thing is that when I asked though you knew exactly where it was that was crazy because I was like where's my car and you were like oh it's at the end of the counter I go, it's under the bouquet.

No, you didn't say it was under the bouquet. He says it at the end of the counter. And then I, that's how I hadn't found it. Yes, yes. But anyway, I had to wait. Trust me, I was trying not to wake you up, but I had no choice. Yes. I had serious stuff to do.

Like, I had to go play golf. But my issue in our relationship is Des goes to bed at like nine or ten. And that's when my day starts. That's when the party starts. Hi, Papa. I always try to calm her down. We're finishing our podcast. The last five minutes of burn a phone.

And since you guys, since you guys are little, you're our scene. dial or correspondence. Papa likes burner phone. Yeah, so these guys, yeah, so what the good news is is that you guys are listeners, the bad news is that we just have

five more minutes to do and you guys are now starring in the show. Do you want to just sit there and relax? You'll get the... We've never had our first live podcast. Yes, you're getting the finale

right now. We have an audience. It's not that exciting the finale. All I was going to say is Des goes to bed at 9. I'm here I start the party. I'm like, we could watch anything.

He doesn't let me watch when we're together. Yeah, so basically the documentaries happen after nine. All the really depressing, dark, scary documentaries to start watching or like girly stuff I want to watch. And then Butter comes. We start, we're petting each other. Then I'm on a TikTok spree. Next thing, you know, I'm coming up with businesses.

Next thing, you know, it's like 2 a.m. And like, Butter and I are like high on life. And then I'm like, oh, no, I have to walk back in the room and not wake up des. Meanwhile, I'm like, do I want to shower? Do I want to brush my teeth? Should I flush? Should I start a new skincare routine? And I'm trying not to make noises in the bathroom.

And then he wakes up based on movement. Yeah. You literally, all you have to do is just like bring your aura into the room. Yes, which is a lot of aura. What's going on? Yeah, and he doesn't just wake up like, what? He goes, what's happening? Like, as if we're getting robbed.

He says it's because he's a hunter. No, listen, my mother was the exact same. Like, I always thought I could sneak. I feel like we've said this before. but I thought I could sneak into the house in my early you know the early drinking days I thought I could sneak into the house and like one one touch of the stairs like that's man and then I'd have to go in you let me smell your breath like a fucking cop let me smell your breath you're drinking but also you just you wake up yelling something always because you startled me so we will we were sleeping next to each other and I accidentally my knee hit his sensitive name. Oh, yeah, but you need... He literally yells,

Jesus H. Christ! A callback. They're like, why is that so funny? We have an audience that wasn't here for the early part of the episode. This is Comedy 101. How did not do a callback? I'm going to do one more, but I got to save this.

Let's pick one for our audience here. This is for you, Hannah, to wrap it up. Thank you. Hi, my dad. I love you guys so much. I wanted to talk about the last thing that I obviously had to crash out about. Pickleball drama at our neighborhood pickleball court. As we all know, pickleball people are crazy.

Hannah is a tennis girlie, you're probably like, ew, pickleball. But it's one of the things that's easy to play. It's nice to run around a little bit. But basically, we have these courts. You're supposed to reserve them. Every time we go, we didn't know that at first. So we got kicked out. And I was mad.

It was so dumb. But then we finally. reserve one you guys and this lady walks over throws her stuff down on our pickleball court and goes we reserve this and I go no you didn't you only reserved you reserved the other one because it's two pickleball courts and one tennis court anyways we had a heyday I was so mad ended up my husband's like let's just leave anyway we're done but that's that was my last crash out pickleball thanks guys but there's always drama with courts always drama with courts well because yeah it's a little bit of like depending on the place no one's running it it's like a system of trust and people

take their pickleball very seriously also a lot of these pickleball players are not necessarily athletes that have like respect for right the sport long term there's like in the west side with tennis there's this whole like what's what's the system called the honor system yeah where like everyone knows there's a line and everyone knows how it works and and the west side comedy That's not comedy. But this is different. This is actually booking. Yeah.

But like I guess there's not someone in charge. I guess. But also sometimes you're on the wrong court per day. Yes, yes. I mean, I've done the, I see. But are you the, are you the dick that shows up to the court that you booked, just like dropping your shit and being like, you got to go? Or are you just like?

I'm never a dick about it, but if I reserve my time, I'm like, hey, sorry, guys. We got to wrap it up because people will take advantage of you and go over. board when it's like you had your time, it's time for my time. Yes. But there's a way of being very respectful and nice about it. Because also these are your community. You're going to see these people all the time. But some people, look, there's assholes in every sport.

And pickleball is no exception. Yeah. And I was going to say, kick him in his pickleball. I can't really, I don't really have the same pickleball hate that you have. But I've kind of like, I've embraced it. I don't have pickleball hate. What I say is I haven't started it because I'm afraid I'll get addicted to it and then have to quit all my podcasts and my comedy.

so I can become a international pickleball player. Yeah. So that's it. We've made it. Okay, we've got to go. We now have to fucking clean because I'm not going to be able to watch a fucking somebody who walked in in a cane.

I'm not going to be to watch her cleaning without guilt. Talking about bringing me back to my childhood. Oh, Jesus. The guilt I'm feeling right now. Oh, my God. A grandfather's smacking me right now. With a ruler. I'll show you guys

All right Thanks for listening guys Bye This is a story This is a story from literally this morning Because I was moving a sofa And some other things over to my boyfriend and I's new place using his brand new truck. I'm driving along the freeway, and I'm almost to our new place

and realized I forgot the check for our first month in security deposit, so I had to turn around, unfortunately. And because I had turned around and was driving for longer, the sofa got loose in the back, and part of it flew out of the back of the truck onto the freeway, but luckily it tumbled over into the shoulder, so everything was fine, except the truck got like a little damaged and I literally immediately started crying and called him and he was super nice about it but he's at work and that's why he couldn't help so point being that should be considered a blue job um and yeah I just immediately started crying and freaking out like it sucked moving sucks love you guys I'm a giggler hello I recently crashed out over my duvet cover specifically

putting it back on. I'm 30 years old and I've always had my mother come to my apartment to reassemble it for me because it seems to be the most complicated task I can think of. And I would take a fitted sheet any day. I'll fold a fitted sheet if you want me to at this point. I'm not saying it's going to be good. But I had aligned everything. I probably spent like 15 minutes like prepping it to make sure I didn't mess it up.

And I'm tying the loops so they're all, you know, assembled properly. and then I'm going to zip it and whatever. About like four loops in, I realized somewhere along the lines, I messed up. And that was it. That was my one chance to do it for no reason other than mental stamina. And I just stood there and screeched. My cat and I looked at each other and were like, you know what? Yeah, it's not happening.

So I've been sleeping with a singular sheet all week as a result of that crash out. Hi, hi, Hannah. Well, the last thing I crashed out about was working every single day. double this week, and then finally laying on the couch after going shopping, buying a couple items for my man. I'm laying on the couch after I made dinner as well, and I ask him, hey, we can be an ibuprofen. And he looks at me, he says, no, you can get it yourself. And then I lost my shit, and no one really wants to know what happened after that.

I'm currently in my room, and he's watching the Goonies. Hi, Hannah and Des. I am obsessed with you guys. Hannah, I am going to your show in Prior Lake and I can't wait. But anyways, the most recent thing that I crashed out about was a work email. I had spent about probably an hour collecting all this different information and then drafting it into a message to send to my boss in which she replied immediately, no uppercase, not even a full sentence. It was quote unquote, sure. She didn't even put her email signature under it. So that caused a complete crash out. I, yeah, I don't have any words. That just describes my week. So the last thing I crashed out about was a spree tan that I just got. And I didn't like noticed it at first, but like I literally looked like I swam in a dirt fucking pond after the spray tan and like even after like I rinsed after and I crashed the fuck out so hard that I tore my shower curtain off the shower and scrubbed off my spray tan until my skin was

like raw and red. Okay, a little funny part here. The last thing if we're being realistic. that made me crash out was trying to record this message right now because I keep on messing up. But what I wanted to say was that last night I had the biggest crash out over buffalo sauce. I went to go like squeeze some buffalo sauce out of the tube onto my buffalo fries and instead of it coming out the whole little tiny hole it's supposed to come out of, the whole lid fell off. And so then my buffalo fries had a lot of buffalo on them that I didn't ask for.

So that was a huge crash out. I had a huge moment over that. But I just blame that on the horrible day I had at work. Can't blame a girl for crashing out, okay? You got to crash out to cash out.