Berner Phone - Biggest Gripes of 2026 (So Far)

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

This week, Des is solo and responding to the Dialers' biggest complaints about 2026 so far.   Call [phone] to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: [phone]   FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5   FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/   Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com

Guys, you know we love helix mattresses on this pod. It's a helixir from my back pain. I just made that up. But hey, we're trying to have some fun here. I've been not at my house for the last month, and my back is killing me. I miss my helix mattress. I've told you before, and I'll tell you again.

I have two of them. One in the apartment in New York, one out in West Hampton. Sounds like a boast, but I'm just letting you know that I couldn't handle the variation between the two mattresses. So now it's a double helix.

That's how much I love helix. mattresses and because Hannah runs hot, our helix mattress is nice and breathable so we don't argue over the temperature. Plus what's great about Helix is they have incredible deals various times of the year. Right now, go to helixsleep.com slash burn for their June 12th to July 6th, 4th of July sale, 20% off site wide plus 25% off luxe mattresses and 30% off elite mattresses. This is a great time to go. That's helix sleep.com slash burn for their 4th of July sale. Now until July 6th, 20% off sitewide, 25% off

off luxmatches and 30% off elite mattresses at helix sleep.com slash burn. Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, We may have to make it into a podcast. Hello, my little dialers, and welcome back to Burner Phone. Another episode with Des here on my own in an undisclosed location, working on a secret project that I can't tell you about. But needless to say, whenever that information comes to light, it will be quite exciting.

you will be quite you'll be like interesting not sure i saw that for des but i don't like cryptic uh you know i don't like when things get a bit cryptic and every you know everyone's like what's he talking about so let me not delve on it i'm going to leave any easter eggs out there or anything but needless to say this is uh this is my last week while i were being this unique situation then i will be back in my normal situation Don't forget, guys, very exciting times here in the Bishop Burner household. Hannah Special is out, as you know, on Hulu. My special comes out next Friday on Hulu.

It's been announced now officially. So I hope you guys check it out. It's called Bridge and Tunnel. Varying themes for those that, well, for those that saw my show over the last two years, I would say the main themes are nostalgia, which you know that I love, some remnants of my living in China material and then quite the indulgence in my Queen's life material

which is material that I never truly was able to explore during my Ireland years not because the Irish didn't want to hear about it but because some of it is quite you have to kind of like have had sort of an American childhood particularly around the humor of growing up around

different ethnicities and stuff like that. So, you know, because, for example, the Irish don't like the fact that Irish Americans consider themselves Irish. The Italians don't like the fact that Italian Americans consider themselves Italian. And, you know, so, but growing up in that, you know, growing up in the world of, what are you? You know, are you Italian? Are you Puerto Rican?

You know, like, that wasn't like an offensive question when I was growing up. You know, like it was like the expected question of like, what are you? And if somebody said they were American, you would be like, what do you mean you're American? There's no such thing as an American. You got to be something. That was like a queen's thing to say. Even though we all knew that we were American, that was like a given. That's like the association that you're a member of.

But what, what's your blood? You know? And that was a big part of our childhood. and, you know, when I moved to Ireland, you realize that it's just, there's actually not even a lot of part of the world, the parts of the world that are as into it as United States, probably North America. Even in Australia, they don't latch on to their heritage as much as Americans do.

Certainly, you know, I still think it's a thing, but growing up for us, Queens, New York, certainly East, in Queens, New York in the 80s, particularly. Big part of your identity was your heritage, you know, which I appreciate it. I think it's still a big part of who I am, the pride of my Irish heritage, which I then bridged in a very odd way by going back to Ireland when I was 14.

My joke that I used to say in the early part of my comedy career was, when I got to the airport, there was a sign that said wrong way, because still in 1990, a lot of emigration from Ireland still, a lot of people immigrating to the United States, which, by the way, just to remind people, I am a product of immigration, product of immigration and immigration. My father, a straight immigrant, my mother, the child of immigrants.

And so today's episode will be about gripes for the first half of 2026, which we'll get into. I'll keep, what I'll do is, as I always do, well, I'll try to do. It'll get progressively more serious. We'll keep it light early on. And for some of the people who don't like when it gets too serious, you'll feel the, you'll feel the energy rising and then you can tap out, you know, if you want. I prefer if you didn't, you know, because it's a gripes episode.

But anyway, needless to say, the special taps in a little bit to that, particularly, honestly, particularly the tension between the Irish and the Italians, if you must know. I give that a good at least 10 minutes in the special, you know. That's my PTSD. PTSD, DESEAS, PTSD from the love-hate relationship between the Italians and the Irish in Queens, New York in the 1980s. So that's out, Bridge and Tunnel, on Hulu on Friday. It's actually already on their screen so you can click like, I think you click my stuff

and it'll be there for you to find immediately. Listen, great, thank you so much, great response to last week's episode. Got a lot of extra sex stuff afterwards, but I'm not going to revisit that. But what I do want to start with, because I think it's very funny, which comes great prompt suggestions, but also some jingle suggestions. So let's get right into it. What's up, Des? For prompts, okay?

So one prompt, because you asked for it last week, I think it'd be really funny to have people make jingles for what Burn or Porn is with this new number. So something that I have in mind would be like, okay, what happens if I mess up? It'd be like, if you got a thought and you think it sounds great, call 911, 5-1-2-6. 17th Friday call no um so that could be one and then another prompt is the leaks that you had at like a misinterpreted belief you had as a kid or something you thought as a kid that's wrong like so for example um when I was younger I remember being at like a dance competition and I saw one of the girls background like to the phone um was a picture of her kissing her boyfriend and I remember saying like

Oh, so like you lost your virginity. And because I thought losing your virginity was like kissing somebody and all like they were all in high school and their reactions were like, what did you say? And I was like, nothing because I had no idea what it actually meant. I just thought it was you kiss somebody, you watch your virginity. So hope this gets it to you well. I think the jingle idea would be hilarious to listen to people's ideas and maybe it'll find you on. So love the pod. Great suggestion.

Great, first of all, great jingle. Speaking of which, don't forget, give us a call on Google phone [phone]. Or if you're international and you don't want to pay it a long-distance rate, you can send me a voice note on WhatsApp on plus 1-646-4-2-370-20. And by the way, that phone number is a mint mobile phone number, which, by the way, not part of, We are sponsored by Mint sometimes, but actually the Mint mobile number is just literally me being influenced by my own ads. I paid for that using my own code for my own podcast. So I influenced myself and I decided to use Mint for the number that powers our WhatsApp.

So don't forget, 9175-1-21758, Google Phone or internationally 646, 4-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-8. 7020. But a great prompt suggestion. I can't think off the top of my head things like that, but I know that I had them. So let's do that for next week, guys. Now we're headed, now we're on top of things. Next week's prompt.

She phrased it really well, but, you know, it's kind of those things that sort of an incorrect belief you had as a kid, you know? I mean, I can think. of a couple of funny jokes, but they're too offensive to some people immediately. But needless to say, you know, things that... I'm censoring myself up to West Zoo right here. Stopping myself.

We're not getting serious till the end. Okay, guys? You know the way it gets. So great prompt suggestions. So that's next week's prompt. All right? Lock it in your brain. Start sending them in straight away.

Which is one of the satisfying things about the Google number that I'm enjoying is I feel like it's I feel it feels to me like people are more comfortable giving feedback this way so it feels like the interactions are becoming more organic flood the zone with jingles I think the jingles are hilarious I have another one which I'll play later on and we will we'll keep it we'll keep it going now we remember We've got to keep it lighthearted here. Let's keep it lighthearted. This was some feedback on the trauma dumpers,

PTSD Desi, which is becoming a running theme. Somebody messaged in. Hey, Des. I was just listening to the most recent episode where someone called in with a name for your rap group, music group. And it's really funny because I had initially thought of this. The first thing that came to my head was the mentally illmatic.

And that would be like the duo true name. And then you got PTSD. And I don't know. I don't know if PTSD is classified as like a mental illness. And it's not said in a bad with negative connotations. I just thought it was really funny and plays off of the illmatic. I believe that's an album by Nas. I can't remember, but I just thought that was really funny.

And hopefully you think that's funny. But yeah, thanks. Bye. I think it's funny. I really do because, first of all, Illmatic by Nas, probably one of top 10 rap albums of all time. Nas absolute legend of the game. You know, maybe does he get enough respect?

I don't know as a lyricist. But New York's state of mind, I think it's in, are we saying it's definitely in people's top 50? I'm saying it's definitely in people's top 10. I never sleep because sleep is the cousin of death. I mean, come on. But, you know, it's not a hip-hop podcast. No, you know, mentally illmatic, I get it.

I know your concerns about being, I understand there's a flippancy about a serious subject here. I understand. But let's face it, we've done this weird thing in modern society where we've become either flippant or in a positive way, we've mainstreamed popularized the language of people's mental health in a way that makes them more comfortable talking about it. But then on the flip side,

then you get comfortable talking about things that could be quite serious. So I think we shouldn't be too harsh on ourselves because this is a very mental health forward podcast, but also it's a podcast that's open to humor and the healing aspects of humor taking the seriousness out of things. So don't get too hung up on that. I think mentally ill-matic, even though I think mentally ill is a problematic term,

but I do think it's a funny song on the album for the trauma dumpers. So that's a track that the trauma dumpers will be working on. I never sleep because sleep is because and a death is bad for your mental health, by the way. Sleep, very important. So, Naz, bad advice there for your mental health, by the way, back in the 90s. I'm sure you're sleeping better these days. Shout out, by the way, of course, I think I've probably forgot to mention one of the other

reasons why I'm prone to thinking that Nas is one of the greatest of all times, because he's from Queens, which we began talking about, how there's some Queens themes in my special. that's why it's called bridge and tunnel. Well, speaking of the bridge, Nas grew up right next to it, right next to the Queensborough Bridge, in the Queens Bridge houses, one of the largest public housing developments

in the United States of America, looking across the river. I mean, if this episode towards the end gets into the halves and the have-nots, is there ever a more potent symbol of the Queens Bridge houses towering over the East River from the Queen's side,

facing the Upper East Side, looking at the Upper East Side. If ever there was a divide, the East River, metaphorically showing us exactly what the haves and the havesnots, the rich and the poor, the great economic divide of New York and the United States of America. I think the Queens Bridge houses

is probably one of the great symbols. And, you know, for all the, you know, the pitfalls of public housing, you have to think about all the wonderful lives that lived in there. But I mean, from the point of view of creativity, if you look at the list of incredible rappers that came out of the Queensbridge houses, you would be surprised.

Mob Deep, obviously the other one, I think we could all agree. Top five hip-hop songs. of all times took one's part two. I mean, come on. Everybody, can we please be in agreement here? Right out of the Queensbridge houses, right out of that divide. Inspired by the pain and the suffering.

I can't speak with experience of what it was like to live in it, but I can certainly admire the art, the perfection that came out of there in a hip-hop context. So anyway, let's keep moving on. This is trying to keep it light here. Let's keep it light. This is a gripe, 26. Gripes for the first half of 2026. Dad, you know, it really pisses me off here on Long Island, New York.

The traffic is insane. People who do not use blinkers, okay? You get a lot of love when you use blinkers, but they just keep going and turning wherever they want, whenever they want. And the other thing is the drag races that come right up to your bumper and then skirt in and out of traffic. It's crazy. It's insane. extremely dangerous. And I don't know what those knuckleheads are thinking.

A friend of mine got into an accident with one of them never even called the cops. To me, that doesn't make sense. I want to take every one of those hot riders off the streets. Des, I love you. Comedy is great. You know, I love this one because obviously traffic, universal complaint. Indicator usage, blinker usage. I actually forgot that I guess I grew up saying blinkers. And now I say indicator because the Irish don't say blinkers. It's one of those moments. but what really what I really liked about this message was

I haven't complained enough in my life about the drag racer guys these fucking assholes on highways in America but very common in New York and Miami by the way let us know in the Spotify comments or on the Google phone number

9-1-7-5-1-2-17-8 or 646-4-2-3 7-020, let us know if your city has these boy racers, as we call them in Ireland. Ireland has the boy racers, but you don't see as much of the highway whipping around. But sadly, we've had a lot of very tragic road debts in Ireland from, you know, just people on the smaller Irish country roads thinking that their rally car driver is very sad. Anyway, these guys don't get enough hate. these fucking whipping through traffic guys I like

one of my top pet pet peeves in humanity and listen we've all done a bit of speeding in our time but like the whippers man it's so fucking you know and it's like you never want somebody to get hurt but I'm going to admit it right now I have wished ill on some of these some of these whippers as they whip by me God forgive me

I don't know if you know that Narlane you you got a pass when you say, God forgive me. So you could be like, sometimes I just wish they were dead. God forgive me. And then it's okay, what you said. So God forgive me. I have wished ill on them.

By the way, I didn't wish ill on these people. But one time I was with my buddy driving on the LIE, Queens, and a particularly bad, you know, drag race collection whipped by at a speed that was incredible. And literally, within about 15. seconds, we saw them flip and they were okay. We actually saw them running because I passed as they were running across the L.A. to get out of their car. The car had flipped over like five times. So it's incredibly dangerous, incredibly irresponsible. We hate them. If you're one of them,

either stop or I hope that you get your license suspended. I hope something happens to stop you because it's just, it's, it's so dangerous. It's so insensitive. You're an asshole. You have some insecurities. I don't know where they're stemming from, but, you know, you need some therapy. You know, maybe, I don't know, maybe you were spoiled

and nobody told you not to do things or the opposite. Maybe your parents treated you like shit, and this is your way of sort of like expressing dominance over the world that you don't have to follow. their rules, whatever it is. And you're a man, by the way. You're a man. I don't think this is controversial to say, I have never, if I've ever had a chance to watch this car blur past me, it's never a woman. So you're a man. You're most likely under 25. You got a lot of testosterone. You don't know how much of a dick you're being, but you're a dick. You're not listening to this pot,

unfortunately because you don't want to hear my my nuance takes you know you don't want to hear my desire and ability to you know understand the the fairness and unfairness of society and how in some small way we can try to change that you don't want to hear that you're red-pilled you're fucking listening to andrew tate you're an asshole okay you don't always have to be an asshole though you know there's a lot of reformed assholes out there this is this is something we don't talk about enough. There's no such thing as once an asshole, always an asshole, right? There are things such as your asshole behavior will tarnish you for life, right? There are full, there are full life consequences for some of this asshole behavior. This is without a shadow of a doubt. But

you don't have to be an asshole for life. So for all you assholes who are not listening to me, but maybe there are people that are married to an asshole, raising an asshole, raised by an asshole, maybe there's people that are asshole adjacent right now that are listening to this. Let your asshole know. It's not once an asshole always an asshole. There is hope for you. Okay? So rehabilitate yourself.

All right? Stop whipping through cars on the highway. You're literally saving yourself 10 minutes max. Long Island's not that long. Let's get into the geography of it. Long Island is not that long. okay I'm not doing the math but if you crank up that car 30 35 miles an hour more think about how much time you're saving your life it's not that much bro it's not that much

for the risk that you're taking the risk assessment analysis on this behavior the reward I get I know what your reward is your reward isn't time your reward is it you're getting a kick out of doing it you're showing off in front of your friends all right if there's a woman in the car she's literally drying up. It's like the goddamn Sahara down there because of your fucking behavior. And you think she's impressed? No.

She can't believe she's in the car with you, bro. It's arid, extra dry down below because of your behavior. Right? But you don't know that because you're an idiot. You're a young man. Misinformed, entitled. Stupid!

So he's saying, I'm a feckin' egot. Okay? but it doesn't have to be that way for life. Okay, so face yourself, all right? Be comfortable with who you are, and it will be amazing how much dumb behavior you no longer have to do, all right? And I want to tell you that you're worth it, all right?

Even though a lot of the world will turn on you. A lot of the world will think you're an asshole for life. You're worth it. Come, come join the dialers and be part of a healthier mindset here on Burn a phone. Anyway, thank you for your wonderful message. And let's, this is it, you know, this is timely, okay?

Interesting. Hey, Des, love the pod. My gripes with the year so far is Americans just discovering the World Cup. Like, come on. You're so embarrassing. This is the biggest game in the world, and we're lucky enough to host it. It makes me so mad. I guess at least they're discovering the magic now, but, oh.

Yeah. You know, so I'm conflicted on this because, so I grew up in a soccer house, football house. I actually wasn't that crazy about soccer. I was kind of like more into like talking to the referees and hanging out with the dads on the sideline, you know. We were Orban Dale. That was our club, Flushing Queens. My brothers were big soccer guys. My dad was a big soccer guy.

I probably let him down a little bit. I just wasn't in to soccer, right? He always says, you would have been a great goalie, man. But I just wasn't into it, you know? But I loved going to the games, like my brother's games, and like talking to all the Italians on the sideline. This is the whole thing. whole love, hate, Irish, Italian thing.

It's really a love thing. The hate part is just for humor, because, you know, I'm going to shout them out. You know, I used to love talking to Mr. Fumato, Giulio Petruchelli, you know, just these great men on the sidelines that, I don't know, I think I just started to make them laugh. That's the truth.

And they seem to like having me around too, because I always ended up talking to them. And when I see them today, you know, Julio, he's been to a few of my shows, his wonderful wife, Nancy, some of the greatest people on the planet. So I always love it when they come to my show. Because I feel like they're part of my story, you know. They were the people that gave me the confidence to be myself on the sideline, be silly. So to all those parents on the sidelines that tolerated my antics,

because I wasn't interested in being on the person. pitch. I did like sport, but I just wasn't into soccer. However, I've always enjoyed watching it. And so we are a soccer house. And in this house, in our house, for decades, there's always been this hope that one day America will embrace football, you know, that Americans will finally realize that the rest of the world is on to something, right? But that, of course, that's the problem with American exceptionalism or this sense of, you know, America does this is American stuff, right? And okay, basketball, baseball, I love baseball. I love, like, I love all sports. I'm not anti any of these sports. But there was just something about the fact that America was different.

It was, oh, you know, and you listen to these sports, you know, WFAN. And listen, I, I love the Mets. So I love WFAN, but it was always a dismissal of football. You know, there was a dismissal of soccer in a way that was, like, annoying. It's like, okay, guys, choose to remain in ignorance, but the rest of the planet, you think the rest of the planet is dumb? You know, the ignorance of it would drive me insane, you know? Just, just, and then it's so boring, it's only like two goals. It's like, what?

You think every basket in basketball is excited? Like, it's, good pass is analogous to a fucking layup, you know? But it's okay. All you're doing is admitting that you don't understand the game. And I don't mind that you don't understand the game. But instead of trying to prove to the majority of humanity that they're wrong, right, which is just the height of fucking ignorance, right? Instead of trying to prove to humanity, oh, you're all wrong, and the shit we like is better than yours,

why don't you just go, I don't understand it. And that's okay. I don't understand cricket, okay? Am I going to tell fucking Indians and Bangladeshis and Pakistanis and Sri Lankans and people in the Caribbean? Am I going to tell them you're fucking wrong? Cricket sucks? No. I'm just going to be like, I don't understand it. Okay? It's not for me.

But I'm not going to be like you're all wrong. Right? It's fucking ridiculous. You know? Australia's in English, you know, they get obsessed about the ashes. You know? Most of you listen, don't even know what the ashes. I didn't know what the fucking ashes. I don't give a fuck, okay? But are they wrong? No. I don't understand it. It's not for me.

It's a cricket competition between Australians and English, by the way, in case you wonder. So, in reference to this message, am I pissed off that they're suddenly into the walk up? I'm actually not. I'm actually delighted because it's literally been like my family's mission for our entire lives to hope one day one of these things. I mean, shit, I'm old enough to remember the cosmos,

the fucking New York Arrows, indoor soccer in Nassau Calcium. I mean, there have been efforts, effort after effort after effort. of trying to get something going. And the MLS has essentially been a success, not the mass success that we would like it to be, but more successful than people realize, you know. And the fact that as I speak, you know, America is definitely through to the next round. And if there is any way, because USA-94 did a bit, you know,

it did a bit that tournament. But if in some way, especially in this very strange political time, in some way, by the end of this World Cup, there's more football fervor. It's not going to bother me. It's not going to be a gripe. I'm going to celebrate it. And I think you're going to celebrate it, too. I know you're being a bit tongue-in-cheek, which is great, you know.

And we don't talk that much about sports on this, but it is, you know, big issue of the day. And, you know, it's been a little bit intertwined in the politics of the day. Because leading up to the tournament, there was a lot of concern about visas and about Iran coming, their team coming up. So all that's luckily gone on. without a hitcher from what I can see, which is a positive, I think, because, you know, what do we gain, even if, so say everything about the last number of a year and a half has been disastrous for you, right, which I would fall in that camp. What do we gain from more evidence of how impractical some of these policies are? Like, I, I would prefer.

the positives of the world coming together in America, a place where a lot of people, I can tell you right now, a lot of people in other parts of the world are afraid to come to the United States. The tourist numbers are there to prove it, okay? So people are actually afraid. If you don't want to admit that, if you're in denial about how American policy is being perceived internationally, that's fine, but I'm telling you, because I've been around the world and I, I can see the truth. Okay. People are afraid. All right. Of course, when they come to America, they don't feel that, right? They see that for a lot of people, life is going on as normal.

And I think it's a positive for people to come and maintain a sense of unity, a sense of together. You know, you saw it with the Knicks winning. There's something so positive about all different parts of New York coming together. And I think there will be something really positive about all different parts of the world coming together. Sport can do that, you know. You watch the Rugby War Cup in South Africa, you know, with Nelson Mandela. You know, there's been times where sport really mattered, you know. There's also been times where it's been dark, you know, Olympics, Adolf Hitler, you know, legitimizing a horrible man to the world.

So I'm not saying it's always been positive. But what I am saying is that sport does have the ability to bring people together in a way that's greater than just the sport itself. And I think the fact that America suddenly are like clicking at the right time playing really well. They're already through. I think this could be good for soccer in America and it will be good for the world. All right. And forgive me for sort of looking at the extreme, extreme bright side. But I'm all for it.

And for those that are old enough, for those. soccer people who in the 80s had to watch soccer on the Spanish channels because it was literally the only way to watch soccer. I see you. Okay. I'm learning Spanish now, but in my childhood, you know, it would just, it would just be like, all you could hear is the name. So it'll be like, Esther, my son, by the way, I apologize. I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just, I'm trying to give you what I was hearing as an eight-year-old. okay or 10 year old Mexico 86 is it's really

Mexico 86 is the World Cup that I'm talking about okay Mexico 86 this is what I heard you know Basta a barra da barra da barra marat donna bar that's what I would hear

and then obviously go which is in the special I have a I have a go joke in my special okay so Anyway, that ended up being more nostalgia than I thought. A shout out to my channel 41, 47, football watchers, man.

UHF, UHF dial up in this motherfucker. I need to get one of those on my board here. So let's take another jingle. When people hear that Mint Mobile plans are only $15 a month, a lot of people wonder what's the catch? Well, let me tell you, now that I am a Mint Mobile customer, the burn a phone, WhatsApp number, runs on a Mint Mobile phone. I can tell you that there's no catch. I couldn't believe it. Just how much good value there is.

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Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton Debit Flex Card, and BankCore Debit Flex Card, savings provided by Cash app, A Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Guys, it's grilling season, and Butcher Box is stepping up for me. I'll tell you one thing. When I get back home, I'm going to be hitting that Butcher Box subscription, get some great meats to get that grill rolling for 4th of July. going to have some people out at the house.

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Hello. I had called about doing jingles and I had been racking my brain with how many jingles I can make you guys. So here's another one. 9-17-5-6-8-8-3-1-9. I mean, listen, I'm really into her call nows, you know? So don't be afraid to message in with some, don't be afraid to message in with some jingles. So we're 33 minutes into the podcast.

Is it time to get a bit more serious? or do we can we do we have one more lighthearted one i think i think we got to get serious man all right let's go hello ptss does dj desy um so my gripe is all right obviously like the rich just get richer and you know people who are less fortunate um in life you know they struggle and yeah the whole thing like i don't understand is and i could just be ignorant i suppose but like if all of these people who have trillions and trillions of dollars and i'm talking about like you know what i'm talking about like whatever okay so why aren't you donating maybe maybe they are but i don't know i just feel like

the rich people are just accumulating all this wealth and like where is it going? And then another thing like why sorry I'm like whispering my baby's sleeping but why are why do rich people get

like handouts like if there's a major event like why are you sitting courtside for free when you're the ones who can afford it I just don't and I don't know I don't really have an issue with it I just don't really understand it. Like, if you can afford these things, why are you getting them for free? Whereas the people who absolutely cannot afford them, they're just not going to experience anything because they don't

have the money. But the people who have the money, it's like, oh, no, here you go, for free. I don't get it. And that's not me being better. I just, I genuinely, I'm just confused. But yeah, no, that's it. This is a good prompt because there are many. But I'm going to let this one go because I don't want to have it be too long on those people. Okay, goodbye. I like the fact that the dialers feel a responsibility now that they're not getting cut off at 60 seconds, they feel a responsibility to cut themselves off.

Guys, I'm very aware that this is a very complicated. situation. But let's let's tackle the obvious parts. Okay, first of all, the court side seat thing, you know, they're invite only, right? But I think the broader issue around that is that a lot of these sporting events coincidentally enough, we're just talking about the World Cup, a lot of the tickets have become too expensive. We all know this, and it becomes less of a spectator experience for the people. And, and And more for only the people who can afford this extravagance. You know, sport, live sport, that is, watching in, you know, watching the game at the stadium,

it used to be more of a common person experience. And now it has become like a bit of a luxury item, which is unfortunate. Very often the atmosphere of the game suffers as a result. and I just think that that is testimony to what is the burning issue of our time. The big issue

of our time is inequality particularly around unaffordability with housing. All right? And everyone pays lip service to it, which is what I was kind of alluding to a little bit when I was talking about the Queens Bridge houses

because I understand, and by the way, it's going to get, we're getting, it's going to go all over the place here because my brain is firing on all cylinders with a thousand things, right? And I'm not great at keeping my thoughts together. But to take it back to what was in my mind when I was talking about the Queensbridge houses earlier was, yes, there were aspects of those types of developments, post-war public housing developments. There were aspects of them that was bad design and sort of like ill thought. out thinking. But on the flip side, what we've had largely since the era of government's feeling like housing was sort of one of the top three things that they needed to look after for their people, what we've had since that era is a laissez-faire attitude to housing, which has led us to this insane in affordability, right? And for all the ills of, um, you know, you know, neglect, like public housing development, neglect and just like some of the problems that it caused, it also housed so many people. And those communities are humongous, right? And obviously, we need an evolution. Like, so, okay, so what we learned, read about Robert Moses, right? You can read

about that era of moving away from slums, you know, essentially moving away from tenement living, confined spaces right right to give it a public high what sorry tower blocks basically right with green space that was the vision

but it didn't really work because what you did was you isolated the community right only one way in one way out and suddenly you've disconnected the people from the actual community itself from the energy of the city right and it created problems

right but that didn't mean that we had to stop doing it it just means that we should have continued to create public housing that was better integrated into the city right not to mention to not you know obviously part of the problem was they were raising really interesting parts of the city but oh god i'm so knee deep in my own shit now i don't even have time to get into it but of course for every neighborhood that was saved like the west village jane jacobs god bless her amazing woman right she saved the west village which is amazing we would hate the west village to not be the way it is today. But on the flip side, it's one of the most expensive places to live in the world.

Right? So this is the whole thing that's crazy. It's like everyone thinks they has a solution, right? Everyone thinks they have a solution. But for every solution, there is a problem, which is save the West Village. Now it's the most expensive place to live in the world, right? And that housing that was going to be there isn't there, which I'm glad about. Yeah, am I glad about that there's not Fifth Avenue doesn't cut right through Washington Square Park?

Of course, I'm glad about that. I'm fucking delighted about that. But at the same time, the housing isn't there. Right? So it's like, you know, and Stuytown works, right? So some of these developments actually did work. I'm no Robert Moses fan, okay? But what I am saying is that instead of just deciding this type of housing doesn't work,

we should have been like, we need to evolve this practice. And at some stage, we just stopped because it all became about developers' problems. profits, right? And I still think we're having a hangover from the 2008 economic crisis. But this is the big issue of our time. Okay. Housing, unaffordability, inequality, and to the broader point of the dialer, the intense flow of wealth up and not being dispersed. amongst the general populace, which has just been decades of lower taxes. And I get it. I understand the appeal of lower tax. I really do understand the appeal of lower taxation. The problem is that people expect the same level of service and support from their government and from society, but they don't want to invest in it. And I don't have all the solutions. I know it's so goddamn complicated. I don't have all the solutions. But here's my problems with the people that say,

oh, well, these people worked hard for it, you know, Bezos, Musk, they worked hard for it. I actually have no problem with people's extreme wealth. Okay. Bezos, a lot of these guys are lucky, you know, like, by the way, I'm not saying it's all luck, but it's just like timing, right? They happen to be from the generation that was able to benefit or take advantage the most of technological innovation, all right? And then their companies just got to a size where they could dominate. And that domination has brought them extreme wealth. All right?

I think we're at the time that Teddy Roosevelt was at where I feel like they should be coming. They should be creating more regulation against these companies. And I also think they should be breaking them up. That may or may not be coming. You know, Trump seems to like to sort of talk about Teddy Roosevelt. There's some sort of role model. But literally, it's that time, you know. Like Musk, Bezos, Alex Carlin.

Peter Thiel. These guys are the Vanderbilts, the Rockefellers, the Carnegie's. They're those people now. And eventually, you know, there was stuff put in place to put a halt to their dominance. Why? Because you can't have such small groups of people having this much power, particularly in a representative democracy. The people are supposed to have the power. And this is a very long way of me getting to the point of, I have no problem with extreme wealth. But what I do have a problem with is the advantage that that extreme wealth gives you once you have it, right? Because everyone's all about the meritocracy, right? Everyone wants to talk about it's a meritocracy.

And it's like, yeah, except that once you get the extreme wealth, the meritocracy goes out the window because you can rig the game. And they are rigging the game, particularly because of, in America, the ability for these people to finance campaigns. and by influence. It's a huge problem. And nobody, except for Bernie and his people, want to tackle this. I actually think that so much could be solved by such a simple thing.

This is so easy to achieve campaign finance reform. It's so easy to make it illegal for people with wealth to buy elections. It's so easy to do that. But there's so much pushback, you know, because the money is huge and money is such a corrupting force. But that's the first, I'm not saying it's going to solve everything, but it's certainly going to make things a little fairer, and it's going to take away the extreme advantage of wealth. You got your wealth, fine. Just live happy with your wealth. Why do you then have to fucking rig the system and have everything play your way?

from here on in, how much more do you need? That's what I can't understand. I can understand it from somebody like Alex Karp, who seems to have some fucking messianic complex where he literally wants to like change society into some sort of technocracy. This guy, I think he's fucking nuts, right? He's understandable because I think he's fucking bonkers.

But Jeff Bezos, it's like, dude, you got everything, bro. And you still want to rig the game. And you know what makes me sick at these guys? And here it comes. Right? They've all this fucking money. And they just immediately were so afraid they had to fucking suck up to Trump. And now they're going to have that stain for life, you know, to have sucked up to the extreme level of corruption that they're now connected to.

And by the way, I think all governments are corrupt. You know, sometimes when I complain about Trump, people are like, what about the Democrats? I'm not a fucking big fan of the Democrats either, bro. I'm a huge, I hate corruption. I hate the inequality of the system. I hate, you know, lobby groups influence over our politicians. I hate all that shit, you know. But I just think the level of corruption that we're seeing now, in plain sight, not hiding,

is the worst that I've seen in my existence, in my paying attention to such matters. So the gripe that I feel like, I think it's... I think it should be universally accepted, right? Even if you're super conservative, super left, right? Any part of the political spectrum, it should bother you that the extreme wealth gets you advantages that actually make the game unfair. Because if you're all for the market, competition,

you know, success, you know, people deserve success. and that they shouldn't be punished for success, which I agree with all that. If you believe in all that, then you should also agree that that extreme wealth that comes with that success should not allow you to game the system for yourself moving forward. I think that's uncontroversial and should be universal across all political ideologies. But it isn't, and I think that's largely because people tie their mass to the culture wars, and then they're willing to sacrifice other parts of their beliefs because they think that some of these exceptionally unimportant issues,

really in our society that get blown out of proportion to seem more important than they are. These culture war issues become the main drivers of the decisions that politicians make. And the main drivers for why people vote for these people? It's like these fucking things don't matter. And almost every single one of them, almost all these moral conundrums

that everybody bases their deep political beliefs. By the way, this is across the whole spectrum, okay? So don't think I'm targeting it. But these deep moral conundrums, everybody, when faced with the reality of that moral conundrum, doesn't have the same clarity or... What's the word I'm looking for here? God, I'm blanking on the word, but basically there's all these deep moral beliefs.

When you're faced with the actual decision, when it's related to you, not when it's related to an issue for society, but when it's related to you. You know, it's never black and white. And they're all doing it. They're all lying. They're all hiding. right so unfortunately these unimportant issues become the most important issues to people so they turn their back to all the aspects of the political system that are fucking them particularly around inequality because of it and it's unfortunate so that was a long one I apologize I don't get guys

this is just what it is you know I don't I don't I can't I can't pretend to not be this guy. I'm a champagne socialist. I'm actually not. I'm a straight-up capitalist, but I'm a social Democrat, bro. I really feel that we all gain, even the rich people, the rich people gain, the extreme wealthy gain from finding ways to get some of that money that's getting sucked to the top back down to the bottom. I actually think we all gain, you know, because here's the reality. Society eventually breaks down.

I'm not going to get into like post-apocalyptic shit, but eventually you end up with an amount of unfairness that brings revolution. This is a tale as oldest time. Okay? So there's been times over the last 10 years, Robin, like we're close, you know? Like, there's absolutely no reason. And by the way, it doesn't always mean it's going to be the type of revolution that you want.

I don't know who's going to rise up. But, like, it's getting close sometimes, you know. And then that just brings decades, if not centuries of upheaval. You know, like, people, I just read history, man. Like, there's just been long, long periods of dysfunction in humanity. It's not a guarantee that we can't, we won't end up in another one, you know? I think sometimes, look, God knows that all the different conflicts that are going on in the world, there's just so much that could really go tits up right now.

So, rich people, if you're listening, which you're not, just realize that some of your greed is going to come back to bite you in the ass one day if you don't fucking pay attention. That's why Peter Thiel's in fucking Argentina, just in case the shit hits the fan. That's where they go when the shit hits the fan. Argentina. All right, let's, God, I've jammed myself up now. How do I fuck?

You know what? I'm going to play this one because it's a good, it's a good, it's a good sort of opposite to what I was just talking about. Guys, I love Wayfair for all our outdoor furniture out in West Hampton. You know, I just, sometimes I feel it sounds like we're boasting about our extravagant lifestyle, but we've always had a house. My family always had a house out in West Hampton. And in the days where I started decorating it, I always hit Wayfair up.

I got amazing Wayfair outdoor couch. I have eight, count them eight incredible Wayfar Sun loungers. They come as four, and I got, they were such good value, and they look so good that I ended up getting eight. Love Wayfair, great throw pillow. They get so much cool stuff, you know, because not only do they have the incredible furniture, but then they got loads of great accessories where you can sort of freshen it up every year, change it up a little bit. And sometimes, you know, I'll go to, like, other sites

and I'll be like, oh, let me see what else is there. I always come back to Wayfar. Because the variety, quality, and price, it's not going to be beaten, in my opinion. What are they got? Outdoor seating, grills, major appliances, storage, patio lighting, rugs, decor. Wayfar is your one-stop shop for home.

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You can shop with Wayfair verified your shortcut to the good stuff. Their team of product specialist vets everything by hand using a 10-point inspection, testing things like quality of materials, functionality, and features, and even how long takes to build. So Patio season is here, and these deals won't last. Fair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less. Way fair, every style, every home. Listen, you're not going to like this, but it's hard to have gripes when you no longer

watch the news. Like, after the election, whatever year that was a couple years ago, I literally the next day I said, no news. I'm not watching the news. I'm not watching TV. I'm not listening to my pop. I'm not reading any news when people start talking about politics or anything going on in the world. I am no longer listening.

Turning off my ears, I need to protect my peace. And the truth is that when I know about these things, am I informed? Yes. Am I pretty interested in it? Yes. However, the truth of the matter is there is very little to nothing that I can do about it. like other than vote, which I will do, and I do do, but that's pretty much it. I don't, otherwise, it's just going to be upsetting to me.

It's just going to, whatever the kids say these days, raise my cordis is all, you know, okay? It's not worth it. And I'll tell you what, what a peaceful first half of 2026. Absolutely beautiful. I recommend it. And, you know, I'm not going to disagree. I actually think it's good advice. I mean, I choose not to do that,

and I choose to pay attention to all the information, and I choose to have those high cortisol levels. But I'm not going to disagree that this is not good advice. And I'm not even going to disagree and say, well, then you're ill-informed, because is there a benefit to being informed when you feel so powerless? versus just having a bit more peace in your life? I don't know.

I mean, the powerlessness is real. I have to say it's one of the reasons why I don't take strong stances on Instagram is for my cortisol levels. You know, I'm very happy on podcasts to talk about my stuff. But on Instagram where it's just a bit more, I have the ability to just see a lot more stuff coming at me. it's hard not to get wound up. So I try to keep my Instagram a little more calm and peaceful.

So I get what you're saying, 100%. And yeah, I think this is just a very valid take on the opposite of what just happened to me, which is me getting sort of my very unorganized thoughts out on a public platform. So good advice. I don't know which is better, honestly. I really don't know which is better.

I tend to be on the, I like to be informed side of things. But these days, honestly, I could completely understand why you would want to tune out because it is relentless. I also think that you probably didn't hear your own message being played because you were already gone. You were already gone after my long. one. So let me see it here. You know, I might just leave it there. Let me, let me do a lighthearted prompt suggestion that we might do in the future. And, uh, and then I will, I will say goodbye.

I apologize. If you can hear it for a nap, you know, um, nah, so I have a prompt suggestion. I always feel like I don't be am you much and I don't want to annoy you. Um, but maybe we can do and anyway, we can do an episode on, I think we've already done it, but maybe oddly satisfying things, because I was pulled my dog because he's shutting. I'm getting warmer, and let me tell you, I'm a woman in a heterosexual. When I say that it was like almost as good as sex, I'm not easier to, you know, I'm going to tear off my dog, but you know what I feel I'm saying. Anyway, or maybe we can also do, I think, a fun one, all in good fun and joking.

Good fun and joking around. I think we should do one where it's like reasons why you think you're better than everybody else. You know, like joking. Like mine would be, I do not and have my husband get to him really bad, and I doubt on this for it. I'm not going on. Oh, my God. Very good prompt suggestions, in fairness. particularly the second one reasons why I think I'm better than everybody else.

I mean, one would be I speak a few languages. But it won't be for next week. I said next week's one already, which of course I've already forgotten. But definitely for the future reasons why you think. Oddly satisfying things, yeah. Although I actually,

I find the pet hair thing not satisfying because it's just like it's a never-ending task, you know? but reasons why I think are better than everybody else. Very good. We'll do that in the future. Thanks for the message. Thanks for reminding me how hard parenting is. What else do we have? Oh, yeah.

By the way, I am very aware that I have not put forward any good housing solutions. I really, on that front, I'm very disheartened because I'm not exactly sure what is going to solve that problem. but we'll figure that out another day. The only thing I will say is that every major city in the world, certainly every, you know, I don't even like saying Western city or developed countries. Like it's so judgmental, but basically like every city that, I guess, sort of has wealth,

every wealthy city in the world has a housing crisis. they in all these different countries they talk about it like it's a distinctly Berlin issue London issue Dublin issue Sydney issue but actually it's a global issue so eventually you know there will be a moment where they will have to actually be something quite revolutionary done in relation to that I just don't know what that would be or what

what way society will start to reorganize itself, you know, because that's the other thing is that we're on the cusp of such technological upheaval that perhaps society may actually start to, you know, group in different ways. I mean, we're still living in cities that exist for reasons that aren't as important as they used to be. So it may also just resolve itself. I don't know, but in the short term, I have it. I see a lot of people talking about on the campaign trail.

but then in practice, nobody has been able to come up with a solution. I don't totally criticize them for that because I actually think that once they're in power, they look and they realize that it's a fucking incredibly difficult situation, particularly the way the voter, you know, the way the electorate want society to run. They want society to run with low taxation, limited government interference, but they want the results of high taxation and high government interference. So until they figure out how to find some way to balance that, that doesn't bring us back to a time where maybe society was less competitive and less dynamic,

but resolves the issue of the inequality that's come from whatever the fuck we have now, until they figure that out, I'm not sure. And that's why I would never be a politician. And that's why I don't like to just do all this like overly simple dismissal of politicians because I actually think it's incredibly complicated. But I think that the corruption in America right now, not just from the current regime that's in power, but in general, the corruption is actually something that could be tackled a bit easier. I would love to see that tackled first.

I think it would be a great first step. So anyway, guys, that's been a more serious episode of Burnaphone, which of course I love. You may or may not love. But we'll be back next week. I'll be back to normal scheduling. Nicole will actually, should be back in studio with me, raining me in, pulling me back from such intensity. I have some shows, by the way, which I keep forgetting to say, at the end of July in Tampa, Orlando, and Miami, Dural, Florida. Miami Improv, Tampa and side splitters, and I believe it's Orlando Funny Bone,

which I did with Hannah once in a different iteration name, but same building. And so do check that out. That will be the beginning of my next tour, which I am calling Gray Area. Des Bishop Gray Area touring late 2026, 2027. Don't forget my specials out next Friday, which is, you know, if you're Irish and you've been following for a long time. You'll see that I did recycle some material from before, but it was very much kind of like made fresh on the American road. And at the end of the day, this special is largely for people who haven't seen me before. So I kind of, I felt, well, you know, why would I not use

some of these bits that the majority of America has never seen? Oh, I might as well, you know what, I might as well tell you guys, because I'm not sure how much I'm supposed to say this, but the Hulu deal that I have is interesting in that it's exclusively on Hulu for two weeks and then after two weeks it'll be going up on my YouTube. So just for the dialers, private message

here dialers, in two weeks it'll be on my YouTube. And you may may not know this, but I reshot it because the specs needed to be higher for Hulu, but I'll probably put up the original one that I shot last year also, and you can compare.

If you must know, so you want to get the insight scoop. The version I shot recently looks way better, but actually the vibe in the audience wasn't as good, just like just the way it is. But the material is like tighter because I was touring it for another year. Whereas the one from a year ago, energy better in the crowd, material looser, I don't look as good. But I think there are there are positives. and negatives in both of them, but that's just the nature of life performance. And that's what sucks about recording specials is there forever, you know? And there's just, you know, that that always affects your performance, actually.

And I think it affects the audience sometimes because they feel it, you know. They feel it in the crowd. They're like, oh, that was weird. And then they're like, oh, that's, he's recording. And they, they get, stresses them out. So I feel like sometimes it can take them out of the moment. So anyway, guys, we'll be. back next week. Don't forget, like and subscribe, leave your comments on Spotify.

Hit me up. Google number. Might as well give it one more time. 9-175-1-2-1758 or plus 1-6464-2-370-0. Leave voice notes. By the way, sometimes people are calling the WhatsApp. I will not be answering. Leave a voice note on WhatsApp. That's how we do it. For our Canadian dialers, Check your plan, because for some people, you don't get charged for an American call, so then you might as well just call it the Google number. By the way, not that I don't want people using the WhatsApp, but I don't get a transcription on the WhatsApp, just so you know. So if you have American calls included in your plan in Canada, called 911-5-1-217-5-8, if not plus 1-6-46, 4-2-370-0. The Irish, obviously you know, Irish and everywhere else.

Hit me up on WhatsApp. Americans. another bit of American exceptionalism. Don't really use WhatsApp. What's that about? Come on, America. Join the world. Send some WhatsApps and like soccer.

Okay? You're into the next round of the World Cup. It's time to join the planet. And I say that as an American, who sometimes gets annoyed at American pride and just being that little bit different. So here we go, guys. We're on to next week.

Thank you so much. Girmiel, Magui. much thanks thanks thank you Sloan