Berner Phone - Braunwyn Windham-Burke: Leaving Bravo & The Reality Of Being A Housewife

Episode Date: July 1, 2021

Fresh off the news that she is not coming back to the Real Housewives of Orange County, Braunwyn reflects on her experience on reality tv and her current relationship with alcohol, her sexuality, and herself.  GET TICKETS TO MY COMEDY SHOWS HERE: https://www.hannahberner.com/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning and Hell. We're a Thursday pod now. We're growing. We're evolving. We're learning. We're changing. We're embracing it. Hell yet. I want to say thank you to you guys for all the nice messages for my intro last week. I was like, I need to start doing intros. I need to start feeling more connected with people. Um, especially knowing that like, yeah, I've been going through some hard times. And that's what this podcast is about. So I'm like, shit. Instead of just interviewing other people and being like, how do you get through your house? I might as well talk about my hell a little. I mean, I do think being in the public eye in like a reality TV type form is interesting because, I mean, being on reality TV is like a drug. You know, you go on. You don't do much. I mean, you just kind of be yourself to an extent. And then you see kind of who you are in the group and how people judge the friendships

and the relationships it's it's um it's kind of some scary high school shit and depending on like who if people wanted to start drama with you if you didn't get involved in drama whatever long short it's wild and that's why reality tv is so great um but it's a drug because you go on a show and then people legitimately treat you like you're the fucking beetles when you were just peeing in hot tubs and you're getting hundreds of thousands of followers and you're like this is fucking awesome and you know i had two seasons that were like just i mean i just went and did me and it was great and then you know the last season in the pandemic was intense i felt like i was decided to put my foot down and stand up to people who i felt were being very

disrespectful to me um in a lot of different ways and then um as things get simplified it's tough when you decide to get in the drama it gets messy and i feel like i haven't been on here talking about it because a lot of people have been you know throwing my name around and it's and if you respond to it then like you're just playing in the mud and it just continues and like i just wanted to stop i didn't want to be part of the drama every time i'd see an alert for an article about me i'd have a panic attack and i'd read it and it's like i was reading about an avatar about me and I didn't or I would get alerts of um you know people who were doing like hate campaigns on me and it's like he's wild um I'm like so lucky to I guess be in a position where I'm doing what I

love but there's dark sides of it too and um I wanted to have Bronwyn on because I don't know Bronwyn and um obviously she had a wild season she you know came out she admitted to the world that she's an alcoholic she was going through a lot of marital issues she's dealing with you know having a shit ton of children and mothering them and then she just found out that she's not coming back to the show anymore and i felt like this could be an interesting time of obviously we have you know different stories but talking to someone else who you know is not coming back to that specific bravo show they were on and you know transitions can be hard and weird and she's raw like she's a couple days out um so i felt lucky to kind of catch her in that time to see kind of how she's doing how she's

coping and i think you guys are going to really like this episode oh romeo just walked in also i am going on tour to Philly this weekend. A lot of people were like, we're going to the Jersey Shore. We're July 4th weekend, Jersey Shore. It's going to rain. It's going to rain. I'm sorry to be the bear of bad news. But you should just stay in Philly and come to my comedy shows, like I said, Helium. Then I'm going to be at Richmond the following week. Hell yeah, where my Virginia Little Devils at. And then, sorry, I'm just pulling it up just to make sure I get all the facts straight for you guys. Then I'm going to be in Indianapolis, West Nyack, Texas. Kansas City, check out hannahburner.com for all of them but um also you're like okay hannah

so you're not doing the reality show this summer so now you're doing the stand-up tour and people are like very excited they're like this is amazing you're just standing it's amazing but then i've been like okay we're going from like intense emotional reality TV stuff to like not really taking a break and then going on tour but like this is how i cope with my health sometimes i'm like rather than like sitting in it and feeling all my feelings i'm like let's get to work let's get to work but um it's not healthy it's not a healthy coping mechanism so i mean i am in therapy working on trying to understand my feelings that it's okay to be sad that it's okay to feel wronged or it's okay to feel misunderstood and, um, and also it's okay to make mistakes.

So I went into this interview with Bronwyn with a lot of empathy as someone who's like putting themselves out there, also trying to make the best television show that they can through their vulnerability. Um, and obviously during a pandemic, things were really intense. So I, um, I feel like we're going to learn a lot more about Bronwyn on this episode and I'm interesting to hear your thoughts. So let's tune in to a new episode of Burning and Hell. That was what I did. I went out, I had a few drinks.

I made out with girls and that was enough to like get me through almost. Dip your toe in the water a little. Yeah, you know, like, no, I didn't dip the toe. I was diving into bleeding. It wasn't my toes that were getting wet. Welcome to Burning Hell and Hell.

You know, this guest, she doesn't really need an introduction. She is one of my favorite housewives, or former housewife, Bronwyn Wyndham Burke, who wherever she goes, she shines, and you'll never forget this bitch. Bronwyn, welcome to hell. I just came up with that. I love it. couldn't think of a better interjection. It's so nice to be here. And you're going through a lot of transitions right now. You've also been going through a lot of identity stuff. I feel like everyone can relate to you in some capacity of the shit that you've experienced in the public eye. Did you ever think

you'd be living your life in the public eye? Not really. I mean, think about it. I got married at 22. I dropped out of college. I had seven kids. I was a soccer mom and a dance mom. And I, some people kind of audition for the show or know people. I didn't know anyone. It was literally, I had 600 followers on Instagram when I got the thing from casting, would you like to audition? I'm like, yeah, that sounds fun. I've been changing diapers for 20 years. Cool. So no, absolutely not. And I will say, like, our family was so cool and great. And I thought it was amazing. And I was like, yeah, this is such a great thing we've got going. Let's showcase this. Were you happy just being a mom? Or did you feel like you were meant to do more

stuff. I would say for 17 years, I was happy being a mom at home without a career. And then after the birth of my seventh baby, she was about eight months old. And I remember sitting and bent crying because I needed something more in my life. So Bella was 18, my oldest. So I've been doing this a long time. And I was just crying. I had kids in my 20s, 30s and 40s. So three decades of my life. Oh my God. And I was in bed crying. I need something more. And Sean, my husband was like, you know, I'll support you. Do you want to open up? I love clothes. You know, a store, like, whatever it is, I'll help you. And I got the phone call for Housewives two days later. Wow. Talk about the universe knowing that you're ready. Now, you have to deal with a lot.

What were some of the positives that you learned about yourself from Housewives? How much stronger I am than I knew. I remember the first time a photo got leaked of me when I was still, I hadn't been announced yet. And someone was making fun of my outfit or something's so small. I was like, what? I mean, you know, it hurt me because I only had people on my Instagram that I knew. So I think after two years of getting such hate and such mean comment, you develop a thick skin. You start to realize that none of that matters.

You start to realize that you're stronger than you thought you were. I don't know about you, but you start to develop a fuck you attitude. Like, fuck you. Fuck you. fuck you um and i never had a fuck you attitude before i was like oh i'm sorry oh am i in the way oh fuck you well i think it could go two ways you could try to be liked by everyone and then you realize that's impossible and then you kind of are forced to be like fuck you and find that like sanity within yourself but my question to you is if you didn't do housewives do you think that you

would have, A, come out as lesbian or B, told everyone that you are an alcoholic? I think I would have tried to stop drinking, for sure, because this is not the first time I've tried to stop drinking. This is my third time. So I definitely think I would have tried to stop drinking. Would it have worked? I don't know, because some of my lowest moments, the only thing that kept me sober were me feeling a sense of responsibility to the viewers. Not to say that that's what keeps you sober, it can't, but there were some dark moments where I'm like, I'm not going to let everyone down. So I don't, I think I would have kept trying to get sober my whole life.

This would, like most people with problems, I don't think I would stay sober. I truly don't. Would I have come out? No, I don't think I would have because I could have continuously just been doing what I was doing. Stay married, you know, make out with girls on the side because that was what I did. I went out, I had a few drinks. I made out with girls.

And that was enough to, like, get me through almost. Dip your toe in the water a little. Yeah. You know, like, no, I didn't dip the toe. I was diving into the lady. It wasn't my toes that were getting wet. But, you know, I think once, like, the photos came out, I was like, okay, you have to own this for what it is. And I think there is an ownership when you're in the public eye of you have to be truthful, no matter, at least for me, my whole thing was, no matter what, at least I'm going to tell the truth.

love me or hate me at least i'm honest and so i think it forced me to admit that yes i'm gay i've kind of just been hiding behind it and making it work patching it with you know girl here there but it is so nice to be out out it is so like it is amazing bitch cannonballed she cannonballed into this season but my question is i'm not a therapist but do you think there's a correlation between you coming out and you now kind of continuing to be sober. Yeah. One of the reasons I drank is because I was so uncomfortable in my own skin and my own identity.

And I don't have the statistics here with me, but I think like 40% or the addiction rates in the LGBTQIA plus community are like 10, 40 times more than in the straight community. So yes, there is a correlation. And that's something that I think a lot of people and a lot, you know, are aware of and trying to help with. Well, it's great also that you're raising awareness and going a podcast like this and talking about it.

It's also interesting that I feel like you have these, you've so many children, but you have a bunch of teenagers who are watching come of age on the show too. I know that they're learning about their sexuality. And it almost seems like you guys are kind of going through this identity discovery together in a way. Have you found that you've connected with them during this time of like change and transition? I think the best part was Jacob.

When Jacob came out and was doing, I mean, came out doing drag. Jacob is straight. I think I always have to, he has, he is trying to decide gender. He, they, them. Like, that's where we're at. But Jacob, at the moment, is straight. So when Jacob started doing drag, because Jake loves wearing dresses and heels, even in everyday life,

that's all what Jake leaves the house, makeup, hair, heels. And he looks stunning. Cunning, right? So when Jacob started doing drag, I think having the support of Sean and I, because it wasn't just me. His dad is there 100% to rock in heels. So to have that, I think made Jacob realize, oh my God, my parents love me unconditionally. So when I came out and got sober, I was like, of course I'm going to love you unconditionally. Like, this is what we do in this family. You do you. And it's also like if

you're going to love him during this time of some confusion or evolving, you have to be able to love yourself as well and have that same empathy. But you're also dealing with all this stuff that most families deal with in private. What is it like having? It's not just like just all of America, anyone with a keyboard, being able to judge your family, your marriage, your sexuality. I mean, honestly, looking back, I probably should have kept some more to myself because I am like an open book. Anything that comes in my head, I say. Same zies. And now I was talking to my dad this morning. He's like, yeah, honey, you're like, you're an idiot. I thought. you were smart in that you should have kept some stuff to yourself but for you to be on reality TV

what makes you good is being an open book and you can't in the moment decide what to show and what to not are you come off fake no though because on my cast the people that are the fakes last the longest you're right I agree with your sentiment like in fear right and when you get cast on the show they're like that's what they told you to do but the people that last the longest On my cast, the person... They have skeletons in their closet that stay in the closet. It's on there. So, in retrospect, for anyone who's going to be on a reality show, when they tell you to be real,

don't do that. They don't actually be real. What they want is like a very, at least in Orange County, whitewashed version of reality. And then I come in with rainbows and it's like, oh, crap. Well, yeah, they do like it. Stories in general are so oversimplified. And, like, you are showing that women are so complex and a housewife is so complex. And I guess the word crazy is thrown around a lot.

I got called crazy a lot because I was upset at how some men were treating me. You got called crazy for experiencing your life. When it's like during the pandemic, who was not crazy? Right. Also, this was a pandemic. No one talks about that. Yeah. Like, yeah.

Okay, first of all, when people talk about crazy, I hate when you weaponize mental health. Like, stop that. We don't make diagnoses unless you're trained. But to say that I was mentally unstable during the pandemic, okay yeah that's fair like it was hard i was struggling with my sexuality sobriety i had eight kids at home it was a lot right like just yeah it was a lot and i'm used to you know i'm a social person i'm used to going out i'm used to having you know help and it was just me i'm like oh my god i would never have had these many kids if i knew i was going to be stuck in the house with

well you're also stuck alone with your own thoughts do you think that the pandemic helped you realize things about yourself? Yeah. Well, for me, I kind of fell in love with my relationship with my best friend. You know how some of us like quarantined in. Yes, pods. So for me, that kind of became a real thing. So as I'm quarantining, I'm falling in love with one person kind of realizing, wait,

the direction that I've been going isn't really where I think I'm going to end up. And so there was a lot. There was a lot going on in our house, a lot. And then, you know, I was dealing with teenagers that weren't doing well because they were hit the hardest in my house. My teens were just out of all their activities and whatever. They're zooming. You know, my teens were doing not great. My little kids thrived.

I will say my younger kids did amazing. They were like, pizza party. In Orange County, they got to go back to summer camp. Oh. But so like in Newport Beach, after two. and a half months little kids were allowed to go to summer camp in school so the good part about living in such a conservative boozy town is we kind of said fuck the rules our kids got to go and although I try to stand up against that I did advantage of it that time you're like sometimes it's not as bad

I do want to know though like the social scene because I'm from Brooklyn I've never been to Orange County it's I love watching OC because it's so different but like status and money is obviously very important. And you were like one of the queens of society in my perspective of like you had the kids, you had the house, you have the hot husband. Now you just want a reality TV and blew that shit up. How are you feeling now in the like social world of Orange County? Like do you feel like you fit in? Well, I never. Do you need to move to New York? Do you go to Tribeca? Oh, you know, it's funny? We actually had that conversation. like two nights ago.

That was actually, because I loved Tribebacker for the kids. The school's down. I was manifesting that for you. So keep in mind, we lived in Miami, although I grew up in Laguna in Orange County. We lived in Miami for a very long time. And I remember my older kids coming back and they're kind of looking around. They're like, mom, everyone speaks English. I'm like, I know.

It's weird. Everyone's white. I'm like, mm-hmm. And so for them, there was a lack of culture. I was never part of the Orange County scene. It's not my thing. small top vagueness. I joined like the the Babbo obey club

and I had to leave because I'm like, I can't do this. It's like a Trump convention every time I go. And then when I came out, it was just like, oh, hell no. We're not going to have like a lesbian here. Like if you're like a fabulous gay guy, that's cool. But like lesbians aren't as, you know, those aren't as fancy. They don't like to decorate as much. Like every stereotype about the LGBTQ community is pretty alive and well in Orange

County. So I have found a new group of friends. I spent a lot of time in West Hollywood. I mean, I would say some of my best friends now are like younger gay people because I feel more comfortable around them. When I go to the soccer field right now, I feel like I have a scarlet letter on me. And it is so uncomfortable. I mean, that sounds so difficult, but also I'm proud of you for realizing like this is not my circle, finding a circle. Maybe we need to pitch like an L word in the O.C. type.

That would be, so I'm dating Fernanda right now. She was on Housewives season six. She was a friend of Taylor. Was she out at the time? Yeah, yeah. She was actually going, it was before she was allowed to be legally married. So she calls her her wife, Marion. They're still best friends now.

They own a business. They were going through some issues. Then she was very, very out. So she's been out for a while. She has kind of taken me under her wing. She has a great network of amazing lesbian women in Orange County, mainly Laguna. And I'm very grateful for that. that's been kind of my safe place. But there is a small, cool community. And I've kind of discovered

I've been, I've been going away from my conservative Orange County bullshit. Let's put everything on credit group of people. Some real like down-to-earth women that don't just say they empower each other, but actually do. They're like a family. They are really tight. Well, I love lesbians. And I'll, I'm going to explain to you all my, I have a lot of really cool. I mean, my closest friends have been lesbians. And I really, and part of me was like, I want to be a lesbian. But then I thought deep, I was like, why am I so, like, obsessed and, like, look up to these women? And I realize, I think since the beginning of time, lesbians have been, like, the people who have broken barriers for a lot of women because they don't, they don't feel controlled by the penis.

Like, they're not scared of what men think. they're not trying they're not changing who they are so that they're likable enough for them like like i feel like so many women in history have been gay and are basically the reason a lot of women have what we have there's like a freedom to like not being obsessed with the dick and it's not needing the male validation yes yes and you're like fuck the patriarchy not literally you know um i'm not going to fucking this misogynistic bullshit that my worth is contingent on a man. Yes. It's so much even now in today's society, who is your husband? What does your husband do? Your position in society is based on who you marry. And so much of make yourself

smaller to make a man feel comfortable. And a lot of amazing women have fallen into that. How long do you think you knew that you were possibly not straight? Oh, well, I've always known I'm not straight. I've always known I was by since I was like a little kid. My girl Barbie's made out. I mean, we all know what Ken looks like and he had no point there. Sometimes he was a fabulous best friend. He did look like a fabulous best friend. I mean, all shaven and gorgeous. Exactly. Like he, I mean, he had his place, but it wasn't with my Barbies. But like I grew up, like I said, in Orange County in the 80s and 90s. And my idea of what a lesbian was was very, you know, masculine, wore flannel, had short hair.

I love makeup. I mean, I love over-the-top frills. I will wear a tutu to dinner. So I didn't think, well, I can't be gay because I want to have a family. I like makeup. So I've always identified as bisexual. Quietly, though, because 25 years ago, that wasn't as socially acceptable. I feel like now for your generation, you guys are much more understanding.

It's like if you're not by, you're lame. Right? I feel like every, my daughters, you know, my daughters at all, her friends, they're all called themselves pansexual now, like they all are. And I think it's great, you know, eventually you're going to decide if you, you know, want dick or eat pussy. There's going to be a fighting factor from. But it's a spectrum and things are not black and white. Yeah. Most people at a certain age, like when you're younger, can you both. At a certain age, most people decide they like one or another. Not all the two. I, you know, and I kind of

wanted a stability of a husband as it does give you that security. If you're gay when you're younger, you don't have that firm foundation. So I liked having the foundation of a husband and the kids. And Sean's cool. I'd be like, let's go make out with a girl. I'm like, okay, cool. I mean, like, so I kind of had it all until I realize that what I, and this is such a thing, but it took me so long to hear.

Everything I ever wanted isn't what I really wanted. You know, I thought I wanted the house, the family. While I love my kids and all of that, what I truly want is just to live authentic. I want to wake up in the morning and have coffee with a woman. That is so beautiful because everyone has that idea in their head of what happiness will be, but sometimes you have to get it to learn like, wait a second, this hasn't fulfilled anything for me. Now, this is a little complex question. Can you describe your love for Sean?

Because I feel like, again, that's not black and white either. And you guys have cultivated such a beautiful life together. How would you describe that love? we've been together 26 years holy shit right like as long as you've been alive we've been and i think that we have both come you know we've both come from families where we wanted our own family we needed our own family so we create your trauma is bonded i mean if you look at my last name it's windenberg that's both of our names together So, and he's Windenberg.

So it was very important for us to create our own family. So here we are. And feminist of you. Yeah. Yeah. So here we are two kids. We're 18. We're children.

We come together with things that need to be filled, parts of us that are broken. You know, we have two very flawed people that found solace in each other. And we love each other. We, you know, we loved each other. Now, at the time, I thought that that passion and that romantic love that you read about, I'm like, oh, that's bullshit. it. But we are compatible. We were best friends. We laughed together. We traveled together. It was easy. You know, and you always say you marry your best friend. I'm like, okay, cool. Now, I always thought I

wasn't a very sexual person that way. I'm like, okay, you know, and that's just who I am. And it was fine. And then you add children. Children check up a lot of time. And then you have, you know, me going in and out about to sobriety. So there wasn't a lot of time to think about anything else, but we are a family until you know we stopped having kids everyone got older we're in a pandemic all these crazy things started happening and it was like let's talk about this but even through all of us sean and i are best friends we are family and he's my fucking family yeah like when i got fired i i drove home i was at the beach with fernanda i drove home i carroll in bed and I'm like, just lay here with me. He slept on, um, he slept in there that night

with me because we don't share a room anymore. I had all the kids in bed with me and I had him. I was like, just don't leave me. Like when the chips are down, he's the person I will always want by my side. And was he always open to film? Yeah. I mean, he didn't love it, but he loved me and wanted to help me with my job. I've supported him at that point 24 years of his career. and he was like sure you know did he like filming no but but you're like so sure because that's that's the hardest part sometimes with a significant other is is they want it for you but getting them also on board and then having the whole storyline of like your sexuality and him it you guys have gone through so fucking much together I'm sure sometimes he's like at a business

meeting and he's like he's never said that to me I don't think he will he's not going to kick me when I'm down. But I, there have been like some times after I came out where friends would call like, you okay? And he's like, yeah. I'm sure he's had some, what the hell that I do? So getting you a little darker, anxiety, depression, do you lean more towards one? Do you love them both? Do you have neither? What's your mental health status like? I mean, I really love my anxiety. I like to pet it and cultivate. Name. My pressure. I love anxiety. I love spirally and I love overthood. You know, like if you can overthink with me, we'll be best friends forever. That's like things that we know are going to happen

but never will happen. Yep. Yeah. And let's pick the worst possible thing that could happen. And have magic conversations people will never see again. Yep. So anxiety is definitely my, you know, home so much um depression i don't normally suffer i am a one-day girl so i get hit a blow i go down i go fast and then i i crawl out of it it's usually about a 24-hour period this one i've been fired for six days now i would say four four days was hard so this one actually took me more than a day. Well, talk about, like, transition. It's like you've transitioned with like your sobriety. You're transitioning with your relationship. And now you're transitioning with your fucking career in a similar place where I'm transitioning out of reality TV. I think at first you

feel like, oh, this was my life. Who am I now? Identity. Yeah. But I also feel like if you, when a door closes, you have no idea like what doors will open. Right now, where is your head at in terms of like, dreams for the future. It's funny because everyone keeps saying to me when one door closes and they're open. I'm like, come up and everyone's in the face again. Just let me. Yes, I know. I know they're like, it happened for a reason.

And I'm like, is it to be sad? Enough with the cliches. Can you just wallow with me that life sucks and everything's over? Like, you know, it's, no, but that's good. You're feeling your feelings. Yeah. It's funny, though, because everyone's like, no, so where do I want to go for here? I mean, I'm not going to lie.

I love being on TV. I loved getting miced up. I loved the crew. I loved having a reason to get dressed up. I love that. I am never going to give up on being on television again. Like, for me, that is so much fun. And I'm lucky enough that I do have Sean,

so I don't have to work to support myself, which is such a blessing. What do I want to do now? You know, I really have enjoyed the amplified voices. I started during the quarantine. It started during the height of Black Lives Matter. we started amplifying the voices of people of color. And then it became, you know, people in the transgender community,

people in the LGBTQ community, just sharing story. Even like sharing your story about what it's like trying to fight the misogyny in a very misogynistic world. Like these are stories that we have to keep telling because right now the narrative we're all being sold is very white, very male. And like, I'm done. I'm dumb. Or like once a woman shows anger or emotion, she's a lunatic.

I mean, do you know that it wasn't that long ago that your husband could have you committed for hysteria? Yeah, I mean, that wasn't that long ago. It's crazy. But I also think like it has to be normalized to see women getting angry and that it's not that she's lost her damn mind. Maybe it's justified. I mean, they glorify when men are angry.

Oh, they're so powerful. They're going to war. But women, when they're angry, you got to. put him in jail. Unhinged or, um, unhinged. Unhinged was a word that people have called me. And it's like, I, you're spiraling. You're this.

I'm like, no, I'm owning my shit right now. And I'm, well, you're verbalizing everything going on in your brain. You know, so I think that. So for me, I'm going to keep doing that. I want to keep doing amplified voices. I want to keep, you know, showing up for the LGBTQ community because I, I do think representation matters. I hate this question, but I'm going to ask it just because.

Do you have any. regrets going on reality TV? I do regret some of the things I've said and done. I have absolutely no regrets about going on reality TV because, like, I would not have met you. I hadn't. You know, I wouldn't have a platform to say. I am the height of your career.

Yeah. The golden moment. You know, like some really cool people because of Bravo. Oh, yeah. I mean, outside of my own show where I think Tamara, Tamara and Megan were really cool, Fernanda. So yeah, I've met people. My cast sucked. And now you have this platform where you actually can, like, you could just go on Instagram Live right now and raise $2,000 for a foundation that you care about. It's like insane. I mean, Kelly said something kind of, you know, rude. And I made into a T-shirt that I sold. And we ended up raising money for P. Flagg, Newport Beach. I mean, like, that's the good part. You know, I'm doing some pride events in my hometown. That's, well, so no, without the reality TV.

I wouldn't have had that. I think that's really cool. How does it feel like having beef with people that you're not going to be able to like settle on camera? I mean, I never could. I was like it was never going to happen. I am, you know, fighting for social justice with some women that were on the other side of history than me, you know, there's right and wrong side. And it was never, there was never going to be resolution. So. So, you know, for me, if you're voting for someone where racism, misogyny aren't deal breakers, then we, I can't, I don't want to. I don't want to try to get along with you. Like, people are always saying it's supposed to be an aspirational show. Housewives is aspirational. My idea of aspirational is not being rich and buying shit. A sports car is not aspirational to me. Being rude is not aspirational, you know, getting one-liners that break someone down. That is not aspirational. In a housewife, cold it is being aspirational is making a change you know giving back showing up you know saying the things when you know like for in my case you're going to lose your job you know you're going to lose your job so

i think i have a very different idea of what aspirational means for me it's not money it is hard though because you lost your job but you kind of brought it last season in every way in like in terms of what a housewife should do like you were vulnerable you were honest about everything so it's it must kind of be difficult to be like what else did you want for me yeah and i do wish we got exit interviews that would like no one ever called me except for um our showrunner and even that was pretty basic it would have been nice to be like i don't get it because i don't you know and then to go through it through the press is um very strange i will say this I am very blessed that I don't read any of it.

Look at you. That is very healthy. Yeah. Very healthy. I'm not on Instagram. I post and that's, you know, that's it. I have some help with social media. I am 100% clocked out of.

So that's how you survive. Yeah. I just live my life. Like my mom's house or in my own home. But like my life, I don't see that stuff that happens online. I don't see it. And that was a personal choice I made. I like it.

I do think there's two different kind of Bravo Labs, the ones who are like you and then the ones who are like deep in the weeds of it. So they like get like more anger by seeing what's being said and then can take it out in real life or the reality show. It's a whole part of the job that people don't talk about, which is navigating the online drama. There's like a class like a master class like maybe Tamara, Vicki and Mimi could teach about what you're actually getting into

because I think you have no clue what's headed your way how you're going to handle it. What was your favorite season to shoot? I mean, last season sucked. It was a pandemic. Not going to lie. It was not great.

I, you know, my first season was nice. I had Tamara. I loved shooting with her. It was a little more fun. Last season was hard. And I think you're seeing this on a lot of the shows right now. There's a lot of social justice. this issue is coming out. It was hard to be the lone liberal and a very conservative cast.

Yeah. That's not fun. That's not fun. You know, I do remember my producer and just saying, I can't film with these women. I need a person. I need a motherfucking person. I got a text chain. I was going to a Black Eyes Matter rally. I kind of told them all I was going. I thought it would be great if we went together. And it's just you're a terrorist. What about your children? And then one of my cast me these racist memes i was like what the no no no no no no no no no and it is hard to film in a friend group where you feel like the black horse or sheep sheep yeah i will never call

it my friend group i remember they're reaching out to me because i kept saying my cast and you're supposed to say your friends i'm like we got to come up with another word because that ain't and housewives is one show where like you have to go on vacation when it's not a pandemic with a bunch of of people you're fighting. That's totally normal in real life. That's so normal. I was really grateful that they let me stay separately when our last past trip. I got my own place because I knew they were all going to be drinking nonstop.

And I was like, hey, I'm sober. I need to have a place to go. But also, you know what? And this is the other thing. I don't know if you did this when you were filming and when it's airing, you kind of start, like it becomes a center of your life. Yeah. Like, and she said this and this.

And Sean and I wouldn't strategize. So the one thing I am looking forward to is being, and Tamara, I talked to her. she's been amazing, is that you get to be present in your life again. Oh, yeah. Like for me, be present with my kids. Like right now, so Sean and I were in the process of buying a home. We're getting our own places. And then when this happened, I'm like, what are we doing? Let's forget all this, put everything in storage and go travel for a while. So like, we're going to take off for like four months with the kids and just like go be present in our life. That's amazing. Well, it's true because you film for a couple months then you're doing interviews and then it airs and you relive it all

in the lens that is shown and then you try not to go online and then in between your miss that life was happening during that real life yeah and I realized like friendships and stuff it just everything else kind of falls to the wayside and I just yeah how do you think you right now are different than like maybe the brown when people experience the last two years on OC I'm they're not even at all remotely similar I think that the way I was portrayed was so not me you know I have a very big heart I love to give back I'm always thinking of others I'm definitely a flawed person I have as we all are yeah but like I acknowledge them and I work on them um there's a lot more to me You know, I'm a mom before anything else.

I'm a friend. I'm a really good friend. And I think the way that I was portrayed was they used words like narcissists. I'm like, that's not true. And you saw the worst sides of me, not good ones. And I really wish you that the scenes my kids had have been cut out. And I wish I wasn't always, yeah. So I think when people meet me in real life, they're like, you're so kind.

I'm like, yeah. Well, I've done housewife. interviews and you're one of the more present housewives who is who listens and like is true and honest and vulnerable so I really really appreciate that um you're definitely very comfortable in hell which we love and we're going to we're going to finish with a final game you're doing great it's called the seven deadly sins What are you greedy about? My ice cream.

I hide it. What flavor? Ginny's buttercake. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Whole Foods have it or you can order it online. Ginny's buttercake.

Swipe up. Who are you envious of? My sister. Why? She's 25, hot as hell. paid makes six figures on TikTok and travels the world and like goes to Bali on a whim oh my god she needs to help you with your TikTok she does really does I'm the bills of her I want to be here when I grow up I love that your sister is a full on influencer what are you

gluttonous about so besides ice cream what do you over indulge in well she's outside by the pool right now. Yes. I love this for you because I love that you thought you were in a sexual person and you were just like, this is me. And now you found a whole different side to yourself. Also, my fiance is sober. And I personally, I was on a partying show and I don't like to drink. And I would get like yell at because I go to sleep early and they'd say I'm not socializing. But like having a sober relationship is what I love like sober sex yes I was actually just talking about that last night because that's obviously the kind of sex I have known but how great it is and how present it is and not a lot of people and it's awkward and it's weird but through that awkwardness

you have this connection of an experience you're not like forgetting the next day yeah I love But I just funny because I go to bed early. I hate noise. I'm actually heading to the Hamptons on the third and I'm staying with friends. And I got, I don't know if I can do it. I would watch Summer House. I'd be like, I would have been in hell trying to sleep when everyone's party. I mean, I seriously would have.

I don't know how you guys did it. And at first I'm like, oh, they're young because you're young, but like, Kyle's not that young. I'm like, you're not all children. No, he's turning 39, but we, like, I remember thinking that looks like my idea of hell. Well, the problem with last. season was we were six week seven weeks together so weekends were great but seven weeks I started losing it yeah I was losing my mind because my pattern is not drinking every night should be like in a tent in the

backyard yeah I was just feeling all my feelings I wasn't drinking a lot I was tired and it it was a lot but also I love that you found someone during this crazy time because even though it's really hard for you it sounds like you're getting closer to who you are authentically and it's nice to be around someone who loves you for you even if like there's people online or on TV who are criticizing you do you feel like you have more confidence in yourself right now absolutely like do you feel sexy oh yeah oh yeah I definitely feels the sexiest I mean I'm 43 sex if I've ever felt I will say that this is the best shape of my life I've ever been in I worked out every day of the quarantine I've been eating right.

I remember you're like angry walks on the treadmill. Oh, yeah, getting sober. I was like a hamster on a wheel, literally. Every time I've been created a drink, I would just be like, and we joke, but my friends and I joke, I was on that thing since my four hours a day. But, but my ass looks amazing. I love that for you so much.

I mean, a good, it's like you're a dog, and sometimes you just have to walk yourself and then you feel better after. When was the last time you let your pride or your ego get in the way of something? This is a tough one. I think right now. I think being fired, there's a lot of ego blow. A lot of my pride, why didn't they pick me?

Why don't they want me? Yeah. I mean, I can't totally verbalize exactly what I mean by that. No, but it definitely is a blow to your ego in that someone felt you weren't good enough or like you didn't. But Housewives is weird because it's not like. a not it's not like keeping score it's um someone in a boardroom deciding and there's this feeling of like why wasn't who will ever want me again will i ever work again what pointed of even trying to do anything everything's pointless now if i can't do this and what what else is there

well do you think you were meant to be a housewife on tv Look at us getting real dark in hell. Well, it's funny. I feel like it was an avenue for you, but I don't know if you were the right fit for it in like the best way, if that makes sense. Like, I don't get, I'm like not part of an ensemble cast. Yeah. You know, like there's a big bowl of vanilla and then I just came in with a bunch of rainbow sprinkles.

Rainbow sprinkles. Wait, what's your sign? It's vegetarius. Okay. So you're fun. You're fun. adventurous. Are you into like L.A. crystals and psychics and stuff? I'm not. I've gone to a few. They either, they're either great or not at all. So when was the last time you lusted over

someone besides your girlfriend? So like, do you have a celebrity crush? I do. Ruby Rose hands down. Oh my gosh. Yes. And her accent. Like Ruby Rose and Kristen Stewart for sure. Oh, Kristen Stewart. I love Chris. and Stewart. What a freaking comedic genius. Okay, Bronwyn, you've done amazing. We've one last question, which I ask everyone at the end of the interview. And that's what advice would you give to people on how to cope with their hell? Like when you're going through it, when you're in the darkness. And it's interesting to ask you right now, because I feel like if I talk to you in a couple months, you're going to be in a completely different headspace. But right now, how do you cope with

your hell? And I'm in it. So if anyone's listening in, they're in it. Like, I'm in it with you. So first I would say You're not alone You've got through hell I'm walking through it right now So one you're not alone We all go through a hard time That would be my first piece of vice

My second one would be It's okay to just sit in it You don't have to be okay today You know You don't have to put on a rosy outlook But everything's great today And it is so cliche But like

And like I said I hate the people have been saying it to me But some of my worst experience where I thought everything was paving in on me. I've turned out to be the best opportunities. And when you're in it, you don't want to hear that. You just want to wallow.

So wallow for a while, but don't get stuck there. Yeah. Like I told Anthony, you know, I worked with my assistant Anthony. I said, okay, I'm going to wallow this weekend and Monday, I'm going to be better. Okay, back to work, you know, like back to Brumming. I kind of gave myself a cutoff date for wallowing. Give yourself some boundaries. Yeah, give yourself time to feel.

I'm excited for you. I'm excited for the future. future. And I'm thankful that you came on the pod. We're so honest and open. I feel like you are affecting a lot of people. Where can people follow you, listen to you, buy your merch? Give me the info. So obviously, Instagram, my name, Bronwyn, Wendembourg. I also have Bronwyn.com where we keep a lot of updates, so everything's on there. I am on Twitter, but very tiny. So, you know, come say hi. But that, honestly, Instagram is the best to get out of me. I've recently started TikTok. I was a stuck addict that I'm 43, but I am trying to learn.

I think you could give some beauty and makeup secrets for sure, because you look great. Bronwyn, you crushed hell. The devil welcomes you to slide down a stripper pole into hell anytime. We love you. And thanks for coming to hell. And I'll talk to you guys later. Bye. Thank you.