Berner Phone - Caitlin Reilly: Problematic People & Loving To Hate

Episode Date: May 13, 2021

Caitlin has soared to TikTok fame with her comedy videos making fun of all the people you hate AKA fitness influencers, WASPY moms, the girl who bullied you in high school, the coworker you hate on zoom, and even the precocious child in a British rom com because kids can be assholes too. She cracks me up and we learn a lot more about what makes her "tik" on this episode in hell.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I saw TikTok the other day where it's like, signs of a toxic friendship. And then one of the signs was gossip. And I'm like, I'm sorry. Every single one of my friendships are felt on gossip. Sorry. Like, what else are we supposed to do? Welcome to Burning Hell. Okay, guys.

Welcome to the scary depths of hell. I'm your host Hannah Burner, and we are with no one other than Caitlin Riley. She's an actress, a comedian, and social media superstar who blew up. I know. I like the, you know, three asses. Social media superstar blew up during quarantine. She is known for her viral TikToks that make fun of problematic people. This includes waspy moms, fitness influencers, the girl who bullied you in high school,

the coworker you hate on Zoom, and even the precocious child in a British rom-com because kids are assholes too. Thank you for coming, Caitlin. Oh my God. Thank you. And thank you for mentioning that TikTok because my numbers are low. I literally posted that this morning and I was like, I hate this video. I hate who I am. This isn't funny. I should delete it. And then I had to get ready to see you. Well, you guys, I've never met Caitlin. I literally. really reached out to hurt people. And I was like, I need this girl on my pod. Something about her. Isn't that so obnoxious that we have people? Like, who do we think we are? Well, like, my people spoke to your people. And apparently it's a real thing. Hey. This is what they do in the industry,

as they say. I mean, you're that you're, I'm a New York girl. You grew up in L.A. Your dad was in the industry. You grew up around it. I did my research. I'm showing off right now. Wow. But, um, quarantine was epic for you. But I want to rewind. Yes. Where we was your mental state before quarantine hit what was your life like who was kately i think it was the lowest it's ever been so shut the fuck out oh yeah so you know i was a struggling actor for a long time and it's so funny because although my dad was an actor although he was on soaps like i did not experience an ounce of nepotism my dad was much older his career has sort of ended and he was retired for a long time so when i graduated high school and was in theater school and then hustling after graduate

like I wasn't I wasn't being like I wasn't experiencing these crazy connections and these crazy opportunities of nepotism like I was doing comedy and it's just it's it's just so funny how the internet reacts to certain things and oh like they're like well this makes sense she went viral on TikTok because her dad was in soaps stop right yeah and it's like no my dad stopped working like 15 years ago and 15 years ago I was like 14 but like Like, it's just weird. But yeah, no, I mean, long story short, like at the time of lockdown, you know, I've been like a struggling actor for years.

No one gave two shits about me. And I was just always so depressed. And I was so poor. I had no money. I was working like two jobs. I was a nanny for a long time. And then I started being a personal assistant to this woman, like, you know, her dogs needed acupuncture and her dry cleaning needed to be picked.

up and you know I needed to get organic turkey slices for the dog like that was my life and yeah and the universe really testing you that like this dog knows it's better than you and you have to serve the dog and I got the wrong turkey slices too the dog was like what the fuck is this you know I do honey baked like how dare I get store bought turkey slices but yeah and I was also living with my mother at the time and that was so much fun. Not. Yeah, and it's just so lockdown happened and, you know, I was working from home, quote,

unquote, for this woman and it just like wasn't working out. And then she had two assistants and we had to go on unemployment and I just, you know, was biving for a second. And I was so, I had actually told myself January of 2020, I said, you know what, I'm actually going to shelf acting for a second. I'm so sick of being poor and sad. I'm going to explore my other passion, which is like interior design and real estate because I do find that really fascinating and worked at this job for two months. The lockdown happened. I was like, well, screw you guys. And then I started posting videos on TikTok and I guess the rest is history. I love that for so many reasons. Because I was going to ask you, at what point are you like, do I love acting that much? Like how many times did it cross your mind to be like, the universe trying to tell me to stop? Like how much torture is one supposed to endure? Because then there's

also people in your head 247 who are like, it's the people who hustle. Like you have to be able to take the rejection. And it's a thin line. Yeah, it's tough. It's, it's, um, it's really tough. I feel like every actor and every comedian, every person in Los Angeles trying to do this. First of all, there's too many of us. Second of all, LA's oversaturated. And, and I, I, I grew, up around it. My dad was a working actor. So you would think, you would think like, oh, she's, she's going to batta bada bada boom, bada boom, bada boom, fine, but that was not my case. And it's weird. It's like it's the only thing that you want to do. It's the only thing that you're good at. I don't have any trade skills. Okay. Like literally, I can do this and I can organize a file cabinet and

like that's fucking it. So like, I didn't go to school. I didn't get a. degree like I fully committed my life trajectory to being an actor which is a one in a million shot chance and a lot of it unfortunately is luck so it just like it starts to mess with you and then you I feel like I've been there but people start to get to places where they'll do like really strange desperate things to like either create this life for themselves where it's like no I'm I'm actually on set for a project that I'm excited for but they're like filming in their friends boyfriend's apartment. A hundred percent, yeah, a hundred percent.

On Instagram, it's like, I feel like people need to, like, really feel like they're doing something. Yeah. So you could live in that fake world to have a couple people believe you, but deep down, you're crying. Yeah. And so you sort of have to get real with yourself. And I was, like, you know, I don't know.

Part of me believes in the hoopla and like, never give up. Right. Yeah. But then the other part of me is like, is this working out? It doesn't feel like it is. Let's get real, you know? So I was definitely at that point, like February. It's very hard.

No, I feel like these entrepreneurs on Instagram, they're like, if you fail, you got to fail fast or like, keep failing and pushing through. And it's like, which one is it? Because I'm very confused. That's really easy to say when you have a BMW parked outside of your house. That your dad bought you. Did you go to a psychic or anything to tell you your future? I have been to so many psychics in my life.

My psychic inside myself was tingling. No, literally. First of all, I've been told by every psychic that I'm an empaths. Same zies. Oh, my God. And they were like, you have powers, but you haven't found them yet. And I'm like, yeah, because I have too much of my own voices fucking with me right now. Once someone told me that, a psychic, they were like, you have abilities.

So I went in a taxi and then I just stared at the guy to try to listen to his thoughts. and then I farted and got a low Uber rating because the place smelled. So that was my story. I'm so sorry about that. What are your psychics telling you? Okay. So that's my dog, sorry. I've gone to many different psychics in my life.

I don't anymore because part of me was like, I feel like I have a problem with it. It was like gambling for me. No, I'm serious. It was a problem. And I pulled a reality bites where I, spent about $800 on California Psychics.com using my mom's credit card.

Shut the fuck up. When I was like 18, yes. So from a young age, you were susceptible to the psychics. From a young age, I was like, what do my guys need to tell me? I'm like obsessed. I thought I was going to find the secret answer.

You're like my dead dog needs to talk to me. Right, totally. Or like, am I going to be famous? yes or no you know with i just didn't i wanted to go through every avenue that didn't include work or time basically so was there any consistency in the messages you were getting from the psychics over the years of what your future was holding i go back and forth with believing it now because i've been told so many wild things where i'm like that never happened but consistently i was told like don't worry you're going to be fine

and that was so it was literally that big right and it was like what do you mean i'm going to be fine if i don't have fine is the worst word ever like fine right one's prayed to be fine but also it's like well for me personally i'm the kind of person where if i don't have a b and c happen in my life i'm not going to be fine right like if i don't achieve this i won't be fine if i don't achieve like i will you know maybe be comfortable have a family be you know day to day fulfilled and happy but if i don't achieve my dreams or what I really want in life. Like, that will, I will not be fine, right? Same. So it's interesting. And everything is a battle. I feel like right now I'm sort of experiencing a level and height of my career that I never thought I would. Like, I never thought. And I don't,

I don't think I'm famous or a star or anything like that. But I'm definitely experiencing. You don't have to dim your light, bitch. You've exploded. And in such a short amount of time. And the psychics could not have known what TikTok was. So that's not their fault because it wasn't invented yet probably. It's not a psychic fault. This is a psychic website or a psychic podcast? Well, no, but I am known to talk about psychics a lot. And I also am, I'm just very obsessed with what people do to cope with their hell.

And, like, psychics have come up a lot. Yeah, I think that has definitely been a thing. I used to do that a lot during breakups. When I go through breakups, I'm sort of like, he's coming back. I just have to wear the right color and I have to pray and I have to put you. Like, I'm insane. I'm an insane person. But what is annoying about some psychics is they're always like, they'll ask you some questions.

And this is also what therapists do probably, that like you always know the answer. Like I'll be like, should I break up with him? And they're like, you know. And I'm like, I know. And they're like, what is your gut telling you? And then eventually you'll say something and they're like, you know. And I'm like, no, but I wanted you to tell me because I don't trust myself. Yeah.

And I've been on my own for a while and it hasn't been going that great. But you go from this, like you love your art. I can just tell from talking to you that like it really is a passionate thing for you. You weren't just like fucking around on TikTok one day and accidentally fell upon a funny video. Like you've studied this. You do this. Did you ever envision yourself being social media famous? No, I actually hate social media.

Oh, I love that for you. Someone's laughing up there. My story is very ironic, but I, like, I would have conversations with my best friend, Sasha, who's also an actress, and she would, we would talk about like, our careers aren't happening. This isn't working. And she's a comedian as well. She's a stand-up comedian. But we would talk and she's like, Caitlin, you just, you got to play the social media game. You got to get those numbers up.

Just post a bunch of videos on Instagram. Just do it. I was like, I refuse. I don't want to do it. I hate it. I hate social media. I'm going to do it the classic route. I'm going to do shows.

I'm going to do that. That's what I'm going to do. And now I have all these crazy social media numbers. And I have done ad videos. And I do get sent PR packages. And I am now technically an influencer. And I am every single day trying to fight against that because I'm not. an influencer. I don't know what I. I actually don't know what I am, but I know what I'm not.

You know what I mean? Well, you are a platform of exposure. I want to know as the numbers have increased, has your happiness increased? Unfortunately, yeah. did you i think you wanted to hear no no no i was open to because i kind of i think of it like the okay i think of it like the lottery where it's like they say when you first hit the lottery you're like really happy and then you realize that like after a certain amount of money it doesn't matter and then you're stuck with like your same self right so So now I have different anxieties and stresses that I didn't have before. Like, oh, I haven't posted a video in 10 days.

I'm not relevant anymore. I'm not funny. Here, let me post a video. Oh, it didn't get a million views in 24 hours. I'm done. Right. Yeah. So it's this great.

And like that's insane, crazy logic that doesn't make sense and sounds crazy out loud. But to me, it's fully real. And I'm like, oh, I'm a meme. I do, I'm not going to have a long career. I literally, like, nobody cares anymore. I, the only people that like me are moms on Facebook that share like minion memes. Like I, like I am not interesting. So it's a whole different thing of anxiety that happens now where it's like, wow, look at all

of this stuff I've achieved and all these opportunities I have now. And I'm like literally doing what I love and making money doing it in a respectable way, of course. But like, I'm fucking pissed off about stuff. Like, what's wrong with you? know, it's, it's, it's weird. Yeah, perspectives, always changing. When you were doing comedy before TikTok, did you tend to go in that role of kind of mocking the problematic person or the waspy woman? Did you like to play kind of that bitch? Yeah. So I always, my characters were always things that I hated. Like, I had, um, I had a show where one of my characters was like,

the guy you dated in college. Like that was like I did like a whole monologue about it. And that's that those are just the characters I've gravitated towards. But also I feel like a lot of other people do that too. I feel like most characters, most, you know, people on Instagram do front facing comedy and characters. It's it's all people that you can't stand. Whether it's a celebrity impression or it's a type of character.

I just feel like people resonated with the Wassamom thing. because Karens are so rampant now. And that is basically me making fun of a Karen, you know? I read somewhere that like your WASP is like a country club Karen, which is somehow worse than a normal Karen. Yeah, I feel like the normal Karen's like going to Walmart and yelling at everybody where the country club Karen is like really upset that you park too close to her Mercedes. But she's trying really hard to be nice about it because she took etiquette classes in college.

like the normal Karen like she's a single mom she has shit to worry about and she's taking it out on the wrong people but country cup Karen the privilege is out of control and you are very good at it granted you're very talented but I also read that you like you've grown up in a world where you've been exposed to that kind of stuff yeah yeah I grew up in L.A so I was around a lot of these crazy personalities I'm the youngest of my family. I'm the youngest of five. And, you know, my parents would always just like, I was always around adults. And so I was also a very shy child. And I would just like sit down and observe these crazy people. My family has a store on this street in L.A. where there's like a bunch of shops and there's a little community and stuff on Larchmont. And I mean,

I grew up on Larchmont. So it's a lot of crazy insufferable. people in that part of town so you know i mean that's like where the the inspiration comes from for sure it's funny because i feel like a lot of my comedy i talk about things like definitely stuff i hate with dating but also stuff i hate about myself why do you think that you have gotten so good at like what you hate about other people and when are you going to hit on this stuff or is there is stuff that you hate about yourself too that you think's coming through there's stuff i hate about myself that I've made into videos like the video of the girl who's trying to justify her tattoo that is me I love that I love that so much yeah because it's like it's so good yeah or the video of the girl

taking notes and acting class that is me yeah 100% like so many of those videos are me the girl who is talking about losing her virginity for the first time in like class that was me like 100 like I'm the I'm insufferable or used to be or what. Your self, well, well, also used to be. It's funny because it's like, you're still the same girl before you were famous who, like, is fucking annoyed at herself. I don't think I'm famous. Okay. I haven't been cast in anything.

Shit, I'm still waiting. Okay. Well, we do have to say, congratulations. You are going to be in an episode of General Hospital, which is. Yes, I am. Very fun. It's a tribute to your dad. And it's, I mean, big screen moment.

We love that for you. It's very off the brand. But you know what? Your brand is always evolving. I love how I'm your manager now. I know. It's so funny. Like, I mean, my dad had such a wild sense of humor.

But when I first got the news that they wanted to have me involved, I didn't know how much my involvement was going to be. Yeah. But of course, I mean, it's for my dad. That's like my main focus. But my very first thought was, oh, my God, does this go against me brand? Like, I'm such an asshole. Yeah, like, it's not on brand for me to, like, want to do a tribute for my dad.

Like, I love him. It should be so, like, I just, like, don't know. No, but it was so much fun. And, I mean, also, like, we haven't been able to have a memorial yet because of COVID. And, you know, 80% of my family is in Chicago. And obviously, they want to be there. So, yeah, like, like, basically filming all. that that episode all day was very much like a memorial for me i don't i mean i'm not i don't know i think

i can say some things but basically it's like the episode was memorial to his character yes and i play his daughter and it was very uh close to home and it was really intense and weird and it but also nice at the same time it was really weird but also i had to like act the whole time like I like had tons of lines and like had to like be like do this character and yeah because you're probably having all these like really deep emotional feelings hell yeah also being like I need to show them I'm a good actor right so it's like okay this is technically professional job like I am an actor I like I am here I can't fuck this up but also like my dad died it was weird it was really weird but it was it was a good it's so personal but you're also doing your

job, which is like your business, and it's not about your personal life, but it's all kind of meta in this moment. There's been so much sadness with COVID and with all the darkness and stuff. Do you think that your videos have been therapeutic to you at all? Oh, for sure. Yeah, because I feel like I finally was, I was brave enough to create an outlet for myself. Because before COVID and everything, I didn't, I did some videos, but not really. I was just like really afraid of being judged. And I started doing TikTok. I was like, no one I know is on there. No one's going to see this, right? That's why I started making videos because I was like, no one's going to see these. You're like my friends are over 18. Yeah. Or like everyone I know is on Instagram. No one's on

TikTok. I'm just going to be over here workshopping things. I don't care. Right. And for a while, I was so mad that I wasn't getting like views like you know when you first start out on TikTok and it's you know no one cares yet but yeah no it's definitely been incredibly therapeutic for me I I cannot believe this happened in the way it happened to me at the time it happened like I owe the pandemic for my success which is really weird but at the same time that doesn't change what's happened to everyone like what's happened to my family me like we're all fully traumatized we all lost out on a lot of things and also i mean my dad died during this time you know like we when we said goodbye to him we had to wear a hazmat suit he didn't have

covid but it's you know it was the times and precaution and just like no one has spent time together for a year it's it's so crazy so yeah i mean i've had my i had a meltdown last night fully had a fucking meltdown because i'm just like so much has happened yeah you know and it's also you're going through like these highs these lows and then suddenly you use this word where like people care and it's funny because i've experienced that we're like i've been doing podcasts for like four years and like suddenly people are like caring what i'm saying on them right it's like a double edge sword when it's like people people care about you when you're still the same person you were four years ago i mean you've evolved a little but yeah what's interesting i i don't want to name

drop but the reason i'm name dropping is because i think she's really really smart and interesting i had a conversation with rachel bloom a few weeks ago i'm obsessed with her yeah she's just i just like she and i were just like gabin um no i was i was i was she's such a talent like she's incredible she's incredible but anyway so we were talking about all of this stuff and she was like she's like i think people have more anxiety with success and attention than they do with failure because failure is comfortable but success and attention is change and change is really uncomfortable which i thought was super interesting you're blowing my fucking mind but it reminds me of like the nelson mandela quote where it's like a lot of people are scared of their light

like shining so it's like once your light starts to shine like you said brave because brave means like if you're going to put yourself out there obviously people can think you suck but then you also could like reach your potential and that's fucking scary too oh yeah no i i mean i i i've had meetings with people i've had opportunities uh presented to me i have auditioned for things where i'm like have like full flop sweat panic attack and my first thought is no i don't no no thank you you like I can't handle it physically emotionally I feel like I'm going to throw up it's this fear thing but it's like wait a second like if I was talking to me five years ago like where do I want to be you know what I mean like when is the time to finally like accept it and be like yes I can

do this yes I want this I'm open yeah you know especially when you spend especially as an actor so much of your life talking about the dream that sometimes like you lose touch with the reality of like what it actually is and what it means to be like a working actor and like people wanting your work and but also it's very up and down too i mean there is a lot of just like steady work involved it's not you know i don't believe the whole you know you strike gold somewhere in your career and then all of a sudden you're set like i'm not set like they're no like i don't like i could be we don't have to go there we don't have to go to dark place it's like for me at least the way I approach it is like, no, I need to do work every day. I'm not said. I haven't booked anything

huge other than what I've created for myself. Like things could change on a dime. Who knows? I can get canceled. I hope not. I don't think so well. Well, it's funny that you're like navigating the talking about the problematic people, kind of like raising awareness on it. But you're also like in that space of people loving talking about the problematic things which is like gives me anxiety it's it's weirdly cathartic it's like I feel like there's kind of facing it head on yeah there's like a weird catharsis and collectively complaining about shitty people you know yeah like how friends bond being like isn't this person the fucking worse and you're like oh my god no one talks about it and then it's like right it's

call me a really uh negative person I thought I saw TikTok the other day where it's like signs of a toxic friendship and then one of the signs was gossip and I'm like I'm sorry every single one of my friendships are felt on gossip sorry like what else are we supposed to do come on a whole friendship with these two girls who are we're obsessed with this food blogger who puts zero effort into their shit like they just take the photo and throw it on the stuff looks disgusting the light they don't give a fuck but like it's like popular and every now and then we just posted and we're like what does this food look like and it's created this beautiful friendship that i i'm it's benefited me in so many ways and brought me so much joy i'm all about it because i just feel like we live in a

society where people are constantly acting a fool and if you don't it for me if i like can't comment on that i will lose my mind like i have like it's like i'll literally be in bed at one o'clock in the morning like not being able to sleep on TikTok commenting on strangers TikTok videos like you're an idiot like I'm like such a loser so my question is how what's your brainstorming like what's your creativity to like I'm I tweet I've been tweeting for years and like Twitter it's well yeah I don't go on Twitter I literally go on write my shit and run I'm like I never like to force one I come up with funny tweets a lot of time I'll come up with one and then I'll go on a binge and I'll have like a bunch and I won't go near it for two weeks. It's hard to continually

come up with, you know, the funniest shit. What is your creative process right now? Because you've done a shit ton of videos. What keeps you going? It's weird. For the last month I've been really, really busy and preoccupied with just life stuff. Like career stuff. I mean, you know, I'm thankfully busier than usual. So I don't have as much time to do like two videos a week but then part of me is like I can't stop doing the videos and I like doing the videos and that's what makes me gets my creative juices flowing but then if I stop the video it's this constant anxiety of like you know it's sometimes I run into dry patches where I'm like man I can't think of anything and I also don't want to put something out there that I've

already done or it's like yeah okay yeah yeah do you ever want to get off the like kind of pattern you have of doing those specific videos like you're ever afraid to post on TikTok a different type of thing? No. I feel like I try I want to change up character sometimes. I'm like I feel like I've done like the annoying girl a lot. Like I want to do something else. Or like I feel like I've done the boyfriend before. Like like what else could I do? Let's try and brainstorm different people. Right. Yeah. But like I will never. The one thing that is so fascinating to me, And I have to articulate this somehow in like a video, but it's people that go viral or become famous on social media for one specific thing, right, whether it's comedy, whether it's a reality

show, whether it's something. And they get the numbers. They get this huge platform. It's happening. They get the blue check mark. And then all of the sudden, they become a life coach. Like all of sudden they are preaching to me they have written a book they are telling me how to live my life they are showing me what their breakfast looks like in the morning bitch i didn't ask like all well what happens is what you're talking about what is that brands start sending you shit you become an influencer people start asking you like first they're like wait what do you put on your face i remember when this started happening to me and i was like set a phil like i don't know And then someone's like, oh, my God, like, I love that shirt.

The next thing, you know, it could get to your head and you're like, oh, I'm a fashionista when it's like, no one needs that information from you. Right. Stay in your lane. And then people are like, I make jokes, dick jokes. And people are like, Hannah, like I'm having trouble in the bedroom. And next thing, you know, you can let yourself go there. And, and, you know, next thing you know, you're giving sex advice. That is hilarious.

So it's, I can see how people get there. This is making me laugh. because when you did your YouTuber giving an apology, I mean, in the first, your videos are so good because in the first two seconds, you nail it. Like, it's not just you being an actress, but as someone I used to produce videos for betches

where I would do like their 30-minute videos. And it was all about like within the first four seconds, you have to grab them with something that's pretty funny, but obviously not the button of the joke. And then like have enough of a twist at the end that like they don't, they don't end it being like well i wasted the last 30 seconds right and you're you've really like your writing is really great and that was just me complimenting you um through the darkness of this pod i feel like this pot isn't dark enough let's would you want me to what do you oh i'll get there

i love this i'll get there don't worry what's your biggest physical insecurity everything oh my god shut up what are you talking about I think I gained a little, a little cushion in, in a quarantine. You know, I was in Texas with my boyfriend for a minute and it was just like, tacos, sure, not moving. Great. Yeah, I don't move anymore. I don't walk around.

Mexican every day became socially acceptable. Yeah. And also just like sweatpants, like just clothes that stretch, you know, I feel like a little insecure about parts of my body that I've never felt insecure about. So that's weird. But yeah, I think. generally the thing I am most insecure about right now generally is my teeth and my thighs. Why are you insecure about your teeth? Because I feel like I have big teeth. They have gotten a little

more crooked now since I got my braces 27,000 years ago. Same. And there have been a couple comments on the internet where it's like, wow, her entire personality is her teeth. well that's your next video someone who thinks their white teeth or their personality yeah i love that um it's funny i asked you that because i knew you're gonna i knew you're gonna say that especially in like the reality tv world the amount of people who have their first season and then they come back looking like a whole different person because right you're it's not like yeah like you're filmed in so many angles that like you are not in control of because they're not like actual scenes so how does that work how does that like are summer house we have hidden cameras

So we've hitting cameras and normal cameras. Okay. So I have not, I know who you are, obviously. But I have not. I have seen maybe like one episode of Summerhouse. So I don't know much of Summerhouse. I thought it was like Southern Charm. Same network.

And we love Southern Charm. Ours is like that, but like we live together and we are way less Southern and charming. But so is the premise like, do you guys know each of their before? Yeah, so the premise is a bunch of New Yorkers who like work really hard during the week and then go to the Hamptons on the weekend to have fun in the summer. However, during the pandemic, we couldn't work and I had started my stand-up tour for the first time. And I was three shows into it. I was in, I did Dynasty typewriter in L.A. I did Cobbs Comedy Club in San Francisco on March 9th. And shit hit the fan. I finally,

So then we were stuck in a house for six weeks. I was just, like, podcasting from my bed the whole time. And it was a fucking nightmare. But anyway, so the show has been an interesting experience in terms of, like, people being able to judge you in a whole different life. I literally, that is what I'm doing for the rest of the day and watching Summer House. Start on season three. Okay, I'm going to start on season three. Yeah, I recommend.

I'm so excited. I want to be on Summer House. Literally, one of my life goals is to either be a job. judge on RuPaul's drag race or to be like somehow quickly featured in an episode of a reality show that I love. I could possibly like I get the name tag like Caitlin chef's friend or like that's my dream. If you like Southern Charm, you'll love you'll love Summerhouse. I love Southern Charm. Okay, awesome. Um, and we love the Southern Charm boys. Um, also how is your love life? Because it sounds like you have a boy toy. What's going on there? I have a boyfriend.

Yeah. We just moved in together. Congratulations. Thank you so much. He has not left yet, but I did have a meltdown last night, so he might. Does that suck when you have your own career meltdowns that the guy normally wouldn't see? I mean, I don't know what it was about, but like my own life, if I wasn't living with him, he wouldn't see. But then he does have to see. And I'm like, no, this is, that wasn't meant for you. I have my own meltdowns for you. Yeah, it's weird. It's like my meltdown was like half light. half grieving, half career, half the stress of the last month. Like, it was like everything. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I, instead of, instead of, you know, dealing with my feelings, I just decided to pick a fight.

Oh, my God. So he's going to hate that I said this on a podcast. cast. No, it's hilarious. Yeah, no, she's saying that you're an angel and she's the devil and she needed to lash out. I totally get it. Also, side note from before, I'm on Invisaline because I had the same experience where my- Are you saying that because you think my teeth are crooked? Not at all because my teeth are not crooked. I had like a little bit of an overbite and my bottom teeth started to shift and I was like during quarantine. Yeah, I have that here. Yeah, your teeth are beautiful, fine. But like, your head if you're like, oh, I want something, but I don't want to do braces. I love myself

some invisible line. I'm almost done. It doesn't hurt. I take it off for like podcasts. But anyway, here we are on this journey. So how has your relationship changed since you've gotten all this social media action? Like, are you on your phone way more? Like, what's going on? Because you have a different life experience now with this new platform. Yeah. So I mean, he's super, super crazy supportive. Um, and. you know like when I love that for him I know what a journey but when I was really struggling and trying to like make things work like he was paying for my acting classes and like my improv classes because I could not afford them so he's like crazy fucking supportive um and was

always just like you're great um so he's believed in you yes since day one but also so I guess now like I'm definitely on my phone a lot, and that's probably super annoying. And he's like, you're on your phone a lot. I'm like, yeah, I know. But it's like, it's kind of my job now in a way. Like I'm just, I'm constantly looking at things or looking at numbers. I try not to because that's not part of it. That's not what this is.

That's not what the focus should be. But it happens sometimes when I'm feeling like insecure where I'm like, ooh, I don't think this video is funny. And I feel like the numbers are low. well you also want to be like um strategic in a way to be like okay well this hit better this did better um but also not let it like directly affect your mood in a way like detach yeah but also like he always tells me like don't think about the numbers just think about what you want to do that you think is funny which is he's so right he's so fucking right like if it made you laugh you're

sticking to your right and like comedy and art and performance isn't fucking numbers like so why am I going to worry about that? I like him. He's wise. I also, I have this new therapist I've been talking to. Thank you. It was hard to find. I desperately need to get a therapist, not because I'm crazy, but because I just want someone to let me. No, no, no, everyone needs to have a therapist. I have a bad, I have a bad habit of like when things are going well, I'm like, bitch, we're good. Like, I don't need you. And then I wait till things are like really low and dark. And then I'm like, ah, and they're like, we can't cover this in an hour. Right. Real quick, I do think,

I feel so annoying because, you know, when you're in comedy and people are like, you should make that a bit. But as we're just talking naturally, I love that whenever, it's like the girl who says she's listening to the conversation, but she's on her phone. Like when she's like, oh, no, yeah, I'm totally listening. Yeah. Yeah. No, obviously. And says that she's not on her phone. Like, she's like, I've been on a cleanse of my phone.

Like, I've literally, yeah, I'm not. I'm not. I'm checking something really quick and just nonstop. And then the girl who starts the fight with her boyfriend, pretend that he started it. Yeah, so basically me. Oh my God. Okay, so we are going to wrap this up with one final game. Okay, I love games.

Yeah, this is going to be fun. There's no winning or losing. So this is just a journey we're going to go on. It's called The Seven Deadly Sins. Seven Deadly Sins. What are you greedy about? I want to say something, like, bad. Do it.

Praise. That's not bad at all. I've heard so much worse. Like if I, if it's like about my art or my comedy and someone's complimenting me, I'm like, I could hear more if you have any more details about my, how much you like to. You know, some people are really uncomfortable because people are so uncomfortable with compliments. So that's, I am, but I, but I think it's because I need to hear more to finally have

it set in. Yeah, girl who pretend she hates. compliments but really wants more that's no but it's like like so for example like if i did an improv show that i thought i was shitty in and my boyfriend goes you're really funny and like okay but like how was i funny and where like what parts were the funniest because i don't like i kind of feel like i need it to be fully dissected and guys are so bad at that they don't do any details it's like when my friend goes on a date they tell me every little thing and every like every nuance and then a guy's like yeah it's fun I mean, like, this is cool.

Yeah. She was not. I mean, she was hot for sure. She was hot. Yeah. She was cool. We talked. She's in Orange County.

It was like good chat. Like there was like, like, we left. We left a lot. That does not bring me any joy. I want to know the fucking details and I want to know all the shit talking. Who are you envious of? Oh, oh my God. Jesus Christ.

I am envious. I'm envious of anyone who doesn't worry about the future because I constantly worry about the future, whether it's for me, for the world, for the people I love, like, I'm a worrier and I'm trying really hard not to be. Yeah, and I do think that no matter how successful or how much money you have or how happy you are, you can always worry about the future. And that's why happiness is not based on those materialistic things. Exactly.

And that is why I am writing a life coach book now because I did three seasons of reality TV. Are you really? No. I was about to say like, yes. You know in L.A., who knows? But I do have to say what I've manifested for you is you are going to have a sketch show. You are. You are.

Apparently, sketches are really hard sell these days, they tell me. Oh, my God. like that's okay whatever honestly if it was like hey you're going to be on the new barney reboot and you're just going to do the animatronic physical action of barney but in a suit i'd be like fine am i working cool but there must be like a sense of control now that your life is not just based on a bunch of people um who aren't even raising their head up when you're in an audition? I mean, yes and no.

There's still work involved. I'm still, I'm still auditioning and getting rejected. I'm still, you know, feeling like, oh, I'm out of my element. I'm still very much, like, that's why I tell people, like, a lot of this is internet numbers. I mean, and I know it technically means something. I'm at this place that I'm at now with this platform, but like, I'm still. it's still a hustle for sure it's just a different kind of hustle I would say you know what I mean yeah 100% and it is important also to remember how the internet is different especially when the

internet gets dark on you that like that also is not reality yeah it's like and also it's like don't just just because you have a blue checkmark next year name doesn't mean you to stop working at what oh a bazillion a bazillion percent my my therapist also told me how like it is really kind of like a drug of like the high of checking and seeing a video blow up and then it's a drug and it's like and then the low is also a drug to be like okay when's the next high so it's yeah like your boyfriend is quite wise to be like you can't let your happiness be based on numbers because that is so out of your control but you can control enjoying the work you do yeah it's a crazy thing to have affect you and I was going through that for a minute like I like it would almost ruin my day

if I was like, oh, I feel like a video isn't hitting right now. Like, oh, my God, that's crazy. That's crazy, you know? That's when you go, fucking TikTok algorithm. Just blame the algorithm. I know, like, whenever someone has a video that just isn't funny, you're like, the algorithm's crazy. It's like, no, it's just not funny, Michelle.

And I sometimes just need to tell myself that. Like, Caitlin, it just wasn't that funny. No one really cares right now. It wasn't funny, girl. It's okay. It's all good. Move on. it's the like it's it's it's so the algorithm the algorithm it does not exist it's like also the algorithm

pushes some fucking non funny shit too so it's like don't the algorithm does not like coming for anyone specific everyone calm down um the algorithm does what it wants yeah what do you gluttonous about so what do you overindulge in um hmm probably nicotine i vague yeah i have this guy right here So I do it when I'm stressed or when I'm anxious, which is a lot. So it's definitely something I want to quit. I hate feeling tethered to something and I'm definitely tethered to that. Yeah. For sure.

And I hate it. And I feel like a lot of people during quarantine discovered the vape. Yeah. It's not weed. It's just it's no. Yeah. It's nicotine. I've never touched it because I don't trust myself.

like I'm just like I won't I can't go there yeah I have an addictive personality but thankfully I'm terrified of drugs so I just get addicted with other things like movies or like nicotine or like I love raspberries now like and all obsessively you know yeah it's like I joke about like yeah like BDSM for example like I've never tried it because if I don't if I don't like it's like a horrible night and then if you do like it like you have to build a dungeon in your apartment it depends on how you do be it DSM though right you know what are there's different levels there's different levels so like you don't but it's like I'm I would be fully addictive to things like even like it's like it looks like fun but it does look like it looks scary fun I joked my cat would probably love it in the apartment because of like the wips and stuff she could play with it but it's like cocaine like if I if I have a bad night it will be horrible but if I have a good night on cocaine like then I like cocaine like that's it's tough yeah I don't I can never cocaine. Like we, we have similar energy. No, I would be bashing my head in walls all the time. Yeah. When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or anger?

Ooh. Oh. Hmm. Let's see. I think when I saw that there was a wrestling match of YouTubers against TikTokers. And Bryce Hall was fighting. some guy named Austin McBroom all of these fucking dudes I there is the level of of rage I feel like go to Bryce

Bryce Hall B-R-Y-C-E-H-A-L go to his TikTok or Instagram and you tell me that isn't the worst human being on the planet like I've been I've been I've been there I've tried to like I've talked to people about it

I've tried to detach from the anger I did one of those jokes a lot of people are doing where like the boy These are just like the dushy kids that like when you were a 13 year old girl, you like thought were cool for some reason because you were confused. You know what's so crazy and funny. So I grew up in L.A., right? And so all of these TikTok stars, all these kids that like dance and like show their dicks. It's so weird. They've all come to L.A. They all drive Tesla's. And do you know where the hot spot in L.A. is now? Where? Saddle Ranch. Why? I don't know. But they all decided to start congregate there? Yes. of all spots in L.A. It is the grossest

she's spot. I don't get it. I don't trust them at all. And I have a theory that like all their dance moves are them like communicating with each other that we don't understand because they're not good.

No, it's like Morse code. It's like some weird Gen Z Morse code. I don't know what's like. Yes. And then they like they like get together with the biggest TikTokers and put them in like houses and stuff. And like that's how like Q&on gets started. Like we need to like be right? We should be scared.

Yeah. And like they're not like nice people. I'm terrified. I here's have you ever walked past a group of teenagers? Scary. Scary. Yeah. Terrifying. But I did one of those stupid videos where like the guys like they like do a little dance. They like smirk. And I like did the side thing where I'm like, yeah, cool. And literally people watching didn't even understand the joke that I was being sarcastic. And then I got even more mad about it. People were like, wait, I don't get it. Like, why are they good and i'm like people on the internet are really stupid so but we say that but then i'm on the internet me too girl so i don't know what that tells you um yeah so bryce also his name is bryce if your name is bryce it says a lot about you it's just these names that pop up like

tanner bryce yeah uh j not a real name what happened to joe yeah whatever happened to michael A Michael wouldn't hurt Addison Wray. James. Robert. William. William. Benjamin. These are wholesome men.

Right. Just kidding. There's never been any wholesome men. When was the last time you were a sloth or like a lazy piece of shit? I'm probably like every day. But I think it's weird. Like this last month has been tough for me. I've been super sloppy because I've been moving.

My boyfriend came out here. I've been busy with other things. and I just haven't like I would do the routine of like I get up I shower I get ready I do a video or I do something else and I have these like bullet points that I try to hit every day and the last month I have not done that at all I've sort of hit a little bit of a wall so definitely like all of April yeah was was a and it's hard because when you feel slothy the way to get out of it they're like go for a walk and it's like doing anything is not yeah from from here to getting up to to putting on shoes, to getting the mask, to being outside.

Like, that's a lot. I mean, finding my mask is a three-hour thing in general. Yeah. Right. It's a lot. And then when they said you have to wear another mask, I was like, well, there's no chance. I'm going to be able to find two masks at once. When was the last time you let your pride or your ego get in the way of something?

This is a tough one. Probably every time I worry about numbers. Yeah. I feel like, because that's my pride. That's my ego. That's my like, oh, they don't like me. And then that cannot be your focus, especially with. comedy or performing because that it's like everything's relative so yeah i feel i used to do that

quite a bit i'm trying really hard not to now um because i feel like it takes away from my love of it but uh but yeah every single time i get discouraged by internet numbers i feel like i'm buying in really hard to my ego and then i immediately try to like shut it off that's awesome it's stupid it's really dumb. The anti-social media star. I'm just thinking of titles. The girl who's famous on Instagram, but like doesn't want to be. It's like too cool for Instagram. I don't get a fuck. Okay. Okay, final one. When was the last time you lusted over someone besides your boyfriend? Like, do you have a celebrity crush? Adam Driver. Oh, yes. Adam Driver. didn't even think twice i have had in that okay i can i tell you about can i tell you about the

dream i had about adam yes i had a dream about adam driver months ago literally last year that i still think about so i had a dream that i was in some movie i was acting in a movie alongside adam driver we were in a scene together and we were sitting in a car and they were shooting the scene in the car. So I was like, camera here, camera here. It's like the whole, you know, car or a movie set up thing. And in the scene, we have to kiss. It's like fan fiction. We have to kiss. And then they yell cut. But in the reality of my dream, we were having a secret affair. And so he leans over to me and he goes, he goes, do you know how hard it was to stop kissing you when they said cut and then i woke up and that was it and i've been living off of that

for a minute as i slapped my own did you watch um him on girls yes yeah and so funny because everyone's like who is this guy with this like incredible stage presence and you can't keep your eyes off of yeah i think i've watched marriage story like four times yeah and now he's just kind of he's made ugly hot the that's my bread and butter that's that's my bread and butter i mean i don't want a guy who's prettier than me no i don't find that attractive at all like i don't i mean how many guys in l.a yeah i mean i can't imagine the amount of models in l.a who were like too pretty yeah um we're like no thanks guys i don't want the attention actually this is the final final boss of hell we have one more question you're you're doing incredible what

do you do at the end of the day to cope with your hell? Like when you're in a dark place, what advice would you give on getting through it? Um, well, for me right now, it's tough because I'm grieving, you know? So it's like, like my meltdown last night, like I shut off my grief for a month. I hadn't cried. I hadn't done anything. And then yesterday I just like completely short-circuited. Yeah. And I think the thing that helps me in those moments, moments where like I don't like feel embarrassed by my meltdown or like ashamed like oh god I like don't have a handle on myself is like it's okay to feel yeah and I that's kind of my mantra because for me personally I I feel really guilty with my own feelings whether I need to cry or I'm

angry or I'm sad or I'm frustrated or you know I then if I have a meltdown or I have an outburst or I sort of crumble a little bit. I spend the next amount of time, like, feeling guilty for that. Yeah. I'm trying to figure out how to let myself, like, let yourself feel. It's okay to feel. Yeah. Don't let yourself feel.

And that's where the anxiety comes in. And then you physically feel bad. And then it's the stress. And then it's the like your brain not computing. And then all of a sudden you're like at a loss and you don't know where you are, you know. I once heard it was someone. on this pod and I forget, but they were like, 50% of your life, you might be happy, but then 50% of your life, you're going to have other emotions. And like, once you accept that, that's the

human existence, then like when you're upset about something, you're not going to be like, oh, no, and this is me failing or like, this is me being bad. It's like, this is the human existence. And yeah, you're so right. When you don't let it out, it just grows into this, like, bigger thing inside you. Yeah, no, sometimes you just like need to cry or yell or just be in a bad mood or like, no, I'm not going to do anything today. Yeah. And that's, and that's, you know, and that's okay well katelyn i feel like i'm talking to you at such an exciting like beginning of this journey as you've basically said okay fuck it i'll get into this social media bullshit and i'm happy that it's brought you some happiness and some excitement and that we've been able to enjoy you more and you've given

yourself exposure just to make more people laugh so where can people follow you where can people watch you give me the goods um you can follow me on instagram at hi kately riley my name is spelled c a i t l i n r e i l-l-y-l-y my name is so easy to misspell and i hate it um but it's spelled correctly so um and then tic-tok is it's katelyn hello and then uh don't find me on twitter because i'm not funny on there um but i think i think my twitter handles hi kately and riley as well Amazing. Well, thank you so much for coming to hell today, guys, and we will talk to you later. Bye.