Berner Phone - Coco Vandeweghe: Chasing Greatness & Breaking Racquets

Episode Date: March 5, 2022

IT'S A HARDCORE TENNIS EPISODE with former top 10 in the world tennis player, Coco Vandeweghe. I remind her about a dramatic match we played in the juniors and then we go deep into her psyche as to what makes a champion.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've destroyed a bathroom. Like I took the door and I just like rammed it and it broke the lock and some girl was just in the locker room like, are you okay? And I'm like, obviously not. See, by the way, guys, we're all fine. You should put your kids into tennis. It's a great outlet for any sort of like emotional trauma. Welcome to Burning Avenue. what's up guys welcome to hell i'm hannah burner and we're in tennis hell with i don't know how i got this

guest she's one of the greatest tennis players in the fucking world on the planet in the universe in the stratosphere she's won the junior u.s open she's won the u.s open in doubles clearly she just rocks out in new york um she's a california gal and she's on the pot it's cocoa vandaway Well, we know how I got on this podcast as I was just sliding in the DMs like crazy, trying to get noticed and recognized by Hannah, and she was leaving me on red, leaving me ghosted, and finally she just caved and let me become part of the Burning and Hell squad. I am so happy that you're on because do you know that you've known me for a while? Yes, so Nina's the one that told me about this. She showed me the article back in the day when I forget what. newspaper it was in or a magazine or something and she's like this girl's claiming she played you do you remember this and i'm like i have to honestly say back in the day what was it tens or

12s i can't remember this in my life you know those matches that you remember vividly and you like wish you didn't of course so i have like a vivid memory of playing you and my fiance and i love watching tennis now even though it's like past my active tennis days but we watch all the tennis channel we love the smaller tournaments we like get in and he's he's very into cocoa he's very like how's coco doing what's she up to how's cogo serve whatever so i explained to him how i know all the girls because i'll be like oh you know on the easter bowl you know we both you know got water together i don't know anyway so we played in the 14 and unders and you were like a decently high seed and i think it was a

at Super Nationals, and I was like a scrappy, annoying player. I was your worst nightmare back in the day. Like, you definitely were like, and not in a good mood. She woke up wrong side of the bed that day. And I got up five, too. And, but you were kind of giving it to me. Like, I wasn't like playing spectacular. And I was like tanking yourself and just like, you were full on, actually you were

full on tanking. And I was like, this is great. I just need everything to keep going this way. I'm like, I hate this girl so much. I don't know one thing about her. We literally walk on court, walk eyes, and I know I just hate her guts, and we haven't even hit one ball across the net to each other. But I hate her.

So that's the end of the story. As in tennis, there's like, like, Coco is a huge power player where I was more defensive. Like, you would have called me a pusher back in the day, and I would have been like, and I did she call me a pusher. And it was Clay. Oh, no. You were not happy. Yeah.

You were in a bad mood. and I remember thinking like if if she keeps this up I'm going to win this match and it was the first round and at five two you broke your racket like smashed it to the point that the ref from like three courts down ran over and was like bitch you that's a point penalty your racket's done for life and something came over you and you like calmed the fuck down after the point penalty and then I'm pretty sure you won almost every game after that so you went I had my vision I had my John Macro moment of like you cannot be serious

and just like broke stuff and like by the way anyone who wants to go on YouTube and Google my name like you'll find racket break compilations all over the show and like me talking a rat so like if you want to be entertained

in that way and like figure out what I was like 12 years ago 15 years ago as a little kid doing the same thing like now I'm still doing it as an adult But I was super excited to have you on. Not that all athletes are boring because they're not, but I know

you have a funny personality. I've seen your post-match interviews and I personally was very bad at being like straight edge and I would always say stupid shit even in my like college interviews so I were always related to you. I was like, oh she's trying to make their reporter laugh. Good for her. But

the point of the story is my dad after was like, what the fuck was that? Like you had her. Like what happened? And I was like, dad, that girl like really fucking good I remember like not that he basically was like you you could have won that but I remember being like dad something weird happened and like that girl is really talented your dad was your coach back in the day yeah yeah my mom was too so I get it like it's the kind of thing where like they have like coaches coaching you but like he's taking you to all the matches

coaching you um an emotional assault the next day you played like the top girl in the east who was ranked higher than me and she was really good and you smoked her oh and oh and I went up to my dad and I go told you she was really fucking good so that is my memory. That like West Coast or East Coast is like huge rivalry and like California kids are like

a different level of like play and like we love to speak to these like New Yorkers that actually thought they could play when it's like you guys get snow and play indoors. I don't know what you think about like currently I'm in San Diego in like a winter coat and it's 60 almost 70 degrees

I mean like well yeah outdoor tennis is a whole different game I remember like I'd get annoyed at the birds I'd get annoyed at like a leaf I'd get a note I hated wind I would have like full mental breakdowns where I'd start tossing it like two inches and just like hit a forehand and I would get so mad but um I I grew up playing with like Christian and Christina McHale um and like that group but anyway I'm so happy to have you on because I need to break you down you are at a very interesting point in your career because you've kind of checked off so many boxes you've played serena williams you've played with martina hingus you're like you've done so many things what is your mindset right now i mean like i just turned 30 so i'm old me too congrats thank you too we made it but like i'm old in tennis and um so like i mean whatever that means so serena's still playing and she's darn near 40 And so is Venus and stuff like that. But I've been going through a lot of injuries in the last, like, two, three years. I mean, that's a long story.

But I've had two severe injuries, one in my foot and then the other one in my pinky, as you can see. I mean, there's no video in podcasting, but it's crooked as heck. And during COVID, I took a cereal bowl out of the microwave heating up some soup and exploded my hand and sliced off my pinky. So that was fun. I hate the injuries that are off the court. That always happened to me. It was stupid shit. Everyone was asking like, were you drunk?

And I'm like, no. Like, it was like, middle of the day. And they're like, still, it's COVID. Were you drunk? And I'm like, no. I wasn't. I was just trying to go through a soup for lunch out of the microwave. That's all I was.

I was just a little hangary. And it turned on me. Badly. But, I mean, like, currently I'm just kind of like starting back from where I was when I got injured, which was number nine in the world. and like competing for grand slams. There's four big grand slams in the year. And now I'm coming back and kind of restarting my career at 30

where I'm like supposed to be at the end of my career. So like I'm kind of in limbo in that fact and I'm still trying to figure out myself. Like I don't really have a clear answer as like what I'm capable of or what I see next. But I definitely see like I want to see if I still have it. I still want to see if I can still contend because when I was taking out of the game four years ago, for my first injury and my foot,

I was like compending for all the titles and all the glory and all the money and all the fun and, you know, all that stuff. And then I left and it was like, cool, now let's try this again. So that's kind of what I'm doing right now. What is driving you to be like, oh, I want to continue playing? A lot of different things. I mean, when I was first starting without a care in the world and like young, stupid, It was kind of like just piss and vinegar

Like I wanted to prove so many people wrong And just really Hated a lot of what people told me I could be Or what they wanted or saw or The naysayers and stuff like that And The haters Yeah, pretty much

They're still plenty of them Or the Tinder swindler would say his enemies I still have not watched that yet And I will I am catching up I'm on Ozarks right now So I'm still playing catcher up, but like right now, what's driving me is kind of what I was saying earlier is just like,

I want to see if I still have it. I still want to see if I can contend because when you have something and it's like totally tangible of like the greatest achievements you could ever achieve in whatever you do and it's taken away in a week or three days and you're like, well, what happened? And now you're coming back and playing again and people are pretending like they don't remember anything that you did. And so it's like, well, I was actually something. I was someone. It sounds like that drives you.

I remember, I forget, maybe I saw you playing at the Australian or one of the warm-up tournaments. And I remember being like, Coco's back. That bitch is back. And I was like excited because when you're on, you are scary. And I know from present experience. Just like when you're on, when you're serves on, when you're feeling yourself and you're controlling like everything, it's.

what are you going to do but i i also think tennis is so interesting now that i've been out of it for so long but still love it in a way how like your ranking always was so tied to your value like you're the same cocoa arguably a way more mature stronger cocoa than four years ago but that cocoa was ranked higher so it's like how would you cope with those like dealing with the ranking and your, your ego? I mean, it's, I'm definitely less of a jerk, I would say that. I mean, that comes, I mean, that comes with maturity, too. Like, when you're, when you're, like, 22 and 21 and, like, just cruises in the world

and playing all these, like, great events and meeting all these people and, and just having kind of the world as your oyster, it's like, you're kind of a jerk to everyone because you have so much. And you just think, like, things are so easy. And that was similar, kind of, I was saying earlier was like when I was playing and competing for the grand slams, ranked number nine in the world, you know, going against the Serena Williams and the Venus Williams and the Sharapovas and all those players, I was the most unhappy I've ever been.

I had finished number nine in the world and had won the Fed Cup, which is basically tennis's Olympics. I had contended for two semifinals and two grand slams, one at U.S. Open, won at Australia, quarter final, Wimbledon, losing the Sharapova. I mean, like, name anything you wanted, I had it. And I couldn't have been more miserable, hated what I was doing more, and started the year again because tennis basically starts from January 1st and end November 15th. So we're playing all year. And started the year again, and I was like, I'd rather be anywhere than here.

And here I was in Australia, summer, beautiful. I love Australia and here I am yelling about bananas on the court because I really like could not and I was sicker than a dog because I had ended up getting the flu and like just could not have hated what I was doing where I was and who was around me more and I ended up getting injured and then everyone disappeared. So I was like so tied to what I was doing and who I was as Coco Van deway the tennis player more so than who I was as Coco Van deway the person. And that's what I had imagined in my mind that I had done so well with separate the two. Like I had my friends at home who knew me from grade school and this and that and like they- California girl. Yeah, they loved me for me. Yeah.

And then there was like, you know, the tennis friends and the sponsors and like the federation people and stuff like that that want things from you. And I thought I had separated it so well. And when I started to get injured, I realized I hadn't separated it at all. I was so tied into and everyone was so tied into Coco Bandaway, the tennis player that had basically the brand. Yeah, the brand. I was a brand. And I mean, I still am a brand, but like I was a brand. And anywhere you went, like, I would go to a grocery store with my younger sister who's 11 years younger and like people would follow me in a

grocery store and she's like, why is this guy following you and trying to like staring at us? And I was like, well, I play tennis and I'm pretty good. And like, you know, she's 11 years old. And here I am at 21, just taking her around. she didn't get it but like now going out and about and like not being validated with like a huge ego check like things like that weren't happening as often or like I wasn't getting you know the recognition or like the freebies or like you know getting invited to tournaments and stuff like that and I was like hello last year I was literally in the semifinals playing against mass and keys and Sloan Stevens and Venus Williams and now you pretend I don't exist

what? It's crazy. It's called, it's called an ego death that you just had. I died. I died. It's dead. The ego got injured and then it flopped over. I had to be resurrected big time. I laid on the couch like such a homeless person. Like my mom came over one day and was like, you needed to get your hair done and nails done. And then we'll like could talk again. Because I was so depressed. I like had no idea. But then it's funny because you're depressed because you lost what you had. But then it's funny because you're depressed because you lost what you had. But then. then you're also saying when you had it when you were winning you weren't happy why do you think that is uh why i think i i i had when i was winning and so depressed was because the reasons why i thought i was playing tennis and competing and trying to achieve all these goals and everything like that was you know i wanted i wanted to make my mom happy that was number one similar you know my mom was my coach essentially she took me to all these tournaments financed everything that was going on to the fullest that she could.

I mean, I wasn't a wealthy kid, and so it's not easy. I mean, tennis is super expensive, and I was very fortunate to have many coaches give me three lessons and this and that. So I wanted to validate my mom and everything and all the sacrifices that she had given me. I wanted to basically stick a middle finger to everyone that said I couldn't do it. I mean, that was a big one. And then also, I wanted to be so successful that I wouldn't, have to do anything ever again like I had always had this kind of I guess like great cloud

around me that like you're going to be a failure you're never going to achieve it you're going to have to like work at McDonald's because I mean I never went to college I mean I went professional at 16 so what do I know about the real world and so I just wanted to learn how to drink well I learned how to do that as a professional tennis player don't worry about that you can learn that anywhere. You don't need to learn that in college. No, no, you don't. But it was just like going against all those people and I wanted to prove them wrong

so badly and validate my mom so much. And in that, if I achieved all that, I would have made myself happy. I would have validated myself. And then when I did do that and didn't get the responses that I was expecting from, you know,

whether it was my mom or my family, because I'm very family-oriented and tied it crushed me I was like I achieved all this and no one's saying congratulations they're more saying well you didn't invite me so I didn't even watch

I'm like what this is fucking powerful this is fucking powerful because you kind of as an athlete we're like okay if I do A B C and D I win like if I get this and if I hit this then there's happiness

but it shows how like it was always just in you and like you're never going to get that external validation that like really puts to peace your own like self hate or your own doubts it's like you just have to wake up one day and it's and be like empathetic and compassionate with yourself which is fucking hard especially as an athlete when the only no one spoke to us compassionately no no no no all the voices in my head are like my coaches like people who were angry at me when I didn't perform and like that's all you know yeah I always I always remember this this moment where I was with my coach and whenever I would win it would be like oh yeah we won you know it was a it was a whatever the score was and then the second we lost I lost it would be she lost and like the terminology of that of we and versus like together we won but if if I lost it was a solo thing and I was like well if you want to take credit when I win you got to take credit when I lose in a way oh for sure but there was definitely like no validation for me when I won because

I was so angry to do everything else I was so determined and my determination came in anger and in like you know kind of the middle finger to everyone which I succeeded and relished in But then when things got quiet and disappeared, I realized how really, like, it hurt me. How, like, because it's not, it's not really my personality at all to be an angry person. I'm very happy. I'm very chill. I'm actually super introverted and, like, quiet. And, like, whenever I say that to people that don't know me that well and that aren't that close to me, they're like, yeah, right.

You're like, you're the first one to talk and the last one. finish, you know, that sort of person. And I'm like, yeah, but that's why I'd leave Europe twice a year and have to go home because I just want to go home and sit on my couch and have my dog and, like, never see anyone that cares anything about it. Like, I took my dog all day today with me. I mean, she's old and going blind, unfortunately, but I love that dog at death. I love old dogs. I was 15-year-old Pipple who's like wheezing in the other room. I would have taken her here, but she would have been whining. And I was like, Like, I can't have that in the head phone.

I would be like, what's that sound in a dog, is it? It's just a wanting animal. She's fine. She's just talking. I love how before we started, you were explaining how you kind of can relate to some of my stories. And it's so funny because I consider myself, like, to get deep because you'll get it. Like, I played for University of Wisconsin.

I played, like, one for the team. I was having a lot of performance anxiety. I had the service yips, like Sabalanka. It happens. and I just was like, look, the universe is not, does not want this for you. Like, do I think you could get to like top 600 maybe, that you're not doing anything with that? Who are you trying to prove? Like, do you want to just lose the money?

So I quit. And then I remember just crying all the time being like, why did you spend your whole life for this? Like, why was it? What's the purpose? And I think I'm watching, like, you know, Naomi Osaka, Simone Biles. How is your mental health when it comes to, like, the pressure and the winner? like what is your perspective to keep yourself sane during this insane journey of professional tennis so for a lot of my career i just thought i was above it like i would have these ultimate

highs and then like huge lows and like it didn't mean anything i no one talked really in depth of like well she can't she doesn't want to go practice she doesn't want to go play like why is that and they'd be like oh you know just give her a week off like she'll figure out and like i did I would figure it out or I would just push through because I think all athletes are like people pleasers in a way. Like we always want to do more. We always want that extra rep. We always want to be the first one in the gym and the last one to leave. I mean, when someone calls you coachable, when someone calls you coachable, you're like, yay.

I remember one coach was like, you just have to forget everything and trust me. And with like changing my grip and all this stuff. and I remember being like, I feel so out of control. I mean, we could have a whole other conversation of like the psycho, like, babble of like what coaches say to young kids and like how impressionable kids are. I mean, I think there's so much that can be said like the impressions of like teachers in school and coaches that you have growing up, how impressionable and like how much that can change your outlook on anything.

I mean, I hated school and I remember I had third grade teacher, sorry, second grade teacher, Mr. Freeze, and he made me love school. And I had just left Long Island to come to California. My parents had gotten divorced and we had moved over here. And I had hated school. I was an outcast. Like, everyone knew I was like the kid with the divorced parents and stuff like that. And it wasn't cool and whatever. You know, everyone's divorced now. So it doesn't matter. Yeah. I feel like I was on trend. Yeah. I mean, everyone get in line. I mean, now your parents are horse line were just ahead of the curve and and this teacher made me feel so welcome and like made me in like he had a piano in his classroom and would sing and he was a trained opera singer

I mean like wild things like you don't even like think are possible but like this guy made my like year and life turn around because like I was went from like a happy family or like cohesive family at least to like put up your what you're now moving to California from lot island and like it's it's all happening for you over here no that's like trauma but it shows how a good coach or a good teacher can really bring the best out of you and one that isn't great and like you guys have to understand that with a coach and a tennis player it's a very intimate relationship of like trust one-on-one spending all this time traveling together and but it's also almost like parent-child in a way when you're like a kid learning the space and

and technique and all this stuff. And then it turns when you become a professional, like, I'm paying his salary or her salary. I'm supposed to say you're the boss, technically. But they're telling me everything I have to do. And so it becomes kind of like a lot of people compare it like boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend relationship. Because like you were saying, we have to travel together every week.

We're traveling all over the world. We have to get dinners, meals, go train, practice, listen to each other. and sometimes that works like not every day your boyfriend or girlfriend's listening to you or hearing what you're saying and you're like you know what screw you you're such a jerk like I hate you so much but you have to go get dinner and be nice and be in front of other people and like put a smile on and that happens I mean that's that's literally tennis I say in a nutshell I do think also because I'm thinking about your journey and how like I wanted to go pro that's all I wanted from when I was a little kid but I kind of fell out of love with the sport

and I didn't really know it but I think there's a thin line between also just being really fucking good and like I feel like you were naturally so talented like with a serve like you have you could probably hate the sport and still be winning tons of matches how have you managed

like not always wanting to be on the court and that being your life well I implore everyone to go read Andre Agassi's book if they want to understand tennis at all and it's actually super relatable I mean the guy did crystal meth so like it's it's super relatable everyone does just a Monday average Monday but like just kind of the inner turmoil that you face day in and day out with like a hard nose parent that implores you to get out there and train and like implores you in different ways I mean Andre had a difficult parent-child relationship but it's not always a parent sometimes it's a coach that is just abusive or it's you know an uncle or you know whoever is your mentor and that's what i kind of mean about you're so impressionable someone always takes control of what you're doing and pushes you into the line of direction when i was a kid that was my mom my mom was a two-time Olympian and i was very fortunate that i also lived with my grandparents so

So it was my grandparents, my mom's parents, and my mom, we all lived together with my older brother. And so, like, my mom couldn't always take him in a tournament. So it was my grandparents. And I loved when my grandparents would come when I was a kid because my grandfather was like the ying to my mom's yang. Like, my mom was all like, we're like bulls, like we're going. And if we don't win, we fight harder and we yell harder and we scream harder. where my grandfather was more like, okay, let's go play this match. If you win, we write three things that you do well,

and we write three things you did not so well, and we go and practice. You lose. We write three things you did well, three things you didn't do well, and we go practice. Nothing changes. The world doesn't end. We're like, when you're a kid,

the world ended when you lost. Like, you cried. The world literally was, it ended to the point that I dealt with a lot of performance anxiety where like practice i was like killing it loving it's having so much fun the second i go on the court like everything smelled differently it looked differently and i would just like have a lot of performance anxiety have you ever dealt with that kind of stuff i was the opposite and that's that's pretty much like i don't like tennis i like competing like yeah so i hate practice i still hate practice. I don't like to practice at all. And like if I could literally go play every tournament and

never practice, I would. I just would. I love actually training in the gym and like working out. Like, don't get me wrong. I love working out and like playing tennis also. Yeah. But if you put, you prefer to be out there fighting. Let, let me fight somebody. I mean, like, I wrestled as a kid. Like within. I saw that. Yeah. Well, wrestling and boxing, they say are like the closest sports to tennis. I also did boxing as like a cross-straining one year because I was just like, I want to hit some shit. Fuck, yeah. I love boxing. But I just love competing.

Hitting is like the thing you miss after leaving tennis. I mean, that's why I was going to hit something, you know? Yeah. You just go to hit something. Well, I've been there. I just love competing. That's it. I just want to compete.

I want to see somebody lose. Like I thrive. You have the killer instincts. I do. We're psychotic. Yes. Totally crazy. And I've always been that way.

I mean, when I would go, there's, like, still stories that are told, I mean, having divorced parents, like, I go visit my dad and I live with my mom. Like, I would go visit my dad and be as terrible as I wanted to because I knew I wouldn't get in trouble with my mom. My mom was authority where, like, my dad was kind of like vacation, not that, you know, he didn't have authority either. I just knew, like, this is my freedom kind of thing. And, like, I would lock my step sister out of the house. like i would just like be crazy like bad competing and like she wasn't like as athletic as my older brother and i my older brother and i are just a year and a half apart so we were like together always like causing mayhem and like we would create obstacle courses that we knew she couldn't

like even be with us just to like be able to lock her out of i mean just like terrible bully things now that like probably we would be like in big job like she's talking about in therapy now yeah i'm sure she is obviously I don't, I mean, I should be now. There's probably some deep down rooted reason that I should be in therapy for all that for, but I mean, like, as kids, you're just, like, racing bikes and, like, at some point, you know, someone needs a little bit of bullying. I feel like, I feel like kids mature when they get bullied a little bit.

You're, like, even now. And you're testing boundaries with your little sister, you're enjoying, because he was probably bullying on you a little bit. We're not, this is not enabling bullying podcast. No, no, no. I'm not saying it's right. It did get a good personality, probably. Yes.

Yes. I mean, you got to get made fun of a little bit. I mean, kids are mean. You have to roast each other. You got to learn your boundaries. You got to see if the stove it's hot and touch it or don't. Keep her humble. Yes, yes.

But I do have to say for you, I have a lot of belief in you because loving to compete is what you do for a living. Like, that's where you get hungry. you feel the high and i'd have to say you know camilla georgie yeah when she won would she won like indian wells or so she won one of these like big tournaments and i think she's 30 or like 29 and i just remember she's a little bit older than us oh yeah so and so she'd never had the result before in her whole career and i remember being so fucking i don't know her personally but being very proud of her like oh she figured something out mentally later in her career that because she hits the crap out of the ball oh yeah she hits it harder than

i do and she's like five six tiny i'm six foot so like let's put that in perspective everybody you can put her in your pocket but there's something i think about with tennis this day and age where like if you can get your mind right it doesn't matter like what age you are and you're physically like healthy your knees are okay and you're you know like you're you know like you want to be as agile as you can, especially after your injuries on your foot and hand. But it's like, I feel like there's an advantage to almost being more experienced. There is. I mean, back to the mental aspect, it took me until I was, I'd made the quarterfinals at Wimbledon for the second time.

This was in 2017. So I was, what was I? 26. And I, this was the year I had like my best year. ever and playing well and i got to the quarterfinals and this was a player i should have beaten and i went into the match like i have this and then i knew who was in front of me the next match would have been garbine mugerusa who i have a winning record against and i know i could beat her and then if things got better i probably would end up playing venus williams in the final

and I was like, you know, Venus had just beat me in Australia semi-finals. I think I know how to beat her. Like, I could win Wimbledon. Like, this was going through my mind in the quarterfinals. And I get out there and completely shit the bed. Completely shit the bet. Like, I was the higher-ranked player. And not that I was ranked super high at the time I was in the 20s,

and this girl was probably in the 50s or so. And, but I was in tennis, like when you're the higher-ranked player, player you're supposed to win and it's supposed to be like pretty solidly easy win and I ended up losing pretty convincingly like lost and I left that that match and I was so embarrassed that I had thought ahead and I'm not one to look ahead in the draws and I knew just like what was in front of me and my coach and I talked about and talked about it for like two days and he's like I think he should go get a mental coach. Like I got a guy and he introduced me.

I still used him the day and I had tried, you know, mental coaches or you want to call them sports psychologists, whatever you want to call them. And it had all been like huge failures for me because I didn't want to be codependent on someone else. Like I did, tennis, tennis to me is such an individual sport and I'm the only one out there. I'm the only one that can make the ball over the net. I can I'm the only one that I can run the ball down I mean that's it's only me like this person that's sitting at a desk telling me you know take three deep breath before I serve like isn't doing jack shit out there I'm I'm the one actually doing it so I thought it was it was you know these sports psychologists were all like ridiculous and like cooops yeah basically and so he introduced me to this guy he's in bath England his name is Don McPherson and he's like why don't you call him like I've I've spoken to him and my coach at the time was Pat Cash, who had won Wimbledon, and he's an accomplished player himself.

And so I called him up, and he said, you know, I've been watching you. And Pat has told me about you. And I said, well, this is all I have to say. I think what you guys do is basically crap and I don't believe in it. And I don't think what you guys, I told him this straight up. I was like, I don't believe in anything that you guys do. And I told him the exact same thing. Like, I don't want to be codependent on someone.

I don't think that's right. And basically your job is to prove me wrong. So prove me wrong. And when we started work together all summer, I made a final. I made another semi-final at the U.S. Open and did really well. Yeah, that was like a hot, hot time. Is there anything, because there's all type of listeners of this pod, is there any advice that he gave you that you've used, like, in all areas of your life?

Yeah. So I definitely, I've grown up with men most of my life. I have an older brother who basically him and I, you know, did everything together. And in tennis, I trained with men and always had male coaches and things like that. And so I'm not very sensitive, even though my older brother is super sensitive. And he's the first one to cry. And like I'm more like the one that points in less at someone. crying, you know, I'm a bully. Again, we're not promoting bullying, but I'm the bully.

She's self-aware. Yes, I am fixing the problem. But, like, you know, I was just raised in, like, if you're not bleeding, why are you crying? Where, like, my mom basically coddled the boys and, like, you know, they're supposed to be sensitive and soft where the girls are supposed to be tougher than nails. And what I learned in. when I was going with my mental coach with Dawn because I mean like once we got to know each other we would talk more about just life in general and just one thing that I can take away from that in all aspects of life which helped me kind of control my feelings because my feelings would be either super high or super low was to allow a thought to come in to my mind and we call it

the monkey mind and he wrote a book about the monkey mind and it's basically that inner monologue that you have that like oh you suck that was a stupid like when you're in a conversation you said what's up and you meant to say hey or like you just screwed up and you're like god it's like the storyline you're telling yourself right and so you let those thoughts happen and it's okay to happen where like for me i was like this is totally unacceptable because i hold myself at such high standard that i can't be saying these things i can't even be talking myself this way these people can't be like it would just go in circle and circle in the circle because I was trying to refute it so much.

But he's like, let it happen, acknowledge the thought, and then let's move on. Because like when you're having a conversation, like you and I, I acknowledge what you're saying. I take it in and like, all right, we can have a reply or a rebuttal and I can be like, she's full of shit or like, you know, whatever I want to think. But so many sports psychologists say, like, you've got to be like stone cold and like no emotion can affect you. And he's like, it's okay for it to affect you, but don't.

And you're not the kind of player that's ever going to be a robot who's like, super calm after missing an overhead. No, no, no, no. There was a distinct moment where I knew that was never going to happen for me. I was training with the USDA, which is the United States Tennis Association. It basically controls all of American tennis. And my scent didn't last long. It wasn't made for me. Some people it's made for it wasn't made for me.

I was training with this girl, Julia Boster up. super sweet girl and she would kick my ass day and day out in practice i mean just like the worst score is six oh in tennis every day and we would train every day for like months a months a month and there was one practice i i'm going out there and i'm trying so hard to just be like that perfect person for these people and like do the right thing take the steps the right way and not have it affect me that this girl's still whooping my butt in practice every single time and I'm in the warm up and I like to talk shit like I grew up around guys like I like to talk some smack and like you know you do something dumb like I acknowledge it and be like oh do it again you know

sort of sort of conversations and she didn't handle that well and me being a bully I knew that and so I was I would talk some crap to her like in the warm up after mind you, we had trained already for three hours together. You would have loved college tennis. Oh, God, no, no, no. I'm about to go see my friend this weekend in Arizona and go to a college tennis match. So my first ever won. I'm not excited.

You just start heckling the other team. You're like allowed to you. You could yell anything. It's why. I am a professional heckler. I go, my boyfriends went to U.O, and he's a big Oregon guy. And for his birthday one year, we went to the Oregon versus Stanford game, big rivals. I went straight to that Stanford store

I bought Stanford T-shirt and I can't have myself I'm a professional heckler and it's fun to bust balls yeah so we're practicing and we're about to start like hundreds match that we had played probably that month

and I miss the first ball into the net snap the racket over my leg like those racking with the bat snap it over my leg and how crazy I am it didn't break all the way so I go again to snap it with like shards of of the racket slices up my leg I'm bleeding and I'm and like mind you like the USDA is basically walking into a government building so like I'm like blood like going in to get my passport renewed you know sort of like that's basically the kind of like the quorum

you're supposed to have is like you're supposed to be presentable and proper and here I am like you're representing all of American tennis and so the coach comes up There's little girls watching, and they're like, Mom, what happened are? And the coach comes up to me and says, I think we're done here. And I was like, you're right. And I just walk off. And the coach that I had known since I was, he was my gear coach. And so in tennis, we go by years.

And he's like, his name is Richard Ashby. I love him to death. And he's like, Coco, that was a very bad example for those little girls out there. And I was like, I'm so sorry, Richard. like crying and like hysterical it was it was a freaking mess what is your opinion on tour of how women are treated with like the breaking rackets and yelling shit and when they are going to give warnings versus the men oh way different like we can't even say the word shit without getting a warning while the guys can say shit i mean like there's this extensive like what you can say

and how you can say it and when why how you know all those things like i could break a racket and like do it in a bathroom and be not get a penalty but if I break it on court I get you know a $1,500 penalty I can take you thought of this you're like should I just go in the bathroom no no no I've done that one before too I was linked up with pingus and I went into the bathroom at the US open and destroyed a racket and got I've I've destroyed a bathroom like I took the door and I just like rammed it and it broke the lock and some girl was just in the locker I'm like, are you okay? And I'm like, obviously not.

See, by the way, guys, we're all fine. You should put your kids into tennis. It's a great outlet for any sort of like emotional trauma that you want them to have. I say tennis is the only sport. You see people like lose their minds to themselves. Yeah, so bad. But I have a question for you. You have a confidence to yourself.

Some people call it a swag. Some people may say it's genetic. But to have the balls to. to play with Martina Hingis, to have the balls to just, like, play against Serena and really believe that you're going to, you belong there and you're going to win. Where does that come from? Because I was very naturally athletic. Like, I always was, like, top percentile.

But there were always moments where I was like, I don't belong here. I think it was just because, honestly, I think it was, it started when just having an older brother and my mom would put him into sports knowing that I would follow him so that's why I wrestled because I wanted to like wrestle and be with my older brother and so knowing that like as a you know young kid, young girl

I'm not going to play in the game unless I'm good because the boys aren't going to let me go play and catch the football unless I can actually do it and you have to be like exceptional I have to be even I don't have to be as good as the boys I have to be better than the boys to even get acknowledged to get into the game. So having that knowledge,

also, I mean, I grew up in a household full of athletes. My mom, like I said earlier, was a two-time Olympian in two different sports. My grandfather played in the NBA. My uncle played in the NBA. My other uncle played pro beach volleyball.

Did you deep down know you were going to be pro in something? You just didn't know what? So I always wanted to be Olympian. I didn't care what. I just wanted to be Olympian, not a professional athlete. I just wanted to be an Olympian because my mom was an Olympian. And so when I got to be in the Rio Olympics, that was like my all-time goal that I'd ever hit in my life. So that was super huge for me.

And like the confidence, I honestly take that for my grandmother. So not to like humble brag, but my grandmother was Miss America in 1952. I read that. She's like, not only am I very athletic, but I have very exceptionally symmetrical face jeans. Couldn't you tell? I get the genetic. Look at those cheekbones. So like I would, I would go like, because I'd, you know, church on Sunday. So like I'd get my church outfit on.

I would have to parade in front of my grandmother and healed because I live with my grandparents. And like, she would teach me how to walk and come into a room and like carry myself. And just like weird things that like you wouldn't ever think of like how to walk into a room and have everyone know. notice that you walked into the room, not by saying anything, but just by the way you walked into the room. I mean, that's probably where I would get my swagger and confidence because I love spending time with my grandmother. I mean, we would sit in her room and eat Oreos like after training and practices and I would win a match, lose a match. And she said, it doesn't matter. You're beautiful. And that's it. So you could have been a mind. So you could have been a

model six feet she could have but she decided the other way you also hit on something too much that's the problem girl same i um i also think you hit on something interesting that people don't think about when they think of the woman's tour is that a lot of the women we try like i played on the boys tennis team in high school like you train with a lot of men yeah there's a lot of women listening who are in male dominated fields like i'm i'm in comedy which is very male dominated people are or like you know fucking engineering what advice do you have because your whole life you've been surrounded by men that you've had to prove yourself what advice do you have for women in a male dominated field and how to not be intimidated well i think i think you have to understand

kind of a male mindset is is more competitive no they no it's just simple it's yeah what you see is what you get and that's why they have so much so much of a difficult time like relating to women is because like there's always something underlining and I can relate that to myself it's like I said I'm happy but like why didn't they notice I was like upset getting my water earlier and like also like my socks are like on my left foot and it said right and I it should have been the other way and like we're thinking about that stuff guys don't think about that stuff like they don't care and all they care about is like it's more like supply demand like you give me what I expect to the best of your abilities and you will get the praise and everything that

you want. And I think as, as women, we are always seeking praise. And I think if you just perform to the like flat out what is expected of you, you will get what you want. It's when you do something else or something out of their simple-minded box is when like things go haywire. like I have this with like even my male coaches and stuff like that or training partners and I hear you know let's hit 20 20 balls over the net cross court and it's like okay that's 20 balls that's easy and I think I've performed that to what they said but when it actually doesn't happen the way I expect it to my mind goes fucking crazy like I expected 20 balls to be 20 balls, and that's it.

And I thought I did it the way that they said. But what I missed was, yeah, we're going cross court, not down the line. And I screwed up that part. So that's why I'm not getting the praise that I expected or the acknowledgement that I expected. And I think if you just realize that men are just face value animals, like, what you see is what you get. And that's it. That's it. You can intimidate yourself as in like oh like they're stronger and all this stuff but it's like no women are so special in our own unique ways even when our brain can seem like complicated complex and women women conquer the world one million percent and my grandmother used to tell me that so many times it's like you know as much she's 50s you know back in the day where like you know be seen not heard kind of kind of aspect of of of which

women and children sort of thing. And she's like, there's never been a conversation that I sat at a table where I wasn't acknowledged, heard, seen. And it's all how you present yourself. If you present yourself as this crazy loud and like, please pay attention to me, no guy wants to pay attention to you. Like, they just don't. It's that subtlety of like, I know I'm fucking better than you.

So you're going to have to listen to what I have. have to say otherwise you're never going to hear it when you said i know when you said i know like that's just like believe that you deserve to be at the table believe that you're meant to be there and don't like a reason exactly and never forget that like you got to the table for a reason how you got there is basically the reason why you're there like relish in that you know that you belong you know you deserve it you deserve this moment you deserve and you probably had to work harder to get there absolutely and no one's don't ever feel like you need to be validated by this one man they don't or two men or five men whoever it doesn't matter it's all about your work your work in

how you perform and you knowing that you did it the right way should validate it for yourself and that kind of like how we started this like i was doing everything to validate so many other people except myself and when it all ended up happening for me i was miserable I was depressed. I could have hated everything that I did because I never actually felt validated myself because I never looked back and was like, Coco, you did a freaking really good job. I have chills, Coco. I have chills because that's like not to bring up Taylor Swift, but it's like she said she like won all these Grammys and stuff and she was just like alone and like didn't care. And then she was even more upset. Because you're like, wait, that was supposed to answer all my questions. But I do think. I'm excited for you because I feel like you're going to start playing for yourself. Because you're coming back from the dead, bitch. Like, you fucking had a, your hand was fucked.

Like, you didn't even know if you were going to be here. It's disgusting. Put it away. But we're going to play the seven deadly sins. Seven deadly sins. Also, I just, my mom's around and she goes, oh yeah, Coco, she's sassie. Isn't she? I was like, yes, she is. She will not stop talking about bullying her little sister. Anyway, what are you greedy about? My time. That is what I am very greedy about. Well, it's an honor that you're letting me talk shit to you for over an hour. Are you good at saying no to people? No, I'm not good at saying no to people. And I also am very much, I forget who said it. I'm a good time girl I guess like if someone has an idea of like having a good time I'm very like

into that like and I love last minute like fun ideas and and just like you know what shoot you want you want to go to the Bahamas yeah let's just go I'm ready like where I probably should say no and train and and do like you know adult things but I'm like uh someone's offering to take me to the Bahamas So I'm going to go. Who are you envious of? I am actually envious of, like, my childhood friends, like my normal Joe friends. Like, I feel like they don't have the difficulties that I have to face in family, in career, in all these things that come along with being a professional. athlete and I'm envious of kind of them because my friends I know the best so like it's it's easy to

say like somebody like I don't know Michelle Obama or something like that like but I feel like someone that you intangibly know I feel is more relatable I also feel though like because you're taking more risk you'll have like higher highs than a person or the nine to five but you will have lower lows that just like how the universe works do you still get crazy highs from winning or is it just like, oh, thank God I won. No, no, no. I still get crazy highs. I still get super nervous. I mean, I can't even fathom, you know, walking out on the court sometimes. Like, I just get super nervous still to this day and performing in front of thousands of people is just such a high to me. Do you calm down once the point starts? Yeah, it takes me about three games. So that's about

10 minutes for me to calm down oh my god that is so funny my dad used always be like why don't you just give them the first three games why even play them oh my god i can i can relive that like in my mind like someone saying them to me saying that to me as a junior like pretend you're already down three love okay i was like one didn't i like that was my sassy attitude back was like i won didn't i so what was the matter um what are you gluttonous about what do you overindulgence besides bravo well yeah besides bravo so i'm i'm an uber bravo fan i am gluttonous god in laziness i overindulge in being lazy i i think that that's something to be gluttonous in i mean i i i relish the times where i can be lazy and i'll take as much as i can give

i'm the same way it might be from just like trauma of having to work out so often when you don't want to, but I told myself. I literally said this today. I think I was on the rehab table for my shoulder. And I was like, you know, I think when I retire, I'm just going to, like, sleep a lot. Oh, my God. So I told myself, I'm never going to run a timed mile again. And I'm never going to wake up at 6 a.m. to work out.

And I held my promise. It's been 10 years. Like, my friends will be like, oh, my God, let's go work out at a boot camp at 7 a.m. And I go, apps a fucking lootly not. That's not my idea of phone. No, I don't, I don't understand it. You don't have to. You can do the same thing at 8 o'clock.

I don't get it. But also, it's when you're chasing like a dream that will get you up or like the fear of your coach getting upset. But like afterwards, I'm like, I'm not trying to win the years open. I'm not doing that extra set. I don't understand why you want me to go to like gear 14 when you also said you can go to gear 10. I'm going to go to gear 10 because I don't want to do this. anymore. Oh my god. Okay, this is going to be a funny question to ask you in particular. When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or anger? It was recent. It was at my boyfriend

for sure. He gets, he gets to some brunt of my anger. It was definitely like last week. I can't remember what it was about, but I, I'm definitely, I'm definitely, you guys meet because dating on tour is definitely not easy. So we met, it's this is, I mean, I'm not sappy, love person, anything like that, but this is like a very nice story. So in tennis, there's national tournaments. So basically everyone in the United States gets together like the best of the best from York to Florida, to California, Texas, like they all come together and play against

each other. And we do it by age groups. And this was 18 nationals. in Berkeley, California. And no one in my family could come with me. And so I had to get a housing family. And my boyfriend's housing family was my family. And so I met him when I was just 16.

And he was 15, so I'm full cougar. And only by like eight months, but it's okay. Wait, so he's just a guy who's family lent the house. He's not like a tennis player. He played junior tennis, but nothing like substantial. like he like we we played during COVID and like I can't play tennis with him it doesn't work I mean like he can keep the ball back like if I'm nice to him but like I'm just as we figured out in this podcast I'm a bully and I want to win and so I'm going to win and COVID was a very

dark time for us and playing cards and board games and things like that like we were playing gin one day and I had the cards in my hand and I just started elbowing in like the last card and he's like i literally don't want to play with you anymore like you're the worst person but i'm like what because you're losing my elbow in the card i my fiance wants me to like hit it easy with him and i'm like yeah but like eventually you get bored and you want to just like hit a winner obviously and he's get mad at me and then he hurt his groin i'm like it's not my fault that you're 45 and you didn't stretch before yeah you should have won't i don't know what you want me to say here's like you're so on on summer house the

show I'm on. I fucking like pulled my back right before I went on and Nina has also told me to watch summer house I have not watched it yet so like bear with me on on so you found out about me not from Bravo but from Nina being like I like this podcast yeah wait I've oh my god Nina and I think had the same coach back in the day in Florida I really texted her before I went on and I was like you'll never guess who I'm podcasting with and she's like she named like some tennis like podcast. I was like, no, Nina, God, Hannah. And she's like, oh, I'm tuning in. Now I need Nina on. Isn't she like running something right now? She's like running UTR, but she was like on Tennis.com or something like that with Tennis Channel. Also, do you plan on becoming a sports

broadcaster like the next Johnny Mac? I would like to. Yeah, I think that would be like something tangible for me. I've tried it. But like my, that's, one of my dreams to become after tennis, but probably my biggest dream after tennis is to be the captain of like the Olympic team and the Fed Cup team because like that was my biggest dream was to be. Do you like coaching? No, I've never coached my life and I don't have the patience for it. But like I think like out of these like two weeks that these two events happen, I could do it. But like to coach like another professional or to coach like a kid like through a year. no chance I don't I I don't have because I know what I expect from a coach like the time energy and I don't want to give that and I know that of myself because like once I retire I were going to say they're not going to give it and you're like I'm not going to get it like I'm just like really not going to get it like I want to sit home and like be with my dog and like be in San Diego it's so funny when you said captain I thought you're going to say captain of a ship like below deck oh no

No, no. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Okay. When was the last time you let your ego get in the way of something? Ooh, this is a tough one. But, like, how's your ego doing? My ego is bigger.

No. Now it's back. No, like my ego never leaves. Like, I always get called out all the time about it. Um, it was actually during this like little Super Bowl party that I had at my house. And it was literally like my four girlfriends and, um, came over. And like it was literally I was just like egoing about like I made these like a brea tacos like I've been seeing them on the internet and I thought like I was just so jazzed about like myself and proud and like I'd spent six hours and I could talk about how much time I'd spent and like my ego was getting out of control like that's the best tacos you ever had right like and they're all like you need to calm down. They're very great like yeah they're so good but like shut the fuck up.

in a way in a way that's a most california conversation like my tacos yeah my tacos my margaritas are good and my tacos are good like i made really good block like i mean see here goes my ego again yep there she goes out of control okay final question not for your boyfriend to listen to i ask when's the last time you lusted over someone besides your boyfriend who's the hottest guy on tour but like with his personality you know i mean because you know like we know who's like the hottest ones but like you know them as people who do you think is a good catch so i really like matteo baritini i think his looks and his personality yeah christine he's so nice like i i'm i'm a i'm a i'm a nice guy fan like i'm not into like the funny guys i mean like you can be

funny that's fine but like that's a secondary like i just want a nice guy you mean like a smart asses you're like i don't know i don't do that because i'm enough of a smart ass for everyone to deal with. So like we don't need two smart asses in the group. So I would say him. He's he's up there for sure. Also selfishly I just want to know what's your favorite tournament to go to in terms of like the vibe and and like the place to visit and the food and all that shit that comes with it. So I would say in the United States, I would say go to Indian Wells, which is in March. That is a great tournament. you can get super up close and personal with like the players and and just kind of the vibe is really fun um and the food in the desert i mean like the desert's fun i like the desert i mean there's bougie-ass hotels and there's always good parties that are happening during that time but if you're going to travel and actually go to a tennis tournament go to the australian open hands down that's a great tournament spend the money go the food in melbourne is really good they got a really good

food scene the brecki the brecki some avo avo toast and you know just they they they're you basically leave winter in the u.s and go to their summer and and they are just like you go through their fourth of july which is australia day so like you're just living their best summer as it's so much fun there's just like kangaroos high-fiving that's what i envision yeah go where's a place where's a place that you've been that people wouldn't expect being like cool or like fun. Because you've probably been to the corners of the earth with these random tennis tournaments.

I would say, especially when you're trying to get points in the beginning. Yeah, I've been to weird places. I mean, like in the U.S., like no shade. Like I actually enjoy weird-ass places.

But like probably the weirdest place I ever went was Dothan, Alabama. And they're famous for their peanuts. And like there's peanuts on every corner of like their major high which goes in a giant circle around the town and like every exit has like a famous peanut like dressed up character wise and that was super weird um i went to hooters or applebees every day for some i ever went to a hooters um but outside the u.s probably Belarus Belarus I found really cool I went to Minsk and um a lot of tennis players come out of there too yeah there's a

of a Belarusian players and like what I thought was cool so like as I've traveled I've become more of like a history buff and like just reading about all these different countries and just getting cultured and and being a tourist because like when when you lose or have some downtime like be a tourist for sure so like I'm I was there playing for the US playing against Belarus and I just gotten in from China so I was just super jet lagged and I asked my captain for a day off and we were playing in the finals and she's like, do you want a day off before the finals? And I was like, yeah, I'm jet lagged. I don't want to be on a tennis court. Like, yeah, I want to day off. So my coach, myself and my trainer went out and like just board around Belarus and like all you see like on the outside facade of all these buildings is like everything old communists, like gray, squid. and like kind of not decrepit but like sad

I don't I yeah like when you think of like communists like that's what I saw and like of what you read and then you go inside these buildings or like inside a restaurant and like the liveliness and the and the the fun that they would have and how much that they loved because not many places love having Americans

but they loved having the Americans in there and like spoke English great which not everywhere you go they speak English and not everywhere I go I can speak whatever language I go to so like there's I don't speak Russian and I was it was so fun and like I love I love the the food that they had and just like the what makes places for me is just kind of the culture of the people like if they're fun and jovel and like just alive I really enjoy those types of places i agree the people can make the place it doesn't matter where you are it's who you're with yes um final final question in hell because you've had so many ups and downs and you have

kind of navigated through head first head strong what what advice do you have for the listeners and what to do to cope with your hell when you're at your darkest i would say find an animal if you like animals oh my god i agree um you know as weird as it sounds like the conversations i would have with my dog and like just talk and like go on walks and like just tell her about like my day and stuff like that like when i was in my lowest of lows that was honestly what was like because i was embarrassed to be in front of my friends like my good friends because i was like who am i without tennis and like who am I without the fame who am I without all this stuff and like I would just sit there with my dog and like cuddle go for walks and talk and and like just this stupid thing.

My cat saved my life for sure. Oh, I mean like I would that's that's what I would say honestly like that's that's what helped me the most. And I think what kind of dog. I have a white German shepherd. Her name is duchess. She is 13. And unfortunately, can't see you that well, but it's just a good girl. She's just a good girl. So you can't travel with her? Because I know some of the girls have like little dogs that they'll like bring around. No, I wish I could.

I take, I take her out like, I mean, when I go play in the desert, the tournament in any Wells that I was talking about, I take her out there and and put her in the hotel that I stay in. I mean, she's the laziest animal of all time. Like you think German Shepherd's big dogs. you got to like run them or like play ball that dog is the best napper of all time like literally I asked her when I because I usually take her out all day Wednesday and like that was today and so like I just take her with me she loves to get in the car and like just cruise and so like I was like come on let's go for for a walk and she's like not even moving and I'm like dude you've

been inside like sleeping with me all day like let's go and she's like kind of begrudgingly like getting up and I'm like all right yeah I feel that I feel that that's the fucking life she's like I'm not a professional tennis player I'm not an athlete whatsoever like I'm just chilling I'll play with my ball every once in a while but like otherwise I just want love and butter oh um she's like I'm beautiful I don't have to yeah um Cocoa where can people follow you where can people watch you give me the info so people can kind of support you long term. Okay, you can follow me on Instagram at Coco Vandy, V-A-N-D-E-Y, and Twitter, same thing, Coco Vandy. And then you can also watch me on tennis channel, ESPN2. I'll be playing come

March in the States. So come out, support, you know, all the good stuff that comes along with all the Burning and Hell crew that I've just like now invested myself in. Yes, the little devils. We're going to go and raid those tournaments um oh my god and i'm so excited for the open coming up because that's like the best energy i'll have to hit when i come to new york well yeah yeah well i would love that oh you know we have to do we have to make some funny tictox oh see i know i feel like the ticot has kind of gone over my head like like i feel so old saying that and i'm not that old i just like I was a part of that group that like when first TikTok came out

I was like TikTokers you know yeah that's stupid but now like all I watch on Instagram is TikTok like you know I like that's all my feet they found you but I still have not downloaded TikTok so oh my God you must do so many things in life maybe I don't know maybe oh my God well thank you so much Coco

for coming to hell you're incredible you're inspirational we love you I'm still mad that you beat me me a long time ago and you made me think I almost could win a set because you were tanking and I'll talk to you guys later. Bye.