Berner Phone - Corinne Fisher: Staying Slutty & Respecting Yourself

Episode Date: February 18, 2022

The Queen of the anti-slut shaming podcast, Guys We Fucked, Corinne Fisher is in Hell! We compare stories about dating addicts, she opens up about her past lives, dating younger guys, her OCD, and how she is dealing with death.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I know I'm difficult to date for sure because sometimes, like, getting communication out of me is, like, really, really difficult, which is wild because I speak literally for a living. But when I get home, I'm tired talking, you know? That is so funny. Well, I used humor to cope, so they were like, can you be serious? And I'm like, can you be serious? what is up? What is up, guys? We're in today. I am so excited for this guest who has really paved the way for female podcasters in general talking about sex, talk about being dirty, talking about their feelings. like she has paved the way for me she's from guys we fucked she has a special out our special

day karenne fucking fisher hello hannah it's so good to see you over the computer sorry for yelling at you no you can yell at me anytime i'm from new jersey so that just sounded like a soft whisper honestly i'm fine oh my god okay i'm so excited for this because i knew about you for a while but i remember first connecting with you when you were doing a stand-up bit about how you are attracted to addicts oh yes yes yes yeah it's weird being in comedy like i almost feel left out half of the time because i myself am not an addict so i guess i resolved that by just uh fucking every addict that i have met smelled touched come into contact what heard about i sometimes i seek them out you know it's like a sixth sense for addicts yeah oh it's crazy

But I feel like I have that too. Yes. From day one. And I'm not, I mean, I'd say I'm addicted to attention, maybe addicted to like, I was addicted to tennis when I was playing tennis. Yeah. I don't, I've never been smoked a cigarette, maybe because in my past life I was addicted to. I just don't trust myself. Yeah.

But I like being with people who have gone there and they, I want to, I don't remember the actual joke, but I wanted to know why do you think you're attracted to addicts? And for the listeners who are, let them feel a little. alone sure well i i you know i do a lot of kind of analyzing of my relationships and soul searching and stuff on guys we fucked and and what i have surmised is that uh because i had a nice childhood i misinterpret addiction as a as passion okay and so yeah i'm passionate i love passionate people but i'm passionate in like a healthy way where i can eat twizzlers and then put them down for months really you know i am not i am not an addict in that like once i get something i can't stop thinking about it and i have to get more like even with stand-up comedy like that's one of the

things i'm most obsessed with and i did i've done a really good job especially during quarantine of like unattaching myself from that but i still love it just as much but i know that i can go three four months without doing it and the world doesn't fall apart and that was such a valuable lesson to learn i now remember remember part of your bit was like the feeling when an addict becomes addicted to you is just the most incredible love that you know I guess is not healthy but I remember thinking like oh my god is that why I love them because you know when you've got him hooked oh yeah I basically like my thought is like if a month in you're not willing to die for me like what are we even doing here

why am I even trying any harder you know and I do think the media fucks us up like I have this joke right now about realistic sex and how all the time they are like breaking bookshelves, ripping clothes and how that's not actually like no one's ever broken a bookshelf with me. So like have I even had good sex before? Why is the bookshelf so close to the bed? Valid question. Well, it's a studio probably in New York City. So you know that is. The ovens like in the bathroom. But you're kind of the first anti-slut shaming podcast. Do you remember the first time you were called a slut or would you even categorize yourself as an actual slut? Um, I mean, what does slut even mean?

I mean, by today's standards, no. And certainly not anymore. I think kind of a lot of times you just kind of grow bored with the slut phase. And that certainly is true for me in my 30s. In my 20s, I guess I was in that I was just having very casual sex. I was never big on one night stands, but that's just because I hate people so much. So like, I can't. Yeah.

Way too social. Yeah. I can't. I like, basically. fucked all my friends in comedy once and then I was like well I certainly don't want more friends so I guess it ends here you know I don't I don't really know where to go but one night stands I've only had one in my entire life and they make me feel so uncomfortable because it's like it's like especially as a woman like you're going into a stranger's home that's wild why would you do that

that's asking to be murdered I get so shy when it comes to guys going down on me oh really I feel like I need to know that he's, like, so into me to, like, put his face in my labia. Right. Like, I feel like I can't enjoy it. I feel like it's so fucking intimate. Yes. And if it's a random dude, like, I barely know what my vagina looks like. Like, I don't want him all up in it.

Well, let me stop you right here and tell me tell you, I love this scenario in which a heterosexual man is going down on you during a one night stand. I love whatever dream world you live in Hannah, I really want to go there. You're like it's adorable. You think that might happen. that's what a fairy tale that you're living in that's beautiful but it's funny because you christina became the face of like we're against like slaming shut shaming sluts and that that's you almost became the face of like it's okay to be slutty yeah but like did you feel comfortable

with that like you're the face of like female sex and it's like that's a lot of pressure it it is it definitely is and there was a time when you're just like when I didn't even know why people wanted to have sex with me anymore. I mean not I'm not talking about far and wide like within the comedy community um and then uh you also do worry like oh I hope I'm like as exciting in bed as you would think one of the guys we fuck girls is but that lasted for a very short amount of time like I do feel confident in my skills and I mean just my whole life is like basically like I'm not that great but other people suck so bad that I look great in comparison. Just like in all things.

You know, like I always. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and it's ahead of the curve. Yeah. Yeah, my standards for myself are so much higher than society's standards that it doesn't, I'm only going to disappoint myself. But yeah, it was never weird for me because I've always been really comfortable with my sexuality.

I think it was probably a little weirder for Christina. She came from a more suffocating and rigid background. But I grew up like kind of like going. to like horror conventions and my dad introducing me to scream queens. I don't know how familiar you are with that genre, but it's basically like big-titted women who get killed in the early, you know, first couple minutes of a slasher film. So I'm like four years old and I'm like posing with like a double D in my face.

So that was always a fine thing in my family and I never felt weird about it. So you almost were like, hey, this is how you can speak on things when you've actually been in like a comfortable environment and learned about sex in kind of a chiller way, not that it was this big scary thing that you can shame people for. Yeah, I just have never been really big on letting other people tell me who I am or like what label I need to exist under. And that's been since I was a little kid. Like I just am who I am, take it or leave it. I don't really have time to make you feel more comfortable around me. And most times that's people projecting because they have a discomfort with themselves in some way. And like that is like

that's like my you know people like I always say I'm not really that talented my only talent is that I do truly love myself and respect myself and that's like that's that's the talent that I'm selling when I'm performing that's it why do you think how do you think you got respect for yourself which is a loaded question sure yeah people ask me this a lot and I've done it a lot of time thinking about I think part of it is just genetic that this is like who I am in this lifetime if we're getting really deep about it. I do feel like I've lived a lot of lifetimes. And I think part of it is that my parents did a really nice job supporting me and the things I wanted to do. But I definitely have a different level of self-esteem than my brother who grew up with the same parents in the

same household within the same couple of years. So I feel like some of it is just like who I am as a person because there was never a moment like it was not a journey towards self-love like most people have it just was always there like even my mom says she's like you were like the most confident six-year-old I ever met I don't know where it came from you know you popped out of the vagina and you were like hi doctor whatever um I'm here I need to I need to not just pass over what other lifetimes have you had what do you know about those lifetimes okay so I I I got really into woo-woo stuff over the past year or so in part because my father was really sick and he was dying and so I think a lot of times when something like that is happening you're just grasping

at anything else because this realm is so hard to deal with and you go like and you get nervous because you're like someone I love is about to leave this realm so you need like I need for my own sanity to believe that there is something else and so I was doing a lot of like I watched like, you know, surviving death on Netflix was this incredible series that I find really helpful and always recommend to people dealing with death. But I, like, I went super L.A. I got like a spiritual advisor. I'm learning how to read, I learned how to read taro.

And one of the things I did was a past life regression. Whether or not I fully believe in this, I don't know. But I do, there's definitely something in the back of my head that's like, you've done this before. You know, it's a sense of deja vu. like I've I've had this experience of living life before somewhere and so what I've been told and like what I've kind of seen in my own head is just like I've kind of been this warrior for women throughout many lifetimes and apparently like I never I really wanted to find out that I was a witch apparently I was not um but I was definitely someone who is like I would always hang out with witches and people who were shunned from society and I was kind of this link between like the quotes normies and the people who were shunned by society. And that speaks to me now. Because yeah, you can't fully help if you're just in the witches. You needed to connect. Yes, I see that.

And that really speaks to me now because like even in high school in the cafeteria, I was not being shunned by the rest of the school, but I certainly wasn't part of the popular kids. I was like kind of infamous. Everyone knew me and would talk to me, but they were like, that girl's kind of weird. Like out of 620 people in my graduating class. I was voted most unique if that gives you a little insight because that's like you know it's I was happy with it but really what most unique means in high school is like big is fucking weird now you know we can't place her we can't put her in a box but that's you now no one could put you in a box and I feel like I gravitate like I really like and I'm inspired by your

career because I feel like you're not playing by the rules and that's how I like to do things so when I see someone else, it's inspiring me to be like, oh, she accomplished that without doing A, B, C, D, which is what, like, society or, like, the latter kind of constructs a lot of people with. And you're kind of like, I'm going to make my own rules. And that's how, that's how creativity should work. I love being a troublemaker. And that's why, you know, I was, I was such an easy sell when my career started because I was in my 20s. I was, you know, good at talking, but I was on this very sellable path of feminism. And I just completely zigzied it so that no one knew what to do. And the things that were coming out of my mouth were like certainly not okay for TV. And I think it frustrated a lot

of suits. But I just, I don't know. I just can't say something that I don't believe in. And I already made peace with myself that I know my career won't go as far because of that. Or if it does, it has to be some kind of freak of nature thing that I make happen myself, which I think is possible in this climate where so many more people are self-producing, where internet content is so much more valuable. But I have to go to bed at night feeling good about myself. That's the most important thing. Yeah, you've chosen not to abandon yourself.

Yeah, I can't. For other things. Yeah. It's not, I don't even know if I, like, physically, I don't even know how to do that because being me is, like, just the most important part. of my existence. I do have to say frustrating suits is definitely a good name for something. Yeah.

I literally gave me like excitement. I was like, yes, take down the patriarchy. But I also think my biggest depressions haven't been because like something bad happened to me. It's been when I felt like I wasn't myself. Yeah. Which can be as a result of events. But I just remember thinking like all I want, not necessarily success is for me to wake up

and feel fully myself. And that is also what has given you, I think, a lot of things. And tell me about this special that you guys just put out on YouTube, like literally on Valentine's Day. Yes. What it means to you, what it represents. Give me the tea. Sure.

We called it our special day. So if I want to give you the real tea, this is an exclusive. I haven't told anyone this. Obviously, Christina knows it. But what happened was my, an ex of mine, like so everything guys refucked related is so just circling around me being petty towards exes, which I do love. But what happened was I, my ex, many, it's many exes ago at this point, but like a pretty important one was getting married. And I wanted to

overshadow his wedding with a comedy special. So that was the original idea for it. But then COVID it happened and he got married during that and things were happening too slowly for us to get the special done with COVID, you know, rules in venues because stand-up comedy shut down. But Christine and I kind of like thought about what the notion of having a special day really meant and we thought the wedding theme was still fitting. And so many young women especially think of like the most important day or the day that we look forward to is the day that we get married. And I just didn't feel that way. Like, petty aside, I truly don't feel that way. Like, I wasn't jealous of people getting married. That's

not what I want to do. I would never think that that was the most important day of my life. And I'm not against marriage or anything like that. And so my career has always been my baby. And we thought that having a special, doing a comedy special, this was a dream we've had so long. so that was our version of a special day and we just kind of wanted to reinterpret what a special day looks like for women who think differently than the rest of society and that's it and it's like totally no shade like we're in wedding dresses in in part of it we get married to each other you're not saying it's everyone's special day you're saying this is my special day this is ours yeah exactly because I think sometimes feminism does a misstep and they end up shitting on people who get married

have children want to be a housewife nothing wrong with with that. Nothing wrong with that as long as it's what you really in your heart want to do because that's all you can ask from anybody. And also I do argue that the world will be a better place if we were all being true to ourselves. Because that's why people are like rude and mad and in a bad mood and jealous. Yeah. And I directed it too, which is really cool. It's like kind of my first big big directing project because I do have a BFA in directing and I wanted to get back into that. So I was very excited to do that. I do think some of the best creatives are ones who have equal knowledge behind the camera because you i feel like really have more

control and do better in front of the camera when you have that like bigger scope in your head instead of kind of feeling like a puppet yeah so knowing that you were behind all of it makes it feel like even more intimate and a special day yeah and as someone who is randomly getting married i love I love that you brought it up because I've been dealing with stress of like how excited people are for this day where I don't equally feel I don't feel like it's the biggest accomplishment by I literally when I got engaged cried to my mom and I was like this is the thing I've worked the least in my life yeah like it just happened like I have other things that I'm like really fucking proud of this just happens to be like I made a really nice connection with someone sure and that's awesome yeah But back then, it's like, women are now being given from their father to someone new and they're starting a family and those are the most important things. And I even think it's kind of corny for me personally, like wearing a princess dress and walking down.

I'm like, oh, this is what everyone suddenly is coming together to be happy for me about. Right. Like, I see a party, but I've been battling some things with it. And I do think that normalizing that your special day can mean so many things. and it's okay it's okay if your wedding day is not what instagram wants it to look like yeah it's like you you want the relationship to be uh something that you you work on and i know that you have uh but it's kind of nice it's nice though i think it's nice that something came easy in this career that we're in when so many things are so hard to achieve i think you deserve something that comes

easily towards you and it's just it's just different because love is not yeah usually yeah Because I felt like everything that was really great, you had to work so fucking hard for. And I do think in the past with relationships, I've thought like, okay, how do I work for this? Yeah. How do I not force him, but like, how do I trick him? How do I make this work when it's like, it's not like sports or writing a script? You can't make it work. Yeah.

But even creativity you can't force. Yeah. So it was just kind of a new understanding for me of some good things happen in life just because you're being you and you're attracting the right things. I also, you mentioned like, oh, I might not go mainstream in my career, but don't you guys have some TV stuff you're working on? Yeah, we do. And that still feels so surreal to me because, uh, I mean, I think what's going to happen

is networks are going to have to loosen their collars a little bit because we live in a world of making your own content and podcasting and everyone's going to have something that would be unacceptable for, you know, television consumption. and corporate sponsors, everyone's going to have something like that. Just like, you know, in the future, every president's going to have a photo of them smoking a blunt. Like, it's just, we're just going to have to progress as a society. Yeah, and I mean, you know, Fox wanted to announce it.

I felt like it was a little premature, but that's just because I'm jaded by this industry. And I've gone through so many TV deals with true TV and lifetime and things that you, you know, the public never knew about because they never ended up happening, even though Christina and myself had put so much work into them. um so i mean this is further ahead than those things but yeah it's a tv show based on guys we fucked which is you know definitely the dream i'm so excited i love i love writing scripts and it's so nice to work in like a formal writer setting again um but we'll see i mean it's it we we thought someone would buy it but the fact that a network bought it and not a streaming service like blew

my mind um and you know sometimes people are like oh fox like you're working for fox it's like number one there's like four corporations that own everything so chill the fuck out um and then number two uh i think being like a heterosexual white woman is kind of boring to most people so it makes sense that fox bought it because that's the only network where it's still edgy you know like to be a woman on fox is like ooh it's like oh they voted for Biden both of them this is crazy let's get this on the air some diversity on fox yes but i I also want some advice on in this long career that you and Christina have cultivated and having these behind the scenes rejections, how have you stayed positive and not just been like,

fuck, like this is not meant to be. And I've put my all into it and I feel done. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think constantly creating my own content in conjunction with playing by the rules has been really nice. And I think if I hadn't been doing my own stuff and I hadn't already proven to myself that I do have something that people want to listen to and I can make art that people want to intake, that would have been a lot harder. But also I've been in this business for so long. Like I've been in the entertainment business behind the scenes. Like I started in management and casting and stuff like that.

So I've been in it since I was like 17 years old. So I just am so familiar with rejection. I've seen way, way, way bigger names than me get rejected time after time for TV shows. So I'm comfortable with the level of rejection. Like I worked for five years in talent management as an assistant and then a junior talent manager. So I knew I knew first or I guess secondhand how difficult the TV process was. It's literally easier to get a feature film made for people listening.

Like a TV show is the hardest thing to get made. and even this current TV show that was just announced we've been working on this for like five years I'm like it's gonna be old it's gonna be like a show about old ladies who are going like fucking at a senior citizen's home at this point you know I love I love that they're like putting so much care into the show like I'm like guys TikTok like how old do you want me to be on this show oh my god that is so funny it's the golden girls yeah it's the golden girls reboot at this point because I don't know. I'm obsessed.

Also, I have to just admire your very long-term business partnership with Christina because regardless how nice or cool anyone is, friendships, especially with business, is fucking complicated. Do you have any advice for not murdering your partner? Yeah, no, it is difficult. And I, Christine and I always openly say, It's the most of, not most difficult. It's the, it's the relationship that we've worked on the most. And I think, you know, that speaks, you know, that's a reflection of who I am because I really do.

It would kill me if I didn't have success in my career. But if I never, like, found a true love, I'd be okay with that. And that sounds like such a sad thing to say, but like, it doesn't make me sad to say it out loud. So Christina and I, yeah, it's definitely the relationship that I've put the most work into because I care the most about my career. And I think just as an adult acknowledging, like, you know, we all have one thing that's most important for some people it's family, for some people it's love, for some people it's career. And for me, it's definitely career. And sometimes, like, you feel shame as a woman for being like, no, I want to be successful. Like, that's the most important thing to me. Like, there's not complexity or depth, depth to that. But I think specifically for women even more so than men, that there's a lot of depth and complexity to that because we haven't seen it as many times before. And there is, such a stigma to it um so things that we do i mean i think like you know we were friends before we were business partners even though we met in a business capacity because she was my intern um at a talent management company that's how we initially met uh but i think like yeah taking time for the

friendship where you don't talk about the business where you go out every now and then and you just like remember that your friends the same as you know an old married couple would go out on a date night and just be like remember that we are in love and like we're more than a married couple just cohabitating um and then really like you know we try to like email business and text personal just to like so that when I like see a text from her come in I don't think of it as work I don't go oh no something else um so that's like a really simple thing and then uh I mean separately going to therapy I think is probably good uh and like having some boundaries between it's like we have the same agents but we don't have the same managers and that was something that

I fought for early in the game because I had come from the world of management and I know that like a manager is more like a member of your family or a really close friend so I thought that if we both have the same really close friend how can we ever have separate careers because obviously guys we fucked is huge it's an important part of us but we have different career aspirations ultimately you know I want to write and direct and Christina is more into acting. So, you know, we just want to make sure that we have someone who really is only thinking about us as an individual rather than like the guys we fuck girls, which is how so many people think of us.

You're the only ones that know your long-term visions that are obviously going to be different because you are individuals, which makes the show good. If you're two the same people, it would be fucking boring. Right. And also it is relationships, whether it's romantic business or friendships do involve a lot of the same things like if you're not communicating yeah that shit will come out like i'm in giggly squad with my friend page who we've met in reality tv we've since like evolved yeah and if there's something going on between us it will come out awkwardly if we have not worked through it sure and it's awkward

but like if we want giggly squad to be successful if i'm annoyed at something i have to tell her which normally you just be oh fuck this person she doesn't understand me but in this it's like you actually have to fight for this to work. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes it feels weird that like, oh, am I fighting for this friendship

because of money? But I don't think of it as all. Like, and I can honestly say I genuinely still love Christina after all these years. I like her. I am happy to spend time with her outside of guys we fucked.

And I do consider her still, you know, one of my closest friends. But she's not my best friend. And I think that's also important. How is your love life right now? I have a boyfriend. We've been dating since mid-August. Is he the young, hot one?

He's the young hot one, yes. His name is Dylan. He's 24. I'm 36. And yeah, we, I don't know. In the past several years, I've been kind of like going through boyfriends pretty quickly, but I think that's just because I've learned what I like and what I don't like. And also I don't have like a specific goal with dating. Like, I don't have a goal of, like I want to get married. I want to live together. I want to have kids.

None of those are goals for me. So I've kind of stopped thinking of dating so seriously and goal oriented, which is how I live the rest of my life. And I just thought, think of it as like, I want to spend fun time with interesting people. And that's what I've been doing. And so I've just been like, I went from like a 46 year old guy to a 24 year old guy. I dated someone in a band. I dated, you know, comedians.

I just do kind of whatever I want to do. try to keep it light um but you know if anything gets serious i don't know Dylan would probably be like oh this is a serious relationship but that's the you know that's because he's 24 so i think his longest relationship was like a mom it was literally a snapchat score yeah i i do think that everyone is mirrors so it's like you're learning so much about yourself like getting these different mirrors that you're experiencing yeah and i think in all aspects of your life it's so easy to be goal oriented like if you're just goal oriented with comedy you'll be fucking miserable yeah like even if you're just goal oriented with your set you'll be miserable so it's it's nice that it sounds

like you're just enjoying the journey in the moment right now yeah I I just had to because this is you know this is someone who asked me out who literally when he texted me texted me if I wanted to go on a date I thought he was like a joking like I was like I literally said do you know how old I am I think that was my response to do you want to go on a date i just it just was like hard for me to process um you know I don't think on myself as old or you know unattractive or any of these things but emotionally you're like I'm wise bitch like I just like I don't see like how this would be fun for you really you know um you're like I'm gonna call you out in your shit yeah but he was pretty pretty adamant about it and I do I do try to you know if someone asked me out and

I don't think badly of them. I try to give everyone like a one date shot. I don't know. That's just a rule I created a long time ago because I think sometimes when we have so many prerequisites for who someone has to be, we're really shooting ourselves in the foot. And I always saw that before.

And then there's like a book, what is it called? Calling in the One, I think is the title of it. And that is basically one of the main points in that book is that your soulmate, it probably doesn't look the way you imagine them in your head. So we can often know our soulmate for years or pass by them or be connected to them and miss them a lot of times before we become self-actualized and are ready for them. So I try to always remember that and be like, okay, this person doesn't look like how I imagined or maybe isn't the age I imagined or the occupation.

But, you know, they're a human being and they deserve a chance as long as they haven't done anything terrible so that is so interesting because i had a psychic tell me your person's walking towards you but he's not how you imagined him oh interesting oh no like is he short which is so funny because i love your jokes about however was dating tall guys but i was like oh no like what does that mean but it meant like he was a great-haired 45 year old and not like a 32 year old like athlete or something right no thank you but i believe in that so much can you explain a little deeper what self what you mean by self-actualizing. So I think it's like before you've done all the work that you need to do on you

or come to a place where you would be, where you're more comfortable with being accepted and being loved than you, then you are, then you're more comfortable with that than you are about caring what other people think. Because I think a lot of times like presentation matters when you're coupling up. And even if you're attracted to someone, you go, but how will society or my friends or my friends or my. family look at me if this is the person I bring home whether it be how they look like what

they do for a living you know their political thoughts like there's so many things like that that I feel like maybe we don't have these barriers up but someone in our life or in our vicinity does and that will stop us from meeting who we need to meet what happened to me I think I self-actualized when I have been with guys who have had every single thing that's a wanted for me, whether it was their looks or their career or anything, but then deep inside I was melting. I was feeling empty. So it's like, okay, that's clearly not the answer because I've done it and I've tested it and it was negative. The results came back in. The results came back and no, thank you. I want to go a little darker. How's your anxiety? How's your depression?

How's your mental health day to day right now? I mean, not great. I don't have clinical depression but I have certainly situational depression like I mean not you know hello news alert everyone does but uh and I've just like I could sad sometimes it's crazy I've experienced a lot of death in the past like three to four years just like death has been all around me um and lost so I like went through a really dramatic breakup with you know the person I've felt closest to in my entire life and then after that I was dating someone who I felt like I could have that same level of connection with and he died and then my grandfather died and then my dad got really sick and forgot who I was from brain damage and then he died so it's just like there's just been an excess of loss especially with important male figures in my life in the past three years so it just feels like every time I recover I get punched again um and I like out of all the thing like I don't like I don't handle loss well I mean not that anyone's like fucking nail it but uh yes I want

to know he like this is my this is my forte I'm great at this is my thing um I think it's just there's so few people that I feel connected to and to lose so many of them uh so swiftly um And I guess for them to be all men and not like, you know, having it divvied up amongst men and women, it was just a very difficult time. I never really, I have an anxiety disorder. I have obsessive compulsive disorder, but it never manifested in me in the more typical ways that we feel anxiety until like the past year. Like once my dad got sick, my anxiety was like all time high where I would actually feel it in my chest. Like I never had that before, even though I had like little twitches or rituals I had to do through OCD. I never had this like daily weight of anxiety on my chest.

I clench my jaw so wildly now that I wake up with like just massive pain in my cheeks. Like I definitely need to get a mouth guard or something and I've been doing like all kinds of things. Not sexy but helpful. No, I know. Like, you know it's bad when you don't even say anything and the dentist can like, she could tell from the muscles in my cheeks that I've was doing it and then also obviously looking at my teeth she's like are you like and i didn't even know i was doing it and she was like pay attention to your jaw during the day and then as soon as she said it i was like fuck like i am clenching my jaw non-s i'm a grinder too like like welded shut so bad so

bad she's like you are very strong in the nowhere else but in the in the in the jaw you're crushing it you're d1 athlete i i am so sorry for those losses and it's also crazy and it's also when it happens in such a quick amount of time because you almost haven't even processed the first trauma when another trauma comes right um how does how does your OCD manifest itself or how does it show itself typically um the rituals like you know clicking and touching things and stuff like that that I was you know I've had this since I was like I mean I'm self diagnosed since like middle school because I just knew I was doing weird shit and I basically like got a book out of the library because I was like this isn't normal and then I figured out what it was and I think we were talking about labels earlier and I think

while labeling people sometimes is not helpful labeling something like that like a disorder can be very helpful and so once I knew what it was that I was doing it was a rather common thing and there was ways to resolve that I started working towards that so now it manifests more in the obsessions which is a lot harder to get rid of because you're not catching yourself you know I can't catch myself you know is easily like I can see myself tapping or flicking a light switch or playing with the volume on my phone like those are all things that kind of I find like anxiety inducing um but when you're ruminating over something in your brain quietly no one can see it no one can point it out a lot of times it's like

is this something that I should be thinking about or is this my OCD speaking and so it's a constant process of like differentiating those two things sometimes I'll literally just call another friend with OCD and be like, is this an OCD thought or is this a regular thought, you know? Well, it's interesting because we both like addicts and the only thing I'm really addicted to is certain thoughts. Like, I will get in thought spirals. Interesting.

And it's not all. And you have that addicted feeling where you're like, oh, let's talk about it. Or like, oh, let me, let me think deeper about this. Even though you know the thought is probably like not true or potentially like harmful to you or just like literally unnecessary anxiety that you're just kind of. need to attach to yeah are you taking any like what is your coping mechanisms for the OCD um I got into uh my therapist taught me about tapping which I don't even know she like literally just sent me it she's like have you ever heard of tapping and like it's just like a YouTube video of

like people when they have anxiety like literally tapping different like pressure points on their body and I don't know if it's the tapping itself or if it's the fact that you're stopping your your obsessive thought to do another ritual that is not harmful to like kind of break it up to tell your brain oh I'm back in this reality I don't know which part of it is helpful but I do find that very helpful and it really like brings the stress and anxiety levels down almost immediately I think it's just kind of like it's like almost like snapping your fingers in your mind and being like we need to get off of that thought think of something else recalibrate come back and it's a better sense to like be in which is just like a current feeling of like skin to skin yeah did you that sounded

sexual did do you take any meds i don't i don't think it's it's never been so overwhelming i mean like you watch like those old MTV documentaries yeah people are like three hours late to events because they can't stop what uh wiping their ass and like it is not anything close to like that for me so I didn't feel I've never felt it necessary I just have to really stay on top of you know other methods of easing the anxiety I mean the anxiety has been super overwhelming this year but that's because you know yeah I think you know it's situational yeah I don't need to medicate because my dad die you don't want to numb anything like we're really scared of numbing things you're like I need to feel it and express it yeah

and I'm not scared of medication I actually do really well on medication because I have like a I'm like insulin resistant I have a lot of like health problems in that respect and I have done really well with medication um but yeah I haven't felt it and like it's something I've definitely like discussed with my therapist and stuff and no one has ever said like I think you would benefit from it so right now we're just working around it you know and like doing you know meditating long bath stuff like that that you often don't find a time for is helpful so I've tried to do some of that I think it's time to get a little darker okay I think it's Time to play The Seven Deadly Sins.

Uh-oh. Seven Deadly Sins. You're very comfortable in hell so far, but let's see what happens. What are you greedy about? What am I greedy about? Like, friendships. I hate when my friends become friends with other friends. Most people like that, I hate that.

I hate that. I purposely don't introduce people even if I think they'll get along because I go that's my fucking friend and we can't all have the same friends it drives me nuts that is so funny i like get off on connecting like people romantically or whatever because i enjoy more being like i take credit for this than having to hang out with people you know what i mean like i'm like yeah i'm not like i remember this couple i hooked up they were like can you come hang out with us and i'm like no but you can thank me the fact that you're even hanging out right exactly they have nothing to say who who are you envious of oh my gosh um i'm trying to think i don't know i was

going to say like greta thunberg but it's only because she's young and she's doing so much i guess it's just like young people who like really got their shit together way sooner than i did like i didn't even start stand up until i was 25 so like the fact that she's you know talking to the world about climate change at like 16 i'm like god damn it you really have your stuff together their Thunberg. I do think with social media, you're way more aware of people's timelines in their careers than you should be. Like, our brains can't really handle that. But I also just Mike Feeney told me the best quote, and I've said it so many times in this podcast, but he was like, we are like popcorn, even though it's the same temperature, we're all popping at different times.

And I also tell myself that people who blow up when they're young are never going to have that high again. So sorry. That's a good point. That's why I tell people not to do drugs early on, because I go, I was like, it's not really like the addiction. It's like, what are you going to use when times get really tough? We're going to go from there, you know? That's my thought. But then I'm also like, I don't want to try hard drugs now because I'm like, oh, now I like hard drugs at 30.

Like I feel like it's like a drug until I was 30. That's a fun fact about me. First drug, 30 years old. I've never done cocaine before just because I feel like I don't need cocaine and I'm scared that I'll like cocaine at 30. And then like my friends are like, we stop doing. that at 28 and you want to go in a Coke bender at 32 calm down um no I agree with you I always say I've never done Coke either because I know I would love it like I drink a latte before this

podcast and in my head I'm thinking like oh I hope her listeners can understand what I'm saying because I already speak quickly and then with a latte in me I mean they're gonna I literally just had a latte too and I was like I hope them not too much with this latte because people can slow it down if they need to because we're both on the same latte speed yes our subtle dose of caffeine people often say when they're listening to guys we fucked they're like yeah i had to look down and check to make sure i didn't hit the like two times speed button because you were talking so fast and i was like no this is like my normal we are so on the same wavelengths right now from the subtle espresso shot but it's like i'm gonna be off the walls even before it you guys have

to listen to my episode on guys we fucked um i thought i was like i'm gonna be insane on this pot i just had a peppermint latte i'm gonna they're not gonna be able to handle all this all the tea I'm about to talk it was a great episode thank you when was the last time you experience extreme wrath or anger how's your control of anger um anger is actually the feeling i probably feel the least which like knowing my personality i think would be um surprising to people because i think i come off as an angry person um but i'm not i'm really not angry at any i haven't been angry in such a long time because i don't have like really a lot of resentment towards anyone um and i except yeah for like every now and then an ex will

really fucking send me off the wall um but i like sadness is the feeling is like the feeling that i have to grapple with the most i also want to know because you've dated comics before do you have any advice for dating within your work and not like fucking it up even though you like to be petty oh god because that is a thin fucking line yeah yeah and you're going to write jokes about them because there must be moments that you want to be like I want to throw this person under the bus but then you're like is that right long term especially when we're in a male dominated industry where like the men could easily boys club you out oh for sure I was I mean there was a time when I was literally saying and spelling my ex's name on stage and it definitely got back to him and I don't care um I was like okay because the thing you're like I wish I knew his social security the fucked up thing is that though, and I don't know if people know this, but I've, you know, how to study the law at several instances throughout my career because I love getting myself in trouble.

So, you know, I have a litigator on speed dial, but I, when you're a public person, so when you're dating a comic, the good thing is, like, you can air your dirty laundry with a lot less worry than if you were dating a private person, because when we opt to to become comedians, we opt to become public people. And in America, as long as it's not slander, you can talk about all these things. publicly, things that you can't say about private people. So that is a perk of dating someone in the industry. So like if you want to ruin someone's life, go for the public ones.

Yeah, and I've never said. You won't be in jail. Yeah, it's fun. Does slander mean it has to be a lie? Yeah, yeah. Like slander defamation are in the same family. So, but it's hard because like once you've said it, like the only thing you could, you can never take back, you know, that.

So like, that's why slander is. damaging because once it gets out into the world, it's so hard to retract something, even if it is a lie. And so that's why the only compensation is monetary. And for a lot of people, like, obviously ruining your life is not worth any amount of money or having people think something heinous that is not true is not worth it. Yeah. Recently, I've been navigating these like blind items accounts where like people will be hinting towards like a reality TV star, whatever, like, they recently was one saying that like does and i broke up and like obviously it was not true but then like it's still affected like and went around the press cycle and then i saw that on

ticot Hannah and i was so worried dude and then people started a rumor that i started it and saying like she loves attention and i'm like i'm in verizon fighting with customer service right now leave me out of this but it's like they didn't say your name yeah or like or they did but it was like allegedly and you're just like god damn it so it's part of our industry that people will say shit about you um okay sorry that was just me going into my own no no no i i'm glad you mentioned that because i was like i was like i then had to like go to your instagram make sure everything was okay because i was concerned but it's funny because my instagram like i haven't been posting him because like i did a little reality tv with him and then like i wanted to protect him for a bit yeah

because, like, I just, we gave our all in the public eye for a second. Now I'm like, okay, we gave it. And now we want to take a second to relax. And that's true love, like you wanting to protect him. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, you learn certain things are fun, but you ask yourself, why do I want to make this public?

Like, why do I want to post this about him right now? Sure. And if you, if you've had negativity around it before, you're like, I'd rather just post a stupid tweet. Yeah. When was the last time you were lazy or a sloth? Oh, gosh. I mean, I hate laziness.

Like, I've actually, like, had roommates that were lazy and I had to move out because I couldn't handle even being around someone else's laziness. I guess I was lazy in January because my grief was so overwhelming in January. But I don't know if, like, grief and being lazy because of grief is the same as just, like, being lazy. So it's hard. I feel like people with anxiety could be super lazy because you're so tired from your mind running for hours. But then you look at them and you're like, you haven't done shit in a while, but you can't see that they're exhausted emotionally.

Yeah. Because like even during quarantine, like I, I just concentrated on fun, which is literally the number one thing I work on in therapy, which is so funny and such a testament to my personality because I, you know, like I briefed my therapist when I first met her on what was going on in my life. And she was like, we're going to, we're going to work. mostly on you enjoying things and I was like hmm is that this feels like possibly worse I need that I need that wait you're like but what what do I get out of it she's like fun and you're like but what

why do people have fun like yeah I'm planning a bachelor at party okay and I'm good at like planning anything for work anything productive anything that makes me feel career driven and I'm like wait how do you plan just for people to have fun yeah yeah like other people too how is it's to take me to the next level. Do I win an award? Is there someone who's going to have the most fun and we're going to crown them? Like, what's happening here? Does someone win the bachelorette party? Like, what's happening? You should do that, Hadda. You should have someone win the bachelor party because that's like, that's you. You want to make your, your bachelor party is all about you. That's beautiful. Well, I was joking. The thing that's fun for me was to get some of my girly friends and like put them on a farm and make them like feed animals and just laugh at them. But I was like, oh, that's not fun for everyone. So I'm like, I was like, fuck it. I'm going to Miami. But for me fun is like, like, creating content. So I'm honestly going to force everyone to make TikToks with me, which is some people's nightmare. But like I have really funny TikTok ideas for everyone. And I think we're going to do it. But yeah, it's so funny when you think like everyone is a different perception of fun. And I'm actually like very bad at having fun. Because I think I'm weird. Yeah. What makes what I think

is fun is not the typical. Like I'm the person at the party that goes in the bathroom looks at the mirror and I'm like, what am I doing here? What are we celebrating? Oh yeah. I love. I've hidden in hampers that party is before I just can't I'll find I'll find the guest bathroom you can find me in the corner with a dog often like I parties are difficult for me or you find the one other person that looks like they're not enjoying it and I'm like oh this is going to be fun let's talk shit and be like and it's weird because party you can like sense the other person with the same energy of like why are we here and I kind of want to be at home and how do we get out of here um escape plan oh okay this is a tough one when this last time you let your ego get in the way of something

where it actually like hindered you or you self-sabotage yourself i think well i think relationship wise my ego is always getting in the way because i have a really hard time being vulnerable and so like even if i need someone or like need support i can't admit that i do only in a relationship like i can admit that i need help like with work or something that's fine that doesn't bother me at all. But I think like I've gone so far in the other direction with like not needing not needing any extra support in my private life that sometimes I don't ask for it now when I do. Yeah. It's almost like you want to prevent codependency. Yeah. Oh God. I'm really sensitive to that. And I've seen so many of my friends get into these codependent relationships and

I just never want to be that way. And also like I've gotten. I've gone through two, like, really heinous breakups in my life. And so I think, you know, part of you goes on the defense and you go, well, I can never get that close to someone again because they're just, like, they could, they could leave me. And honestly, like the pain of them leaving hurts so much more. Ooh, yeah. Yeah. But I ultimately, I feel like you could put the biggest wall up.

Right. And the right person will eventually break it down. Yeah. Yeah. And I agree. And I'm not like someone who's like, I'm not open to love anymore. But I know I'm difficult to date for sure because. Sometimes, like, getting communication out of me is, like, really, really difficult, which is wild because I speak literally for a living.

But when I get home, I'm tired talking, you know? That is so funny. Well, I used humor to cope. So they were like, can you be serious? And I'm like, can you be serious? When was, oh, okay. I know that you lusted over your boyfriend, but I want to know who is the last time you lusted over, like, celebrity wise? you have a celebrity crush or someone yeah celeb crush so i guess my like my like my all-time celebrity

crush is tim curry um but he's it you know he's you know if you google him he's very old he had a stroke he's in a wheelchair still a hottie still would do it still we love a zaddy we love a daddy yeah oh i don't eat curry yes i also think he might he's definitely at least bisexual and he honestly probably might be gay so i know he's never really like been forthcoming about that i think he had a maybe like a little rendezvous with Madeleine Khan on the set of Clue or at one point in his life. And, you know, we do share a birthday, Madeline and I. So obviously maybe that was meant to be. But like recently, I would say I'm obsessed with the Scott Patterson, who is the actor who plays Luke on Gilmore Girls.

I see that. I see that for sure. Like I love a blue collar Zaddy. someone who like just like works you know works maybe you're balding but you can put a cap over it you get your hands are rough and like it kind of hurts when you initially touch me but then like I I grow to love it um oh yeah you've thought this through yeah and then and then pen badgely just like him being on you reminded me how much I loved him on gossip girl and how obsessed I was with him and how hot he is to the point where like I researched his wife I've listened to her music on

Spotify and then I'm like, wait, am I now on you? Like, Emma, have I become, in my lust for Penn Badgley, have I become Pen Badgley's character on you? And it was very meta. So meta. Do you like how he's evolved? Like, who would you rather fuck Pen Badgley on you or Pen Badgley Gossip Girl? On you? Because it's like, he's someone who like, oh, I thought you couldn't get any hotter and then you got way hotter. And also I love the longer, the luscious locks. Like I love kind of like the curly hair. dark hair love that on a man oh the way he loves even though it ends in a bloody murder is so arousing like like wear my skin that's what we need oh my god absolutely absolutely corin you're so fucking

hilarious final question for you oh gosh okay what advice would you give the little devils on what to do to cope with your hell when you're at your darkest time how do you survive i mean as a comedian it has to be it has to be like laughter and i know a lot of people say that like jokes like humor is the best medicine all this kind of stuff but i really feel that i feel like i have um a little bit more concrete proof after spending a year in hospice with my father because let me tell you this man had brain injury could not remember for the longest time who literally he couldn't remember his life he couldn't remember his memories he couldn't remember his wife is you know any of these things but the one thing that remained true and kind of like just kind of let me know that as a comedian

and I was doing something meaningful for the world was that his sense of humor remained intact the entire time. Cracking jokes, cracking jokes to the nurses, to me being funny. And it was his same sense of humor. And I was like,

that really speaks to how powerful humor is. If it can survive all of that, it can survive cardiac arrest two times, it can survive brain injury and memory loss. Like, it can get you through anything. And I mean, the the moments of relief that my family and I had were when I was making the most fucked up jokes like even this Christmas after um my dad was the first Christmas without my dad

and at one point just like my brother or like my mom was making us play this like really annoying game that her coworker had given us given us over and over again and I was like I am so jealous of dad right now and we just all died laughing like and it was in my head right before I said it you know when you're about to say a fucked up joke And then you're like, I'm going to take the leap. And this could ruin Christmas. But I love making people laugh so much that if it popped, I knew it was going to pop hard. And it would be worth risky ruining Christmas.

High risk, high reward. Yes. Yes. Oh my God. Corinne, that is so fucked up. It's so beautiful. Where can people listen to you, watch you, follow you, give me the goods. Yeah, absolutely.

I'm on all social media, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok are the primary ones at Philanthropy gal. because no one can spell my name right. So it's philanthropy gal. And then most importantly, our special day, Christina Hutchinson and my full-length comedy special is available for free at YouTube.com slash guys we fucked without the you and fucked.

We both do stand-up. We do this really cool segment called Seven Minutes in Therapy. We do sexting theater. And I directed it, as I said, and we're really, really proud of it. And then, of course, the OG Guys We Fucked podcast, which is now available everywhere you listen to podcasts for free we put clips on tic-tok at guys we fucked and uh yeah i'm i'm i'm findable like honestly if you want to murder me like it's you can

you can do it you're like it's very easy it's very easy i'm here hit me up um if you guys love burning in hell there's no way you're not going to love everything that corin does thank you so much for coming to hell today and we'll talk to you later slats bye Oh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.