Berner Phone - Danny LoPriore: Trauma Dumping & Mental Hospitals

Episode Date: August 14, 2022

Danny LoPriore was a Vine star who has created a whole career out of making people laugh. He opens up about his darkest mental health struggles and how he dug himself out of that time to be better than ever. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's up, guys, we're in hell. What's up, guys? We're in hell, and I'm so excited for this episode. He's like, he was a Vine star. Now he's kind of like a star in every sense of every platform. He talks about tities a lot. He's an Italian, Puerto Rican stud. Danny Lopiori

That was good That wasn't bad It wasn't great I wasn't confident in the last name I just have The thing with Italian last names Is that you have to say like an asshole Yeah

You know if you don't say like an asshole You're not really saying it right Lo priori I am famously Mispronounced Teresa Judeyce's last name Yes Like I just didn't even ask her

I just was like I'm Italian And I was like Judici and she's like What'd you call me? What'd you call me? me and like because it gets Americanized it gets changed of course of course it goes through Ellis Island there's all the shit that happened there's a lot see my family didn't come through Ellis Island we weren't cool enough my grandfather had to come through a Canada yeah so it was like

weird and then he got on the wrong train and like it went the other way and then he had to like come back to America again it was a whole thing he was like it's getting colder yeah so he came he came to America after World War II and when he got here he was like oh man like I guess I got to get married then he married my grandma

and then they had a bunch of kids and then they had us and now we're all depressed and that's how depression starts that's how depression starts you have an immigrant that comes here with nothing and they're upset because they provide for their children you know and then they get upset

like you guys don't know what it took for me to get here. Yep. And then you're like, I have anxiety. And they're like, I almost died in Canada trying to get across the border for you. You have anxiety over what? Well, that's a funny story. Over what?

Ammon milk? Yeah, pretty much. And then my parent, like, he was like a real estate guy. He's like, why didn't you like work at the family business? You know what I mean? Like, you barely spoke English and shit. And then he was here and my dad didn't really want to do that. My dad was like kind of a hippie.

Yeah. Played like college basketball. but like had like the long hair wasn't a war guy like he got drafted in the Vietnam and was like I don't want to kill anyone yeah so like they had the my my grandfather didn't like

each of his kids at a certain point in their life like he disowned them he he would disown one of them like every like five years wait that is so Sicilian of him yeah yeah it is and then and then my and then you're Italian too right

yeah I'm half Italian You're half Sicilian, right? Yeah, I'm half Sicilian. Well, actually, a quarter Sicilian, a quarter Naples. Okay. But it's like all dirty south. Napolitan. Yeah, Napolitan.

It's all mafia. Yeah, it's all mafia. I'm Bahre's. I'm from Puyah. What is that? That's like southern Italy. Okay. You should go there.

I would love to. It's beautiful. I'm going there on my honeymoon. This is like the most New York conversation. I know. But how did the, because I knew that the Sicilians, the fact that my Sicilian Nana hooked up with my Napolitano, Papa, they were almost like discriminatory against other places. Oh, the north and south, the north, northern Italians and southern Italians don't really like,

they don't fuck with each other. Yeah. You know what I mean? Southern Italians were the, we're the darker Italians. Italy cracks, yeah, Italy cracks me up because like they're just always, I feel like they don't do full wars. They just kind of like let everyone conquer them or they like kind of fight with each other. Pretty much.

It's pretty disorganized. See, I have so much Italian pride and then I remember world. World War II. I don't do history. And then I was like, oh yeah, Mussolini was a thing. I forgot. But also, like, I feel like all the Eastern, the European countries had a moment. Yeah, yeah.

Listen, America's had its moments. Everyone had a short, angry man at one point. For sure. Get a little power hungry. Yeah. And America's had its moments, too. I don't want to let America off the hook or anything. But for the most part, America's been pretty good.

The one great thing that America is good at is like, hey, we're going to fight you, but we're going to do it at your house. I do, yeah, I do love it. Or we'll be like, you know, we're going to fight. you because we're helping someone else oh yeah that's the other thing too but now i feel like we're like the weird kid that like still thinks they're popular and everyone's like just don't make eye contact yes just don't make contact with them like uh you almost don't invite them over but they somehow end up at your party anyway it's like they went to camp and came back just like kind

of different yeah yeah just treat them the same but don't invite them yeah you know you don't want them to be uh you don't want them to end up being your best friend but they're in your friend it's like be nice to them because you don't know one day they could snap yeah it's America is definitely that friend that everyone talks shit about when they're not there yeah because I'm with an Irish guy and he's like we literally just legalized abortion like 10 years ago wow and now because they were very religious Ireland actually I might have made that up no no I think I think Irish people are very religious Irish Catholic I know in my husband's lifetime they've made it legal so it's like weird watching this has become a history podcast we

never done this before has the does he ever like dress up in like a three piece of wool suit that's Scottish that's no but I feel like they do it too I mean me does he have like a great depression outfit does he just eat potatoes and cry that's my other thing too you ever see pictures of the great depression and they were like we were all poor I'm like dude you have a three piece suit on I was saying how fucking poor were you dude you're like we're not wearing sheen yeah dude you're wearing like high socks and leather shoes. I'm like, how fucking poor were you, dude? America's poor has gotten so much worse. You have four horses. How poor are you? You know,

expensive a horse? They're like, we live in shanty towns. I was like, yeah, dude, that's called the West Village. I was like, you're chilling. You're like, buy a, like, chunk of land in Tribeca and shut up. I know. I wish I did some of that. Like, you want to know, in hindsight, it's, I'd never had money to buy anything. Yeah, but also, our generation, we were past, like, there was no, like, cheap area. Like, maybe. be part of the Bronx and Queens but no yeah like it's still like it's so funny to me because like I'll have friends that live in like Williamsburg and they'll be like oh yeah like I support all these things like super like you know like liberal guys and like I'll be like you guys know you're like

gentrifying an area as you do this right so like I'll have that conversation with them I was like as long as like you don't lose like that sense that like you're building like kind of probably kicked low-income African-Americans out of their homes, as long as you keep that in the back of your head, you know, because you have to walk around with some white guilt. You can't be white guilt for. We have an environmental startup that we need a new space for. Yeah. Yeah. And then you guys turn somebody's fucking three bedroom into an apartment to a we work. You know what I mean? Like so like as long as you carry a little bit of white guilt with you. Yeah. It's, I'm cool. Once you lose your white guilt, it's, that's a scary situation. Oh, dude, a white person with no

White guilt? Jesus. Look out. As I'm Italian, Jewish, your Italian, Puerto Rican, do you have guilt? Yeah, I have some, but I don't, like, you want to know what's weird is because when you're as mixed as, like, I was, so to give you a little bit of a rundown, like, my dad's Italian family, like, didn't go to his wedding. Oh, shit. Yeah, so that, so think about it. But she was so fine.

She was fine. My dad was definitely into those brown cheeks. Yeah. He was down with the brown. So like he hooked up my mom and, you know, my mom had a kid already. So like there was a whole like bunch of stuff that like they just weren't into. Yeah. So definitely her being brown. Italians could be like old school especially. Yeah. I just don't know where Italians get off where we get off because like when we came here people used to call us horrible things. Yeah. You know? And then they were like. like oh all right someone like darker than us is in America now psychology doesn't make any sense you're treated like shit

and then you treat other people like shit because you're like oh if I treat them like shit people will treat me less like shit that's what it is yeah

so they're like no we're on your team now we're white yeah we're white too you know so it's like it's one of those things like I definitely had an identity crisis

growing up yeah so I was like you know what uh but you could you're like Italian passing

would you say I'm Italian passing but I can be very ambiguous around summer months so I've been stopped at I've been stopped at multiple airports yes oh yeah I could see you being like Middle Eastern oh yeah when my beard grows out they're like Danny Le Pradioch I'm like dude it's it's Italian stop trying to make it like an Arabic last name all right

they're like Danny Chalelayolori I'm like no I'm just like I'm an Italian Airports are fucking wild like I've heard some of the most racist stories at airports Oh, airports are still probably the most racist public places. The profiling going on. It's legal to be racist at an airport. It truly is. Yeah. And they, like, still fucking care about the shoes and, like, the laptops.

Some airports don't, have you ever been to an airport where they don't make you take your shoes off? Occasionally. I lose my fucking mind. I'm like, wait, hold up. Yeah. I'm like, well, hold up. What's going on?

Like, when did the protocol change? But I heard that they changed the protocol to, like, like keep terrorists on their toes. No pun intended. Oh. Yeah. So like we're going to switch it up. Like laptops in the bag.

You can keep one like each thing in a bin or like they switch it up so they can catch terrorists. Oh so people don't get too used to the protocol. Yes. I get that. That's interesting. Yeah. So like I had one friend that worked in TSA.

I got important people in important places. I got them. I got people everywhere. You know, that's very. I got a guy. I got a guy at TSA. hook you up. That's the most Italian part of me is that I do have a guy for everything. You know what I mean? Like I could get a guy to come like, you know, find you.

My Papa has a guy for everything. You have to. And anything from like a little tiny thing to like, oh, you want to engage in me? I got a guy in Chinatown. Oh yeah. It's like, oh, you want to make a body disappear? We could do that too. You know? Like I've grown up like later on in life. And I've like, I guess met some some people who've dabbled and, you know, organized crime or whatever. And like, cool for yeah it like they're like it's not how it used to be no you know it's very like updated and like weird now but like you know i i i feel that the italian stereotypes are going away until you see like these social media characters who like like jersey shore yeah do you think jersey shore was bad for us um i don't think jersey shore was necessarily bad for me

because i fucking loved it yeah i watched every fucking episode of jersey shore if i saw any of them I've met two of them and I was like you guys helped raise me as a kid I was 21 years old when I turned the shore was out I met

I met Ronnie once Poor Ronnie I mean not poor Ronnie Yeah no no no Ronnie's Ronnie hey Ronnie hit me up Me and you will talk Ronnie's going through some shit

You met Vinnie And I've met Vinnie Vinny Vinny is cool and like actually quite funny Yeah yeah for sure I think that show like culturally

was like a cornerstone for us if you really think about it because that was like one of the first shows like our parents had like old-ass shows like the fugitive yeah like you know like they watch that's like the show everyone would come together to watch the jersey shore there were watch parties for that oh my god i remember college doing watch parties in my dorm oh yeah because we you had to watch it when it came on jersey thursdays at 7 p.m oh my god dude what the quotable moments of that show oh for sure there's so many and then like our parents had like where were you when kennedy got

shot. But for us it's like where we were even snooky got punched in the face. Or when she wrote the letter to Ronnie. Who wrote the now? You tell. I say that shit to this day. Ronnie, why would you make fun of my big toe? That relation. Now that we watch it though

now, like if that show came out now there would be a lot more discussions on the fucking abuse that was going on. The rampant abuse. Also like the whole grenade concept would not have gone over well. Oh my yeah, just calling girls Deuces and grenades and shit

But Jenny was so funny She'd be like Wake up Snooky there's gorillas I saw I'm outside There's a bunch of shiny gorillas And then they got there and there were no gorillas I remember the episode like it was yesterday I love that show to death

So but like older Italians Older Italian Americans You know because So many Italian Americans don't speak Italian Yes Also majority of people in that show were not Italian Yeah like Ronnie's Puerto Rican I was just like, yeah, what's up, man?

No, I think the only Italian was like... Vinny. Vinny and Pauly. Remember Vinny's uncle? Who was just blackout? Yes, blackout drunk all the time. I think it, like I was talking... They would turn his mic off every now and then. I did KFC radio yesterday.

Yeah. And I wanted to ask you this question as a female, right? Oh, I'll speak for the female. Yeah, as a woman who identifies as a woman. I don't know what I have to say nowadays, so I just try to be a... Some people. hate the word female, but I haven't looked into it enough to know my opinion on it. Yeah, well, you could be like Demi Lovato and like flip-flop your pronouns every once in a while. I just saw

that. My privilege. Uh, so let's, uh, I think a lot of people think like cis boys, cis males, like have a lot of problems with like pronouns. I have no problems with pronouns whatsoever. Uh, yeah, I have a trans nephew. Yeah. So for me, my thing is I just need a little bit of time to catch up the reading. For sure. You know, I just hope that there's like a grace, like, you know, please don't jump down my throat if I'm actually like an ally, like one of the good ones. Yeah. And I do think when you get used to like that, it's plural and saying in that way. Yeah. But you're so right. When you have someone who's in your circle who is a they or has transitioned, you then feel like part of it and you accept it. But if you're only in like straight cis spaces,

like we're in a straight space right now. It's like, we don't talk about it. We're afraid to talk about it. So I do think we have to figure out how to kind of not be clicky with it and have it intertwined because we're all functioning in the same society. I just hope that it doesn't turn to a society where like we have to wear like, hello, my name is name badges. You know what I mean? So like we don't offend anybody. Yeah, you know, and the last thing I want to do is ever offend somebody. Like that's weird like me coming from like a comedy background. Yeah. Last thing I ever want to do is offend somebody. So my thing is if you come at me hot though i will come back at you hot i'll look their ass not even that i'll just

be like yeah like i'm trying to fucking understand you but you're being a fucking bitch you know like oh you know and i'm just saying i don't care what your pronoun is at this point you can be a guy or a girl bitch is is both you can call a guy a bitch you can call a girl bitch and i'm saying it right now we can call they and also on top of it we're also fight not only figuring out what gender you are but we're also fighting gender norms and gender stereotypes for like what masculinity is, what femininity is. What I'm fascinated by you is

first time I met you was in Caroline's you've a show coming up, everyone check that out, but in Caroline's Green Room and you just like immediately started trauma dumping. Yes, I'm a big trauma dumper. And I was like, that could have been such an awkward green room where like we were just small talking,

being weird on our phones, but you just started trauma dumping and I've never laughed so hard like with Joey Zintagato. And I'm like, I don't know this man, but I'm obsessed with him. Like, I love a raw trauma dump. Yeah. Like, no warning.

So there's, there's two things. And then I want to get back to the question because that was based on female. Oh, yes. But when it comes to trauma dumping, I'm a severely, I'm a severely anxious person. Yeah. So even in situations like that, I am a constant overshare. Yes. But I know that I'm doing it.

and I feel comfortable doing it because I've, like, going back to what I said earlier, I've had identity crisis in my life. So I was like, you know, I have like racism from this side and like, am I white? So like I just settled like, I'll be black for like a year, you know, when I was like 12. And I was like, every white kid at 12 years old was black at 12. Because like they played on the basketball team for like two weeks and they wore their shorts at their knees. I have three black friends. You know what I mean?

And then as you as I got older, you know, know, your brain starts to function a little better than he used to. So I was like, you know, let's just settle into just being an individual person. So, but with being an individual, you know, there's a lot of stuff as you grow that you don't realize it was very dramatic when you were a kid. Yeah, that you were coping word ways. I just remembered, I grew up in Brooklyn. I was fully Puerto Rican for middle school.

Of course. I took my hair to the side and I like plastered down with gel, put it in a ponytail, and had the biggest hoops. and I hung out with the Puerto Rican girls But you could be Latina passing though Kind of my mom is that People speak Spanish to her all the time Because she's more like olive skin

Because she's like fully Sicilian And she doesn't speak Spanish I wish I did though But anyway I'm the same way though Where I like I need to say What the elephant is in the room Like I can't be fake about it

And that makes me like who I am And it connects me with a lot of people But it also could get you in trouble Where people like why did you have to say that Oh yeah It gets me in trouble all the time Especially with my fiance podcasters. Yeah, yeah. It makes us good podcasters, but like, it makes us very weird dinner

guest. It depends on whose dinner you're at. So like, I remember there's been multiple times where like, I've been coming home with my fiance and she was like, did you have to tell that story? And I'm like, you know what? I didn't, but I'm so anxious. Being Italian, though, we are oversharers already. True. Like, we'd rather be too loud yelling over each other than like, we don't think before we speak. No, it's nonsense. Ninety-nine people. percent of the things that come out of our head are nonsense, but the 1% is so prominent, that it overshadows

the 99% of garbage. Oh, hell yeah. You know, that one percent that comes out of our mouth is going to stick with people for the rest of their lives. But you know what it is? We also have charisma, so we could say, like, dumb shit, but we have charisma. So people are like, oh, it's entertaining. Italian people just really figured it out from the beginning. They're like, oh, yeah, like,

even our racist words, like, they're going to try and make them as beautiful sounding as possible. I'm just like, guys, like, you know, who's this fucking scumada deuce over here? I'm just like, like, whoa, what the hell is that? What the hell are you talking about? And also, Italians could be like macho. And then you have the whole machismo

machismo thing with the Puerto Ricans. How do you deal with masculinity? I think that honestly, I have a very, I have the healthiest, unhealthy relationship with masculinity. Because I feel that I have traits that are toxic masculinity. You're like, I'm toxic.

No, no, I think I do. I think that I could be, I think I have possessive traits. I think I have jealousy traits. I think earlier in my life, possibly I even had traits of slut shaming, you know, because. Oh, we love this. Look at this moment. No, I just, I think, I think when it comes to masculinity, people have to be honest about points in their life where they were toxic. I hate the word toxic because it's like

It's so it's almost lost its essence But I also like it because It's not a thing where you're like I was toxic you can cancel me for that It's more like everyone's toxic And so capacities and you could say like This is a toxic trade I had Yeah

But it doesn't make me a toxic person I did toxic stuff But like even like Jersey Shore Like when we were kids We're like Stunky's a fucking slut I didn't call Stunkey's slut No but I'm just saying like How dare you?

How dare you? How dare you call Snobot? She's not. And I love Snooky. I love Snooky to death. But when in my age, I'm 21 years old. And they're portraying this woman. To me that she is like, I'll fuck anything, anywhere, anytime. So they manifested her sluttiness. Yes. They cut and edited that and gave it to us. And our little 21 year boners are going off and we're like, oh, no, yeah, just fucking girls are a little fucking crazy bit, you know? Well, also back then, especially in reality TV, it was very easy to characterize women as either like sluts, the hot one.

And that was kind of it. That's all you had. It wasn't like a funny one or like, I mean, they were. The dark horse that nobody else thought was hot, but you did. Yes. And that became an argument. Yes. She's not fucking hot.

I don't know, she's hot, dude. But also, they were fucking hysterical. Like, they carry, I mean, Paulie and Vinny, obviously. were hysterical as well but it was laugh at them but like jenny when she's like i fuck a guy and rip his head off yeah that's feminism yeah of course that's third way first way feminism yes and people i think a lot of men are challenged with the fact that a woman can be as strong if not stronger than them i recently dealt with some toxic shit where like some guy was like a comic was like oh i don't want to fuck that girl i was like why and he's like i heard she fucked a lot of

comics and first of all it wasn't true right maybe she fucked one also this is like co-workers like you see them every night you're bound to accidentally trip on a dick so i just have one question did he just say that out of nowhere i was kind of asking i was like what's the deal with this person like okay yeah yeah i kind of liked her and he was like ah i heard she like fucks a lot of comics and like first of all it's not true yeah because i was close to her i was like i know that's that's not true and even if it was like who are you fucking bro that's yeah how many people are you fucking that's what i'm saying a lot of guys like you we got to look at our dicks before we you know like talk about there's the whole concept of like the key and the lock stuff oh like you get entered and

i don't yeah like basically like you'd rather have a key that gets you into a lot of doors than a door that's easily entered by a lot of keys which is honestly some weird philosophy that doesn't really makes sense. You know how, like, you call girl sluts if they had sex with a lot of guys when realistically the girl who had a boyfriend was having way more sex? Yeah. And they were like, that girl's loose. I'm like, because she had sex with three guys in a year. Yeah, but fucking

Charlie's pounding her out three times a day. You know what I mean? Like, that girl's getting thrash, bro. Every girl's petrified of being called slut. I remember the first time I kissed the guy. I was like, I'm a hoe. I'm the town hoe. Yeah. And it's funny that you say that

is because as men, it goes back to the typical saying, he's a player if he fucks mad girls. Yeah. And now they call girls, they're calling girls homie hoppers. I love that. But I don't like it because it's like guys have been fucking a bunch of girls

in a friend group for a long time. And now that girls are able to be like, wait, I could fuck this guy's life up by fucking his best friend. They're like homie hopper. Yeah, yeah. I think what, it's homie hopper. It's also like, you could definitely tell a white person came up with that too.

right homie hopping homie hopper i'm i'm fucking the homies don't homie my hop but this girl victoria paris was talking on instagram who i had in burning hell she's amazing and she was like look i'm gonna homie hop i can't be friends with so many people like you have a friend group of 10 people and you all like each other and you all get along i'm gonna fuck one of the friends yeah why not it's called how else do me people yes but i will say though it depends on this this is this is where the toxic masculinity comes in. It depends on the severity of the relationship. But why don't you get mad at your boy? Oh, I'll get mad at my boy. Okay, good. I'm gonna get mad at my boy before I get mad at her. Yes. Because women know that the power of the vagina. You know what I mean? Well, I love

that you said the strong V. Oh yeah. I say vagina. I don't go with the P. Good. Yeah, I say vagina. Hell yeah. That's hot actually. Thank you. I say vagina. Some guys are like, blah, blah, they're so afraid to say it. No, dude. fucking all the vs down there vulva i'll say them all i don't give a fuck if there's another one i don't know i'll figure it out and say it on the next time i started these man on the street videos yesterday and i was asking guys what a vulva is it was wild i think a lot of men honestly need to go back

and and research the vagina because i think in time it will help them oh for sure you know and i think a lot of guys who have issues with women it stems from things that they've had obviously in their life either their upbringing or early relationships that didn't go their way like if a guy gets cheated on when he's 14 he's never going to fucking forget it there's so many of these dudes that I'm like okay Gretchen like broke up with you when in eighth grade get the fuck over

and stop treating women like shit well that's the thing though like a guy gets broken up with when he's 14 or 15 he turns into like fucking Christian bail from America and he's like women hurt you. Women are out here to hurt you type thing. I just don't understand. I never really understood that like the woman hate. Yeah. But I've

100% have partaken in shaming of women when it comes to like when I was younger being like, this girl is a lot, this girl's this. I mean, let's be honest, women shame women equally as much. Oh yeah, women go women go harder on women. I mean, the most hate I get online is from other women. Yeah, because women are tactical.

men are as as a moat because people this is like men will be like do you shower and then women will come up with like an in depth analysis of of my toxic traits and personality they'll just be like your bicuspid is like off kilter you know it's like god damn the bitch is right men will be like ugly and women will be like

you think you're funny but you're just overcompensating and you're thirsty I'm like ah it's like bitch your face isn't even symmetrical you know what I mean like day that you're like maybe put some lip gloss on every now and then because you're flaky as fuck and I'm like oh my god like I am dehydrated your cracky ass lips I'm just like damn bro men would just be like women aren't funny and I'm like gay you know what I mean you it's like that would be like the first thing like I have this bit where like I talk about like

if dudes got pregnant right and then uh if they if they if they told their friends they would only be afraid they'd be afraid to tell their friends they're pregnant because their friends would think they were gay. And she'd be like, yeah, I was just with this girl the other night. Like, you know, whatever. She got me pregnant. And she'd be like, damn, dude. Like, you're pregnant?

That's so gay. Or I just envision them being like, look how big my bump is. Yeah, yeah. Big ass bump. Oh, cute bump. Look how big my shit is. Just feel like, damn, dude. Like, damn, dude.

You let her finish it. Measure my shit. You know, I'm taking up space. God damn, bro. You're pregnant as fuck, dude. Like, just like body shaming like dudes. Somehow pregnant women still try to not take up space. You ever see these girls online who have two abs on top of their bump?

Yeah. That makes me upset. That makes me upset. And I also hate when like celebrities have children and then like a month after they have the child like they're in an Avengers movie. I'm just like how the fuck this is working. I know how it works. They can afford the best people in the world. But it's just like my I hope I never reach a level celebrity that.

high because I'm already like I like to live beyond my means already you know what I mean so like if I become that famous like it won't be a good thing it won't be a good thing I'll own like I'll buy like small islands and like only put parrots there like I'll do weird shit well yeah you wonder how like certain celebs go bankrupt and then you realize like when you buy these ginormous things there's so many expenses that come with it and your monthly bills just like get crazy. Oh yeah they get crazy and I have a phobia of being like an NBA player like I just started making money maybe the last two years and I'll like I bought a really nice couch and I was like oh no this is how it starts oh yeah next to you know I'm gonna be

bankrupt like so I have this fear I have a horrible like uh designer uh addiction and I honestly just kicked it recently good for you yeah so it's like so every time it's very Italian of you It's very Italian. Like, I have a Prada backpack that's made of nylon. Like, what are we doing? Dude, so I famously will not pay full price for that nylon Prada and I get it off DHK.com. 100%.

And I'm like, I'm not paying $1,500 for nylon. No. That I'm going to like leave in a bar bathroom. Yes. And pick up later and be fine. The fact that Prada has convinced us that nylon's worth $2,000 is the best fucking marketing I've ever seen in the history of anything. At least Louis Vuitton, you get kind of leather.

Yeah. Also my question to you a little bit about, like, your career and getting into this industry, was Vine like the very beginning? Yes. So, Vine was the very beginning. So in 2013, I got fired from my job as a mover. We love a firing story. Yeah, yeah. So I go to college?

No. I went to community college for where. two years but i never even got like a community college certificate oh wow like i never did that so i have i have a like a 12th grade education yeah you know i mean let's be honest college is just a holding cell like i didn't learn anything yeah but like the thing though that i do wish that i that i went to college before i get back to like my my journey um before i get back to my journey um what's your character development yeah my character development when when i got there I was never really good in school

but I was more afraid of failing than actually trying Oh so you never applied yourself So I never applied myself So like when I had to take Did you guys take the Regents? Yeah So like in New York

They have these standardized testing Called the Regents And I would always do well on those Like if you can't pronounce it You should even take it Yeah I was like is standardized reasons is They're like yeah dude

You failed already like just hang in the back by the big fan remember they put you in a gym they put those fucking big ass mega fans in there into an entire gymnasium like this will cool off 300 children right I'm like no dude we're all gonna die in here and it just sounds like the electricity

is like it's like hey guys come take a really important test in a gym that's 700 degrees with one big ass Darth Vader fan going off You need to give out like the Disney Spritz thing with like water. You give one to each kid. Those fucking spinny fans at like Italian grandmas do at Jones Beach. When you're done, you get a turkey leg.

Yeah, that's pretty much. So like for me, I never, I always had a problem that I don't want people to see me fail. Uh, so I wouldn't even try. I'd rather be like, dude, you could have done this than like try it and fail. That was my life. Yeah, which is kind of like the ultimate way to fail. For sure. You don't realize that at the time.

It's very class clown. Yeah, it is. It's very class clown. And then the real reason why I wish I went to college was because vagina. See? Dude, I hang around guys. Right? You're like fucking mad pussy, right?

No, but that's what I meant by it's a holding cell. I really feel like you're not ready to be put into the real world. so they give you four years to, like, do work, but you're really just, like, experimenting socially and figuring out stuff. Yeah, whoever came up with the idea of Sleepaway College is awesome. Yeah, they were a virgin.

They were like, hey, guess what? Like, yeah, they were. They were like, you know what would be cool? We made a, like, a place where you went to school and your parents paid for it, and all you did was drinking fuck. It's literally a practice time, like, before you're fully adults. Oh, yeah.

It'd be like, it's glamorized sleepaway camp. It's very expensive. 100%. But it's funny because I never, like, grew up. And I literally, me and my husband, we live, like, we're kids where the parents are gone. Like, we don't clean up after ourselves. We stay up late at night. Yes.

I'm like that too. We'll eat, like, whatever we want all the time. Yeah, yeah. It's awesome. See, I was like that until I got adult onset diabetes. I'm not there yet, but I go. Oh, you'll get there. He has a nephew that goes, oh, I want to go to Hannandez's the messy place.

Yeah, the messy places are the best places Like my dad came over And we like We ordered take out for dinner And we all just went around the TV And he's like We're allowed to eat at the TV

And I'm like Dad we can do whatever we want here And he's like This place is awesome Your dad just comes to see us a mess He's like Are you guys fighting right now? No like

People have tried to rob my husband Like in the last couple years And walked in And been like Oh this place has already been robbed Yeah they're just like Oh no like I'm actually casing this join out guys

I don't live here. Like, police acted during the, like, you've been robbed, and he's like, no. He's like, no, it's my wife. He's like, oh, okay, all right, that's fine. That works. Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year? I wouldn't say anything as a failure, especially because we all grow every day. Obviously, the goal is a championship.

There's no doubt in that, and that's the goal. We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast. in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments

you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted.

But we also know, you know, that's just one stop. the way and we're hoping to, you know, make it run. So listen to In Case You missed it with Christina Williams and IHart Women Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year? I wouldn't say anything is a failure, especially because we all grow every day.

Obviously, the goal is a championship. There's no doubt in that and that's the goal. We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars.

So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted. But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way and we're hoping to, you know, make it run. So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHart Women Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. But, no, the only reason I wish I went to college, like sleepway college is because I think it would have helped me socially. Yeah. I think it would have helped me mature also. Yes. Because when you're sleeping with your brother, I lived in the same room as my brother with twin beds until we were 24 years old. Yeah, 23, 24. But it made you who you are today. It did. It did. But like I think there was a lot of stuff that I would have learned about individuality. Yes, about yourself and how you handle certain types of diversity like being dropped off at the wrong frat party. But just little casual things like that. That's a big thing. And that's the only reason I went to college. I'd never.

wish that oh I went and wished I got a degree in phys ed or like nothing against phys ed I think it's a great job it's just not for me yeah it's not attack no I don't know I think physical education is one of the like most unrecognized physicians in any schooling people think people get phys ed jobs and it's easy that shit's not it's hard was a top phys ed teacher in the city of New York see there it is I'm obsessed with virality I like love when people go viral and how they do it when you first started Vine what made you like the app, what made you start it, and what was your ascendancy? Is that a word? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. Okay. Like you said, I mean, you didn't go to college. I know why. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, right? Spectrum. Remember the spectrum. Um, never forget the spectrum. I'm going to get, I'm going to make merch as I says, remember the spectrum. People just ask me why. You're like, is that a Pink Floyd album? I'm like, no. It's the saying I came up with it. It is. Um, um, it's. Um, um, it's. Um, um, um, it's. trademark that um so when you're jobless uh when you have no money and no hope no hope really

honestly if we're if we're being honest like i didn't really have a lot of plans or hope for my life right you want to know what's weird i have i'm sorry my mind's all over the place this started happening like as soon as i turned 30 oh you sitting like that i used to be fucking this dude yeah oh what's up guys yeah but as soon as i turned 30 i read one book and this happened No, that is zaddy vibes. Oh, thank you. Like, leg over is zaddy vibes. They're like, oh, it crushes my balls.

You're like, look. No. I've seen a lot of shit and I have things to say. Yeah. And like, I'd rather crush my nuts and be presentable, you know, than man spread. But I'm guilty of man spreading. But so to answer your question, I had no job. And my friends always said I was funny.

So I was like, you know, I feel that. I enjoy that. I enjoy that, uh, that camaraderie. also the feedback that I get from it. And the thing that drew me to Vine was that there was no celebrities on it. So I said, you know what? Like this is like a cool community building area where it's not going to be oversaturated with Kardashians or, you know, or, you know, actors promote.

Like Justin Timberlake. Yeah, just actors promoting their fucking music or movies and musicians promoted their music. And it was a place for like a lot of people to be creative. the people that made that app respectable for those like people to be like I want to make an account

were nobody's you know we were just a bunch of people that just wanted to make six second videos you had comedy ones you had artistic ones you had a whole plethora of it it was TikTok before TikTok it was TikTok before TikTok

you know like Vine crawled so TikTok could walk and it fucking run with it all all the way to the end like they skipped everything they did everything Yes. Catapult.

Yeah. And Instagram video happened because of Vine. There was Instagram video used to be like eight seconds long. Yeah. Yeah. And then they were like, oh, we're going to make it longer than Vine. And then Vine was like, oh, we're going out of business. Well, also didn't Vine have that moment where all the people came together and they were like pay us?

Yeah. I wasn't one of those people. You were? I wasn't. I wasn't. But like my brother was one of the biggest people on them. My brother Michael. Oh, yeah.

I read that. Yeah. he was uh he had like a 1.5 million followers on holy fuck how was his content different than yours uh family friendly i said a lot of fucking shit and piss and fucking cunt and all that shit so did he inspire you kind of to get into it he inspired me to get into it because i saw how much fun he was having and i was like i'm not having any fun in my life like uh i see all my friends succeeding at things and getting these degrees and at that time you're very influenced by what your friends are doing right so like when you're in your early 20s you see your friends like oh like oh they live in the city like

that's crazy like I live with my mom you know and it's like you know you start to best viner's were with their parents I feel like 100% it was the funniest and then like you kind of turn your parents into like character yeah you know and for me I had this essence of being like I want to do this as much as I can for as long as I can and see how much fun I have Did you immediately get response from it? No. No. My brother was like always, it was kind of crazy.

Like my brother was more famous than I was, you know? And people would always say like, are you like jealous of your brother, like having this? I'm like, no, because he does a completely different thing. Yeah. You know, like you don't want to do what he's doing. I love to see people win. Yeah. I've always been like that.

And I'm so happy. I don't know what wiring I've had in my head. But honestly, I've never really been jealous of. of somebody's success. That's powerful. But the only thing I've ever been jealous of... Pussy. ...is vagina.

Yeah. And the accessibility that my other friends had to it because they went to college. No, but like... It's like a lot of HPV. Yeah, yeah, a lot of HPV. But like, carrier. Carrier.

Let me see that dent on your arm, girl. Remember the old HPV girls? I was like, you're dented. I was like, that's like the scarlet S it was like take this fucking chicken pop bitch What did they use Yeah right

The thing they used to kill Like a jackhammer They were like You fucking want Take this vaccine Okay so when did you How often were you posting Leonardo da Vinci's in there

Giving people HIV vaccine you just punch what take that and go I really want to do before after if you talk about flood shaming yeah and I put that in there

one of us one of us has to write that into a bit now though I think you have no no it's you no it's you no it's you know because it's it's a it's a it's a it's a that's a woman's body. I'm trying to keep my hands off as many women's bodies as possible.

Oh my God. Okay. So how often were you posting? Was there a strategy to do that? A good amount. Why does Roe v. Wade sound like an action movie. When I first heard of Roe v. Wade, I was like, who the heat play?

I was like, it's bird magic. You're like, oh no, is Logan Paul have a new match coming up? Yeah, I was like, who's the Logan Paul fighting? They're like, Danny, this is, it's serious. This is important. And I was just like, yeah, I didn't know what it was. I'm stupid, dude. He's like, is it pay?

I was like, yeah, like, who's watching the Roe v. Wade fighting? Is it on paper view? But actually, it makes no fucking sense that from that we should know what that's about. They just say, throwing random names out there. They just changed the name from people that want abortion, the people that don't want it. Why are you making it sound like a fucking mega fight from 1997? Roe the Way at the Garden Saturday, August 11th. What is that voice?

That's so funny. Oh, my God, it's the new WWE. right smash down or whatever they call it this night at Somerslam it's gonna be Roe v. Wade and a hell in a cell match loser has to get an abortion we're gonna have a no hold

bar an abortion match she's got a new move and it's called a smashmortion oh she's gonna shmorses the Congress bill will be on the line abort him, abort him she's gonna get aborted here she comes boo she wants a point abortions.

John Sina comes out and like F-5s her or whatever. F-T-Fs her. Slips her over and it's like, yeah, John Sita! Fucking Marine, dude! Yeah? Fucking Marine, dude!

You're a pretend Marine, did! Stolen valor! You know what? I would love to go around the streets of Manhattan and be like, is row four against abortion? That should be your next one. I don't know. I have a no. You should go to,

round just like, yo, who do we have? Do we like Ro? Do we not like Ro? Are you team row? Are you against Roe? Do you have to talk about Roe? I think you should frame it like a boxing match. I think you should go around and be like, who do you got in the row of you Wade fight? It's like, uh, Wade's quicker on his feet. You're just outside Madison and Square Garden and be like Rover's Sway tickets and one ticket, Rover's Swayton. Yeah, it's fake scalping ticket. You're scalping it. Oh my God. Why they have, why did they have to frame such an important issue with two-name stuff what he cares about.

If the Democrats are complaining that, like, Republicans or, like, certain people are stupid, then let's oversimplify things. Yeah, because we're all good. Because the marketing is sometimes so fucking bad. Like, defund the police. I'm like, that doesn't sound good for anyone. Yeah, I was like, that sounds like don't pay my taxes.

That's when I hear defund the police. That sounds like you're not getting anything for me this year. Yeah, there's going to be a lot of, like, W-2s that go in the trash. I'm just letting you guys know. Oh, my God. I can't wait. to post that clip on TikTok.

But, um... Okay, look, you're done. You're done. We have time to play a final game. Okay. Called the Seven Deadly Sins. You're doing amazing. You're like way too comfortable.

No, no, no. It's perfectly fine. So what happened was, is I did a whole bunch of videos and then let me suck your titty is the one I'm most known for blew up and became huge. Oh, it was a specific video. Yeah, yeah, a got called Let Me Suck Your Titties. And then it became every like 40 years, it has like a resurgence. and it just blew up again on TikTok of like guys like with their girlfriends and like they'll

play it. Yeah. And then like their girls like won't be noticing and then they're like let me suck your titties. They're like, oh stop. Yeah. Have you ever remix it? I've remixed it. Beaver used it on Hayley Beaver. Shut. Like recently? Yeah. Like like like I guess like three or four months ago. Shut up. Yeah. Um, I just had to start out go with Haley Bieber because she messaged man. I love H-Beebs. I love J. Bebs. She messaged. me on TikTok because here, right here, I had this like girl who reads a lot of blind items, conspiracy theories

and she was talking about Hill Song, the cult. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How it's said that like they kind of will set up the males with like women that they think are good for them. Oh, yes. And how Haley B. were supposed to be set up with Chris Pratt, but then he changed his like political aspirations.

They put him with Catherine Schwarzenegger. And it was this like, whole thing. I don't know if it's true, but I posted it and I went viral. And then Haley Biber was in my TikTok DMs being like, like, um, I'm not an object that gets given to people. You're like, okay, lady. And I was like, who is this?

How'd you get my number? Who's Haley B. That's what you said. Who's Haley Bieber? Oh. Oh, you're Haley Baldwin. Didn't your dad yell at your fucking sister? Like, she was a piece of trash?

Wouldn't she an object in that fucking phone conversation? You goddamn, you got damn, you got damn sniffling little bitch. You mean how your dad treats your, you mean how your dad treats Ireland, Baldwin? I love Ireland Ball. Poor Ireland Baldwin. I love her. She's so funny on TikTok. She's so funny.

You goddamn fucking bitch. I want her up burning hell so bad. Okay. We're going to play a game called the Seven Deadly Sins. Oh, great. Seven Deadly Sins. What are you greedy about? Attention.

Same. Who are you envious of? Like who's getting the most pussy? No. Who am I? Invious of, people would fast metabolisms. Do you have a slow metabolism? I have a slow metabolism.

It's like... You're like not poop a lot? No, I poop all the time. It's just for some reason my body has this amazing ability to suck all the bad nutrients out and poop all the good ones out. Oh, when did you start getting weight? Before my nervous breakdown. Okay, I need like two more hours with you.

Yeah, yeah, that's fine. When was your nervous breakdown? I had my nervous breakdown. five years ago. I love why you talk about it like BC. Yeah, yeah, right. It was a long time ago. The young man

could not figure out where the cocaine was. But I was doing a lot of, a lot of schneef, a lot of cocaine, drinking a lot, like 18 beers a day. And I quit it all cold turkey. And then my brain was like, that's not how that works, dog.

They were like, you can't do that. So I had a nervous breakdown. I'd never had a panic attack until I started doing cocaine. Wow, I've never done cocaine before. Don't do it. It's so awesome. No, I think in a past life I was like a bad addict.

Yeah. So I have never even smoked a cigarette. Like I just not because I don't think I'll like it because I don't trust myself. Yeah, no, I feel that way too. I used to take pride and like, oh, I'll try anything and I wish I could go back and be like I didn't try shit. No, I'm a pussy and I know I'm a pussy. I like smoke weed and I cry.

Yeah, no, you should. If I smoke weed right now, I'll go to, I'll be in Bellevue Hospital. Yeah. That's just how my brain was rewired from it. Yeah. So after all of that, I was up for three days straight. And I was at a point where I was like, yeah, I can't live like this. I couldn't pee or poop on my own.

I couldn't shower. I couldn't do anything. I thought people were coming after me. It was really, really bad. And one day I was like, I'm just going to, I've said this many times on my, on my, who's calling me? It's my mom. She knows, she knows I'm crying. Are you okay?

I can hear, I can feel you. I'm some of my mother's intuition. But no, then I just, I had a point where I was like, I can't live like this anymore. I'm just going to fucking earth myself. Urf is a very New York term. That means like, unalive. Unalive. Yeah.

So I lived on the 11th floor on the Upper East Side and I said I had a terrace and I said, oh, great, I'm going to jump off of it. And then when it got to the point that I was going to do it. Is this while you were still using? No, I was clean. Oh, this is when you're clean. Yeah. But when you're clean, you fucking start feeling everything. the rewiring

is fucking... The withdrawal and all that stuff so it was really bad and then... So you contemplated jumping. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Before that I contemplated I said I'm probably just gonna cut myself straight up go straight vertie and kill myself in the bathtub

but I'm too much of like I was like it has to be instant because I can't do this because I know I'll regret it like if I do it if I were to cut myself and uh...

Fuck. Yeah so... And if you know you're going to regret it doesn't that make you feel like you don't want to do it yeah but when the when the pain is so much when you feel like that you'll never return back to normal life yeah or what you've conceived as normal yeah you don't really have a lot of hope and I was like I can't do no one's understanding my pain I had no health insurance I went to the emergency room like five six seven nights in a row they're so like physically oriented yeah they're just like oh your brain hurts fine yeah your heart's fine your vitals are good

so my crazy yeah so like my first panic attack was while I was doing cocaine and I thought I was going to die and me and my friend went to Lennox Hill Hospital shout out Lennox Hill they did a lot for me um I went there and they were like do you use any drugs and I was like nah and then they left and I went to the one nurse was like come here then she was like what's up she came out of here I was like I did some cocaine she was like thank you for being honest you know like this isn't school we're here to save your life yeah and I was like no like I'm dying and my friend was there with me all coked up too and I pulled him close I said go clean my apartment because I was like if I die I don't want people to find like cocaine in my apartment and shit

nobody knew I was using and this was a panic attack mom yes this was a panic attack yeah I've had guys make me go to the hospital because they were having a heart attack multiple times oh yeah all the time yeah we're the when it comes to health this the one time I'll use it we're the biggest buses no and I've told them I'm like you're having a panic attack right now and they're like I'm not I'm not and they spend like 30 grand on all these tests and I'm like I'm a hot girl I know what panic attack is. I know where they come from, right? It's how we wake up in the morning.

That's just called regular life. You know? Welcome to my life. So for me, when I got there, I was like, I'm fucking dying. They're doing all these tests. They gave me like liquid at a van. I swear to God, I was like, all right, see ya. I was perfectly fine.

The adivant hit me so well. I was like, oh, I'm sorry for wasting your time, guys. You just pop up. Yeah. You do a light jog like you just hit home run. Yeah. So this is how I knew it was bad. I went home and immediately did cocaine again.

yeah so it was like and then i had another one and uh fast forward to when i was i waited for my uh my partner who i was with at the time to leave for work i put my dog in the crate and i said i'm just going to go just going to jump off yep and then uh i had one last thing that kept me from doing it was how much my family was going to hurt for this for generations you know like my parents would feel like failures my brothers would feel like failures and they would never be able to fully like I would ruin everyone's life they would never be able to enjoy their lives to the fullest again because I made this decision to end my life so I said all right so that was like the one selfish thing I didn't do in that entire moment where I was being selfish

like going to the doctors getting brain scans cats scans dog scans any scan that I could get I was like shove a camera in my ass, the mouth, I don't care, I'll do whatever. So when that was happening, say, I was going to cry, but I didn't. Okay, manly. Yeah, right? No, no, no. You want to know what it is because I just have an ugly cry face. Oh, that's the only reason.

It's not about being like, fuck yeah, dude. Fuck! I'm fucking cry, dog. I cry all the time. But, so when that happened, I went and I said, listen, I got to go impatient. and they were like do you want to die and i was just like no that's why i'm here yeah i was like can you i was like do you guys have a room or not and then and they didn't and the guy said listen stick around for a couple of hours and i was like what i was like stick around for a couple

hours we might have somebody checking out so lennox hill hospital the the psych unit they had someone there they checked out and the guy said do you really want to come in here i said yep they took me in there they took my shoelaces they took my everything and i fucking had to be on 72 hour lockdown they baselined me out they figured out what's happening with me they got me into therapy if it wasn't for that trip i would have never been in therapy i've been in therapy ever since and uh yeah they saved my life over there holy shit yeah man i just also i love that you spoke about that thank you because i want to normalize like there's so many moments that i was like okay i just want to be in a health facility for three days yeah but like they make it like girl interrupted yeah yeah you just feel like

you're fucking like out of your mind like you're on um shutter island or something no i call them sticky sock vacations yeah why do you call it that because they give you the little socks in the hospital that like uh yeah yeah they stick to the yeah they stick to the grounds so it's like i take a little 72 hour break reset come out i'm good as new like after i got insurance now i season on reality tv i remember being like i need to go somewhere yeah but i was like do i do one of these retreats for seven grand. No. And then, but like, I really feel like it should be more socially accessible.

Yeah, I think, I think it should be. Especially for New Yorkers. Yeah. Like, once a month, let's do a three day. Yeah. Every, every, yeah, you know how it is? It's like, you know how like everyone in Europe takes a nap? Yeah.

Everyone in New York should have to go inpatient for like an hour a day. I mean, at least. At least. Dude. Well, that's fucking, okay, that's some incredible. And also says a lot of, of why, so funny. Yes. And why I'm a trauma dumper. What do you gluttonous about? What do you overindulgent?

What do I overindulgent? It used to be food. Now I overindulge in two things. I'm very like exercise with like unhealthy like now. Like I'm, I'm indulgent in like in discovering the science of why exercise works for your mental health and your physical health. So I'm trying to like correlate those and I'm just not smart enough. Yeah. To like figure out like all these things because when I started having panic attacks and all of these things, I had to figure out the, uh, the science behind it. Like why I was having tingly fingers or like why I was breathing like crazy. And a lot of it went into the fight or flight response. That is just mine just overactive. So I had to learn all about that. So now that, um,

so I forgot to mention. And then, before also, when I quit drugs and drinking, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Yeah. So it was a fucking mess, dude. I was a mess. So like, it got me to a point where now I'm very obsessed in the human body and how scientifically it breaks down food, how we break down things mentally, like what foods are good for our brain.

Like that's like what I'm overindulging, but it's not healthy. But, but yeah, you're going a little extreme maybe. But it's nice to like understand that there is a. science behind it and we're not just things are good for you for a reason yes they're bad for you for a reason yes and then the other thing i indulge in right now are our video games yeah yeah there had to be one non cool thing about me on here right what's your game of choice my game of choice i like um uh RPGs which are role playing games uh so yeah so it's hot like uh i'm a mage so like in this one game called

Elden Ring I'm a mysterious wizard Do you do the What's it called when you go to those events Oh no I don't No I don't I don't LARP LARP

LARP if I was a NARC We would all be in trouble probably You know what I mean Yeah I don't wear a wire A Comic Con You're a narc larp I'm a narc larp Hey guys you guys

You guys want to be mages These kids are all over for fucking Get no pussy Send them in send him in. These kids get no pussy. Actually, you're a pussy because you won't even do it in real life. No, no, I would, I honestly would love to LARP at this point. But, no, I just do it because it keeps me, it's the one thing.

I have a very busy brain. Yes, same. And if I could focus on one thing, like, all right, I just have to focus on this quest. Do you have ADHD? Yes, 100%. I've never been diagnosed, but I know for a fact. Because they tried to make me take a test in high school and I refused to take it. They were like, come on, Dan.

You know what like when you, they would take it and be like, come on, Dan. Hey, come on, come on, come on. Like, come on. Like, come on, come on. I don't want to, Miss Mastasia. You're like a rescue pet. You're like, come on. They're trying to give you a shot. You're like, no. Like, he refuses to get the job. Yeah, dude, because I know if I come in that room, I'm coming out fucking ADHD-D up. Now I got a label. I wish I did go, though. When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or anger? Oh, this was great. happened about like two weeks ago. What'd you do? I was walking my dog. So I live on the upper

west side of Manhattan. What kind of dog? Uh, silver Labrador. I have two, I have two silver lab. Okay, Zaddy. Yeah. Cute. Oh, cute. Did you buy them? Yeah. Okay. Anyway, continue. Uh, I bought them. They're, uh, I have two. One's named Sylvia and the other one's name is Tony. Why do you need two of the same dog? Uh, because I think it's the most ball or shit ever. You know, when people have like two different dogs, I'm like, this too much. I want fucking also my fiance's maiden name is silver cool so i got her two silver labs very romantic very romantic and my favorite show ever is the soprano so i named them after my two favorite characters on the show sylvia dante and tony just in case people forgot you were italian yeah just because you know

in case this fucking horn that i wear you you can't wear a horn unless somebody gives it to you in case people didn't see your pinky yeah my yankee pinky ring that i wanted a fucking card game That you won't playing poker. That I won't playing poker at Foxwoods. The Mohegan son. Why'd you get angry? Because my dog took a shit and I was going to pick it up. I always pick up my dog's shit.

And some dude from my building says, pick that up. The building that I live in. Yeah. I'm across the street. He goes, pick that up. So the psychopath in me just goes, I go like this and I just start scanning the building like this with my finger.

Yeah. I'm going like this. Yeah. Oh, so he's in the building. Yeah, he's a fucking pussy. He's hiding in there, and I'm just going, who said it? I'm screaming at this point. Who said it?

Screaming. Doesn't say anything. Now I'm purposely not picking up the shit because I want to hear him say it again so I can pick it up, like the sonar, like a bat and like find him. So he was like, pick that up. I said, fucking come down here. I said, fucking come down here. and all this time

what if it was just God yeah right it was just like pick it up my son I'm just like can you come down here and pick it up imagine God came down and picked up my dog shit

that'd be the most baller thing ever I have a question I follow a question for you after that by the way but um so the guy comes down

the guy comes downstairs and he has these three like plastic bags in his hand so I don't know if he's gonna come pick up my dog's shit or like

try to like kill me with one and then pick up the dog shit. So the psychopath in me, I'm inside of a gated area. I swear to God, I clear this thing like fucking flojo. I jump over this fucking fence like a deer. I don't nick it anything. This is Roe versus Wade. Yeah, this is Roe versus Wade part two. Second flight. The flight for the signatures. So I jump over the thing and I meet in the middle of the street yellow lines i said who the fuck are you yelling at i goes he's like and he was english he's like well am i like people come out here and they dogs poop and they leave it over there and they and they don't pick it up in the neighborhood so i was just like you want i said

what building did you just come out of says my address i said you know where i live he was like i don't know i i said in your fucking building i said i know that people don't pick up their shit i pick up my dog shit every day. Don't ever yell at somebody from your window like that ever again. And I stared him in his soul. I said, and he was like, mate, like I apologize, mate. Like we should have a, we should have a pint together. And I was just like, yo, bro. I was like, yo, I don't ever want to do anything with you. I said it straight to his face. I said, I don't care about your apology. Don't ever fucking say another word to me in your life. And then you told the dogs, sick them. Yeah. And then they were, they were already like,

two like peas in and three shits deep they didn't give a fuck my dogs would not do anything for me that's the last time i felt wrath is because i hate when i'm i hate when people tell me what to do yes as you can hear that fucking tony soprano exhale i just i hate when people tell me what to do i've always had a problem with authority i always will it's something that i've tried to work on but if anyone especially if i'm intending to do the right thing yes i'm not your kid that's super annoying. Don't fucking tell me what to do because I have way too many problems and I will unleash them on you if I have to. I love that. I'm obsessed with that. People don't stick up for themselves enough. I think in public situations. Oh yeah. I'm one of those people who would like

never cause a scene in public. No, me neither. But I have friends like I was in Canada with my friend and this guy was like yanking at his dog. Like it was weird. Yeah, it's just a little much. Like and the dog seemed sad and I saw it and I just was like that's really upsetting. And she just turns him and she goes yeah go fucking mistreat your dog you fucking devil and he starts yelling at her and i'm just like yeah see like that's a little too much like my thing is like there has to be a 100% i'm gonna look good coming out of this yeah because that one was close like i looked like a psychopath screaming at this other man in the middle see as someone who did reality tv i'm like they could make you look any type of way when you react yeah but um i'm i just get scared and then

afterwards we'll call my friend and if bravo can do that imagine what the new york police department can do okay finally once last time you lusted over someone so besides your um fiance who's your like celebrity crush oh riana 100% oh fuck yeah riana's always been uh the amount of swag the upper and i've met her and you know when when you know when uh when dave chappelle said like Ray Charles had an aura Rie Rie got an aura Like she walks in and like She like there's a light that gleams off of her

Wow And I was like oh yeah she's a bad bitch You know who also has a huge crush on Rihanna Who? Michael Rappaport Oh I'm sure And he said he met her and he like stuttered And like he had a funny story

Yeah yeah so I met her in Carbone And uh I went to the bathroom and we came I came out and we connect eyes and I felt it. She penetrated me. She fucked you. She fucked me.

And I was just like, this is, this is what it's like to meet somebody that's just like on another level. Oh, yeah. You know? And I respected the shit out of it. Wow. Yeah. Final question.

What advice do you give to the little devils on when you're in your darkest place, which you've been many times and you're still here? How do you cope with your hell? I talk to people as much as I can and I am a big believer in when you tell your friends about what you're going through if they're not receptive to it don't get upset about it because they're not trained to do that

they're not educated when you trauma dump on them yeah so when you trauma dump on someone and they don't understand where you're coming from it's not that you're not valid it's not that you're not valid it's just they're dumb we're all dumb we all have moments in our life where we're dumb about things. If I hate people who claim to know everything about everything, the later I got in my life, it was, I'm more inquisitive now than I've ever been. Yes, you listen more. Yeah. So I think

that people have to understand that instead of being like, oh yeah, oh, for sure, ask a question. Ask a follow-up question. But to the little devils, if you're not getting the support that you feel from your friends, a lot of them just don't have the tools and, you know, or the experience to do that. So do whatever you can to find the right tools to get you there, whether it's coping mechanisms, whether it's therapy, whether it's going out. A lot of this, a lot of people don't understand is therapy is awesome. I'm a big advocate for therapy. I'm also an advocate for medication. I take medication, but to each their own. I think everybody, everybody's case is different. But for me, people have to understand that therapy is

95% homework. Yep. 5% is talking, talking it out. That's the instant gratification, right? Because that's what we all look for in life as people is that I need to get something off my chest, right? I need to have the instant gratification of telling someone, this is how I feel. I, I, I get to be selfish in therapy. I, I, I'm telling you, it's going to be okay. Yeah, and it's going to be okay. But you got to remember that when you leave there, you have to take the things that you're learning and apply them to real life. And that's the hardest part of therapy. So remember, it's a try to practice what you preach most of the time. It's okay to have nobody's perfect. But make sure that if you're surrounding circle doesn't know, that's perfectly okay. They're just not educated. Go get the help that you need. And don't let things stop you. Like, I don't have insurance. I don't have this. There's, there's, uh, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, uh, there's, there's, there's, uh, there's, there's, there's, there's, uh, there's, there's, there's, there's many of assets out there that are free, that are cheaper than a therapist. These are things that you have to be able to put the time in if you really want to get better. Fuck, yeah. Thank you for being so vulnerable, insightful, and hilarious. Danny, where can people

listen to you, watch you, see you perform? Give me all the tea. Yes. So I'm at Danny Lopiorari everywhere on Twitch.com, Twitch.tv slash Danny Lopiorari 69. I'm 33 years old. Um, and then, uh, if you guys want to see me, when does this come out? Next Wednesday. Next Wednesday. Okay. So they might be sold out by them. But if they're not, you can get tickets to my 9.45 p.m. show at Caroline's on

Broadway in New York City. Oh, yeah. Uh, you can watch me on the little pre-orri podcast with my brother Michael, uh, which is a lot of fun. And then I have a mental health podcast called Off the Cuff. And I was on it and you guys should definitely listen. It's recent. Episode came out today. Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I saw that. So yeah, check that episode out. And also this will be on YouTube. Burning and Hell is newly on YouTube. So check out all those episodes. Yeah, check them out.

I love you. Yeah, fucking smash that like button, dude. Fucking subscribe. Sign up for our fucking Patreon. Swipe up. Check out my Amazon storefront. Yeah, fuck. And we love you guys.

Bye. Bye. I don't know.