Berner Phone - Derek Peth: Bad Breakups & Stoicism

Episode Date: January 9, 2019

Derek Peth was once a star on Bachelor in Paradise when he proposed to Taylor Nolan on national TV. Since then, his life has changed dramatically and his relationship has ended. Now he is living in New York trying to figure out his next steps for happiness. LIVE SHOW (use the code BERN for 50% off): http://www.carolines.com/comedian/berning-in-hell-live-podcast/ Follow Hannah Berner on Instagram & Twitter: @beingbernz Follow Derek Peth on Instagram & Twitter: @pethderek --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning in Hell. What's up and welcome to Burning in Hell? I'm very excited today because I am a Bachelor fan. I'm not going to lie, I love shitty TV that's not anything against you. I have Derek Peth, former contestant on Jojo season of the Bachelorette. What up? I'm still not done introducing you. What up?

And Bachelor in Paradise. where he got engaged which was a little bit crazy a little bit dramatic, amazing television. I made people cry all over the country and I'm proud of that literally I got so many tweets I cried so hard at this. You know

crying is healthy that's what I say on this podcast crying is an orgasm for your eyes and your soul. So I have plugged in my eyes so when my eyes tear up it like just comes down my face so hopefully there's not too much crying. You have plugs in What was that?

Yeah. They're like, so you have tear ducks and I got LASIC surgery. Oh. So they like plug it so that your eyes stay wet. By the way, your eyes are beautiful. Thank you. Yours aren't so bad either. End of a get.

You are a catch. You are the kind of guy that you meet and you're like, oh, he has pretty blue eyes. He looks like a nice dude. And he is a commercial banker. But I did read that you have a fear of fluffy kittens. What the fuck is wrong with you? So that was from the, um, They try to, like, convince you that this is, like, some fun quiz that they're doing when you're getting ready to go on The Bachelor or Bachelorette.

And I knew it was going on. So I was like, I'm going to put some really sarcastic answers here. Because I love cats. Fun fact about me. Yeah, but I hate cats. You know that, Hannah. I actually do hate cats. What did a little cute, fluffy kitten ever do to you?

Have you seen the way they, they are plotting everyone's murder all the time? Yeah, except for the one person they love. I want to be with someone who would literally murder everyone but me. That's the kind of loyalty I want. You just think that. They have you under their paw. That was kind of funny. That was funny.

So the point of the show is I've seen you on TV. I've seen you on Instagram. I've seen you as kind of a friend. But we've never really got in depth behind Derek Peth, the image that people see. It's tough. I mean, I feel like nobody really has those conversations anymore. Yeah. And I'm the kind of person that it's like.

I either want to laugh with you or I want to talk shit about real shit with you. I'm sorry, I curse a lot. But I want to know, like, what was your biggest fear about going on national TV? So I had never seen the show before I got on it. My sister actually sent my information in and everything. I thought, when they called, I thought it was a prank call from a radio show or something. It was a super bubbly girl who... But aren't you, like, the most handsome guy in Iowa?

I was in Florida at the time, so I'm like... like a Florida five okay no you're more than a five you're fucking half Brazilian that's immediate immediate nine that gives you a bump of at least a couple of Brazil just say the word Brazilian and I'm like yes it's weird I actually do use that people will be like you're so tan I'm like yeah I'm half Brazilian and literally why is it that that is interesting I think well Brazilian models in general are hot and it's exotic like if you were like Greek it's like oh okay you have a crazy family but if you say Brazilian you're like oh it's going to beach together and just eat what do Brazilian people eat um food

awesome okay awesome okay you asked me about my fear yeah so my fear was that like I am from like the classic middle America family and I was just like these guys are going to make me look so shitty and stupid and um you know here like I do have a normal nine to five career like I'm never going to be able to get a job again and um so i think i was a little bit too protective on the first show during the bachelorette like i totally like didn't get involved in too much drama unless like when i told chad off like he was my child and i was his but chad deserved it at that point he did wanted it chad did want it he wanted someone to put him in his place i always say with reality TV, it's like my lawyer actually told this to me that you don't want to actually go at someone

until the jury's on your side. Ooh, that's a good one. So it's like, the jury's the audience. So if you just like came at chat in the beginning of the audience wasn't fully aware of what a douchey was, you might look kind of crazy. But if you wait till the audience really understands where's coming from. You got to let people make their own mistakes, yeah. Why did you choose to go on at risk of losing your job?

I did actually quit my job, but... Did you quit for love? I don't think I so I am I am a hopeless romantic so like I did hope that that could possibly happen even though I'm 31 perfect at that point in time you're never going to get an opportunity again for something like that and I was just like I can't say no to this you know so do you regret it no absolutely not and I mean my career has actually gone in a positive direction yeah I think there was a big stigma around reality TV but then recently over scripted shows reality TV is everything it's like being on a show playing yourself with no lines yeah 100% and as long as you're just like who you are uncomfortable then what do you like yeah just don't murder anyone as long as you're not an asshole then guess what everyone knows you're an asshole and that's your own fault that you're a terrible person and with

editing if they can only take what you give them absolutely and at the end of the day too it is a TV show and I think our generation is starting to understand they don't just take it for what it is they know it's entertainment and even like James Kennedy of Vanderpump who can be so obnoxious when I interviewed him he was like same people that telling me to go fuck myself on Instagram want a picture with me when they meet me in real life exactly so it gives you that amount but

you're beautiful man you've clearly probably get a lot of ladies I'm I compliment you so much normally I don't compliment my email guess I I don't know. I'm feeling loving today. I guess so. But what's your biggest insecurity is what I want to know. Like physically, emotionally, what is your biggest insecurity? So I've been cheated on a few times, and I struggle to trust people now.

Damn. Yeah. I'm sorry. Like, I've tried a few long-distance relationships, and, I mean, you want to believe that it's going to work. Long-distance is a hopeless romantic kind of thing to do, I think. Because you're like, we can make it through this. and it becomes dramatic. Like, almost more about the story.

I miss you so much. Yeah. I did long distance in college, and like when he would visit, it would be like your endorphins are just out of control and you're just having so much sex. I was going to say, was that your end? And then he leaves. And then I live with him for a bit.

And it was like the sex was not exciting anymore. It really was all kind of made up in my head. Totally. It's like normal life then. Yeah. You're a hopeless romantic too. What did that ruin you for? I am a hopeless romantic, but I also have now realized that projecting onto people is so bad.

That was so deep. Yeah, but just wait to see if you naturally progress. Like, I'm almost sick of the bullshit of my friends being like, Hannah, what do you think? This guy did this. What do you think about this? I'm like, if you're questioning, if he likes you, just stop. Yeah. Like, don't force it.

Because I don't even feel like when you start dating someone, you have to ask. Like you just want to see each other all the time Yeah I think that's something that I don't do a good job of Like because I am that like hopeless romantic for real I tend to like To like be really attracted to somebody quickly And not be all about like oh well that little thing that's like Because again I come from Iowa right

So there's only so many people that you can date there I don't have like the big city mentality Well then the big city mentality can be bad Because I'll go on a date with, like, a hot Australian dude on Tuesday, who's 6'3. And then I go on a date with, like, hot British guy on Thursday, who's 6'5. And then you totally forget about this quality catch on Tuesday. And then Thursday fucks you over. But then Monday, you have an Irish guy.

Where's the happy medium? Why are you dating all these international guys? I'm right now. I'm in a foreign fetish. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because my ex was American, and I'm like, every American accent reminds me of him. So dramatic. That's pretty dramatic.

So dramatic. Just the way someone talks is too much for you. No, honestly, I like feeling at this age, if I'm going to date someone, I want to feel like I'm learning something. And I can't really afford to travel too much right now, so I travel through the men I have sexes. Like, I've learned so much about England. It's like I've been there.

I know all about the cuisine. I know all like the funny stuff they say to each other. I'm basically British at this point. What's the place in Disney world? Epcot, right? Epcot. I'm literally living Epcot, but with dicks. I think we can market that.

That's a total, well, that might be an illegal business, but. So speaking of, I don't know. I'm so bad at transitions. I'm like, speaking of Epcot, what is the deal with cheating? But do you think that because you've been cheated on, you might try to find someone who like likes you a little more than you like them so you feel safe a hundred percent that's what i that's what's that's what the problem is there is that um i've like instead of instead of like looking for all the things or you know i i've started to date

people or you know go on a few dates and and i'm noticing that it's like i definitely am the winner in this like number comparison thing you know they always talk about like like Like, are you, are you, uh, did you, what's the, what's the phrase where like, uh, like Jared Fred's podcast where it does face personality body. Yeah, exactly. He has like a rating. So, it makes me pissed off as a feminist, but it is like, I don't like to rank people because I ultimately do feel that people, I hate when people say they have boxes they want

to check because I'm like, what I've learned is I've met guys who check off all my boxes and there's an X factor that's not there. Relationships are not about finding the perfect guy or girl. It's about finding the perfect person for you. Have you ever read the book, Blink? No, I don't read. You never learned to read. They skip that class.

They actually talk in that book about how the very beginning of meeting people, they do like this whole dating psychology study where like the way you feel about people, the second you meet them, like before you even talked, it already defines whether you're like going to be attracted to them or not. Oh my God. And that we fuck ourselves over by trying too hard to like make this work or make that work. Yeah. Because you want to change the initial feeling or you want to live up to that initial feeling.

I think because we say like we instead of just like understanding that and be like, yeah, that person I'm really attracted to, you do that whole comparison of like, oh, this person checks more boxes or this person's like, oh, that guy is. But they're saying go with your intuition of how you first felt. Exactly. Oh my God. I love that. I love that because I went through it in my relationship. I wanted to work so bad.

I didn't know why this guy liked me. Like, in my head, he was way more successful. And I literally was, like, trying really hard to feel, like, worthy of him. And he straight up was, like, I want to move in with you. I love you. But I still didn't feel worthy of it. And I fucking hated myself in the relationship. and but it helped me learn like there were red flags in the beginning there were so many red flags

and issues that he had so focused on like I was focused on the win I was focused on the win I'm competitive I'm an athlete that's a good analogy I was like you want to win like you want to show all of your friends right and be like look at what I got I literally had people in my ear who were like I can't believe you're dating him oh my gosh and I had my career I had just switched jobs and I didn't really know what I was doing. Like, I quit marketing and I wanted to get into video. Yeah. I was, like, getting paid $300 a week to, like, edit a couple of videos.

And he was my, like, light. He was my excitement. And I used to be a tennis player. So I was kind of my identity went to shit when I quit tennis. Yeah. And he was... Siren, I was a college athlete, too. So I actually totally understand that you, like, you tie your identity to this one thing.

And then it's, like, gone and done. Gone. I mean, the transition from college. sports is not like an injury or it's literally okay this is your last match this is your last track meet 100% and then next thing you walk into the world and I went from me the captain of my tennis team like giving speeches signing autographs doing interviews to being an intern at a fashion company literally getting shat on nobody gives a shit about it was a rough transition like really rough it's like a breakup it is yeah because tennis it's like it was my my heart and soul it's like it's like

a long-ass relationship because you're probably like a 15-year relationship you have at least you have your ups and downs with it it's always there for you it's caused serious heartbreak it's caused serious happiness when I lost it and I'm not gonna lie I did try to look towards guys for happiness to fill that void I think through this breakup I'd realize like oh my void was me finding myself after tennis and I was trying to have him fill it so sometimes breakups are good sometimes you also got to somebody fill that void are you flirting with me and what is by void do you mean my vagina okay anyway um speaking of vaginas what you I'm not gonna lie I didn't know it but I realized recently that I'm a very anxious person I just like have a like I laugh at myself

demeanor but it comes from anxiety and I learned that after my relationship do you get anxiety about shit. All right. So lately I've been reading again. I'm a total reader. You're such a nerd. It's like turning me on. You're like I run fast and I read fast. By the way, with the whole like comparing people or deciding whether you'll date them, speaking of the nerdy situation, I had a funny conversation with John, Venmo John from the, because he like we got. Oh, Venmo John. Yeah, we got drinks and stuff when he's in New York. And he described it. He's a coder. So they, they go either a one or zero which means like yes or no super nerdy and I loved it I was like that's absolutely like a better and I was telling you this my problem is like I'm either with someone who likes me a lot more than I

like them and I feel safe and in control or I'm in a relationship that I'm like oh this is the kind of guy I want that I have to earn that I have to that doesn't really like me but I'm going to win it and it's going to be he's my dream guy and that's my romantic story in my head but I think in realistically it's that's not very romantic no i know i'm am i fucked up i'm like he doesn't notice me but then one day he's going to notice me and be like you um but i love that initial feeling of just knowing like you see someone and they feel like home yeah totally and i just haven't found that yet that's that instant that's what we need to find that instant shit um but speaking of your anxiety yeah he was talking about books again oh yeah books so i've been reading books about

about stoicism yeah which is like a whole Marcus Aurelius can you say that three times fast stoicism stoicism stoicism stoicism uh show off Marcus Aurelius like really modernized it and it's I like started reading it I think because I'm surprised that you feel it's because I think as an athlete I really learned to like you lose sometimes and you win sometimes but you just kind of like stay on the steady and that's I'm like very just on the steady so that is that is a That is awesome. That's awesome. And I think I need, I actually do need to meet guys like you who have that, what is it, stoicism? Stoicism. Stoicism. Like, balance out your.

Because if I'm up and down all the time, and not with moods, I don't know. As a tennis player, I could win a match 64, 64, and I lost 40% of the points. Right. So, like, I'm used to that, but I was, like, high, love. Like, I'd lose a match and I'd beat a press for four days. Then I'd win a match, and I'd be like, I'm the great tennis player that ever happened. happened. I should be going pro. So because people would tell me like you got to stay like more on the stoicism vibe. Yeah. But I like was loving the highs and lows so much. You're addicted.

I was addicted. I need another shot. But I always thought that like, okay, if I don't get really excited and happy for this, then life is boring. But I realized I would have probably won more matches if I didn't like put it on such a pedestal that it would affect my happiness. Same with like Dudes, if you put a guy on a pedestal that he's going to make or break your happiness, you're going to fuck it out. Yeah, every dude I date. No, but you're right. Wait, so you don't feel your life is less exciting because of your stoicism?

No. Because it's more just how you react to situations. Yeah, exactly. It's like you still appreciate the moments. And actually, it's more about like actually experiencing the moments instead of just letting the emotions, like, run you all over the place. It's like, take the time to pause and be like, damn, like, look at this. tonight that's awesome that's beautiful i love that so much i love that so much which is also a high conversation oh my god look at this guy you know it's so funny it's so beautiful people like are you

high you're like i'm doing stoicism leave me alone so speaking of stoicism what's it like to go through a public breakup okay i'm done with these transitions i gotta love it you went through a public breakup yeah holy fuck i mean look every every every breakup is is hard but um i think that like in a normal situation your friends are pretty much only people who care know yeah and it's just like they know we'll we'll check up on you for the first couple weeks or whatever and they let let it go but like here we are i don't know three months later after the breakup and literally people still like send me DMs are like comment on photos and stuff like old ones or there's like old photos of us together you know and they'll be like oh my god I miss you guys so much is it harder to get over it and

really forget about it when it's constantly all over social media that's what it's hard to forget about it that's a good good way and not that like I don't know forgetting about it isn't great um but like moving forward is right a little bit harder I guess did you feel like you let America down a little bit Which is so egotistical, by the way. No, but it's fucked up. Like, I would feel that way, too, but it's crazy. I have enough pressure to, you know, make my parents happy that I made it work with someone.

I mean, I shouldn't even think that. You should do it for yourself. Exactly. But did you feel pressured during the relationship to kind of stay a little longer for Bachelor Nation? 100%. And we, and, you know, things, just like every breakup. I mean, things were not great for a while. It's not just like one day you wake up and you're like, okay, it's done.

You know, you hear your friend, like, finally really complained about someone, and you're like, two months, that'll be done. Like, they need to go through the, you don't just realize it and say, fuck this. Like, you got to let it annoy you and it annoy you and annoy you and annoy you. Well, you were saying that, what was that one piece of advice you gave me about not giving up? Yeah. So I think not giving up does two things for you. It, like, if it works out, that's great. So, like, we did a couple's therapy.

everything and really tried to make it work so if it would have worked you know we would have figured out our differences that would have been awesome but I think that like now after the fact I really know for sure that was not the right relationship so it did it has made it easier like even though there's all the mess of the people saying things you know like oh we loved you why did you break up they also don't know shit they don't know shit at all absolutely but it it makes it easier for me to like just dismiss that that way versus holding on to it and being like i don't know there's a previous relation like i still i still talk to people that i dated like five years ago who sometimes i'm like hey what's up you're that ex everybody they post like a cute photo and you're

like derrick's gonna text me in three two one what's up babe hey you know i'm as guilty as everyone but you're saying you really worked through this people say they don't do that they're lying There's always like one or two X's that you're like, and then there's always one or two that you're like, why the fuck did I do that? Absolutely. But in Bachelor in Paradise, how often did you question like if you guys were being fully authentic

with cameras on you, if the emotion was real or it was just like a reality TV high? Yeah. Our situation was different than everybody else's right because we actually like had the shutdown and we went home and we were still like talking to each other FaceTiming and stuff. Yeah, the DiMario Corinne thing.

They took like five days off. It was like, well, we were five days there. People were freaking out, by the way, like, Betches, where I work? We're like, where is Bachelor in Paradise? I'm glad that it came back. Just, you know, it was, it was blown out of proportion for sure. Yeah. Like, you know, it's a big show, really, which I didn't realize until I got involved in it.

Which is adorable. Yeah, I know. It's probably good that you didn't know or you could have psyched yourself out. Totally. Way better that I didn't know. But, so we were like actually going to. hang out and I was flying her out to Iowa to see me because again there's you're adorable 15 people in Iowa he's like check out my cornfield exactly so because of that it was like 100

percent real we didn't think the show was coming back that we were attracted to each other but like the after part I'm you know the whole engagement thing I mean how many people really get engaged that quickly maybe like did you have pressure from producers of course yeah yeah they like suggest that to you they're basically like you'll be a star no they don't say that actually but it's like you're literally manipulated by them mentally for like you're you're shut off right like you can't talk to your family you can't talk to your friends there's no TVs and literally you're just constantly being asked questions and the other people you talk to in the show are being manipulated too so no one is safe no one like no one is sane when you ask perspectives and plus

like people are trying to put on a show so they're fucking with each other just to mess with people yeah yeah holy so it's kind of a weird environment to fall in love super weird environment it's like it's like falling in love so this is way overblown but it's like falling in love in the middle of like mental warfare or like a psych ward on a beach that bachelor in paradise subtitled I am a singer by the way um so once the cameras went off how long before it deteriorated it was a while we you know we I actually was at with you at a bar and I remember when you guys were like on and my friend was like I'm gonna fuck Derek Beth and I think he's engaged and she was hitting on you and you were like oh look

Taylor's FaceTiming me and I was like this dude is smitten and stop like trying to be a you know a relationship ruiner but yeah you were like smitten yeah I definitely was we were totally in love But, you know, kind of like we talked about earlier, real life happens, and you try to, like, turn that into, well, she lives across the country and, like, how are we going to move in together? And, you know, I hate cats and Taylor had two cats. I personally love Taylor because she loves cats. Of course. Maybe you like cat girls. I don't know.

I don't think it worked out. What's your type? My type is two things, athletes. And I always say that I like somebody who can, like, challenge me. so you usually makes means that they're sarcastic and they like and you know it's sarcasm means I do ask a lot of questions and I am sarcastic and did you say brunettes but you meant to say burnettes but so when did the red flag start like how do you know when a relationship starting to be like mm hmm I don't know if I know the answer to that I think it's like what you said earlier

it just has to happen like you just have to really mess with each other for a while until I think everyone's like and also long distance is like you're not even getting the constant physical affection so it really can magnify like the emotional distraught if there is any that's hard i'm totally like very physical are you good at communicating i think so do you think i'm good at communicating we're communicating right now yeah you are good you've been very good the whole like set up for this he came only three minutes late to our first interview which was great what did you learn from yourself from the breakup learn about yourself about myself um i think i've really learned so i like i don't know if this is age or or just or if it's the breakup or the whole bachelor experience in general i think

looking at who i was before that and now i like totally know who i am that's awesome before i was isn't that like what life's about yeah i'm done just call throwing the towel I'm good. You can take me out. Knock on one. Yeah, let's not make that joke too much. No, but I think, and I love that, like, the person I am with other people now, like, I don't walk on eggshells as much. I'm, like, 100% me.

And if people don't like that, then I'm like, all right, well, sucks. We can't be friends. But it's also, like, you've been through relationships where you've trying to force it with someone who maybe is not meant to be, and you're like, that's the worst shit ever. And the only way to avoid that is being authentically yourself, because then you won't. But also, I feel like you're going to have a different kind of love with a lot of different people in your life unless you get married pretty fairly early. But it's like you and Taylor had a real love that was a type of love that maybe wasn't meant to be, you know, too long term. Yeah, that's a good point. Do you believe in soulmates?

No. Actually, we, Taylor and I talked about that on the show. I don't believe in soulmates at all. Do you? No. Yeah. I think there's men all over the world for me. Or at least in New York City

It's a melting pot And speaking of melting pots I want to Play a game with you Okay I really appreciate you opening up about your relationship Because it's public And a lot of people don't want to

Just you know Talk about it more with the public But I think it's great to being authentic about it And owning your shit of what happened I think because it's public It's just easier for me to even like maintain that connection and just you know it is what it is

and my next relationships won't be like that but yeah but you're also a very down-to-earth guy like I deal with a lot of reality show people I interview a lot of them some of them are on some high horse I don't know where they're going and some you meet and you're like oh you're real

you're not a character is that what producers would tell you no but they just totally like didn't ever air me very much Because I would give some good sage advice sometimes. But by comparison, I'm, oh, thank you. Do you think one last question? Do you think dating is different now that you were on TV?

Like, is it good or bad? Okay. I think dating changes for anybody who's been on TV. And it is because of social media. Yeah. And actually, I think this is what's ruining some of, like, the reality TV, like, real interactions now. I can tell you this. the way that the guys

when we were in Paradise last year the way that they came into Paradise like the new ones and the way they were and then when we went home and they all were like checking their DMs constantly and I hung out with a few of them

and they were talking about like here's how many followers I have now here's how many oh look at this picture this girl sent me and I was like you guys haven't been around the block all of this won't matter to you in a year but like that opportunity

this is like beautiful women reaching out to you is is tempting but like they don't they're not looking for the right thing so no and do guys actually hook up with girls from their DMs of course I've never DM'd a guy so keep DMing you've never DMed a guy no I don't know well not like it doesn't have to be sexual but like please tell me you have like I've never DMs like a famous dude oh gotcha I'm or I DM like an I DM like and Insta stories and stuff That's what I mean

Like if I just see in my vagina Occasionally You're like Oh gee so funny That's totally That counts I only respond like that

To people I know I bet I bet that's a lie Moripovich Maybe because I'm afraid Of being rejected By a famous dude And the lie detector

Came back No I guess I don't I guess I don't Just be another one Of those girls Like I have a big ego So I'm like

I don't want to be the girl It's like Oh my God you're so funny Like Making his easy ego bigger. Just do it. Because my you think? Yeah. Vagina pics? No, just DM.

Vigna picks is too much. Yeah, that's That might weird somebody out. Or they might fall in love. What's the game called? Seven Deadly Sins. Okay. What are you greedy about? What am I greedy about?

I am super stingy so I don't spend any money and I like have totally had girls I've dated before that are just like can we go and do something so I'm greedy in a way that like I just keep it and I don't like I can't spend money but at what point are you

it's what's funny is I've been I'm so cheap but something happened where I got a bunch of like healthcare bills and I just lost like five grand and then I was just like whatever I'm either gonna stress so much and now I realize what I'm going to do hoard all my money I don't spend I only spend money on food really

but I do realize that not to get upset over like a big bill every now and then I did this I will say so I had a boys weekend last weekend with my Oh yeah Was that when I tried to call you and you were drunk

Yep And it was like 6 p.m. Yeah Whoops And you were in L.A. so it was 3 p.m. So totally Shh Don't tell him

No so and like It's my friends from Iowa, right, like college, college friends, and they don't really get out. And so I definitely bought, like, bottle service table kind of thing. You're bad. So that they could experience it. Did they like it? A hundred percent.

It was totally worth it. There was, so sometimes I will, but I, like, that doesn't happen very often. I also don't understand the whole, like, guys buying tables thing. I think it's so creepy for a bunch of dudes to be at a table, just, like, staring at the girls on the dance floor and trying to, like, tell them to come. drink. That is super weird. I think it's so weird and then like the girls are just drinking the alcohol and the guys are just sitting there. Also the really rich dudes are not buying tables. They're like working somewhere. Like they're getting shit done. It's like the guys who want to look cool that are at the tables. I think it's it's like a trap. It's like oh you want some of my alcohol.

I think it's so weird. I hate that shit. It's a hundred percent. But I can see how like going to Vegas are doing it occasionally is fun or if you're too lazy to be on a sweaty dance floor and you're with like a bunch of friends but when it's just like four dudes who are like in their forties i can i've seen that table before it is so creepy it's so creepy all right how's this for one my one friend was wearing flip-flops so the only way we were going to get in was if i bottom table they weren't going to let us in oh so you were forced to buy a table this dude from iowa who wears flip-flops out dudes from iowa who don't know what's happening he was probably so excited about the heat then he was like i'll go naked yeah oh i was cold

as a yeah um who are you envious of who am i envious of uh john mayor why i like if there was one thing i could do i would be a musician i love music i play guitar and like i am not very good at that or singing but i just wish that i could wait that's adorable can you start posting videos of you like trying to sing i have there are some really yeah but um he's hot yeah i think you could do better who you're envious of but I don't judge I don't think you can do better than that you have pretty or blue eyes all right

you could say thank you take a compliment what do you gluttonous about I've been compliment you a lot what am I gluttonous about yeah oh shoot all right can I give two answers of course so I will literally

Reese's peanut butter cups ice cream is the best ice cream ice cream and I will literally get an entire gallon of it or whatever it is half a half a gallon and then i'll get a whole uh can of peanut butter crunchy peanut butter and put it in there too and i have a an entire thing of that that is the definition of gluttoness like if you look it up so you have the rhesus pieces and then you decide you need more peanut butter do you mix it together no just kind of like add it into the bite

holy shit you don't want to mix it in you want it clumpy is that when you have to beef up yeah that's bulking i guess you're just bulking fulking season what's the second answer no that's good enough that's okay yeah you're pretty much grossed out everyone but now i'm hungry when was the last time you experienced extreme anger uh during my relationship with taylor what would tick you off the most no i i'll tell you extreme anger so it was actually literally the last night that i saw her when she was at she was in you know in my apartment and I like flipped out and I was like I don't ever want

to see you again this is and like I don't so I don't like cut people down or anything but I just like got very pissed off and just like strongly said you know this is how I think this is how I feel and you kind of saw red like there was no

100% was there something that triggered it yeah she kept poking at me she knew how to push your buttons she knew how to push my buttons and that's tough I don't like what's your button to push? I don't know.

I don't even know the answer to that. But she did it. She did it. Smart girl. Maybe she wanted to push her buttons. She did. There's so many tests and like little things going on you have you know what's happening in a relationship. Yeah, you don't trust women.

Yeah, I don't trust myself. When was the last time you let pride get in the way of something? Like your ego. Every day. Do you have a big ego? I'm super prideful. No, I don't have a big ego. big ego i don't i don't think but said every egotistical person no you actually don't come off like a

narcissist and i i i've dated narcissist before so i'm well trained in narcissism uh but i am super prideful like i i i won't ask for help ever i think i can like if i just if i just try harder and which means like there's so many work nights that i like they're i'll work until 2 a.m. sometimes because i'm just like this person gave me this thing and i'm I'm like, I'm going to show, they don't think I can get this done. So literally, like, every day is a pride fight for me. But that probably helps you be successful. Lastly, like, we've talked about some of the stuff, your insecurities and anxieties.

What kind of, what do you do to escape your hell when you're having a dark day when you had a tough breakup? Like, what do you do to escape your hell? Drink. No. I mean, I do. but so like I said I play guitar that's like my place of Zen that's like how I escape and get away even if it's real shitty even if it's real shitty I can't get out of my head I'm like a constant thinker I have struggles like getting to bed and at night because of that so that's like the one way I'll like drink whiskey by myself I'll get drunk by myself at home and play guitar and like really late sometimes and just like get get away and it's how my brain like disconnects so i love that well thank you for visiting hell with me it wasn't so bad it wasn't so bad and good luck with everything i'm excited to see what happens in your future thank you you've taught me

that it's okay to sin because hell isn't so bad i guess you're part of the sinners welcome to the click there you go okay peace out You know,