Berner Phone - Des Bishop: Wedding Red Flags & Wooing Each Other

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

My boy toy! We finally open up about where we're at with wedding planning, he reveals his skincare routine, and we reveal each other's 7 deadly sins. I also share the first song he ever made for me. Enjoy

What is up little devils? We have a very special episode today. I'm currently on the Long Island Expressway with my boy toy, Desmond Bishop. But before we get to that, I have to let you guys know that I'm going to be in Irvine, California, Los Angeles. California, and Tempe, Arizona in the next two weeks. So go to Haniburr.com to grab ticks. And Des and I drive from West Hampton to New York City a lot, and we love a good car convo.

So I figured, let's let you guys in on our car combo. Des, welcome to hell. Oh, it's great to be back in hell. We're going to share something quite special with you guys. We teased it before. and we've never done it, but a big part of our relationship, especially when I was in the house filming, Des would send me funny videos of him singing.

I was trying to woo you with funny videos. I had this app that I was using a couple of times. We met, we had this, like, you know, like deep connection, and then you left, you know? There was no, like, freedom. It almost felt like you were in jail because you can't, you could only talk when you weren't working. We were connected through humor.

In fairness, Our big connection was through laughing. We did connect through laughing. Sending someone a singing video is quite balsy. Well, it wasn't a singing video. It was meant to be funny. I know, but you're still singing. I know, but it was auto tune.

It wasn't like, I wasn't like, I wasn't like sending you like, you are the sunshine of my la. I was sending you like a funny silly. Yeah, if guys sing seriously or play guitar seriously, there's an issue. No, this was a joke. And this joke was, so you know, you need to set up the, If you're going to play the song. I want to play you guys.

But no, but you can't play it until you set up the context. Okay, but the funny thing about these songs in general is they weren't just silly songs. They would be so catchy that they would get stuck in my head, stuck in his head. When he first brought me back to his house. Was it the first time? It was our second date. The second date. I came back to the house.

He couldn't find his remote control. And it was pretty funny because it's kind of awkward. It's like, let's watch TV and you couldn't find it. It kind of, you probably felt a little bit like. Like, damn it, this isn't great that I can't find the remote control. I never found it. No, we never found it. And I should have taken that to know that we're both pretty messy

and are going to lose a lot of things in our relationship. But material things are not important. That's what we learned from that. But yeah, couldn't find the remote control. I thought nothing of it because he in my head was perfect in every way. Remote control was missing for ages. Yeah. And that became like a running joke with me and you.

It was like, have you found the remote yet? Like, I never found it. Yeah, yeah. So it was missing for quite a long time. I think this is the first video you ever sent me, actually. Yeah, that was the first one. This is the first one. It's iconic.

No further introduction. Here it is. Girl, you're making me lose control. You're making me lose control. And I think you know what I really mean. I lost my remote control. It's been gone for five days. Where the fuck did it go?

You're making me lose my remote control. Are you coming with me between the cushions? And help me looking, because I want to watch seeing it again. MSNBC, you and me, please have. I think you should make an album. Can I break the fourth wall for a second and just say that? We haven't just listened to it. So we're breaking the fourth wall here.

You guys just listen to it. We have not just listened to it. I remember it. It's not fresh. You've been gone for four, five days. Where the fuck did it go? You're making me lose my remote control. Yeah.

I mean, all I can say is it. I just feel like. as far as like sending somebody silly videos you know people share memes and different things it's pretty high quality

well I think you need to put out an album of all your wooing songs because they're fucking amazing how many tries did that take that part I can't remember I can't remember I could tell you right now like actually I banged it out super quick or I could tell you it took me a day I can't remember

my my vague recollects is that it was it was a pretty quick improv because actually like that sounds like you just got it right yeah sometimes they just come out you know he did another one about frenemies that was pretty oh yeah that was yeah but you don't want to get too into that because there was a little bit of uh there's a little bit of drama behind that because he kind of knew what was going on in the house frenemies frenemies frenemies yeah but it the most important one was he used a song like this to propose to me so when I do interviews

and people like how do you propose I'd be like he sent me a song and they wouldn't really get it but you guys get it because it was a weird funny

it was a throwback to the wooing yeah it reminded me that you weren't wooing me anymore yeah but baby I can't woo you forever we were living together

the wooing is over and that's not to say that the romance was dead or the spice is gone we still make an effort but like the wooing so I brought the woo back you know

the the wu tank The Wu is not forever, like the Wu-Tang Clan said, but I brought the Wu back for the proposal. But if you just, if you don't have the context, it's a bit weird. We're never sharing the proposal song. And let's face it, it wasn't as good as. It wasn't as good.

It was the thought that kind of, it wasn't bad. But I don't remember it like the other ones. No. I can't even remember what the proposal song was. Neither can I. I can't remember it at all. You were so nervous that day. Well, I was up in the morning doing it.

Did you have a concept in you? your head? I didn't know. I was just kind of, I just all, you know, like I said, when we talked about it on girls got to eat, I had made the decision that I would do it on Valentine's Day, and then I was thinking of the way to do it. And then I was like, you know what, fuck, I want to wake her up? You know, it's like, it's a Valentine's Day. You want to say, happy Valentine's Day, you don't want to like wait until later in the day. It's like, I'm going to wake up, but happy Valentine's Day marry me, right? And then I thought of the song as like the intro, you know, but. And fun fact, because I was sleeping, he was just leaning over the, on the bed with

both his knees down. So he didn't really get down on one knee. Probably at that time. One knee was probably like a lower back problem. Had I torn my grind yet? No, I don't think I had. I think I was weeks away from tearing my groin. Oh, good.

Well, anyway, thank you so much for sending me those videos. I love them so much. They brought a lot of joy in my life. So we'll start you off light. I think this episode we're going to discuss a little bit about wedding planning because we've taken a break we've stepped away from the public eye for a bit and now we can joke and talk about what's really going on I also think the little devils have some good questions for us we're going to answer people want to know what your skincare routine is because your

skin looks fabulous I just use crappy moisturizer I don't have any skincare routine other than like the shitty vaseline moisturizer you know that you buy and CVS I just put it on my have you ever gone to facial before I've had facials but I I don't really think they do much to be honest do you think the skincare industry is a scam a scam a hundred percent oh hot take but you know I don't have any evidence on that I'm not like I'm not giving my scientific opinion on the the skincare industry but I do think that there's a lot of overpriced products that are giving people false hope I agree I think but I don't I don't have like you know any expert opinion on that and you know there could be some of these products that really do

make a difference but you know I I I definitely don't think enough for the prices that some of them are given but at the same time there's something about you pay a lot of money for a product and it has it make it feels like a certain way like I it feels like oh it feels so good like it's light or something it's like it feels good right it smells like wildflower it makes you feel good then fine you know if you have that disposable income fine you know that's what I think but like you know I'm just a guy I'm a typical man and i'm sure that there are an infinite number of opposing silly purchases that men make

that give them you know for example like on certain podcasts certain very popular sort of slightly more male focused podcasts a lot of the presenters push uh different vitamin products and uh you know protein products uh all like the majority of which are absolute total nonsense the powders there is a lot of false promises being made in the supplement industry as well as, in my opinion, the cosmetics industry. So I don't want to be seen to be shitting on the cosmetics industry as if I'm saying, oh, women are being duped. I think that we're all being duped on the false promises of health.

When you target people's insecurities, you can get them to do all crazy types of shit. I mean, with women, it's not that it's a complete scam, but like if there was a product that could make everyone not ever get wrinkles, don't you think everyone would use it? And everyone has different types of skin. Every guy has different hormones or different workout routines, whatever. Belongs or short, be aware when people are trying to just scam you off of your insecurities because you're scared.

And when you make decisions out of fear, you waste your money. You know, when I was doing Dance with the Stars, the makeup artist, I actually asked her, I was like, you know, I just put like the Vaseline, you know, aloe green one or the Coco one. on my face and it's fine like is that bad and she was like if you do not have a bad react like if you don't have an allergic reaction to that on your face there's nothing bad about it but of course i say that to other people i've said that to women and they're like no way yeah like they'll get pimples and shit well yeah but like that that that hasn't been the case uh for me and the reason the men's skincare industry is not booming is because men are not most men are not afraid of getting wrinkles and makes them distinguished well my understanding is that that that whole world is

you know men's sort of skin care products and certainly male Botax is getting more popular so I have no doubt that you know I think it's directly related to things you often talk about Instagram you know like privacy people are men as well as women are looking at their image a lot more than they used to and I think it's only makes sense that suddenly men become more paranoid about lines and different things that perhaps they weren't as focused on before but I definitely do I definitely do think that men still have more leeway when it comes to aging. Yeah.

100%. There is that old joke about how women will have a whole fucking skin care routine, face roller, serums, blood of a pig, put it on your face, who knows. And then men will take a towel that they also wipe their ass with and wipe their face and then be glowing. I mean, I think that's hyperbole, but I definitely think that men aren't as concerned about, like, over the years of people have said to me, like, I'll be like, I'll rub my face dry. No, you have to blot your face dry.

Yeah, I heard. Like how much, how much difference is the blotting or the rubbing going to really do to my face? And I'm sure there's some listeners that being like, oh, my God, you have to blot. Everybody knows that. But I'm not a blotter. I'm like a rubber. Noted. I didn't know that about you, baby.

Yeah, I don't blot. Oh, my God. Listen, everybody knows that about me. I don't blot. I've never been a blotter. I actually walk around. I just started with these, like, oil pads. They're basically just pieces of paper.

So in between sets, I get a little greasy, which is supposedly go for your. your skin but you just blot the grease off your face but that's because i'm the talent but i'm a serious sweater like every special i ever recorded like any live stand-up thing i ever recorded i'm like covered in sweat i'm just a sweater in general yeah i i think i sweat more than you to be honest i've never found you to be an excessive sweater thanks babe oh you're very welcome wow i feel so dainty right now but that's partially because you need to keep the bedroom at like 50 degrees you know this is like brought up the bedroom. This is one of the great challenges of a relationship is the temperature of the bedroom. And like, not that I think this is a hack subject, but I have seen people

bring this up before, but seeing as you're the first person I actually really lived with full time, it's funny to see some of the relationship cliches come to life because the bedroom temperature, like you like it a lot colder than I like it. Well, I run hot naturally because I'm related to Satan and I remember coming to the room once and it was like hot and I couldn't fall asleep and I'm like, wait, because it's a fucking oven in here and it's a weird concept of it definitely wasn't an oven. But I like it cold to then cuddle up with my comforter. Yeah, I know, but I just feel like we don't have the right comforter for the temperature that

you are like, we need like one of those like those silver things that they wrap people in to stop of having hypothermia, the temperature that, you know, like, I feel like a rescue team has to come in. This is why relationships are hard, because you could be compatible in so many things, but then to also be compatible at sleeping together, especially when your whole life you grow up sleeping alone, and then one day it's like, oh, you met your soulmate, and then you have to continue to sleep that comfortably with a living being next to you. I'm so spoiled. I got to the point where I'm like, I don't, I can't sleep with you in a queen.

Yeah, you're such a diva that it needs to be a king. Otherwise, there's just not enough distance between us while we sleep. But I also, you like to fall asleep with us cuddling on our sides where I fall asleep on my stomach. And in the beginning, you do things. But I fall asleep so fast, it doesn't matter anyway. All we got to do is cuddle and then seconds later, I'm asleep. And then you can do whatever you like. That's, I don't want to generalize, but I feel like most men, they fucking do that.

They're like, great time to, where I have to like count sheep, make sure my cat is purring on me. I have to rethink all the problems I've ever had in my life and how to solve them. I have to have imaginary arguments with anyone that I'm currently beefing with. I mean, let's face it. The sleeping part of our relationship, it's not that complicated because there's not that many hours where we sleep next to each other because you go to bed hours after me and I wake up hours after you. The great thing about you, I have to say,

is that like... I'll never cheat because I'm asleep. No. You don't... You don't... That's whatever. That's like you think. But you don't... When you, like, wake up in the morning,

like when I get up, like, you fall right back to sleep. Whereas, like, in the morning for me, like, once I'm up, I'm up. My favorite thing about Des is he will wake up with a literal breath of mine and he'll be like oh and I'm like how'd you just wake up and he goes I'm a hunter that's a joke I'm like a protector you know

you never know when you need to but I actually get so scared because I know you'll wake up and you wake up just from movement not even a sound like you can sense my mother was the exact same though it's crazy like I'd be trying to sneak in drunk when I was like 13 you know and like

I'd be like halfway up the stairs and she'd be on the landing like where were you let me smell you breath. What the fuck? How did you sense me? So I think the listeners are all wondering and need to know, how's your relationship with butter going?

How are you guys? Because we know that it was a little rough in the beginning. She has trust issues. She doesn't like most men because she's smart. Where are you guys at now? I mean, you know, whatever. Butter's butter. She's an awkward cat.

Well, Hannah, let's call a spade of spade. I'm not the only person in your life. And every other person in your life has what would be considered a critical. view of butter butter loves me and only me but i've basically told her we have to let this man into our life you've been feeding her every morning she lets you pet her when you feed her and i think she kind of likes to smell your foot sometimes i think that's huge for you and her you know it's taking her very long time to trust she loves you like you know she's a cat that's like cuddles with you and nobody else you know that's there's what else is there to say about butter

That's why I love monogamous relationships. I have two people that can only love me. Yeah, but I don't run away when other people come into our apartment. You just go under the table. I'm like, that's just him. I'm not comfortable with, I'm really not comfortable with any comparisons between me and butter. Hide under the blanket and people come in. There's this huge lump in the bed.

I'm like, that's does. He's not into socializing right now. I wish you could do that and for it to be socially acceptable. Like dogs, when they say dogs don't get along with other dogs, it's like, oh, sorry she doesn't get along with other humans but she's great i promise just don't go near her yeah ooh okay before we get to wedding stuff i saw this article in the new york times about how cocktails that are non-alcoholic are really starting to boom i don't know if you saw in new york restaurants there's now like a mocktail list which i love because there's a lot of people who have

become sober curious they're calling it after the pandemic but um there was a lot of drinking going on I think a lot of people are trying to clean up their act a little after the darkness of the pandemic. What's your opinion on sober curiousness? I would say I'm sober curiousness. I don't know what sober curiousness is. I mean... For people who don't know, Dess has been sober since he's 19 years old. I'm like sober by necessity, not at a curiosity.

So I don't know, am I the right guy for what is sober curiousness? But as far as mocktails go, I mean, I'll have a mocktail every now and then if it's like a place where... If there's a place where everybody's having a, you know, like if it's like a cocktaily looking place, I'll try a mocktail for fun. But more than that, I just find them to be like overly sweet. Yeah. And like they disappear too quickly and I'd rather just have like a water. But, you know, I've had some fun mottails.

I think a lot of them are too sweet or strong because it's made to cover up alcohol. And then there is these like sober, for sober curious people, these like non-alcoholic wines and beers. But for me, I don't really like the taste of alcohol. I said it. I'm a four-year-old. I make a lemon base. Like, I just tasted a lemon. Yeah, but in fairness, none of them taste like alcohol. They taste like all the stuff minus the alcohol. I like grape juice. I just think when you normalize having more apple juice around, you know? But maybe it's fine. It's fine to have apple juice. But, uh... You many bars I go to when I ask for apple juice and they laugh at me and they don't have any?

Yeah, I mean, it's not a common, but that's more to do, I think, but it's not a common purchase at a bar. I do think that there's a wide range between people who are trying to live healthy, like going to yoga, eat healthy, and then people who want to party. And it's almost like you can't be friends with your friends who want to party if you're not partying. But maybe they're trying to get it in between where you can go to the bar. You don't have to get fucked up. You could have mock tales. But I don't know if they'll ever be a thing.

Well, it's a thing. It doesn't require, like most of the things in the modern world, they put a label on a thing that already exists. you know some people trying to cut back on their alcohol they're not like it doesn't require sober curious it just requires like I'm cutting back on my drinking I'm trying not to drink as much oh my god you nailed it so sober curious is basically like Gwyneth Paltrow getting divorced calling it conscious uncoupling got it yeah but you know they're coming out non-actually it's out already non-alcohol kinness so I'm going to try that I don't generally you know in the recovery world there's a little bit of a negative attitude towards um not mocktails because mocktails are

literally just juices. But there is a negative attitude towards non-alcoholic beers and non-agolic wines. And I think some of the argument is it's kind of like triggering or perhaps like give you a little bit of euphoric recall. And then of course some of them end up having a small percentage of alcohol anyway, but because you don't, but I think the modern ones have none at all. But anyway, there is a non-accohol Guinness coming out or is out already drafts stout. And I am going to try that because I was always, I always said I would try.

a non-alcoholic Guinness if it existed. I have no desire to drink any other non-acolic beer, but I will try that. Do you, it's funny, do you think it's crazy that I've never seen you drunk? No. People who drink are around a, like a drinking lifestyle,

think a lot more about alcohol and its importance than I do. It's a non-a, it's not a factor in my life. The only time Des really saw me drink, I mean, else occasionally, but most of the time it just caused me to go to sleep. early yeah like last night I passed out at eight because I had one sangria so

passed out in the car and I couldn't I couldn't get you into bed but then you got into bed last night without waking me up it was miraculous I was so scared you got into bed without waking me it's because Romeo was snoring really loud I think he covered for me Romeo's basically are like night humidifier our jungle noise to get us to go to sleep is Romeo for farting and snoring. Snoring. He's a big snorer.

Okay, time to get to wedding planning. Babe, how is your wedding planning going? Well, you know, we got through the initial phase, which was a couple of options. Which was an engagement, getting engaged? No, but also we were going to go for the rush wedding. Yes. And that didn't happen. Thank goodness we didn't, though.

Yeah, I mean, I'm glad. Well, you know, funny enough, I'm pro and con on the fact that we didn't because, Because had we done it, it would be done already. So we, and because of the timing of it, we would have had less invites to do. Because it was during COVID. Yeah, like none of the Irish would have been able to come and stuff. Which, it's not that I don't want the Irish at my wedding, but I kind of like would just love to not have the extra invite pressure. In theory, we like the idea of like a garage wedding, something super.

easy something super affordable but like most things go once i started to look into it i was like what do we want to do but i i guess because any that ended up being quite a stressful time like after we got engaged and i think possibly the the the organization of that waiting might have been too much for what was essentially a fledgling relationship now it was a you know we had a we had a like a like a whirlwind romance and we got engaged quite quickly which all felt fine it didn't feel rushed actually but it was quite quick uh had we then thrown uh wedding prep on top of that at a time where we were getting used to living together and dealing with all the shit that we were dealing with i i think it might have just been too much so i'm glad that we were able to take a

break from the did you envision that when you proposed to someone you were going to propose quick? In our situation, it was quite, it felt quite natural and everything. But like I said before, but I don't think we've talked about it on this podcast, I didn't really propose thinking about getting married. I just wanted to propose and state my intent, but actually the getting married part, I don't know how to, it seems strange to say, but the getting married part, but the getting married part wasn't really like on my mind it was just like being married to you was on my mind but actually getting married wasn't actually funny you brought that up because i felt the same way about it we're like we loved each other so much and we were so into it that it was like the next step had to be

like he a ring involved but we didn't think about anything after that yeah but i i'd say that's pretty common you know more than not people spend quite a bit of time engaged engaged you know It's like a promise ring almost, like, especially because we hadn't had sex yet. So you wanted to let me know we were saving ourselves for marriage. Yeah. Well, anyway. My butthole. Sorry.

Sorry, you've caused me to lose my train of thought. Wait, so wedding planning. How's it going? Well, when we first got engaged, it was kind of like a bit of, there was like a lot of momentum towards, you know. organizing the wedding initially there was that like let's do it straight away and we had like a nice little setup which fell through right um and then we kind of felt like shoo thank god because now we have time to breathe but actually you kind of stayed on the momentum and you and your mom really um got a venue pretty fast after that for next year for 2022 yeah which was great you picked out a dress

really fast which was great and then it was kind of like all right that's that's really quite a lot that we locked down pretty fast yeah i feel like i got the hard part over it's like the dress the venue the man so i haven't really got that much into thinking about it again because actually there's this whole thing of getting our our life back together from the pandemic i mean certainly like in terms of uh like comedy it's like let's let's let's sort that out and then lockdown the wedding but I do feel uh I feel like now I have to really make a decision on who I'm going to invite oh god you know when your phone just falls into the the death cavity of the oh god my finger okay we're fine anyway um so I have been talking to people about invites and a lot

of people are like fuck the fuck this fuck that it's your wedding who gives a fuck but you don't want to have a great day cause more drama you know but it's going to cause drama there's just like the the invites is a real drama and you get mixed reports from people like some people are like fuck it you invite who you want to invite you those are the people you want there and the people who are offended can go you know screw themselves and then you talk to other people and they're like i know you have to you know this person has to go that person has to go and so it it Or people are like, don't invite anyone you're not going to be talking to in five years. And to be honest, 30 years old is a very transitional stage for a lot of like work, friendships.

You start getting less close to, let's say, like, your party friends, if you're not partying as much. And or like if you get a new job, your coworkers are gone, like, there's a lot of transitions. If you're less friends with like your single girls because you're doing more coupley stuff, I don't fucking know. Long so short, I'm inviting people who I think are going to be so fun at the wedding. and I don't care if I'm going to talk to them in five years or not. If they're giving me good vibes right now, we're going to vibe. I know, but, babe, this is not true because the reality is that we're trying to keep the numbers lower. So you're not just throwing caution to the wind on the invite list.

Well, we're going to, we're aiming for 150. The more you think about inviting people, the more you understand why people go for big weddings. But at the same time, you remember why you wanted a small one in the first place, which is like you just didn't want it. And it's nothing to do with finances. It's just like you want the simplicity of like not a lot of people and less organization. Yeah. The problem is when you have groups of friends.

Because when you have groups of friends, that means everyone knows you have people in your group of friends who you like more than others. But if you, God forbid, invite some and you don't fight the whole group, that's when problems come. That's why you shouldn't be friends with groups of people. Yeah, I mean, you know, it just becomes a lot. Do you like going to weddings? No, I don't like going to weddings. Because I don't want the guy like biting the guards. Like, that's, I don't want, like, my uncle.

We're not doing that. Yeah, we're not. We're not doing that. We're not throwing the bouquet. We're not doing the garter thing. Well, I was about to ask you on my phone, um, what are some wedding nose? We're not doing. Well, that, that's three of them.

Well, we're not having the like, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the bridegroom. We're not having that guy. We're not, we're not doing that. Um, we're not, well, we are, obviously, we're not doing the, uh, the groom and the mother dance which you know would have been great if we could but we're not doing it and I'm not getting a replacement I don't think I'm you get a replacement no like I could do it

Joe Gibney I could you know like Joe Gibney yeah is like my Irish mom and I could dance with her but I'd rather I'd rather just not you could dance with her throughout the night we don't have to make it like a moment no no I know I know but I guess some people would do that you know just because like some people like the tradition of I don't need a dance with my dad that's not our You're not going to do that?

We're like buddy, buddy. I'm not like... Are you not going to do that? No, I don't... I think there's a weird, like, oh, the dad is now giving you off to another man to... Like, my dad and I have always been, like, best friends. It's not this, like, daddy's girl type bullshit. I don't like that stuff.

Okay, that's fun. Now, I have to tell you, just for the record in this conversation. Yeah. If my mother was alive, I would have done the dance. I mean, it was a big moment for my brother. When my brother danced with my mom at his wedding, you know, they were both crying and I was crying. I mean, it was... It was, that was a, that was a nice moment.

I'm not against. That, by the way, it's not a wedding tradition. I'm against. I just, you know, my mom's not around. But I definitely would have. My dad and I have too much of a silly relationship. I would, he would, like, I would end up, like, kneeing him in the shin, and then he's, like, like, pushes me. And then, like, yeah.

But then, you know, just to play devil's advocate, you know, you may underestimate the significance of the day. And I, I wouldn't be against the sense of. marking the occasion and sharing that moment with your father. He may actually have had times thought about that moment himself. You know, I mean, I understand that you have like a silly relationship with your father, but, you know, you might want to read, you may not want to do the dance, which is totally fine. But you might want to revisit that just in terms of, you know.

But is it going to make you sad that I'm dancing with my, my, no, no, I would make me sad if you chose not to do the father of the bride dance. I also just think people watching you dance is fucking awkward. Yeah, but it's only for a couple of seconds than everyone joins the floor normally. Okay. You know? Because that's actually my nightmare. Like, I'll talk in front of 400 people, but to watch me do an awkward slow dance with my dad makes me feel awkward.

Yeah, mentally right now, thinking about it. But, you know, at the time, it's a very emotional day. I mean, it's an emotional moment. But again, like I said, I will make no judgments on the decision that you make, but that would definitely be a tradition that I wouldn't be, I would have been involved in, you know, if my mom was alive. but I definitely, I would think it's nice to see you there dancing with your dad. I mean, it's like, it's a pretty, like, I enjoyed watching your brother dance with your mom at your brother's wedding. I mean, it was a nice thing. It's like a nice moment.

So I asked you, how's the wedding planning going, kind of as a joke, because I am doing the wedding planning. I do want to let people know what I have so far, because I don't always tell Des. Every now and then, he's kind of like, whatever you want, whatever you want, and then I'll tell him, like, a fun idea I have, and he's like, absolutely not. So he kind of doesn't care But then he does But our vibe I'm going for Is Brooklyn on the beach So it's basically going to be on the ocean

But with a very Not corny Not like Navy White Hamptons Type of vibe I want it to be laid back Or maybe like sea glassy Wildflower that kind of vibe What do you say Brooklyn by the beach

Like what's Brooklyn about what you just said Okay now you're putting me on the sky No I'm just curious I don't I feel like a Brooklyn wedding like it looks like maybe like vintagey um like just not as stuck up as the hamptons oh right yeah i mean it you know i mean it wouldn't be anyway because my cousins are gone you don't have to worry about the wedding not being stuck up i mean i think we're going to get sponsored by dunkin donuts

you know it's like it's not like it's not going to be a stuck up wedding you know like one of my Cousins is like, I gotta go, bro, I'm doing overtime and sanitation. You know, it's not going to be like, uh, I was saying, you know, these Hampton's weddings, it's like, oh, there's going to be starfish and there's going to be, but it was never going to be that. Brooklyn on the beach was a good, like, what's it? It's alliteration. Illiteration.

Oh, I fucking love alliteration. It literally gives me an orgasm when I do alliteration. That's why I try to do it in all my titles of Burning Hell, and when I don't, it ruins my day. Anyway, when are you going to write your vows, babe? We can discuss. This is very interesting This whole writing your vows thing I didn't know this was like a thing

I mean I know we're not doing like a church thing But I'm actually The one part about church weddings is like I was quite happy with the The vows But I didn't realize when people stopped using The church that then they were also like Writing their vows

The original vows as they were I was very happy with them Oh you might want to do a traditional vow Yeah but I'm fine We haven't discussed that We'll discuss this other Which I always love when suddenly the first time we discussed something is with a microphone. But my personal opinion, and this is just I'm putting it out there for you to digest,

is even though we're not going traditional, which I'm not, I'm traditional on a couple of things like who should give speeches. And then I quite like, you know, it's funny because I guess because I was an altar boy. And even though I'm so anti-church now, I was in altar, I was around a lot of weddings. and I don't know like in my mind that's getting married like to having to hold a sickness you know like I like that to me like that that's the one traditional part is like that that's love that babe that's getting married to me babe yeah it's so cute and then in the speech that's like I feel like in the speech that's when you get into the oh so you want to do a separate speech like at the ceremony yeah well this whole concept of the things that were being said in the vows was like what that is literally for later because dan o jinny didn't do a speech no they didn't no okay interesting interesting i also feel like as to stand-up comics it's like a lot if we were to say our own stuff like i not that it would put pressure on us but it could turn

into something we don't want it to be are you saying that we were going to get competitive with our vows no but we might get a little joky or we might try to entertain the crowd more than for I also felt that like what I also find weird is when people do their own vows is like the vows are not the same yeah that's really funny one vow is like about about staying through the hard times and the other one's vow is about like making sure that the bed is made every morning but you know I I I realize through the vows they're just not compatible they're getting in a fight about the vows yeah like right in the middle of things I hold on hold on celebrate what do you mean but I I assume that

not shocking each other with the vows. Obviously, they've disgusted, you know? Really? Did you have to bring that up? Yeah, it's like, I won't fart after 9 p.m. But anyway, it's not that. We're joking. But, uh, yeah, I just like the same vows. What's your feeling on that? Oh, yeah. I mean, the ceremony, let's

be honest, is the most it's kind of boring. It's a little boring. Well, it's, it's beautiful in that, like, the wedding part. Yeah, if you just stick to the bits that matter, which is essentially like, marry these mother Fuckers and obviously you walking out

That's like the big moment is you walk in out Cut the fat It's like a comedy special Cut the fat Walk down look beautiful Don't lose too much weight that people like Whoa she's gotten too skinny You walk down the aisle

Right Don't be too tan Ceremony Ceremony is a beautiful moment Kiss the bride Everybody claps And then you walk back out And like let's fucking party

Okay this is my question to you Tongue or no tongue Oh it's no tongue You don't need to be like sticking your tongue Why do I feel like when he says you could kiss a bride, I'm going to try tongue and you're going to be like, stop, stop. Yeah, don't, babe, don't make me recoil. Don't do a joke.

Like, because you're such a fuck, you know, like, your sense of humor sometimes is so silly that, like, you'll think it's hilarious in that moment. But then they'll just be a load of pictures of me looking at you being like, why now? Why do you? Like, what's the matter? Why now? Hello? No, I'm probably not going to want to mess up my makeup. I think the kiss should be like, like, like gently passionate.

it and not that long. Are you going to tip me over kind of thing, like the movies? I mean, I'm certainly not going to think about it that much. I've got to let it be natural. I heard some couples will practice it. I think we go natural. We see what happens.

I think we go natural, but I just, I beg you not to do anything silly. As a man who really hates PDA, but I feel like I've conquered some of your fears, are you going to feel weird kissing me in front of all those people? Hannah, we were on a

fucking TV show making out all the time. What planet are you living on to ask me about PDAs? We actually got torn apart on the internet for fucking PDAs, so don't act like PDAs are a problem in our relationship. It's not PDAs, it's just PDA. Public display of

affection. No, I know, but we had many of them. Sorry, should be. P.D.'s A? I mean, it was multiple. I'm talking about the plural. What's the plural of public displays of affection? Yeah, PDSA. Oh, wow.

Wow, I'm really excited for you to see my dress. Yeah, I mean, that's like a big, you know, another tradition I think is great is the seeing you for the first time. Now, here's a book, here's an area of great controversy, which needs to be discussed. So happy to bring it up. Your brother's wedding, they did a first look, which apparently is the new thing. Yes. Because they want to capture that moment on campus. camera. The reason for the first look is you get that moment on camera so then you don't have to take

and you take photos after that and you don't have to take photos after the ceremony so you miss the cocktail party. That's the reason for the first look. Yeah. So I understand that but the problem is that it's kind of fake. Like in a way, I feel like that's all about the photo and the video which the one thing that bothers me about weddings and I know everyone says it's really important is the emphasis on the photographs to the point where it's like not fun it's like a job yeah and I am even though I know that some people will disagree with me on this I think you can get enough photos we're on the beach I think you can get the photos that you need 15 minutes after the ceremony is done i don't need a gazillion

set up photos for that after part i'm willing to sacrifice that 15 minutes uh after the you know the wedding because we're right there see you only need part of the problem is that like yeah and also don't forget the a lot of that comes from people they go from the church to the to the reception so like there's like this long period of time like we can bang out 15 minutes of photos right after the wedding their first look was special because Daniel was so nervous and excited and full of emotions and he's normally very like put together logical guy but he was feeling it all so he's freaking out and someone taps him for the first look he turns around and it's his best friend jack in a wedding dress yeah that was hilarious it was hilarious he could

didn't even handle it because he was too thrown but they had it on video it was great but I agree that I want the I want to see your face when I walk down the aisle yeah I want that and if you don't cry we're going to have a problem babe don't put the pressure now you said if you don't cry so I'm not going to cry I know you know like I was kidding I was kidding and I'm a cry or any I'll cry so you don't need to worry about the crying part but you you know now that you've talked about it you've ruined it I feel like I knew how much I loved you when you were crying during watching love on the spectrum. And it was the cutest thing.

I love when men cry. I love making them cry. I'm down with the tradition of seeing you for the first time walking down. I also, to be honest, man, the first look is all about the camera. I don't want to feel like I'm on camera when I see you for the first time. I don't want to feel like I'm shooting reality TV show. Yeah, you know what I mean? I don't want to think like, oh, this is all about capturing the camera.

moment that I see Hannah for the first time. No. You want to be existing in a real moment. I want to be in the moment. Yeah. I want to be in a wedding moment. Okay, tell me the truth. Is there any part of you? No. No, you're right. That wants me to take your name. Oh, I do not care about the name. I don't care. Why? Because I was talking to my other friend the other day and he was like, that would be an issue for me. And I was like, let's unpack that. Why? I don't know. I just, I don't. I was like, what do you want ownership of me?

I guess I'm more of a feminist than I am not and I don't get the whole name thing if you said to me I want to take your name I'd be like fine but also you not taking my name does not do anything to me doesn't bother me at all I do think weirdly enough our children I would think it's weird if you insisted on going like Bishop

Burner but but that's a discussion I don't think we should do Bishop a burner, I further fucking more, think they just should be burner. Well, that's a conversation. That's a conversation we'll be having. But that's like a, like, I am intrinsically

like that women and men, they're different, they're not, but they should be have equal opportunity and I haven't fully understood the tradition of why like, the man's name needs to continue like, I don't know. Well, I don't. They were birthed for my fucking vagina. I understand. That's like

that, but that would be a conversation you taking my name or not i don't care our children that's another thing and and to be honest there and that would also be because that is now a thing and that that will actually be a thing that we will then be discussing yeah for the rest of our lives because people will always say why did the kids take your name no i love the name bishop i think it's a beautiful name i would take hana bishop sounds beautiful um i mean it doesn't sound that different to your own name it doesn't sound the different same initials for what i've heard because my mom went to leo slash burner and she said it was a fucking headache.

I've heard people who can't go on their honeymoons because they didn't legally change their name right. It's a whole mess. The names are stressful. But I do think that there is sometimes a case where your name dies. You know what I mean? Like no one in your family has boys and your names just die.

Yeah. Where it makes me sad that like, oh, why can't this family then have the girl take the name? But I don't know. It's, um... Well, you know, my brother has two bishop boys. Yeah. If your father only had girls and he was deeply concerned about no burners existing, you know, I would be open to doing that because of that reason.

Oh, you're so cute. But like in the, in the, because I think that there's going to be some burners in Indiana. I don't really think it's an issue for us. I'm fine with them getting your last name because whenever they get into trouble, I'm going to be like, they're such bishops. Well, you're going to say that anyway because they always blame the other. You know, you always blame the other side. Like, like, I'm not going to say.

I mean, which relationship. I watched other families, and, like, all the negative attributes always get attributed to one family and all the positives to the other. The problem is, I feel like you and I are quite similar, where when our kid is being obnoxious, talking too much, and being a sarcastic asshole, we're like, okay, I don't know who. Yeah, I mean, it really all depends. Like, the one thing I don't know, because I had brothers only, and then my brothers only had two boys, like, he's had boys. Yeah, so many boys. Like, I just don't know what a female version of, like, our family. I just, I just, I just, I, well, yeah, hopefully not.

Oh, my gosh. Well, if we have. In an ideal world, they'd be more like your mom. Stop. Your mom's probably listening to this podcast in heaven. Oh, well, that's the least of her problem. She would have just watched a bit of doggy style only two hours ago. So because it's bringing hell, we have to end with my final game that I love to play, called The Seven Deadly Sins.

Seven Deadly Sins. So the way this one's going to be unique is we're going to say what we think each other's is deadly sin is. Okay. What do you think I'm greedy about? What? Cat pets. All right. I'm going to pet my cat all the time, all day long, all night long.

You're greedy about your mornings. You love the morning. You want to take in every moment of the morning, and I'm so envious of you because the mornings are my nightmare. I wake up, full of anxiety, what's the day going to bring, scared in a fetal position in my bed, hoping the morning is over. and then once the morning ends that I'm stressed that I didn't have a good morning. What? Oh, this is so easy.

What are you gluttonous about? I'll go first. Des is gluttonous about ice cream. Yes, 100%, 100,000%. Even to the point that, like, it's not just that he likes sweets. He wants ice cream. Like, I could put cakes, cream puffs. I want to say cream pops, like as if it's something we have all time.

Cookies, he's going for the ice cream. that's all he wants what am i gluttonous about yeah yeah obviously you're a little your your greedy and gluttonous would sleep you know but you you do sleep a lot indeed you do thanks babe i like to get my 14 hours in oh when was the last time each we've each experienced wrath i'll go first the last time you experienced wrath was earlier in this trip when Waze recommended something that you disagreed with. I've actually not seen you get bad road rage at all, ever. Oh, yeah, but I've had it since we've been together.

But you've told me that you've had it. Never when I'm in the car, though, which is kind of you. No, you just get my gentle seethingness of somebody sticking to the speed limit on Dune Road, somebody doing 25 in West Hampton Dunes. My Papa, Nana's husband, Nan's still got his husband, has the cutest world rage because he won't curse,

but he'll be like this old Italian guy being like, this meatball head. Look at his me, bullhead. You don't always call him a me boy. And you just kind of like to say the F word under your breath, which I think is adorable.

When was the last time I experienced wrath, babe? Honestly, babe, I don't know. I don't know when you... I haven't really seen you experience wrath. He's right. I'm more of a crier. When was the last time we were sloths? I wanted to be a sloth today.

You're always a sloth. You're either insanely busy or sloughing. There's no in-between with you. Des is never a sloth. Des will be slothy for maybe a couple hours, and then we have to go on a walk. So, Des is a full-on hyper-labrador retriever, and I am a fat cat.

Yeah, you know, you're just like, you're not good at the in-between. It's like insanely busy. and then, you know, like nothing. It's like, come on, let's do something. It's like, no, I'm having a mental health day. You know. Also known as the weekend.

Yeah, just like a day off. Okay, what's our celebrity crush? Crushes. I don't have a celebrity crush these days. You own my celebrity crush. Oh, thanks, babe. No, your celebrity crush is J-Lo. No, she is not my celebrity crush.

Absolutely not. I once admired her ass, and you have inflated my, inflated my my like for J-Lo she's definitely not my celebrity crush no way I put Megan Fox is like way way way way higher on the list than J-Lo

just I just oh you liked Monica Balucci yeah back in the day yeah she was one of my biggies Kelly Brooke British kind of celebrity was she brunette yeah she brunette with a big ass I think Holly Berry was a crush of mine

a period of time well everyone has a crush on Halliberry I do too my celebrity do you know my celebrity crushes no I don't really have that many celebrity crushes I used to like Channing Tatum when I was when he was younger

because I like guys of blue eyes who like have swag I'm not that up you know I mean whatever he was in Magic Mike right yeah and Hunger Games no he wasn't in Hunger Games no he's not that much of an actor to be in hunger games he only does like who is the main guy in hunger games john hutchinson or something all right

and will feral i'm just kidding i'll be fine but i do love will feral he's one of my faves okay daz we've gone on a journey oh that's it literally and figuratively yeah that was what that's how burning hell ends no i know but i don't know why you you stay so strict to the

you're so rigid to the i'm not rigid if you take it where you want to take it you can go anywhere do you have any other thoughts no well i enjoy when we're talking about our stuff i don't i don't i'm not i i don't like pointing out what you're greedy about it's not my is there anything else about us you want to talk about it's not our my area do you have any other compliments you want to give me no i just want to talk like two normal human beings not not not sorry sometimes podcasts have segments i know but that That was a guided segment about us. No, I understand, but that's, like, I, I'm not, you know, I'm not, like, I'm, I'm not, like, too into pointing out anything bad about.

I'm taking this out, but biggest diva guest I've ever. Final question for the listeners is, what do you do to cope with your hell when you're going through it? Like, I, you know, I meditate. I, um, You know, exercise, talk to people, if it's particularly bad. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not as quick to call somebody as I am to tell somebody who's going through it that they should call somebody. I don't follow that advice as, as quickly as I give it. But, you know, I'll call.

I have some people I would call if it's particularly bad. Go for swim. You know, I try to do something to change my state. It's the one thing I took from Tony Robbins, even though I think he's a total charlatan, but his whole change your state thing I found pretty practical in that like so often, no matter how complicated something is or no matter how strong the feeling is, there may be some deeper solutions that are necessary. There may be more complicated stuff you need to work through,

but often it can be a little bit easier or even like completely change your mood. by just doing something to distract yourself from what's going on. And you can amazingly often you can get quite a break from the intensity of what you're feeling by literally just doing something else. Like going for swim or going for a jog or having a cold shower, you know, just some thing that just kind of like snaps you out of it. And then I think you get maybe just a touch of perspective

or maybe like an ounce of distance from what you're feeling that you you know it might be that little bit easier which of course I also give advice like when people are arguing is like how much of this argument can be dealt with right now

and how much of it will be easier to deal with if you stepped away from the emotion of that moment the adrenaline or the you know the whatever hormones have been secreted from the conflict if you could step away for a half an hour just go for a walk

do something different and come back to it, how much more objective could you be about... Do you believe then that it's okay to go to bed angry? Well, I don't... The whole go to bed, you know, I don't... Like, sometimes it's just like, you're not going to resolve it before you go to bed, so why try to deal with it? You know what I mean?

Because possibly part of the problem is you're, like, really tired. So, like, this whole thing of, like, never go to bread angry. I understand. It's like, it's not bad advice, but sometimes it's... like why are you going to like make why are we going to try to like this has to be resolved now when actually asleep in itself might be the thing when you wake up in the morning and you well specifically guys give a fuck because he gets really tired after 9 p.m.

yeah and I I'm fine with that like my circadian rhythm is I wake up at fucking 6 a.m. when I don't want to but I get tired at 9 o'clock it's not the ideal circadian rhythm for a comedian. The Tony Robbins advice of like changing change your state. That's what he said. It's interesting, unless you have serious depression, and then you literally can't change your state. It's exhausting, but it is true just sometimes the littlest thing,

like brushing your teeth. Yeah, like I said, like this is just like, you know, I never give people advice about, like, clinical depression or whatever the official term is these days. For somebody who thinks that they're having some sort of acute mental health crisis, I don't have any advice for that because I don't think that I've ever had what could be perceived as clinical depression, like an inescapable state of mind.

I don't think I've had that. I've never felt completely imprisoned by what's going on for me. So jelling. So I give the advice based on like, you know, what's practical for the shit that I've dealt with in my life. I don't have, I may also have just such an intense tolerance for emotional pain that I don't realize I've been depressed half my life.

You know, but that's, kind of a joke but anyway long story short that's just one of the many things that i do to deal with my quote unquote personal hell i just think sometimes when you're going through like really difficult stuff like relationship loss or death of a parent or you know any of these very serious things like i don't know if it matters whether you say i'm depressed because of it or if it's really just the intensity of that emotion but like you know the change of state thing it I'm not saying it heals the depression but it can actually give you maybe like a touch of relief yeah it's almost like when you can't

fall asleep because you get stuck in a brain spiral and you're stuck in bed so you can't really do anything else so you like just can't fall asleep where you wake up in the morning and you're fine it's easy to think yourself into it that it's way worse than it is if you're stuck in a certain situation with your head. I do think you're right. You don't suffer from depression at all. You're a naturally very uppity guy. And I think if you did suffer from depression, it would make our relationship a lot harder because I do suffer from depression at times. And you've inspired me to change states when I wouldn't have. And in the moment, I hate you for it.

You'll be like, let's take a walk. Let's go in the water. And I'll be like, ugh. But most of the time, you're right but i mean but can you like i this is just i'm just this is a curiosity but can you a hundred percent say that that's depression or is that something like like like how you know how do you know lazy no i'm no i'm actually curious like how do you know like how do you say depression it's a mindset where you nothing brings you joy you don't feel like the days worth living you are you feel like there's a hundred pound monkey on your back and your thoughts are very negative and it's it's a mindset that I've been in before and I know when it's not with me and do they so in a situation where I'm like come on let's do something because I'm not trying to get you

to do it because I think you're depressed I literally am just like trying to motivate you to get up but like is that like a thing that can be alleviated by doing something or is that like a thing that's said like oh it like temporary temporarily can make me feel better to change my state and to be with you and like take a nice walk and stuff like that it does help because normally when you're sitting somewhere you're in a certain state um but sometimes depression is also like you need to rest like you need a certain amount of time For me, the way I get out of depression, it's never like a walk or like a one therapy session that you're like, oh, aha, aha moment. Depression is like time goes by and eventually you stop thinking about your depression and it's just not there and it's not a thing. But when it's there, it's very loud and it's hard. And depression and anxiety for me play together.

They have a good time together. so it's normally not one without the other too much of one causes the other yeah well i mean i have heard that that you know like a particularly chronic anxiety leads to depression yeah which is what i've experienced um but i've been getting out of my depression and that has been fun for me and i've noticed that i've been socializing more i've been eating a little healthier i've been working out more but it's it's very hard to force yourself out of depression you just have to keep taking care of yourself yes and you were proactive with the getting the therapist and everything yes i got a therapist because also it's hard to be in a relationship when you find yourself struggling mentally because you

also want to be available for your partner emotionally um even if you're not there for yourself sometimes or like love your partner even if you're not loving yourself but i do think that going through hard times with that's why people are like oh relationships are never perfect and it's like you know shit because lives aren't perfect like it's not like you're you find this great person and suddenly nothing goes wrong in your life like i was going through my own stuff that does just happen to be on the ride for where there's ups and downs but we survived oh yeah i mean that was that was that time was quite stressful but I mean, we were the right people for each other at that time.

Yes. Des, thank you so much for coming on the pod. I love you so much. Thanks for opening up about the wedding. And Little Devils, thanks for asking him questions. Some were mine that I just accused them of being yours. Des, where can people follow you, watch you, listen to you, go to your shows. Give me the goods.

I'm at Desbishop on Instagram. Des Bishop 5 on TikTok. Whoever those four Desbishop's world that got there before me. And I'm at the comedy cellar all the time. And he's going to be in Ireland. Oh, yeah. I'm going to be on a plane in a couple hours. And, of course, the traffic only got worse.

I mean, we saved boring your listeners. But, like, the traffic has only gotten worse. And now I actually don't know if I'm going to be able to get back to the apartment and go to the airport. So we may have to adjust our plan. Wow. The drama. The drama. Well, we love you guys so much.

And we'll talk to you later. Bye.