Berner Phone - Des Solves Your Problems

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

Des is solo this week, giving advice to the Dialers on everything from how to handle a straight man making too many gay jokes to whether you should bring a gift to a destination wedding.   Call (917)... 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail!   FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5   FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/   Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com

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Starting point is 00:02:40 a equivalent of $15 a month, new customer offer for first three months only than full price plan options available. Taxes and AMP, fees extra, see MintMobile for details. Hi, it's Hannah Burner. And Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner,
Starting point is 00:02:57 If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. Hello, my little dialers, or my grande dialers, if you prefer to be a big dialer. Welcome to another episode of Burnerphone. I'm solo. Today, it's just me and Nicole. Nicole on the ones and twos. And we're doing an advice episode. I'm coming in stressed.
Starting point is 00:03:26 I've had a busy two weeks on. unexpectedly, and I'm not used to coming in with like a thousand other things going on, but I am, so I apologize if I'm coming across as frazzled. But it's all good news. Unfortunately, things I can't say yet, but all good news. But for those that were wondering, even though we're so organized these days, that we're quite ahead. So if you're listening to this, it's been two weeks since I re-recorded my special, which hopefully, will be announced by that's by the time this comes out hopefully it will be announced that it's it's going to be on hulu but if it isn't then you guys got the inside scoop that's all i'm saying
Starting point is 00:04:10 because uh officially as i say it now it's not public information but i'm pretty sure it's going to be public by the time this comes out but if it's not oopsie poopsie on me the dialers deserve the inside scoop on my life so uh had to re-record for hulu because there was just a couple of sort of subpar bits of tech, which was not a fault of the production company. We made it to basically kind of YouTube spec. Hulu, we're looking for a little bit more. So it's done now anyway. So thanks to some of the dialers that came out to that.
Starting point is 00:04:48 And as always, thanks to everybody for your Spotify comments and your feedback. And honestly, our last number of... prompts have come from dial or suggestions. So always keep those up in my DMs, you know, or in the Spotify comments, but my DMs because I just screenshot them and then I have them in my memory bank, aka my iPhone. And they are convenient, honestly. Also, what was I going to say? I was just about to say something there. An admin thing, which is why it's, which is why it's popped out of my head. But anyway, needless to say, thanks. Thanks so much. So today, because I knew I was going to be on my own, today we're going for some advice. And we've gotten, you know, there's always a spectrum.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Sort of the lighthearted to the serious. But first, Nicole, there's actually one there in the list of somebody that was messaging in about loud talking at home. Can we, can we, can we, can we, can we play that one? I'm listening to the most recent episode right now. Oh my God, your fucking rant about getting volume shamed is the most validated thing I've ever heard in my entire fucking life. I am the only person I know of that gets volume shamed fucking constantly. Like, it is a goddamn dream when I'm, around somebody that is hard of hearing. When they say, oh, can you speak up?
Starting point is 00:06:22 I'm like, oh, my God, I can talk at a normal level. I fucking thought you, bro. You saying that, like, people think that you're, like, arguing and stuff, one time somebody else with a projective voice came into where I worked, and I worked right next to a nail salon. And my father-in-law was getting a pedicure. Well, my father-in-law and mother-in-law were both getting pedicures. But he literally thought that I was getting into a fight with a customer
Starting point is 00:06:48 and came in because me and Hamer just so talking our normal level to each other. That was so validating. Thank you, King. Yes, projective voices for the. Love it. Absolutely love it. Quinson, I have just re-recorded that bit too, the shouting bit. And anyway, I won't go on about it because we went on about it a few weeks ago, but I thank
Starting point is 00:07:09 you. I do, I love a voice message that comes back talking about something we talked about before. So never, dialers out there, never be afraid to share your thoughts on the episode in audio form because I will appreciate it. But it's an advice episode and I haven't put the list. I haven't put the list in order. So Nicole, it's really on you, you know, you just pick the ones that seem to float your boat with my very basic titles. Well, the basic titles are tricky because I don't know if these are going to be intense or if they're going to be silly. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:07:51 You really never know. Listen, that's a short list. They're in there because I have taken them from, you know, like the ones that I think are not ideal are not in there. So you can't really make a mistake with these. Hi, as a guest, I have a conundrum for you. So this is perfect timing for this prompt for me. I was in this amazing three-year relationship with a fellow Silver Fox. I actually joked that we were the Walmart version of Des and Hannah because we'd listen to
Starting point is 00:08:22 burn her phone on road trips and I brought him to the Giggly Squad show. And yeah, it was just really great. But we broke up earlier this year because his teenage daughter was just like not in the idea of her dad being in a serious relationship. And apparently she said our age gap was creepy, even though I'm 34 and her mom. has a same age gap with her fiance, but I digress. Anyway, I keep going back and forth. I'm wondering if you think that breaking up because of a kid that's going to grow up and mature
Starting point is 00:08:54 is, like, there's a possibility of rekindling someday years down the line, or if that's, like, definitely a reason to never, like, it's never going to work. Anyway, scared for your response. Bye. Oh, that's a good conundrum, man. That's a good conundrum. the T-Moo version of DesNat. By the way, just on a side note, before we get into this,
Starting point is 00:09:20 Hannah and I had dinner with a friend of mine. And he said, I actually organized tickets for him to go to the Giggly Squad show in Toronto, even though he's Irish, but his girlfriend of the time was living in Vancouver. So they met in the middle, they met in Toronto, and I organized the Giggly Squad show for them. and he spoke with abject fear about the experience of going to Giggly Squads show as a man. And he said that on the line, on the queue, in the way in, two Gigglers turned around to him because there were two couples, so two guys, you know, and they turned around to him and his friend. And they were like, you're brave.
Starting point is 00:10:04 So the fact that you brought him to a Giggly Squad show, I mean, that's a great. flag that he can handle that, you know, because it's not a safe space for men, which is, which is fine. It's a safe space for jokes at men's expense. And we're fine with that. Anyway, this, this is a, it's not that much of a conundrum because, of course, we can say that there may be some time in the future where perhaps, you know, the daughter might not be as much of an issue. But in the short term, it's not worth holding on to because at the, you know, it's the end of the day, whether he was right or wrong, it matters to him. And who can say whether he's right or wrong? And who can even say if that was the only factor for him? You know, and that's not,
Starting point is 00:10:53 I'm not trying to put a dampener on, you know, like, you guys know, you guys know, like I only get this information of this one minute message. But, you know, you guys know where the relationship was at and different things. But that's a great stress. You know, I have, I have somebody I know in my life that is, you know, it's a, it's not a divorce situation, but it's a lost his wife situation. And, you know, it's a big factor, particularly for if it's the man bringing another woman in, it tends to be tough for the daughter, you know, and that's always going to be a factor. You kind of have to sort of respect his priorities in a way, like even though you're the sort of victim of what I would consider to be his well-placed priorities.
Starting point is 00:11:43 That's probably part of what you're attracted to in him is the fact that he would care that much about his daughter. So it's a hard one, you know, because that's a weird clash. I can't understand it totally. My parents never divorced. Didn't have any sisters. So I'm probably not the best gauge on sort of where her head is at, where the teenage daughter is at.
Starting point is 00:12:06 but I do know that it's just common and that the daughters, particularly at that age, tend to struggle with that. The judgmental part from her, you can just ignore because that's just like, you know,
Starting point is 00:12:18 she probably was looking for reasons to have a problem, which is sort of also understandable. It's a hard thing, you know? Because like at the end of the day, like the traditional relationship or the relationship that we perceive in our minds between like child and parent
Starting point is 00:12:34 doesn't, like in our minds in an ideal world, it doesn't have these other people coming into the mix. So it is understandable that it takes time for people to get around it. So what I would say is, one, be happy that you had this good relationship. It sucks that it hasn't worked out. One of the factors was the teenage daughter. And maybe some time in the future where that's not the sticking point that it is, maybe. But I don't think you should like hold on to any great hope.
Starting point is 00:13:05 that it might happen. I don't think that'll be good for your own head because like at the end of the day, like it has ended for that reason, you know? And it's complicated, you know. So I would say, I would say it sounds like you're kind of like, you know what's up,
Starting point is 00:13:24 but, and I appreciate you sharing it because it is fascinating. I mean, I had a good think about it because actually I think this was the first one that I read. And I had a good think about it. And I'm only going based on my limited sort of, observation. I don't have any like very close experience with this, but my limited observation of
Starting point is 00:13:41 this scenario, which I've seen numerous times, I would say it's always complicated and, you know, in a way, you're probably almost better off to be liberated from it because there will always be that pitfall that this could come up. But I do hope that maybe sometime in the more, sometimes soon, that maybe it might resolve itself in your relationship's favor, but I wouldn't be holding out for that, though, because you're just like, it's like out of your control. It's not like a great place to be, sort of waiting on so many factors to align for you.
Starting point is 00:14:18 So, but thank you for sharing, fascinating. And let's take another one, Nicole. Hey, Hannah and Des, I love you guys. I'm calling in because I am a stand-up comedian in New York. I'm a lady, a lady comedian. And I'm calling him because I've been doing this about a year. When I started, I took a class and that really helped me form some ideas, get a good five minutes down. But now I feel like I'm having a hard time getting inspired and like coming up with new fresh ideas.
Starting point is 00:14:51 I guess like it was so much easier at the beginning. And now I'm just like having a hard time coming up with really funny new stuff. So I wanted to hear like about y'all's process. you know, do you write things down? Do you voice memo things? What do you guys like to do to, you know, create new sets? And then I feel like this will be interesting, obviously, for me, thank you. But also for everyone else to kind of hear how you guys do this. So anything you could share with me, I would love. Thank you. Well, first advice I have is turn up the mic so that you don't destroy your voice. Not the mic for the prompt, but when you're performing. By the way, fun fact, you know, I've been like abnormally busy the last couple of weeks. So I was a bit behind on like actually putting the prompt out. So I didn't have a lot of time.
Starting point is 00:15:44 So I asked Hannah to also post the prompt that, you know, Des is looking for advice. But of course, when Hannah posts, people then assume that Hannah is going to be here, number one. But number two, immediately. after Hannah posted immediately, 80% of the things that came in were like, I don't know what, I don't know what I want to do at my life. I just finished college or I'm in college and I'm not sure what career I want to pick. It's like, my ones are like the first one we got. The one that, because the one that we read first came before Hannah put out the prompt
Starting point is 00:16:20 and it's like super complicated and like really difficult to deal with. And then Hannah's one's like, what am I going to do in my life? But anyway, this one came after Hannah posted. And, you know, the process part, I mean, any comedian will tell you that that's quite personal, you know? For me, particularly like in my early days, which is where you're at, I just, you know, back then, I was having no iPhone, but like I just wrote down the most basic thought. I wasn't great at painstaking over jokes, but I wrote down the most basic thoughts. And I was pretty brave at trying them. Now, I think I have no idea based on the information, but where you're at, right, a lot of people, see, what happens is when you start, right, you got to get that like
Starting point is 00:17:14 five minutes and you do it a lot. And it gets relatively good, right? And it's all you have, so you do it all the time. And it's quite exciting. And then you get a little bit sick. it, but you also get like a weird sensation for like the fresh stuff because it's not as good. And like the thing is that that is just part of the process. And I would think maybe that one of the reasons why you're saying you're not getting inspired about funny stuff is because like you you're probably overthinking like how good it is because nothing's great at the beginning. So you have to kind of get used to just like try. shit out. Now, I will say that I've always been somebody who develops their stuff on stage. I don't
Starting point is 00:18:02 mean like total improvisation, but I really don't develop the idea thoroughly initially. I really just have enough to give me confidence to bring it up on stage. I would literally say that my process is like the first step is having an idea and my second step is bringing it up on stage. And I use the term bringing it up to be like, I'm going to begin to tease this out live, you know. And of course, I'll have like notes for myself. I'll have a couple of like beats that I think are going to work. But I'm more interested in like staying on it for as long as possible. Now, there's certain scenarios where you can do that in certain scenarios where you can.
Starting point is 00:18:53 The longer you do comedy, the more you can indulge in the period of like really trying to drag everything out of a new idea that you can because either you've established yourself in a club, so you're not worried about not getting any more gigs, or you're literally putting on a new material show. Whereas early on, it's just very rare where you're in a totally free space. Or if you're in a place where you don't have to worry like an open mic, the crowds kind of suck. So it is hard to do that, you know, because I'm really of the opinion that the atmosphere, the audience, or the energy of the live performance is like, it's like that drug that Bradley Cooper takes and with that show is, I think it was called Limitless.
Starting point is 00:19:34 You know, he takes this drug and then suddenly he's like got an incredible mind. Like, I am convinced that my live stage mind is a, I'm a smarter, more astute, quick thinking person, whether it's the adrenaline or what my brain works better it's firing on more cylinders and i really have come up with some of my best ideas on stage so i would say as an exercise because i got great advice once from this comedian barry murphy he was like he still is the godfather of irish comedy but back then uh that's what everyone called him you know i don't think he's he's doing live stuff as much anymore. But anyway, he had said to me once, as an exercise, he said, if you have the, for your next spot, your next set, have an opener and a closer. And everything
Starting point is 00:20:29 that you talk about between those two things, just like figure it out on the spot, you know. And it wasn't that he was trying to help me to learn how to totally improvise, but it was really just trying to get me to be comfortable on stage talking about whatever. Because the more you sort of get on stage and talk about whatever, the more realize that you can really make anything funny. So I would think don't over obsess about, you know, nothing's inspiring. I can't find anything funny. Because like everything's funny really, actually. Or there's a funny take on pretty much everything. So I would say free yourself. That would be my advice on the process side. On the boring, how do I get better side? You just have to do loads of spots. And it's really like
Starting point is 00:21:18 not ideal. I don't know if anybody watched Funny AF out there, which ended up being a very popular show, actually, to my surprise. Because I was quite cynical about it. I was friends with Caitlin Palufa and Usama. And I know Reg, but I'm friendlier with Caitlin particularly and Osama. but I messaged her actually to say, like, I'm so happy this has worked out, because I was very cynical. I didn't think it was going to be a good show, comedy sort of competition shows. Largely, I found to be failures, but they seem to have captured something with it. I didn't watch the early episodes, but I know that a lot of people I know, Normies, non-comedy people, have specifically said that they're really enjoying it.
Starting point is 00:22:00 In fact, one of my friends that I grew up with, I had lunch with him the other day, and he actually said to me, You know, I always knew it was a hard job and I always admired what you did, but I didn't realize how difficult stand-up is and like how much you had to go through to get to where you went, where you got to. And I was like, wow, this is great. People have a deeper understanding for what I do because of funny AF. But anyway, why was I bringing that up about just like all, you know, doing loads of shows? But anyway, you basically, oh yeah, because they talk a lot about how tough it is, right? And I was going to point out that it kind of sucks, like, how much of yourself you have to give to this. Like, it is very demanding of who you are. I'm not saying it's more or less
Starting point is 00:22:48 demanding than, like, so many other jobs, but in terms of the amount of yourself, like your, emotions, your soul, your identity, like almost every part of you has to be sort of giving over to like obsessing about getting better, which is, it's, and for most people, that's not a problem because it is like a vocation. It's like a deep-seated need to perform. But that is kind of what it takes. So I wish you the best, you know. Like it can suck too for women, like one of the things that not just Hannah points out, like numerous women that do comedy that I know have said that there's aspects of, particularly the open mic scene and just hanging around the club scene that's, it's not as enticing for women. So I appreciate how it's probably
Starting point is 00:23:40 like an extra challenge for you to be around the vibe as much as you're going to need to be around it, but it is kind of necessary. And, you know, I think depending where you live, you can find the places that you're most comfortable hanging around. And that's, kind of essential. So anyway, I wish you the best. And just as an exercise, Des's homework, right? Your, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're fucking Taraa, uh, just have two ideas. Don't even write jokes the next time you do a set and just try to be funny about them. Just to kind of free yourself up a little bit about how easy it can be to come up with the funny bits. And, uh, well, we'll, we'll, we'll take another.
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Starting point is 00:30:10 What are your thoughts on getting someone a wedding, who has a destination wedding. Is it, like, required to do that? Is that the proper etiquette? I do feel like there may be certain tiers. Like, if it's in Mexico, you know, that's going to be a lot less expensive than, like, Hawaii or Europe. So, you know, maybe you're more likely to get them a gift if it's in Mexico. But I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:37 Let me know what you think. I've had about four that I've gone to in the last couple of years. And I just, you know, it's the cost really add up with how much money you spend to get there. And then, you know, getting a nice gift on top of that. So I don't know. I'm wondering what your thoughts are. Well, you know, initially I thought that the etiquette with destinations was meant to be that if you have a destination wedding, that people aren't expected to give a gift. That was my understanding originally. And I feel like that used to be the case. And I feel somehow that's slipped, you know, which I don't think is fair. I think if you're not forcing people, because destination weddings are awesome. I, you know, like, I think destination wedding is a great idea. But I think when you decide to have one, then I do think that you should accept that.
Starting point is 00:31:44 the gifts are going to at least diminish in their value. It's only fair, you know? Like, that's what I think. Actually, do you ever thought on that, Nicole? Well, I've been kind of cynical about weddings lately because so many of my friends have been getting married. And I feel like I've been seeing people post online about this too, not even just a destination, but it's become a festival, basically,
Starting point is 00:32:06 like an entire weekend of events where you come in for like welcome drinks, then it's rehearsal, then it's the wedding itself, the after party. goodbye breakfast. There's multiple days of things that you have to pay for your lodging, and a lot of times it's on site. It's very expensive, let alone you're traveling to be somewhere far away. So, yeah, and I keep getting these people gifts because I love them and care about them, but it's like pretty exhausting going into debt for other people's weddings.
Starting point is 00:32:37 You know, I think we need to lead a campaign. We need to bring back the clarity that if you have a destination wedding, that you don't get a gift. like, you know, what's the big deal? You know, because I think a lot of times, not always, but a lot of times you end up, I think sometimes the wedding itself can actually be a little bit cheaper, depending where you go. So not always, but often they're saving money on the actual wedding part.
Starting point is 00:33:03 And the people that are going to the wedding, it's a lot more expensive for them. So they have to just accept that there's less gifts. So let's lead a campaign to be like, Destination weddings, yes, but make it clear in the invite that your gift is your presence, and we know that it's expensive for you to go, so don't worry about getting a gift. And then obviously the people that are financially well off will get you a gift anyway, but at least the people that aren't won't feel pressure to, you know, not go. By the way, I sort of forgot to check in on you.
Starting point is 00:33:37 I was being deep in my thoughts. Did you have any thoughts about our first dilemma? what with the relationship gap? Yeah. I mean, I'm a child myself, so I don't, I don't have, like, a lot to offer on that. I can't imagine. Did you just say you're a child? I am a child.
Starting point is 00:33:55 But it is really... You know you're in denial? I'm about to turn 30, so... But that's just between you and I. But, yeah, I feel it's so complicated when there's, like, a kid in the mix as well, let alone a teenager who is calling your relationship creepy. Like, I think having a kid with consciousness who can... say that kind of stuff makes it so complicated.
Starting point is 00:34:15 And I believe she said that the mother also was in a new relationship with an age gap. And that was fine. So I feel like if the kid is not judging that relationship but is maybe judging your relationship, I don't know if that it bodes well for that mindset changing in the future. Yeah, yeah. But that's not very helpful. No, no, it's good. I just wanted to know.
Starting point is 00:34:41 I forgot to check in with you to make sure that I wasn't. I'm way off base myself. Hey, that's okay. I mean, that's my take on that. You know, wedding stuff comes up a lot on this podcast. But I'm fine with leading the campaign for a destination wedding, no present. And you guys can agree or disagree, you know? I feel in general, we get a lot of messages about the financial implications of bachelorettes, bachelor parties, stags, hens, weddings.
Starting point is 00:35:10 You know, it's just like a lot of money. And honestly, especially with wedding presents, like money is the most practical thing. But like, you know, wedding lists and stuff, like you end up just getting a lot of shit you don't need. So I just say rain it in. Rain the whole thing in. Did you have a registry for your wedding? I think we had just like online. We had like a honeymoon fund, I think.
Starting point is 00:35:37 I can't even remember. I feel like that's the move because I've been seeing people no shade to all my friends that I love. love so much. But when they've lived together with their partner for years and they're posting a registry with like, hey, we need like mixing bowls and dish towels, it's like, you guys have surely accumulated these things already. Why are these the gifts? Yeah. I mean, you know, I think I feel like wedding registries, they used to be like more important, you know, because like you had to have your set of good China and, you know, but now people do. Like you say, people live together already, you know? It's not like you're heading out into the world now and now you have.
Starting point is 00:36:13 have to get equipped. So, I mean, anyway, we're not going to solve the whole wedding in a dream situation today. But, you know, the whole wedding thing is largely a scam. There's a pretty good chance. It's not going to be the last one. So, you know, I, I, I'm never, I don't, I don't, I don't, I hate obligations when it comes to, like, what you're supposed to give. So I would, I would be much happier in a world, but that's just, like, not a thing at all. but obviously some people do really care. So if you can't afford it and you're going to the wedding, if you can't afford it, don't feel bad about not getting a gift.
Starting point is 00:36:49 That's my more direct advice. But let's take another Nicole. Okay, so I just moved to a new city and I met some new friends. And literally they're like kind of the only friends I have here. I have a few other ones, but this is like my main friend group that I've been hanging with for the last month. And then like my best friend in the group, I may or may not have slept with her older brother. And now I don't know what to do because he keeps being really awkward. And I'm trying not to be
Starting point is 00:37:17 awkward. So like I messaged him, but he took 24 hours to message me back. And then it was a bad message and it gave no effort. And then I was like, you know what? I'm not going to answer this because now I feel awkward. And then I ran into them on the road. And it was really awkward when I ran into everybody. And it was just uncomfortable. And he keeps being awkward. So I messaged him again to be like, sorry I missed this. It was nice running into you the other day, even though it wasn't nice. running into him. Anyway, how do I make this less awkward? Or like, do I just have to find a new friend group even though I have no friends here? I think you just have to get over the awkwardness. It'll pass. The awkwardness is coming from him because I think he essentially kind of like
Starting point is 00:37:59 one night stand at you and he doesn't like he can't face himself, you know? So I would say just like forget about him. And eventually, you'll get comfortable with him being around. He'll get comfortable with you being around. You can just get back into enjoying your friends. Because he's probably like a little bit of a dick. And most times guys act like a bit of a dick. They know.
Starting point is 00:38:27 They're aware of it. And he can't face it. And he doesn't know how to, he doesn't know how to face it. You know, like you've sent him numerous messages and he can't even use that as a get-out. You know? He's so up in his head. So his awkwardness is not your responsibility. Just let him go.
Starting point is 00:38:45 It shouldn't be a factor for the rest of the group. Don't be embarrassed. You know, you guys had a fling. It didn't work out. And I'd say just get back on with being the friend, in the friend group. And also just like, just ignore him now. Don't text. Don't, you know, just like, just get back into like, hey, almost like, I would say,
Starting point is 00:39:02 almost pretend it didn't happen. Because you don't have any other friends. So it's not worth, you know, you can't. It's too much to give up just to not deal with the awkwardness. So fuck him, but also, like, you don't need any drama. So, like, just like let that part go. Let him be weird. And you get on with being your friend.
Starting point is 00:39:24 It's really just his own weakness of just, like, not being able to face up to it for whatever reason. It's just his, he struggles with that emotion, whatever it is, whether it's guilt or embarrassment or what, I don't know. So you keep on, keeping on with your friends, and stop worrying about him and just, if it's awkward, that's also no big deal. Just be with that awkwardness. No big deal.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Do you agree, Nicole? Yeah, I feel like the follow-up text to him have the right intention, but you can't be sending the follow-up, like keep texting him the follow-up messages. I do kind of want to follow-up from this person, though, on the dynamics of This hook, like the sister, the mutual person doesn't know that they hooked up. Yeah, that's not clear, right? Or is that clear? Oh, no, I think they don't know.
Starting point is 00:40:17 I think it's like a secret. Yeah, I feel like I need a little bit more information on this one. But because I have a brother, so I'm kind of picturing myself as the sister in this situation. Yeah, well, that's what I need. I need a female's perspective on it, you know? Yeah. And I have had friends try and hook up with my brother, and it's never good. But not to scare the Tyler.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Who's it difficult for you? Well, because they tried to keep it from me, which made me more uncomfortable. Right. Because if they had just told me, I'd been like, oh, okay, cool, makes sense. But because they both thought I was going to be weird about it and didn't tell me then I got weird about it. However, it was different from this because this is more like a one-time hookup, it sounds like, versus they were maybe interesting relationship. Oh, they were having a secret relationship.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Yeah, so maybe, okay, so how about this then? Maybe it would be good for her to just tell her for her. Like, by the way, like, I actually was with your brother and didn't really go anywhere, and it's kind of awkward. Do you think she should say it? Well, so I don't know if this is, like, a toxic take, but I feel like it might be fun to reveal in a few years. If it's only like a, if it's like a one-time hookup, like, in the future to find out, like, one of my friends hooked up with my brother years later, that might be pretty fun to learn. Yeah. But I need more info.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Yeah. All right. That's good. You see, I've needed you on a couple of these because these are. This is not my area of expertise because I don't have sisters. So it's kind of an issue. All right. So there's one in the list where after it was sent, I got to, I was told I need to disguise the voice.
Starting point is 00:41:57 It's the one about the making like gay jokes. Hey, does. Okay, this one is a little bit out there. but I need some advice. My husband and I have a friend, mainly my husband's friend, but we all hang out together all the time. We've been friends for like five or six years now. And recently, he started making really sexually explicit gay comments towards me about my husband. Not sure exactly how to take this.
Starting point is 00:42:29 I've never met a gay, I mean a straight guy that makes jokes about assing another guy's D. So, um, not sure how to take it. They're both straight, I think. But, uh, this has me questioning lots. Let me know your thoughts on this because it feels very weird to me. Very weird. I don't even know what to say about it. I just think it's, it's an interesting dynamic, you know?
Starting point is 00:42:56 Because they message me afterwards on Instagram. And then, uh, she was saying, I've never heard a straight man. joking about being gay. So I said, listen to Christa Stephano. That's what I said. Literally. I'm not speaking at a turn about Chris DeStefano, but he has a running gag about being gay, you know?
Starting point is 00:43:20 And it's ongoing, like, all the time. So honestly, all I could say on this is like, I think your intuition is correct. don't know. So I think it's either one of two things. They are at least sort of closeted by and they get a kick out of making these jokes. Or it's like a way of, it's like a weird way of flirting with you where he thinks it won't get him in trouble or something, you know? like he's trying to sort of almost like loosen her up to be a bit
Starting point is 00:44:03 like promiscuous with the language amongst them do you have any thoughts Nicole because it's complicated I mean those are both takes that I didn't even consider but it's also hard because most of my guy friends are comedians and I have a very hot boyfriend so whenever they meet him they're like constantly making jokes about sucking his dick
Starting point is 00:44:26 Like specifically. Really? Yeah, I'm really close with Mike Cannon and he's become very close to my boyfriend and consistently is making those jokes about him. Okay. And it's kind of like a mutual thing. But again, it's like a comedian thing. So I don't know. It would be totally different if it was just a dude.
Starting point is 00:44:46 But now I'm kind of panicking thinking about the police different. I didn't mean to freak you out. Is Mike Cannon trying to fuck my boyfriend? No, there's like. The prospect also of him trying to loosen her up. I was like, whoa, I didn't even think about that option, but that is valid. But except that it just in your situation with Mike and your boyfriend. No, no, of course not.
Starting point is 00:45:08 Yeah. No, but like, that's like their banter back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn't like, this doesn't appear to be his banter with her boyfriend. It appears to be his banter with her. Oh, right? Okay. Hmm, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:22 That's the way, that's, sorry, that's what I took from it, is that he's making those kind of jokes I don't know if it's around her or to her. It seemed like he was kind of like trying to get like information from her about him. That's what it sounds like to me. So anyway, dialers hit us up in the Spotify comments or follow up with a voice message on what you think is going on here because this is a complicated one. So much so that we've had to disguise the voice. which we've done before, by the way, it's not our, it's not our first time. And it's usually in these dilemma situations that we do. But we all want to know, including the dialer, what are the
Starting point is 00:46:07 thoughts? And by the way, gay men that are out there. We have some gigglers, as the gigglers, gay gigglers, that listen to this also, particularly we'd like to hear from you on what do you think of this quote unquote straight man behavior. Because, you know, gay men all seem to have stories about straight men on the DL. So do you think this is like DL behavior? Anyway, let us know. This is more one of these ones where I don't have advice, but I really like think it's, it's very fascinating thing to think about.
Starting point is 00:46:48 So let's take a mental health moment. Okay. Now, as I said before, we jokingly, you know, months ago said somebody, we came up with the idea of like life hacks. And then I said, oh, we should get sponsored by Rula, lifehacks by Rula. And randomly, Rula found out about it. And they liked the idea so much that now we are going to have a monthly mental health moment with a life hack in association with Rula.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Now, you guys have heard me talk about it before that Rula is a great online therapy website that you can go to where you can use your insurance and you can talk to a therapist that they find specifically for you that follows your progress and it's just a really easy way to get therapy. But we had a dialer message in. I don't know if it's as much of. a life hack as a great sort of like mental trick for putting yourself in a great place. So can we have that now, Nicole? Hi, guys, love the pod. Not really an advice question per se, but just a piece
Starting point is 00:48:05 of advice that I just saw on TikTok and wanted to share because I thought it was honestly just like a nice perspective on things. But it pretty much just. said, gosh, I wish I could credit them. It pretty much just said, don't be the thermometer, be the thermostat. So while everything is changing around you, you know, don't change with it by being, you know, the temperature or the thermometer, be the thermostat. Anyways, help me. So hope it helps someone else. What I like about this one is, it took me a sack, actually, you know. But I like it because obviously the thermometer is just reacting to the temperature. It's not adjusting, right? It's not adapting and getting itself back to optimum temperature, whereas the thermostat is taking all
Starting point is 00:48:59 these things into consideration. And when things need to cool down, it cools down. And when things need to heat up a little bit, it heats up a little bit. And I like that. I think it's a great way to be like, oh, I'm getting hot-headed now. I'm being the thermometer. I just need to just cool down a little bit. So do you think this is a good mental, do you like this one? Yeah, for sure. I definitely get lost sometimes just letting things happen at me and to me. And if I can like take a moment to think about this and just be like, okay, I can, I control.
Starting point is 00:49:33 There's only so much I can control. Like, here's what I can control. That usually does make me feel better. So shout out to the styler. Yeah, I like that one. And wherever you heard it. So this has been life hacks with Rula, our first life hack with Rula. If taking care of your mental health has been something you've been putting off, this is your
Starting point is 00:49:52 sign to make it easy. Head to rula.com. That's Rula.com to find a therapist the easy way. Again, that's Rula.com to get started. So that's the first of its kind, but that's kind of cool. I think it's more fun than just a typical ad. And especially because I do actually think that we have that one to take away with us. So let's get back to
Starting point is 00:50:16 advice. Pick your favorite, Nicole. Support for today's episode comes from Square. The system empowering like half the places I go. So if you ever tap to pay and thought, wow, that was fast, it was probably Square. You know how annoying paying the bill used to be? And then the server comes over. It's like, bang, tap, I'm out. It's just so much better. Whether you're selling lattes, cutting hair, detailing cars, or running a design studio, Square helps you run your business without running yourself into the ground.
Starting point is 00:50:46 And right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com slash go slash burner. That's SQA-R-E dot com slash go slash burner. Visit Square to get started because the right tools make all the difference. Back in the International Comedy Club days, when my brother was running it, Square actually kind of changed the game for him. Up until then, would you believe we were just doing cash. And, you know, cash was just becoming more inconvenient. So he got on, got one of these square machines, and honestly, it just took off. Plus, it helped in his desire to develop a ticket selling system. Really, it's amazing because it's not just point to sale. Square includes hard work that works in person and on the go, software for managing
Starting point is 00:51:31 staff, marketing and customer insights, banking tools like Square checking to get paid instantly. It makes running a business feel a little less like putting out fires. It simplifies messy stuff. It works for one location, shops and businesses with multiple teams of service areas. You don't need an IT team or a degree in accounting. It scales with you whether you're selling from a stall or expanding to storefronts. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down.
Starting point is 00:52:01 Right now you can get up to $200 off square hardware at square.com slash go slash burner. That's SQA-R-E dot com slash G-O-S-G-O-S-S-E. Burner, run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. Hey, Hannah, hey Paige. Love you guys so much. My question is, so I had a falling out with my best friend of 20 years in January. Some not so nice things were said on both sides. And, you know, I still want her in my life. it's a 20-year-long friendship. But it's more of like throughout our 20 years, we've never really had any huge argument.
Starting point is 00:52:45 So I guess I just want to know if you guys have ever been in a situation like that, how to navigate it, especially with someone who sometimes has a hard time, I feel like listening to what you have to say and how something made you feel. Actually, I don't know how I ended up putting that one in. It's so for Hannah and Page and not for me. I didn't mind about the Hannah and Page part because it's like some Hannah just puts these up.
Starting point is 00:53:17 People don't even realize it's for Bernerphone, you know? But I also realize like it's like a female friendship thing. And the female friendship thing, I've got to be honest with I claim to know a lot of things about a lot of things. That's a fucking, that's a minefield. I don't know how to, I don't know how to navigate that actually, you know? This is what I'm throwing out to the dialers. You got to help. I don't even think this person's a dialer.
Starting point is 00:53:40 You got to help a giggle her out. You got to help a giggle her out because she's in that minefield of the female friendship. And I just think all I can say is that, and to bring it back to something I do know about, friendship, but just in general, you know, I've had some friendships that never recovered from falling outs. And it's sad in a way, really. Now, life happens, and I've had as many friendships that aren't strong today just because you move on in life. You didn't even fall out. You just stop seeing each other.
Starting point is 00:54:12 You fall out of contact. So it's not the saddest thing in the world when you lose a friend, but it is a sad thing when you lose a friend because you weren't able to find a resolution. So I do hope that you can find it. And listen, it's never a guarantee that you get back to where you were at, you know. But I know for sure that it's worth the effort. But I fear that I'm ill-equipped to sort of guide you on how to do it, you know? Because already, see, already, when you listen to this, you're into the one side versus the other, which is like she's saying that the other one doesn't like to listen. And it's like, you know, it's tough.
Starting point is 00:54:55 It's a complicated one. Have you had any big female falling outs? I haven't had anything that sounds like, I mean, this sounds like it was kind of explosive a little bit. I don't think I've really had anything like that. Like, definitely disagreements or fights, but if I've had a situation with somebody where I feel like we're not seeing eye to eye or they're not hearing me, like, definitely I've distanced myself from some friends who consistently dump on me or come to me for advice every single day, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump.
Starting point is 00:55:23 And they're not ever really checking in with me, but they're constantly asking for my advice, or if I'm giving the advice, they're just doing what they want to do anyways. And eventually that kind of like wears you down because it's very one-sided. And I've kind of just backed away from those friendships. And in those moments, it kind of reveals to you as well, okay, maybe this wasn't what I thought because this person hasn't followed up with me or like checked back in. So I don't know. I haven't really had something explosive like this. I don't understand the motivation to be like, again, there's only so much we can learn from like a minute.
Starting point is 00:55:58 That's always the dilemma. I don't know the motivation behind, like, I would say, seriously think about why do you still want this person in your life? Because that is something that she said, like, I still want them in my life. So I think you kind of have to like, not to be transactional, but think about like, what am I getting out of this and what am I giving to this? And if that's something that you want to continue, it's complicated. Complicated. But what I will say is to the dialers who might think that our friendship is such that you guys just, come to me for advice. And I never look to you for advice. That is not true. And I'm literally
Starting point is 00:56:35 looking to you guys for advice now for this person. You know, because it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a hard one. But I definitely have had explosive moments with my friends. But, you know, I, I've, when I felt like it's worth it, I've had to come cap in hand with the big apology. So I hope it works out for you guys. And, uh, let's, um, Did I put stars next to one or did we do that already? We haven't gotten to that one yet. There is another one that I think is probably made for you based on the title. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:57:10 Would you like to listen to that? Well, now I'm so curious of what you think is made for me. Hello, I don't really know how to ask the right question, but I have a question for, I guess, Des. And I want to know, how do you tell your family about your misophonia? Yeah, without them being eye-rolly about it. And also, yeah, I guess just like how to get it through to them that you're not a crazy person. You just want them to understand and be respectful about it because I always get the eye-rolls. And that sucks.
Starting point is 00:57:47 And they still mock me when I ask them politely to maybe not tap their feet or, you know, when I want to take the batteries out of the clock and all that. So, yeah, advice on how to get it into their brains that it is my brain that is messed up. But please be nice to me. Yeah. So anyway, love you both. Bye. Honestly, I don't have advice for that because I just don't think people can.
Starting point is 00:58:15 No, they can't understand it, you know. There's nothing you can do. But know this, that it's a real thing. You know, you're not like crazy. and also thank God there's a word for I I went through most of my life having no idea that I was like an oddball you know so I really don't have advice because this podcast you know Nicole we've talked about misophonia a lot on this podcast like a lot you know so you might not be aware of how often this has been discussed but it comes up a lot like Hannah doesn't. doesn't have it, you know? And I shared this recently, but I'll share it again. But we ended up having like a like a like a row, but not like, you know, nothing crazy. But like as far as Hannah was concerned, my upset didn't match the incident, you know, but it was related to noise. It was related
Starting point is 00:59:16 to the TV playing and her playing something on her phone at the same time. But in fairness to Hannah, You know, when cooler heads prevailed, because I exited the misophonic situation, she said, I googled it. And apparently that the way that it makes you feel triggers like a fight or flight response. So you actually end up with like tons of adrenaline and cortisol, which of course to somebody who doesn't react that way to it finds it hard to understand. So I guess you could tell them to Google that it's like actually a real thing. It's funny you said about the ticking clock because the ticking clock thing is one of my things. And then like when I first like I own my apartment in the Lower East Side. I bought it in 2018.
Starting point is 01:00:10 And I had the most insane buyer's remorse because I could hear like essentially. just like, it was not a loud noise, but it was just like the elevator. But like it wasn't like a ding. It was just like the faintest hum of the elevator. And it was driving me crazy. But this is before I knew about misophonia. I didn't realize that like not everybody would be like, oh, you fucked up, man. Why did you buy it?
Starting point is 01:00:47 Like, didn't you know that elevators make a faint hum? and people will come over and they'd be like, I can't even really hear it. And I'd be like, oh, it's driving me crazy. So, you know, what can you do? The people that don't get it, they don't get it. Tell them to Google it. It's a real thing, you know?
Starting point is 01:01:06 Like, trust me, I'd rather not be annoyed by this. You know, I'd rather not, like, literally want to lose my mind when you're tapping, you know, or slurping or whatever. I'd rather not, but it's there. and, you know, eventually you just have to get your own space, get away from your family, especially if you have anyone not choose loudly in your family. But I really, I kept it in there, just if it had come up, I kept it in there just to know that here on Bernifone, you are seen.
Starting point is 01:01:40 You are absolutely seen. And I apologize for any time I have slurped into the mic or, because you do get that, you get the odd complaint in the Spotify comments about a slurp or a swallow or like a, like a breathe in. But a lot of times with podcasts, it kind of depends on what you're listening to, like certain headphones or like sometimes in the car, things can sound a bit annoying. So I apologize to everybody for any misophonic triggers that have come out of me during this podcast.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Let's try to get two more in the car. call before we call it a day. So there's this man at my company who makes like very off color jokes a lot of the time and I actually left that work location like partially because of him. And in my exit interview, I kind of just said all of those things to HR. Three weeks later, he sends me an apology email. But like, it was okay. It wasn't great. But I was like, oh, okay, like, I mean, obviously he's being forced to do it, but like, it had all the components of a good apology. And then I was reading it to my friends later, and they were like, that's totally AI. So I run it through like six different AI checkers, and it's 100% AI. So I've decided that I'm
Starting point is 01:03:09 going to just ignore it, but what do you guys think? Should I have like replied to his email with like the evidence that it was AI or forwarded it to HR? Because I definitely consider it. both. Again, this is another one that I didn't know what to think, but I just thought it was such an enticing situation because it's got all the hallmarks of modern drama. It's got workplace potential harassment, certainly inappropriate behavior at work. It's got complaints to HR. It's got somebody leaving where they're working as a result.
Starting point is 01:03:47 and then on top of it, it's got a poor apology and AI. I mean, you couldn't get more of a 2026 dilemma than this dilemma. You know, I, I, I don't, it's a hard one because is it in, obviously, it seems this, it seems not genuine to have used AI. but also in the corporate ethical minefield, like, is it almost more response? There's two things. One of these two things has happened. Either they don't give a shit, right? And they used AI because they're lazy.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Or two, they're so concerned about, you know, saying the right thing that they thought it was safer to use AI. or obviously both. They don't give a shit. And they also think that they probably don't have the language in them. So they had to use AI because they don't have the empathy in them to really give like an honest apology. But either way, I don't think it's worth taking any more action. But I'm also not a great, like I'm not great on. office politics, you know?
Starting point is 01:05:16 Do you have any thoughts on the call? I feel like, I'm, like, focused on the wrong thing, because I'm feeling like I would feel exposed if he sent me an apology email. I was like, oh, HR talked to this guy, and he knows that I complained, and they're sending me this email, unless I'm, like, misunderstanding the situation. I would feel exposed and be like, I didn't want him to know it was me. Yes. Because I did have, like, an inappropriate.
Starting point is 01:05:41 boss at one point who is like just behaving in kind of crazy ways nothing like you know sexual or whatever but it's scary to have to like report anybody yes and an office and I wouldn't want anyone to know it was me and if it's happening to enough people I mean he would have no idea was you anyways but yeah so I'm focused on the wrong thing I'm more of like no but I think I would freak out if I got to yeah but I think that's a good thing to be focused on I feel like I would love to know if there was, I would love to know if there's information in the actual, in the actual message that was clearer about if they were supposed to find out or not.
Starting point is 01:06:26 But, oh, that's a tough. And did she say she doesn't work there anymore also? I think she said she changed location. Oh, okay. What I took from that was that she still works for the company, but she doesn't work with him, whether it's a different part of the office or like an actual different office. Or like maybe it's a retail situation.
Starting point is 01:06:48 I couldn't. I don't have the, let me see if I can actually go back and, you know, because I can, I can, I can get the read. So I can really read this information, you know. Yeah, because I almost wonder if she's still working there, if HR would just follow up with her regardless after this and be like, hey, did you hear from him or something? Like, I wonder if there's further protocol to happen after that. Or if he just sends a letter into the void and that's it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:24 I don't know. I don't have it anyway. We need a lot of follow-ups from today. I know. But that's always the way with the advice. And there's nothing we can do about that. Do you ever do live callers? I tried it once.
Starting point is 01:07:39 No, no, no. I tried it once as an exercise, though, not as the main episode, as a bonus at the end of the episode. But I didn't have, I didn't have anyone to screen it. And they were great. This is no problem in anyone I talked to. But like, you know, if you need like, you'd need like an extra hand on deck to like, you know, talk to the people in advance. And, you know, but I do intend to do that eventually. But for this, again, honestly, I picked a lot today because I really wanted the dialers to to put their things. thinking caps on. See, the problem is that you can't help but think that this guy is probably a dick. And, you know, like, it is a red flag to think that he probably hasn't taken this seriously. So you almost kind of want to make something of it. But then it's so complicated.
Starting point is 01:08:32 You're really into that realm of how you want to be perceived. And that's always the issue with HR, right? It's like you feel like even though you've been wronged that by looking for any sort of justice, you get perceived as problematic. You know what I mean? And you had that situation with like an annoying boss. So it's a real, it's a real tough. Well, first of all, at least you did the first part, which was you complained, you know. But it's just, it's a hard one because she had to change.
Starting point is 01:09:10 locations because of this guy. So let's get some feedback so we can share. We're hanging on to three or four biggies. The dialers are going to be, there's going to have to be a follow-up. For sure. I also would love to see the message that he sent her. Wow. You're really getting into it now.
Starting point is 01:09:33 All the personal details, I'll accept them. I mean, I really needed you on this episode because there's just been a lot of, stuff that I know very little about. Like, I've never had, I mean, I've had people in, like, works at, you know, because, like, even in comedy, you can end up in situations where you're in an ensemble cast. And I've definitely had ones where, like, there's been weird dynamics, but I've never been in a situation where I felt unsafe or needed to complain. So it's, like, it's hard for me to see that.
Starting point is 01:10:04 But one thing I have definitely seen, I've definitely seen, and it tends to be man to woman, okay you know i'd love to be able to be more of an advocate for my own sex but tends to be man to woman and uh i've seen guys and i just i mean i've stuck up for women you know in in in the real situation but like not as many times as i've just seen stuff that's just made me uncomfortable a little bit you know it didn't raise to the level of like this is like an emergency that needs to be dealt with, but you see it a lot. So it's a hard one. I feel for you and I hope that the dialers come through for you in the next couple of weeks.
Starting point is 01:10:50 We will share the feedback that we get, you know. This is a call to action, right? This is a call to action, dialers. In saying that, this is something I meant to talk about before. Did I talk about the insane conversation I heard in the song? I know I've mentioned about the crazy things I've heard, but did I talk about the guy that was being overtly sexist. But the legs crossed things?
Starting point is 01:11:12 No. This is a new sauna topic. Every time I've gone into this sauna. It's like, it's insane. Like, I got to the point where I called Hannah. I was like, Hannah, you're not going to believe it. It's like, it's happened again. I'm not looking for it.
Starting point is 01:11:23 I'm not prompting anybody. I'm just listening. You know, the sauna is the rare place where I'm not the one talking. Okay? So I'm sitting in the sauna. Well, actually, I was walking into the sauna and a woman had just walked out. And when I got into the sauna, it was just guys. And this dude, like older man, like my age, was talking to like a younger guy.
Starting point is 01:11:46 Both of them were very fit in their age-related fitness. And the guy sitting, the guy on the lower bench was like literally, like within 60 seconds of me being there, which can only make me assume that they said something weird, which caused the woman to leave. The guy goes, you know, I'm sorry, but I'm just a pig. patriarchal guy. And I just think that, you know, a woman's place is in the home. Now, I'm paraphrasing a little bit, but not as much as you think. Okay.
Starting point is 01:12:15 It was as cliched a sexist comment as that. Okay. So then the young guy, and this guy said other things, but the young guy in the midst of this conversation, it's like, yeah, because I don't want my girlfriend working. It's like the minute, once we start going, you're not working. Because my girlfriend was a waitress. and I don't I don't want you serving other men this is this young guy
Starting point is 01:12:41 I'm like what and I'm like I know it's not true like I know he's showing off for this because the older dude is like like you know and he the older dude's super Christian too because he mentions one or two like the way God wanted it to be stuff right so this guy's like I don't want my girlfriend serving other men and I was like wow I said Miami is insane
Starting point is 01:13:04 that these men are just like, they're speaking, like, openly. They're not even concerned about me sitting in. So then the original guy is like, you know, starts talking about God. And then he's like, because, you know, it's just like men and women are different, you know. Like, I'm, you know, I was made to like, you know, be in the field. And she, you know, she was, she's in the home. I work hard to provide and she's in the home, making our home safe and raising our children. And so I had to stop myself.
Starting point is 01:13:38 So I really, this is literally, I had this every fiber in my body to stop myself. Because I was, I was literally about to say, oh, are you, are you, are you a farmer? I wanted to. In Miami. Yeah. Like, no, because I wanted to be like, do you realize how fucking stupid you? So I wanted to be like, yo, are you a farmer? Like, do you work in the field?
Starting point is 01:13:59 But I didn't because I just, like, I was like, I don't need this drum in my life, you know? so I stopped myself but man I want to and then this guy was like you know something about like I'm gonna if you come into my life I'm gonna shoot you I'm gonna protect so he starts going on to this protector fantasy shit you know it's like I'm gonna protect you if they're coming to the house I'm gonna shoot this guy or whatever and it's like first of all that's not happening bro for that to happen you have to be super fucking unlucky and it's a fantasy because you have no fucking idea. idea what's going to happen when somebody comes into the house. Like, it's just a fantasy. So, honestly, man, being in Miami a little bit, I've liked being down here, I've really enjoyed it. But the men have let me down. And I'm not just saying this because it's mostly women listening.
Starting point is 01:14:48 I'm not trying to, like, you know, get fucking equality points off the listeners. The men have been a fucking letdown. I mean, it's like the list goes on. I could nearly do a segment of, like, insane sexual shit I heard in the sauna this week. But I haven't been in the sauna for two weeks because I had surgery. So I can't, you know, I'm running out of material, you know? But like, it's crazy the culture down here.
Starting point is 01:15:17 Like when you watch that Manosphere documentary, they come to Miami. I just thought that was because there's like a couple of the influences. But no, it's a pervasive culture here. Like, it's really en masse that these men are like, sort of like, they've really become comfortable just like talking about that. each other. And then the same dude, the field, the farmer, forever, forever to be known as the farmer, the provider, the farmer, right? He comes back in, he leaves and he comes back in, and now he's actually sitting closer to me. But there's this other kid watching a video on his
Starting point is 01:15:52 phone. But it turns out, he's actually watching like a sermon. He's watching like a Christian preacher on a phone. I don't know this. The only reason I know it is because the farmer sits down next to him, looks at the phone and goes, oh, I love this guy's sermons. He, he gives great sermons. You know, so I'm like, wow, I'm, I'm, by the way, this is like a hip gym, like in a really cool part of Miami. This isn't like, you know, I'm not like, not in fucking Mar-a-Lago here. You know, it's pretty wild. Anyway. So you just don't say anything usually, or do you, like, ever lie for fun or try and, like, engage with them in some way? You just, I mean, I've had chat. I've had chats and so on it.
Starting point is 01:16:34 But in this situation, like, I don't feel like that's like a safe situation for me to get into it. Like, I don't, like, I don't trust myself, first of all to, like, keep it calm, right? And I just also kind of go, like, what, you know, what am I going to do? You know? And make this guy uncomfortable. Like, the best that I can do is make this guy uncomfortable for a short period of time. I am not changing this guy's mind. you know so I just don't think it's worth it now if the woman was still there and they were
Starting point is 01:17:10 deliberately having this conversation in front of her I may have said something you know like I said something to the cross leg guy that time you know the leg crossing guy but in this situation I just didn't feel like it was worth also I'm older now and injured so I got a little bit less bravado than I once had in terms of my ability to deal with potential escalation, especially knowing that I have the ability to end up in an escalation situation.
Starting point is 01:17:49 Well, I ask because it seems like you would really enjoy messing with people. No, I do. Yes. Not in like an aggressive way, but if you're like, oh, are you a farmer? Well, actually, I'm a farmer. Like, you seem like you would like, like,
Starting point is 01:18:00 like fucking with people in that way. Well, yeah, but like, honestly, I was going to say that really, honestly, to get into it with him, just like, in terms of just the ridiculousness of what he was talking about, you know. Tolling the fields in Miami. Not to mention that, like, you know, the ability to farm was actually part of human evolution. It wasn't actually, like, even down to whatever fucking creator these guys think made us. like we didn't figure the farming thing out for quite a long time actually you know so like did the creator make us to be like well within uh numerous tens of thousands of years they will eventually
Starting point is 01:18:44 figure out why what they're supposed to be just the men know the women will know immediately that they're just supposed to be bearers of the seed for these men that didn't figure out what they were supposed to be for tens of thousands of years. Like, I don't know, whatever, man. So I just didn't, I just didn't get into it. But, you know, I can, I can share it for entertainment. Oh, actually, I have one more question. Of course, we're going long now, but, uh, every now and then Hannah and I have these, like, not age gap moments, but moments of like, uh, are my expressions so old that she doesn't know? Or is Hannah just really like minimal on her colorful language expressions? So we've had so many over the years and we've discussed them on the pod as the crow flies and different things.
Starting point is 01:19:38 But yesterday's one was, I said baptism of fire. Are you familiar with this term? Is this like trial by fire, like similar to that or totally different? Well, a baptism of fire is the context would be like you just, you just, throw yourself into a situation like without really. Totally. Yeah. You're familiar with that turn? Yes.
Starting point is 01:20:02 Yeah. Oh, yeah. So in this situation, it's probably Hannah, not being a full breadth of colorful language. But anyway, dialers, you know what to do.
Starting point is 01:20:11 Message in. These ones always get the Spotify comments going. Because like, as the crow flies was real 50-50. Do you know what as the crow flies is? This is tough because there's so many that I've heard that if I were asked to define them, I wouldn't,
Starting point is 01:20:26 I wouldn't know. what to say. Well, give me the context, because obviously originally it came up in a context. I wasn't like, do you know what as the crow flies means? The context was like, she was like, oh, how do you get to there? And I was like, well, as the crow flies, it's not that far, but you can't, you know. Like a stone's throw, perhaps? Are these like in the same family?
Starting point is 01:20:47 Similar, except a stone's throw is basically just saying it's close, right? As the crow flies is basically you're saying in a straight line, it's not that far, but you can't get there that way. Ah. You know, so you don't know it, which is fine. I just, that was a real, that was a real divisive one because, uh, it didn't even split along like, oh, the Gen X is new and the Gen Zs didn't. It really split along some people knew it and some people did.
Starting point is 01:21:14 It's just like one of those ones. And maybe, you know, could that one could have been a cultural one, you know, but baptism of fire took me by surprise. I thought that was universal. So let us know, guys. Is, uh, is baptism of fire? Adesism? Or is this another situation where Hannah needs to up her pre-prepared phrases of descriptive language? Anyway, thanks everybody. Always love an advice episode. Leave Spotify comment. Hit me up on
Starting point is 01:21:48 Instagram with some prompt suggestions. Any guests that you'd love to see? Caitlin, O'Keefe, Caitlin Palufo, ended up in the final of Funny A.F. Coincidentally enough, she was a recent guest host on the pod, so congratulations to Caitlin. You know, truth be told, I thought, I was surprised that Usama didn't win. Voting can be, I was triggered, you know,
Starting point is 01:22:12 because I had a very controversial vote off on Dancing with the Stars. And, you know, I did feel that maybe Osama was robbed. But it doesn't matter. He's going to have a great career regardless. So anyway, any, any guest suggestions? please let me know and we'll talk to you guys next week thanks

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