Berner Phone - Eli Rallo: Slutty Snacks & Essays About Love

Episode Date: February 3, 2023

Eli Rallo is a Columbia Journalism School graduate who went viral for making snack jars during covid. She opens up about how she wrote her new book "I Didn't Know I Needed This" in spite of her anxiety and never ending chase for contentment. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning in Hell. What's up, guys? We are in hell yet again to talk about demons with no one other than Eli Rallo. Hi. What a name, though? Thank you. What an iconic, anic name? It is a little icon.

Is Eli short for something? No. My parents, like, they thought I was going to be a boy. I was their first kid. They didn't get the gender, which I find to be so scary. Like, who does that? And so they picked out one name. And then I was born and they were like, shit, like, we should pick a girl name with three letters.

And they couldn't decide on one. So they were just like, Eli, it is. And I'm like, that's so. My twin brothers are named Jack and Jake. Like, my parents are fucking awful at picking name. They gave up before they started. They were like, we're done. Wait, so do people call you Ellie a lot?

All the time. Yeah. And I usually answer to it honestly because it's easier. But then I feel like a therapist told me once she was like, you need to stop letting people consistently call you something that is not your name because you feel that. You're disassociating. Yeah. She was like, what do you mean you feel bad correcting someone about your name? And I'm like, I don't know. I feel bad. So I fully have Michael Rapaport on this pot all the time. And he's like my religion. I'm obsessed with him. And the fact he even wants to record with me is amazing. And he calls me Hana. And she just calls me Hana. like let it happen and i i've never once he was like isn't hannah i was like hannah and then he was like hey hana and i was like call me hit me with a truck and i would say thank you yeah literally run me the fuck over and i'm thinking so much names are socially constructed who gives a shit but um eli's fucking cool i don't just say it's cool you work it thank you i discovered you on ticot and you're immediately a vibe like you're very yourself and i feel like you're very smart and witty which i obviously was like, okay, this girl, like, has funny shit to say. But your name on TikTok's The Jar. Yeah. I'm late to the game. What does the jar mean? And what does it have to do with you?

Yeah. So literally back in the early days of TikTok, which I feel like most of like the TikTok native creators, which is what they call us when we blew up there first. I think a lot of us went viral for like doing random shit. And then back then, it was a lot easier to just be like, now we're going to move and do this instead and people would just be like okay which is like not a thing nowadays with like because back then people were like give us anything yeah they were like we don't care there's not a lot of you the dark historic times yeah like 20 20 day I was like fucking around with my brothers in my house and like we made this like jar and then it went like oddly viral I meant to post it on friends only to show my friends like we're making a high snack like we're putting candy and like whatever and I put it on public it got like

500,000 views like the next morning so a lot of people were like but what is this so then i was like i'm an actress like i'm just gonna have fun with this so i made this like really crazy over the top video explaining it with like photos and music and people so you leaned into the role oh so hard that video two million views so people hadn't even seen the other one it was like that was the video so explain to me what how big was the jar like i haven't even seen okay yeah so it's like um well obviously like nobody can see this if they're listening but it's like a gallon size like imagine a gallon huge gallon jar yes then imagine like you go to Target and you get every snack that you like and you put it all in.

So it's like Cheetos, pretzels, popcorn, like any candy, chocolate M&Ms, nuts, whatever. And then you mix it up. And then it's kind of like trail mix glorified. Well, this, I just realized like we've been, we're playing checkers, you're playing chess. We've been eating the same type of trail mix forever. And the fact that you're like popcorn, I'm like, oh my God, why not? And like Swedish fish or whatever the fuck. Like, why is trail mix so basic?

it's so fucking boring and then people were always like this is like yassified trail mix this is like next level trail mix and people just thought it was so fun and then we're like aesthetically pleasing probably to see it get filled up it is and it is just like silly and then we like really it was like dark covid so we were doing crazy shit with it we put like all our thanksgiving leftovers in there one time and like mixed it up people were like this is nasty like it was like shock value things and then i moved to new york to go to grad school and i was like hey guys no more jar it's so fucking expensive i'm broke. You also just had a steady diarrhea throughout. Yeah, we were all ill. And I'm like trying to eat it all before we made the next one. Your cholesterol levels are just spiking. Yeah, doctors were like, what it's going. And so I was like, I'm not going to do it as much anymore, but like stick around if you want. And a lot of people. So you had like a formal announcement. You were like, I can't be jar girl forever. Yeah, no, I was so dramatic, but I didn't know what else to do. Because I was like moving to New York, like with like five roommates to go to grad school. So I made this video, me like hey everyone like I know you guys came for this but like I'm also here and I'm gonna like

just share my life in New York and like other things like I like other stuff and I had been like peppering it in like I like astrology I'm like I like to like say funny shit and put it online like I studied theater whatever and they were all like okay cool sounds good and like I was so lucky for that like nobody was because I feel like you can get people to follow you because the concept is unique but people stay because they like your energy I always like to say people don't remember what you say they remember how you make them feel so if you're still bringing the same vibe it's like you see you on just different journeys and there's like eras because i feel like you weren't doing a lot of like the street interviewing no but now probably so many people know you because of that and it's

like there was so many fucking eras before that that other people found you from yes that's such a great point and i also it's important that when you do something like to be down with change like i told you i was a tweeter and people were like why is your all your tweets on your same profile like create a meme page and I'm like because one day I'm gonna wake up and I'm not gonna want tweet anymore yeah I know like that's called evolving and growing and I love to kind of see how things change and I think because of the pandemic which is like obviously a huge change in life is when opportunities come yeah so like it's fun to do something but like I have ADD I get bored really easily and like the man the street interviews who knows what's going to be next but I'm not

going to be doing those forever yeah so I think it's very cool that you had the like self awareness to like you know scar girl yes oh wait no i was listening to you explain scar girl i know i need someone who knows the scar girl i don't even think you understand how fucking involved i am with okay thank you because page was like what are you talking about i don't know what it is and you're like no no no and when you were doing that i was like thank god but what really gets me is like if she is lying like she is getting a bag like she's getting so much attention at the very least like If this woman's in the creator fund, it's blowing up. So if people don't know, this girl, like, had a scar, and she's so cute.

She's just, like, a college girl. And then one day, the scar is, like, slightly fading. And one day it comes out just, like, brown, like, fully dark brown and slightly different angle. In one, it's, like, a straight line. And the other one, it's, like, a U-shape. Yes. And, but the people that are on Photoshop, there are people, like, buying monthly Photoshop packages so that they can, like, cross, like, reference.

her old scar and her new one and like the shade I'm like where do you get the time like also where do we have the time to spend four hours looking at watching my my most recent search hashtag is like hashtag scar girl hashtag scar girl revealed and I'm be honest I like don't trust people on the internet like the people coming for people like whenever people come for people I always am like I'm gonna like they're coming for her and it's fucked up so I try to defend her but then her video is defending herself are like a little too defensive for me yeah she has like 400 excuses she's like and then it kind of burnt and then she's like the self-tanner goes away like there's no way look if it was self-tanner every bitch out here with a little scar would have a brown dot yeah would have a brown like so i'm like rooting for her but like low-key i'm like i don't believe you but i want to believe you or just like do it a little better like she puts the cute tip in like the mysler water and doesn't touch her face and it's so obvious I'm like, honey. But also like, people are like, if this is a con, this is just like an amazing con.

But she is an example of someone who like kind of feels like her only worth is within the scar. Yeah. But it takes confidence for you to be like I've actually, but I guess it sounds like you have a lot of different avenues of things you're interested in. You're obviously going to grad school, which is fucking smart. Yeah. And you went to Michigan and studied all this shit, which is smart.

Yeah. Like it's not like you were 17 and you did a couple of dance moves and you were like, I don't want to like learn anything else which is valid too I don't judge that either yeah yeah no it definitely is like an interesting thing but I was like I'm just gonna capitalize on this moment like I've always like to like create things yes same studied theater I've always been a writer and I always wanted to just like I wanted to do exactly what I'm doing now but I had no idea how to like communicate that yes and I also didn't want to be an influencer like I just wanted to like talk to people like on the internet and in person and shit yeah like I feel like I'm kind of similar to you where like people will

call you an influencer? Like I'll even look at threads and like your name is thrown around. I'm just talking like people talk about in New York City people. And then I look at you and I'm like, but she's just trying to create fun content. But I guess because you have like a fashion about you and you're young and you're like in the scene. And you like know, they immediately will be like, oh, she's an influencer if you know other influencers. Because you hang with some other yeah. And like you go and like post one photo with an influencer once and they're like, influencer. Or yeah, you're like this makeup was cool. And then they're like, influencer. Yeah. You get one PR box. And they're like, I didn't have an influencer.

Meanwhile, it's funny because I feel like, people, like, no matter what I do, they, like, will not consider an influencer. Like, she's not an influencer. People make fun of me. Like, I do an Amazon storefront and they think it's ironic. And I'm like, no, like, I, like, want to, like, this is a joke. Like, it's a bit. And I'm like, okay, let's lean in.

So, like, this is so funny for your content. Like, this is the best bit I've ever seen. It's just shits on my Amazon storefront. And I'll be, like, sweep up. Paige is an influencer. Like, I would actually consider her an influencer. I'm, like, I would actually consider her an influencer. I'm literally like the Walmart page, which is just what I've leaned into.

But what's funny is there is, are you familiar with that cupcake jar company? Yes. Like, because she started, it wasn't during the pandemic, it was like way before, but she sells these jars with like cakes and shit. Danny, Jars by Danny. Dars by Jars by Jars by D. Did any part of you think, do I sell these crazy jars? Yes, like for a really long time and people were like, do it, do it, do it.

But like, how does one, I'm so like. The admin? Recently I was talking to my family because they're like, you need to start a business. like that's your next step which probably not but in my brain i was like what like we were coming up with ideas like just for fun and i'm like if i want to start a company what how do you fucking do that like do you just look up like i would you know what i would do distributor i'm i'm crazy with that like i tried to start like a fruit veggie roll up company i've started ever i did tie-dye company way before it was cool do tie-dye all failed all fail but i would do a subscription thing with you where each month

they get a jar oh see that's really cute yeah yeah yeah and like you and like It's not that expensive. And then you just know each month you got to ship these out. And it's like a consistent. It's not like a random. Like that's what I would do for you. We can talk about it after. You're like Robin.

These are the PR moves for the jar. Oh my God. I'm literally Robin. Your attorney's into my pod and she was like, we're doing this all wrong. But also if you're not into that like physically selling shit is so not that it's waste, but it's so much crap. It's so much shit. And then you have to fit like podcasts. We don't have any like yeah, I have to pay for the studio.

but I don't really have overhead where that you're like spending out of your pocket sometimes I listen to like how I built this podcast oh I love listening to it doesn't make fully sense it doesn't make sense they're always like and then one day like I was just Fortune 500 and I'm like no you weren't she goes like I put up my Squarespace website and we sold a hundred grand in two days and you're just like you're missing something there's something like how many makeup companies are there why did Kosas blew up at versus like all the other ones all the other ones I'm fascinated by that shit. Yeah.

Oh, did you just see that? I don't know if you saw this, but I just watched video on my way here that Tart fired their entire marketing team. They got back. The entire thing. All of them listed director of brand marketing, director of PR events. Like, every single person got fired. Wait, because I thought that Tart was killing it because it's all people talked about. I thought it was.

So whoever's in charge does not believe that all press is good press. So apparently, I guess this creator was saying that, they did not see a change in sales due to the trip. I don't know how they would know that. Like where the fuck did they get that information? But like I kind of believe her. She seemed kind of like, she seemed like an authority figure.

And then she pulls up the LinkedIn. And it's the whole entire marketing team. And it was posted on LinkedIn as like looking for new people the minute they landed. Like they landed in the States. Like here we go. Oh my God. Holy shit. Okay.

So then some of people were saying it wasn't actually in Dubai. It had to. There was a room. Sorry, that's a crazy room. It was just like one of those private jets in L.A. where it's just like. It's like a nice, they went from like Santa Monica to like two hours away. They're like, this is a desert.

Get out. Yeah, they like they found a camel. I just think that there's a difference between brand awareness and sales though. Yeah. Like this was huge for brand awareness. You have to factor that in. I was cracking up at the people being like, I am disturbed by this. I'm like, do you know that you're doing exactly?

what they want you to do. If you're so disturbed, turn off your phone. Like, they, they want you to say that shit. You're literally being like, tart cosmetics is disturbing. I'm like, their website is linked below. Yeah. If you want to go look at the website and never buy something from them again, click the link in my bio. Well, their thing was they brought all these people on this trip and they did not force them to post, which like, I know other places have done that, but they had like, like Rare Beauty had like a specific thing they were promoting. Yeah. That like you don't have to post about but you kind of felt like,

I might as well see if I like it or not. Yeah. Where theirs was just like a general like tart collaborating with Sephora. Yeah. So that's a brand awareness trip. You're not doing a discount code. Like you can't expect sales. I don't.

Yeah, I think like it's the same thing that I always say with like TikTok ads. Like I feel like in general you're not going to see a skyrocket in sales because an influencer didn't add with you. It's like over time. Yeah. People will start associating that brand with us. and when they need something in that, like, genre. Exactly.

Like a TV commercial for insurance, you're not going to like, oh, I need to buy insurance. But eventually you want insurance, you're like, you know those Geico has a pretty, they get a little laugh out of me. Yeah, I think it's like kind of that. But I guess it's not going well for them. Wait, that's crazy. It's like the tea I just saw on TikTok. I was like, oh, my God. I've also never seen a brand trip get that kind of press at all.

I feel like it's going to change brand trips forever. I feel like now people are tuned in. They have to be iconic. They have to be iconic, or otherwise it's... Brintchips are my nightmare. My worst nightmare. Like, I would love to get invited somewhere cool, but I need a lot of alone time. And also, I cannot be glam.

Like, I don't... I guess, like, there's no requirement to look good, but I don't like, like, actively making myself look good all the time. No, the, when the girls are just, like, running around the bikinis, like, perfect tan, like, I would be bloated on the side, sun burnt. Like, having some stomach digestive issues, for sure. I don't even like depression I would like ruin everyone's photo I just it's it's definitely like a skill set oh yeah also I've like taken photos for influencers before like other influencers have been like hey can you take a photo of me and like their feedback has been like you are fucking horrible at taking photos I'm like yeah it's a thin line between like is it me or is it the lighting yeah who knows the call is going to say I'm like I'm trying to get better but like I just know some photo days it could be fucking the most famous photographer

in the world I'm gonna look like shit yeah I'm having a bad face day and I own it yeah oh my god but I do think the brand trips they're problematic in itself where like all the girls are white or like all them are skinny all them look the fucking same we're like let's have some like regular interesting people on these trips why does everyone have to look like a model I think it would be really cute if they had like influencers bring plus ones that are their followers like you have to hand select a follower that also could be insane though it could be oh it could go so much that could go really bad but for the content for my entertainment i'm personally won't be there but i'll be watching can you imagine it can be reality television i was about to say this is giving me reality tv

PTSD because like they locked us in a house one season and it was the worst experience in my life was for covid because we used to just film weekends and drive back and like it was you can't can't get a long time and like if you're sharing a room with someone you have to pretend you're shitting for like an hour just to like get back to yeah to like reality speaking of how's your mental health how's depression anxiety are we a cocktail both I think we're we've been a cocktail but I'm pretty like good with the depression these days my anxiety has always been bad since I was like really little I feel like it comes in waves and I also feel like randomly I like in the last year like my prefrontal cortex like developed fully like well how old are you I'm 24 you're not there yet you have two more years okay but I feel like it's like developing in a way that like all of a sudden I like my brain feels like opened more and I feel like it's making the anxiety worse because I'm like I'm thinking you too self aware yeah I'm too self aware ignorance is bliss yeah and I'm like wait why do I think I miss the like what was I doing in college like I had no thoughts like and now all of a sudden there's like thoughts on thoughts how did your anxiety like manifest when you

were a kid. Panic attacks when I was really like little, little. Like I started like therapy and whatnot when I was like eight. I remember like my mom always says I just like hated going to school because I like had all these fears that she like wouldn't come pick me up and like it was like anxious attachment like that and then panic attacks. And then those really went away like probably through high school. And then I was like fine. And then I went to college and I was not fine. And that's like when it got like bad. And then it got better. And then I feel like now it's just like I have a pretty good ways of managing it, but it's still like, you know, every day is a new day. Like you never know. I feel like I'm not trying to make your head big, but I feel like you're very smart, which is like literally why you're mentally ill. Oh, all the smart girlies are like the most mentally ill.

Because your brain is working so fast that you can run circles around a moment to find the worst situation. Yes. I also therapy myself. So I'll be like talking to my therapist and I'll be like, well, I actually know the reason that this is happening. and she's like, this is like not how you do this, but then she's also like, but you're also like low keep right. Like she has trouble. We have trouble like getting anywhere because I'll be like, but I've already decided why. And she's like, okay, like maybe. She's like, you need me, but like whatever you're doing right now is making this worse. And what the cool thing is you're now, what stage are you in

this book? Because I've been hearing a lot about this book. Yes. So basically, Harper Collins is on a strike right now, which is just like a obviously very large piece. of it. So it did it. Would I know. Learn a huge strike and it's really sad and like support the union. We support the union. But my editor's on strike.

And so there was like some changing of the guards in terms of leadership for my book because contractually it should be like in copy edits now. But because of the delay, which is like so understandable it's not. So it was due in December, which was like my final copy. And then I was supposed to get one more round of edits. But that was super delayed. So the one more round of edits is coming February 28th. And then it's due back to them on April 1st.

and then I will not be able to touch it again and then it'll go into like copy editing which is like little like grammar and like fact checking yeah and then we'll do pre-order and like the cover and that'll be in May or June did you want to be an author yeah my whole life oh that's very cool yeah wait that's amazing also when you get edits are you good at receiving the edits because this is like you pouring your heart and soul into a book yes it's also just like so tough because this book is so personal to me, which is awesome, and I love that. But it's like, I'm, I've always been the kind of person where, like, if I'm being praised over something, I'm wondering, like, well, where's my challenge? Like, where's my criticism? And when I was in college, like, I was in

creative writing as a minor. And I felt like I was, like, the star of the class and a lot of my classes. And then I got to my senior year and I had this professor and he never once complimented my writing. And nothing ever made me a better writer. Like, I was fucking working so hard to get him to compliment my writing because I was like everybody else thinks him the best like what the fuck and I would literally I remember posting on my snaptub being like Doug will not tell me I'm a good writer and I worked my ass off though to finally get him to be like the growth that you have like exhibited in this class is like amazing and it like made my writing so much better anything for Doug yeah seriously like I ride for Doug um so these days I feel like when I get the like criticism and edits and whatnot

I'm pretty good with them because I realize like it's actually can improve and these people like know what they're doing. No, that's a really good perspective because when I understand like with math, they're like, we have some edits. This is a mistake. But with creativity, it could be so subjective. And like I know definitely like with comedy, people can have so many different perspectives. And then you have your own voice that they might not understand. So it gets, it can get like muddy. I hate when people criticize comedy because I'm like, we all find different things funny, but also like that person is just like telling you stories about themselves. Like do you not like them? Like what the fuck is wrong with you? Oh yeah. I had someone comment.

they were like all hannah talks about is being from brooklyn and playing tennis and i'm like okay that's just me this is my life so like i don't think you don't like that i talk about too much i think you just don't like like me as a person and then like for a year i was like don't talk about tennis on the podcast because people are annoyed then i was like but it's literally my only reference point for literally anything no i like when you talk about it too and i feel like it shows you're well-rounded you have like different literal eras of your life not to say it's internalized misogyny but like I feel like if a dude was constantly like, yeah, when I played basketball, people would be like, yeah, yeah, jerk it off. That's so cool. Tell me more about basketball. Retell me that story told a hundred times by when you don't did.

Yeah. Anyway. But it's all about like love your relationship with yourself, your relationship with other people. At what point were you like, I have something to say? Because I feel like with comedy I should to say. But when I've been like thinking about book writing and I constantly am like, who I haven't found the meaning yet. Yeah. Yeah. No. So it's it's kind of like a fun. story. I always knew I wanted to write, but I was like, I'm going to write fiction. But in college, my best writing, like, the writing that won awards was like narrative nonfiction, which is personal essay. And so I always knew, like, okay, this is definitely like my strongest suit. I just love fiction. And so after I graduated, I got my master's at Columbia in journalism because I was like, I should be like realistic with my life and be a journalist. And then TikTok happened and Instagram. And I was like, I want to figure out. You're like, I'm going to be a war journalist. Then you're like, jars. Yeah. No, I'm like, oh, me got snacks.

Columbia was like they dead ass like delete your social media if you want to be a serious journalist I was like okay like should I like just withdraw but I got my degree but that's fucking crazy that like I actually I was like communications because I couldn't do journalism because I was almost on steam and it was like too much of a commitment I was not to just grinding they're like you're too dumb to do journalism school but Larry Jones is the journalism school when I was in it Instagram wasn't even a thing yet 2013 and I was I started in 2009 so think about like how journalism we were learning about newspapers and radio podcasts were not popular we did we had a podcast class like we didn't have that and the fact that they even told you to delete your social

media like every journalist has their social media up on everything and so it's like we were doing that and then i was like okay i don't really want to be a full-time ticotker for so long like i don't want it to be a writer i want to be a writer i've always wanted to be a writer yeah and so i was like i'm going to figure out i'm either going to get like a column in a magazine or something and then in tandem I like started writing a blog where I was just like posting my writing and I was also doing Instagram boxes and they were supposed to like ask me anything and I thought people would be like what jeans are you wearing? Yeah. I'm like what kind of conditioner do you use? But they were like what do I do if the guy that I'm dating um if I like bled all over his bed and like threw up and

then fucked his roommate like and I was like oh like nobody gives a fuck about what clothes I'm wearing at all like and so I started. You're a different kind of influence. No yeah I started giving advice only because like that is the only thing people were putting in the question boxes and I think people just saw me as someone that's like unbiased and they relate to and it's like calling up a friend and being how do I deal with this situation but the friend only knows what you're telling them yeah and so it's like an interesting third party and so my agents actually saw that and my writing on the blog and a bunch of my writing from college and they emailed me and they were like were these agents and like if you want to write fiction we can connect you and you can write fiction

but like we do not nonfiction we think you should write this book and so I took a meeting with them sign with them and they were like and we think this should be the book and so they kind of told me and then we shaped it together so they like gave me the idea they were like something with your rules lists and like this question box thing that you do and like all this stuff and like we were putting it together and they were like oh yeah and then that was that wow i mean it is it's cool that you're coming from like ivy league like your own voice and your own writing experience to be able to take someone else saying this is an idea we have for you and for you to like collaborate with them because I could see a lot of people like their egos being like I'll think of a better idea

kind of thing no I was like this I remember like when I got the email from my one agent and she like wrote all the other people that like they like have taylor jenkins reed signed and nicholas sparks and like all of these writers that I like look up to actively could never even see myself being on the same client page on their website like I was hysterical I was like this is literally my dream come true like and I always say like I was always on the path I just didn't know how many like forks in the road in like different directions I was going to go and I really let life take me and I'm glad that I did because there's no one way to get anywhere yeah and also if you had stuck with jars this wouldn't have happened exactly like the jar but we love her she's like we know we literally

love her that's like what I say about like reality TV like I did reality TV first and I love her but like she was a she got me like out of my nine to five yeah but she wasn't the entertainment that I felt like I could be like happiest then. And sometimes you need that stepping stone and then people are like oh damn Hannah's really fucking funny and creative like we don't even need to watch her on TV we can watch her on TikTok and like her do her thing. Dude TikTok literally like brought me back to life because I was like oh I could be myself here and people didn't even know anything else. I didn't. Yeah. I mean I actually I'm trying to think of when I first saw you. I was seeing your videos

but then my best friend was like you have to I'm like a big girl's got to eat. Oh I love girls got to eat. And so I, I, like, fan-gurled over them so hard. Like, they're so nice to me, but they're probably like, fuck you. They're like, shut the fuck up. And so my best friend was, like, on Giggly Squad, they were talking about Hannah's Bachelorette. And Raina and Ashley were there. You have to listen to it. And that's when I put it all together about you. I was like, oh, I've seen this girl on TikTok. I had seen your wedding content. But then I put it all together. I had no idea about the reality TV. Like, literally nothing. It's funny because with you, I feel like I, you had been writing something. I saw that you were a writer and I thought that was cool. And I, like, didn't put together.

that you were the girl. I also thought was funny on TikTok. Yeah, it was like, it was happening. We're just multi-dimensional. We're so talented. But I do think when you have a sense of humor, people inherently, like, have to trust you to, like, trust that they know where you're going with the joke. So I feel like with the trust you've gained of not just being like, oh, I recommend the sweater. You're like funny and insightful. Because at first I'm like, she's so young. What could she be talking about with like love and relationships? But it's more like your unique perspective on it all. And I do think that the best part is, like, people are like, what gives you the agency and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, what ground do you have to stand on?

I'm like, none. That's the cool thing, though. Yeah. It's like, I am going to be 25 when the book comes out. I am. You're like, I am a quarter. Yeah. Like, I am so young. But, like, the point of the book is to give people the thing that I wish I had when I was 20 and 19 and 21. And even now, like, it's called I didn't know I needed this because a lot of my followers say that to me. And that was the title my agent came up with his genius we like combed through all my comments for like a day to find like what like to extrapolate the most like poignant ones yeah the meaning of all the content so that's why it's called that but i really feel like a lot throughout the book a lot i say i didn't know how much i needed to hear what i know now and it's just like something like

i don't know i read about like queffing and like gross shit that i just like wish like i didn't even touch a vibrator till i was 21 because nobody talked about it no nobody was talking about like It's not embarrassing to bleed on his, but it's, this isn't that, that, you know, there was no, like, conversations happening. And now there are so many more, but I just want to make there be more because I would have been so much happier had I had, like, even, like, a call her daddy back in the day, like, when I was a freshman in college and could listen to girls talk about sex. Yes. Because, like, we weren't doing that. No. And I also think if you were, like, 35, it would be harder for you to write things that, like, a 19 year old would fully comprehend where you're, like, close enough to it that you're, like, bitch, I just.

I just went through this and I can like kind of hold your hand a little. And I also think that there's like the Glenn and Doyle of it all where she's like so wise and I don't claim to be wise. But I think that there's a spot for both of us. Like there's a spot for wisdom and people that have like really lived through things. And there's a spot for somebody who's 24 or 25 to be like this is the shit that I wish we were talking about more like and you don't even have to agree with me but let's all just talk about it together. Yeah. Like that's kind of what it is. And also you're like a fucking legit writer.

Like you're not like, hey, I'm kind of good with captions. And I'm like put it all together. I think I could fuck up a book. I think I could fuck up a book big time. Yeah, it's crazy. People were like, was it hard to write it? And I'm like, no. Like, it's a thing that comes most naturally to me in the entire world.

Like, it was definitely not every day was easy. There was like periods of writers block. And it was also like some of the chapters were really difficult emotionally to write and get through. Yeah. But it was never once like this is a labor. Like I'm, this is so hard. How long did it take? So I got to choose six or nine months.

I chose six. So I did it in six. So I did it from May until like October. I'm fascinated by this because it's something. I've never done. What is your like process? My process. Yeah. So like what did your day look like. Yeah. I can't write at home. I feel like I always compared to like, you know when like babies like or like toddlers that have diapers like can't shit in front of other people, they like go hide. Wait, I didn't know this. You didn't know this. Babies like and toddlers. Like they'll get like embarrassed. Like once they like reach the age of like knowing that. Yeah. And they'll go like walking around and like. Oh yeah. That is me with writing. If I'm at home and people know that I'm like in my process, I would literally be like I'm sober.

Oh, yeah, because you're thinking how they're thinking that you're thinking. Exactly. And I'm like, I can't do this. And like, they're wondering. They probably don't give a fuck. I'm like, everybody in this home is wondering what is going on in here. They, like, I'm trying to be Carrie Bradshaw right now. Yeah, like, everyone's shut up.

And so I've never been able to do it, like, not even in high school. So I like, also, my ADD likes noise and I like a lot of stuff going on at once, which I know a lot of people are like, nope, that does not focus. But it helps me to focus if I have, like, music or I'm at a coffee shop. I had an office for a little while while I was writing the book. Oh. Just like, so I had a place to go and write. So I did that.

And then my process is always music. Like, no matter what I always have music on. And then if I ever... What kind of music? I like, like, chill vibes. So it depends on the day. Like, I have tons of playlists. I love...

Are there lyrics in it? Yes. So I'll listen to, like, Sarah Borrellas, Nora Jones. I'll listen to Miss Swift sometimes, like, depending on the day. And then I always have, like, lots of beverages around me, candles. I like, ambience. Obviously, people, like I said, I like it to be, like, kind of noisy. And then if I ever get writer's block, I read.

I read because I think it just is like the best way to inspire yourself. So if I'm like writing something and I I know what I want to say or can't get it out or I'm like stuck at a point in an essay specifically since I just did essays, I'll like read an essay that somebody else wrote or I'll read like my favorite author. And it reminds you like, oh, it's possible to like put a thought together. Yes. Or like, okay, that just like jump started my creativity now. Like I'm feeling creative or I'll listen to like a really well constructed song that I love.

And I'm like, okay, they wrote that. I can write this. But I don't have like, I know there are writers who like I wake up at 5 a.m. and write and there are writers that like like to get high and write at night. I definitely think I have good ideas during that time, but I'm like a daytime kind of gal. Yeah. Oh my God. I love that so much. It's really like it. I feel like you've been manifesting it for a while. So you finally were able to like put it all together. I mean, you really are like an athlete where like you've trained your whole life for this moment. It's crazy. I really like my whole life. Like sometimes it's still really like crazy to me. And I feel like I never understand and

syndrome until now could always be like imposter syndrome like when I went to Columbia I was like I feel imposter syndrome because I feel like people are better than me but I didn't realize that what imposter syndrome really feels like at least to me is like not even believing that it's happening like I when it first started happening and I was first writing the book I couldn't even like my therapist was like well it is so we just have to mentally get you on it is like we don't need you to like process because you're you're on a deadline here like just keep telling you're affirming yourself just like okay let's say it's not happening just still right yeah

right you got a right but like in my brain i was like i can't even like formulate the thoughts and i'm still getting there and i don't even know if i'll like fully like actualize it until the day that it arrives i don't even know i because at this point still i'm like what the fuck like sometimes i'll just think about it and be like what and it's just like i don't know like that was like i've never also had my any of my like biggest dreams or goals happen in my life like i didn't get into the college i went to go to like it didn't i didn't have like you know the big came that like came true like obviously goals have come true but like this was one thing that I've been carrying with me since I was like six years old I have no idea like now I'm like what do

you do with this well I also feel like in the media you're always seeing people like their dreams come true yeah they're like winning the tournament or like they're winning the award yeah and you're just like oh that's not something that happens to me though that's like some crazy thing yeah but for you you also realize that like once it happens this is a thing From my elder years, when something great happens to you, you've always dreamed that when it happens, you become a different person. But it's weird because you're the same person you were two seconds before you got the news. But now you have it. And you think that you're supposed to be different now where you're supposed to become this like perfect, happy, fulfilled being.

Yes. But you're still you. You're just still yourself. So you just like evolve with it. And then also it's going to become a point where you're going to actually not feel fulfilled with it and be like, well, I have to like be in your time's best seller. And, like, I have to do this. I have to level up. How long is the book?

The book is, so it's currently pretty long. Like, it's really long right now. We have to cut it down. I'm pretty sure it's going to end up being 90,000 words, which I want to say just shy of 300 pages. Oh, my God. But if I just say right now, it's 400, but we're cutting. Holy shit. I like to write long because instead of them having to mine for details out of me, I would

rather them have to take things away. So I put everything on the page. They have everything, every detail. Yeah. And shit they don't need. so then they'll just be able to be like cut, cut, cut, cut. But with you, I was talking about, like, once you get it, you're going to want more. It sounds like you really love the journey of it all.

Like, you love the writing process where some people, like, maybe just wanted, like, their name up there. Like, you actually enjoy the art of it all. Yeah. And that's why, like, you can have a long-term sustainable career with it. I do love it. It's really weird, though, like, my friend pointed this out to me. We were talking about, like, when your hobby becomes something that you're making money for

or looking for validation from and then it's no longer a hobby. And that was a little heartbreaking for me. because she was saying she was like this is my best friend she was like my therapist told me I needed to find a hobby that I was doing for just me that I wasn't looking for validation from and that I wasn't making money from and I and I like started to spiral I was like well that was writing for me that was poetry and like that was all the things I used to do and now it's like my main job so I'm like okay like this what I always wanted what the fuck is my hobby now like what I literally my therapist was like do something that you would never like post about and I was like but it's like I started sewing but I wanted to sew something funny like I have to poop and I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I have to poop and I was like was like, well, I need to pose this. This is hilarious. And then I was like, no, I failed already. She told me not to do it. Like, I just like, everything is like, I want to pose. Like, I'm, my therapist will be like, go get your nails and so you're not touching your phone. I'm like, yeah, but then I'm going to be like, look at my nails. I'm like, it's also like, I sat there. It's just like the culture. Like, I'm not even showing off. I almost feel like it's

something like you just want to tell your friends about. And, but it's hard for me too because I was, I was joke. Like, I was the funny one in the group chat or like, all my friends were funny. So it was, that was our thing. I think we're all funny. And now I'm getting paid. Now I'm getting paid because I was funny in the group chat and you're it but it is a thin line between yeah some comedians like stop laughing in real life like like like like some comics you'll say something funny in conversation they go that's funny and I'm like why don't you laugh and they're like they just look at everything in terms of like is it funny or not dude it's like a real thing in the comedy community and it's hard to be friends with people like that because you're like I need a laugh from me I'm feeling kind of shitty and you're just like looking at me with a dead face going that's funny. And I'm like, I don't believe you. You're like, I don't even know if you're saying that. Yeah. But I feel like writing is such a like wide range of stuff that like you can still do your poetry

and you can write for fun still. Like no one has to see it. I know. No one has to see it. But I do. I grew up with the like, you know, 17 magazine and Cosmo magazine. And I grew up, which is so crazy. Like I loved interviewing people.

Yeah. Like when I was little, I would like go to a restaurant with like a pad and be like, why do you want to be a waiter? And my mom would be like, I'm sorry. She thinks she's a journalist. And now I'm like interviewing people on TikTok. You're also really good at interviewing people. I feel like it's a skill set.

But like when I listen to this podcast or like any time that you're doing the street interviews even like you're just good at it. Like you're sort of you got to the point. You ask you the question. I really like I like that I want to get right to the point. I don't want willy-nilly. Yeah. You don't need like anything else in there. Yeah.

I feel like I do attract like a certain kind of person that like knows that will be open and vulnerable in the right way with me. But thank you for that. Okay. Now you're throwing me off because you give me compliments and I'm not used to. Wait. So you also have, are in a relationship. Yeah. How long have you been together?

How did you meet? We've been together for two years. We actually met. Okay, forever. Yes. It's like really like my most long term relationship other than like my ex who I was like on again off again with for two years. But we met. It's actually my favorite story ever.

His friend and I matched on hinge like right when COVID started. Not right when COVID started. It was like June of 2020. We weren't going to meet up but we were just like chatting on the app and then we like followed each other on social media. Never met up because like COVID. Yeah. Then like seven, eight months later, it's like February, people are just getting vassed. Like restaurants are kind of opening slow, slow roll outdoors. And this guy like saw my TikTok live and then texted me and he was like, hey, like, I saw your TikTok live and

like it just like sparked a memory of you in my brain that like we have connection to one another. Like I have a and then I responded and I was like, oh, so you're going to take me on a date now? And he goes, I actually have a girlfriend. However, I was like, what the fuck are you texting me? Yeah. But I was like, whatever. I was like, well, I mean, okay, that's That's good for you. And then he was like, but maybe I could set you up with one of my friends. And I was like, okay. Okay.

We'll see how that goes. I feel like I've never seen a straight guy do that for someone. You'll be like, do you have any cute friends? And they're like, oh, I don't know. Yeah. And so I was like, okay, like, let me see him. So he sends me this photo where like, it's like 10 men. And I'm like, all right.

And at this point, I kind of want to like just be annoying and be like, yeah, I'll go. I'll give my phone. So I'm like, yeah, I'll go. I'll give him my phone number. and then I canceled twice because like social anxiety so bad hadn't dated in a while and then I went and it was the kind of thing where I was like oh fuck like I'm gonna have to cut off all my hose now like I'm like actually gonna be in love with this person and this was a one-on-one date you guys went on yeah I'm so intuitive I almost hate how intuitive I am but I like literally sat down at the table and I was like yeah that that'll get it that'll get her like I really like and I didn't like know for sure but I had like a very strong gut instinct that I was going to have to like tell all the other guys that like I have been, like, chit-chat. Was he your traditional type? Kind of, yeah.

My traditional type is, like, Jewish guys, glasses. They have to, they have to be different from me, but have an appreciation for, like, art. And, like, you know, usually a red flag for me is if they're, like, not gay, but did drama club. That's usually a green flag. That's a green flag. That's, like, okay, go. That's good. Like, I love a man who was, like, in foot loose.

Like, it was great. And they all were, like, every man I ever dated. was like in college improv comedy like loved like love to watch the greatest showman like it's a tight line to walk it is a thin fucking line thin fucking line but I love walking it but it is a niche man wait I love that for you because I always tell people like it's it's really in your gut like you know if you're texting your friends like do you what does he mean by this I'm like you know what you know you know what I always say that to him like if somebody is confusing you they're just simply quite simply not the one like somebody is consistent

constantly confusing you. Why the fuck would that be like your person, your go-to? Like, if a friend was confusing you, you would be like, okay. Yeah, like this is annoying and weird and I have time for it. Yeah. We're going to play a final game. You're crushing it. Honestly, you're so good at talking. I just never shut the fuck up. I've had a long weekend and I was like, oh, she is going to, she knows how to take this interview by herself. I'll just chat. Time to play the seven deadly sins. Oh, hell yeah. I think, like, other people's time, which I feel bad, same. And I don't...

That's so funny. I don't mean it, like, in the way that I, like, need other people's time. But when I love you, like, I love you. Like, there's no, like, meter for me. It's either, like, I'm fucking in love with you or, like, we just don't know each other. And so I feel like I just want to be with my people. And, like, I can so understand people are busy and, like, have lives. But, like, I am so pretty with, like, my friend's time.

Like, I want to be around. all the time so I just like want to be with them and like I love them or like my boyfriend or my family like I know people have lives outside of like me but I'm like when we're together we're the main event like let's be together so I think like other people's time but I'm getting better at like unpacking it noticing like okay like maybe they're busy and they just don't want to see you it's not like that big of a deal and like lives evolve especially in the city and the people start getting relationships they get dogs who knows like yeah there's so much shit going on who are you envious of And like in the perfect world I want to be like nobody but realistically I think I'm envious

of my friends and people who are just like content because I have never felt content in my life like I remember in college I was going through college and I'd be like if I win this writing award at Michigan I will think I'm a good writer and I'll be happy and I would win it and I'd be like it wasn't enough if I get this internship like I'll be content like finally wasn't enough and like I've I'm still like really like day one I'm trying to work through that like I literally had my biggest dream of my life come true and I'm like what's next like the minute that I finished my book I was seeking out other projects to start and like I'm grateful for that work ethic and like I'm really excited about the project I did decide to start but it's like I am I can almost

never like get to a place of just like calm and like going through my day and enjoying it without like so many other emotions I understand you I would say knock on wood, but like when something really fucking horrible happens to you, then like, like when you're world shatters, then you like, it changes your perspective. Like I know that I had like a really fucked up relationship and it kind of changed my perspective to when I woke up. I was like, I just want to not be fucked up. Yeah.

And like you get to that point where when enough you, you see like how fucked up the world is where you're at one point you're like, I'm just like grateful to like not be depressed today well that's like my like dark shit I was there in college like my freshman year of college was like the worst year of my life and like my sophomore year too they were just really bad and I remember once I got to the other once I was in it I was like I just want to be able to go to all my classes and I just want to be able to go a day without like being hysterical yes and I just want to be able to go a day without calling my mom crying and like getting there was great we're still not there but yeah so that one but my brain like almost like chose to forget all of that well that's a thing

So it's like, everyone's gone through that shit. So it's almost like, it's almost like you get cocky. And then you have to remember, go back to that place where all you wanted was to wake up, not have your heart pounding and like be okay. So yeah. So it's almost like I try to get back to that like bare minimum grateful place. Yeah. When I start getting like, but I never have this. I don't have this.

I don't have that. And you got. You woke up and you were like not depressed today. Yeah, you're good. Like high fucking five. Yeah. So a lot of it is like playing tricks with yourself. yeah you have to play tricks with yourself i'm pretty good at like being self-aware in that way

but sometimes i just like watch some of my friends who are just like chilling through life dude well that's a whole not mentally unwell at all and i'm like i mean like everybody is to some degree but they're like pretty mentally well i'm like what it what is it like i like i do get jealous when people like will be like i had so much fun at dinner last night and i'm like just from like a conversation they're like it was the best time ever and i'm like i need to like be in front of a crowd of like 10,000 people and like make them all laugh to like feel a tiny spark of joy. I'm like, see the best night of your life, just like having dinner with some friends. Yeah.

And like they mean it or like they're like I went for the greatest walk with my dog yesterday. And I'm like I was crying when I saw the sun and I'm like, no, yes. And I want to get to that point. Oh yeah. Because like you know you're just in your own head and you could appreciate the little things. So anyway, it's sad out there. What are you glentness about? Ooh, that's a good one.

Like, what do you overindulgent besides jars? Yeah, I was going to say, like, I have a huge sweet tooth, but that's obvious. I would say definitely TikTok. Like, I'm trying to get to a place where I don't do it for hours at a time in a day. And a lot of times I would tell myself it was research and development. It is actually not because I mean. Or you say like this is instead of watching TV. Yeah.

But then I still watch it. And then also you and I were creating unique content. So I don't necessarily need to be doing like R&D. Like if I spent 20 minutes on the app, I'll see all the like hot button things I need to know. But sometimes it'll turn into like an hour when I have an hour off and then three hours at night. And like it is such a vortex. And I actively haven't tried like I'm be so honest. I have not tried to stop.

But I've in the last like honestly a few days, I've been like, what if I just like did not open it when I woke up in the morning? It's the first thing I do. Yeah. Because it can be just so toxic. It's it also depends on like what you're working on. I know that when I've nothing else. Like, then it's just like pure TikTok. So you almost have to like keep yourself busy with other things.

Have like different things to do. But also there's no creators out here successful who are not like scrolling nonstop. Yeah. Sometimes I'll say, see creators say that they don't watch. Absolutely not. And I'm like, you're playing. I also think there's some connection between like the time you're on the app and like how well your videos do. But I kind of made that up.

I mean, honestly, if that was true. I would be Charlie Puck and Amelia. I ask me Alex Earl if that was true. I watched so much. of it like you could name any niche thing like scar girl and i will tell you the whole thing i know about and i'm like this is crazy like i watch also like random people like get engaged like i know way too much about people i also feel like i feel like me and you are on the same algorithm and i feel like they should do more like friend get-togethers or something based on all the data

they're doing of like the algorithm yeah like i feel like i'll post a video about like laughing loudly or something and everyone's like oh i found my and it's like i really found my people yeah like i'll have like 800,000 like women that I'm like I think we should start a cult. Yeah like like we're here. Like we're here. It's like there should be algorithm types and you should be and everyone should be like personality type and they should tell you when you're in and yeah and then you're like okay this is my algorithm type like now we can all just like literally because they have crazy fucking data and I wonder like what people you're like closest with in the world and you might as well just become best friends with that. Yeah like why not I hate when I try to explain something to

somebody and I'm like do you see this thing on TikTok it's like really fucking crazy and they're like I have no clue what page and I recently realized that like we're a little off on our tick algorithm which is fun for giggly squad because we talk about different things but I'm like you haven't seen scar girl how is she not seen scar girl because that's every video is a explanation of her on mine I know I was watching her like earlier like I'm like I'm currently getting updates right now yeah when was the last time you were a sloth so like lazy didn't do anything all day Saturday I hate I really hate it like I have trouble like just not doing things and I associate like whenever I even have fun I'm like associating guilt with it which is so sad I'll be like fuck I really need to go punish myself because I like I smiled um but on Saturday I woke up with the worst UTI ever like to the point where I was like oh my God like I'm going to die and so I like called in a prescription to the pharmacy with like some fucking ass. that I found on my phone. I was like, hey, then I woke up my boyfriend at like nine after being

in agony for hours. And I was like, you got to go. I can't even stand. Like, go to the pharmacy. Go. And he was like, can I just like get a prescription for you? And I was like, well, just tell them I can't walk. Like go. And it was so bad. And I like, I don't want to say I was stuck at his apartment. I love his apartment. But I couldn't get back to mine because I was like ill. And I had nothing. I like came after a night out from the night before. So I didn't have like my things, like my books and my blankets and like my laptop. All I had was. was like his TV and like the clothes and his fucking Netflix and yeah and his clothes and like his Netflix and he was doing such a good job taking Jeremy but I was like sitting sitting all day

UTI is like your body telling you something they are so bad and I have talked to you so many women in the last 72 hours about this that are like oh I've never had one and I'm like are you fucking kidding no page has them all the time I had it I have had one once and it was the worst experience so bad my because it's like not painful but it's like there's a uncomfortable is almost worse than painful. I'll almost take pain. No, I would rather pain I can take an Advil. This, like, nothing was working.

No. And then my friend gave me these pills yesterday, and she's like, take two every time you have sex. And I was like, this is what my reality is going to be? She was like, yeah, then you won't get them. And I'm like, no, but why do we? You're like, what did women do back in the day? Get men some supplements.

Like, why do I need to be taking, like, popping pills? Can you imagine if you were single and you have one and say, and you're like, hey, sorry. You just crush it. him up for just trying to make it fun the guy's like what i actually want to read again because i like haven't read in like 40 years do you have any advice for like when to read during the day sometimes i feel like reading is like i don't say a waste of time but like you know the day's like blah blah blah blah and then you're like do i read and you almost feel like you're just like no i feel that i think a really

good way to start is just like telling yourself that you're going to read one chapter at night and a lot of times i make my boyfriend do this too we'll do it before we watch TV. So, like, we're watching how to get away with murder right now, which I'm so late to that, but whatever. But before we get to watch, like, the episode, I'll make us read a chapter because if you go into the TV thing and then you're like, and then before bad, I'll read my chapter, you're not going to do it. But if you make it, like, a carved out time, like, this is my one chapter. And sometimes I'll just read a chapter and it'll be done. But other times you'll be like, oh, I like this. I'm going to skip TV tonight. Like, I want more. So I do like small

increments, like even 10 minutes. Like, if you can. It's smart. I think it's just good for your brain in general to do yeah also it's like the best way to learn things I feel like and you're a writer like you write jokes you're right sketches like you're always writing content like it really helps you're writing to read people's writing I know I do I've always loved writing yeah so I know that like I feel like I'm manifesting a book eventually but I need to find the right the right to be so funny about it oh my good thing um when was the last time you let your pride or your ego get in the way of something because you're interesting you've within line between you're like I'm literally so good at writing but you're also like not egotistical about it yeah i honestly i think i'm i'm really

hard on myself which is something i've worked through in like a lot of therapy so i don't really let it get in the way of like my career wise stuff like i don't ever be like i'm the shit like i'm usually like i suck like so bad but i think my pride and ego will get in the way of like arguments with loved ones i feel like my boyfriend and i really don't argue but if it's like any tough conversation or I'm wrong when I was like dead ass I'm right like I will feel like so ego bruise and I feel like that happens with my parents too a lot like I love them and we are so like we communicate in a really healthy way but I think like when I get into arguments with people I kind of think my snap thing is like I get prideful or I can get egotistical like when I'm in like a hot

moment with someone yeah never really about like career stuff but definitely in like personal relationships and like arguments she's a debater um no my dad Dad's a lawyer and he's always like, what if you were a lawyer? He'd be a great lawyer. I'm like, why? Because I like to yell at people. I would be a fucking terrible lawyer. You put me under pressure.

I'm sobbing. Like, what do you mean? Like, he's like, you just like, you just like, talk. When I get frustrated, I just start being like, well, this is fucking stupid. No, I could never make sense. You just walk out of the room. They're like, okay. Um, when was the last time you lusted over someone?

So besides your boy toy, do you have a celebrity crush? It's a good one. Okay. I like. this is too i think recently like in like a loving women lusting sort of way myly sarah's like the whole new era like i know i know it's all like actually bullshit and she hasn't confirmed any of it to be true but do you think it's all made up kind of because it came like quickly i was like how did they get the information so quick this the thing not one of them has a source

interesting and i'm very journalistic of you where's your fucking source for this like who told you this they're just like that's the house and like maybe they did the research but like show me But first the house was supposed to be like a rented house that he rented and then it was her house. I don't like show me the Zillow. Show me the receipts. They can't. But regardless, like I just thought she looks so hot and she's perfect. I love her. So definitely her. I would say like I'm not a big celebrity crush girl, but I do love the guy in pitch perfect. That is so unbrane for you. And I went to the Tony's last year like for content with CBS. And he was there. And I was like, he's like literally my hall pass in every relationship I've ever had. I was like, I'm going to talk to him. He like. He like. He like. like did not want to talk about it. He was like definitely just like he was so polite but I was like I am such a big fan like I was so like I was drunk I was like it was this long night it was like midnight and he was like well I'm proud of you for trying because I don't get the balls I'm like kind of New York in those situations where it could be like my literal favorite person I will never I'll pretend like I don't know who they are and then never talk to them ever my best friend was in an elevator with Beyonce just the two of them and she didn't say anything that's what I would have done yeah she didn't say anything that's what I would have done. Yeah she didn't say anything. That's what I would have done. And this day, we're like, what is wrong with it? But then also, the second you do say something, you always regret it.

And then if it comes out your mouth and then the elevator, I can't imagine how awkward they would be like, the elevator doors are opening. You're like, Beyonce. What do you say to Beyonce? Like, no, like, hey, are you Beyonce? Like, there's no way to. I'd be like, yo, are you triggered by elevators? Oh, just kidding. Sorry.

No, I always find myself, like, talking to people that I like, I'm like, okay, I need to talk to this famous person. I met Tina Fey. I, and that was it. And she was like, or like you'll think of the most like fucked up in inappropriate story that like you think is going to hit and it like never hits. She was like looking at you like never even look in my direction in your life. I was joking. Yeah, Meryl Streep's daughter went to my school.

No way. When I went to polyp prep for like two years back in the day. And we were like good friends. Friends. We were best. We were best fucking friends. Me Hallie Bieber and Marl Streep's daughter, Louisa. And Real Streep was, like, at one of the events.

My grandma, like, loved her. I'm like, my nana's hilarious. But she was like, I had breast cancer, and then I broke my hip. And I'm like, why are we telling Real Streep's life story? I'd be like, so many people tell celebrities, like, they're full life stories. And, like, when this person died and my life, like, you brought me solace. And I'm like, I'm sure they get it a lot, but they're probably thinking to themselves. I was like, why are you telling me this?

And it also, like, you know, like, you probably get recognized and stuff. You have to receive all this energy that you're not always prepared to receive. Yeah. And then if you are able to match it, it's even weirder. Don't match it. It's awkward. It's pouring their heart out to you and you're, like, in line at the whole food. And you're like, whoa, like, I literally don't know what's going on.

And then they feel bad after. Honestly, fame is a fucked up thing. Yeah, like, don't be. Oh my God. If Beyonce is in the Lever, I'd just be like, you're all some bad. And then I'd be like, there's nothing, you can't say. You can't be like, hi, Beyonce. That's weird.

You can't say, are you, Beyonce? That is horrible. You can't say, like, love your work because, like, that doesn't do justice. Like, yeah, I love you. That's also fucking weird. There's actually no solution. Maybe what she did was correct. But, like, also the missed opportunity of a lifetime.

But I guess it's kind of cool to just be like I was in an elevator with her. Like, your dream thing is for you to say something in Beyonce to be like, you're cool as shit. Like, do you want to hang out? Yeah, and like, that never would have happened. I think what's going was just like, can I take a selfie with you? I might have just done that. Like, I might have just been like, I know who you are.

I clearly love you. I'm not trying to bother you. Can I take a selfie with you? Like, let's cut the BS. I don't mind like a quick selfie moment. I know some celebs though are like, like I know Louie K doesn't take selfies with people. Certain people don't take selfies because it like takes from their soul. I don't fucking know.

And I look like fucked up shit in half of the selfies. But I love it. It's like a moment. It's fine. It's like today's signature kind of thing. It's fun. And like I'm pretty flex with that as well. Unless I'm like the only time I would say like, please don't talk to me is if I'm like, look like I'm having a serious conversation.

Like, have you ever been interrupted by someone when you're like really like or. Well, yeah. Back when I was dating, like I'd be on a date. Oh yeah. If you're like eating, it's like kind of weird. Oh yeah. You're sitting at a table. Like shrugging.

I just have all these moments because I'm like, I'm weird. Like I'll be like picking my nose. I'll be like. standing outside of a Taco Bell, just like, should I eat Taco Bell? And people catch me in these weird moments. Like, I'm not, I'm not just like that cool girl walking. I'm always, they're always catching me in the wild, like six bags. Catching me in a while.

I'm like, I look like so fucking weird right now. There's always something weird happening. And people also, this is what they say to me all the time, which I don't know if this is a compliment or not. And it like really kills me. I always get, you're so pretty in person. And I'm like, guys, guys. This is so not it. Like, I think they think they're like, oh, my God, you're really pretty in person.

But, like, they're always shocked. Actually, that's, that's one of those that you're like, I get them all the time. Or I'll get a DM being like, it was so nice to meet you like when you were like schlepping nine bags down like, Fifth Avenue today looking like literally horrible. Or like I've gotten to like you're so pretty in person where like I think it's because they assume that everyone looks like better online. So when they meet you and you look the same? I think that's what they're going for. Or just like you look really pretty like in person, like whatever it is. But it no matter what, it comes off like you are a troll.

Also, I'll have some interactions with people who listen to my pod or whatever. And I'll be like, wow, that was like cool. And I try to remember it to be like, this is how you should act when you see someone who's famous. And I always fuck it up. Like I don't remember. I don't know what to do. No, I had a cool interaction in like the Ralph's coffee. This girl was like so nice.

You're like, should we be friends? I was like, wait, fuck. She's actually so dope. Like, my friend I was with was like, that's the first time that the person was like really chill. Like, it was so cool. My ideal thing is like to be in the podcast in like an elevator and someone's like, hey, I love your podcast.

Like your Beyonce. Yeah, I'm basically the Beyonce who makes far jokes. I loved lemonade. That album was so good. But then sometimes if it's too specific, you're also like, okay, you don't need to like I don't fucking know. There's no right way to go about it. I think it's a vibe.

I think it's energy. I think it's like with friends and men. you either fuck with the person or you don't yeah and you don't know what someone's energy is like some famous people have fucked up energy yeah and some it's so like normal where you're like oh my god you're just the human i've met like such a range and like there have been famous people that i thought would be so nice and they were so mean and then there are famous people that were i thought would be like so men literally you're like you could punch me in the face and they're so nice and you're like i would have still liked you if you treated me like shit yeah and then the ones that you think are

going to be so nice are always the ones who aren't. Dude, I swear to God the people who were like really, really, really, really perfect and nice in the media are monsters. The ones who like never speak their real mind or have like a little controversy. Yeah. Monsters. Yeah. Final question. Okay. As we got a little sidetrack, but it was very important. It was important. It was focused. It was controlled chaos. Yeah. What advice would you give to people on how to cope with their hell? When you're in your dark time, when you're going through it. what do you do to get out of it? That's a good one.

I think I always like to remind myself on this like really changed my life when I was like experiencing my first real heartbreak that like love and heartbreak and like hurt and happiness, they're inverses of one another. So we can only feel one of them because we feel the other one. So it's like not even possible to be depressed without understanding the feeling that is joy. It's not even possible to be joyful without understanding the feeling that is depressed. And I stopped like resenting my hell then.

Like I stopped like hating it. And I was more like, what if. I gave it space to like be hell because I know that the joy and like the heaven side of the other side of it will be much louder and brighter and will end up taking over from this. So I always like mentally do that and then like physically I feel like you just have to have your coping mechanisms and like I have so many but like therapy is one of mine. I loved like whenever I'm having like a panicked moment. If I can get outside like I just know that those things like are going to bring me like maybe a bit more joyous in that moment. But I do really try to remember that like every emotion you're experiencing

has the other side to it. And we wouldn't be even able to understand the emotions if we didn't feel bold. That's so cool. The duality. I love it so much. She's in her duality era. My duality era for sure. In your creative writing, do you feel like you're more creative in a certain mood or like vibe? Yeah, I think if I'm like so happy and elated and excited about something I wouldn't write something very good because I would just like not be focused. Whenever I'm like really sad or trying to work through something, I'll write it down in my notes. So actually the biggest blessing of the book that like came from the book was that I wrote down every like emotion I was feeling throughout like the last like whenever I notes started. And I was able to parse through like

all these notes and like put them into one document. And it's like some of them are just like fragments of the way I felt. Some of them are like 10 line poems. some of them are like a little journal entry some of them are like writing down something that happened that I didn't want to forget and that usually happens from pain but I was like in pretty good mental spot when I was writing and I feel like having all of that I was like oh my god I'm so grateful to my past self she didn't even know that she was going to need this stuff I didn't know I needed this but yeah I think like when I'm when I'm not doing my best is probably when I'm more creative I feel like a lot of people are like that yeah I also think because comedy you think of like okay what am i annoyed at what's frustrating me what am i mad at and

like the best comedy comes from that i also think someone told me once that this is what i do to try to control the future which is exaid and an anxious thing to do but i whenever something bad happens i always go okay something good has to happen after this like it's like a basketball but when something good happens i go oh no something bad's going to happen after this i said in my therapist i'm like something has to go wrong now she's like why are you thinking like that like that is not the way Well, I used to think very black and white and my therapist helped me be like, you're so black and white with shit. It's really not. And once I started to look at things like art rather than like sports where it's like, you win, you lose, you win, you lose. And it's more like the Bob Ross painting. Like, oh, the tree's a little slanted. It's more beautiful this way. So when you look at things like art, it becomes more like, oh, we're having our like blue Picasso moment. And it's not so black and white of like, you suck or you're amazing. And now there's like a gray space. We love. Eli, you were so insightful. I'm so excited. Like, honestly, this is kind of the beginning for you. And I feel like I'm to look back at this interview and be like, do you remember when I interviewed Eli when she was like doing her first book? And you're so young, but like you're, I feel like your head is like on pretty right. And I can't say that for a lot of people on this podcast. I'm just kidding. I'm just talking about myself. But where can people follow you, watch you like consume your contact? Give me the tea. Yeah. So my Instagram is just Eli dot Rallo. It used to be something else. I was telling Anna.

before we started but that's my insta my tic-tok is at the jar with two rs um pending change who knows but that's what it is right now and then i have a podcast called miss congeniality can listen to it everywhere you listen to podcasts and then the book is coming out um fall winter 23 24 and it's called i didn't know i needed this but if you want any information on it just like keep up today on my socials because you'll see it i'm obsessed i forgot to ask you one thing are you part italian yeah are you have italian half jewish same no way i didn't know that about pizza bagel people don't know what that is on tictock i said my dad's a pizza bagel once and people are like a what the fuck did you just call him so my video went viral when i was like i'm italian and jewish

some people call me a pizza bagel and other people call me a slut yeah but then people start cutting it and saying like i'm this and this and people call me it went out of control but anyway i love it i think it's so fun because i think that italians are so like crazy hospitable like i just think it's the best of both worlds in one person. Like, my dad is seriously, like, the joy of my life and, like, the light of every room. And, like, I think it's partially because of how he was raised like that. Yes. Yeah, we're starting pizza bagel cult.

Thanks so much for listening to this episode in hell. And I'm going to put it on YouTube. Check it on my YouTube. And we'll talk to you later. Bye.