Berner Phone - Emily Lubin: RIP Diets & The Problematic Wellness Industry

Episode Date: August 19, 2021

Emily tears apart diet culture and the entire wellness industry. She opens up about her own battles with eating disorders, intrusive thoughts about her body, and her relationship with food. She doesn't hold anything back and is a self proclaimed "hot mess" so she fits in perfectly with hell.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you put half a beer in water and then it becomes normal ABV? It's like, you know, with 2% milk, you're like, if I put water in it, does become scim? Yeah, yeah, then it becomes skim. If I mix red wine and white wine, then it becomes rosé. what is up guys i'm your host hannah burner and we're in heaven just kidding we are in hell with an incredible comic emily lubin who's the podcast host of the hot mess comedy hour and rip diets podcast we have not delved deep into diet culture we've done some a lot of like body um confidence stuff i did bulimia early on which i feel like people never talk about bulimia

they're scared of the B word and that had a great response from the little devil community and I feel like we're going to do a deep dive into your psyche about being a hot mess and then also just tear apart diet culture. Are you fucking ready? I'm so ready. That sounds amazing. It's so good to see your face. We need to talk also because the last time I saw you, because we've been locked away for like a year and a half, the last time I saw you, you were a single gal, big pimping up in NYC just living your best life and now you're an engaged woman and you're touring and you're engaged suburban mom you're an engaged suburban mom you're rescuing dogs and shit like I cannot handle it it's so funny because during the pandemic I legit was like wake up kiss my man's take the rescue dog for a walk

because I'm better than everyone because I have a rescue dog say hello to the other moms that are walking their dog talk about like the minimal things we have to do in the day go back home maybe try to cook something probably order out some Italian food yeah that was my pandemic that's a pretty good life but I always have felt close to you I feel like we understand each other like even though we haven't hung out that much I've always been like yeah she's my girl you're really good at like quality hilarious thirst traps which is like a random fact about you didn't I said to you you're good at like the tasteful thirst trap which is literally impossible to do but you do it that's the highest compliment thank you so much tasteful i that's funny because i don't go out of my way

to try to be tasteful i think that's just kind of my look maybe that's what makes it tasteful the authenticity do you have any advice for people on how you do your thirst traps because like there's always a sense of humor to it but you're also like turned on by it but you're also like oh that was kind of artsy and then you're also like, what did she just do to my psyche? Yeah, I have some tips. Well, first of all, don't be afraid of the self-timer. Don't be afraid to, you know, set up a tripod and maybe put it on a video and do some different things and then take screenshots. It's not going to be as high quality, but that's okay. Because Instagram, it only shows up for a minute and then everybody

forgets about it. So whatever. She's like, don't be afraid to hire like a full team, glam squad. No, but do you, what kind of like mental place do you have to be in to want to take a good selfie? Are you in a really confident place? Are you in a really insecure place? Where's it coming from? It always comes from a place of confidence. It always comes from a place of like, I think I look cute. I think it's cool.

So fuck everybody else. No, just kidding. Don't fuck me right. But you know what I mean. It's like it has to be from a place of confidence because if I'm not feeling good, like I really admire people. who are able to use social media really intentionally and be on it every day and like post the shit out of the I just am not one of those people I can't be on social media all the time I have to limit it to like a couple hours a day which doesn't I mean that still sounds like a lot but compared

to like scrolling on your phone all day like in between doing what you're doing it really fucks me up mentally so well sometimes I need to take a break somewhere we've forgotten that social media is bad for our mental health like I feel like it's something that like you hear in the background like don't do drugs but like everyone does it where it's like I forgot that social media was bad for me and then I'm wondering why I'm depressed and then thinking I can still be on social media all day and have a different result so part of me at first was like oh she's not on social media all day yes she might be missing opportunities of like getting a viral video of you doing something silly but then also like overall you get viral videos to be happy that's right like a small spike of happiness it's not sustainable or your mental health is actually good because you're not on social media this is just me talking my shit out actually no I respect that um it's a process you know I think the viral video will and also I've never had a viral video I'm not again I'm not good at it I'm not really not good at social media but um i feel like it would only make me happy for a day and then i would just

feel like i need to do something else or less right or more pressure to get a more viral video it's a real real tough journey but you have this podcast called the hot mess comedy hour and i want to know how would you define a hot mess so when we started the podcast it's me and another comedian andrea Allen. And when we started it, it was six years ago and we were, you know, young comedians. And we started it as a way to kind of promote ourselves as stand-ups. And then it ended up being, becoming our main thing and becoming like our bread and butter. But back six years ago, in 2015, Hot Mess was kind of like a like a funny, trendy way. to be like I'm such a mess like I'm out here living life I don't know how to live my life I have

all these mental problems but I'm fun and I'm cute you know and now it's kind of super played out but here we are so so I don't actually think it's not played out in a way that like people were saying it's so much that no one's saying anymore so it's like back cool again to be a hot mess oh you think it's come around it's come back around it's like Y2K fashion It is. It's the Y2K fashion of podcasts. Oh yeah. Sorry. It's so hard to not talk. It's so hard to not talk over each other. This is like, this is Zoom. We're having fun on Zoom. This is like you're trying to do Zoom therapy. And it's like people say I talk over. What? I talk over people. I don't listen to people. I do. Do you do? Is that effective for you? Do you feel like it's the same as seeing somebody in person? seeing someone person you have to make the commitment and it's almost like harder to like get up

and go and like get on the subway and then like go in an office and you almost like admit more like that you're in therapy it's almost more traumatizing yeah being in therapy is bad but you're just like thinking more about being in therapy than like maybe what you're actually learning where the zoom therapy is so easy to just go on and immediately just talk to a friend yeah there's pros and cons there have been times where the internet's been bad and i'd be like i i want my fucking four hundred dollars back but also i didn't even realize that she was based in florida until like last week like i didn't even think about it oh really yeah yeah so you can talk to somebody from any part of the country and yeah because i've i've never actually done remote therapy but all the

things that i hated about in-person therapy would be avoided doing remote because just sitting in that waiting room with the sound machines going off it triggers me like the thought of it triggers me it's super triggering and then sometimes like i take in a lot of people's emotions and when i'm sitting with the therapist i will like get distracted by things like well why is she writing that and like why does she have that weird painting up and like why does it smell funny in here and like does she think my outfit's weird and like is she looking at my leg going up and down like there's so many more distractions so it's almost like you're just having a conversation but i highly recommend Zoom therapy is better than no therapy. Going back to you being like, I have mental problems,

I'm a comic, I have this great podcast. What specifically do you think is the messiest about you? For me, it's definitely, it's always been problems with self-confidence, insecurity, body image. my entire life that's been like my biggest struggle and I do talk about that a fair amount on a hot mess but it's a it's a comedic show right so yeah I was always like I don't want to bring everybody down by like talking about my eating disorder I still do it but there was always this like me needing to keep it light and me not wanting to really go there a lot, which is why I ended up starting my other podcast, RIP diets, so I could talk to people about body image and not really worry about having to make jokes

and having to be funny and engage people that way. So as someone myself who suffered from an eating disorder before, I dealt with a little like anorexia female triad athlete syndrome in my teens. It's a very obsessive thing where it takes over your life. Were you ever afraid that doing a podcast where you're doing a podcast where you're talking about it all the time could be like not healthy for your brain and I'm not trying to like give you anxiety but I want to honestly understand your relationship to it yeah no sometimes it is hard and that's something that I struggle with because when I I record it every week so now I find

myself thinking about things and in some ways it's good because I'm thinking about things from a very objective lens like I and everything I see on TV and everything I see in movies. And even when I'm talking to people, I'm like, oh, this would be interesting to talk about on the podcast. Like, this is really fucked up. Diet culture is everywhere. But, but then if I don't feel good and I'm, and I'm struggling, then I don't want to go on there and be a hypocrite and tell people to have confidence in their body. If I don't feel good about my body. So that was. a tricky thing to like learn to be able to talk about in a way that would be helpful to people

instead of me just going on Mike and crying. Yeah. Well, I also, I think of burning in hell where it's all about mental health and there are times in the pod where I feel great and then there's times in the pod where I'm actually depressed and sometimes talking to someone, I'll straight up like need to hear something and ask them how they deal with it. So I'll selfishly use my pod. But yeah, you use it as therapy. yes I look I did an intensive like look at RIP diets and the stuff you talk about is so fascinating and I think you're super intelligent and I want like my listeners to understand a little more about the concept of diet culture because everything is so fucking trendy and like my mom was a nutritionist for a bit and she jokes about like one day fat's good then fat's bad sugar's addicting then it's not

so it's like right now what is the current trend with diet culture with body image what is like you wrote like diet culture vultures like what's the weight loss industry trending on or being a vulture with now i'm so happy you asked and i want you to go off i feel like people need to know this people need to know this and this is going to make some people angry yeah this is going to make some people very confused and defensive but i'm going to say it anyway because i'm a truth teller hell yeah when you see a company that um talks about wellness and uh clean eating um and like specific plans to improve fitness or wellness like wellness is the biggest industry right now that is coded language for dieting and we don't want to say the word diet anymore because

it's not in fashion. People don't want to feel like they're on a diet. People don't want to tell other people to be on a diet because we recognize that it's bad, right? So the weight loss industry has very cleverly disguised this whole thing as wellness. So I actually think in some ways it's worse now because we're making people think that dieting equals health when it really does not, especially not for your mental health. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. So it's pretty much the same formula, but just with different words that they've been like praying on.

I'll give you an example. And I'm not going to say the brand's name, but maybe you'll be able to guess it. It's a small, it's vegan, but they don't call themselves vegan. They call themselves plant-based, blah. And it's this company that makes like pre-packaged meals and delivers them to you. And then there's also like little smoothie powders and stuff. It's one of those. They wanted to sponsor Hot Mess a couple years ago.

And I had a phone call with this girl, probably an intern, you know, and she's telling me about the products. And there's this smoothie powder that's supposed to replace caffeine, like apparently caffeine. is bad now um news to me i drink so much caffeine but she's telling me she's like yeah i just i drink the smoothie powder in the morning i just froth it into a drink and then i don't have to eat again until 4 p.m and i'm thinking to myself like in what universe is that healthy how is that healthy and people are expected to pay hundreds of dollars for that this is a luxury company and that is just insane. I think that's really insane that people are still buying things to like quote curb your appetite and think that that's healthy when really like the healthy thing is to actually feed yourself

and to respond. The branding is really dangerous like especially when it's chic and cool and you see aspirational cool girls doing it and you're just like you get so over consumed with like what you could be and but it's like those bitches aren't happy. No, and they're weak also. They're hungry. They're hungry. They're hungry. And like, I don't know if you ever used tracker apps like my fitness pal or any of those. I definitely did because in college, I used to be classified as overweight until I was about 20. I was a senior in college. And then I went on a really restrictive diet and I lost about 50 pounds to start. And I was tracking everything I ate. And on those apps, they tell you, you know, if you want to lose this many pounds a week, then you only eat

1,200 calories a day. 1,200 calories a day is not really enough for anybody. And I think it's really dangerous. That's like a bowl of pasta bowl and A's. Exactly. And that's my dinner. I eat 1,200 calories for dinner, essentially. Yeah, that's like a solid dinner. But, you know, we've been brainwashed to think that we need so much less than we actually need. And then we wonder why we're tired and stressed and cranky all the time. And we don't stop to think like, well, maybe I'm not feeding myself.

Maybe I'm acting according to these rules that have been set for me. But that actually has nothing to do with my internal body. cues or my hunger or my fullness. So just getting back in touch with that. And I talk about this on the podcast too. I follow intuitive eating, which it's a program that basically gets you back in touch with your natural hunger cues and your satiety cues and teaches you how to eat without any external food rules at all. It's basically the way that like we're all meant to eat, but few of us actually do. Okay. I have to slow you. down for a second because you just dropped some quality bombs what is this what is the society queue

and what are external roles on food this is good this is good shit so i probably mispronounce that external rules oh rules okay but same thing external rules as well okay so satiety cues are um it's it's fullness so fullness cues like um i'm satiated that's where that comes from yeah your hunger cues are when you're hungry, your satiety cues are when you're getting full. And that's an innate thing that we have, but we can try to battle that based on like external rules maybe? Yes, exactly. Like, we're all born with it. If you feed a baby, and I don't know if you've ever fed a baby before, I have nephews, but I have nephews, so I feed babies quite often. They, when they're done, they're done and it doesn't matter they could be enjoying the food when they're hungry they will let

you know and when they're done like they physically cannot eat anymore like you will be trying to shove more cream spinach into the baby's mouth and they will refuse to eat okay that's something that you naturally have but then as you get older all these rules are taught to you like oh you shouldn't go back for seconds oh you shouldn't eat uh dessert before your broccoli oh you shouldn't eat this because it has too many carbs this has too much fat it's all taught to us and then we lose those natural cues and then you put different meanings onto food and once you put a different meaning onto it like oh that's something i can't have the next thing you know you're binging it or like that kind of thing it's funny because this is a weird metaphor but i saw something

where it was like if you realized your cat let's say is unhealthy or like needed to lose some weight for health reasons what would you do you would not start starving the cat you might start being like okay let's play a little longer during the day cut down a little bit because we still want to make sure that she's getting her nutrients and it'll be like a a natural thing where let's change some stuff but like keeping her intuitive eating if that makes right you don't just cut out an entire meal for the cat you don't just say to the cat yo cat we're intermittent fasting now What is your opinion on intermittent fasting? I fucking hate it.

I, well, okay, I don't hate it. I just think it's stupid and there's a difference. I think it's stupid because it's just basically a rebrand of skipping breakfast, which is something that I was doing in high school, you know what I mean? And we're calling it intermittent fasting and saying it has all these benefits that are not scientifically proven at all because there's no long-term studies on it. And then people are like, you could eat anything you want. during the day. I'm like, I'm pretty sure if you say anything, it could go really bad.

Yeah. So it could go really bad in either direction, right? Because like, if you're only eating in a six hour window, there's just so, there's only so much that you could physically eat. So for me, I would definitely eat as much as I could physically eat in that six hour window if I was doing that. And that's not going to make me feel good. I just think, I think if there was like a magic. remedy for it all, I think we would have found it already. I don't think any of these new woo-woo things that people are coming up with are valid at all, just purely because I think we would have the answer. People wouldn't be struggling with it so much if there was an answer. I agree. And as someone who has, I would strongly say, recovered from an eating disorder,

my eating disorder was never like initially connected to like my body how I looked it was more like a perfectionist like wanting to go pro and tennis so like being yeah feeling out of control so it was it was a lot in control once I started just like trusting my body that my body will know what it needs and again it's intuitive but like you get scared like oh no if I'm not focusing on the amount of food I'm consuming, oh, just go off. And it's like, no, no, no. You're, like, I'll have days where I pig out, but I know the next day, I know I'm not going to be that hungry.

And if I listen to my body, I will consume exactly what I need. Are there things like, if I'm eating, drinking a ton of Gatorade, I'm like craving a ton of Gatorade all the time and, like, not drinking enough water? Yes, there's little things I can change that I know my habits are. But a lot of it is, like, knowing and losing the fear. of if I get off kilter I'm just going to like become obese or like I'm right lose control of where it's like trust that your body is going to take care of you right and I think that people are really scared to do that and then when they try to do it especially if you've been dieting for your

entire life like the way that I was it took like maybe a year or two years for me to not be binging on certain foods and and and also i would start trying to eat intuitively and then i would stop doing it because i'd be like oh this is insane i'm eating family size bags of chips this is not right i this is not the right thing for me to do but that's only because i was restricting for so long that my body just thought i was in a famine constantly you know what i mean like you need to rebuild that trust you and to really do that you need to show yourself that even if you do overeat you're not going to restrict the next day because that it's a cycle and if you restrict the next day it's only going to lead to you overeating later and and naturally like if you were that

full at night normally in the morning I'm not like oh I feel like 10 pancakes you're like okay I feel like I just like it's what your body your body's going to tell you when it wants a stop and when it wants more and I just think it's so important for people to understand that like you should be more scared of fucking up your metabolism like you should be more scared of losing trust in your body than being scared of gaining five pounds like I don't know if I just lie to myself but I'm always like want to keep my metabolism up I'm having this pasta or like I have you know I need carbs before the stand-up set because I don't want to get dizzy on stage I need energy yes I just say I need energy because it's like this vessel but also I want to know you said intrusive thoughts about your body

because because especially as a woman diet and body are sometimes very connected what do you mean by intrusive thoughts about your body um well when I said that I was referring to I've always had a really low self-esteem. I think it's much, I've gotten to a place where it's much, much better now than it used to be. But I was taught that like having the body that I had was wrong and that I needed to change it. And there were also other things going on that I just thought I was wrong. That's the thing. It was never fully about my body. That was just one component of it. Yes. So now one thing that I need to work on is I will call myself lazy because a lot of the time I feel unmotivated. I have trouble finishing my work. You know, you and I like, we're our own boss, which is great. It's,

it's such a great thing. It's such a blessing. I'm so thankful for it. But it's also really hard, especially when you're not that disciplined. I was never like, uh, somebody who studied a lot in school or like tried particularly hard. I was just like I was a cruiser. so to speak. And I just kind of like did what I wanted to and mostly got away with it. So now, like having to run a business and having to put things out on time and have deadlines and manage, you know, interns. Like it's a lot for me. And so I will get really down on myself about my lack of motivation. I'll call myself lazy. And I will immediately start taking it out on my body. And this voice, it's not even, it's not even really me. Like I call it the eating disorder

voice. It's in my head and it's saying, okay, like all of these things are happening that you can't control. So stop eating, essentially. And, you know, if you lost 10 pounds, you would be so much better and just all this stuff that I think is just at the end of the day, just like a distraction from what I'm really feeling, which is unmotivated or stressed out. So those are like the intrusive thoughts. They're like the thoughts that I never asked for. They just happen. Like it's not it's not even really me. I know that sounds nuts, but like it's not me. That's how you recover from that by knowing that those voices are not authentically you and you can love yourself like you're allowed to you don't have to listen to the negativity but it's funny because you said i've been taught to not like myself

i've been taught to sometimes not like my body who do you think was teaching you um my mother because uh i was in um it was like a really it was like the worst situation imaginable in a way in terms of like my body image because I have a very model-esque mother. I mean, she looks like 20 years younger than she actually is and is, it was just always super lean, super fashionable, would never leave the house without makeup, very image focused, always. And I also had an older sister who was very petite. she's about five foot one or five foot two small cute would always be praised for how cute and tiny and petite she was and i thought that was space yes and i thought that's what was beautiful like to me

she was the standard of beauty and my mom too but but i looked up to my sister so much and and i could never be that because i was always tall i had bigger feet and i had bigger feet than her bigger hands, a bigger head. And there was never any discussion over my body. It was always like this unspoken thing that like that it was the elephant in the room. My mom would take me to nutritionists like as young as age seven. She's always trying to get me to diet, always like putting me on different programs. She sent me to fat camp when I was 10. And so it was. So it was. We was always a problem and also going to the doctor was always like the most stressful thing for me and I remember this one time we were going to the doctor and I I would never confide in my mom about my weight

because I knew that she really disapproved of my weight and I just didn't I didn't want to talk about it like I just it was a really sensitive subject I didn't want to talk about it but I was so stressed out about going to the doctor this one time because I had weighed myself and I saw that I had gained weight and I knew the doctor was going to say something about it. So we're in the car ride over and I say to my mom, I'm like, mom, I'm really scared. I'm really scared because I weighed myself yesterday and I gained 10 pounds this summer and I know that the doctor's going to say something about it. I'm so scared about it and what I had hoped would happen would be that she would say like okay do you not want to go let's turn the car around we don't have to go we can go another day just or just some words of of

that it's okay that it's okay that you know I'm not going to be mad at you but it was the complete opposite it was like how could you have gained that much weight you should have been losing that much weight. So like even now going to the doctor and being weighed at the doctor, I haven't weighed myself in maybe five years and going to the doctor, they always tell me to get on the scale. And even to this day, and I'm a very healthy weight, but even now, it's the most traumatizing thing ever. And all that stuff I really think was taught to me. I think that if I was, I think if my parents were more educated. I don't think it's that they're bad people. I don't think it's that they had anything against me. I know that they love me very much and I'm very close to my parents,

but they just didn't know. They didn't know about this stuff. Um, the 90s was like diet cultural diet culture central. Kate Moss. And yeah, Kate Moss, Fiona Apple. Um, Christina Aguilera. I mean, you could go on and on and on like that was what was beautiful and um and they just didn't know I think that if they knew about intuitive eating and really or even not just intuitive eating just knew to let my body develop naturally and see what happened I do think that I would have leveled out I would have reached a stable place but I was so wound so tight all the time and so unhappy and so stressed that I would turn to food for comfort so it actually had the opposite effect than was intended. And then I struggled with it for like another 10, 15 years. So that's what I

mean when I say it was taught to me. It's not like anybody ever sat me down and said like you should hate yourself. But it was heavily implied based on what they were trying to get me to do and also how much they would praise my sister who had a very different body type than I did. Well, it makes complete sense that when you're stressed out, you will not let yourself eat because food equated to like failing. Like eating was people would be disappointed in you. So when you're disappointed in yourself, it's like, why would I let myself eat? Because exactly. So it makes complete sense to me. But it's funny that we grew up with the thin girls but I'm

equally fucking angry about the current like situation of what is beautiful that is so fake and face tuned that it's like these bodies are not even attainable like I know like at least

before girls could starve and think that they were but I mean you still would never like yourself as a deeper thing but now you have to go under the knife or edit your photos to have the body ratio of ass to like you have to remove a fucking rib at this point and it's multiple multiple ribs and then insert it into your ass yeah yeah and then take the fat from your pinky toe and put it in your earlob like i don't know what the fuck is going on sorry it's it's

annoying yeah like there's this trend on instagram that i've been noticing where women don't have cupid's bows anymore you know like the cupid's bow in your lip like i have a very very yes pronounced cupid's bow yeah i'm noticing that either people are filling them in or they're they're pumping their lips with something that fills in the cupid's bow area it's crazy every few years there's something completely different and i think that's the problem with plastic surgery is that what if you get a complete makeover and then two years later your look is out the instagram girls look completely different maybe they're all um maybe they

have like extra pronounced cupids bows and you just fucked up your chances you just nailed something that i think i've been trying to hit on for a while because i i talk about plastic surgery on this pod and i talk shit about the overall concept of it but i do think you nailed it like everyone looks the same right now everyone's trying to look like kiley jenner everyone is getting their eyes to look like um to pull up their eyes by their it's there's a it's called like a brow lift or brow thread whatever to look like fox eyes and then the big lips the tiny nose and if you look at beauty over the years it's it's literally trendy yeah now everyone looks the fucking same which is literally the last thing you do to like lose anxiety anxiety is when you don't feel like your authentic self so stop

pushing away from it and then you're so right in fucking three years it's not going to be popular to have your eyes stretch back to your ponytail no people are going to want you know bug eyes they're going to want to they're going to want like a perfectly circular round eyes over the years how much eyebrows have changed and we joke that we tweez too much and now we're fucked well you guys are fucking cutting your faces up and your body's up and you expect and also the money you put into it like it makes and you know what to people listening who have gotten plastic surgery I'm not mad at you I'm mad that for whatever reason the world has made you feel like you have to right um and i get it listen i've like i've

definitely flirted with the idea of certain procedures mainly i wanted implants for a really long time i don't want them anymore because i can't afford them but but like certain things definitely also my nose i i've noticed that like everybody has this perfect little barbie doll nose and um And that I won't fix because I feel like that would be anti-Semitic. But yeah, it's just, it's really unrealistic. And I think the problem with it is that nobody talks about it. I mean, some people talk about it, but the vast majority don't. So I can't imagine what it would be like to be a teenager now and to be, to not be aware of how

rampant it is. And I mean, TikTok has a beauty filter. Like, why do you need a beauty filter? they added a beauty filter because they were afraid that people would not post enough if they just saw their real selves on the camera they had to put a beauty filter to make people feel confident enough so you had to make people change how they look to feel confident enough that is fucked up it is fucked up I mean I mean but it's only going to get worse that's the thing it's only going to get worse and we don't know the long term effects of it that's another thing like all of these new procedures

how do we not know that lip fillers cause autism? Like, how do we not know? Or cancer, I was thinking about, like, writing some kind of funny, like, bit or TV show about, like, what if long term, like, Botox turns everyone into zombies or, like, Botox, like, change, like, we don't know the long term effects of Botox. No. Like, when you're, it's going into your fucking, yeah, it's like putting toxins into your bloodstream. and the thing about Botox is that's another thing that I've definitely flirted with because you know my peers it's preventative it's preventative um yeah I mean my peers who are I'm 30 and my peers who are in their 30s are already you know getting scary amounts of Botox

and you feel like you need to keep up and then you start noticing fine lines that definitely nobody else even notices but I notice them um but I can't justify getting something that then I need to get for the rest of my life in order to keep it up. Because that fades away after a few months and then you just need to get it redone. And the more you get it done, the more you think you need, it's honestly the same cycle as like the binge restrict cycle. It's like the more that you do it, the more you think you need it. You're dependent on it. Exactly. So I can't get it's like your nails. it's like um during quarantine when we all like stopped wearing makeup every day stopped doing our nails

and you started to get like comfortable and like actually liking the like naked roll mat like i call it the naked mole rat that you just see in the mirror like at first you're oh god me without a full face and then you're like wait i like how this looks because you see it all the time but then when you're stuck with seeing yourself with these beauty filters and just seeing yourself with Botox the next thing you know you look like a raisin without it when it's like can we just stop fighting aging like it's scary i mean i even i said this out loud the other day because i'm turning 30 next month and i was like wow i only have like seven more years in the entertainment industry of being like a young girl and that's fucking scary yeah that's scary to me

like i put pressure on myself like i have seven years to like possibly get a role in a movie where i'm playing like the young girl yeah um i hate to say say this Hannah but that's generous seven years I would have said four I have good Italian like olive oil skin I'm like I'm counting on it but but I'm hoping we could the industry can change where like people want more narratives from women in their 40s and like it's it's um it's fucked yeah it's I mean the theme of today's show is it's fucked this theme of the hot it's a train wreck we're in a train wreck we're in a train wreck. But I do believe that like, just like eating and just like Botox, it's like be nice to

yourself, be kind to yourself, be empathetic with yourself and make decisions coming from love instead of hate, which is obviously easier to say than do. Yeah, the thing is all of this stuff is easier to say than to put into practice. Like it's, it's, you need to be really committed. What really what people need to do is they need to stop and ask themselves like why they're beating themselves up and why they're doing certain things and if it's not if it's to impress other people or if it's not unless listen like for an entertainer I get it more I get it more for a Hollywood actress or a runway model or um even like a pop star I suppose I suppose even though Lizzo is like one of the top selling pop stars in the world.

But for a normal person, you don't need to look like a Kardashian. Like, I don't, I don't, I think like we need to stop and ask ourselves. Kardashians don't need to look like Kardashians. They don't even look like Kardashians. And what's going to happen to them? That's another thing. What's going to happen to them when they, when they're all in their 50s? What's going to happen when their kids grow up and they don't look related to them?

And the kid, and the kid doesn't understand. understand like what's going on and why they look a type of way right and and the you said this before but like I don't judge Kylie Jenner for like getting shit in her face and body like that their situation is not my situation yeah like and I talked about this on my podcast too because do you remember when Chloe's unedited photo was leaked okay so everybody's freaking out because they're like, why does she want to take this photo down? And I had the same reaction. I was like, she looks great.

Like, I don't understand why she even wants. I didn't think twice about it when I saw the photo. And if she had never taken that initiative to try to get it down, no one would have something. I don't think any, I think it would have been up for a day. Maybe there would have been haters. Maybe there wouldn't have been because she looked fucking phenomenal. I feel like she gets more haters when she posts like blurred out photos of her nose.

The super Photoshop. pictures. Yes, of course. I kind of said on the podcast, like, you need to understand that to live in, nobody lives in her reality. Like, their situation, they live on another planet as far as I'm concerned. Their entire business is built around an image that is mostly fake. And she has, she in particular also has been ripped apart. for so many years about not looking as good as them and then it and then sisters who are tiny like literally tiny put them in your pocket oh she must have had a different father like really obnoxious horrible shit a lot of online bullying and then so much so that she then doubled down

into like this fitness influencer-esque lifestyle and now people are criticizing her for that and criticizing her for overly perfecting her photos. So I think to live in her reality means that any photo that is on the internet that you do not approve of is a potential for somebody to wage war on you.

So if you look at it from that... An attack on your business that you've constructed that is also your life because we're living in an age where a lot of people's lives are their business. But I also do want to call myself out a little for being a hypocrite in that when I'm yelling at people like, don't get Botox, don't get plastic surgery.

I'm also getting my teeth straightened right now, you know? But in my head, in society, that's what people do. But I'm scared that it's getting to the point where, oh, when girls turn 20, you get lip filler, that's what you do. And like, because I was joking with my fiance and he was like, you're getting your teeth straightened. How is that any different than Botox? And I know that teeth, like, there could be like bacteria stuff and it's a little more nuanced,

but it's more like, I don't want us to get to the. point where it's so fucking normalized that like everyone's doing it yeah that's an interesting point because like in europe you would say that you don't just put braces on every kid right i i think that's an interesting point because that's like for cosmetic reasons like obviously i had braces when i was young because i needed to but now i know so many people who have adult braces are invisible i don't i don't think it's the same i think it's i think it's I argued, I think it's different, but I understand that, like, oh, like, do you want to straighten your bottom teeth because they're a little crowded? Sure.

And then I can't, like, hate on people for necessarily getting Botox. However, it's just culturally, things get normalized. And, like, it's true. Like, I don't want it to get normalized that, like, oh, you need to be on these expensive wellness plans that are literally for the size of, like, just not enough portion for you to actually be satiated. of corn flakes. Exactly. But like organic. Right. Amaranth. Spelt. And I can't. There's no sugar on it. It's a different substance that will satiate you for the rest of the day. No, it's coconut sugar, which is completely different. Trust us. Don't look into it. Don't look into the science of it. It's completely different. But it's like it's associated to be a cool girl. You have to have the cool lips, the cool food, the cool nails. and it's like all external bullshit and it's like goes back to the beginning let's slow down our social media intake

so we don't get affected by the cultural norms as much so we can actually hear our authentic voice instead of the voices of everyone yelling at us of what we should be in comparing ourselves all the time is that a good is that a good I don't know I do like we've gone on a journey

do you like that we have gone on a journey But I, you know, I just want to say one thing about that. I do sometimes get wrapped up in like the comparison game on Instagram and like, oh, this person is living so much more fabulously than me and is so much cooler and has like the cool jeans and like whatever it is. But I have to say, I think I'm pretty fucking cool. Like I think you and I are pretty fucking cool and we don't have any Botox in our faces. and I mean like talk to me again when I'm 40 I guess but I don't I'm not saying we might not

try it later but I live in constant fear that things that I say on podcasts are going to come back to bite me in the ass I'm already there I'm already there I was like I'll never delete my Facebook group like next week deleted it it's it's called growth it's called learning and evolving but I also do want to say I think you're gorgeous and a lot of the time especially because I'm aware of it if someone got too much work on their face it's like I don't see them for them I see the work that got done I'm like oh lips or like oh that's a lot of filler I'm not like oh that's what emily looks like and look how she carries herself and look at her energy and look at her confidence and look at you know how she makes me feel and let's let's embrace those things yes ladies

and also post what makes you happy that's another thing about social media look at us full circle on the thirst trap. Yeah. Post what makes you happy. If you want to show you're happy to post. I really enjoy like expressing myself through fashion. I really enjoy, I mean, I enjoy posting about diet culture and about my podcasts and stuff like that.

I feel like a lot of time I feel like nobody's actually listening, but I do it anyway. Because it makes me happy. Yeah. So imagine a ton of people are listening, but you post stuff you think they're going to like. And then you go up. set because it only had 15,000 likes instead of 20,000 versus you just right now posting to whoever is meant to see it for you. Exactly. And I think that's just the way to go. Like, do what feels authentic to you. And don't do things because other people are doing them. Because like we said,

in four years, don't be a sheep, okay? Yeah. In four years. Yeah. Thank you. I am the black sheep. how would you describe your fashion sent like what how would you describe it oh um my fashion's honestly like all over the place i i i am mess express yes hot mess express i i love thrifting i love being able to find things for cheap because i don't make a lot of money um and i don't think you need to spend a lot of money to be stylish um i love color but i also love lack of color i also love lack of color I like every season I try to think about like, how do I want to dress this season? Like, who do I want to be? What do I want to?

And that's something that makes me really happy. And I've always had like kind of a kind of a wacky sense of style. But thankfully, that's kind of coming into trend. Well, like I feel like we both play with the like androgynous style at times where it's like kind of sporty or kind of like you don't have to be showing all your current. always but sometimes you can because you do have them if you want to pop them off um i think it's time to play our final game called the seven deadly sins seven deadly sins what are you greedy about candy oh what kind what kind i love i mean i love licorish. I know it's weird, but

I really love licorice. The Trader Joe's kind is really good. She's not a sheep. She's not just eating snicker bars just because the commercial told her to. I like other girls. I like peanut M&Ms, but I can't, my boyfriend's allergic to peanuts, so I don't keep him

around. A little selfish of him. Yeah, and also like Reese's cups and stuff, like I don't eat too much of that anymore. And also like, this was really tough for me because growing up, my family always treated allergies like a sign of weakness. And so, like, I'm not, I'm not kidding. Like, when my mom found out that my boyfriend has a peanut

allergy, she, she will never let it go. It's like, it is a sign of weakness. We are better than other people because we don't have allergies. And anyone who has allergies would not exist if EpiPens didn't exist. So, but it's like survival of the fittest. He would have died. in the Stone Age. So, fuck him. 100%. Like, she makes fun of him for it. It's like her own little.

I, I'm always like, mom, that might make him feel bad. Like, don't, you know, but she, she will not shut up about it. Anyway, we can move on. The allergy community is not with your mom right now. I stand with you guys. I honestly stand with you guys. Like, like, if I, if I stay with my boyfriend, I will probably have children who have a slew of allergies and so I have to be okay with it people have sensitivities and honestly

she's insensitive to them um who are you envious of hmm uh who am I envious of are we talking about a real person or like a celebrity like a description of a person or a specific person you can call them out can it be not a person because I'm kind of envious of cats I have literally have like a five-minute bit in my stand-up about how I'm jealous of cats, so please continue. Oh, do you? Okay. Because, and I love dogs. Like, I actually, I think I'm more of a dog person, but I think cats have the best. I think they have the best life because they don't give a fuck. Like, they come to you when they want to come to you and you're happy every time because you have no control over it. So whatever they give you, you're thankful for it. But people, and they're just,

they're not dependent on you really for shit, except like feeding them. for anything and they just don't give a fuck and can act so bitchy at times but people still think they're cute and to me that's the life that I want to live so I love this so much because I have a bit about how I realize that cats and dogs both know their names but cats just choose not to respond and like that level of boundaries and like always needing consent and like it is the self-respect of a cat is like next level and we all should think like I just know when I was younger and I was playing a lot of tennis and I was really stressed out and exhausted, I was like 13. And I just saw my cat laying there and I'm just petting her and I'm like, in my next life, I need to be you. And I've kind of stuck with that. I want that for you. Do you believe in reincarnation? I think I do. I think I do because I kind of believe in past lives to an extent. I just I don't know if I believe or I want to believe, but I feel like it's a thin line, you know? Yeah, I was going to say there's really no different. it's like astrology like I always say I don't believe in astrology but then I'll be like I can't come out because I'm a Virgo you know I I don't think I believe in reincarnation but I I if I could choose I would definitely choose to be a cat also they always land on their feet like they don't even get injured like I see dogs walking around here and they're like in the summer heat and they're exhausted but they need their exercise I go down to the park and

And I see all these dogs in the dog part just, like, defending their territory. It's just a constant battle. Cats just don't get hurt and nothing phases them. And that's, yeah, that's the energy that I want to. And they could lick their own butthole. So I would never leave the house. I wish I could lick my own butthole too. I wish.

What are you gluttonous about? So besides candy, like, what's something you overindulge in? Reality TV. Oh, my gosh. God, what's your favorite? I'm a big Bravo person, but I'm ashamed. I haven't seen Summer House, but. Oh, no, it's okay.

I'm ashamed. But I have seen all of Real Housewives, which I got into during the quarantine of Beverly Hills. That's the franchise that I've watched. I tried to watch New York, couldn't really get into it. I'm also big on Love Island. I'm really big on Love Island. I'm big on questioning this current new season of Love Island, UK. Oh, it's not that good.

Is that what you mean? Like, yeah, it's, it's, it's, I feel like people coming in, some shit could go down. Maybe I, I, the one thing I will say about it is I don't think anybody really finds love on it. Like, I feel like out of, there's probably been at least a hundred people who have competed. And I think probably two couples from. the first season are actually still together it's kind of just become this way that instagram people can gain more followers um and the type of people have it's changed the type of people just like just like the bachelor do you remember back then how earnest it used to be and now it's just they're not here for

the right reasons what like what reasons are you talking about nobody actually is why would you want a reality show to find love that's the stupidest idea of yeah and i love the bachelor too i i i've watched the bachelor and The Bachelorette for probably like 10 years, never missed a season. Amazing. I love Vanderpump rules. Literally the only one that I don't watch is keeping up with the Kardashians. Just purely because there's been so many fucking seasons that it would take over my life and there's no way.

I also feel like they must have so much control of the production that there's almost like a lack of fun in it where like kind of the fun thing is you like to watch. people like see when they lose control of their identities based on a reality TV show. Yeah. Well, actually, that part is kind of interesting to me. My sister watches it. And so I have seen like snippets of episodes when when she's been watching it. And back in the day, like, I feel like that show started when I was a freshman in college or something. And or maybe even before, maybe in high school. But it was just about their family. And it was just, you know, this kind of this romp of a show

kind of like the Osbournes in a way like just here's this wacky family and all the wacky stuff they do together but they're also super rich and hot but now it's become a show about how this crazy amount of fame has changed them and made them

you know have to operate so differently and have to protect themselves it's very dramatic very dramatic. I haven't really watched it. I'm going to be honest. But I like to comment about what I think about it without watching it. And I do, I almost feel like it's their like formal press release for everything. Like this is how this went down and this is how we felt about this and watched this in the moment in the way we want you

to see it. And sometimes they do have obviously like embarrassing moments and hard moments, but it's how like they are able to do that because they know that's what the people want. Oh yeah. And they have so much control like you ever yeah nothing goes without their control nothing and it's insane it's insane that they're that famous and they still maintain that level of control i think it's impressive as fuck to be honest and like do you ever notice that a story will come out like tristan caught kissing a girl at a club and it'll be two days before the premiere and it's like how did you make this happen or if something they really don't want will come out and then suddenly like Kendall seeing a new guy and that's all people are talking

about like yeah chris jenner really is like a puppeteer she's the puppet master yes she's the puppet master has she written a book do you know i'm not sure but i do love reading celib autobiographies but as someone who has dealt with reality tv i i used to love it and now i've been on like i couldn't watch the last couple seasons of some the last couple episodes of my season of summer house i've taken like break from it because I've seen what it's like when you're not in control. I think about like if I were on a reality TV show, I would react to everything. Like I would, well, that's your job is to react to everything. Yeah, but then I feel like I would end up making myself look really bad because I can, you know, I'm a loud mouth and I'll say something in the moment and then later on it'll be like,

what the fuck was I even talking about? If people around you are have your side, they won't talk bad about it in confessionals. But if people don't, then they could talk bad about in confessionals and show that side of the story. Like my last season, I had barely any confessionals. So no one knew what was going on with me. Oh, and why do you think that was? Because the other side was better TV.

Oh, see, that's, that's, there's so much politics that are involved with it. That's so, but you're done, right? You're not going back. So yeah, I'm done. I'm done. it was a like wild beautiful experience but the universe was definitely like you're not you don't belong in this space right now right and that's fair you know sometimes something is right for you in the moment and then it's not going to be right for you and i feel like three seasons that's a nice you know

progression like you can probably see you change a lot i was 26 and single and right and like i had yeah my life was so different and then in three years like i met someone and I'm in a serious place with and it's funny where people go on reality TV to find love where I'm like I'm literally protecting my relationship by being like being the public eye in a relationship is so unhealthy like to have people deciding if they're like fans of you as a couple or not that's crazy it's all ego based that is crazy that is crazy imagine if people are like you have like your friends who either like like your boyfriend or they don't but imagine like literally people rooting or not rooting for you as a relationship based on like a couple things that like people said about you in a confessional. right well you know um this didn't happen to me but this did happen to my co-host Andrea um a few years ago she was dating she was dating a guy that they're lovely guy they still talk but he was a very hipstery skinny uh half shaved head type of Brooklyn uh artist type right and she posts a picture on her Instagram and the comments that were so mean I could not believe that people felt entitled to comment. Somebody said he looked like a gay Woody Woodpecker.

Somebody said, like, how could he, how could that like little skinny slim gym handle all a badass? You know, like, it was just like really, everybody calling him gay. And like, that made me feel like, okay, because I was single at the time. I was like, when I have a boyfriend, I'm going to try to keep him off social media. And I have stayed true to that. You only see so much or what they want to show on the show and I was in the meantime like developing a real relationship like that they decided not really to show but I was like talking to him every single night and we're growing whatever was it because they were trying to like do you think they wanted to portray you a single triangle they were trying to make it look like I was into someone else but I but I was like

but then once this guy came in they were like oh Hannah was lying and it's like no I wasn't lying about anything everyone knew about him from day one but it's so funny we're getting the tea now that we're here um no i love it it's crazy because then people are watching the season and you know they're in that space of like what's going on and what they're seeing well meanwhile there's months going by and then i get engaged and i post and people like freak out and it was a ton of positivity but also a ton of just like this one's not going to last he's using her for fame this isn't going to work like imagine getting engaged like the best most beautiful moment of your life and people shitting all over it like it's great because because of what they saw on a TV show that's entertainment and it was and and the

timing was such that it was airing yeah oh my god that it's way more interesting to make a love triangle look like or or like I'm tricking someone because I have a guy on the side when it like actually I was very open and honest about it the whole time I am so sorry that that happened that is so shitty it's okay that is so shitty it's okay i'm out i'm out um yeah but this is a good segue speaking of being angry when was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or anger oh i'm not an angry person i can't remember the last time i actually got angry at someone interesting interesting you're more of a sad you're like it has to be one or the other no i

Yeah. Oh, actually, yeah, I guess I am more of a sad because when I get angry, I will cry. Like, I cry more out of anger or frustration than I do out of like melancholy or sadness. So, so yeah, I think that's how I respond. I don't, I usually really don't get angry at other people. I get upset or hurt or frustrated like internally at the situation. So I'm sorry if that's like a bad answer. no it's not i'm more like i just like cry when i get like intense emotions or i like hold it in until i implode um yeah i i'm just like thinking back to times that i've cried it's usually because i'm i have this yeah i have this frustration and this anger that like i can't process but it's not i don't direct it at other people it's just not i hate fighting i hate seeing people fight it's more like you have anger towards yourself yes yeah i direct it inward same zies when was the last time you were a sloth so like a lazy piece of shit did nothing all day oh um probably like two days out of the week okay yeah i mean i think for your mental health it's important to like turn off not just when

you're sleeping i um the i set my own schedule and so i get most of my work done probably like in a four day period and then the rest of the time I'm pretty much doing what I want and that's just like the lifestyle that I want to live. I find it shocking that people go into an office five days a week for nine hours a day. I find that absolutely insane. I used to do it when I was like in my early 20s, but now I wouldn't have the energy or the just mental capacity for it. It's a certain kind of person because, like, I feel like I was fighting it internally. Like, I didn't know it, but I was like, I can't do it. And not the kind of like, I don't want to go to work more like I physically can't be a slave

to this system anymore. Yeah. Would you ever stare at a wall? I would just stare at a wall all the time, like sitting at my computer pretending to do work. In the nine hours? no one is doing work for the nine hours you have a certain couple of things you have to accomplish and you fucking fill in the day and that's why I'm like give people four hour work days and they will get their shit done and be happy yes a hundred percent you know what I do and this is probably

I have ADHD so this is just something that helps me but I actually think that it would help a lot of people especially people who work from home force yourself well don't force yourself but like tell yourself I'm going to do an hour of straight work and then I can do an hour of whatever I want. And then do that all day. I guarantee you you will end up getting more work done than you would if you just sat down and said, I'm going to get everything done at once. Well, you know those days where you're like, I need to get this done. And instead of enjoying the procrastination, you're procrastinating, not doing it, but you're stressed the whole time because you know you should be doing something else.

Just admit to yourself. These next two hours, I'm not going to do it. I'm going to fucking enjoy it and live life and then I'll do it at three you know yeah I'll go to the park I'll go to the thrift store like I can literally do whatever I want and not guilt yourself but then when I come back and not feel guilty about it but then when I come back it's an hour of straight work and that really like by the end of the day when you think about it like by the end of the day you've done six hours of work and you also have you know some cool new outfits and got a tan you know another question when was this is a tough one but when was the last time you let your ego or pride get in the way of something? You ever get in a fight with your fiancé or an argument or something?

And even in the moment, you know you're wrong, but you can't let it go because you're like, I'm already here and I need to be right. Like, I just need to be right. Well, so what happens? I 100% agree. But I'm doing this new thing where I think like, because I really want to make it work with this man, it's the first guy that I'll be like. I can see why he would feel that way

so I'm going to agree but you're wrong I can see how if I was wrong I would feel that way right but okay he's the first guy that I like will apologize to that's so nice sometimes it's just like it's easier because you're like we're not against each other

we're on the same team and if me just said and you could argue about literally anything at some point in a relationship like the littlest thing and then at some point you have to just like pick your battles yeah like i like i said i hate fighting like i don't pick fights with anybody but when somebody when i'm stressed out when i'm like in an anxious state or i'm trying to do something and i'm trying i'm stressing out about it if somebody questions me or like says something negative that at that point i will triggering. Yeah. It's yeah at that point I will snap. So I'll tell you like the Reader's Digest version because I know we probably need to wrap up soon. But I was throwing this little barbecue and I had some friends over. Where Joe Rogan this shit? Three hours. Yes. In our very fancy studio. So I was throwing this barbecue. I had some friends over and I had two vegetarians coming. I had one person who doesn't drink. I had another.

person who doesn't drink beer but does drink other stuff. I had one person who doesn't like cocktails only likes beer. I had so many different necessities. And I wanted to make them all happy. So I'm going around to multiple grocery stores. I'm getting different alcohol. I get this fancy like aperitivo. I get um, kava. Like I'm planning a fancy cocktail, but then I'm like, I need to get beer for the people who don't like cocktails because they're insane. and I go to the supermarket and I'm like, oh, God, these beers are so expensive. I just spent all this money on the cocktail shit and now I have to buy beer for everyone. Like, this is adding up to be so expensive.

So I'm like, you know what? I'm not going to get a ton of beer. I'm just going to get like a six pack and call it a day. And then, you know, people can sip on it. So I'm like, this is my mind. This is how I plan to drink. I like bang for your books. So like if I know that I'm only going to be able to have two beers,

I want it to be like a really high ABV percentage, okay? And that's the way I think. But now I've realized that that's not the way everybody thinks. Some people drink, you know, casually, whatever that is. So. You're like, I'm trying to lock out in one beer. Yeah, like I'm trying to get the most drunk for the least money. Would you guys not understand about that?

That's math. I'm smart. So I got like a 9%. ABV like double IPA like a really heavy beer but I got like a four pack of it so then I bring it home and the first thing my boyfriend says to me oh and this is after I was standing in the beer aisle like debating like yes oh do I get this one that's $18 but or do I get this one that's $23 but it comes with six cans and then I'm taking out my calculator and I'm calculate and then I'm like oh but that's 8% ABV and this one's 9% ABV like I I'm doing

all this map, I'm in there for, it had to have been a half an hour. I come back to the apartment. The first thing my boyfriend says to me is like, why did you get a double IPA? That's gross. And I was like, well, then you don't need to drink it. What do I care? And then I turn around and I start walking out because I have to go to another grocery store to get burgers and dogs. And I put in my headphones and I can see his mouth moving and I know he's apologizing to me and being super sweet and being like okay you're right like I didn't mean to stress you out like whatever and I'm just like pointing to my earbud I can't hear you the APV is too loud I can't hear anything you're saying there's too much ABV in the universe shut the fuck up taken over my brain

and then I just storm out and then obviously you know after you let out that much steam immediately you feel bad and immediately you're like oh god I need to walk back with my tail between my legs and be like sorry that I just acted like maybe no one will want to drink this double but your intentions were right they were pure okay but um I'll just confirm that nobody drank my beer. He was 100% right. Can you put half a beer in water and then it becomes normal ABV? It's like, you know, with 2% milk, you're like, if I put water in it, if I water it down a little bit. Yeah, yeah, then it becomes skim. If I mix red wine and white wine, then it becomes rosé. No, actually, two separate people opened the fridge and I was like, this is what we have. You know, I'm presenting the beer.

And I'm like, this is what we have. I got this very fancy double IPA. Immediately when people saw the ABV percentage, they were like, no, I'm good. That is so funny. I don't think I'm not a big beer drinker, but I've never even noticed the ABV. I'm just like, I know this is going to taste like beer. Yeah. I'm not that big of a beer drinker either, which is why when I do drink it, I want it to pack a punch.

But I wasn't thinking that most people don't think like that. most people just if they want to have a beer with a burger. You can't read minds. You can't read minds. I can't read minds. You're not a fucking Williamsburg Brewist, brewologist. Jesus.

I'm not a medium. I just, I'm not Long Island medium. There's like astrologist, but there's also brewologists. And they're like, oh, you're a 4% ABV.

That's something you would do. Hannah, I take you for about a 5.5. Like a hazy. That's something someone who's a 7% would say. um this is actually a good segue to our final question okay besides your boy toy who is the last person you lusted over like do you have a celebrity crush yeah and i feel like it's so um it's so you know passay but timothy shallame oh my god timothy salome is like the ideal man i just i love like

that European like lanky like I actually think like him and then the Americanized version of it would be like Seth Cohen from the O.C. Yeah. Like Seth Cohen was always like I like you want to talk about lust

like I think I knew for sure that I was straight when the O.C was on because Seth Cohen was just like he was not supposed to be the dream boat like the whatever the other fucking guys named the Russell Crow look like he was supposed to be like the bad boy that everybody loved but then everybody was jerking it to

Seth Cohen yeah yeah and it's funny because I think my boyfriend looks like Seth Cohen um a little bit yeah yeah well I'm definitely similar like I have a type and I love how quickly you answered that also I call him Timothy Chevrolet and also as someone who grew up in New York City this is like a New York City reference but he reminds me of just like every kid that went to LaGuardia like they're oh the school of the arts and he did go to LaGuardia but it's all of the like kind of like skinny hipstery kind of like very charming funny guys um and rich and rich from who knows where yeah it's so funny because i recently watched oh it's this movie with carrie mulligan it is called promising young woman oh i've heard of that i haven't watched it because it seems

super dark but it is actually it's not as dark as you'd think um definitely trigger warning for sexual assault but it was like very empowering and but like bo burnum's in it and i watched inside with bo burnum and i like loved it and then i was on like a full boberum binge because i like like his mind had you seen his other specials i i had but like they i just like knew like oh he's a genius but like i wasn't in it and then literally last night my fiance comes home and i'm watching promising young woman and he goes, so you've a crush on Bo Burnham. Like, let's just call it what it is. And I was like, I don't have a crush on Bo Burnham.

And he's like, you have a crush of Bo Burnham. And I was like, no, I just think he's super smart and talented and interesting and really attracted. And I happened to find out when I googled it that he's 6-5, which now I don't know what to do with that information. Oh, yeah. I know you're a sucker for the talls. I don't normally like beards on guys, but like him with his beard on inside, I was like, oh, I see you in a different light and I could work with this.

so funny. I find that so funny that, um, because Bo Burnham like has always to me been like a pretty clean cut. Yes. Pretty. Um, and like, almost like the crossover comic of America. Like I feel like everybody with like weird hairdo with like he almost had too long, um, sideburn. Oh, like a beetle. Like a yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I did not like his hairdo. I just think it's funny that for you to find him attractive. I need him to be raw. I need him to like grow a beard like not shower a little bit like have like kind of a little gut like naked yeah with his little boxes on being crying and I was like I'm into it the vulnerability I didn't like his quaffed look like trying to be hot I like just like being authentically sad right and if you've learned anything from this being your authentic sad

self is where happiness lies yeah and that's what's hot Bo Burnham without Botox Botox B-E-A-U oh my god genius final question for you that was the final game question now final overall question okay we've gotten on this journey together what advice would you give to the little devils on how to cope with your hell when you're going through it when it's dark when it's fiery what do you do to survive this sounds way too simple but deep breathing deep breathing has absolutely changed the game for me i started doing it in therapy and it really it gets you out of your like reptilian i am fighting for survival part of your brain it's like if you're i struggle with anxiety like if i'm having an anxiety attack really focusing on my

breath taking three deep breaths in through the nose and then out through the nose focus on the breath on your upper lip i know that's also probably sounds weird but it's like it focuses is on one singular area of your face and it really helps that really helps do you meditate also i don't meditate no i should but i mean i kind of do like i don't call it meditation but i will sit on the porch and do some deep breathing for a few minutes which i guess is meditation but i get i don't think of it as meditation i just think of it as calming myself down having a moment to like ground yourself in your body um i really think it works and also tell people like tell people how you're feeling don't just sit with your feelings because when i do that it snowballs out of control i i like to be able

to tell somebody who i trust and who has a calming presence and can call out when the voices in your head are lying to you instead of you just like believing them and like coming up with more narratives and more of a storyline that's like might just be made up exactly and sometimes you think that the hell that you're going through is unique to you. And I hate to burst your bubble, but it's not. It's really not. There are other people who have experienced the exact same thing that you are. And the second you say how you're feeling to them,

they're going to be like, oh, girl, I know. I was feeling like that the other day. But then I realized that I'm not. You know, it's community and just like confiding in people really helps. Oh, I love that so much. Emily, where can people listen to you, follow you. Give me the goods. Sure. You can listen to my podcast, RIP diets. It comes out every Monday and we're in the off season right now. So it's the perfect time to binge those episodes. Also, I've had Hannah on

and that would be a great episode to start with. If you like Hannah, you will love it. We talked about her being an athlete and also spiraling out of control with her eating and yeah it was really interesting and i actually didn't know any of that stuff about you i didn't know that you ever struggle with that so it was it was a it was a good bonding experience too so you can listen to that that's available wherever you get podcasts and you can also listen to the hot mess comedy hour available wherever you get podcasts it's just about being a hot mess and you can follow me at lubination on social media that's l-u-b-in a t-o-o-n i love it i love it so much Emily, thank you for coming to hell and we'll talk to you guys later. Bye.