Berner Phone - Episode #130: Cheesy Slogans To Live By

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

This week, Des and Chris are back on a dialer-heavy episode talking about their best cheesy slogans for life.  Get tickets to see Hannah on tour here. Get tickets to see Des on tour here.

Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop. Thanks for calling the burner phone. If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast. So, welcome back to Burn a Phone, everybody. Hello, our little dialers, as Hannah would always say. It's me and Chris. How are you, Chris? I'm good, man.

We're getting ready for Blizzard number two out here. You just escaped in the nick of time. We were supposed to record in person. We were supposed to be together. And I had to get out of, I needed to leave New York. And as a result, I had to change my flight to 5.40 a.m. Well, you love that anyway. That's kind of how you prefer a role.

It wasn't for me in this situation because I had two shows in West Nyack, New York. I didn't get home until 12.30. I didn't get to sleep until 1 o'clock. And I had to wake up at 3.30. So anyway, neither to say, here we are. Nice and fresh, but virtual. Unfortunately, I was looking forward to an in-studio session. But the New York winter continues to just pound the city.

Very difficult. Yeah, dude. Moving around, what snow out here is bad. And I think we're supposed to get more after the initial. Really? I'm not looking forward to it. Yeah. Yeah, I think we're getting more afterwards.

Oh, my God. Well, anyway, we're here. We've managed to work our way around the, the inclement weather, all the emails I was getting. It's very like, the modern technology of flying is amazing because you're constantly updated, but it is like anxiety inducing and like you just start getting all these reports.

And then you have to make a decision like, is my, you know, is it time to be proactive and change my flight or should I wait and see if it starts with rain and, you know, so it was a stressful couple of days. So anyway, I was thinking, I'm thinking about the prop this week, and I think we might have done something like this quite a while ago,

but, you know, I always feel that there can be quite the cynicism on, like, the cheesy slogans, the things you see on a wall or in a beach house or whatever, and you can be quite dismissive of them, but often their simple knowledge can, like, be a reminder every now and then. You'd be like, oh, yeah, that's great, you know. that it hits you in a way that, like, is effective. So I ask the dialers to share their cheesy slogans

that have actually been helpful and how they've been helpful. Now, Chris, do you find yourself cynical about these things sometimes? Only when people start to live, like, exclusively through cheesy slogans, like when we get into, like, Anthony Robbins territory, that's where I kind of get off. But I think they're around because they work. Like, there's something to them. There's value in them.

but if you're just living completely through them, that gets a little tough to stomach. By the way, for the record, I think that Tony Robbins is an absolute charlatan, but I did go to one of his workshops before, and I actually did get something out of it, but I was also aware that this was like a scam. Yeah.

But like, it's a collection of good information. You know, it's kind of like curated wisdom. I think that's completely fair. I have to ask, Was this pre or post 9-11? Because that's been the metric, the meter stick that we've been using. When was this that you went to the Anthony Robbins?

I think it was post-9-11. Why are we using a post-9-11? You referenced post or pre-9-11, I think, the past three pods. So that's the new standard, I think. I know, yeah. Well, the thing is that, like, 9-11, I was 24. So, what was I, 25? 9-11, I was 24, about to turn 25.

So I, or was 25 about to turn 26. But yeah, no, the Tony Robbins. To be able to afford a Tony Robbins seminar, it would have to have been post-9-11 for me. All the big, all the exotic purchases came after 9-11, just for the record. In terms of my financial situation, it would be post-desbiz.

Bishop work experience. That was a big life-changing moment. But anyway, so I actually, I can't stand Tony Robbins, but I don't totally dismiss some of the sort of knowledge that he's curated. And I wouldn't dismiss anyone who said they got something from Tony Robbins. But I do think that he is a con man. So needless to say, all throughout my life, recovery and all these different things, there have been simple slogans.

And it was funny, sometimes you can forget, you know. Sometimes you can forget them completely. Don't hear them for a decade. And then you hear it right at a time where you like need it, you know. And I always feel like I always used to use the the comparison of like Tiger Woods at his peak. He still had a swing coach, you know. Like he's the best golfer in the world.

And he would still have somebody who was an inferior golfer to him, by the way. You know? Or like Serena Williams had fucking Patrick Mordogau or whatever. who's like an inferior tennis player to Serena Williams. But they still have an objective observer, like watching them being like, hey, there's a little habit that's slipped in here. Like, you just need to keep checking in no matter how well things are going. You've got to stay on top of things.

And I do think sometimes these simple slogans can help in that way. Do you have a favorite, Chris? I don't off of the top of my head. I'm not a big slogan guy. Do you have one? I mean, I have so many, you know. What's your favorite one? Or what's the first one that comes to mind?

Well, I like the serenity prayer, even though I'm not a prayer guy. Yeah. You know, I talked about it on the bishop exchange, right? So if you take the word, God out of it, right? No, if you're a God person, leave God in, right? If you're not a God person, take it out. I just don't want people getting hung up on the God part of it. Right.

But if you just take that out, the fact that it's a prayer, right? Let's call it the serenity affirmation. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Right? accepting the things you cannot change is a huge anxiety reliever, just a great sort of way of coping with life, accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can,

which is huge to be able to take action on things that you actually have the ability to change. Like you have the power in your life to make that better and the wisdom to know the difference, which of course is essential because it's pretty important to know what do I need to just accept or let go of? And what do I need to like take courage, get courage to take action? And I just think that those three basic sort of sections of that affirmation, prayer,

have helped me a lot throughout my life. Yes, I did learn it through recovery. And it does have a lot of religious connotations. But regardless of all that, I think it's effective for everybody. I don't think it has to be a recovery thing. Like, the thing about recovery for me is like back in the day, people like me were like, listen, I don't have a choice. I have to figure out how to cope with life because I'm failing.

You know, I'm failing. That's like people can be pro or anti, 12 steps. But like the fundamental thing of the 12 steps, the first thing you admit is that it's all gone tits up. The official language is we're powerless over alcohol. lives have become unmanageable. But let's, let's broaden it out, right? Yeah.

It's all gone tits up. Admit it. Stop pretending that everything's okay. It's a fucking disaster. Okay. My life is unmanageable, right? So you're admitting defeat, right? And so the great thing about that is that you're going into a place where people are like,

listen, we're aware. We are forced to find some life coping mechanisms. And everybody. there is in the same boat as you. Yeah, but here's the thing, though. Now in the modern day, I feel like there's a greater amount of people, regardless of the addiction moniker, alcoholism moniker, eating disorder moniker, depression, anxiety moniker,

despite any of these labels that you can put on finding life difficult, right? People are very open to searching for ways to cope, you know, ways to get through this, which I think is really positive. So I always felt like I was lucky that I was forced to get into that type of language early on. So that's one of many. You know, at AA meetings, they have all these slogans,

keep it simple, easy does it, you know. So some of that kind of stuff comes up in the pot. I don't want to step on anybody's. When I sent them over to you, I had said, played this first one, but actually don't. Just go to the second one.

Let's get into them. Yeah, I mean, I'm ready to run across hot coals, so let's do this, man. I've done that, by the way. You can't fix the shit in your head with the shit in your head. I just, when I heard that, I thought that was amazing. I have done the walking over hot calls. Did you know that or did you just say that as a joke? No, that's an Anthony Robbins thing.

I've heard. I did it. I did it at the Anthony Robbins? Yeah, cool, maus, cool moss. I did it at the London Convention Center. What is it called the X? The Excel Center, London. Okay.

Cool moss, cool most. I feel like I've told this story and like you edited it, but you weren't like paying attention. Like in that, like you weren't with me and Hannah when I told it. Maybe. But for those, perhaps if I haven't or I told it somewhere else. So the cool moss, cool most thing. So this is the epitome of the charlatan nature of Tony Robbins, right? Yeah.

So the whole, the Friday of the seminar. is building up to this thing of mind over matter, you can fucking walk on hot coals, right? And it gets into this mantra of cool moss that like if you imagine that you're walking on cool moss, you can walk over these hot coals that like your mind is like creating a power, right? So then we're all pumped up,

we're all saying cool moss, cool moss, cool moss, cool moss, cool moss, cool moss. It's like a fucking thousand something people there. We're all lining up to walk over these. fucking hot coals and you can't believe it right you're fucking walking out into a parking lot and there's like strips upon strips of fucking hot coal lines right yeah and like everyone's doing a cool most but they give you these instructions they're like listen you got to wet your feet right before you go in and you got to keep walking like do not you know ponder thoughts while you're walking just walk right you can't you can't delay on any step yeah so very strict instructions right

And like obviously everyone's doing it so I'm curious But it is like frightening right you're gonna walk in these fun these coals So I do it cool moss, everyone's saying cool moss The whole place is saying cool moss it's fucking hilarious And then you walk over it and it's fine You know like on like one of my steps I felt like like the tiniest bit of like you know Oh I must have like you know stepped like a second too long

And like fine you know And of course afterwards I looked it up or maybe months later I looked it up. And like, it's just science, right? The ash from the way that they set up the hot coals acts as a tiny bit of insulation. And with wet feet and quick steps, you can get away with walking over the hot coals.

There's no mind over matter. Now, the only thing I will say with the mind over matter thing is, you believe that you can do this and you do it, right? So as an exercise of like, oh, I was afraid to do that and I did it, yeah. But the problem is that he's selling it as more of like a mind over matter. thing. And I get it. He's into all this neurolinguistic programming. And like there's a lot of science behind the NLP stuff that absolutely works. And one of them is probably giving people the audacity to believe they can walk on hot coals. But it's also fucking bullshit. It's like a scam.

It's like a magic trick. Yeah. It sounds like a good way to upsell someone on like $2,000, you know, membership. Yeah, because the thing is that he's selling it like as if part of this is like your mind is giving you the power to do this. But it's not. It's just the pace that you're walking, your wet feet can allow you to do this without pain. And by the way, there's been numerous injuries over the years because some people fucking panic, they stop and they fucking burn their feet because you got to keep walking. Yeah, you're going to sign that waiver before you go over the colds. It's not your mind.

But let's not get hung up. There's a lot of Tony Robbins bashing here. So can you replay this one? Because actually I thought it was so good. Yeah, I got you. You can't fix the shit in your head with the shit in your head. I just think this is amazing. But before I start, because I'm doing all the talking,

and I'm just curious what you take from it, because I have a lot of baggage with this statement that I'm going to explode on. So what do you think first? I think it just means that you have to get yourself some help to help yourself, basically. Like you can't just start to fix a problem that's inside of your own mind. You have to go and get. I take it as a help thing.

Like you have to do something to change your like baseline state and whatever created the shit that's in your head to begin with. Well, that's great. See, it's interesting because I immediately went to like a memory of how in those early days of when I was like trying to sort my life out, I was really drilled with the thoughts that my mind was really the source of a lot of my problems that like I really had a lot of like stinking thinking. another term that we took from there.

And I guess, like you would say, like, also similar to the Tony Robbins thing, like sort of patterns in my mind that had been, you know, like the script had been written. So actually my mind was like a dangerous place, like a toxic hellhole, that if I let things fester in there, they would turn bad, you know. So I loved this statement because it's so quick and effective to be like, shit's fucked up in your brain. Don't think you can go back in there and fucking find all the answers because your brain's going to keep fucking with you.

Yeah, you got to see that what. Yeah, but what's great what you took out of it because that's actually way more practical. I was like loaded up with a load of baggage, but all similar in the sense that like you absolutely have to go for help. you also absolutely have to stop ruminating on whatever the fuck is going on, the shit in your mind. Like if you think you're going to go in there

with your head all banged up and be able to just clear that shit away, like particularly when you have no skills for dealing with that, it's not going to work out. Yeah, mental health is a weird thing because you're using your own brain, at least like initially to figure out how to fix your own problems,

even in like the seeking help portion of it. Like even if you're going outside of yourself to fix the problem, you still have to make the decision with your brain. A hundred percent. And the whole thing of the whole thing of like your brain is like a toxic place and like it's not a safe place to be. They're all just tricks, right?

Because at the end of the day, it's all going on in your brain regardless like you just, like you just said. Right. So it is, it's a mindset, right? Of like, hey, I just, I can't trust what my brain is doing with my thoughts. Because like, for me, it's like that, that cycle of your thinking, you're thinking affects your emotions, but your emotions affects your thinking. And when all that is really bent out of shape,

you know, you're just running on a cycle of energy that's very hard to control, you know? Yeah. And that's why what you said is actually very practically poignant of, that is definitely a time where you've got to go see somebody. Because a problem shared is a problem halved. There it is. Do the whole pod in cheesy slogans

that actually have value in society. So I had never heard it articulated in that way So anyway, this guy, this friend of mine In the early days that was helping out He always said, you know when you're talking to somebody who you don't like? And in your mind, you're like, this fucking asshole He's like, that's the way you need to think about your brain When your brain is telling you you're a piece of shit

Or you need to drink again Or things are never going to get better. you have to treat your thinking like that and be like, fuck this guy. Because he's never really, never really been a good friend. And I really use that a lot in the early days, the visualization of fuck this guy. That's great because you're like basically applying a negative to negative self-talk. So they cancel each other out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. Let's see what we got. Yeah. Hey, Anna and Des. My name's Shannon. I'm actually a nurse coach, so that's registered nurse meets holistic health coach, so I love this prompt. Something that really helps me is the phrase, what's in the way is the way. As someone who has ADHD and can just get overwhelmed easily with anything from tiny chores to bigger topics, this helps me just kind of reframe it and remember that like the thing I can't stop thinking about is going to keep bringing me down and keeping me stuck until I just do the damn thing.

So what's in the way is the way can help me with anything from folding the laundry to making the phone call that I've been thinking about for a week. I mean, you name it, anything. So, yeah, hope this helps you and anybody else and love the podcast. This is the way. Do you watch The Mandalorian? I did not, no. So again, another, like, great saying for like something that I really struggle with, which is like procrastination.

But I feel like sometimes procrastination can you make it feel like cleaning your room or like doing an assignment. But I also do put off like awkward conversations. Yeah. You know, like just like more, you know, relationship, not like relationship. but Hannah, but just like different relationships or just different situations that need to be dealt with, I can put those off, which of course then exacerbates the situation in my head. And this is a nice way to frame it. You know, what's in the way is the way.

The anxiety of thinking about whatever you have to do, whatever the task is, like even if it's just a conversation, you make it so much worse than it actually is. If you're that type of person where you're procrastinating and getting anxious about things, Like a lot of the times if you just do it, it takes way less time than you think it is. It's way less painful. Like you just got to kind of go for it. But sometimes I'll put something off

because I don't know exactly how to approach it right away. I think there's like a certain amount of buffer time where sometimes I'll think of a better way to handle something, especially in like the conversation aspect of things rather than it being like a task. And that does help sometimes. But if you get stuck in the loop and you're just putting it off forever, you're just like burying yourself in anxiety.

Yeah. But it's a good visualizer too. the way that she frames it what's what's in the way is the way because it does actually make me think of like basic video games like Mario Brothers and different things where like you know it's like well actually if you need you if you want to get to the goal you're actually going to have to deal with this obstacle in your way you know and if you kind of go around it you're either not going to have enough

points at the you know what I mean like it's like this is essential for continuing on the journey you know so again just a great little way to frame basic things and it's funny so many of these things can really be framing or like sort of dealing with similar problems, but there will be one saying that hits for somebody more than somebody else. And of course, she's in the field, which is great.

Yes, we have an expert. I had only numbered those first couple, Chris. Not because, by the way, I was like, is Chris going to get offended not because he's going to think that I'm controlling because he went hot, but it wasn't actually it was because these slogans

are less, like, there's just like, you've just gotten like a list of things. is it's hard to pick. So those were just two that I thought were like good to get going. Rather than me being like, Chris can't pick a crazy, because there's no crazy ones to pick in this situation. Yeah. So I leave the rest of the order up to you, Chris.

All right. I know where I'm going. Hi, I love the pod. Does and Chris, you're killing it. Love the guest. So thank you for continuing even without Mama Burner, my queen and savior. I would say one of my favorite quotes that I live by and I also uses my work as a therapist is be curious, not judgmental.

I feel like this is particularly relevant within this day and age, but just the idea of if someone cuts me off and someone's doing something or someone just fucking pisses me off, I try to be more curious and not judgmental. Of course, I'll throw out of fuck you here and there. But otherwise, I try to reflect and be more curious and not judgment. of others. And I feel like this is really helping in my life. Thank you.

Love you guys so much. You always got to keep a fuck you to throw out here and there. But I do like that advice a lot. This saying is great for me. This would be like I would actually say this for me was like one of the more like fresher takes, like something that I needed to hear because I can be a bit cynical. I can be more prone to dismiss something than just like open. in my mind to it.

I, you know, I can't think of, like, good examples, but, like, from lighthearted stuff to, like, let's watch this show. And I'll be like, I'm not into that. To, like, I don't know, like, maybe like a type of comedian that I just assume I'm not gonna like.

Or, you know, and then even, like, more just, like, suggestions about things I could do to help my life, you know? I can be quicker to be cynical or dismissive than actually be, like, at least, let's, give this a chance, you know? And I think that be, how does she frame it again?

Be curious, not judgmental. Yeah, be curious, not judgmental. Yeah, be curious, not judgmental. I think I'm prone. I would say I'm on the negative side of the spectrum of quick to judge. Yeah. You know, maybe not as much about like humans. I think I'm pretty good at giving humans the benefit of the doubt,

but perhaps ideas, ways to do things, like, you know, low-level, light-hearted stuff, like things to watch. But I think I can be, like, overly quick to judge. And often, like, come back, you know, do eventually let my curiosity get me to. I do come back to things. I don't dismiss them forever. But I often am like, why did, why was I so dismissive of that up top?

Like, that's like, like, I would put that in the count. character flaw category? Yeah, I think everybody's like that. Like, for example, a large part of why I'm in this, like, job and profession generally is, like, I'm a pretty curious person. I like hearing, like, different perspectives on things. But, like, also, like, just as a reflex, I think people are naturally judgmental about some things.

Yes. They think they know the right way to do it, especially if, like, you have experience in it. So I don't think, I think everybody has a little bit of it. I think it's a good mantra. Just a curious, a question of curiosity here. And I don't want any names, but was there ever a podcast that came to you, like, to record? And you were like, yeah, I'll fucking record it for the money.

But like, this is bullshit. And then you were just totally surprised by how interesting it was. Oh, I see. Because I was, before you get to the last sentence of that, I was like, yeah, frequently. It's like that a lot. Yeah, definitely. You know what I mean? Like, you know, you're just like, oh, shit, actually, wow.

I'm sorry that I judge them so hard in my head or whatever. For sure. Yeah, for sure. And that's part of what I love about it because you do get surprised like that fairly often. And it's a cool feeling. Like that's the best kind of curiosity. Like when you're not expecting it, when you've already like kind of written it off,

even if it's just like partially in your own head. That's awesome. I love that. Yeah. But the problem is that sometimes you can be so quick to judge that you don't actually ever allow yourself the chance. Yeah. Yeah, you don't listen.

I mean, I've definitely been guilty of that, you know. For sure. I think we all have. I guess so, yeah. But a good saying so far, I mean, just like the wisdom coming off the dialers today is off the charge. Can I just say before we go to the next one? Sure. That sometimes, you know, when I checked them, I find them a bit emotional.

Like, I actually, I found this one a bit more. Of course, I was tired. I was checking them after, like, I hardly slept. I flew. But, like, I was on the flight checking them? Because I feel like getting emotional on flights. That's a, that's a scientific thing. Right.

more emotional. No, no, I checked them when I got home, but like, I got choked up a couple of times. There was people dropping some serious wisdom. So anyway, guys, you know I love telling you about cash app. When you get the cash app card, not only do you get access to a ton of perks and benefits like exclusive early access to nationwide concert pre-sales or discounts on popular brands, but you also have extra security with the power to instantly lock or unlock your card right from your phone in just one tap. You know, in these times, there's always people out trying to do dubious stuff online.

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range between 499 to 1199 a month for your first year. Terms apply on COVID repairs. It's okay. Let's see. Let's go. Let's go funny one real quick. What's up, Des and guest? Longtime straight guy listener are both pods. Anyway, a cheesy saying that I still kind of live up to, but it was definitely way, way, way overused is Yolo. You only live once for the two people who don't know what that means. Having a kid and a wife in my 30s, you gotta get away any chance you can. So if someone asks you to take a trip

or take the night off, just go ahead and take that. Also, ladies, if you need to get away for the weekend, you gotta get away from the kid, got to get away from the husband, take a trip with the girls, your husband or your man can watch your kid. They will not die.

They will be okay, I promise. you can show them this recording as proof. Hey, babe, this guy in the podcast says that it's fine if you leave your kid with your brother. It was the second part of that that I found really funny because I have definitely witnessed the lack of faith and the husband being able to hold down the fort. I think, I'm thankfully so in a lot of scenarios, but it's a little extreme sometimes. Yeah, but no, but I do, you know, I feel that for, and listen, I'm speaking as an observer. not an experiencer of the parenting stress.

But friends and family and different things, people that I've been close with over the last two, maybe three decades in terms of paying attention to this, I would say that one of the things that people struggle with is giving themselves the chance to get that little break, right? Yeah. And I think this could be wrong, but I think that the mothers find it harder.

I think they find it harder to say, he's going to look after things and I'm going to take this time. So I actually thought the second part of his message was like a good call to the moms because at the beginning you think like, oh, is this guy like talking shit about the moms? But he's basically saying like it's okay.

You should do it. It's good for you. And the guy can hold it down. You know? And I think that's actually, that's like good, more practical advice. YOLO can be good and bad, you know. YOLO can be good and bad, you know.

definitely go either way. I was going to say, if you have impulse control problems, you should probably not YOLO. You're going to get to the end of that one life a lot quicker probably, but I do think for certain people that yeah, it works out well. Like you just, oh, I'm too tired. Oh, I don't want to go there. Like, you get to live a little bit. But I have to say, my friends, and their marriages or partnerships with parenting,

the ones that I think have the healthiest like balance of, you know, like relationship and parenting are the ones that are very good at allowing each other to do their own thing from time to time. Yes, absolutely. And I just think that's healthy. And, but I also understand that it can be so hard to like let go, the anxiety, the fear of what might happen when you're gone. But that is one of those great practical things that you should try.

So thank you to a rare. male dialer. Yeah, he did great too. It was the first time that it wasn't trying to be like funny. And it was still fun. Even though I was actually. Go ahead, Chris. Okay.

Okay, one quote that kind of sounds depressing, but is also inspiring is nothing matters because sometimes you can get overwhelmed just thinking about the smallest little thing. But when you're just like, well, nothing really matters every day. It's just a gift to be live. It can be comforting.

Yeah. I mean, this is great because my dad actually said this. I actually have him on camera because when we were making that documentary about my dad, I broke like a like a pot or like a bowl or something. We were fucking, we were messing around and we're on camera. And I smack something off the wall and it's smashed on the ground. And my mother came in. I mean, she was performing a bit for the camera,

but she was like, had a big reaction. And then we were, like, joking about it a bit. And then the camera goes on my dad, who's dying, by the way. Like, the documentary is about the fact that he's dying. Yeah. And he was like, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. I was just like, when I watch it back,

it's like so poignant because he now knows that, like, all the small shit, it's just irrelevant, you know? Like, we're not. going to waste these moments on worrying about shit like that. So it is good to remind yourself sometimes that like things are not as important as they are in your head often. So another great simple one for the for the dialers. Yeah, I like it a lot. As long as you're not saying like literally nothing matters in the sense that like you just don't get any joy or like value at anything. I think that makes sense though to like zoom out when you're like dealing with all

these day-to-day problems and you get all caught in it, you like forget the reason why you're doing any of those things, which is to have a good life. Well, I have to say, I didn't even think of it in that regard, but yes, there is the other side of that. There's cynical people that say that too, and they're like, giving up on life version of it doesn't matter, you know? Or like, I'm fucking, fuck it, I'm taking heroin, like it fucking nothing matters. But, you know, I think in the context that we're saying it, I think it's a good one. Crack on, Chris. I want to get to as many these as possible. Let's go with. I have always used the saying smile and the world smiles with you. It's a saying I say lots.

Everybody that knows me knows that I use that phrase often. I've just held that to be a truth my whole life. In any situation, you know, if you come into it with a positive attitude and try to be happy, you tend to get the best out of everybody. The funny thing is that not many people know this, is that I got it from a shirt that had as a child that said, smile and the world smiles with you, but farting you stand alone. And, well, I've also found that to be very true in my life. I didn't know that was a guy.

Wow. Look at us. So I tell you why I love this one because, I mean, obviously, it makes a difference. It's funny how the actual physical action of making yourself smile can actually change your mood. And it can definitely affect the people around you. But in a practical way, I've really noticed it because in the era of constantly recording your gigs and watching yourself back. You know, because I don't watch myself as much back in the day as I do these days. like sometimes in shows where I'm like stressed or I'm working on a new bit

and I'm in like concentration mode I can get quite a serious face and I can I can when I watch them back I'm like oh it's funny because I could tell at that time that like the vibe wasn't as good in the room and like things this is just comedy wise but like they're fucking funnier unless you're like deliberately acting out like being angry for like the joke, but like they're actually funnier when you look happy. Yeah. You know? Like, it's amazing the difference when I have concentration face or I'm stressed out or

and I, by the way, when I watch other comics, right? And I can see that like they're not smiling. They look intense. It affects the fucking room in a way that I was never aware of before because I just wasn't looking, watching myself back as much, you know? I was only watching the reaction of the audience. I wasn't actually watching what my face was giving away. And that's what made me really realize.

Like, you got to, like, you got to make the effort to, like, turn frown upside down. It affects you and everybody else. Not just audiences. I mean, real life. I notice it a lot with pods. Like, if I'm really, really busy and I'm just going through the motions, like, their show is not going as well. Like, I can. Really?

Yeah. I can, with, not with everybody, but with certain people, like, I'm bringing them into the studio and stuff. And if you start with good energy, it usually carries. more to the show. Yeah. And that is, and that's the same in, in everyday life.

So another, another simple but effective bit of wisdom. And what I love about that is it came from a cheesher, which was a joke, fart, and you stand alone. Yeah, that's awesome.

Which is exactly what I wanted. You know? I wanted the kiss, keep it simple, stupid, you know? Yeah. I wanted the, the dumb slogans that actually

help you in life. So let's, let's go in another one. Beautiful. Let's go. Hey, mom and dad. Hey, Chris. Saw Hannon.

Atlanta and she killed it. What you are is what you've been. What you'll be is what you do now. It's helped a lot. I need that again, I think. What you are is what you've been. And what you will be is what you will do or is what you will do is what you will be. I think.

Got it. You could play it again if you want to. Hey, mom and dad. Hey, Chris. Saw Hannah in Atlanta and she killed it. What you are is what you've been. What you'll be is what you do. do now. It's helped a lot. I like that because it really encapsulates those two things,

which is like, you know, you're, you're a product of like how you live your life, you know. So be aware that the future, you know, you will still, you know, these actions are going to create who you are. But the good news about being aware of like what you are, you know, what you've done is who you are. Like, particularly if you're like a little bit discontented, you can be like, okay, so what are the things that I think are leaving me in this place of discontentment? And like, what can I change in the future to actually, like, improve all this, you know? Yeah, you don't have to be like all doom and gloom about where you have been. Like, there's a separation between past, future and present. I love that. I love that.

Because you can get really discouraged about, like, damn, I've been messing up all these. years, but you put that behind you and then make an actionable difference. Yeah, and that's a huge thing, you know, especially like midlife crisis stuff where people sort of like suddenly there's like, you know, is this my life, you know? Yeah. And it's like, okay, well, you know, there's, you still are in control of changing that moving forward. The hard part is finding out like what are the right actions to take, you know, but that is,

you know, that's part of the responsibility of all. all these things, which is like, yes, the slogans are great, but like you do have to take action. And some of those actions might be educating yourself, getting help, um, doing something that you've been putting off doing, blah, blah, blah. But again, just like another great framing of action. I love it. This is going to sound like an age-based joke.

It's not that. This is a serious question. How many midlife crises do you think that you've had in your lifetime? Honestly, man, I, first of all, I don't need to be. even know if like I've ever even frame well I've never framed one really as a midlife crisis but I've had so many crises yeah they they but the thing is that like an identity crisis is what I'm kind of I don't know why I said it like that and identity crisis is what I'm talking because that's what that's I was just about to say that I feel like a midlife crisis has something

to do with like what am I doing with my life identity stuff a confusion about like what how did I get here or why am I still doing this? And I don't know if that's correct. That's just my own perception of what a midlife crisis is. I think a midlife crisis has to involve like a Ferrari or something and that's not what I'm asking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I, uh, but I've had plenty of crises that I'd never put down to sort of like identity. I put it down to sort of like life happening to me or me like fucking up in some way.

You know what I mean? Yeah. So like, you know, I've had plenty of those I've had to deal with like and they, they, they started long before my midlife. And they have persisted. But again, my life has been not

the calmest. A lot of big events, some of which were out of my control, like illness, you know, addiction in my control or not. Who knows? But like, that was a big mama, you know, going to another

country at 14, big mama. Death of two parents. before, you know, like, just like before you would have normally had to deal with that, pretty big mamas, you know. Big mama crisis is great. We should, that should be cool. And then just like the topsy-turvy, emotional nature of the stand-up comedy career. Yeah, of course.

And how that works and how like, you know, you can have these big moments of like, oh, fuck, the tabloids are at me. and, you know, just like all that. You know, like, so I feel like I've just had so many, like, big emotional upheavals throughout my life. Sure. But I've never, I've never actually framed any of them as like a midlife crisis. But maybe that's coming.

Maybe the fucking Ferrari is on the way. The Ferrari might be coming, man. But you know what's funny? That wouldn't be my jam. What's your jam? Yeah. What's your midlife crisis vehicle? I think it's got to be like a private.

jet. Whoa. I said Ferrari. Dead said, watch this. Yeah. No, because I just have no interest. Like, I'm still, even though I'm 50, I can't stop myself seeing somebody in a Ferrari or a Lamborghini and thinking,

what a fucking douche. Yeah, same. You know? I just wish that that wasn't the case because I'm pretty sure. Like, I would, listen, I love the New York Mets, you know. I love severance. I have things that I obsess about. I'm, like, so into a knight of the Seven Kingdoms.

It's ridiculous, you know? Like, I fanboy over shit. And I totally appreciate if some guys or girls get into cars, right? Cars have never been my jam, you know? But if somebody's mad into cars, I shouldn't be douching them because they've got the thing that they're, like, really into, you know? Yeah. Guys, it's the new year.

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Don't wait. Go to quince.com slash burn for free. shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too that's quince q-u-i-n-c-c-e dot com slash burn to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince dot com slash burn all right he does my cheesy slogan I actually have tattooed on me in Italian because it was on my grandmother's fridge magnet our whole life and it was something we always swore by it's life doesn't get easier you get stronger. Simple as that. Nothing gets easier. You get stronger, right? Kind of hard not to agree with it.

And it's definitely something I live by every day, no matter what's fucking ruining my day or making it seem like impossible to get through. I just tell myself, I'm going to come up stronger and better after this, no matter what. Well, I had to put that in first of all because, you know, Hannah would want that because it had the Italian connection. Yes. Yes. And it also made me think of one. that I really love. There's some bangers on like old signs or like sticker magnets from like decades ago. I have one after this, but it's, I don't want to interrupt it. Yeah, I'm going to hold it.

I like this one because I don't think it's 100% true, but I think there's a lot of truth in it. And I think it goes, it goes for like certain aspects of life as well as like life in general. You know, life's not easy. You just get better at dealing with it. You get stronger. Yes, 100%. You know, grief. Like people always say, how do you get over grief?

It's like, we never really get over grief. You just become, you know, you just get used to feeling it. Like the feeling becomes less powerful. You know, like all these things. Like, you do get better at dealing with situations. So 100%, I agree. Yeah, it can go in and out, though. Like, sometimes you can get really overwhelmed with stuff and not feel like you're strongest.

But generally speaking, like, you get a better idea of how to deal with it even in those times. Yeah. And I, yeah, because 100% this is not, like, it can't be universal because, like, there's just so many factors that can come in. to you being overwhelmed. But what I will say in terms of like you being stronger is like things that overwhelmed you, you know, years ago may not overwhelm you anymore

because you're more used to them. So I think it has. Another saying that this reminded me of was life is what happens when you're busy making plans, you know? Because that's the whole thing of like, you know, just what I was saying before about all these crises. Like, you know, you can spiritualize yourself up to wazoo.

You can equip yourself with just like being good at dealing with life, you can meditate, you can have real emotional stability, but it still doesn't change the fact that life's going to throw shit at you, you know? Yeah. And you're going to have to figure it out. What I do think is that the better you are

at like sort of like the maintenance of your mental health and your well-being, all that stuff will be less difficult to deal with than if you're overwhelmed to begin with and then life comes at you. That can be a lot, you know? Yeah, you give yourself a better starting point to deal with it.

Yeah. But I think in general it's a great slogan and particularly because it works for her and she's got it on her arm and that's like a wonderful thing. Plus it reminds her of her grandmother, which is wonderful. What's the one that you thought of?

Okay, it's kind of, it's kind of dark sounding in the beginning. Oh, God, here we go. Chris with the dark, bring the darkness. Well, you're usually the morbid one. And it's a little bit more. Okay, so it's a sign. My parents mostly got it at like a tag cell

or something like that. Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think. Oh, but that's good though, bro. You know I'm going to love that. It's right down my street. It just reminds you, dude. Like, you have a finite amount of time.

Like, enjoy yourself. Amen. Yeah. That's a good one. Listen, the Buddhists, the Buddhists believe that us Westerners shirk too much from the concept of our impermanence, you know? So I have no problem with people being reminded.

It's like, yo, we're here, we're here for a good time, not a long time. That's like a more lighthearted version of that. Yeah. You know, you remind me also not really. related to this, which is, I like that one, Chris. I got no problem with that, you know? Yeah.

We only got one. Because that's what, when I did the show about my mother, I have this whole section about like heaven, you know? And because like, hey, not to bring the mood down, but I don't believe in heaven. I actually think like when it's over, it's over, right? And then some people think that that's like morbid. You know, they think that's a bit bleak.

And I actually think it's the opposite. I think it's very motivating because it actually reminds you that like don't be fucking thinking like the afterlife is going to give you like a second shot like this is it yeah so don't be wasted urgency i need like as far as what people believe like who i who am i to say who really knows but whenever it's framed and it's something that's going to improve your life like i'm always for it you know like it creates urgency for making this life good what i say in the show is whether you believe in heaven or not the one thing i know for certain is that we don't know. So take a pick, whatever works for you, and we'll find out in the end who was right. But,

you know, I'm very comfortable with what anybody believes, you know? Because at the end of the day, like, it's just a guess. Like, pick the guess that works for you, you know? Yeah, absolutely. But it reminded me, because you talked about ones from your childhood, we had one on our, like, kitchen wall that was, love in your heart wasn't put there to stay. Love is not love to you, give it away. Oh. Which I always loved. You know. Bars. I loved it.

And then the deeper, more religious one, faith without works is dead. You know, at the end of the day, like, you got to give all these things life. You know? Yeah. You got to, you know, love, you got to give the love. They can't just remain sayings on a podcast. Yes. Well, you can only keep what you have by giving it away.

That's a core belief system of the 12 steps. Like, in other words, like this works by sharing it. And, you know, in the giving away, let me get really into the prayers that I like. The St. Francis' prayer, right? That make me a channel of your peace, where there's hatred, let me so love, where there's darkness, light, all those ones.

Great contradictions. But the St. Francis' prayer. You know, he says you can only keep what you have by giving her away. Oh, yeah, it is by self-forgetting that one finds. that always really was profound to me because at the core of so much of our ills, I think is self-obsession, self-centeredness, essentially going back into ruminating on ourselves, right?

And it can be hard sometimes to think, well, if I help another human or if I sort of step away from myself, you know, that that's going to help me. But it's in the self-forgetting, it's in caring about others that you actually come back and find a, deeper version of yourself.

But it can be hard to do that sometimes when you're caught in the sort of cycle of sort of like being obsessed with yourself. Yeah, because if you're just focusing on yourself, you're like at best, you're just maintaining what's already there. You're not creating anything new. Yeah. And you just learn. You know, the energy that comes from not just helping others, but just like being open

to others, like one of the early ones that we had about the, you know, not being judgmental. Like just the energy. that comes from that, it's just so much more positive and invigorating and energy creating than, you know, looking inward all the time, you know. Yeah. So I never thought we'd get to the St. Francis' prayer, but by self-forgetting that one finds a good prayer also. By the way, I'm not religious.

Yeah. I turn my back on my Catholic faith. But you're really, you're Desbishop this episode, though, for real. The St. Francis prayer is a good prayer. If you're going to go for prayers, I would put the St. Francis prayer way ahead of the Allfather. The All Father wouldn't even be in my top 100. Damn. The Serenity Prayer and St. Francis Prayer are my top one and two.

I don't even know what order. Interchangeable, 1A, 1B. I got one. The title of this is really interesting me. Well, I wrote the title. I apologize. Let's see what it's about. Go for it.

A simple slogan that has helped in my life is, put things away, don't put things down. I find it's really helpful for decluttering, but also just simple sort of like maintenance of a home sort of thing. If you're coming in and you're throwing everything on a table and then everything is cluttered and you're wondering why your table's always a mess, it's because you're putting things down and not away. Go put them away. Put your coat in the closet instead of slinging it over a chair, put things in a drawer, instead of leaving it on the table, go put things upstairs instead of saying, I'll do it later. Go put things away and your life will be better. Okay. Can we make this like, can we pontificate and make this way deeper

than it was meant to be? Well, I think, but I think she's allowing us the grace of the, the simple part of it, which you will. Yeah, which I, I love because I never listen to this, even though I've heard it and I know that I need it, I don't do it. Or I do it once within the day of hearing it. And then I immediately go back to my stupid habits that I then, you know, have to wait for Hannah's mom to come to. So I want, I want you to pontificate. I think you can apply this to how stuff in your brain works, like baggage in your brain works. Like you got to deal with stuff.

Don't just like put it to the sign. and say like, all right, I'm going to deal with this later. You got to deal with it head on because it's like over time. You're just going to keep shoving shit in whatever that like junk closet or drawer is in your house. And you're going to be carrying around all the shit that you don't need to carry around. Like just try to deal with it as up front as possible. It's good, Chris. You know, it's funny that there was a time where they thought you were just a laughing track to the group of spunker.

You're really coming with the, you're coming with the depth today, Chris, in a way that I really appreciate. I don't want this to come across as dismissive in any way. Yeah, but we'll see what the Spotify comments says. Shut up. Shut up. Go back to laughing, dude. I know.

Well, you know, it's all right. Actually, I haven't been looking at the Spotify comments as much. So, because I, you know what happens? It's like, now that, because you know what it is? We're in this transitory period, right? Of the podcast where we're trying to figure it out. And I don't want to be overly affected by everybody's opinions. Yeah.

You know? I want to, like, make decisions based on, like, not just what I think is best, but just like my own opinions on like how I'm feeling about like what each episode's doing and how it's working with guests and topics and so. So I was finding myself in the Spotify comments getting a little bit affected by people's opinions, which I like that people have the opinions. But it was also like at this time of like decision making, I just, I wanted a little less clutter around like the pod as it evolves.

Because it's, you know, it's like an important time. And we're trying to figure out what Bernaphone will be, you know. and it is a future without Hannah. That's the thing that's like, the burn of phone, the name will actually eventually change. I'm not sure what the name would be. That was something I would be very happy

with suggestions in the Spotify comments, like what we would call it, but eventually that will change, but the format will remain the same because I absolutely love the format and I love the dialers. But again, as I'm trying to figure that out, I didn't want to be overly, like, burdened with everybody's opinion, you know, because at the end of the day, like, everyone is very entitled to their opinion.

But it's like, it's, it's, it's, when it's, when it's, when it's a pocket, you have to find out what you want it to be, you know? That's, that's exactly what I was going to say. We have to figure out what we enjoy and everything. But I really do like the feedback. Like, I'm not going to lie. Like, producer brand and me. Well, that's funny. You stay in the feedback.

Well, I enjoy it too, direct, you know, because it's direct to the episode, you know. Yeah. I love, I just love hearing what people like and, like, and, like, it's, it's, It's more so just about like trying to align with what people like, with what our interests are and where we actually enjoy talking about and whoever we have on the pod and everything. And it's also that period of time too where the pod was something else. And it just kind of, it takes time even for us to be like,

this is what it is now. We own it, you know, like that's. So, but we're on that journey now. We're on our journey. Do you want to do one or two more before we wrap it up? Yeah, sure. Let's go with this one. Hi, Des and Chris.

Okay, so a sentence that is kind of cheesy but has helped me in my life is, enjoy the little things in life. For one day, you will realize they were the big things, and not to make this about death, but my mother passed away, so Des, I feel you. I'm also part of the dead parents club. And you realize when going through grief that it wasn't those big moments that you miss. It was really just those simple times with your parents, you know, just watching TV with them, having a coffee with them, just the day-to-day things that you miss.

So that's my cheesy slogan. Love you guys. Bye. Yeah, so you got to appreciate the little things. But, you know, so much of life is the everyday shit, you know? And you can forget while it's happening to just like cherish those moments, you know? Like just watching Netflix and, you know, and it doesn't. it doesn't just have to be about grief.

I mean, 100% anyone who's been through, like, I would say parental grief. Listen, everybody's grief is, I would never dismiss people's grief. But like the parental one is like a certain type, you know, then the spouse will one, whatever. But anyone who's been through that knows what she is saying is 100% true.

It's not like thinking about your graduation or even like thinking about your wedding. I mean, I didn't have that anyway. But, you know, it's the things that, kill you are the little moments where you're like, oh, you know, we did that. And, you know, and that's like a constant reminder. But it is also a great thing. Grief reminds you, oh, shit.

Life hasn't stopped. So let me make sure that I continue to appreciate these little things that I now see that I miss with the people that are no longer around. So that's one of the good things that grief brings you. A little bit of wisdom. This reminds me, I was sitting in a diner one time. And this woman, like I overheard in the other booth, was talking about her favorite memory with her mother was going to White Castle after taking her to

doctor's appointments, which is one of the more queen's stories, I think, that exists. That's so tough, though, man, because, no, but that is it though, bro. Yeah. That is it. It's that stuff. It's stuck in my head, dude. It kills you, but that's such, like, that's like a short film, what you just said there. Yeah.

You know? White Castle, too, it's funny. White Castle to me It's like White Castle is so fucking good And I never go Because I just I don't know why

It feels like the devil's popcorn Like you just can't stop eating those things man But I'm not speaking bad about White Castle But I never go Because it's just there's something about it You know Forbidden fruit dude I gotta I'm gonna go to White Castle now

I'm gonna go to White Castle And I'm gonna think about this woman's mother I'm gonna go there to celebrate This woman's mother's life This stranger in a booth bro You know Yeah, man. Yeah, it's the little things. It's the little...

I mean, I've said this... I feel like I've said this before, but, like, the one that kills... I think everybody, like, this is universal, is the first moment where something happens and you think of going to call your mom and you forget... for like a second.

You literally forget. And then you're like, ah... Like, I... You know, those are the one. That's the killer. Yeah, that's rough, man. but anyway I had to come on

you know I had to put a grief one in then yeah do we have any do we have any oh we have that we have the one that you originally meant to start with we can finish with the light hard one do you have any other life ones before we go on the lighthearted one which is not related to the prompt

there's a long one life happens for you be a goldfish head lasso another grief one what do you what do you like in you know what the life happens for you is like It's like a, it's strong in that like the explanation is, let's, let's finish on these with that. Okay.

Hey, Des. And whoever you're with today, I love you guys. Love Hannah, of course. Okay, so here's a few that have gotten me through some tough times. One is that life doesn't happen to you. It happens for you. So when shit goes wrong in the moment, not so easy, but if you can dig, in and just see what is in it for you or what the lesson is. In time, it will present itself,

but the quicker you can see it, the easier that time goes. And then what else do I use? You always have choice. So everything in your life is a choice. And when you look at it that way, things can flow a little bit more easily. So I choose to do this or I choose not to do this versus I have to or don't have to. I hope you have a great day. this is a I feel like a well-adjusted person that's went through shit like those are both like really really fundamental things in life like those two things have probably changed my life more than anything like when you're in a really bad part of your life if you can just like reframe it as like this is going to make me stronger and it's probably like it's something that's moving out of my life especially if it's like grief-based or whatever death of a level and obviously different but I'm saying like relationship stuff if you lose somebody in that context like if you can reframe it like that very early on, you have a much better trajectory to like recovering from it. Yeah,

because that's exactly, you use the word that I was going to use, which is the two great reframing exercises. Yeah. Of just like changing your perception around what's happening to you. It can be hard though sometimes, especially when you have no fucking idea what good could come of this situation, you know?

But it always does. Like it always like, you know, what's so great is in terms of the no choice thing, which this is not how she meant this, but like you have no fucking choice. You got to figure out a way to reframe it because there's just nothing you can do. You know, that's the hard part about like

what life throws you curveballs. It's like, okay, well, you have no choice. You have to figure out a way to reframe it because... It's the stuff that's out of your control, right? Like something changed and then you got to figure out what you can do with the things that you actually can control. But the second part, the reframing it like that of like, I choose to do this rather than I have to.

That's a great way. Because it does feel like sometimes like you're trapped, you know? Yeah. When actually you probably often have slightly more options than you think. And by the way, I'm aware that some situations aren't like that.

Sometimes you have no choice. You have to show up for a situation. No, but I get you. Because I feel like sometimes people treat like tough or very tough decisions as like non-decision. And that's like a mistake. You get like some of those tough decisions,

like you really got to make or you're going to be stuck in a much worse place for way longer. Yeah. And choice is a great way to perceive that. So listen, the dialers, the dialers came with the wisdom today. You know, this is a dialer's episode. This is, if we got the analytics out, I'd say the dialers are doing a lot of the talking on this one. The stupid thing is somebody put in the message. Just play it for fun as a silly thing at the end.

Ignore my meeting that I'm in. It's fine. It's not that important. Des, I just want to know how do you get your hair to do that little spooop? I'm just curious. I don't know what the prompt is for the next week because we just had a episode drop today. I don't know why I'm saying we like I work with you. Anyways, just curious how you do your little spoof Superman type of hair.

Because like, at least for women, you got to like use some kind of heat. to do your hair. And I don't think you do that. And I don't think you sleep with any kind of like roller wrap or cap or whatever. So just curious. I was watching your little ad with Hannah. And yeah. Okay. Number one, you are our co-worker because you're submitting. You're talking on the pod. Number two, I just feel like all Irish guys, not all Irish guys, but some Irish guys come with that. The wavy hair. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I, I, have no, I don't actually love this swoop. It just, it fucking happens at a certain, at a certain length when I have a certain

sort of like, you know, if I've blown dry, if I blow dried my hair and it's like a certain type of moisture in the air, the swoop comes, you know, it's not by choice, it's not by design, it's just sometimes it's there. I don't, I don't actually love it. It's just, it is what it is. It's just there. So I don't, I don't make a decision to have it. but I do love that like she's like at her meeting

and like doesn't give a fuck about her meeting classic sort of like modern corporate Zoom behavior I enjoyed the laugh though and I appreciate the perceptiveness of paying attention to my hair so thank you for some lighthearted finish originally I was going to start with that but we came in so we came in so strong and hot on the messages that it was like let's just get into it.

So anyway, guys, listen, a lot of dates on my website, go check them out. I added Australia dates, but I also added Asia dates. They're not on sale yet, but I'm doing Shanghai, Singapore, Hong Kong, and Taipei in Taiwan, right before I go to Australia.

So go and check that out. And I'm in Maine next weekend, but I think it's sold out. But anyway, I got tons of shows, particularly Albuquerque, New Mexico. I'm playing like on the outskirts at a casino. and like nobody's bought tickets.

So if you're in the Albuquerque area, ABQ, I see you. Come and check out my show. Link is right in the description. Wow, look, I didn't even know that, Chris. We got to. Amazing. All right, everybody.

Thanks so much. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.