Berner Phone - Hanna Dickinson: Ruining Weddings & Rock Bottom

Episode Date: August 19, 2020

Hanna discusses her first impression meeting Hannah, working with Chelsea Handler, online haters, being sober, getting dumped in a park, her tattoo mistakes, zoloft, being annoying, her belief in psychics, how she almost got casted as Hannah Montana’s best friend, awkward phone sex, and the time she ran into Leonardo DiCaprio. Get 20% off your first order of Native natural deodorant with code BERN at checkout Get 20% off your first order of Pretty Litter with code BERN at checkout Get 15% off your first order of Prose customized hair products with code BERN at checkout --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wait, so you left your, like, family friend's wedding to, like, fuck a guy the rest of the night? Yeah, and then I came back at the end of the wedding and started eating cake with my hands. Welcome to Burning and Hell. What's up, guys? Welcome to Burning and Hell. in hell. We are in the dark, scary depths of hell in real life as well. I want to welcome our guest today. She has an amazing name, Hannah Dickinson. She's a New York-based comic writer, actress, lover, fighter, and a friend. Oh, you're reading my website. Yeah. I like that line. And she has a new snapshot show called Get Money, which just premiered in March. And it's so fucking good. And she's a writer

on the social team at Comedy Central, and she's currently seeking an agent and therapist. Okay, good. So that's all still up to date? Still up to date, yes. Honestly, I'm impressed that your website's up to date that says a lot about you. Well, you saw one of those genuine bios that was like, I've done this, I've done that, but it was all kind of fluff bullshit. And I'm like, no one cares.

Get to the real, real. Yeah, I need a therapist, and I do need an agent. So I'm calling out to anyone. And also, if you get a really good agent, I feel like they could be. a therapist too oh is that how that works like two for one you just like bothered them all the time if you make them money also you're an you were an intern for chelsea lately i was i loved her humor of just being so mean to men and like i think i i subconsciously wanted to be that tell me the truth of what working on that show was like you won't break my heart it's okay honestly she was not she didn't

like to talk to people because by the time i worked there she had it had been on the air for for so long. So if I, she had needed me to do something, she wouldn't look at me or she'd just be like, I worked in wardrobe. So she'd be like, spray me with static. I'd be like, ah, okay. She made me very, she was very intimidating. But she cleared out, I worked in wardrobe and she cleared out her closet every season. So fall, winter, spring. And she lived in LA. So there are no seasons. But she did that anyway. And I got all of her clothes. So I felt like she was pretty chill. That's incredible. Apparently, it's like widely known when you mean. moved to LA that like the traffic is really bad and Ellen DeGeneres is a bitch.

But some guy on Twitter goes, hey, I will donate $2 to everyone who writes a story on this thread of a time Ellen DeGeneres was a terrible human. And it just blew up and went viral with the most insane stories. I need to see this. I've not seen this. Someone was like, I was a waitress and my nail was chipped. And then she told my manager and almost got me fired because my nail was chipped. and like just wild shit that you're like damn ellen like i don't know do you have any stories or experiences

so it's interesting people talk about ellen is like i think it's because she's such such a she seems like such a nice genuine person that for her to be a bitch is like crazy it feels like a math it's kind of like when everyone found out louis cK was jacking off i mean not i'm not trying to compare because that's sexual you present yourself as this person and then you aren't and as that's your whole persona I feel like that's like jarring for a lot of people whereas Chelsea Handler she wasn't she didn't do anything

really mean like she was never she just wasn't polite but people are like yeah yeah what do you think you're gonna get? I almost I feel like there's two types of famous people there's like the Mariah Carey's where you're like yeah no shit she's a huge diva but you know what that's Mariah Carey

she's probably a bitch and that's okay she owns it but then someone like then you hear the people that you've looked up to you forever and you're like, wait, they didn't tip their weight staff? Oh, no. The tipping thing bothers me because I'm like, you don't have to be nice to tip someone. You can just, you don't even have to be polite, but you have enough money where you could just make it all okay being rude to a waiter by giving them 40%. Because you can afford to do that. So tipping is always, I had a boss who was a big, he was a big director and producer, and he was so cheap

with that stuff. And it just really bothered me because I was, you have so much money. You bought the house next door to you. And now you're trying to, it just felt that's to me is a grossest thing because and then they vote. It's funny how it's, I don't know, as someone who worked for like minimum wage for so long or free as an intern, it just felt. So they really know how to take advantage. What were you doing in L.A. and how long were you there? So I went to USC. So that's why I went out there. Oh, nice. And then, Trojans. Hell yeah.

Yeah, I didn't buy my way in if anyone's wondering. You were not a rower? No, I was not. You were honest. You were like, I can't row. I'm not even going to pretend I can. Yeah. But there were a lot of people I feel like at USC where I was like, yeah, this person for

sure brought their way in. But then, so then I stayed out there because I was doing stand-up and just trying to be an actress and a stand-up out there. But then my manager was in New York. And he was like, you'll get so much better if you moved to New York. And I was working at Cycle House. Oh, yeah. So I was like, yeah, I think it's time for me to leave.

I was sleeping under the desk when I was checking. I would check people in and then sleep during the class under the desk. Oh, my God. And I was like, I'm too old to be doing this. I need to spread my wings and get out of L.A. I also met with an agent who was, he was at Players Talent Club. and he told me that I was a I looked fatter than my headshot and a lot older and I'd been taken like six months ago and uh I cried in the parking lot of a McDonald's after getting

a McFlurry like I was so sad and I was like I need a McFlurry after being called fat and then I was like yeah I got to get out of this fucking place I don't even know how SoulCy works it scares me the whole cultish vibe like I want a real cult I don't want like a health cult health cults are fucking weird yeah that's how it felt because cycle house was a TV show. They're a reality show, I guess. Oh. And I didn't even know about it.

So, but the people that worked there kind of thought they were celebrities because they were on TV for a season. Reality TV people are the worst. I mean, no. It's funny. I, last year I was when I was at South Island, it was the first time I had cable when I was sitting at a hotel and I watched Summer House like the whole time. Oh my God.

I like never assume people watch it because it's not like, it's become. coming mainstream, but it wasn't like last year. What'd you think of it? A lot of drama, but is that real? Is that real? Is it a real drama? It's all real. This season, I was really scared last, my first season, because you just hear all these terrible stories and, like, you just afraid that your whole identity is going to be ruined because

of, like, one drunk night, you do something stupid. And this season, I was just a little messier, and I got involved in a lot more shit and just didn't care. And, like, this season's better for me, but I'm, like, dealing with my first ever like intense Twitter hate and like people just calling you like insane attacking your character like they know you and it's been wild and I'm kind of like you know what I'm getting my reality TV street cred you know yeah you're famous is what that that's all I hear I do feel like whenever I hate someone on a or like they don't hate you know what I mean

whenever I'm like I don't if I'm going to say something me I would never also type so far as typing something that you're upset with someone that you're. you don't know, you have problems. That's what. Yes. It's like none of my friends are on Twitter, like, tweeting at random reality TV people telling them that, like, they're shitty people and stuff like that because of, like, one scene that something was edited in.

Yeah, that's just someone that's such, it's, people are so stupid. I mean, people say shit to me all the time on Twitter. They'll DM me. A guy DM me last night. He was like two months or two months ago, he was. like you're so funny keep doing your thing and then last night i didn't respond and then last time he goes hey we get it you're sexual now shut the fuck up and this is just and it was like i don't know what to say people are just like dude just because your wife doesn't want to fuck you doesn't mean

you have to attack me in my dms a producer told me something that was good like life advice in general especially for comedians and any in any career is that like if you get too high off of like people saying they love you and stuff then you will get way too low when people say that you're a shitty person. Like if you let these people affect your emotions in a positive or negative way, that's not a way to live life. And you can't let it get to your head

and be like, I am fucking amazing because Dory, Dory again, because Stephanie in Utah told me. It's like, no, just be yourself and shut up. Yeah, that's kind of how, I mean, and if you think about it, like even going back to Ellen, so many people, there's a thread on there. She probably knows it's out there.

She probably doesn't give a shit. Maybe she does, but I feel like she's never coming out by saying, oh, I'm sorry or this and that. Because she just does not seem to give a shit or just ignores it. Yeah. And her life seems to be pretty chill. Yeah. And if you, it's like in comedy, if you care too much about bombing, you can't survive. Like, you have to almost embrace the bomb.

Yeah. No, totally. And I mean, I care what people think of me just because that's, but yesterday I felt like, like, I feel like I had a post bomb and I was sitting thinking about it for like three hours. And I'm like, okay, the palming of the post is now it makes me a loser. The fact that I've thought about this for three hours. And then I was like this guy who I've been like friends with for years, but we've been like romantically involved because it's like love after lockup. We just haven't seen anyone.

Yep. And I was like, is he just not going to call me today? Because I hadn't heard from him. I'm like, is it because that post bombed? Like it's like so in my head. But that's insane. I hate if I'm like involved with some kind of guy in comedy too Because you'll immediately be like

He doesn't think I'm funny anymore He thinks I'm a hack And honestly every time I've ever been with someone who's in comedy I'm like I think the same thing And I'm like oh wait he's never definitely never thought it was a funny Because I'm a female in comedy That's just be out the window Like I was never funny

I can date in comedy anymore And I shouldn't have to begin with Yeah I feel like to male comedians are very jealous I mean we're all jealous Anyone who does this get jealous I get jealous but I do feel like male comedians have a hard time

They'll justify someone's success Based on how they got it Or like they'll use it Or whatever they got They'll use whatever they have going for them against them So it's like oh she gets that Because she posts this photo on Instagram It's like well you could post something

That people if they stay for the comedy Because you're a white man So we're even Yeah, that's how I feel. I'm like, whatever. I'm reading this book called, well, when I say I'm reading, I mean, I bought it on Amazon. It's called How to Date Men When You Hate Men. So here we are.

Are you sober now? I am. Good for you. How long have you been? Since October. That's awesome. Yeah, it's been good. I just felt like my life was so crazy in the sense of I just kept, my friends are getting married.

I just kept ruining weddings, you know, and I was like, I need to. But this is not my day. Do you have a particular wedding that you hit rock bottom at? Oh, yeah. Of course. Let's do it. Well, so I was in this wedding. It was like a family friend.

We grew up that they grew up next door to us. And I was a bridesmaid. And my parents were there. It was my mom's birthday. And we had been drinking since 8 a.m. And they were like, oh, we're going to serve you lunch and breakfast and lunch. And the family whose wedding it is, they don't believe in food. So there was really no food.

I'm blaming it on a lot of factors. I was fully drinking heavily. And then I popped like a 50 milligram bivance at some point. Things got wild. I switched to tequila sodas at like 2.30. And so is anyone like hanging with you? Are you on your own like train of drunkness? Like do you have a friend that's like in it with you?

Yeah. Everyone was pretty in it with me till the end. Because I just, I don't know what happened. There was a moment. The guy who I walked down the aisle with, I had just met him. He was late, so I met him as we were about to walk down the aisle. And then he just started being very flirty, and I was getting so hammered. And we went to the reception, maybe 10 minutes.

And then I left to go back to his hotel. Was it near, or did you have to get in an Uber? It was near. But the hotel was at a four seasons, which is where I was staying with my parents. And he was at the Marriott next door. And my mom was like, the fact that you left for the Marriott. That was the most offensive part about it. You left to go to a Marriott?

Family friends wedding to like fuck a guy the rest of the night. Yeah. And then I came back at the end of the wedding and started eating cake with my hands. And my mom was crying. And my dress was covered in. I don't know what. And so I woke up the next morning to get on a train because this was in Baltimore to go back to New York.

And I felt like the worst person in the world. I was like, I am such a fucking slut loser. And I don't mean to slut shame anyone. Like, it doesn't matter. But I felt very out of control in the sense of it was my mom's birthday. My whole family was there. Yeah. I should have really kept it together.

What's funny is if you had done that. In just a different kind of wedding, like no one would have known when you left. Your friends might have high-fived you when you got back, but it was like the situation that made it shameful to you. Exactly. Yeah. It was, yeah, my friends who were at the wedding, I texted my friend who got married an apology because I was like, I'm so embarrassed.

I'm so sorry. She was, and I didn't even know you were gone. I was so laughed. Like, no one gave a shit but my mom. And it did, but it did feel like, okay, maybe I should just, maybe not forever. just a while, just kind of get my figured out. And there's something about like you do your own thing and then you're back in a situation with your parents and you almost feel like you're getting scolded like when you're a little

kid again and you're like, I had all these hopes and dreams and now I'm in a Marriott with, I don't know his name. You have one of those like you look onto yourself where you're just like, this isn't what little Hannah wanted. I know this literally I woke up the next day like my dad couldn't look at me. my brother was like you're so embarrassing it was just like I see my brother owns

my parents own this like disaster cleanup company and my brother has a franchise of that and he's very successful and he has a girlfriend and he lives in a house that he bought and then I'm like talking about dicks on stage and then going to a wedding and leaving early and I'm like yeah I need to not do this no I feel like a lot of female comics

have a similar story where like I have a brother too and he's like a financial engineer I don't even know at Bloomberg and he has yeah he is hot actually I'm like why I'm slutty sober you know what I mean yeah same but he he is engaged to this girl he men in college like who meets we he went to the universe of Wisconsin where I went but he like met someone she moved to New York they have an apartment together a cat they're engaged the wedding's coming up and my mom introduces him as the normal one but my his girlfriend's a nurse at the NICU like

with she saves like infants that are born and my dad's like genie saved a dying baby today what did you do post a fucking tweet about dicks i'm like yes i did it and it was a good one fucking killed on the internet all right don't ever ask to be in part of my ticot again dad actually i need you for likes come back come back please um now i want to get a little more into you clearly i haven't been able to talk to anyone for a while so i just wanted to talk at you for a bit But first of all, we're going to get right into the important questions. Why did your parents spell your name without an H at the end? That's a great question.

Thank you. I asked myself that every day. Okay, so first of all, they almost named me Bell, which is the scariest thing because my last name is Dickinson. So it's like, I don't need Dick and Bell in the same name. I was like, what? My mom was like, yeah, we were really close. And I was like, thank fucking God.

because I would be a porn star earlier than I'll end up being one now. And then they read a book and the name Hannah didn't have an age and they liked the way that looked. But it's been confusing at times because people are like, I try to find your thing but I can't

and they spell my name wrong. It is, I guess, nice to be... It's not even unique. It's just inconvenient. Do you know how much time you must save though by not having to write an age at the end of your name? I do love that.

Yeah. I love visually that my name's a palindrome, but I still have to, everyone goes, is there an H at the end? And I just say yes, and you say no. Yeah, it's so similar, but so different. They go, I'll get mad. Yeah, they're like, wait, your name's not a palindrome. That sucks.

What? That is so fucking funny. I also think H-A-N-A is pretty. It's like a more Japanese or something. I've seen it. Like, H-A-N-A is cute to me. but oh yeah maybe i should have just yeah change it i was like should i just legally change it back with an age with the end it was funny my friend the other day was like her friend from texas thought

you you were her friend she got excited and my friend was like no no no hannah dickens it without it with that mh and she's like ah never mind i was like yeah all right well you're like just wait i feel like you'd be good on reality tv So I auditioned for The Bachelor. Oh, how'd it go? I mean, not great. I wasn't on it, but it's, he was like, you'd be like a character on the show and I was like, that feels rude. He'd want you to show up in the shark outfit.

Yeah, exactly. Like, in a bubble. Just like something crazy. And I was, he said, do you really want to, he said the Bachelor, he said that he knew I was, he knew I was a comic and Stephanie was like you'll have to lie about your job you know how they have weird jobs yeah it's because they're actors and they can't say they're actors so they make up something funny oh yeah and uh that's a fun fact yeah I'm like chicken handler really dog petter yeah exactly I'm like this is uh they hire writers for that show actually

that's amazing but then I just thought I I'm bad at dating off camera and I'm I was such a heavy drinker for a while. I knew that I would just fall into the pool. You were a pretty fun person to look up because I did research on you. I didn't click on the story because I didn't want it to be spoiled. But can you tell me your tattoos and kind of the situation behind him? Because you said on Comedy Central that like every tattoo was a mini mental breakdown in New York City. And I want the audience to understand that. Yeah. I've always I've been like a big fan of tattoos, which is a weird thing. I've always wanted one. I think it's because my mom hates them so much. A part of me is like, I grew up thinking if you have a tattoo, you own a motorcycle or have AIDS or both. That was the way my family was raised or my mom. My mom's very scary. She's very nice, but she's very scary. And so I, yeah, when I moved to New York, I got dumped in a park. That was my first experience in New York. Because I didn't really have friends when I moved here. And it's kind of hard to make friends. comedy because it feels like everyone's like well you know they do their own thing and just as an

adult to move and make friends feels impossible yeah and so i got dumped in a park by this guy who told me that his ex-girlfriend was a lawyer and his girlfriend before that was in med school and i was like okay like i also have pretty rich parents so i think you're like cool and my pussy's pop in so yeah what's the problem you're like my parents are rich bitch yeah what more do you want for me. They're not. I shouldn't say that because they're really not. But I'm like drinking a diet Coke with it. They could be. They could be rich. Yeah. Yeah. They have the potential. I used to do that with I date like guys who are losers and my mom will be like, what are you doing? And I'm like, his parents could be rich. And she's like, are they? And I'm like, I don't know yet, but they could be. And I would

like fantasize that he has some like really rich parents. He didn't. He didn't. Well, that's what you have to hang on to when you date losers. I'd do that as well. I'm like, he probably has a big dick, and then I hold out for like 20 minutes. And I'm like, he doesn't. I got to go. So you get dumped in the park, which is a great dumping place. I've done it before, too, because it's not like in a restaurant or in a apartment.

It's a very, like, public space that you could, like, go your separate ways after. It was very odd because we had only been on a few dates. And I, it wasn't going while the third one. And I was like, oh, I just need to get out of here. And then we'll just go to each other. That's what I assume. Yeah, but you want to sit down and talk about it. And he was like, we have just, we just have different interests.

And I was like, is this because I just said I love hot dogs like that, I think was when he was like, yeah, I just got to end this. I won't keep throat a hot dog for free on camera at a time of the day. Yeah, same. I've always like, I'm starting in only fans, just me deep throating hot dogs. Oh, I fully have a video of me deep throating a bunless hot dog. I also kind of I'm like so pro ghosting as then I feel like some of these guys think they're like being good by after two fucking terrible dates that you're not even into to be like hey I just want to tell you that I've gotten to know you and I don't like what I see I'm like I don't need that I don't like either you fucking fuck like yeah let's go to each other like normal people yeah when he's like you're not successful enough for me you're like bro you're going to be watching me on TV the rest of your life shut the fuck up Yeah, you guys just put that fire under your ass and then like send him clips of you from like a different account.

it's so yeah i know i always think that i'm like this guy doesn't even know what he just passed up on but then like i can't get an audition for like anything and i'm like all right maybe this guy was on something no but that guy clearly sucks he sucks yeah they passed for you on the vagicilk commercial um but this guy's gonna pay no he his apartment was sick i still have a video of it i took a video of it when he was in the bathroom because it's it was sick what did he do He worked at a hedge fund There's a bazillion of him out there On to the next one

What tattoo did you get? Oh, so I got relaxed written on my wrist Because I went to a Laney concert Do you know Lainey? Yeah I don't really know them either I feel like I said that because I wanted to feel cool

It says relax I don't know why I'm showing I guess it doesn't have to It's fine It's cursive on my wrist I got it alone after the concert Um, who'd you go the concert with? My friends from high school were visiting New York to see this concert and we went and got

pretty lit and then there was a tattoo shot on my way home and it was calling your name. Yeah, I was like, you know what? I'm going to get relaxed right on my wrist because that's going to remind me to relax. But I've never looked at it and been like, okay, yeah, I need to calm down. I know. Yeah, it's like our bodies are not refrigerators to put postists on to be like pick up groceries tomorrow like yeah leave it alone so then you're what's your next tattoo so and then i went on a first date with a guy who's an australian and dangerous dangerous i know and i just been dumped in

miami by this guy who i really thought i was in love with and i just needed a man to commit to me i think i really just needed that so we're drinking and he has weird tattoos on his body it's small he has his friend's wedding date on his body i'm like why that's that's bad it was just he his tattoos maybe were worse worse than mine it was like dates that had nothing to do with his life i don't like their anniversary is not any of your business i'm like how are you going about our anniversary when their anniversary is on your fucking chest on the heart part right exactly you're fucking this up for us um and then i was like oh let's let's go get tattoos a joke and he was like okay and we met at the bar smith and mills and we're like what do we get

because we don't really know each other so we were going to get smith and mills but that's too long so we got s and m but you thought it was like ironic like s and m yeah we thought it was funny yeah and it so mine's under my right boob and his is a little more side but it's kind of under his right boob too so um yeah we both have boob tattoos that say s and m so were you like sitting there and this you guys hadn't even kissed yet or anything not even kissed not even touched hands what happened after so he he he I was like I got to go home and he was like what I was like yeah I got to go you're like you think I'm spontaneous but I have to be up early okay that's basically what I said. I was like, yeah. And I think he was a little thrown up because I had just

got that tattoo. And then I was like, see you later. You know, to get S&M with someone and then not even kiss them is insane. Yeah, you got to keep him on his toes. I like this game playing you're doing. Oh, yeah. And we still talk as friends, but he's a little, I don't know, he, he said things to me. We were friends. And then he was like, you know, you'd be the hottest girl I banged if I lost, if you lost 10 pounds. Oh, my God. And I was like, well, maybe that's an Australian thing. It's just they don't understand that that's extremely rude.

You're like, just because you sounded hot while you said it doesn't make it less hurtful. I know. I was like, is that mean? Because the accent makes it sound okay, but I don't think it is. So where are you finding these guys on dating apps? Yeah. Yeah. I think as comics were pretty good with, like, the talk.

and the banter but then the rest is difficult exactly people are like wow you're so interesting and then we go on a day and they're like too interesting maybe not interesting is not the word I also like have a schick I love being mean and if you're not like spitting it back at me I get very bored and I probably have offended so many people and it's like I just want to be playful and if you can break through that I'll be like I'll be affectionate sometimes I'm the same way It's very hard for me to just I don't know how girls are just so sweet for no reason like they don't deserve to get the sweet side of you on a date like oh my god thanks this is so nice. You look so handsome. I like your shirt. Yeah. That's like I don't get how girls are just so friendly up top. And it's not me being mean. It's just like I'm like I get so nervous and I have such bad anxiety that I either don't talk or I. I. People are always like, oh, I didn't think you liked me when I first met you.

I'm like, I just, like, am so afraid of saying something embarrassing that I just, like, don't speak. That's so funny because I just have, you know what it's called the kind of cognitive replacement therapy or something where you just, like, do what you're scared of? Like, I just am the opposite where I'll just embarrass myself, like, immediately in front of people and then be like, okay, it wasn't that bad. We met at the stand once, and I remember, like, I wasn't shutting up and you were pretty quiet. And I remember thinking, like, I don't know how she feels about me. Like, I remember thinking that. No, it was so funny because I was just going to say, when I first met you, you were so nice. And I was so like, I was just like, I don't know.

I was very, I was very envious because I was like, I don't know how to just be so open and nice. Oh, my God. But so funny because I remember you were quiet. And I remember being like, she's focused. She is taking her set seriously. And I just have to respect that. And I'm not shutting up. And she's probably annoyed at me.

She's probably like, oh, that girl's talking when I'm trying to, like, think of my set right now or something. No, I was, like, fully like, I, Andrew Casertano was sitting with us, too. Yeah. And he was like, oh, you're leaving? Shit, I don't, maybe I should go for a walk or something. He gets so nervous, too. So he was, like, I was literally, like, wanting to offend you guys so bad. Like, he looks so cute.

And I already, like, knew you off Instagram. So I already, like, had a crush on you. And you guys were, like, not really joining the conversation. I was like, they hate me. But you know what? I tried. I embarrassed myself all the time. Why is this time any different?

Oh, no. My manager, he called me. He was Hannah, I want to say you have for generals, but I got to be honest, you are not great with first impression. He's like, I can't send you into a room and you just be like, uh-huh. Okay. What? Like, and I'm like, okay, I'm trying to bust out of my bubble.

I tried to do hypnotherapy for a while. Oh, wow. Because I was, I get so nervous. Like, after the first time I meet someone, it's okay. But literally the first time I meet people, I just get so, I don't know what it is. I think it's, I just get so nervous. So I feel like I like people like you because you're like a cat to me where like you don't just warm up to anyone.

Like I need to earn your affection, which again is my own issues. Like my friend Paige on Summerhouse is the same way. Like she is like, she's really pretty and she has a little bit of resting bitch face. And she's like painfully shy when you first meet her. And everyone's like Paige hates me. page is a bitch and I'm like no she was probably just super anxious and nervous so like it's it's so interesting to talk to you because like you didn't look nervous or anxious at all you just looked like kind of like bored with the conversation I think I was hungry too and uh lens that's the whole

thing yeah hunger changes the game hunger you could literally murder someone I'll be like she was hungry it's fine well because also it wasn't my food so I felt very awkward because this is like fully But I was thinking, I was like, well, this is their food. So I don't want to seem like I'm like part of this crew and just start eating their food. I don't know who's paying for this. And I don't want to be that girl who's like, yeah, she just came in the party and just started eating food. And you know if you ask people have to say yes.

Yeah, exactly. Like that girl, fucking ate our pizza. What the fuck. Yeah, exactly. I was like. And you're not about to buy like a $20 meal. Uh-huh. Those are my thoughts.

Exactly. And I'm like, yeah, I also like talk about wanting to be skinnier. or so if I eat this pizza, they're going to be like, oh, she wants to be skinnier, but she's going to go out and eat our pizza. I love this inner monologue that you were having while I'm in my own world being like, okay, let's just try to all get along. Come on, guys, what's have fun? I'm going to go cry.

I'm going to cry tonight. Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year? I wouldn't say anything as a failure, especially because we all grow every day. Obviously, the goal is a championship. that's, there's no doubt in that and that's the goal. We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key

matchups and standout players to the behind the scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus exclusive interviews with the games, brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted. But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way and we're hoping to, you know, make it run. So listen to In case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHeart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever

you get your podcast. Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year? I wouldn't say anything as a failure, especially because we all grow every day. Obviously, the goal is a championship. There's no doubt in that, and that's the goal. We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here, and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have.

For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus, excuse me. exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted. But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way. And we're hoping to, you know, make it run. So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHeart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

When was the first time you've realized you of bad anxiety? I think, um... I've, uh, maybe high school is when it really started because I felt like I, I was very confident in sixth grade and people were like, okay, you need to like shut up. Like you're very loud and annoying. And in seventh grade, I had no friends. And, uh, girls made fun of me because I was like annoying. Yeah. And I was very theatery. It wasn't a singer. So that saved me. But I was very, I guess, obnoxious as a kid. Yeah. Yeah. I needed Adderall, basically. And, and people were just so mean that it made me. so nervous to really just, this sounds so sad, but like it just made me so nervous for the rest of my life because I, I felt like so, I think middle school was like very, I'm like, that's how you know I'm privileged. I'm like, middle school was very hard for me. But it makes sense. If the action caused that response, you're naturally going to be scared of that action. Like if you being silly and yourself was causing people to have negative emotions towards you, it's human nature to be scared of it.

Yeah, it's, I felt like that's, and now I'm on Zoloft and stuff, so that helps. But I've also felt like, um, I didn't, I didn't get my period. So this might be a lot until I was like, you know, 10th or 11th grade. It was very late. And I always felt like I've been called a late bloomer like my whole life. And I never really know what that mean, but I just knew girls got like hotter and I didn't. So I felt very insecure about that. And then I didn't get into a sorority my first year of college.

And I ended up doing one that was like not even a good one. second year but but that makes sense if you're bad at first impressions it makes sense because yeah i got rejected from every sorority you literally just have to be friendly and that's like your one biggest fear when meeting people i know i got my like bid thing back the second day and had nothing on it and i was like wait what and my first like yeah you're not that nice like that's super traumatizing that's but it's also so stupid so how did you turn this like kind of feel like an outcast kind of feeling like quieting yourself down to them be like i want my voice to be heard by the world yeah that's a good point um it does feel like quite a jump i made like everybody hates me

but like they all have to listen to me um no i feel because i feel like like i was kicked out of tennis camp in elementary school for being um annoying and i feel like my if i channel it into comedy and it's like okay to be an appropriate in comedy like it's okay to say these things Yeah. It's more freeing in the sense of, well, that's what I'm here to do is be annoying a little bit and I say things that are not, you can't say in conversation. Yeah. So it does, in a weird way, feel the most free I can be?

Because, like, in a business setting, you have to watch what you say around my parents. So many filters. Yeah, so many filters. And on stage, it's like you don't have to have a filter. I'm annoying as well. As you can tell. Yeah, I'm annoying. like my brother thinks I'm the most annoying person on the planet so it's like I when I was able to put it back on stage then when you go back into real life you realize like we're not appropriate people like I'll be at like a dinner with my family and like other people and I'll say something super inappropriate but funny and you just realize like we're not meant for this normal world of like you ever hear a normal person conversation you're just like how did you survive that like what is going on in your head?

heads like why could you not just say how you're really feeling or like call someone out on their bullshit in a funny way like we've comedy like enables our forward weird thinking brains and it's fun but then like we're not okay to be put back in society and that's why I think dating is hard for us too oh 100% like yeah conversation is hard normal conversation is hard no I feel the exact same way because women are just so taught to not take up space so I kind of love that you're like oh you guys didn't want me in your fucking sorority didn't want me as a friend fuck you guys because i'm here and i'm big and i'm going to be heard and people love it some you know they still get the negative comments as well some people are like not into it

at all what's your worst habit oh man how to narrow that down um i feel i pick my hair a lot yeah i play with my hair yeah i play with my eyelashes a lot it's really bad you pull them no but i just like organize them does that make sense like i i need them all to be like separated like i can't have them like in clumps or like near my eyeball interesting it's an anxiety thing yeah i used to pull out my eyebrows for a while so i don't have the end of this eyebrows so i was pointing that out and then i i pull my hair yeah i had it's a very bad tick and i looked it up and it is a disease associated with anxiety trick telomania right we've had we've had that on the podcast you're don't worry you fit right in oh great um was the girl who

you interviewed how was her hair it was when she was younger and she's like since recovered from it i think there's a lot of great recovery stories but like she had like one girl had like lost her hair in middle school like it was just done or one like kind of has a spot that she always picks at um but yeah it really is just coping with with anxiety and that's like you your comfort. Yeah, it does feel, because I, my friend, a couple, my guy friend, who's a comedian in L.A., he's like, in his 40s and he'll always, I call him dad because he'll always like, Hannah, stop with the hair, stop with the hair. Oh, wait, hey on people do it to me. They say, Hannah, stop with the eyelashes. And I'm like, it's OCD. You think I want to do this?

Yeah, exactly. I'm like, yeah, this is not, I'm not doing this because it's like fun for me. sitting here in my mind like going fucking insane so what's your biggest insecurity physically physically my stomach your stomach yeah yeah and i also feel like instagram is so fucking annoying right now because i have a theory that girls are removing their bottom rib what i have a theory like you know these bodies that you just haven't seen before like the way they're like like Kendall Jenner's body is or Kylie Jen, like it goes in in a way that's not natural. I think people are removing their ribs.

I'm starting that. I'm starting it. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if that's true because of all the shit. I just don't, I do believe that. But I also, that does seem insane. Insane. That you would take out your rib. Yeah.

It was a big, big piece of gossip I just dropped. Well, my first thought, sick fucking thought, was like, oh, I wonder how much that is. The thing with that hell always helped me with like with body fat in your stomach was that like when I feel like I'm gaining a little weight, my mom was always like it's because you're a woman. And like as a woman, you need weight to have your period. Like you're given that extra like little, you know, puff around your belly button because you're a woman and it's hormones. or whenever I feel like I'm gaining weight I'm like oh it's because I'm I'm premenstrual and it's like the first week after my period no same I'm like you know the first the first two weeks before and after I'm not great on it so this is just uh just kind of like a period thing I also think that during the pandemic it's hard like I've been eating ice cream every night because my parents have it and like that's what they do and I just kind of so much of it is I think just being nice to ourselves during it and like I talked to a therapist about it once, and just how, like, I feel like I gained weight and I felt so bad. And she's like, why do you have to have an eight pack?

Yeah. And it was like an interesting question. But you have, like, a very good body. Thank you. I mean, I'm naturally athletic, but, like, you know, like, when your body's looking, like, healthy versus, like, your little pest where you want to be. But it was true. I'm a perfectionist. So I was like, I feel bad.

And she's like, why the fuck do you have to be perfect? It's funny because I was going to say. When I saw you on Summer House, the thing that I, if I was going to say, didn't like about you was that you were drinking so much and you were so thin and had such a good body. I was like, how do you drink that much and you still have a good body? I was like, this is not fair. I love you so much because people who talked about the show, they'll always be like, Hannah, you are the most relatable one?

I'm like, I call me ugly. I say I'm the ugly one. No, I think it's just because you were so honest and like you didn't seem that invested in any of the drama the episodes I saw and you were just kind of like doing your own thing and drinking which is usually me at a party. I'm like, all right, I'll just crack another one. Yeah, I didn't have like too many storylines going on and I wasn't going to like try to force something. So I was just like, well, I'm going to jump in the pool and get in trouble because my mic is on. When was the last time you were depressed? I feel like I honestly struggle with it pretty often. I get very depressed.

pretty frequently, which is, yeah, I get very, I feel a lot of guilt about things that I've done in my life. Even if it's small, I just will be like, oh, I'm so embarrassed or, you know, whatever of something I've done. And then I get sad that life ends at the same time. So I'm like scared about the future and sad about the past. That's literally anxiety and depression. Depression's about the past anxiety is about the future yeah and you're have you have a like little tornado moment yeah i think i had one um two days ago sunday was a pretty rough day just because it felt i felt i felt i still felt sunday anxiety even though it's been the same every day i feel it's onset anxiety because you almost are like i should feel anxiety about should i have to do this week but there's

like not a lot happening and i'm mad about that it's also like so much is out of your control so if you're like a type a person it's the perfect cocktail to get depressed i feel like what's really helped me is just changing how i speak to myself in those moments that that are like kind of why did you do that hand that was embarrassing to instead be like softer to yourself and it really it's like it's really just a conscious decision to just be like you know what it's okay that you didn't do that or it's okay you said that stupid thing it's okay and that's what my brother said too after the wedding when i was a blackout mess he called me and he was like Hannah you know what you're not an alcoholic by the sense of because I don't drink every night like it wasn't like I was constantly going on a bender constantly

and I still I guess a functional alcoholic is one a New Yorker is how I prefer to call it but he said you talk shit about yourself so much on stage and so much in these videos because it's all self-deprecating and I think you need to be nicer to yourself because then it gives you more anxiety and I do agree that of talking to your side. It's just so hard. I always say on this podcast, realizing that that voice is not you. That voice is like middle schoolers who talk shit about you when you were a kid or like your parents when they were down on you. Those are the negative voices. And you can, if you note it like this is an anxiety thought or depression thought, not this is me. Then you start separating. And I think that was like my biggest hurdle to overcome that I'm still working on.

But it's so helpful. Yeah, I need your therapist. I have two more questions Then we're going to play a final game But these are like these are fun Do you have a hunch of how you will die? That's so funny Because I do think about that often I always imagine I'm going to get hit by something

But I hope it's old age I hope Yeah maybe you can get hit by old age Yeah exactly Hit hard I just want to I want to go out Notebook style you know With the man of my dreams

Holding me in his arm oh and you not really knowing what his name is but he's hot yeah exactly um if you went to a psychic what would you want to know about your future i guess i just want to know i always i go to psychics um and i'm always like when will i be financially stable enough where i'm not constantly worried about it and also when am i getting married you're like when my parents get richer and then i can tell a guy how rich my parents are exactly why can i try Papa guy with my parents' money. So do you go to last psychics?

I used to, but then I started having anxiety about it because I just feel like if something, actually some have been pretty spot on about my life because I didn't think I was going to move to New York as a last minute decision, but the psychic I met in Chicago was like, you're going to move across the country in the fall. And I was like, no, I'm not. And then I like literally two months later met my manager and left within two months. Like it was not it's crazy she like said all this stuff and she's like your first job is She's like, is going to be, she's like, do you do, like, performing or something?

And she's like, okay, it's not acting. What's another thing? And I was like, writing. She's like, yeah, it's going to be that. And then my first job was a writing job. So, and I tried to audition for the show, comedy knockout didn't get the show, but they made me a writer. There's just like weird stuff like that that I was like, wow, that one was pretty spot on. I love when, like, failing at something opens up something else.

That's how I feel about breakups, too. It's like you'll never meet the next one if you stayed with the guy you thought was right for you. I just want to say that you would have been great as Miley's best friend in Hannah Montana. Thank you. I agree. So you, okay, is it on your Instagram or something? It says that you auditioned for the role of Hannah Montana's best friend. Yes.

What happened? I did John Robert Powers, which is a pyramid scheme for acting for children. And they basically, like, you pay them a bunch of money and you get in front of casting directors in Virginia. But they came down from, you know, they come from L. in New York. And I guess they really do. And this guy, I like did this like commercial read for him. And then he sent me the script to be the friend, Lily. And that was like I did this self tape and I think I still love the script. It was like my biggest Hollywood moment. And it's the biggest audition I've literally ever been on. So honestly, I could see it. Like he was good. I don't even remember what the girl is, but you would have been a good, a good one. Thanks. They gave it to that guy, the Sixth Sense sister. the guy in six cents oh that's his sister they do look alike yeah Emily Joel Usment yeah she had connections fuck that yeah that's it's it was political that's why I didn't get it my acting was flawless yeah you're a hundred percent I could see that I can feel that um

it's time to play her final game the seven deadly sins hell yeah What are you greedy about? I think I'm greedy about comedy. Like I want all the spots. I want to get everything. And at the end of the day, it's like there, we all should get stuff. Like I shouldn't be jealous of other people. You know what I mean?

Yeah, like a law of abundance. Like there's enough for everyone and like we can all be great. Yeah, no, totally. And I think it's, I know that and I am happy for people totally. but a part of me does feel like, I wish that was me. And I'm trying to really let go of that because it's not, it's just an ego thing

and an agreed thing. It's not anything that I actually mean. I liked something you said in one of your interviews where you were based, yeah, I did a lot of research this morning. You were like, I want to be so different from everyone else that like it's just not comparable. Like you can't even compare it because you're so uniquely yourself. And if you compare yourself to other people,

then you're doing yourself a disservice because you're like, making comparisons when you shouldn't be able to do that. And I feel like I did that for so long. And I'm like, it doesn't matter. They're not me. And I'm never going to be that person. And it's great that they have success. Yeah.

But so, yeah, I'm trying. And then I see Instagram and I'm like, God damn it, these bitches are crawling with followers. And then I'm like, do I need to lose weight? Is this the issue here? And then I'm like, no, it always goes back to your weight. It always goes back to my weight. and Instagram. Those are like my two biggest upsets. Also, I feel like someone taught, I had a guest talk about how money, there's like a law of abundance where like the more you spend actually the more

you make. And I think the same thing comes with like success where like the more you root for other people and like have positivity towards them, the more like it comes back and you are successful is like my theory on it. Oh, totally. I think that when you, yeah when you help other people and they'll help not but you should never be like i'm helping this person so maybe they help me but it's just if you try to be especially in comedy if you just try to be like i'm it i'm the thing you're never gonna that's so that's like no one wants to be around that yeah it always comes back around even if like you put someone on a show and they don't put you on theirs there's going to be a moment where someone brings up your name that person's going to be

like oh yeah i did a show she's cool like it's the comedy dude it's such a small world if you fuck one person over. I feel like everyone knows and you get fucked. Oh yeah. I feel like that's what happened to Dane Cook is that he was this big asshole and then he didn't have much. And people, I don't know, his career didn't really. I just, Dane Cook was a dick to me one time. And I'm like, yeah, that's what happens. What did he do? I saw my, he was eating dinner with my friend at a diner. I was very new in comedy. And I was like, hey, what's up? And he was like, oh, hey, I'm meeting my friend Dane and Dane was sitting down and he was like, Dan is my friend

Hannah and he goes, okay, yeah, great. Well, we're just kind of having our own meal. No. I was like, okay. Like, I do not. No. And this was like four or five years. It wasn't even at Dane Cook's Prime. I was just like, I don't give a shit

about like your itchy asshole joke, Dan Cook. Also, I saw him at the Laugh Factory last year. and when I saw he was in the lineup I was like interesting and some guy was like just opening and he was like okay whatever no one knew who he was and he didn't bomb he didn't kill and then dane cook comes on after and like makes fun of him and I'm like really you're gonna make fun to the opener like your dane cook shut up like he was like wow was that supposed to be funny ha ha and I'm like are you supposed to be funny right now yeah what's the fuck yeah it's shit like that and he like runs the light a lot he just he he was banned for i don't know whatever so where was he banned from the laugh factory for like a year because he ran the light on everyone he would do like 45 minutes to an hour at a time shut up yeah and then they banned him

and the comedy store doesn't put him up because they don't like him wow maybe he is past there i don't think he is though i remember the comedy store being like and dang cook's not really a cup of tea Wow, I love the tea we're getting right now. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't say this. I don't know, but maybe he is past, like, I forget, but there is, he's just a dick. Yeah. We don't know the facts, but we do know how he made us feel. Who, who are you envious of?

I feel like I'm envious of all my friends in a way of just, they, my, like, my one friend lives in Seattle and works in Amazon, and they have a townhouse and a cute dog, and they're getting married in Cancun next year and she, you know, has a Peloton. It just seems so nice to be. And she just seems so happy. But you would go crazy if you were just like living a nine to five life on a peloton at night. Oh, yeah, 100%. But it's just a weird, my friends who are very, their lives are pretty basic and I don't mean it in a mean way, but just very simple and like, wow. that seems like happiness. Yes, and just so satisfied, whereas I feel like even when I have a job of Comedy Central

and I'm like, okay, yeah, but I haven't sold a show. And it's like, okay, relax. Just I keep wanting things so much that eventually, even if I get them, then it's going to be over. So if I don't enjoy it the whole way, then it's just going to be shitty. But it also goes back to our conversation in the beginning where it was like, you can't let the highs and lows affect you so much. like the happiness needs to be just like there regardless, which is hard. But you like, let's talk about the snapshots.

The snapshot. Oh, it's so hard to say. A Snapchat show. You sold it and you killed it. How is the emotions through that? Like, do you feel like you're happier now? That's the thing. Like, no, you know, which sounds terrible because I am happy and I was really proud of

this show and we worked really hard on it. And it was so fun. It was such a fun process. But then I was like, I don't even know who watches Snapchat. I don't know if anyone's going to see it. And then it was that it was just these negative voices that I'm like, even my dad was like, you need to be thankful. And I do.

It's something that's, but it was because when I think back on it, I loved everyone that worked on it. We had such a fun time and everyone was so great. But the negative part of me is like, well, it's not a real show. because it's not full length but I did it did feel like real show filming it like we you know it felt it was a lot of work and we had so much fun but I mean there's a way you can like talk yourself up or down about any situation it's all perspective but it's really rings true that no matter what happens to you you think it'll like make people look at you differently or be different

it's like no you're still the same person so if you haven't like changed how you talk to yourself in your own head like nothing's going to change I wanted to ask you that because I was like, damn, Hannah's on a come up. Like I saw that and I just thought that content was so well done and like you produced it. You're behind it. I just see it as a stepping stone. Like this is proof that you can create such a high quality show. Everyone should watch it.

It's called Get Money. And I think you should be super proud of yourself. Oh, thanks so much. That's so nice to hear. Yes. This is the one time I'm being nice to you. And then I'm like, why do you hate yourself? No.

Yeah. I mean I like even when we were sitting at the table I was very envious of your energy I was like and it wasn't even like just try to match it just trying to engage I was like god damn it I can't do it and then in my head I'm like my energy is annoying I'm too much but I can't stop because I'm on a role now and I can't stop it and yeah but I've gotten this new thing where it's like some people think I'm loud some people will project their own shit on to me but like you just need to find the right people to surround yourself with that when I'm like really myself I'm actually kind of to quiet because I don't feel like I need to prove anything. But the comedy community, I feel like gets that. Like, I feel like so many people are like that. What do you gluttonous about? Like, what's your go-to thing to like binge or just, yeah, be gluttonous about? Well, it used to be alcohol.

And now I guess it's sweet. So I'm like a very, I'm a sweetie. My friends are all like, are you a sweetie or are you a salty? Do you like fries or do you like dessert? And I'm a dessert person. What's your go-to dessert? It really depends on the day, but I do love a good cookie. Yeah.

I like raw cookie dough. Yeah. So you like a crispy cookie or a chewy cookie? Crispy cookie. Okay. Have you tried, what's the Southampton brand? Tates? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm trying to get sponsorship by them. I don't know what for, but those cookies are the shit. Dude, I have the double chocolate. one and it's so buttery and oh i've been eating that i literally i've never been to the hamptons and i just want to go to dates like even just this summer i'm going to take the jitney just to stop it dates dude the second quarantine's over you're on that jitney just to walk in and sniff and snort a cookie the crumbs i just imagine it's going to be like the real life wily wanka and the chocolate factory you know i'm going to walk in and just be like wow this smells uh it has like an incredible

story to that business tates is badass um when was the last time you experienced extreme wrath i get angry i got i get really angry i kind of have i have like quick tempers when they get over it quick which is sounds which is so unlikable i probably did that but because then they're still mad that you got mad and you're like i'm good we're good. They're like, I didn't like that person I saw for three seconds. And you're like, well, she'll be back. Just wait. Yeah, exactly. Like in sixth grade, my boyfriend cheated on me and I found out and I threw ice cream at his head. And it almost hit him in the eye and it could have been really bad. But I was like, get over it. Like, it was fine. I feel like you've had so many

boyfriends and I love it. I've had, I call them my boyfriends because it's like, I don't know. I'm not going to call them like Rick you know but I um they're not really my boyfriends they're just people I feel like guys are this is what I got angry about I have a guy friend who we have romantic involvement and it's always so confusing and then he'll like push it so hard and then as soon as I'm like okay like I do like you he's like whoa this is way too much and that's kind of happening right now in quarantine yeah I have a similar situation where like we clearly like each other and he only wants to talk to me but then whenever there's i personally i'm kind of like over it but then whenever there's a little like like what is this he's like you know how fucked up i am

like you know like my ex and it's like okay grow the fuck up for a second yeah exactly and then yeah it's just it's so frustrating it's and i and i get so mad at him and i'll be like this is just such a if you were my friend you wouldn't even be doing this to me because it's fucked up it's like they're getting your attention when they want it and it's hard because i don't even know if i like guys so if i convince myself that i like you like go with it yeah that's that's me too it takes me so long to like someone and then once i do i like you forever like i really like two guys my whole life and one of them was the start of high school and ended the year after college and this guy it's been like two years. So I'm like, it's going to be another six before I really get over this.

And at first you're like, oh, friendships, this is good. But then it's like, no, are they kind of pushing boundaries that they wouldn't if, because you don't know where the boundaries are? Exactly. It's just so confusing. And then they try to put it back on you like, no, no, that's not what I wanted. It's like, yes, it is. What did you expect me to say to your dick? Like, yeah. And it's also like, do you fucking hear yourself when you talk? Yeah. Also, I saw something on Comedy Central. Did your mom walk in on you having phone sex with him? So, yes.

I exaggerate the story, obviously, but he did. This is when I really was like, maybe I don't like those guys who were having phone sex. And then he was like, I'm going to spank you. I'm sorry. This is like a lot over the phone. This is not. It's fine. This is great.

But he like slapped his stomach as like a sound effect. Okay. And I, I've never laughed so hard. I was like, what did you just do? That was like painful. He was like, yeah, that was too much, huh? It's also weird for a friend who's like a person you like comfort with to be like, I'm going to choose you like a naughty girl and I'm going to hit you so fucking hard.

Oh, I just five starved myself. Oh, I know exactly. That's the thing. He's like, what do you want me to call you? I was like, Hannah, dude, like stop. A lot of these guys are into that stuff, and it's hard when you have a sense of humor to, like, not laugh or say something stupid during it. I know. He's like, call me daddy.

I'm like, I'm not going to call you that. Like, no. There are some people who, like, have a very different identity when it comes to sex. Like, I feel like they're normal. And then the second you're hooking up, they become, like, these monsters or, like, these, like, hypersexual beings. and it freaks me out. I'm like, where's Jonathan? Where did he go? Yeah, no, totally. It's a different side of someone that you just never signed up to see. You're like, this is not who I signed up to sleep with. I'm going to, oh yeah, when was the last time you were a sloth? And we're in quarantine

right now. So that's a loaded question probably. Yeah, that's tough. Because I do feel like every night in New York, every night I didn't have a show or something to do. I didn't, I didn't, I would just lay in my bed same because i i don't because is yeah it's just not i'm so tired and it's so nice to have one or i used to i'm like i'm never canceling plans after this quarantine but i used to just it was so nice to have one night off where i would just like order food and eat my bed and just which is like kind of gross but um i feel like i have one night off a week where i just don't do anything that's amazing it's i try to have at least at least one Um, because it's comedy. You have to be so on all the time. It's important to turn off and just recharge. Oh, 100%. Yeah. When was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something? This is a little tough one. Uh, I feel like, I mean, even last week I was doing, um, I did a video for Comedy Central and they were just like, how about you, like, they put it on their Twitter, but they didn't put it on all their platforms and it like really bothered me. And then my dad was like, shut up. I. Um, shut up. I was like, shut up. Um,

up like people don't have jobs like people are not you know don't let your ego and your pride make you don't let them not their decision on whatever it is whatever their reasons behind it make you upset i guess it wasn't really a decision it stopped but it just made me very angry in a way that was irrational and i was like yeah it's it's my content i can put on my own shit also who cares yeah yeah it's just that perspective But, like, you have a right to be upset, but it's, like, the level of, like, how much you let it ruin your day or week or month or even your year. I'm sorry, made myself laugh. Okay.

When was the last time you lusted over someone? Like, do you have a celebrity crush or just a random story of lust? Oh, my gosh. I ran into Leonardo DiCaprio. He was walking down, like, in Tribeca. And I was talking to my mom on the phone, and I saw him. And I go, Mom, I got to go. and I hung up but I was like then I got off the phone I was like wait no I don't like I don't we're not gonna I'm not gonna say hello but so then I was like oh my god and then I like kind of turned away and he I could see him like kind of smiling because he saw the whole thing on my face when I was like oh my god mom I have to go and then maybe like wait what and then what was he wearing he was wearing a Yankees hat and like a white t-shirt I love that I love that he smiled that makes me happy maybe he's better than Ellen

Because I used to have videos of him, like there's a stalker video on VHS of like this girl who went around stalking Leonardo DiCaprio and I watched it all the time. And my dad was like Hannah, you're so creepy. So when I saw him, I felt like I was back in that moment of being obsessed with him. But then I was like also like what's going to happen if I meet Leonardo de Caprio? Like not anything I want. Why do you like him so much? I just loved him in Titanic And I think it just stuck with me For my whole life Being obsessed with him You're a loyal fucking bitch Look I mean

Once a lover Always a lover In my mind Ride or die Ride or die Final question is What advice would you give to listeners On how to cope with their hell

I guess what you were saying to me Of just changing the inner monologue And being nicer to yourself and kind of yourself is, is just something that we all, I think everyone needs to do because especially with Twitter and Instagram and Facebook, I don't know, TikTok, what's the trend? It's so easy to just think of yourself as not great. And I just think the only person who's really, who's always, you're the only person who's always going to be on your team, even if you, in the worst moments, you know what I mean?

So you have to be like your best teammate in a way, which sounds very cheesy, but like, I don't know. No, I love that. I love that because you're, you're always, there's so many games that you could play in your head. And at the end of the day, like, root for yourself and be there for yourself. Where can people follow you, Hannah? What can people watch that you're in? Give us a lowdown. My, you know, my social handles are at Hans, H-N-S, Dickie, D-I-E, which is very confusing.

but it's only because those are my two nicknames in college anyway um and then yeah get money on snapchat check it out i don't know download snapchat if you don't have it send nudes yeah get on it what are you doing that's where all the nudies are sent um thank you so much for coming on everyone follow hannah she's amazing and thanks so much for coming to hell i'll talk to you guys later bye Whatever team Fia is on has a chance to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind the scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have.

So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHeart women sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment on IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.