Berner Phone - Hannah's Hot Takes: Dating A Pedophile & Crushing On A Doctor

Episode Date: April 21, 2020

Hannah’s Mom joins to give unprofessional advice and very strong opinions on the demons you guys are dealing with. Email [e-mail] if you're going through hell or in a pickle!--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hannah's Hot Takes Oh Hot Damn, it is the first ever episode of Hannah's Hot Takes. We have a very special guest that I will introduce shortly, but I just wanted to say I actually, I wanted to do bonus episodes considering the situation, and I figured a lot of people had qualms, yes, I just used the word quams, welcome to my TED Talk, and I want people to go to burning in hell pot at gmail.com and send me any demons you're dealing with hell you're going through or just whatever pickle you might be called in send me your pickle that's not asking for a dick pick just send me your whatever issue is bothering you and i am going

to attack it with my unprofessional advice but very strong opinions and you guys i've learned so much through this podcast i've over 70 episodes at this point i've learned a lot about trauma and emotion and heard crazy stories anything from you know furry fetishes to um i don't know what have i done on this podcast who knows i forget but long story short i've gotten a bunch of emails and i was like you know what i think we just need to dig in but as i was reading them i kept asking my mom for advice because that's what i do that's what i've done until around like 26 and then she kind of was like get out of the nest you've learned a lot from me go and take on the world by yourself she doesn't have a British accent but it just seemed inspirational to do that um so my mom

it started giving me good advice to tell these people and I was like mom can't just come on because I can't like just repeat that knowledge you've said my mom is um a very special person in my life and I think me and her together can tackle and have some serious hot takes for you mom are you ready yes it's she and i oh my god this is going to be a long episode let's do this um okay this first one is interesting it's from i don't know if i could say her name i'm not going to say her name we're going to be anonymous because this one is juicy she says okay first off hi huge fan also on wisconsin go badgers second off my question is is a bad i am 24 and i have a legit crush on a 60 year old l-o shh don't judge and then i had we had to get more

information from this so I said is there any details I should know like where you met the situation and she goes oh gosh pains me to type l-o-l he's a doctor and I work for him he's married he legit has the world's best personality like he's a 28-year-old but stuck in a six-year-old's body he's so up to date with the times and knows fashion knows all the songs hell before I do not a reason to fuck a six-year-old but I'll continue he knows the brands and what's in and what's cute maybe he's your gay best friend um that and I'm like ohmg like I'm at the point of do I go see a therapist or he's like my therapist life coach personal shopper advice giver but also just so sarcastic and funny as me as I type this I'm like oh my god

do I need a Xanax right now ha ha ha and then she writes P S in capital letters I don't have daddy issues oh I needed to clear the air my dad is like my BFF and then I said okay has he been flirty with you at all she goes absolutely like a kid in a candy store I won biggest flirt in high school so obviously I have my hands tied and I said have you ever come close to hooking up have you thought about it and she says we have never but I think about it all the time and like roll play scenarios in my head and like sometimes I will leave work and be well hydrated down there if you know what I mean oh my god she goes like a slip and slide action and I'm like oh my god this just got hot takes are hot you guys so graphic I can't even believe I'm

typing this lord helped me you you little devils are all wild and now when i watch movies or shows i hone in on the dads and i find myself being like damn he's a hot dad as opposed to the young boy very like reverse step brother vibes where i've gotten the young calf but now i want the old bull you know so that's when i stopped responding it was like we need a hot take on this first off i don't know how old you are oh she she's i think she's 28 i'm 28 oh 24 Thank you. Mom, put your mic up. She's already correcting me. As a 28-year-old, I know how it feels to be, like, attracted to the, like, 40-ish dad,

but then also attracted to his, like, 20-ish son. But this is another level. Mom, what are you thinking? Well, I mean, she said she didn't have daddy issues, but she's very, like, close with her dad. But, you know, sometimes, you know, when you're younger, you look up to. authority or a boss so i mean it could you know it could be that or you know she has to kind of ask herself that question is it just because he's my boss and i look up to him and he's a doctor and yeah what aren't doctors like classically like very charming like the god complex like they think they can sleep with everyone and cure everyone of everything honestly i don't want you to mess with him

because I need him to solve Corona right now. And if you're distracting with your little flirty techniques, not good for us. But what's the God complex? I mean, that's usually more like doctors who maybe think, you know, that they are all knowing. Some of them, you know, have egos. But you can't say that for all doctors. But, you know, I don't know what this.

We're only hearing one side of the story. Yeah. But it sounds like they flirt all the time. Yeah. I mean, that is a fun with it. I think that's a horrific. dangerous situation I mean he's married she said right and yeah it's funny because my friend I was just talking to his dad left his mom for a secretary at a that happens all the time I feel like

yeah but she seems like she's in she says she's in lust because she talked about her vagina but I also sounds like their best friends it just sounds like lines are being crossed and I think that she's phased because she because of the power dynamic and I think she has to realize that like an actual successful relationship has to be a partnership and it sounds like this is going down a dark path well i mean you're never supposed to get involved with anyone at work never definitely not your boss so many people date people at work because it's the only people you see every day you know that's true but that would be okay if they're in an equal um position but like it's not cool if if you're a boss and you're hitting on someone that you supervise or so what's your hot take

she needs to get out of that fire yeah my hot take is go on hinge find a hot 6 to 28 year old and fuck his brains out okay next um oh my god this is insane what would you do if you accidentally dated a pedophile i honestly these are the best questions i've ever gotten and i've and i've never done this before so i guess that wasn't too much of a statement anyway um Hi, Hannah. Can't wait for Hannah's hot take. Sounds like a really fun extra segment. Thank you. My question isn't exactly a question, but more of what would you do using a scenario that actually happened to me in the dating world? In spring 2019, I'd been seeing a guy my age, both 26 at the time, very casually, but frequently over four months, with zero indication that he was worthy of actual

prison. Oh, one of those hidden bad boys. Those are difficult. One night, he was supposed to come over to unclog my drain. What else are boys for? Spoken like a true little devil. And next thing, I knew I was getting calls from his friends saying he'd been arrested and no one knew what for where he'd been. The next day he was calling me from jail and hours later we found out he had been arrested for two counts of solicitation of a minor. He had been caught in a sting operation meaning he'd been talking to a cop on a dating app thinking it was a 14 year old girl. He went to meet up with the girl that night and was arrested on the spot. I confronted him about it then cut him off completely, haven't heard from him since and wrote it off as a hilarious chapter in my life. That is my single

years. So my question is, what would you do? WWYD. I think it's one of those things where she just wanted to tell me the story. And she just wanted to hear what you would have done. What I would have done is the exact same thing. I don't even know if I would have, I mean, yeah, this, Mom, what are you thinking right now? Well, I mean, luckily she wasn't too involved with him. I mean, They were involved enough that he called her from jail. Well, he's clearly, like, psychopath. Well, this is what you do. You laugh at it.

You laugh at that story. It's hysterical. And then you tell all your friends. You tell it to major podcasts so they can repeat it. You laugh through that trauma. But I would also question my taste in men after that. I would be very worried of, like, I'd ask myself, moving forward, what did I see in this guy?

But also, a lot of these, like, pedophiles and narcissists are. the most charming people because they're very good at disguising their inner demons. So be aware of like red flags that you might have missed. Like I don't know, maybe because he kept asking to babysit your sister or something. I don't know if that was weird. But anyway, just look out for red flags. Don't assume everyone your dating is a pedophile after. But instead of just laughing at him, look at, reflect on your shit.

She could also, there's some like statewide list I think that you can check. Maybe next time she goes on a date, she checks the list for. for pedophiles who live in your neighborhood. Mom, that would be insane if you had to check a list before doing anything. The world is a scary place. Okay, you're not supposed to scare all the listeners, but it is a scary time. But yeah, I just, I hope this doesn't mess up your trust in the future. However, it's a good warning sign that dudes are not what they seem to be.

You guys, any guys in the beginning of a first date who starts telling you you're beautiful or like talking about the future, those are red flags and narcissists vibes. They don't know you. and those are people who like to get it's called love bombing like they want to convince you and they kind of manipulate you just look at like manipulative tactics not that this guy necessarily was that but people who are not just being themselves have ulterior motives and will like try to trap you in something did he know how old she was yeah maybe she just had really nice skin and he thought she was 14 oh my god okay this is a little more general question

from it's called very professional advice needed how the fuck do you make friends at 26 i'm over most of mine but how do i start making new ones signed board doesn't i mean i've heard from people your age that they do the bumble bFF thing yeah i actually think my brother's fiance when she first moved to new york did it i don't know i feel like dating apps are hard enough to also have friend apps too much and then you wonder like what you kind of I know. I mean, it sounds, an app to, I don't know. It sounds very strange, but I feel like we know a lot of normal people who said they've used it. I mean, maybe that's the next friend thing because people thought dating apps were weird and now it's cool. So maybe my mom is on to something. Well,

the way she said it, like the way she just kind of is done with hers and wants to make completely nuanced. Well, first of all, I'm proud of Katrina because it's hard to admit that you don't like your friends. I think I actually realized at one point I don't like most of my friends because I never wanted to go out I just never was excited people were annoying me all the time and it wasn't me I think I just was over it

and I think friendships evolve as you evolve I think definitely being on a reality show changed a lot of my experiences and I saw different sides of people some friends who I thought were friends now only asked me to like post shit on my Instagram for them and you just it's really healthy to

keep your energy around you healthy because that is what is ultimately like reflecting on you maybe she should um try to get like a summer house share or do something different you know in this well i know it's a hard time right now it's a hard time for that what i would have said before is i like to send up sign up for like a volleyball league or a softball league oh yeah um i like to actually like if you're like hang out with guys like don't go in full sex like go in just first like to meet them meet their roommates go out with them meet the girlfriends who were friends with them that's actually a great easy way to get in with friends um and a lot of it is

yeah just and that's how you meet more guy friends too um but i do want to say one thing about making friends when i wanted to make friends and i'd force it it never worked and i find when i like stop trying to make friends and just naturally hit it off with people that was the best thing like if you're trying to make a ton of friends it's not going to work it's like networking if you're try to network with everyone it's bullshit put yourself out there and just continue talking to people who you're naturally vibing with i mean me and page are both terrible natural friends like i tell people when they meet me if i like them i go hey i like you bother me to hang out because i won't reach out to you that's just not me and i feel like page and i despite both being similar

like that we just naturally connected and that's like with guys too or with romantic relationships stop forcing friendships with people and just move on to the next one and that's how you get real friends by just like looking for those legitimate connections yeah I mean a lot of I don't know what she does for a living but um also you know a lot of friendships are easy to make when they're convenience so if you work in a place where there's a lot of people your age it's fun hang out with them yeah how did you make friends when you were young when you were in your 20s um well I stayed really close with my friends yeah so as we were you know starting our lives in new york and getting married and having kids like we all just stayed close so that you know that was our base sounds like a mean girl click to me

anyway hi hannah this is from oh i'm not going to say it it's going to be anonymous love love love your podcast so excited you're starting bonus episodes thank you bitch i saw your instant i have a pickle my pickle is that i'm feeling rather disconnected from my husband lately we've been married for two and a half years and together for seven what's the seven year itch it was the name of a maryland row movie from the 1950s i don't know they say it's a thing was it a thing in your marriage no they say there's like a three-year age too i think it could be itchy depending on the situation um there was recently a pretty big dent in put in our relationship no cheating or anything stupid financial stuff was happening without my knowledge.

But me being the stubborn asshole that I am, I'm finding it difficult to forgive and let our relationship get back to where it's been in the past. There's all the generic advice to go on date nights and focus on each other, but I need more clarity in how to mentally allow myself to open back up and put myself in that vulnerable state to allow myself to trust again. My mind has been wandering back to past relationships and flings because I miss the excitement of my current relationship and I want to get back to that. I love my husband.

I just want to go back to normal, but I'm too much in my head wondering if something will happen again down the road. Damn. This is a heavy one and this is why I'm happy you're here because, first of all, just what I'm just from reading it, she called herself a stubborn asshole because she's not,

she hasn't moved on trust-wise from stupid financial stuff that was happening without her knowledge. First of all, it doesn't sound like stupid financial stuff if it really, really broke your trust. It sounds like serious financial stuff. that happened without your knowledge, which would break your trust. It sounds like you are blaming yourself for not moving on faster

when it sounds like he broke your trust and you still need to solve that issue. You going on date nights and focusing on each other is just, you know, fluff on top of the actual real issue. What do you think? Yeah, I agree. She's not over whatever that incident was. And, you know, she's, yeah, she needs to address it because, she's not going. But she's mad at herself for not moving on like she should. Well, maybe she needs

help. Did you put your disclaimer in that we're not professional? Yeah, we're not professionals, but we can tell people like, I don't know, maybe they need some couples therapy to talk through it. And then her saying her mind's been wondering back to past relationship and flings. It just sounds like you hate him right now. Yeah, because like when you love your husband and there's a problem that arises, like your brain usually wouldn't go all the way there yeah something it's making me think something but if something maybe already was a little on shaky ground okay um before she found out about the financial stuff and it says she said stupid financial stuff was happening so it doesn't mean like he like made one mistake it sounds like he was doing something behind her back and it's like girl decide is it stupid financial stuff that you need to move on from

or was it real stuff that and it also it doesn't matter how necessarily serious it is if it made you feel betrayed trust is what a relation that's like the minimum ground of all I wanted a guy is to trust each other and be there for each other isn't that what camaraderie is for yeah I mean it's it's something you have to have with your husband so it sounds like whatever he said in regards to the financial stuff wasn't good enough for her to move on so what's your hot take well I think she has to revisit it with him and open it up again even though you know it might might be a fight or something that they have to bring to a therapist. I think, you know, obviously she has to address it.

And if she still comes out feeling yucky about it, then, you know, there is a problem. Who, mom speaks it like it is, straight shooter. My hot take is that I think that she needs to stop lying to herself and feel. If you don't feel the emotion right now, you are going to, it's going to stay inside and you're going to fight stupid. This is why couples fight about like, oh, the grilled. cheese got burnt are like oh you didn't shut the back door oh just stoop oh you didn't put the toothpaste on the right counter because you're not dealing with the real issues face your true

issue which is that you're not over the stupid financial stuff he did and so maybe other stuff too and maybe other stuff and face all that shit because if you want your marriage to work you need to face all this stuff head on and yes I'm still single okay that was a really good one it's pretty good considering you don't have a boyfriend I am I'm so good at relationship advice. It's absurd. Oh, this is a good one. Okay, this was from an Instagram DM I got.

Remember, if you guys have any, I recommend you go to Burning in Hell pod at gmail.com with your questions. Advice needed. Is he a fuck boy or is it Corona? I met a guy on Hinge right before the quarantine started and we went on a really good first date. After that, we texted every day and started FaceTiming in quarantine. We also went on two social distancing dates where we went bike riding on a bike path in L.A.

how cute about two weeks ago he started becoming less responsive hours would go by between texts and then a day finally he apologized a few times and said that this whole corona thing was really stressing him out but he was still into me and wanted to go in another bike ride i continued to text but he would take forever to respond and never initiate so i just stopped reaching out and so did he so do i reach out and say something or just let it go it looks like he's lost interest Let it go. Let it go. Leo, moms and love moves and snoblong.

I mean, this is a time that is really challenging. I mean, honestly, like, if he is sitting around watching the news and stressing about coronavirus, like, maybe he's being really pessimistic and thinking, why am I trying to start something? Yeah. When, like, I may not be able to actually, like, touch this person for a year or something like that. And maybe he's just kind of either losing interest or has moved on.

I'm Miss Anti-Force it, and if it's meant to be, you can't fuck it up. It sounds like you clearly, you guys clearly hit it off, but I do think it is situational. I don't want to be like, oh, he's not responding because he's super busy watching the news. Now, he's not responding because for whatever reason, he is not interested right now in it becoming more. But you're probably hurting because you did have a connection. You did hit it off. I say get a new quarantine boyfriend. Just get your roster as big as it can be right now because there's no.

rules we've never done this before i started talking to a guy and we just hit it off but it's like how long could we face time every day before it gets boring i don't know or how long until we find someone else we want to face time i don't know but it sounds like you know you want me to tell you my hot take is don't reach out again go find another quarantine boyfriend or maybe his bicycle is broken mom you cannot make excuses for fuck boys it's okay it's been a really hard time we're all it together buddy like no together it might be an excuse that of why he doesn't want to pursue something but like yeah it's uh do not waste your time with this dude i cannot but then is she just gonna like start facetiming someone else yeah and maybe that person will be right and they will do

it they won't get sick of each other or bored with each other and he will be responsive to her okay okay you want to find someone who's responsive and this guy is clearly you shouldn't have to fucking have to beg for it the second you feel like you're begging or you're being getting crazy about it knock it i agree off um final question um ooh this is a good one hannah first i like to say that you're hilarious thank you i listen to your podcast and watch summer house found your podcast first though i love how ruthless you are honest confident and headstrong oh so adorable i love her already um i live with my boyfriend i've lived with him for the past three years l-o l-l my dad told me not to exclamation mark i'm 24 damn girl i don't know if i've outgrown this relationship or if it's just

the suspense of quarantine but lately all i've been wanting to do is move back right move right back to my dads i fake orgasms when he wants to have sex which i try to delay when i'm and when i'm interested in sex i feel like a man is trying to i feel like a man just trying to get one off writing this email is actually made me realize i need to break up how do you break up with someone who generally liked during quarantine especially when you've made it seem like you still love them ohmg i feel like such a dick should i wait it out give me unprofessional advice please well you're the queen of breakups so i'm gonna leave this one oh my god yeah i'm so good at breaking up i've had to break up in the weirdest situations once i was dating this guy craig who lived with i'd met on craigslist and he lived with me

i also had other boyfriends that live with my parents while i was with my parents um i've got myself in some conundrums first of all yeah it's If you are with a guy and you do not want to have sex with him anymore and it's been and it sounds like his just like presence is making you want to punch yourself in the face, you, girl, you know you need to move back to your dad's. My thing is you once you realize it and you're 100% sure, get the fuck out of there. This isn't love is not like, love is a war. What is the quote? Love is a battlefield. That's a song.

That's a song. But it's like all is fair in love and war. that's what I was going to say you this is he wouldn't want you to stay with him if he wasn't making you happy and I know oh yes how do you break with someone when you feel like you still love them but you feel you you made it seem like you still love them of course because you've been trying to make it work out you need to pull off the band-aid you need to go in one day and say you know what I'm not happy anymore um and I can't do this and I love you so much and I'm so sorry but I don't think this is right for me because if you stay in quarantine with this

motherfucker you're going to lose your damn mind and and also this is the best time to have a breakup because I don't know what you're doing for a living but the world has stopped so it's a good time to have a hard transition get out be with your dad not have to be like I mean it could be sad because you're stuck with your own thoughts but I think you get out of this and the earlier the better yeah I mean but you also know from experience and trying to break up with people that sometimes they push back a little bit right yeah i have had guys who will push back and they'll be like and sometimes it takes longer than one conversation yeah so i think you start the process now for me it typically takes a month from like the moment you realize that you should break up to then like you have a couple conversations

and then you like try to make it work a little and then it's done so it sounds like about a month i think this time during quarantine is a good time to break up because you can be with your dad you can get back to what you enjoy what you want be it'll be tough because you'll be be alone with your thoughts, but you know you're making the right decision. And I just feel like every second you're with the right person is a second that you could be finding the right person or being just on your right path, which could be, you know, towards your career or new friends or whatever just isn't the bad situation you're in. Yeah, I think it's just important that she makes her, she understands why she wants to do it. Yeah. Yeah, be really clear with yourself and take some time

to think. When I say do like a Band-Aid, I mean, just once you decide, side like don't rush into it but breakups are the best it's just like change and new growth it's like shedding old skin and he is going to be just fine don't you worry about a thing um anyway you guys that was our first episode of hot takes um mom thank you for attending hey welcome you were always great and sane and wise as usual and if you guys have any unprofessional advice that you need or you're in a pickle or you have some demons or hell that you're going to going through email it to burning in hell pod at gmail.com and also sign up for my patreon patreon.com slash burning and hell if you want more bonus um episodes my mom's in one there's about

17 or 18 i spill a lot of summer house tea i'm probably going to get in trouble um i love you guys and thank you for coming to hannah's hot takes in hell bye bye I don't know.