Berner Phone - Joanne McNally: Repping Ireland & Recovery

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Joanne McNally comes all the way from Ireland to join me in hell! I bought her a fake bag in Chinatown and she opened up to me about how she battled bulimia, being adopted, and how she figured out she needed to be a comedian. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning and Hell. You guys, I am so excited to have, honestly, the hottest comic in Ireland and the UK right now. It's Joanne McNally on the podcast. Welcome to Burning and Hell. Thank you. I did wear this shirt that says Ireland on it to show you that I'm an Alice. ally. You are an ally, yeah. I've always been obsessed with Irish men growing up Irish Americans, which aren't, you know, real, real Irish. But I, the Irish culture is so fucking funny, so critical. Yeah. I just, I fell in love with Ireland. We do comedy very well. And it's

funny because Des, I have to remind myself Des as American, because you're married to obviously Des Bishop, who is kind of Irish, Irish American, but made his career in Ireland as an American comic. I forget he's not Irish, if you get me. He practically is. He was raised there because it's a cultural thing. It's not... I've been to Dublin three times, so I'm basically Irish now. Joanne. Do you have an Irish visa? You got married. Did you get an Irish visa? Not yet. That's like logistics that I haven't even thought of yet. But you're entitled to one.

I still don't have global entry, so I need to figure myself out. It's causing a lot of tension in my relationship. I don't even want to talk about it. But the second I met Des, he was very good friends with you. and he always talked very highly of you as a comic and he told me though he's like she has had a very interesting life and I said I'd love to pick that woman's brain pick away babe

you started comedy late in life I did late in life late in life yeah because a lot of comic what age were you when you started you know around like between 25 27 like stand up was like 27 yeah so you're late dish as well

most comics not most but some comics you meet they've been doing it since they were like 21 22 I was 31, 32. I did my first gig, I think, in 2017. We won't fact check. Thank God. Someone will at some stage, I'm sure. But I think it was 2017.

I did my first gig. And it was just like, you know, kind of a five-minute thing. And then I only really got going in maybe 2019. Did you want to be a comic growing up? No. That's what I'm obsessed with because I went to Joanne's show, the Prosecco Express. She's touring worldwide right now. She was just in Dubai. Big deal. I told me Trump. Huge. Huge. Huge deal. But I went like, I'm a comic. So I'm watching and you think

you'd watch like, you know, looking at the jokes, like with more like comic eye. I became an audience member. I'm cackling. I'm high-fiving girls next to me. I don't know. I'm getting drunk. And you are so fucking funny. It seems like you found what you were meant to do. But it took you a while to find that. It did. And I feel, do you know, what? I don't believe in kind of like fate or anything like that, but I'm so lucky. So I was working in PR at the time, publicity. So you were creative. I always liked writing. Okay. And do you know what? I loved being on stage as a child. I was like kind of a bit of a show pony as a child. They say if you performed a lot as a child, you were mentally ill.

They would be right. I was being like Gingster's Paradise Music video when I was eight and my parents were like put this girl away lock her up in a closet yeah i know because i think a lot of parents if they don't come from like and like it's so few that parents that do work in show business or any of that shit so if they don't and they have this child who's a bit outgoing and likes being on stage and i used to get cast well in plays now i mean like i mean the nativity play like i'm talking i'm not talking like broadway i was like you marry or jess if not Not bragging. Or Judas. You know, I was never a donkey. The goat. I was never a donkey. I was one of the main people. But if my mother, I remember, because she said to me, she was like, I just didn't really know what to do with you. And because she doesn't come from that kind of world, she just said acting will be like a hobby or something like that. Oh, yeah. Our parents grew up in like corporate America. Yeah. Where they were like riding the corporate ladder, get your college degree. It's set up. Yeah. This kind of world, especially now, the world that you're in. is even different to the world

that I, the comedy world I came up in because there was, I sound like I'm ancient, but it happened so, the online comedy thing happened so quickly. It genuinely wasn't really

that big a thing when I started. So anyway, the acting thing was put away. I'd love to have been an actor. I'd love to have been an actor. I'm so, I'm so glad.

I can't act for shit. The only reason I ever got cast when I was younger was because my voice was so loud. Yes. And in school halls, there's no microphone system. They just need a child

who can scream and yell. And that was, I could project my voice. So I got cast in things. And I love drama. And I really liked writing stories. And anyway, of course, that wasn't considered like a proper job, whatever. So I went to university and all that jazz and ended up working in PR because with Peor, you can write. Like, you write press releases and stuff. But it's pretty boring. It was, it was, I'd love to have been a writer. But I didn't have the balls. That's the truth. I just didn't have the confidence to do it. Also, it's hard to just be like, I'm going to just write and see what happens. People do.

I mean, they need to have money to, like, sustain it. Like, it's hard to be creative when you're like, I can't pay my bills. I know. But you see, in Ireland, because I did, I lived at home until I was much older. So I could have actually taken a job with, when in fairness, I did. I interned in P.R company, so I was working for free anyway. But the writing thing, one thing I did, it's funny because I think now I am very confident, but I needed a lot of encouragement.

Even in comedy, I was kind of pushed into it. I didn't go into it myself. I needed the encouragement and then when I realized I could make a work for myself then I was like I'll do it all myself do you know what I mean

bang bang bang bang bang bang bang it's like you got enough affirmation from the universe I needed a lot of affirmation I was I didn't have a lot of confidence even though yeah it's a funny one it was kind of a mix of kind of I yeah I just didn't really believe

I could make a career out of those things because they're a bit airy fairy a writer an actor they're not a guaranteed job and I was raised to get a guaranteed job pension job Pension job. But I also can't really envision you the Joanne I know now in that like controlled

9 to 5 environment. I feel like you're too much of, you're like a light, like you just want to, you want to be dancing around on a stage. Well, the agency I was in, in fairness, was it like, it was a creative agency. So it wasn't a very corporate agency. We were like a youth company. So we did, you know, we were, you know. Yeah.

You're cool. Yeah, we were like... Were there kegs in the office? Like, janeses, necklaces and, you know, Nightgare Max with like nine tongues. Do you remember those... I was Adidas runners with the multiple tongues on them. Do you remember the multiple tongues?

Okay, so you guys were like hip. We thought we were kill. Yeah. So I guess that kind of scratched that creative itch a little bit, but I was getting quite down and a bit sad. And also, like, at the time, I would, I'd really had eaten disorder that I was just ignoring and just functioning along with.

And I think at hindsight, I know, I would think it was a sign of the fact that I just wasn't that fulfilled. You know, they talk about your cup and how full it is and how empty it is. Oh, yeah. You love, I love that council chat, therapy chat. They're like, your cup falls,

your cup empty, and my cup was pretty empty. I was running on empty. So anyway, the more bored I got in my life, board is not the right term. It's like, uninspired. Exactly. I was in a rut, and I was like, is this it? And then my eating disorder got worse and worse and worse.

And then eventually it just kind of spiraled out of all control. And then I was, I had to quit my job, which in a way was an absolute blessing in disguise because I was forced to change my path. Whereas I wouldn't have done it myself. I just would never have had the confidence to go. I'm going to jack it all in. That's why like getting fired, breakups. I love that shit.

Because it's the universe. I know, I don't mean you sound like willy nilly, be like the universe. But like, I feel, I always say it's like surfing. Yeah. Like if you're on find the right wave, you just go. I agree. And, like, if you're not on the right wave, you just feel like you're going to punch in the face over and over again. 100%.

And, like, you know, not to go all Oprah on it and all, but, like, I do you think sometimes you're forced into a fresh chapter that you wouldn't have kind of started yourself. And it's the best thing that ever happened to you. It's almost like everything around you knows that you're going to be better in a new environment, except your own brain playing tricks on you. And sometimes, I feel like your body and mind is so connected. Like, when I'm in a bad situation, like, I'll start getting panic attacks. I'll start, you know, like losing my appetite. So it's almost like your physical and your mental are very related. A hundred percent.

Yeah. Like I didn't develop anxiety disorder. That's not what I have at all. But I definitely sometimes I'll make a commitment to something work-wise or personally. And then I'll just be drowning in, you know that nauseous, anxious feeling. I'm like, Joanne, you clearly don't want to do this thing. Just fucking can't, like just get out of it. But I hate confrontation.

so I can't bear I hate saying no to things or I hate cancelling things anyway that's my own personal problem so I had to leave the job so then I was kind of forced to recalculate and recalibrate and then I was

so I was in treatment but I was only a day patient so I wasn't in full time so I was just kind of like going in and doing a bit of therapy during the day and visiting with the eating disorder centre

like that was kind of it was like a part time job And then my friend Unaat McEvett who wasn't really my friend at the time but obviously is a very good friend now she was going into theatre and she was putting on this show called singlehood which the premise was

half real people as real people in verticom as like non-actors or comedians and half comedians and actors and it was a cast of like seven or eight seven or eight and we would just stand on stage stand up and down up and down and talk about our love lives And I think, Una, she probably saw a bit of a, I was going to say, thirst bucket in me.

I think she saw I was a bit lost and I didn't know what I was doing. And I think she thought, she could probably do the job. Do you know, like, can I say she was like, do you want to do this show? And I was like, yes, absolutely. And in the interim, what had happened was, when I was, when I'd left my work and stuff and I was, I had this anonymous blog as we all did. Oh, sassy. Back in 2014.

Yeah. Or whatever year it was. Sex in the city. Very sex in the city. Before we were vlogging, we were blogging. badly. I was badly blogging about bulimia. And I think it was called Eat the Pastry. I can't find it. I've tried to find on the internet since. I must have taken it down. I don't know. Anyway, a friend of mine Doug sent it to an editor in Ireland and then she offered me a column off the back of that. So suddenly I was making a bit of money writing. It wasn't big money. But suddenly this new world was opening to me that I was like, hold on. Maybe I wouldn't be shit in this world. Maybe I'd be good in this world. And people are like interested in you because of these like struggles you're going through. Like, it's almost making you unique. Well, the great thing was, her name was Vicki Natarro.

She gave me my first collie men, Ireland. I said to her, do I need to write about, believe me? And she was like, no, write about it. I just like, you're writing. Write about anything you want. Oh, she fucking believed in you. Yeah. So I was like, wow.

So suddenly it was, again, someone's telling you, you can do this. And so that was it. Suddenly I was writing. It wasn't much, but I was writing. And then Una put me in this show. And then I, because up to that point, Because it's hard to explain, I suppose, but so many women struggle and men struggle

with eating disorders at times in their life where it's like, recovery, the only thing recovery meant to me was getting fat. Wow. It's all it meant. So it didn't mean, I didn't see the benefits of being able to like

go out at the weekends again because I wouldn't go out because like it was bulimia mostly, right? So I couldn't bear to like put on any way to eat or drink or like, you know, I'd be watching the girls that go down to walk the pier and get an ice cream and I'd be like, how are they just eating an ice cream

and just moving on with their lives. Because that is your number one priority is controlling the eating. Number one priority. Not relationships, not jobs. Not yourself. No. Your number one priority,

what mine was was shrinking every day. I wanted to wake up smaller. That was it. And it's crazy because you're large... Okay, this is over shit. You're larger than life. But like, you really are.

Like, in person, you're larger than life. On stage, you're larger than life. And I know you said that, like, you're a bad actress, but it got me thinking, like, every night you're acting. as yourself and stand-up. It's a form of acting. It is. And I could see you being in like rom-coms and stuff. You know Jennifer Aniston? Let's be honest. Incredible. The same person in every movie.

She is. You like Chelsea Handler, she's always going to be herself. I feel like you, like in sisterhood, being yourself and performing, I mean, it's kind of your stand-up. But do you know what? You're actually, you're actually right in the sense that, because I've been cast in a couple of things that I didn't think I did a very good job in because there were characters that were already written. and they were like, oh, we'll get you on it to do that character. Were I cast as this? Yes, because your sense of self is like so strong, but it's also like you've been through some fucking darkness.

I mean, because I'm a woman, obviously I've had eating struggles. Like when I was 16, 17, I was had a lot of pressure with tennis. I was a tennis player. Yeah. And I couldn't control if I was winning. I couldn't control if like my parents were spending money on me and I had a lot of pressure. But I could control that I eat healthy every day.

Yeah. And I was, if you looked at it, it was kind of, I was eating like oatmeal, chicken. I was eating a lot. Yeah. And I was working out six hours a day. Whoa. So I looked in the mirror one day and I was tiny. Yeah.

And I remember all I thought about was food. Yeah. I thought about was other people's food. Yeah. And you're like, you're like, but I went. I got help and I'm very lucky. Yeah. But I recovered before I like went to college and stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's funny you mentioned like getting healthy meant like getting bigger. Someone commented on my Instagram. other day, you look healthy. And I took it like, I spiraled. I was like, are you calling me fat? Yeah. Or like body positive. Some call me bi positive the other day and I was like, healthy. I know. It doesn't know. You're like, how do I take that? I don't know how to take it. I shouldn't care what they're saying. But in a way, it does seem like, like, if you'd said to me, when I was in recovery,

if you'd said to me, I actually had to stop people saying, you, because as I was kind of getting better, I was obviously putting on a couple of pounds. And if someone said to me, you look, you look good. Do you you look good, you look healthy, I would spiral. That to me just meant. Nowadays people are like just stop talking about women's body in general. Like when someone's like, oh, you don't even look pregnant or that kind of stuff. Even when I first met you, out of my mouth, I go, you're so tall.

And afterwards I was like, oh my God, I feel like I, I, that was weird to say. No, you can say tall. My thing is the way you carry yourself, like, even on stage is like, like, kind of this like little vibrant woman, you know? Like, the way you care yourself is so light. Do you know what you? You literally prance on stage. I do prance, actually.

But then you're like a model when you meet you in person because I look up. She's quite tall. I'm quite tall. Five ten. But I mean, literal model.

So your mid-20s, which is like, honestly is such a scary time. You're so confused. You don't know what's going on. Do you know what I think it wants? When I look back now, I think something in me wanted to excel at something,

to exceed at something, to be successful at something. And professionally, I had a good. good job, but it didn't feel like there was anything big happening there. This is fucked up, but people who have eating disorders that they fully commit to, they're always like the most type A impressive. Like, you have to be fucking like disciplined to have a need disorder.

Takes a lot of time. Like the way you committed to bulimia, you've now, I feel like put that towards your thin up career. I agree. So what I, so it's my, my commitment was to being thin, right? So the commitment that I had towards being the thinnest person in the room, then I, thank God, kind of shifted into, like, so that drive was what I put in into comedy, thank God. What do you, I got obsessed with comedy then.

Well, I didn't actually get obsessed with, I just kind of started a gig. But you have to have a little addictive personality to, like, stand up in a little of a, like, like, like the pain a little bit. Yeah. A little bit like, I know it's hard, but I'm going to push through. Yeah. Which like, I grew up in America and I know our, like, beauty. standards and the fucking magazines and all that

bullshit. In Ireland, what do you think contributed to Joanne turning towards wanting to be skinny? I don't know. I think. Who are we blaming? Who are we blaming? Cosmo. I blame Cosmo too.

I'll sue those motherfuckers. I blame Cosmo. They're always like, how did I like give a blood job so he doesn't hate you? See, you don't look fat on top or it's like. Have a ride a guy with no rule. hips are in what how can hips

when do they go out you have to have a big ass but you have to have no ovaries you have to flatten the ovaries and don't make sure your ankles aren't too wide because men don't even know if you get your hair cut

men can't even tell if you cut three inches off your hair and we're like nervous about a roll I think they're with brainwashed as we are to be honest I had more boyfriends when I was riddled with bulimia than I've ever had before or since

and you don't need to make the gag reflex joke it's it's there let's not address it. We were joking for me. But I swear to God. Because they were as brainwashed as I was. But Joanne.

I looked unwell and they were like. But you couldn't be yourself in the relationship because you cared more about bulimia than him probably. Three months in, every relationship they'd break up for me. Every single one of them. Three months in, boom. Three months in. That was when they were like, this woman is bananas.

And they'd be like, and I was, do you know what? When they broke up me, I'm not even messing. I was relieved. I was like, I can go home to my bulimia now. and be at peace with myself and my bulimia and power through. Yeah. I didn't need them.

They were actually a hassle. How many people knew about this? How much of a secret was it? Well, towards the end, everyone knew because it just became very obvious. What was that like for everyone to know? I was just, to be honest, I was so, I don't know,

is the truth. I know that some of them found it very upsetting. Some of them were like, we just can't, to be honest, you kind of disappear a bit. It's not like a real, you're not socializing anymore. They know it.

Some of them brought it up, some of them didn't. Then when I kind of quit my job and started treatment, I wouldn't shut up. There was nothing. Because I'd lied about it for so long that I couldn't stop talking about it then. It's probably refreshing. It was absolutely liberating. They're like, do man, how are you? Bilemmic.

How are you? I'm riddled with bulimia. Back in my mother's attic. How are you? Secrets literally like rot you from the inside out. Yeah. And to hide something. And also to feel like, I feel like shame is the hardest emotion.

and I've dealt with shame. A hundred percent. We don't talk about shame. Like, it's not embarrassment. It's not, like, shame is like you are so, like, sad about yourself. It's embarrassed. Yeah. Because I didn't think of it as, like, if you look at it as a mental illness, which, of course, it is, I felt it was self-inflicted.

I felt I was doing it to myself. I was powering it. It was up to me that I, it wasn't kind of a... It was like a sick self-haping. It wasn't some sort of like kind of unwiring of my brain which I think now I look back now

that psychiatrist is like there's a problem with the compulsive side of your brain it's imbalanced or whatever but I didn't think of it like that so it was all self-inflicted my choice, my reason, my body, my choice I was choosing to do this so I didn't see it

so when it was banged into me this is a mental illness there was such relieved but I just kind of gave myself over to being a patient then I was like I don't know what I'm doing I'm not responsible for it I'm possessed by something else

and then that only will get you so far because you can enjoy that period of release as you kind of admit that it's not of your doing that you're broken in your brain but then you have to start the work of actually fixing it which is like you're you know

tough when people are let's say addicted to alcohol I feel like it's a mental disease but people don't treat it like it's cancer and then like even bulimia some people could think like oh she like just wanted to be skinny. That is the most oversimplified way of describing it. It's literally a mental illness of trying to like function. I think if you are um because thinness I do think

it's different now. I think things I've moved on but thinness was so celebrated even when I was a teen. Like I was I came up in the like naughties where everyone was just like a stick insect and those juicy mature jeans were hanging off their hip bones and that was what I was raised on. So thin was and there was no such thing as too thin and it was all size zero and all that jazz and that was what was celebrated and that's what

if you didn't matter what you were doing however your life was falling apart and every other way if you were thin you were successful that was it

that was it so it didn't matter that I'd lost my job lost my boyfriend that I was back in my mum's house that I'd had to give up the house I was living in with my housemates

that didn't matter I was 10 so everything else was fine but now looking back It's like, are you happier now or when you were starving yourself? Oh my God, 100%. But it's so refreshing. I never thought that that would happen.

I just thought, I'll have to recover and I'll just put on weight and just be sad forever that I've got weight on me. And I'll never like myself or my body. But that's just what I have to do now because people are getting tired of me now. There is a kind of a line where people go, there's only so much sympathy in the world for you. That's the truth. There's like a time ticker. Like, okay, well, two years.

give you, you'll give you this, but then we're moving on. That's exactly what, that's exactly. And I remember one of my friends, I won't say her now because she, I'd say, she, I said it to her since and she's like, did I say that? I was like, you did. And it was actually a great piece of advice. She said, you know, people will only put up with you being a patient for so long, Joanne and then people will move on. So you need to start this process of recovery. Like you need to start actually engage, she's a nurse.

She's like, you need to start actually engaging with recovery instead of just going around town when you're blemick. That's not recovery. I was like really It feels great It's like we love the billboard You put up in Dublin Yeah yeah yeah I was going to say something really dark

There I'm but um Did you Were you able to meet other women Struggling with similar things at all? I have since I have friends who When I spoke about it Because I went on then

So the Una who cast me in singlehood She then came up with the idea Of turning that blog into a show like a play so you know for you know the one woman play

that most performers start with this kind of one woman play called bite me what a good name bite me yeah that was Ian's idea she's brilliant

and she directed that and she co-wrote it she kind of took that those I don't know what you'd call them kind of just chapters and you also must have been

so vulnerable during that during doing all the therapy like finally realizing things about yourself yeah it was a it's it's it's it

It's it, yeah, I don't want to put anyone off who's thinking about starting the journey of getting better, but you really, it does, you really have to work at it. You have to work at it. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Well, anything you want is going to be difficult on the other side. And it's so easy, habits are hard to break. And I guess I'd so many bad habits around food then you have to really want to get better. And eventually, it's just time. It's like a breakup. It's just time. Time heals always. Time heals. And perspective is so crazy how like after you realize what's been fucked up that's been like said to you by the media or your fans. or whatever, when you're out of it and you see people talking about it, you're like, oh, I don't, that's not going to hurt me anymore. No, I know that like, I don't have to listen to you. Totally. Or like, you're the one who's messed up. Yeah. I'm not going to, I'm not going to be a part of it. I believed the narrative. I, I believed what I was being sold online that basically the only value I had to offer society was my body. Yeah. And that the only way that was valuable was if it was pin and I didn't think I'd any other value I really genuinely didn't and the one of my favorite quotes

is my body is the least interesting thing about me yeah and that is I feel like you are such an example of that where like when someone meets you you just get smacked in the face by your energy like you get smacked in the face by same oh my god thank you you're welcome I also that's what I always try to feel about my body because like my weight's fluctuated and I do think like as people who have anxiety I'll put it into something like instead of addressing like maybe like actual things I'll be like oh if I just focus on getting skinny I'll be happy yeah but that's black and white I know you'll get skinny and you're still going to be miserable I know it's like even people sometimes a plastic surgery would be like if I get this boob job yeah everything is going to be good in my life and then they get it

and they get this post depression not because it's wrong to get a boob job but because they assumed it was going to fix I know everything and you're still the same person but just with perky tits yeah I know that aren't going to be these like answers. I know. There is a momentary thrill. A little high. Yeah, a feeling of success when you get into a smaller size gene or something. Then you're literally just sitting back up in your mum's attic sitting there

while all your friends are living their life, having a relationship. Well, still all the things that have haunted you from your childhood are still there. Exactly. And like I think eating disorders, they're kind of complicated. I don't think it's one thing. I'm adopted. That probably played a part in it. there's this kind of wanting to impress people all the time.

Was an adopted child, your top dancing around the place going, don't regret collecting me. Do you know what I mean? Don't regret. I don't know. This is what they say. It's impossible to know. I mean, so much about, like, therapy is talking about, like, your inner child

and, like, reparenting, talking to your inner child. But what makes me happy about your story is, like, and I feel similar to you that, like, I've done a lot of different careers, but I feel the most similar to, like, Hannah when she was six years old. I didn't care about what my body looked like I just wanted to be goofy and make people laugh and like you found who like that little girl was

totally well I'll tell you how I actually got into it before she was affected by things well I was always a bit weird about my weight because I was a tall child when you're like when you're like when we played mummies and daddies I was always the daddy I was only saying it on the podcast I do with Vogue today so I did a school play we did the sound of music

and I auditioned for the part Liesel and do you know what they cast me us? Rolf the telegram boy. Do you remember the sound of music? Yeah, that'll traumatize someone. Exactly. There's now coming back from that. There's now coming back. So I was always made feel, I always felt quite big in myself. Yeah, I was too big, you know.

So my dad would have cornered you'd be like, you want to be a volleyball player? Yeah, you see. You want to be a basketball player? I would love that. Yeah. Like, also me growing up because I was from a sports family, my body was always about being strong. A vessel. Yeah. So it was about like, you're the fastest. Are you the strongest? Yeah. So I

dealt with other things like perfectionism with winning to feel loved. But it's just so funny how like it's other things put on you. Of course. Because if you weren't cast as that man, it would have changed. Like if people were like, you are going to be a volleyball star. You'd have anxiety with volleyball, but it would have made you have a different perspective on your life. When I was grown up, strength was not a thing that was encouraged in girls. Now, I wasn't in a sporty family. So I don't know. I can't speak. That's

not fair to make that really sweeping statement. But certainly among my group of friends. You know what's not a potential in your... It wasn't about strength. Do you know what I mean? Joanne could pick up a strong log. Like I was the goal. I was the goalie and hockey.

They were just like, Phil to go there. Yeah. Just like... But it's true. It's almost like when you'll meet a guy older who's like super hot, but he's insecure and then he's like, I was a fat kid. Yeah. And you're like, oh, that kid's still there.

Carry it always down. As in just the insecurity. but comedy genuinely got me out of that headspace because it's you're going in where you're going into this industry where if you're good at your job you know you get booked you can see your progress and people clap tell you're funny

like it makes you feel good about yourself so when I was in singlehood and I was telling a story about a guy who just broken up at me and again obviously three months boom like clockwork and I was kind of been I was being facetious but I was saying like he was bald

but I you know when I I was falling for my you know he looked like he got a full head of hair and then when it was breaking up me I was like you're bald you sound like you're this conversation says you think you've got a full head hair I was being a dicket anyway there was another comedian who was in the show at the time and he was like oh

oh I think you should do stand-up because I was standing up telling this story but there was a cast sitting down behind me so anyway he was very encouraging in fairness to him he was really encouraging and him and Una kind of encouraged me to give it a go and then that's what happened and then I got signed in the UK

and then I went over there and I just kind of put everything in it then all the eggs in the comedy basket and just hammered the gigs hammered them but nothing really happened it wasn't not that it wasn't happening but I was gaining a little bit of momentum

but it's gaining momentum via gigging it's a slow process and then but podcasts are of course a much faster way of getting into people's ears and eyes and so then during lockdown I started a podcast with Vogue called my therapist gouted me. And then that's why I can do shows in New York now and things like that

because podcasts travel. And isn't it funny that that that's just like you and your best friend. Chatt and shit. Cracking. What's that mean? Doing the crack. Cracking. We're just crying. That's really cute. We're just doing the crack. We're just doing crack. Having crack. We're just having the crack. I also, for women who like, there's a bunch of listeners who probably have struggles with their eating. Do you have any like advice for, when you're in like that time where you feel fucking crazy like you don't trust your own brain

it was awful yeah so all the no is the honest answer get professional help admit that you needed someone else to help you it's like studying for an exam

just start it just get it just start and then just get on the right track but I remember so when I was unwell well, if someone said to me, you're too thin, because they would say it because they were concerned, all I heard was, you're too thin. Like it was a positive. So, and I remember one time a friend of mine said to me, she's like, you look really sick. I'm really worried. You look really unwell. And it was the first time I was like, oh, maybe I'm not this glamazon, chic, modelesque

type waif that I thought I was. I actually looked sick, which I never wanted to look sick. No. I wanted to look super thin and cool. I didn't want to look sick. And I remember when she told me she started using the word sick and I didn't like that at all. That made me worry about. That made me a bit worried.

That is when you want to be like I look healthy. I look like I take care of myself. I look like I love being in the skin. I also just, I tell myself that if I get too skinny, my head's going to look big. That was the rage when I was going up.

Lollipop heads. Allipers. Everyone's looking like a chupp, it's so sick. It's so sick. And I wonder now because I do think, maybe I'm naive, but I do think things are better for girls now.

I do. I do. Well, also, because so much was focused on sex and beauty growing up. Yeah. And what to do for men to like you. Yeah. Curl your hair, so he'll like you. Laugh like this, so he'll like you.

We're now we have so many more women who are excelling in so many things. And like, who knows how many women you're inspiring to do comedy when instead they were trying to fit a mold of like the cute quiet girl. I know. When like you're just not it. Do you know what is wild I think is a big thing? When I was, um, grown up and when I was certainly when my, eating disorder started. When it finished, Instagram was kind of established. But the only

women we were shown were the women that the industry chose to show to us. So like billboards magazines. And there was only one and that was heroin chic and that was it. There was nothing else. Kate Moss. Kate Moss. Look like, I love Kate. But heroin chic, it's like ultimately you have to look like you've been, you've fallen out the back of a crack house to be considered sexy and attractive. Whereas now anyone can model. Anyone's a model. You know what I mean? There's like women of all sizes, like influencing, creating contact online. You can find yourself represented much easier now than you could. When I was grown up, you just couldn't. Yes. And there's a part of, like, some girls will see a model and be like, I really, like, that's me, like I want to do that.

And maybe that brings them joy. But I always saw like, like, like, I joke like Barbara Corkran or like, I'd see these like business women or like Chelsea Handler and I'd be like, I want to be like them. Like that's who I gravitated towards. That's amazing. That's amazing though. And like the fact that you can put yourself out there now. It's, it's, it's just fucking awesome, especially like in Ireland and America. There's, the female comics, there's, in the big screen, there's not as many. Where in Ireland or America? Both.

Yeah. We see, I, when I started, I keep saying, like I've been down 30 years, but there, I, I, I benefited from the trickle-down effect of Amy Schumer, basically. Wow. Because Amy started, Amy just like popped everywhere. and then suddenly it was like, oh no, what about women in comedy? You know, maybe we need a woman. And then there was certain panel shows that they felt the pressure. People suddenly wanted to see women on telly and they're like, we need a woman, we need a woman.

So there was work I definitely got because I was a woman. There's work I didn't get because I was a woman who went about ways. True. But so I kind of rode the wave, I wrote the Amy Schumer wave. That's how I was able to come up. Amy Schumer is the fucking best. When I watched Train Rec, it changed my life. Like I was like, this is what I want to do.

I want to fall my face at a next game. But now you're in the public eye. Suddenly in, look, you are your face is everywhere, your body's everywhere going on stage. How have you done that like little check of like we're not going to fall into

old patterns kind of thing? I think it's tough but I had a therapist. I don't actually see her anymore. Well, one of them guys to me we can say the podcast came about but he wasn't he wasn't an AD therapist. But I think

I think, I'm, I feel like a completely different person. Like, I don't really recognise myself in my 20s. You've really, the wires are like gone. I just don't recognise that person who would, um, hurt themselves like that. Who would sabotage their bodies like that to impress some fucking random lad in a bar. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. I just don't recognize that person at all. I love for the bald dude. I, I say I'm jealous of Baldwin. I love Bolt. Because I want my pussy to be that smooth. Like the razor burns on my pussy Do you see how they glisten? Hold on, do you don't?

Do you not? I'm lasering, but it's, I have to laser more than Star Wars. It's a slow process. I'm Italian and Jewish. It's the whole thing. I'm like a dolphin now from the eyebrows. Oh. But then my friend, Una,

Una's like, Oona's like, why would you do that to yourself? You look like a child. And I was like, oh my God, I'm sorry. And now I'm really worried when it goes back out of fashion. Chelsea Handler had a joke about what she's supposed to do to get plugs

because she's done the same all these women we just follow the trends but also there's a bit of self-hating there as well a bit of self-loathing that like I can't have a single hair I would get mad at the guy I was with

during the wax I'd be like this motherfucker it's not worth it for him how dare he make me do this but the laser my thing is I get sweaty I don't want to feel like there's like stuff growing in there

but that's funny hair plugs I need to get legs in America because because I'm torn and aren't at the moment what I was I used to get a laser in Ireland and I cannot bear

the chance that some woman while I'm pulling my legs apart she's like That is so funny because that happened to me during a spray tan And I was like I need I just was like

You know flapping around Labia everywhere And she was like I think I saw you on Bravo And I'm like You've seen alone of me You've seen too much of me I can't come back here

That's the answer I don't need to be on Reddit Someone talking about my pussy Like It's so undignified the positions for it's so there's no way of walking out of there

with your dignity there's just no way like do they use the lollipop stick over here what is that to pull your to pull your labia open oh no

sometimes just to pull yourself like if there's just no dignity in it and you just don't want someone we've been like oh my god I saw you bro look

you just just no dignity so I just put on dark glass and a hash you know it's better than her her butthole it was too much

when I was after I also stand up like I was looking at like your alfo so cute you look so comfortable stand up

it's hard because you know when you have those like bad body days where you just like you don't feel like you want to wear a tight dress 100% but you've you've picked your outfit for the gig and you're like I not only have to stand here and suck it in because I'm bloated from chicken parmesan everyone's staring at my Fupa like I'm on stage and it's like

I feel like men don't have to deal with this as much where we have to put on an outfit that we feel comfortable in we can do confident jokes in like do you ever feel it's difficult Well, I, so put yourself out there. This is, I suppose, how much I've come on in my brain and my thoughts and my attitude towards myself. There are nights that I, because obviously I've been on, I've been on tour for since December 2021.

Wow. Right. And I love wine. And my weight goes up and down, same as everyone else's. And there are obviously nights that you're not, you know, because I wear quite a slinky jumpsie thing. And sometimes there's photos taken that you're like, that's not great for morale but you know i was like it's not my job the team didn't need that it's not my job to be attractive here that's not my job my job is to try my people laugh it's not

my job to be hot it's not i'm not taking that on wait i'm obsessed with that it's not i'll take photos and meet and greets and i will not i'm just too tired to like suck in to smile the right way like i'm just enjoying the people around me yeah and then the photos look horrible but i just i actually don't care because i'm like i didn't promise them a great photo and it is promised them a fun night Even Beyonce has and she like banned photos been taken over at gigs because she's so animated

and then they're taking these what she would consider unflattering photos and then putting them all over the internet she did something like that where she just lets a professional photographer because sometimes there's a photo taken and you're like

I didn't need to see that I mean stand up it's impossible to get like an attractive photo while you're talking it's like there's no way to get your lip the right way while you're making a dick joke I know sadly

but again like there's almost a part of you that's like the little Hannah would think it's cool that I have a photo of me on stage in front of people with a microphone. That's it. No one's going to be like, oh, my double chin is showing in that. Once they're laughing, that's all that matters. Also, I'd argue if I don't have a little double chin, I don't know if I'll be able to be that expressive. Exactly. You're not, you're not that happy. I've got bell talks. I can't move up here.

I need to move the rest of me to wiggle around to express my feelings. So you said you were adopted, which I actually just recently found out, but you're of Irish descent. Yes. Like if I did a ancestry. I'd say there isn't even a sniff of anything. I'd say it's a hundred percent Ross Common, which is where I'm adopted out of Ireland. Yeah, it's pure pure gold butter inside to cut you open. My favourite. And Des was saying, because Des is obsessed with his Irish history, looking into that, how deeply have you looked into your history? Do you know what? It's a funny one because you end up, for me, I can only speak from my own P. F.V. But my own experience of adoption is that you kind of fall between two stools when you're adopted. So you were

biologically spat out over there, but you were culturally raised here. So if you were to like kind of search your ancestry or you're where you came from, which do you go for? Do you go for blood or do you go for the family you're adopted into? It's just a weird one. I've never, so I've never had an interest in doing it really. I feel like a kind of a, you end up being a bit of a, Like, obviously my priority is my family, obviously. But so because I am adopted, when I grew up, I was quite curious about my abilities. Like, did I have a secret talent for piano? Yeah.

I never knew about, you know. You're like, am I a nepo baby? Yeah, my a nepo baby. And you're praying. You're fucking praying for a bit of napole. You're just like singing in the shower like, uh, no. Mariah? Is that, yeah?

I was praying for a bit of nepotism, but sure, there was no, I thought there was no Nepo in me. It's so funny. You just start playing chess and you're like, I knew it. But it's so, because as a child, you're, you're so curious about yourself, really. And especially as an adopted kid, because you really come out with very little context for yourself. You're just this kind of thing that just sprang out of the ground. You don't know where you came from. You've no roots as such. You've nothing to look back. You've no blueprint to look back and go, oh, that's where I do this. Or, oh, look, I have that person's nose. You've none of that. And I was always really

jealous of people who looked like people. That was my big awe. I was like, oh, I just love to have looked like someone didn't look like anyone. So, show, what was the question? Well, just being adopted and like your families and how you've kind of, how much interest you had in it. That was it. So I had a big interest in it because, and it kind of plays back into that whole performing thing and the writing thing. And I felt like maybe I'd inherited that because it wasn't in my adopted family. They really didn't have any interest in that kind of thing. and so then when I found my birth parents they were exactly like my adoptive parents

they were just two regular people working regular jobs making a living just like normal people which is actually what you want yeah like imagine finding out you were some from some like fucking showbiz dynasty you know what I mean I'd love to find out

I was one of the beckoms do you know David Beckham but I think we're a bit too close in age but that would have been the girl you might be related to Nick Cannon at this point I knew it Writs of each other Oh my God How do you think it affected now

Your relationship With love, your relationship With other people yourself Being adopted It's so, I don't know That's the truth Like how do you know Because all I know is my own experience

Yes And I know where I kind of fall down a bit And I know that I can be a bit is it fearful avoidant that's my attachment stuff but how do you know what parts of it are would you have had anyway

and what parts of it are a product of being adopted it's impossible to know it's like mix and paint and then trying to separate them again I don't know yeah and it's funny because family is such a complicated concept

where like some people it doesn't matter if it's your real family they don't ever feel that close to them oh exactly yeah exactly and family some people is so important and family to some people is really not So my family, like I don't feel adopted.

They just feel like my family, but I'm, I've been told I'm adopted and I'm assuming that is the truth. I'm just like, okay, fair enough. Do you know what I mean? Also, your stand-up with your mom is fucking hilarious. But I'm not like, oh, hello, Patricia. Thanks for letting me stay for the last 39 years. Thanks for the ACOM.

She's just my mum and my brother's my brother. Why did she want to adopt? Because she couldn't have kids. And she, at the time, you know, she's like, that's what you do. You get married, you have kids. And funnily enough, my. father wasn't that enthused about it. And was, my mother, I would think, is fair

to say, wore the pants. My dad's dead now. He died maybe 20 years ago. But she was like, we're adopting. I used to do it and it's not about something. I can't remember what was. We're adopting. He goes, we're not. Sorry. Anyway, it was something like, they're in the car. I can't remember. She gave me. She wanted to adopt a cat with Des. He's like, no, we're not. And I'm like, she's in the house. She's in the hallway. She's in the her box, so. Oh, too late. Her paws coming through the cat flap.

I mean, there is something nice about, like, someone, like, really chose you. Like, yeah. Well, I think she didn't really. She was given me. Like, this is, I used to think that they walked into this kind of glass, this corridor, this glass, um, window. And then there was a line of baby. Like window shopping. They're like, we want that one. Yeah. But they just collected me out of a hatch or something. I don't know where it. It was a children's hospital, they called it. I think it's an orphanage really.

But you were just giving a baby. When did she tell you you were adopted? I always knew. So it was like a story, you know, a nighttime story. And it was all about love. Everyone loves you so much that everyone just loves you and wants you to be loved the most and you're so loved and all. Just briefly, how are you like in New York?

Oh my God, I love it. It's actually given me a kind of, of a lust for stand-up again. Not that I was jaded, but I think doing the tour, you're doing the same show, so many nights that I'd forgotten the crack of just being in the clubs

and watching other comics. I'm not really around other comics anymore because I'm touring. So I was like, I could come over here. I reckon I'd write a show quicker here than in London. Well, I think when you see a scene where there's like, there's creativity going on and you're like,

oh, where do I fit in here? Where can I add to this? Yeah. And who can I, you know, learn from or... It was like starting a new school. I'm excited. Wait, can you tell everyone your observation about the street? Because that made me laugh so hard.

What did I say? When I sent you the photo of the street. And you were sending your mom photos of the street. Oh, the school buses and all. The smoke coming out of the floor. The smoke coming out of the floor. What is it? What is that smoke?

I don't know. And nobody knows, but it's just there. Steam that comes out of the road. Yeah, it looks like, you know, there's like a genocide happening. but no one cares I'm like don't worry about that just close your nose

when you walk by but they it's because you're raised on it's because New York is so many things are set in New York it's like walking

onto a film set I literally I had to wait till I found a school bus with no kids in it because I was like I don't have to be I don't look like a

beautiful and I found one parked and I was videoing the school bus because it was like a tyrannosaurus Rex in the wild I just couldn't

get my head around it it's like a sick car it's like walking onto the out of a sitcom. Yeah, well, you were saying you watched sex in the city growing up. And, like, if you lived here for a little, like, you'd literally be living that life of sex in the city. Like, going doing a show, going to get a cocktail afterwards with the girls. And then some guy, remember, I remember, was it, when they went to that club bed, did you watch it? Yes, club bed. And then Berger's friends were there and Carrie's like, oh my God, is no other club opening

tonight? I never forgot it. That's so New York where they find, like, the weirdest thing of the moment. Is there no other club opening to me? Love sex and food so much. I remember once my mother was like, if I hear that theme shun one more time, because I bought the box at and I, she, every, just over and over. It's the only dopamine hit you can get. And you were a writer, so it works. Okay, this has gone really happy. Let's get back dark, because this is too positive.

Please. We're going to play a game. Self-loathing. All right, yeah. We're going to play a game called The Seven Deadly Sins. What are you greedy about? Oh. Ooh.

I can be a bit greedy about men. Ooh. Yeah. Like you, you're not like, I'm over it. You like to have men. I've had different. Men. Man.

I like to have men. I've had different types of relationships and some relationships haven't brought out the best in me. Yeah. And I felt like I was greedy in those situations. but then also they weren't really gave me what I needed it was complicated but I can be definitely

like I'm quite territorial I think sometimes and I can be a bit greedy with men and booze I'm greedy with booze that's liquor to you but it's funny because

I feel like in it's such like a cultural thing being good at drinking in Ireland and there's a thin line between like being good at drinking and then being like too good at drinking where you're like, is this too good? It's like drinking's the only thing

if you're really good at people recommend you stop doing us. Like I hang out with you at brunch and I had no point was I like, oh, she was completely sober sounding and I was like, this is the most impressive feat I've ever seen at a brunch. Me and Brandon Courtney and yeah, we were originally like Bloody Mary's wine.

Bloody Mary to me is so heavy. I took like two sips and I was like, oh. It's like ramen. It's soup. Yes. But you, so when you came, because the nights you came to Bisseco and then after, and it's going to have a glass champagne. And people like you fascinate me because she'll sit there with a glass of champagne and I'll go to top her up. And I've drying my whole glass and she has any, it's like you, it's like no interest in it.

I forget I have it. Yeah, you see, I would net. That's like when people say I forgot to eat. I can't get my head around that. See, I'm notoriously as like Italian descent, everything was about food growing up in a good way. Like food is love, food is sharing. I look forward to meals If you're like

Do you want to hang out I go let's get food Yeah But like drinks I always like I lose my wit When I get too drunk Like I'm like

Like that's me When I get drunk Same doesn't stop me though And then like I'm peeing And I don't like having to pee No you're just not a drinker And like

It's not a good drinker You're so lucky You are so lucky Drinking Be careful what you wish for Drinking Trills me Like it makes me

Like the pop of a wine bottle I am there But that's why I think the Express... I love it. I love the chance. The Proseco Express is so fun because it's like, you're on stage and you just look like you're having the time of your life, you're drinking afterwards. Sometimes stand-up could be like so much work, but it's fine in between because people have too much fun with the drinking.

Yeah. It's like not sustainable in a career like stand-up. Yeah. So there was definitely a point in the tour that I was like, okay. I want to live to see the next show. Yeah, it's like, this isn't physically sustainable. What do you do for your hangovers? The problem is, I don't really.

really got hangovers. Now, I had one, I had one really bad one in New York, actually, remember I was saying to you. Yeah. I don't know how that happened. I miscalculated. I don't know how that happened. But, and it was vicious. You might have been a little jet like. Salpidine. Who are you envious of? Oh. And it could be a type of person too. I'm envious of. Do you know what I'm really envious of? Tidy people, organized people. Same. Yeah, I just don't have that Whatever that

People who like to relax They just clean Whatever that Must be nice Whatever that is I just don't have that I'm also envious of people like you Who have no interest in drinking

I genuinely am like Because especially you As a comic Because you're surrounded by booze all the time And it's such a boozy lifestyle I will get more stressed out When people like want me to drink And I'm like I don't know

I know But but But like when the That's why I haven't Donner to you. When the vibe is right, I'm down. But yeah, like, if people push me to drink, I get annoyed. Yeah. But like, I'll drink, but I need to, you need to let me go on my pace like a bird. Like a big. Yeah, you just nibble. And I am that person, though, like, if we're like, oh, we're going to fucked up tonight, we'll be at the pregame and I'll be at 12. Everyone else is out of three. They're like, Hannah, you've pulled me aside. Hadda, you need to calm it down. So, like, I've fucked up with my drinking plenty of times in college. But that's why the job, remember at Baltimore, I was like, I'll get this. Because you and Dad's cost by 20 quick because he's down drink. And then Brandon, got in the end, but I was like, no, guys, I'll get this. I couldn't be with a sober guy if I, if I enjoyed drinking more, like, you want to be with someone who's like, they like going out, they like doing the bars. Yeah. It's not even a conversation with Des and I, which makes

it work. Yeah, but exactly. It does work. If you were like, thrown it back. Or if you were with a guy who like really couldn't be around someone who drinks, like Des, he's great with a lot. Yeah. But like, two guys, two people who are not great at drinking together, like drinking a lot, the fights that it caused. I know. It definitely does. You need a have, like, good drinking chemistry? Big time. You always get a bit scrappy when you're drinking. That is a problem.

A little, a little pokey pokey poke. Just trying to glass. And then you wake up and you're like, mm-hmm. That was so nice. What? I only had a gin and sonic. Do you want to glass to man?

What? Your glass is a Carol. I'm always glassing Carol. Like the way you say your friend's name Carol makes me laugh so hard. Carol. When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or

anger? What time is that? Not that long out but I do think I can't I'll keep that to myself.

I'm making my stereotypes but I think the Irish are great at like like being like fuck off but they're like joking kind of

like they're not too polite And I love that as a New Yorker. I think, yeah, I think New Yorkers are the same. For sure. Yeah. Like, we always joke that, yeah, you'd be like, shut the fuck up and we'll laugh. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When was the last time you were a sloth, so lazy, you just let yourself sleep all day? About two days ago. Actually, the other night I was, and again, I don't know if it was jet lagger, the fact that we all went drinking. Well, you didn't, you just sat there, but sat there and watched. I was just like an angel. But the next day And I was like

It's the chat line No I'm just sitting there Trying to cope with my Sober anxiety Because I sometimes break the day into two So if I'm when I'm touring And you do the same But there's a nap

You get up in the day You do your bits and bobs Then there's a nap And then you get back up And you go out and you gig I love talking to you Because I do feel like When you have a lack of structure

To your day Sometimes you could feel like Because you can do nothing If you want I know And then you start feeling really lazy But also when we're doing nothing. A lot of time we have stuff at night.

Yeah. But you think, oh, that's night. I'm going out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a thing. But it's like being a bartender. Like, we have this full-time night job. And sometimes I have to be better at separating the days and being like, the morning is rest. Yeah, no guilt, no shame. No guilt, no shame. The other day, so obviously I'm in New York and I slept all day and stayed in that night and didn't gig. And I felt so guilty because I think it's New York. I should be like auditioning for Broadway or something. What should I be doing? I should be in Times Square. I've gone to Miami

and not even went outside before just because I'm gigging and I'm tired Yeah, that's the thing I've seen sun before Okay, I've seen a palm tree But that's why I was like, I love Hanuk She's like, I'm just gonna nap now And I'm like, I'm already doing that babe

See you later We don't, me and my friend Paige We're so good because we never pressure each other To do anything And it's like respect for each other To be like I'm not going to make you feel less than Because you don't want to physically go anywhere

Who doesn't love a cancellation? We're emotionally exhausted And also we're on a lot Like I can't wait tonight We'll just lay down Not talk Yeah It'll be gorgeous

Are we laying down He's laying down Are we're getting in the same club tonight We are Yeah When was last time You let your pride Or your ego get in the way of something

Actually I do think And this is definitely not true But I'm going to say it I think I have A handle on ego. I've seen I have one.

Yes. But I think I know, like I went the therapist too actually did ghost me in the end. He was brilliant. But, I miss him. We were talking about something.

I was ranting about someone, something, whatever. And he was like, Juan, this is all ego. And I was like, yeah, but I was kind of trying to justify my position. I was like, everyone has an ego.

Everyone has an ego. It's called existing. Exactly. And people feel snubbed in certain situations. And it is all ego. And he goes, yes, everyone has an ego, but you've been blasted with a very large one. And I was like, whirr. When he's sassy I know But I don't think I didn't take it I didn't take it as a negative really

Because I think in the job You definitely need a bit of delusion Yes To get up there and basically Down your hell And think he did a good job On occasion Sometimes that happens

You have to just kind of You have to have the inner strength to You have to be psychotic To go up bomb And then the next day Be like I think there's still something there I think I'm gonna make it There was only a couple of people crying

at the end. I think I did a good job. I'll go again. They did have to close the club after my set because no one could ever. There's been some threats. There's been some bomb threats. There's asbestos now after that bad joke, but it's fine. But I also think going from doing gigs and people not knowing who are, and you're still Joanne, and then like a year later, you have a great podcast and you're doing gigs and suddenly people are like, she's God's gift to comedy. Well, no. And it said that to me, in front. That's not one of the quotes next year. I'll be putting that my poetry. Yeah, Hanna burner. God's gift to comedy. The nativity set of comedy. Um, I feel like there's, I could see how people

would become divas. Like, I could see. Yeah. I see how you can decide like your time is more important than everyone else. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I see how you could detach from who you really are to be like, I'm just a famous person now. Yeah. Because you don't have to deal with your ship. Yeah. I think the nice thing is, if you come in later, it's a good grounding. Like, I had a job. I had an office job. Like, you know, I've had, I worked in Chinese restaurants. Like, I've worked. I've had jobs. Yeah. I didn't come from drama school into stage. Any of that. There was, I lived a very You weren't discovered as a kid who really was told, like, you are a star. No. I do think also your comedy is interesting because you've experienced so much life. Because at some point with comedy.

Not that old, Hannah. Someone of your age To be trying comedy What were the dinosaurs like? It was the famine I laughed at famine. The famine I just needed to work

But you know these people At a high school start Because I would argue Like because I had other careers That I have different reference points And it makes your comedy more interesting Because sometimes if you just get famous Then you're like

You know when you're like at the award show And everyone's like That's not relatable I think when I look at celebrities though who were like super famous I think they honestly look very lonely I don't envy that lifestyle I really don't it's good that you've established

like friend group like my friends keep me like they just shit on me all the time yeah that's a chinny like I'll walk in I'll be like I need a chai latte and they'll be like shut the fuck up yeah and that will keep you

I'm like I can't perform without a chai latte and they're like well that's your problem you need a reality check that's you need you've got a chip on your shoulder yes yes so having the people around you who see you for you and aren't just like yes people yeah yeah yeah I love just envisioning like we're like Mariah Carey at our gigs just like how would you but like if you are

just say you are Mariah Carey yeah at that level of fame no one talks to you how can you be normal how can you how can you're so right hey girls what's when you're when you're when you're when you're told you're different and special all the time I guess you just believe it don't you fame they say is like it's a thin line between like incredibleness but like a sickness. I think it builds, I think it creates narcissists. We were talking about, like, I feel like there's a golden level of fame, and then it's downhill. It's almost like when people win the lottery, how they say like a certain amount of money makes you really happy, but then too much. Yeah. Okay, final fucking question.

Yeah. When you're going through your hell, what advice would you give to the listeners? Whatever your hell is, when it's tough, Joanne, with who she is now, how do you get through it? I don't, I don't, I haven't, I haven't been in hell in ages. I haven't been, I haven't been, I haven't been in hell. I was there for a while, but I'm totally out of now. I guess you've been in like, you've been in, like, you've been in, like, you've been in, I don't, stop moaning. Because when you're traveling a lot, you do get tired and you do get a bit ratty and you're like, Joanne, stop moaning. Like, you love your job. Fucking get up, get up on that stage and dance. like the little bitch that you are. But you know what I did do in fairness for all my flaws

when I started doing when I started doing comedy and I sensed there was something in it for me I really backed myself then and I was like right this is it

eyes on the prize go go go go now at the time I was single I've no kids I was able to just put everything in it but I did back myself

and then that got me out of the hell that I was in I basically just swapped one mental illness for other It's not bulimia for comedy. But like the kind of like self-negativity talk that you had towards your bulimia,

you almost twisted it to be like, actually, I'm going to love myself and, yeah, support myself. Yeah. And be my biggest cheerleader. Yes. And make myself feel valuable with something that has nothing to do with my appearance. Do you get me? Yes. Joanne, you're fucking amazing.

Where can people listen to you? Follow you. give me all the tea. Juan McNally comedy on Instagram and my therapist ghosted me is the podcast

that I co-hosted with Vow Williams. If you guys love Giggly Squad I highly highly highly recommend my therapist ghost to me.

A lot of people messaged me about Giggly Squad when they saw you and me were hanging out they're like oh my God

Giggly Swat oh also I'm doing shows in Boston and Chicago on the 12th and 13th May those tickets

will be on sale by the time this guys out oh yes jump on that jump on that and my therapist ghost to me

is probably going to come over the pond soon I'd say I will, yeah. Yeah, definitely, it actually definitely will, but definitely does in New York, I think. Yeah. Yeah.

Amazing. Follow her Instagram. Her TikTok will be popping soon. We're working on it. Oh yeah, Hannah's giving me tips. Sometimes I feel like I'm like in my late 80s. No, you're not. I'm like, I don't want to go on TikTok.

It's just kids lip-sinking. But you know what I did know is a loy American comics. They're big into clips and really promoting themselves and stuff, which is quite inspiring because I, I'm not great at that now, I have to say. But it's, you have a. incredible momentum and I highly recommend everyone see her live because that's way more fun than a clip. Thank you guys for coming to hell today and we'll talk to you later. Bye.