Berner Phone - John Paul Jones: Romeo & Just Making Him Uncomfortable

Episode Date: January 8, 2020

Hannah tortures JPJ and makes him recite Shakespeare to her, he explains what happened to him and Tayshia, how he hates his voice, where he stands with Derek Peth, why he quit his financial analyst job and moved to Hollywood to become an actor, how he’s getting over his heartbreak, his type, what he was like in high school, if he ever sends nudes, and how he’s changed since The Bachelorette. Get 20% off CBDforlife.us with the code HANNAH20 I FORGOT TO PRESS RECORD THE FIRST 10 MIN BUT I FILMED IT ON MY PATREON AND IT WAS HILARIOUS AND SAD LISTEN HERE --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys, this is Hannah Burner. I have John Paul Jones on. J.B.J. and I started. We've been talking for about 10 minutes. I didn't press record. You guys missed some gold, but I'm going to put the video from the beginning of it that did play on the Patreon. So you guys can go to patreon.com slash burning in hell. It's $5 a month.

You get a lot of good shit. And that is where the last file is going to be. I'm so excited. I was really mean to you that first 13 minutes. It's okay. I get it. It's kind of your thing. It warmed him up. It warmed him up. And I'm so proud of this episode.

Oh, yeah. Welcome to Burning in Hell. I'm with the iconic in Hell. I'm with the iconic John Paul Jones. J.P.J. Welcome. Hello, hello. Thank you for having me. We're going to get even deeper right now. Oh, man. Oh, gosh. I can't deal with this woman. You're crazy.

Oh, my gosh. All right, let it rent. Let's go. Let's get it out of the way. I want to begin. John Paul Jones and I are connected because we have the same manager and his manager, well, our manager force him to come on my podcast. And I want to show you exactly how I

started my long-term relationship with John Paul Jones. We've had a couple fights up until this moment. There was an Insta story. It said, would you kiss a dude who almost memorized Shakespeare for you? Almost memorized Shakespeare for you. And then I wrote, I think I love John Paul Jones and his inability to form sentences. And we have... It was...

Yeah, dude. Oh, dude. So hard to watch. It's all good. You got you to recite Romeo and Juliet to me again. Oh, God. But, like, do it well this time. Okay, wait.

What were the lines that I repeated to Tatia? It is she that enriches the hand of yonder night, for she teaches the candles to burn bright something by not taking a place to stand. You could just, I know, I know, that's all I got at the moment. I want you to murder me and us to die together. Oh, we'll show me the very very. out of poison and allow us to indulge. Okay, I'm turned on right now.

Do you, what's going on with you in Tasia right now? We just kind of decided to go our separate ways and, you know, I think there's some healing that needs to be had on, at least my side. I hope she's doing well. Are you heartbroken? I mean, it was just a rough experience, you know. You know, I moved out to L.A. hoping to, you know, continue our relationship and, you know, and just unfortunately it didn't work out.

And, yeah, I just need some space at the, you know, I just need some space at the moment. moment. I just think we tried to move very quickly in the environment in which we met. Well, yeah, that environment will speed up everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it just, you know, I think there are, you know, a series of steps that you have to, I think relationships take time. Yeah. Like, I think if you skip over some, you know, I think that the show does a good job of, like, trying to make, like, relationships work. But, like, you just, it cuts out a lot. of um real life situations yeah a lot of those like um i don't know a lot of those like real steps that i i don't think uh can happen on the show it makes you feel better as an older and

wiser person i'm 28 years old i know i don't look it but i am do you think i look 28 you could be 28 you could be 22 you could be 19 you could be 32 i mean 19 that's kind of creepy uh no it's not i know you're like 24 25 Oh, big talk. Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. I think that if it's meant to be, you can't fuck it up. So I don't think he's anything wrong. But what did you learn from it is the important thing?

What did you learn from your relationship with her? Yeah, I think some things just take time. Like, I really think that, you know, again, while the show does a great job of like trying to make, you know, trying to expedite the relationship, I think you need to take time. And some of those, you know, critical. inflection points in the relationship. I think you just should have proposed

and then locked her in and then she's stuck with you. Then you have kids and then you get divorced and then you have to pay for the kids' therapy for a long time. No, no, no. There would have been even more animosity on either side. Yeah. And it just would have worsened the whole situation.

Do you guys use condoms in the house? Again, I don't talk about my personal life. Yeah, he just talks about it a little bit on TV. But I want to talk about your voice for a second, speaking of talking. Oh, gosh. Why are you insecure about your voice? I don't know. I just am. Wouldn't you see yourself on TV? Don't you cringe a little bit? Oh, 100%. It's disgusting. I hate it, especially when you have a vulnerable moment. I was like, why didn't anyone tell me I sound like that? Oh, I know.

Even the way you look on TV is different. Wouldn't you agree? Like you've seen angles of my face that I have never seen before. I mean, you watch yourself puke on TV. Oh, gosh. I know. I know. I don't know why I signed up for it. Okay, there's a rumor that, like, the cast kind of knew that you didn't like spicy foods.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think that they were trying to prank you? No, I do like spicy foods. It was actually because I was buddies with, I don't know, I was friendly with the guys that were working in the kitchen. And, I don't know, they just kind of like to mess with me a little bit. And, you know, I like to be an overly dramatic person at. See, you made yourself puke. No, well, well, not exactly, kind of.

I don't know. I was just in a weird, I was just in a weird situation. And again, I didn't feel comfortable, you know, like expressing my feelings on camera in front of a lot of people. So I kind of leaned in my anxiety a little bit at the time. And that, you know, in addition to, like, there was this sauce called the Gringo Killer Sauce. It was really hot.

Well, I brought a jalapeno pop. today for you to eat. No, did you really? No, I don't, I'm not that prepared for these things, clearly. I have no preparation. I don't know. After getting to know you in the last half hour, I have nothing, nothing really surprises. He's been put on a world win.

I basically was rude, very rudely mean to him for five minutes that did not get filmed. And now we're friends. Oh, tell me what you're really insecure about, how. Oh, yeah. I'm coming back to you. Don't worry. That question's coming out. I ask him when he's insecure about he's like, I don't know my voice.

You remind me of the Rick. guy if he had a baby with Hercules. Oh, gosh. Because, like, you're, like, hot, like, Greek god-esque. You look like you could have written the Declaration of Independence, like, you're that white, but then you also look like you could be a very dumb surfer. And I'm trying, we still don't know. Where are you on the spectrum of, like, really smart, nerdy?

I mean, it fluctuates, you know, when I stay out until 5 a.m., I would definitely say I lean into that dumb surfer ego. Yeah. You know, I suppose I have. And, you know, I was a financial analyst for two years. Oh, yeah. My brother's a financial analyst. Oh, no way.

You guys are fucking nerds. Oh, man. It's a good job, but I'm really excited to be doing what I'm doing right now. Okay, so this is a moment of like your, what? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop trying to turn this on me. I can tell you trying to turn this on me right now. I'm just curious.

What? What did you do before TV? Oh, my God, you're so cute. You want to learn about me? Guys, do you see what he just did? He asked a girl a question. How do I, how do I deal with this? Like, if I rebuttal your sarcasm, then I'm going to, like, I can't win.

It's impossible. I told him to be mean back to me. You set me up when you put me on this. Like, I'm not allowed to be rude to her because you could just turn on me. It's an unfair balance of power. You guys, Jay. My manager just said you could be rude to her. That's why I keep her around.

But I just, I just feel weird about it. No, well, we, I came in. Maybe I'm insecure about that. I don't want to, like, I can't like rebuttal, you know, some of the dirty, I asked you earlier if you think you have swag. And the fact that you. had the knowledge to be like, I'm obviously going to lose in a back and forth with her because she's much wittier and funnier than me.

But if I ask her a question, then she'll get distracted and forget to be mean to me. And that was a great swerve. Men, if you're listening, take some notes. He might be young and have a funny voice, but he is a little smart. I was a tennis player and then I went into sales and I went to marketing. And then I decided I want to get into video. Oh, wow. And then now I just talk into microphones and I'm mean.

to men. Oh, nice. Oh, that works. Hey, I mean, we were pretty mean to you guys for what the last up till recently. Yeah. You just let us vote. So. Pretty much all of history. So. Oh, my God. I'm starting to like you more. In the beginning, I wasn't sure. I mean, I get it. I get it. But I'm still struggling to like rebuttal like what you're thrown out. But whatever. It's okay. I think you're doing much better than a lot of people. Maybe you might be doing better than Derek. Who knows? Derek, I just tear apart that poor man. He doesn't know if he hates. me or loves me. Actually, once Derek saw me throw up, speaking of throwing up, I threw up like on Derek once

on my birthday. Oh, no way. I know I look really classy, but sometimes I throw up. Anyway, so what are you? So I want to know, I don't think. You have no shame. You're dangerous. I don't know why I agree to this.

You really just don't give a damn. I admire it. It's cool. Are you flirting with me? No, I'm just saying. I wish I could have... He's floated with me. No.

Are you falling in love with me right now? Oh, my gosh. Lizzie, you totally set me up. Oh, my gosh. I should have listened to one of these before we're getting on here. Your research next time, he goes, what's this about? And I was like, I don't know. I can be very witty.

However, you kind of, like, I will say that you're kind of suck in the energy out of this place. With all due respect and, you know, it's getting... Like, it doesn't really give me a lot of, like, wiggle room, but I'm, I will say that, you know, I do have more of a knack for, like, situational, like, comedy, just kind of, like, reading the situation of the room. I don't know if you saw The Bachelorette at all. Did you? Yeah, I said something. So there was a, there was a, there was a scene. I don't like that tone, but continue.

Yeah, no. No, it's, I didn't know. Look, there was a, there was a scenario on the Bachelorette where, I don't know if you remember Cam and Jonathan, they were sort of going out of each other and arguing about, you know, not getting time with Hannah. And there was a big pile of chicken nuggets. and to break up sort of the tension, I very, what is it? Bravely? No, no, just very blatantly. You know, I made a big deal out of reaching over and getting a chicken nugget while they were yelling on each other.

And I interrupted them and said, guys, do you want some chicken? That's cute. Have you guys tried these chicken nuggets? It just started blatantly just stuffing them in my face, eating them. And I don't know, I think people really like that a lot. But anyway, it was a good moment. That's a good moment. I actually want to apologize to you because I just realized I only watched one episode

of The Bachelor. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I get it. But I watched the full Bachelor in Paradise because my friend Derek was on it. Are you guys still, is he still your arch nemesis? What's going on? No, no.

There were just a few things that really like set me off during Paradise. I'm not going to get into it. Just out of respect for him. But I really don't have anything against him. It was just kind of a high pressure situation. I think we were both, like, really into Tasia, but there were some behind the scenes things that really set me off.

I love when people are like, shit happened, but I'm not going to tell you. It's like, the friend of Coltsman's like, I have to tell you, and you're like, fuck you,

I can tell me that. Anyway, I'm calm. I'm good. I'm relaxed. I'm a little worked up. So, oh, no, no, this is fascinating to me because I have you on this podcast right when you've decided pretty much,

like you're going to stop doing your, financial analytical stuff when you're analyzing numbers or whatever the fuck you guys do to go to Hollywood what how does your gut feel what's your intuition telling you? Oh it's very it's very nerve-wracking

and it's extremely unpredictable and it's a big risk but I don't know I'll never get the opportunity you know I'm only 25 once you know I've only been on a reality TV show you know I've only been on a reality TV show once and you only get this sort of opportunity once so I mean I think you'd be foolish not to take a little

risk, little life detour. I, as someone on reality TV, who's now like getting into comedy and stuff, do you, you're kind of getting into acting now? Yeah, so I studied a little bit of acting in college. So finance was my major, but every elective I took was an acting course. And what brought you more joy? Definitely acting. I just think I have a more so of a, like an inherent aptitude for it.

Finance is great. I can do the work. I can suck it up and grind it out. and do a good job. So if we get married and I get really rich, you can be my sugar daddy and just do all my financials for us? I suppose, you know, like I could manage the personal finances, you know, maybe, you know, and pick a decent, you know, index fund to invest our, you know, money.

Yeah. Not really, did the whole like day trading thing in college, but, you know, not as much anymore. We'll have someone else handle our trading. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We will. What advice do you have for people that are like in hard?

Break, because you're still, you're on my podcast, which is probably the biggest thing you've done in your career. So congratulations. You're clearly doing things right now. How do you keep working on yourself while also getting over a heartbreak? Yeah. I think the best thing to do to give over a heartbreak is to just cut the, you know, it's going to sound harsh, but cut the other person out of your life. You know, stop looking at their Instagram. Don't text them, respect the fact that they want to do their own thing and find them, give them a little bit of poison. put them in the basement, cut up their limbs. Use a freezer. Use a freezer. If it smells, it's because you didn't put it in the freezer. And then strategically take the limbs

and put it into different lakes in the Midwest. Oh my gosh. Oh, man. So that is how you get over your ex, everyone. That's what I do, at least. Yeah. No. It sounds, yeah.

What's like your type? What's your type besides dead? What's your type? No, I'm just kidding. Oh, my. What's your type of girl? Yeah. I don't really have one.

You know, I think just chemistry is, you know, one of the most important things. And I think, excuse me, attraction. Are you going to puke on my podcast? No,

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I just started sipping the Red Bull a little quickly. This podcast is sponsored by Red Bull. John Paul Jones needs it to form sentences. Let's see if you can do it.

God. You're the worst. I, like, can't tell if I, like, love you or I'm just, like, mean to you because of my own issues. I can't tell you. I get it. Like, whatever. You're insecure about a few things. I'm insecure that I don't know how to use podcast.

I, like, literally been trying to produce my podcast on my own. And John Paul Jones came in, and I was so fucking confident. And I was on my shit. And I was just like, weird, witty. And, I mean, like, I'm on it. Don't do this to yourself. For, like, three minutes, I was so in my head and I wanted to die. I literally.

brought John Paul Jones here and did not press record for 13 fucking minutes. And I'm saying this because I'm letting you guys know I, I know I seem very confident, but I have insecurities and I'm perfectionist. I'm very hard on myself. But in this moment, I'm going to let it out and we're moving on. And I'm having empathy for myself in this moment. Okay. Anyway, John Paul, right?

Yeah. That was hot, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's just the thoughts going on to my head. It never ends. It's really annoying. So why do you like acting?

I don't know. It's just, it's a lot of fun. Like, I grew up loving movies. It's always been an escape for me. And, you know, I can certainly say that, you know, during the heart, you know, the hardest, like, points in my life, I would just go back and think to, you know, some of those, you know, scenes that really moved me. So, I don't know, it's just been, it's just been an escape for me. Can you tell me a scene that really you love to watch when you're down there? Yeah, sure. So, uh, we've all seen the Shawshank Redemption. Great movie. Yeah. So that, that moment where, you know, the audience. is unsure whether or not Andy Dufrein is contemplating suicide. You know, we all think, you know, he's going to do it. He got the six foot rope from, you know, one of his friends. And we're just left in suspense, you know, wondering, like, oh, my God, like, he's been in here for 19 years.

Like, is he really just going to, like, kill himself? You know, he's really, like, he's kind of running the prison and, you know, he's really established himself. And the music that plays at the moment is just, you know, when he's crawling through the tunnel of, you know, sewage, I mean, it's just, uh, you know, it's just, uh, you know, you know, it's just a very impactful scene because, you know, you really are happy for Andy because he's really like, I mean, he's been in prison for 19 years and, um, in wrongfully, you know, he was wrongfully, um, you know, incarcerated. And, uh, you know, you just, you know, you just feel so happy for him. So, you know, whatever I'm, you know, uh, in a stressful, you know, I don't know, juncture, uh, you know, I think back to that time where, you know, Andy Dufrein was contemplating like leaving Shawshank, you know, because it was a risky move. They would have killed him, you know, if he'd left. So it was, it was just him exiting and, you know, with the, you know, the orchestra in the background.

It's just such an uplifting, powerful scene. Wow. I don't know, just that image, you know, just always replays in the back of my head whenever I'm, you know, contemplating quitting, you know, something. So it's, I don't know, I think cinema is a powerful tool. Whenever I'm having a bad day, like I recently ordered a chai latte with almond milk and they gave me soy milk, I try to think of those moments. And I'm just like, I should not be bizarre.

right now. I also, that's why I watch murder documentaries because, like, no matter how bad my day was, I'm like, this reminds me it could have been worse. Like, I could be Tasha in a basement right now in Maryland. I'm just kidding. That's a rumor I'm starting. And it's not true. Oh, do you want to hear what my favorite movie is in my favorite scene? Yeah, what is your favorite movie? Wait, first like guess, just like guess. So wait, wait, because we know each other. We've been through a lot as of these last half an hour. We've had ups and downs. We've been on a journey. How to lose a guy in 13 days. That is, first of all, it's 10. First of all, second of all. That is such a stereotype, just because I'm white.

No. My favorite movie, it's up there with Shawshank, Space Jam. Oh, no word. The moment when they're losing and Bugs Bunny takes them and he goes, I have some magic juice. And he puts the water in and he goes, this magic juice is going to make you guys great and then they drink it. And then they beat the monsters. And it was just water. It means you just have to have confidence in yourself.

Guys, this is getting really, really deep right now. When was the last time you were depressed? Oh, man. Geez. Besides when I was mean to you in the beginning. Yeah, no. I don't know. I think depression is sort of like a physical mood that you acquire.

And it comes and goes like a cold wood. Yeah. And I think, I don't know. I mean, I have my moments. You know, like there's a lot of uncertainty what I'm doing right now. And, you know, I can't really like plan for the future. So I, you know, here and there, like, I'll get a night where, you know, it's pretty tough. Well, they say anxiety is being unsure about the future and depressions, being, like, dealing with your past.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the key is, like, trying to live in the moment with these things. Right. You're right. As a financial analyst, you kind of are overprepared for everything you're going to face every day. Well, no, I think you just have a pretty foreseeable, like, career trajectory, right? With this, I mean, there's, everything is very uncertain. And, you know, I think you often, like, question.

you know, whether or not you could have, like, you know, executed, you know, this whole thing earlier or... How does your family think about it? You know, they're very, uh, they're very supportive of it. That's awesome. Yeah, it's cool. You know, I have a, I have a great team. I have the best manager.

Excuse me, on the planet. Whoa! I know. Yeah, come on. I want to play a quick game with you. You're doing amazing. Oh, thank you. It's called heaven or hell.

Okay. Heaven or hell. So heaven or hell being the bachelor. Hell. Why? I don't know. It's, you have to break a lot of hearts.

And, you know, it's impossible to tell who's there for an actual relationship. Versus, you know, a lot of the fallout that comes with the show. Were you there for an actual relationship? I was.

I was. I, you know, wasn't expecting to fall into one, but... How into Hannah were you? I think she's a cute girl, but I don't think, I think we just interpersonally don't really align well. Do you think that because of the competitive nature of, I mean, men and women, just the fact that every day everything was about her and you're watching other guys like her and made you like her more than you would have if you were just at a bar? I think so, but I didn't get too wrapped up. up in that like um like i think it's really you know i what is it um yeah i don't know i knew pretty early on that uh you know there were some guys that really really wanted to marry her like so

there were some guys that were really serious about her from the getco like you saw i don't know if you saw the first episode that luke p wanted her to be the bachelorette the entire time uh like historically speaking the bachelorette is one at the top like two finishers i think she was like more towards the middle of the pack so um um Like I was hoping, you know, Tasha would be the Bachelorette, you know, with all due respect, you know. But, yeah. And I knew, like, my preferences wouldn't, like, suddenly shift. I knew that we were, you know, in this, like, totally cut off environment, you know.

So I knew it, you know, it would be possible to, you know, very subconsciously start to, like, acquire feelings for her. But, like, that, I wasn't, I wasn't there long enough to do that. And, you know, I'm glad I had the run that I did. What were you like in high school? It's a good question I don't know I didn't really take anything seriously till I was 16

Were you like class clown? I don't When I watched You were by far like the best Oh I appreciate it I thought you were so funny You were the only one I've ever like commented on

I've been like this guy is hysterical Like you're truly hysterical Again like I think that I don't know Would you do comedic acting at all Or you like more drama? Definitely. Definitely would do comedic acting.

Because I could see you in like a rom-com for sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm enrolled in an acting class right now. Hell yeah. We study multi-cams sitcoms. Cool. It's very high stakes, like comedy. So like friends, that kind of thing.

Yeah. So anyway, studying that, I think it would be a lot of fun. You're like the modern Chad Michael Murray. Oh, man. Wow. But like with a deeper voice. Oh, I appreciate it. If John Michael Murray had sex with a bariton.

That's all I do You have the best laugh, though I just like making him laugh You are so funny Oh my gosh Okay, next question Oh yeah Heaven or Hell

Choking During sex Hell, hell You don't like choking That's just That's a lot I think that's quite excessive I will say

Yeah I mean you're kind of a big guy You're six four which is why we have you on the podcast. Yeah, I just, yeah, that's, uh,

it's definitely, do you, you have a song out? Did you, I do, I do. I released, uh,

three songs, um, regarding, so nobody, so friends giving is a really well-known holiday. Yeah. Nobody's really like, uh,

like, uh, like established, uh, an identity to the holiday. Yeah. Tangibly, right?

There's not, there's not, there's not, there's not, I mean, there's turkey, but, right,

but friendsgiving is its own thing. It's, it's, Very separate from Thanksgiving. There's definitely not a theme song for it. Exactly. So it seemed like a cool thing to do. Can you sing the chorus for us, please?

Yes. I... I will... I'll booty shake in the back. I'll bring... No, no. I'll bring it up. I'll bring it up on YouTube and we can listen to it there.

I'll spare you guys the trauma. He's getting a little shy. Slightly. I just... I don't want to disappoint. you guys. Do you realize? I already disappointed us.

I didn't warm up my vocal cords. I just want to say that if anyone disappointed anyone, I disappointed you today. No, you didn't. You did not disappoint me. Wait, I'm getting another heaven or hell for you. Hold on one second because I want to pull up a different document because I have a lot of sexual related ones

and I don't want anyone to get mad at you because you are a virginal god. A virginal put you on a pedestal. Dating someone who is smarter than you. Oh, heaven. Oh, yeah? Absolutely. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I'm...

Tasha's very smart. She's, yeah, she's very... Sorry for bringing her up. I don't want to make you upset. No, don't worry about it. It's all good. You're starting to cry right now and it's just, I didn't want to make you cry during this podcast. Oh, I appreciate it.

Okay, I don't want to make you cry. I just want to make you uncomfortable. I love it. I love it. This is so much fun. I'm having fun, like, feeling uncomfortable. They say life is being comfortable. comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Heaven or hell, cold shower. Heaven. I knew you'd be one of those. I don't know. It wakes you up, you know, like sometimes feeling comfortable after you wake up. It just makes me want to go back to bed. Like, don't you want to go back to bed after seeing a warm shower? Yeah, so I sleep all day.

I literally sleep all day. I take showers and sleep. Yeah, I love sleeping. I'm going to go home and sleep after this podcast and cry myself to sleep. Why? I didn't press record for 10 minutes. No, stop it. Do you like to FaceTime, Heaven or Hell?

Oh, heaven for sure. Oh, you're a facetimer? But you like, I have a pretty small group of people that I FaceTime. Yeah, you know what I mean? You have your FaceTime friends. Yeah, you have your very like passive, you know, social friends. And then you have like your close-knit friends. Even some of my close friends, I don't FaceTime, but I have some who like, we will just

obnoxiously FaceTime all the time. I was in the subway FaceTiming the other day. No way. Yeah, I'm inappropriate. Um, do you ever send nudes? Uh, never. Oh, damn. Our managers and I'll kill both of you.

Can we have a sex tape? Would that be good? I know. We have to get a little bigger before we get. Everyone would be like, God damn it. We don't want to hear just JPJ going, huh. Oh my God.

Um, okay. Heaven or hell, living on a farm with just goats for a year. Oh, heaven. I'm into that too I know it sounds so much fun Because goats are cute I know they're great And like don't you ever get tired of the honking

And you know the sirens going off And the people yelling on the sidewalk as they walk by Those are all the noise that my brain normally has In the given day I like I like the buzz of New York But I want to be able to get away Like when I'm older I just want to like paint

I know it's so nice Do you like cats? I hate cats Okay then that is the end of the podcast Thank you for coming. I'm just kidding. I love cats. Lizzie!

Okay, cats are amazing and I'm not going to get into it. I have like a 10-minute set and stand-up about cats. You have done amazing. We have one more final game that we're going to play. Oh, my gosh.

Are you ready? Yeah. And it is called The Seven Deadly Sins. Oh. What are you greedy about? Who, man, you're really asking me to... Answer questions on a podcast, yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

I suppose we all want a lot of money, right? So you like money? Yeah, I suppose it doesn't. But you quit your financial technology, whatever job. I know, in pursuit of other things, right? So, I mean, there are other opportunities elsewhere. I would argue as an entrepreneur, you don't have like a glass ceiling on your head, so you can really go further than a predictable career. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly. Like this, yeah, the sky's certainly the limit in terms of like what you can accomplish. And yeah, I'm just, I will say that I think I really like to have money. I'm pretty strict with, you know, how I spend it and, you know, I don't know anything about numbers. I'm a purely creative. That's why I don't know how to click buttons or any of that. Who were you envious of? Oh, gosh.

So I met this guy the other night. He doesn't drink coffee. He gets two hours of sleep every night. He works 100 hours a week at Goldman Sachs. I really wish that I could do that. But like I need at least like five hours of sleep is the cutoff for me. I need nine to ten. Yeah, really.

Yeah. No way. I'm a panda. Panda sleep 22 hours a day. I like to sleep a lot. But I always argue, like, are those people happy? Yeah, I don't know. But he just grinds it out.

Like, he, I mean, he's working all the time. He's not going to work and going on his phone and, you know. Or does he just have a work addiction that he should talk to a therapist about? No, it's just, the standard is just very high for where he works. And so it's just, you have to grind it out where he is. But I also think with, like, creativity, if I have, like, no sleep and I'm, like, grinding too hard, I don't always feel as free. Oh, same.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Uh, I totally get there. but like I suppose he has one of those professions where creativity is not really like required yeah you know but I envy his discipline yeah it's very admirable but did you play a sport um I I did so I was pretty competitive in track in high school I broke two minutes in the 800 and wow and decided that like that was as far as I wanted to go with my track career

because I'm on top you know what and high school you don't have to point at me with your finger that was very aggressive sorry You got excited though. It was cute. What's up? I just wanted to tell you what I was insecure about. In high school, like, I did not like being skinny. And so I don't know, as a track athlete, you have to put in, you know, at least 100 miles a week to be elite, right? Even if you're doing the 800, you have to do that 100 miles a week. Otherwise, you just don't have that distance perspective. And so I just, after high school, I was happy with breaking two minutes in the 800. I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to be competitive in college because it's, I mean, your body. Because you wanted to put down some weight. Well, your body just withers away. And like, I. I just, I just didn't feel comfortable, like, you know, being a hundred... Because you were just burning so many calories and you couldn't take in enough. Were you just eating all the time? Yeah, yeah. Oh, it sucks.

And it's just miserable and, you know, and it's a... You know, it's my dream? What's your dream? To just eat everything all the time. Yeah, mine, too. Like, I actually, like, can't digest carbs. Or spicy foods. Yeah.

What do you mean you can't digest carbs? I don't know, it's just like, you know what? Have you ever made pasta before? You know that, you know how pasta gets very, like, tough and sticky. Do you make pasta? not not regularly but you know when you I'm turned on again no when you I'm never more turned on in my life don't look at me when you when you mix water and flour yeah the you know the dough is this very sticky yeah it's this it's like a cum consistency I know what you're talking

about it's a very it's a very like sticky tough substance right and yeah it's just it's very difficult for your stomach to break down yeah like I don't know it causes a lot of like bowel issues well I think your body's great right now what did you do you do you just kind of grew out of being a teenager? No, so I just got really into lifting in, uh, in college. Like, um, I don't know. Like, I was, you know, I was a competitive athlete in high school and like, I just couldn't go from like, you know, being super, you know, uh, dedicated in a sport, you know, in high

school to not doing anything in college, you know, so I just really, uh, enjoyed being a gym rat. You seem to have a good, a decent work ethic, even though you do get six hours of sleep. Do you think you have a good work ethic? I, I would say so. Do you think that it's going to help you parlay this career? Yeah, because I think that acting is really a craft because, you know, you really, you don't have a lot of time in between when you receive the audition and perform it, right? So, you know, it's minimizing that process and becoming prepared and, you know,

fully acquiring the character's thoughts, you know, in a very short period of time. I mean, it's... You have to be very smart. Yeah, sure. Unless if you're really good looking like you. Sure. sure um no i mean it it's it's it's a process and it you know it takes you know a lot of you know it takes a lot of like self-discovery and learning uh are you afraid of ever being just typecasted

as the reality tv guy and knock it roles or do you think that over time you'll be able to i mean i've gotten you know i've auditioned for you know uh every role across the spectrum you know the stoner surfer to, you know, like the prince, right? So I don't, I don't know. I've had a pretty good variety in what I've auditioned for, but I don't know. Maybe it could happen. Maybe that's why I haven't gotten anything yet. No, I think because people ask me, they're like,

are you afraid that no one's going to take you serious in comedy because of reality TV? And I think nowadays it's like reality TV is just an easy way to get exposure, but it doesn't change who I am. Right, right, right. doesn't change my personality and like my dreams and stuff. And now that we have social media, you can like pitch yourself however you want to be seen. Yeah, exactly.

I'd like to think that, you know, I've rebranded myself a little bit. I don't think you'd look at my Instagram and go, Oh, your Instagram has like no posts on it. It does. I post once a week.

It has like 39 posts. Whatever. Quality over quantity. What's your social media strategy? I'm interested. I don't know. I just post stuff. that's um lizzie just said he posts feet do you post feet photos

i think she saw like one photo i think i was like eating a taco or something you're gonna get and my feet were in the background you're gonna be on wiki feet soon apparently i have four star feet not five because they're a little wide that's what someone wrote no way someone wrote about my feet thank you lizzie um actually i did lose a toenail the other day yeah i have i have tennis feet they're pretty gross oh wait wait wait wait Wait, were your shoes too small? No, I just like, my tenant from like footwork, it was my, my feet were always jamming in. And like, I always had this like fucked up nail and the nail just died off and a new one has emerged.

And that's the meaning of life. You let your past, like Tasia, you killed her and she's died off. No, stop saying that. Gosh. It's so weird. And now you have a new life ahead of you. You have a new nail to live your life. Just saying he did not kill Tasia.

I just think. it's funny because it makes him really upset when I say that. Tasha's still live and well, but you never know because I haven't really seen her in person yet. I just see Instagram photos, which could be repurposed. Lizzie's mad at me for starting this. So, um... So the next...

Tasha's going to DM me and be like, hey, bitch, I don't even know you. Can you stop spreading that rumor? What are you gluttonous about? Experiences. Oh. I love... The most interesting man in the world. No, I mean, I mean, I'll just, you know, if something cool comes up, I will drop whatever I'm doing.

Just if I feel like an intuitive gravitational pull towards it. Like, I don't know, like last night, you know, I was supposed to meet up with, you know, my acting friends and rehearse, you know, FaceTime. But, you know, I met this really cool guy from Goldman Sachs and this, you know, publicist who, you know, showed us around New York. It was a really interesting group of people. And I don't know. I learned a lot from this guy that. I hung out with, and I'm glad I did it. I feel like you like him more than you like me, and I like, I'm kind of jealous right now.

No, no, no, no, no, no. He was just, he was just a cool dude. Like, we, we vibed pretty hard. Did you like make out? I don't know. Did you give him an over-the-pants-hand job? Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry, Robin. Do you get FOMO? Like, if you see your friends having fun. No, I don't. I try to like, I try to live in the moment and I try to do whatever I'm doing. Like, I don't know, I have a rule of thumb. Like, when I'm talking to someone, I'm never on my phone. When I'm talking to something, I give them my full undivided attention. You're an old soul. No, it's just we're really bad at, I'm really bad at multitasking. Like, it's just it, you know, I don't think we're very like good at it. We're definitely not meant to have so much ADD. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think, I don't know, I just think like the whole like, phone thing is like ruined like human human interaction um like i don't know like i just become very scatterbrained and everything like my thoughts become very fragmented and it becomes really you know it kills your productivity what was it like dating a girl that is like big on instagram did you feel like it's because as someone who's how was that uh yeah um it was ah gosh i mean it i don't know

because every time you check your phone you get like a ton of notifications and it's his dopamine hit like you're a cocaine addict. Yeah. Yeah. Again, I don't know. I just, I didn't really have time to like adjust to it. Yeah. But it's, it definitely, it's crazy.

Did taste you like Maryland? She did. Yeah. You know, I think she had planned to move out to New York originally, but, you know, for whatever reason that didn't happen. We were planning on, you know, doing the Maryland New York commute. But I don't know. You guys gave it a try

and I'm proud of you guys Would you in the future Rather date a girl Who's like Instagram famous Or with like Barely any followers Yeah I don't know I just think

I just think the whole Instagram thing Like just adds another layer of uncertainty In the relationship Because people talk about you People comment on your thing And you wonder like how credible You know The information is that they have

Yeah You know Rumors circulate You know from you know I guess being well known And you know It just forces you to be more secure in your relationship

with the other person. It's also where, when you said, like, I don't want to talk about my personal life sometime. I think it's really important to have that layer of, like, you keep certain things to yourself. Right. And then know what to, like, there's important to keep things private in terms of, like, love.

Yeah, yeah. Some things aren't meant for everyone too. Yeah. I do talk about, like, all the blow jobs I've ever given on this. But besides that, I don't talk about love. Gosh. he's joking I'm trying to make him puke this podcast

We're pretty close We're pretty close When I start talking about my big toe He was like No no no But you brought up an interesting point Like you know After being a couple from a reality dating show

People expect you to reveal your entire Interpersonal dynamic That you have with each other And I don't know I think some things are just best kept privately Yeah but then it's hard because People don't like that Yeah, because it's like watching your friend on Facebook post tons of photos of them and her amazing relationship.

And then one day it just disappears and you're like, you told me everything up until this point. You have to tell me the breakup. You have to tell me the details. Did he cheat on you? Did he murder you? What's going on? I have so much murder in this. It's because I'm not allowed to say the F word.

Oh, yeah. Because this is a podcast that is supposed to be behaved. And I keep talking about murder. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My own issues. It's not you, J.P. what is this our culture has an obsession with murder and serial killers i think it's

i um lizzie said she has an obsession with it too i think it's because as women on tv on tv she said it on tv thank you for clarifying that um no but documentaries they're so good and i think it's because if we're so scared of getting murdered if we feel like we understand how people are doing it like i'll be on a date and a guy will like go to the bathroom too long and i'm like oh he's making a bomb or something like that. That's not something people think about. But anyway, when was the last time when was the last time you experienced extreme wrath? So anger. Like, are you an angry dude besides when you're getting mad at Derek Path? Yeah, no, I did, uh, yeah. Well, those who got angry. Extreme anger. Um, it could be something little. Sometimes when you,

when you know, I mean, it's aggravating, you know, not hearing anything back after, I think you can Are you auditioning for stuff right now? I am a little bit. Gotcha. Like it's aggravating when you don't hear anything back. You don't get any feedback. Yeah. You know,

I think that's aggravating because you put a lot of work into these little one minute auditions and you get nothing in a return. That's why auditions are hard, yeah, because you're putting like your heart and soul into it. Yeah.

And then the more that you get rejected, the more you're starting to feel like am I wasting my time. I don't even know I'm doing wrong. Am I just doing the same mistake over and over again? Yeah, yeah. It's really aggravating. Like I really would,

I probably will punch a hole in my wall at some point. White guys love punching holes and walls. I know. I know. It's hot, though. I'm into it. As long as you don't hit, if you just get the dry wall,

don't hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Have you ever punched someone in the face? I haven't. Have you ever been punched in the face? I have. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah.

I thought about it a couple times. When was the last time you were a sloth? Oh, man. It's a good question. I, I, so I pulled it on nighter on Tuesday night. I have this, I'm enrolled in this acting school right now that runs from, what is it, like five at night till, or five till 11, you know, it's really long.

And I don't get home until like one in the morning. And my flight, you know, I had to get up at two for my flight on Wednesday morning. And, you know, didn't sleep at all that night. I flew out to New York. You know, got here, went out, and slept for about 12 hours the next day. I can't remember... But your body needed it. I know, but like, I don't need to sleep more than eight.

I wake up after eight hours. You know, that's the longest my body will typically allow me to sleep. But I slept 12 hours. That's a half a day. I'm proud of you. That's half a day of just not doing anything. But remember... Oh, that sounds amazing.

Remember, I know, but like, there are other people out there that only get two hours of sleep and, you know, accomplish a lot more than we do in the typical day. So you have to keep that in mind. Like, yo, I'm 25, you're 28. Like, we're not getting any younger. Like the clock is ticking. Why are you personally attacking me right now? Personally attacking you.

That was a personal attack on me. Sounds like you have a hard time just accepting the facts. Did I have to wake up in the morning? Yeah. I think you could take some accountability for that. Like nine to ten hours of sleep is that? Can you be my life coach? Life coach.

And my... Vice versa. Please. Gosh. Okay. Now we're like getting along. This is fun. This is the toughest one.

When was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something? thing. Oh, man. Like, do you have an ego? I'd like to think that I, like, don't for the most part, but like, I think, like, we, I think we all do. Yeah. But let me think for a sec.

Wouldn't I let my pride get in the way of something? No, not on the show. Trying to think that you could actually handle hot sauce when you can't. No, no, no. I'll have to get back. I can't think of anything. It's okay. It's okay.

Yeah. What do you, one question. What do you think, like, how did you change the most from when you started the Bachelorette to, like, you sitting here? How have you changed? Yeah. I think, like, I do a very poor job of responding to people now because, you know, you know how it is. Like, I think a lot of people reach out to you. So I think, like, like, my time management can definitely improve because, you know, we're on social media so much and it's a time suck yeah um i think uh you know my my like discipline has eroded

slightly but um i don't know like fundamentally i'd like to think i'm the you know i'm the same guy i still have all the same values yeah you know uh you don't give me any like um big timey vibes no no um you seem very down to earth i to make you feel better like before you go on a show I'm assuming that I felt bad. No, but you're saying, like, how it's hard for you to respond to people. Before I was on a TV show, let's say, like, maybe, like, one or two people would want to get coffee with me a week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the second you get on a show, suddenly...

I know, and I'm very bad at saying no to people. So I have, like, cousins I haven't talked to in a while. And, like, friends from old jobs, people who just met me, people who know people. The amount of people that reach out to you to get coffee. And, like, there's nothing wrong with them asking, but it's, like, New York City. I don't think New York City's assholes, but when you're rocking around and it's so saturated, you can't say good morning to everyone. So when I check my phone and I have five people that want to get coffee. Yeah. And then I'm like, who do you start responding to? Who do you

prioritize? And then they think you're like big-timing them and it's like one thing I've noticed. One thing I've noticed since being on a reality show is that everyone wants to be your friend suddenly where before like a go to a party. It's cool. It's fun. I was never that good at making friends because I'm kind of a bitch. But now like everyone wants to be my friend. and I don't know how to handle it because I don't want to hang out with people. I want to hang out along with my cat and fall asleep and not have someone judge me when I sleep too long. I love it. I love it. I love it. You agree?

Yeah. No, I totally agree. Like, yeah, it's hard to, you know, I mean, it's really hard to share yourself with others when you're really busy. And especially when it's like, do you guys really want to hang out or you just want to kind of tell people like, yeah, Han and I cut up. We talked about the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I have time for that shit. Basically what I'm saying is don't text me anymore, people. When was the last time you lusted over someone? Like, do you have a celebrity crush?

Yeah. So, historically, it has been Jennifer Aniston, but recently, Galgado emerged onto the scene. Oh. Ever since Wonder Woman, she's just so... She's, like, iconic. You would date Galgado. No, people kept messaging me, and they're like, you remind me of Galilee. Godot and I was like, I know J.P.J. is obsessed

with me because I look like Galgadoo. No, but she's just like a powerhouse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. The fact that you can handle strong women says a lot about you. Wow. I appreciate it. Do you respond, for people listening, do you respond to your girls sliding into your DMs? If it's creative and like if it's, you know, thought provoking, yeah, for sure.

You know, so if she just sends like her tits, it's not thought provoking? No, no, no, no, no, not at all. Yeah, he does not like boobs ladies, noted. Noted. I want to ask you one final question. This is called, I don't know if you know, it's called Burning in Hell, the podcast and you're supposed to feel like you're in hell. And I think you burned and then you came back alive.

You rose from the Phoenix or whatever. Yes. Ooh, I like that. I'll take it. The final question for people listening, what advice would you give on how to cope with your hell? Yeah, I think you need to be really honest with yourself. Like, no, you know, you are responsible for, you know, whatever circumstance you're in and you were responsible for getting yourself out of that circumstance. So, like, you are responsible for getting yourself out of hell.

It's simply a few decisions that you have to make internally. So be honest with yourself. JPJ, you were a great guest. Honestly, I'm a... This was, this was an unexpected, pleasant surprise. I'm actually... you were aside from how crass you are that was great that was great i loved it just called me crass i loved it i could talk to you for a long time it was a lot of fun i'm a huge fan um where can people

follow you um i'm most active on instagram my name is john paul jones john paul jones no spaces thank you guys for coming to hell follow jpj we love him bye He, he, he, ha, ha, ha, ha.