Berner Phone - Jourdain Fisher: Fear Of Confrontation & Mean Comments

Episode Date: March 25, 2020

Hysterical comedian Jourdain Fisher goes to hell and discusses being raising in the family business of funeral homes, how he started comedy, being a virgin until 22, dealing with acne, insane reviews online, and much more. Join Hannah's Patreon to get bonus episodes and get added to her close friend's list on Instagram!  SHIPSTATION Use the code BERN to try ShipStation FOR FREE at shipstation.com BELLESA Visit bboutique.co and get 15% off your new toys and free US shipping today when you use code BERN at checkout! GLOSSIER Get 10% off your first order on Glossier.com/podcast/BERN --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, my God, auditioning sucks. Yeah. Someone else has to make a decision to let you have a role. Yeah, exactly. Oh, that gives me anxiety, the lack of control. Do we want to let this guy have some money? Do we want to let him not kill himself? Welcome to Burning him.

Okay, guys, I'm very, very excited for this episode of Burning in Hell. I'm your host, Hannah Burner, and today we have Jordan Fisher all the way in from the south. The South, North Carolina. North Carolina. I mean, it's the northern south. No, you go there, you'll see. Yeah, where in North Carolina were you from? Greensboro, which is fine.

Okay. And spent time in Raleigh, too, which is also cool. Raleigh is a bigger city than Greensboro. It's like Charlotte, Raleigh. Raleigh, Greensboro. Those are like the three major ones. He's talking to me like, I'm a dumbass because I am because I'm from New York. I don't know any other state. I'm like, what's this other state like? Well, most people don't understand that North Carolina is the south.

Yeah. They hear South Carolina assume that's where it starts. Yeah. Well, throwing north in the word is confusing. I know, but also it's like what I help people realize is like it's like saying West Virginia is still on the East Coast. True. So how often do you have to have that conversation? Enough. I've had it enough

Also what's fascinating to me Is that your family You come from a family With a business of funeral homes Yeah well they have a funeral home You have a funeral home Yes On my dad's side

We have a funeral home That's so funny to me Because I'm from New York City And that's the Italians Yeah Oh the Italians Well I feel like you all kind of The Italians kind of feed it themselves

Like we're gonna have to put the body away We'll handle the whole process from A to Z. The business is a little slow. Hey, Mick, you know, go out there, handle somebody, you know, put it back into the business. Don't throw them into water. We've been throwing them in water too often. Wait, so your family murders people? How did this?

No. You're taking people out in North Carolina. Not at all. Not at all. Not at all. That's, I don't want to get caught up in that. He looks at the camera. No.

That was not me. Welcome to hell. This shit happens. I don't know. My granddad, my granddad, that was just. I guess his dream. Really? Yeah, he wanted to, like, apparently, my dad told me, like, from when my granddad was a kid,

like, that's, like, what he wanted to do. And he fucking made it happen. It was hard, you know, it took a while to get off the, off the ground. It wasn't, like, some overnight access. But, yeah, like, it's, and he, and that, our business is, like, a staple of Durham. Well, I was about to say, it's, you become really a part of the community because you, you don't just trust anyone with, like, your love. ones passing yeah yeah and my granddad was like um kind of like a like like people knew

like every time we went out he's a local select yeah he was a local select like people knew him like anytime we went out grocery store bank wherever it was just like they'd stop him what up you know we called him pooky that was his name everybody oh my god that's so cute he's papa pokey my dad's little pokey what are you i'm just jordan pookie is a is a very black nickname i don't know like What does it mean? I don't know. It's just like how, like, I feel like white people call their grandparents, like, Nana and Papa, all that stuff. Ours is pokey.

I was just putting y'all onto some black shit right here. It's funny, though, because Italians come up with crazy names for, like, other guys in the mafia. It's always, like, snooky and, you know. Two fingers. Yeah, exactly. Three fingers. Yeah, he's got thin fingers, but, you know, we only refer to him as the two. You know, he does most of his good work on his two.

It's right, you know, pointer and his left pointer. two guns in each hand Johnny two fingers pop pop we did both watch the Irish men I'm assuming um yes but okay so was your grandpa did he ever talk about death like was he ever or was it strictly business to him like why did he get associated with it I mean it's a good it's a good business honestly it's always going to be a billion dollar industry porn and funeral homes damn they will never go out of business you're right people are dying to get in there Yeah. I'm fascinated by this.

And would he ever get like sad or emotional with stuff, especially when he's a part of the community? Not that I saw. Not that I saw. I mean, you have to compartmentalize with that kind of stuff. It's business. Why do you think he wanted to be in funeral homes? I don't know. Did something happen as a child where he like saw it on a TV show? I'm not really sure.

I should have asked him. I don't know. This is just about your grandpa, by the way. That's why I brought you all. But real quick, I forgot to announce who the fuck. is here. This is Jordan Fisher. He's an incredible stand-up comedian, actor, singer. What else you doing? Oh, yeah. I write for shows. Oh, yeah, and he's a writer. He wrote that he sings in his shower on his bio. But I saw him sing right before this podcast and honestly, I'm a little wet.

So yeah, you've been a comedian since 17 years old. Yes. He's written for everyone. He's been on a ton of amazing festivals, including JFL, which is highly respected. That was a good time. Was it good? Yeah. I mean, JFL. Yeah, I was nervous. JFL is like the NBA draft for comedians. Hell yeah. So, I mean, to get it, it was a fucking honor. But it's also like, after you get it, then you actually have to execute you.

You have to do well. You know, it's a lot of industry there. There's a lot of people that could, you know, check you out and make some moves for you. How was your set? It was great. It was great. I can honestly say it was great. That's amazing.

I went first. Oh, my God. But it was like, you know, at that point, I had been doing comedy for, I think 11-ish years or something like that. And the showcase, like they put us in like a theater. It's like an 800-seat theater. And I had been in those types of environments before. Not every comedian has been in like...

Yeah, theaters are a whole different experience. It's a whole different experience. And I personally like to perform in large spaces like that. Like I've always like, ever since I started comedy, I knew that like eventually one day the goal is to be in theaters. So I've always kind of like made my... act in a way that like you manifest it yeah like my acts like I feel like I try to make it so it could fill a big room so I performed in front of the I performed in theaters before so when I got to

Canada to form in that one I was like all right this is going to be fun how would you say you form your act to like be in a big room um I like doing you know act outs I like doing voices here and there I like pacing the stage I don't just stay in one spot like I use levels you know I tell stories here and there it's uh i like to be dynamic you know i don't i don't like to just play just small rooms and just it's i'm not just a person that's just set up punch set up punch set up punch there's punch lines in my material but i like to make it more involved you're like just to let everyone know there are punch lines yes yes yeah because some people you know it's like they they you know they'll look down on the act out or whatever and i'm like yo comedy is a

performance art yeah and if you're going to play for an hour and a room full of a thousand people you know when you're doing theaters that's just a small theater a thousand you're going to have to fill up that space and you have to keep people's attention for an hour you're right and if it's the same like that a touch that it can get monotonous exactly exactly your eye gets you know bored by it and even it's more that you don't want to get bored yourself yeah yeah and I just like kind of having fun and being loose and you know bringing some energy to it you know I'll you know there are times where it's like lower energy than others but like I like having a rain on stage.

Yeah, I feel like a lot of comedians have a lot of pressure to be like, how many laughs do you have for a minute? All the time, it's like sometimes for the biggest laugh, you have to slow them back down to build them back up.

Yeah, make sure people are listening. Yeah. If you can get them listening, paying attention, then you can get a hard punch. Every now and then, though, when they get really quiet, they're listening too hard,

I get scared. You know when it's like a little too quiet, I'm like, guys, this isn't going to be that good of a joke. You can go back to eating. Yeah, yeah. You got to know the difference between listening and bombing.

Yeah, that's for sure. It's like, if you get offstage in 15 minutes and they were like, man, they listen for 15 straight minutes, no laughter. It was straight listening to, yo, for real, like, they would be great students. One girl was crying, but you're still listening. They were listening to the motherfuckers. I do think what's important, I've, as a former tennis player, I need to mention that on every podcast. I learned recently, I did this, like, speaking thing with this coach Nick Baltair, and he was talking about coaching kids. and he was like, you have to coach kids in the way that, like, their game will bring them joy.

Yeah. And I never thought about like that because when I was growing up, I had a lot of coaches tell me, like, you have to play like Serena or you have to play like Sharapova. When it's like, well, how does Hannah want to play? Because that's longevity and that's what's going to make me want to get on the court. Right. And I think what you're saying with your stand-up is what, like, I'm learning too, is that it's not about just being, like, the next, you know, Dane Cook because he was successful.

Yeah. it's it's about what you really enjoy doing yeah do what you enjoy doing have fun as long as you know as long as you're enjoying it and as long as hopefully they're enjoying it too you know and just because it isn't like standard or typical I kind of love breaking all the rules right not necessarily like I respect like obviously the joke format and all that stuff but I don't think that you should ever put yourself in a box I think yeah especially in the creative industry yeah you don't want to be one of you don't want to see yeah you want to be multifaceted right now to me I've been telling people this a lot is like right now we're in a time where like being a multi hyphenate yeah is so i'm not going to say easy but it's accessible yep you know like to to create things on your own is is right there at your fingertips you just hit the nail on the head when you said create things on your own because there are people that'll be bitching like oh i haven't got opportunities they're not getting opportunities and it's like make you an opportunity yeah you can now you really can it's like not that expensive like to be able to get the equipment to whether

write a script or shoot a video or do a podcast like i mean it takes a couple microphones and a recorder and there you go yeah so it's just easy real quick you still play tennis right yeah i still hit yeah i've actually been hitting with i hit with like julio i hit with michael costa oh wow um i've we're creating like a little community of like of comics to play tennis my dad like would watch it all the time growing up you're like funerals and tennis i can't do it anymore seriously like well because you know we grew up like we didn't have a bunch of money so you know we're just in one bedroom apartment had like one television and uh tennis would play like on saturday mornings when i wanted to watch like animaniacs and like you know power rangers yeah yeah all that shit pinky in the brain yeah um and my dad would just commendere the tv and watch tennis and it tennis to a child is so fucking long like because i feel like okay so when they they got to do this and they went and they went and And it's like, okay, no, no, no, no, he's got to get this set. And then they got to do that.

But he won the game, but it's not, he didn't win the whole game. No, he's got to do that six more times. Okay, and then they went, no, no, no, no. Then he's got to do that three more times. And I'm like, I will fucking throw my head in the garbage disposal and turn it on. I hate the sport. And they just keep playing the same point over and over and you're like, stop hitting the forehand. Tie breaks.

And then I was like, this is a great match. I'm like, I fucking hate it. But then he would also take me out and play tennis. Okay. So I hated that. too i didn't enjoy that either because i wanted to play baseball like i wanted to play baseball but my parents got split up when i was young so like that it just didn't work out like that they were like whatever you do don't let him play baseball right right right exactly exactly you get to keep him but don't

let him touch a baseball bat um i watch sandlot he'll die i always say tennis and stand up are very similar and that like you're out there all alone yeah and you're performing and you're volleyball hopefully that you're given and they're giving back yeah because stand up is so more of a two-way experience. When I first was watching stand-up, I remember the comedians would just be, like, obsessed with the crowd. Yeah.

Like, they'd be like, oh, it's a good crowd, it's a bad crowd, it was a stupid crowd. It was a witty crowd. And I was like, some people just want to watch, you know? That was like me years ago. Well, they need to get the fuck out. I'm here to tell you right now.

If you're just coming here just to watch, no laughter, nothing, you listen in? You only listening? There are two types of people. I think some that get frustrated and go, fuck this is not what I'm meant to do. And some will get frustrated and go, ooh, I can't wait until I can, like, get over this hump.

Right, right, exactly. And some people, like, we'll use it. Some people, their drive is, like, showing off or, like, getting a form. Like an ego thing. An ego thing or getting, like, a form of payback that doesn't really exist. You know, just like, oh, I'll show you. I can't wait. I can't wait.

Oh, you're going, you're going. You're going to be hard. You're just, like, pacing in your apartment, like, when Steve sees what I do, on this stage. When Steve sees what the fuck I do, when he sees these applause breaks, they ain't going to know what hit him. He's going to be so fucking high. You're all Steve just like passed out, worried about his own shit.

Steve doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, Steve don't get a fuck. Do shit for you. Yeah, Steve ain't got no health care. He's got big problems, yo. Steve got a lump in his leg and he ain't worried about your fucking dreams. Steve's like, what the fuck is this lump? I'm just have to have to rub.

some Vicks Vaporub on my lump and hope that shit get taken care of. I ain't seen a doctor since I was six years old. I ain't seen a doctor since I wore Spider-Man pajamas, yo. Why does this kid keep posting on his Instagram about his stand-up routine? The lump has multiplied three times since he's posted. Hashtag, I know you watching, Steve. No, but it's true. You have to make sure that your fire is coming from like a good place.

From you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You got to stoke your fire. Jerk off all the time. There are a lot of people I think. I think I waited to get into stand-up to make sure that I was doing it for the right reasons. Yeah. Because I was in comedy and I had people who I was like, if I get into this business, I need a, I'm not doing it for like, hey, look at me.

I can talk on stage. I want to do it to do it. Yeah. And I think that's important. Who'd you like growing up? I love Chelsea Handler. I liked Amy Schumer. Yep.

I loved Chris Rock. There you go. Don't let me. I love Cat Williams. Who doesn't like Cat Williams? Yo, here's the thing. People like, he's so good.

Yo, people try to like downplay Cat Williams. Okay, he's crazy. He did get beat up by like an eight-year-old or something. Okay, look. He lost second round, TKO to an eighth grader over a soccer ball. All right. It was, it was a hard fought. UFC match on a playground

You know Hold on Nicky Hold on hold up God damn Why are you choking me You are too goddamn strong To be 7-11 years old You cannot be out here

kicking soccer balls And kicking niggas asses Where's your mom? Where's your motherfucking mama? Somebody call this boy's mama Pimp down I'm hurting When Kat Williams did every day

I'm hustling hustling You just walk into the goddamn I was dead. Also, yeah, I was too young to be watching that shit, but I was like on Comedy Central just Kat Williams on repeat. Kat Williams is great because he has that whole pent persona, but he also like talks real shit. Like he has like the goofy stuff in there, but like he like literally will have perspective on stage about like politics and like, you know, social economic status and race and everything. And it's like people just forget because he's in a shiny green suit.

and his hair is like whatever pimp hair that is called. He got the perm. He got the perm. But he looked kind of good. I don't know. I also loved, I loved Sarah Silverman

because I felt like she was just larger than life or she is larger than life. Sarah Silverman gave me, I've never smoked weed before, but Sarah Silverman gave me a pre-roll a couple months, but I have it in a baggie out. Oh, so you just ran. You took it and ran?

No, well, she was just like. Oh, it was like a present? Well, we were just sitting at the cellar table and she was we were I don't know she was brought up like the weed she had from California and she was like these are so great and blah blah and like pulled out two of them she was like you guys want

I was like I never smoked before but I'll take one she was like alright here you go and I just like it's still at my house you framed it it's just I need to frame it it's just in a baggie yeah oh and Steve see who I oh and Steve found out oh I got this blunt from Steve don't even know

this Jay was blessed by the gods It's a Sarah Silverman joint So funny I also read I was like I read Chelsea Handler's biography Mindy Kaling I liked Sarah Silverman's I liked that like boss

Girl type thing who like She was killing it in comedy But she also had a TV show She was a work on She had a book There was something all encompassing About these women who like You couldn't put your finger on

What made them so great But they were just You couldn't stop watching them Well yeah Yeah I mean that's just true talent mark a true talent it's that x-factor yeah and then being able to like you know leapfrog it into something else who did you like watching growing up when your dad wasn't playing watching tennis well my dad was the first one who showed me stand-up he asked me um he was like have you seen

richard prior uh stand-up and eddie murphy stand-up and at the time i was nine so i was like no i've watched yeah all i watched up to that point yeah eddie's great at voices but like at nine years old. The only thing I had watched up until that point was fucking anti-maniacs and tennis. So we were in the car. Actually put it together. It's just like stand-up. Yeah, exactly. So we were in the car and like we drove to a blockbuster, which was a video rental service. Vental.

Vental is video rental service, you know, in the 90s, you know, for anybody that doesn't know what that is. And yeah, we went and got Richard Pry, live in concert, Eddie Murphy Delirious. And those were the first two. specials I watched at nine years old and they were great I mean they still hold up to this day I mean well you might not be able to do Eddie Murphy delirious to this day like you know with woke culture and PC we're much more like accepting you know world now and in some facets but yeah those were the first ones I watched and then I just like took to it I just took to stand up I didn't realize I was being like a comedy nerd but I would watch Comedy Central Presents back when they

showed stand up all day comic view all the HBO specials that they had like those were the main outlets for for stand-up back then like aside like you know before Netflix and all that came along I feel like I put it on such a pedestal where I was like fascinated by these magicians who with their words

could like twist and come up with different things then as I just was like writing more and more and just like committing to it more I was like wait a second I can do this if I really want to right because like for me I I used to just, like, be funny on the bus and shit.

That's where it has to start. Yeah, like, I didn't have a driver's license all through high school. I wrote the bus all through high school. And I was just, like, clown in the back of the bus. And, you know, my friends were like, you should try to stand up. And I was like, because I was naturally shy. Like, I was always, like, a shy kid. But when you got people going, you knew how to, like, get that momentum.

So it was like, that's how, like, I kind of let out of my shell. So when they told me I should try stand up, I went in, like, like I started writing stuff down and like a notebook thinking like oh I'll turn this into like a funny book. Damon Wayans had a book called Bootleg at the time and it was basically like his stand-up but in a book form and it was fucking hilarious. So I thought I would do one of those but as I was writing it I was like I was just this just isn't.

It's performative. Yeah, it just isn't it coming out of the way I thought? Isn't it interesting the moment that you like idolize something and then go, I want to throw myself in the ring? Yeah. Because a lot of people never do that. Yeah. Just because they're not meant to or don't want to.

Right. we had a place called the Greensboro Comedy Zone in North Carolina and they would run an open mic the first two Thursdays of every month and I told my mom I wanted to try stand up and me telling her that it was like such a like curveball to her because I wasn't at home like joking around all the time like like I said I was like pretty shy like you've been crying in your room and just talk you about Steve for three weeks what am I going to do to get back at Steve?

I had to find a way. Like when I told her I wanted to do stand-up, she went and looked at, my mom was all about initiative growing up. That was like a word she used to say all the time. You need to take initiative. You need to take initiative. And I used to fucking.

Parents love having you like a theme. I used to hate that word so much. I hate tennis and initiative. Tennis and initiative, yo. But like she went and looked up like where you could perform. Like she looked it up online, called me. She was like, all right, I found a place. You got a momager.

Yo, she was like, I found a place. It's called the Greensboro Comedy Zone. They run an open mic first two Thursday every month. When are you available? I was like, I was like, you check your kids schedule? She was like, all right, they got one in July. You ready? I was like, well, I can't do the first week.

I'm out of town. She was like, all right, well, the second week, you got to go. I was like, all right. And she was like, you have to bring five friends. I didn't know what a bringer was at the time, but that's what they were running. They were like, you have to bring five friends to get on stage. Can you bring five friends? I was like, yeah, I'm in high school.

Like I, you know. And sure enough, so I can date it. My mom showed up. My English teacher showed up, like a few friends, one of their parents, yeah. How'd it go? It was dope. It was dope. Like, and we, in that open mic, it would be like a hundred or so people there.

What? Like, like, actual audience members. Oh, so it was like a thing in the town. It was basically like a show. Like, you're basically performing on a show. And because also the host there, uh, it's, guy named Chris he was a he was like the local celebrity of the club so like people came to like the weekend shows to see him and he also ran the mic so people would come to the mic to see him

so like it kind of had like a built-in audience so yeah that was my first mic in front of like a hundred some odd people and I was scared shitless dude I went second I was so fucking nervous but it worked out it worked out and I you know became house MC from there and then you know won a couple competitions around and finally you know eventually left like after like seven years you know because I got my college degree and everything down there but and then you moved to new york city yeah yeah five years ago and how are you liking it i mean it's dope it's definitely the best career move i could have made yeah and i kind of like that you kind of like conquered your region before you were like let's go because you came here with some confidence yeah yeah yeah

came here with a little confidence but then like when you move like you have to start all over like it's back to such a community yeah yeah and it's like back to open mics in front and And New York open mics are totally different than North Carolina. You didn't have your mom being like, yes, Jordan. No, not at all. No, no Hercules, Hercules for me. It was literally, I mean, because, you know, we had audiences back home, but then you move here, and it's just all, it's just straight comics.

It's just all comics in the audience, 40 comics pissed off, not wanting to be there, you know, wishing they could be on shows and shit, everybody. And then, like, two minutes, two minutes of stage time. So you're just telling, you know, one or two quick jokes and then you're out wow do you feel like the humor at all was kind of different when you went from north carolina in new york yeah because new york makes you realize what's not funny you know like there's stuff that would work in north carolina and then you come here and then you try it out and it's like eh no that's that ain't that ain't that ain't it well it's good

it's pushing yeah it pushes you it's cut the fat yeah it's the iron sharpens iron type environment yeah which is what you need new yorkers tell it like it is when it's funny yeah they'll tell you it's funny. For real. And when it's not, they'll tell you. Yeah, but that's the best part of moving here. It, like, makes you a sharper comedian and, like, you know, pushes you to become a better you, which is exactly what I was looking for. Because I almost moved to L.A. first. Yeah. I almost did that move. But Dave Chappelle, when he, like, came back from his, like, hiatus and everything, he stopped through North Carolina and did a show on Winston-Salem. And Dave's, like, the dude I look up to. Actually, he's one of my favorites, too.

Yeah, he's incredible. So, like, he came across the street. to the bar we were hanging out at and um you know i talked to him i was like yo i've been doing comedy at this point like six years like smoking in the bar no he was smoking outside he was like what's that man um but uh he uh i was like i've been doing comedy for like six years at this point and um i'm thinking about moving to new york or la um i was like what would what would you say he's like i moved to new york he's like that's where i started that's a great comedy city you can do a lot of sets a lot of stage time it's a it's a dope city to to live in yada yada and i was like all right well that's the move then because like that's the person

i looked up to so i was like that's where i'll go to and you can always go to l.a you know i feel like l.a is like when you're doing successful projects right yeah now now at this point in my career like i feel like i need to go spend some time in l.a to like get things off the ground that i've been working on like the ideas that i have because it sounds like you've you're kind of have a stable consistent like stage time in new york city yeah and you might want to start building in some other areas yeah there's other stuff i want to do you know i've been auditioning like you know we're in pilot season right now so it's like i'm trying to get some screen time like i have you know a script for a pilot i just i'm trying to you know get that out there you know i'm just you know trying to be that multi-hyphenate

hell yeah i like when you use that word it makes you sound very smart um i i also want to rewind to how we met we met yes so you guys might know luke from summerhouse he loves acting and he asked me to go to one of his acting classes. Because I mentioned, like, I do love acting, but I haven't got any classes before. And he was like, I have a class night. So I get there, and I'm just trying to chill. Like, I'm not trying to get involved.

Yeah, I thought you were, like, not even going to act. I was not trying to get involved. I thought you were, like, Luke's girl that just came along for the ride. I was like, let me see my boyfriends die. Let me support his stupid fucking dreams. So you can go show Steve or whoever Steve is. Who's this Steve? Luke, by the way, who is Steve?

Why are you so hung up on Steve? What is it, baby? Are you cheating on me with Steve? What's going on with Steve? Do you think Steve is hot or something? You know, I love you, right? What does Steve have that? I don't have.

I'll support whatever it is, but you need to drive you. I'm here for you. Don't worry about Steve. At least do it for me, not for Steve. Focus on us. It's always about us. It's not about them. It's about us.

You went up and you were great. Thank you. And then at the end, I just remember, like, I think my boy toy approached you, and you mentioned you were in comedy. And I had, like, just. started doing stand-up and I was like fast I was like wait you do comedy what do you do in comedy and then we found out that you are good friends with you worked with yeah I'm buddies with Ian your buddies with Ian Galvin who's been on the podcast you guys heard the episode he's the showrunner

of Summerhouse talks about how he discovered Cardi B and all that shit he's fascinated so so then I told Ian that I met you and Ian gets so excited yeah when his like we basically both texted because like as soon as I left class after talking to you I And I was like, hey, I just met your friend Hannah. And he was like, oh, she's great. Everybody does it. Ian in prison. She's the best.

She thinks she's funny, but she's not very funny. She'll get there. It takes time. You know, I don't want it. You know. But yeah, Ian, Ian, you know, he gave you a job with Summerhouse. Yeah. And Ian gave me my first writing job for 50 Central.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, like, Ian gave me my first taste of, like, actual money in comedy. I mean I had made like show money before as like performing yeah but like sustainable stuff financial stability like Ian Gelfin put me in a position where I was like so the way you get successful is make friends with Ian Gellman right when he when he like likes you yeah he'll do anything for you yeah he's the most generous open he's a great dude I've never met a boss who was so like open to just I don't know I feel like so he builds true relationships yeah like they have to have this ego all the time and he has your ego he just wants everyone to be happy yeah exactly isn't that what we all want yeah at the end of the day but yeah ian's great i was just with him uh at the end of 2019 yeah i was out there in l.a with him um working on a show that he's working on now and uh it's great i mean i love hanging out

and it's and you want to surround yourself with other people who have that like positive energy of like creating and rooting for other people not just hating on steve yeah important um do you ever deal with anxiety in your career anxiety um yeah i guess so i like that i like asking dudes this because a lot of time they're like wait a second what's excited i feel like no like i think i think uh yeah there's there's always going to be a little seat of anxiety when you're not where you want to be um i've had success in my career i've been fortunate enough to write for shows like 50 Central and I've performed on this tonight show I've written for the tonight show but it's like I know there's things that I want to do I want to act on you know a show

I want to be you know a series regular on something I want to be touring you know consistently with stand-up and building a new hour and everything so those are things that you try to make sure it's managed and it doesn't become anxiety you want to to make sure it's something that it's like, oh, these are the things I'm passionate about and not get too hung up on them because, you know, that's when it starts to cripple yourself. It reminds me what you said earlier, where it's like you have to make sure that like the direction is healthy as in like that the anxiety is pushing you in the right way. Yeah, yeah.

I try not to let it like get to me too much because like, I mean, right now the drive for me is like, you know, I do want to land a role on something. Like that's just my goal. Yeah. That's just the goal that I have right now. It's so different than stand-up, though. It's so different than-stating sucks. Oh, my God, auditioning sucks.

Yeah. Because stand-up, you're like, I want to work in this joke, I'm going to do it tonight. You just find a place to go find a mic where, like, you have to, someone else has to make a decision to let you have a role. Yeah, exactly. Oh, that gives me anxiety, the lack of control. Do we want to let this guy have some money? Do we want to let him not kill himself? Hmm, I wonder, can he say the lines

And pretend to be someone he's not How No, it's probably the littlest things too It's the smallest things I don't love the shape of his eyes There's literally what it is I feel like he's too nice guy vibe I want more anger in his eyes

His right side of his face Isn't quite in line with the left side Oh, I see that too, yeah, terrible terrible terrible uneven-faced motherfucker no no let him wallow and self-pity let him go back to his stupid apartment where he hears other people fucking through the walls while the boyfriend rolls off her and goes pick up his acoustic guitar no that I hate that where he tries to play neon by John Mayer he'll never make it he'll never make it he'll never play neon by John Mayer he'll never make it he'll never play on by John where his fingers do not have the right dexterity. That's why his girlfriend

didn't come. He doesn't have good girlfriend fingers nor guitar fingers. You should just cut off his fucking fingers. Don't you hate when they don't even look up? Oh. Or is that just me?

They're just like she's not going to make it. Just don't even look at her in the eyes. You see your feet and you're like, yeah, I don't They're like, what are you doing in that paper that's so important? They just looked down, thank you for coming in. I've gone in there and they haven't even turned the camera on before. I'm like, hey, you might want to turn that. Then I'm like, no, no, no, we're good.

Oh, my God. You should turn the camera on. I was like, no, no, nobody's seeing this. They're like, we're asking for a Ryan Gosling type. Dude, it's so crazy to go in like audition. When they say type. Yeah, it's types. And then you go in and you see various versions of yourself, the alternate universe versions of yourself.

Ian once made fun to me because I was like joking about Summerhouse. and he goes, don't worry, I don't need you. I'll just get another Hannah-Burner type, and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm a unique individual. They don't exist. I'm the only one.

You're someone who got fucked up by tennis. Land has these highlights? No, I don't think so. I'm a precious flower. Only I can bring this type of drama to Summerhouse. Only I can give good side eye. I mean, I can drink a fireball and pee in a hot tub the way. I'd be in a hot tub.

I loved acting and being funny, but I never was like, oh, there's a career in this. Right, yeah. Like, I was the class clown, but I never thought that I could get money from it. Yeah. But you were smart to, like, understand it as a... Yeah, I mean, after watching it so much, like, I was like, oh, that's what that person does for their job. I was like, all right, well, that's what I'm doing. to think that you could just be that person.

Yeah. What do you insecure about physically? Physically? The left side of your face in the right side. That shit came out. It used to be, okay, it used to be my teeth. Uh-huh. I used to have, like, gap teeth.

Really? Yeah, my parents, like, wouldn't get me braces as a kid. God damn, like, that used to, like, drive me up a wall. You put a nickel in between your teeth? Yeah. I can put a whole fucking bankroll with a whole bank of America. Sometimes that shit's cute. No, it wasn't cute.

It wasn't cute. I can tell you from being a virgin for 22 years, it wasn't cute. I have confirmation from my entire high school and college. I got a whole degree before I got one credit of pussy. I'm going to tell you right now it wasn't cute. Now you have to tell me, how did you lose your virginity? I lost it to somebody that was like

six years older than me in New York City No, no, no, no, no, in North Carolina I was like, watch out for that She's like, okay, who's next? Come on in, next appointment Get it in here No talking and no kissing

No eye contact, don't look at me, look at the wall look at the wall I'm not touching your balls I'm not touching your boss I'm gonna lay here Was it everything you wanted to be in more It was the first time it was like All right I'm fucking up

I knew I was fucking up Were you like wanting to lose it really bad Oh dude of course like it's because you're shy though It's not because you were ugly No it was it was it was it was a There were multiple factors There were multiple factors I was shy I didn't have the confidence I needed yet

And everything and it was But you're confident enough to go on stage In front of hundreds of people but you're not confident enough to stick your erection into a vagina. At that time, I wasn't. At that time, I wasn't. There were other factors. So, like, I had, you know, like, you know, acne and spaced out teeth and shit.

And it was just, it was just very in my head about that. Yeah, you weren't feeling yourself. Yeah, I just wasn't feeling myself yet. But eventually it happened. And, you know, me and I person are still good friends or whatever. That's nice. Yeah. But, uh, you were waiting for the right one.

yeah but yeah so the thing i i'd say uh teeth was the thing and now for me i've always had like kind of like problem skin so like i just like try to manage that as best i can why do you do you have you ever realize like the root of it is it is it is it stress is it like an eating is it a combination of a lot of things i think it's like my mom had problem skin so like i i i just inherit my dad's got good skin my dad's like never like i've you know who also is good skin I'll tell you what Steve once I do these Aztec healing clay mask I'm going to do these Aztec healing clay mask I've been looking up Korean skincare products sheet mask I'll do some microderm abrasions I'm going to get a good facial there a little spotty

and the glow is coming for you Steve I just envision you every day repeating jokes with a mask on in bed at cucumber a black sheet mask dog i i'd be looking at skin care of my skin i i try to take care of my skin i try to take care of my skin pretty well and i got like a whole supplement routine went out look at you i just i try to keep it good because i'm trying to get on tv yeah i know i don't want to be i don't want my only role to be

the before picture of proactive commercial have you ever used proactive i did but it's just not good like i think that should just zaps your skin like dries the shit out of It's too much of an stringent. I have to have, like, like, natural skin care. I have sensitive skin. Did you do acutane ever? No, I've never done acutane.

What I found out is good is a thing called, well, what is it, pantothanic acid? It's vitamin B5. Okay. You take B5. It's basically, like, the same thing as acutane. Like, it helps, like, just knock out cystic acne. Because I have friends who've done acutane. It, like, fucks them up in terms of, like, they can't have children or something.

Yeah. I can't have no babies. Hey, yo, I look good as fuck. You want to fuck me, but we ain't produce. loose to no shit all right this thing's dried up you ain't gonna find no water in here like mars you got no acne and no future children I'm just that might be a rumor I'm spreading I don't know about acutane

what about emotionally what's your biggest insecurity or personality wise I think fear of confrontation I'm the same yeah yeah fear of confrontation I've since gone to like therapy to help like figure out those things like certain situations that yeah because like my my parents uh got split up

when I was young so like and I saw like a lot of arguments in the household and things like that so it's like my brain was just wired to think like any type of like confrontation would blow up into like a fight like a yelling match yeah so it's like I would just like just I don't like people getting mad at me basically I don't like when people get mad at me and I don't like making people upset I try to be nice generally and and, you know, help and make sure, like, I don't know, I just don't like getting on people's bad side. You're inevitably going to have situations in life that you have to confront things. Exactly.

And I've learned that since. And that's, you know, that's something like I had to take time to work on and things like that. So, yeah. I worked on it by just throwing myself into a television show. Right, reality television show where everybody yells at each other. Who fucking pissing the hot top? And you're like looking at, you're doing the camera, the, the office. The talking head thing, I wouldn't know who pissed in the hot tub.

I don't want to name names, Amanda. But I don't know who did it, Amanda. Somebody drank my last white claw. They drank it. It was mine. It was special. And they drank it and they digested it. And they pissed my white claw all in the hot tub.

But I have herpes, so who knows. I think ultimately, too, like people in the house would get mad at me because I was too joky. Really? Like, because I would be just joking all the time. And I was like, yeah, because if I'm not joking, I'm crying or I'm upset. And that's how I deal with confrontation is through laughter. Yeah.

Because I'm the kind of person that, like, if you actually get me upset with you, we're never talking again. Oh, yeah. Like, it's done. Like, we've even like... Not like little things. It takes me a lot to get angry. But if you ever get me to that point, it's only happened like twice in my life. Is it a thing of grudge holding or is it a thing of you crossed me and it's like you did something actually bad?

Yeah. And it's like... It's that and grudge holding. Okay. Like if someone does. something fucked up, I'll never forget it and I'll never be the same with you. Whoa.

Because I'm in the mafia. We never forget. It's never going to be the same between us. You take your fucking two shoes and you walk out into the sunset. But I guess I'm like you, but it's weird because my parents rarely fought. So I guess I was scared of fighting because it was like a thing that I knew other people did. It was a scary thing.

That's like the fear I have with bees. like where it's like at a certain age like I had never been stung by bees but I had seen kids get stung by bees at summer camp and they would be like rolled off into a stretcher and then like dumped down a hill into a pile of bodies yeah yeah you just see the pile of bee bodies like so you're like insanely scared of bees it's gonna happen are you allergic or like I don't think so I don't think so at all

but I just know they're out there but yeah I hate when people are mad at me I think I'm like not a good person or that So I was scared of all of that. But then I realized confrontation actually helps people, like, you can get better relationships from it. But I'm like, I feel like I'm either happy or joking. But if you get me turned, it's like, then we're not cool. Right. Like, because I can be cool with most shit.

Yeah. I'm generally cool with most people. It's like, there's some people where it's just like, they just want to start shit with you. Yeah. What is this? So I would, that's why I do in the show. Like, I'd like push a lot of shit off. And then they started to come at me like, you never, like, address your shit.

shit or you always change the conversation. And I'm like, what do you want for me? Because if I actually fight with you, I'm going to hate you. Yeah, yeah. Have you ever been in like a fist fight? No. Me neither. It's again, it's like the beat.

Yeah, dude. I've never been in a fist. Somebody, I remember one time. I remember one time I was a kid, somebody slapped me across the face. I was like, well, that's your opinion, you know? I'm glad you got out how you feel. But I'm going to go over here. You're like, is your hand okay?

Yeah, yeah. I was like, I'm going to go over here. I'm going to talk to Janus. I'm going to talk to Janus over here. But it's funny because I'm like a lot of talk though Like I'll be with my friends I'll be like this motherfucker says one more thing about me I will fuck their shit up

And then I'll see them and they'll be like hey Hey I like your outfit And I'll be like thanks You got the chihuahua syndrome Yeah like I'm so much I'm New Yorker like shit talking is what I do The rest I don't know about I would never I was just with a friend this weekend

And he was like he was like yo y'all ever have like so much energy Like you just feel like you need to fight somebody I was like no no take that energy to therapy dog he goes you don't feel like you want to rob an old lady yeah you just feel like you want to fight somebody I was like Jeremy go to therapy like we were walking and like right after he said that we were walking

and somebody was like spray painting the side of a building or whatever and my friend that said that shit he was like yo I can't read it and like the guy was like turned around he was like I don't give a fuck if you can read it and I was like oh shit I was like I got grabbed because I was like Hey, man, just fucking talking to people. What's wrong with you?

It's like, what, that negative energy. Yeah, all that shit that you were talking about, like, I need to fight somebody. Like, don't do it around me. Don't project it on the graffiti artist doing his love of his work. God damn. I just don't, I don't. No, I'm not. But I kind of, I'm, like, fit.

I also think because I'm fit, like, girls haven't really fucked with me ever because I'm always, like, the strongest of the room. I'm like, I'm not that bad. I'm, like, I'm solid muscle. Right, right. So I always want one day to be able to punch someone. for someone else. I want to be able to be like, what'd you say to that person?

Do you have a good punch? Yeah, I boxed. Oh, shit. Like, I'll fuck shit. Like, I'm always physically ready to, like, for an apocalypse. But, like, if someone, like, says shit to me, I'm like, what do you project onto me that you actually, like, have to deal with yourself? Because also, at the end of the day, for me to get really mad at someone, I have to

overcome my empathy of just being, like, you're upset with yourself, you're projecting onto me. That's how I get past most shit. Yeah, most of the times it's their own shit. Yeah. And they just want to take it out on somebody. Instagram, social media, every time someone says something mean to me, I was like, you hate your dad. Yeah, yeah.

Like, or I remind you of your cousin, that's a bitch. Like, I get it. It's not my fault. The internet just lets people just say whatever the fuck they want. No, just throw it out there. You see this wide range, and that's why I think you can't take everything seriously. But it's like, you know, when you naturally just like someone or don't just from their face, just their energy, you kind of have a pre-conceive. Even in the stand-up, when someone comes on stage, you already know.

You know, I kind of like them where I don't. Do you, like, interact with those comments a lot? I rarely do. I don't, actually. Carl Radkees on the show will, like, retweet all the negative comments. But it gets the point where I'm like, okay, you're just putting fire to it. Like, some people think it's funny, but it's like, I just feel like put the energy towards a positive. Like, I'll respond to anything I see that's positive because it's like, you took time into your day to, like, send a stranger a nice note.

Yeah. So I'll be like, thank you. I love you. Throw a lot of love views out there. I think it's important. Right. But with the negatives, I'm just like, if you don't put the energy towards it, it won't grow. Yeah, you can't give those people attention because that's what they want.

They just want your attention. Exactly. They just want to feel seen, and that's ultimately why they're saying shit. Yeah. So I don't feed into it. Even like with stand-up or comedy or a podcast, like go on where there's comments, it's like, when I'm talking about it was experiences and it hit you the wrong way, like, this is not my fault. Yeah, you're smart.

I just, that's how I tried. You're smart not to do it. because also it's like sometimes like just don't even I don't even like go to the comment sections a lot of times because that's smarter some would say yeah because it's like there's no point you know what you did and you can feel good about it yep and then a couple comments shouldn't be able to sway like how you felt about yourself it's funny like comedians like we were always looking for that extra bit of validation because you can go up there have a good set you got the validation they laughed they laughed they did it you got you got what you came for and then the video goes on YouTube and then you go and then you go look again at the comments. Are the people laughing at the people laughing? What do they think about the people that are laughing when I said that because those people are like that, but what about everybody else? And then you go on there.

He was good, but, you know, his delivery could be a little better. Then another pro. Bitch, what you know about delivery? Everybody, you're a goddamn ex-book. Yo, I think he gay, though. He don't even have nothing to do with the comedy. They're just coming in. Yeah, I think he gay, though.

Hit me up if you get. Anyway, that audience was trash. They was laughing. They had dumb-ass audience. Bitch-ha. Old thinking they funny head-ed. Oh, trying to impressive head-ed. I just also think of, like, as me, my kind of person, I'd never go on and comment

random shit online. Never. I've never wanted to comment. So just think of the people commenting. Dude. what they're they're just not your people so I'm just like these aren't my people this is like if a other friend group in high school was like

we don't like you it's like yeah I know you don't like me we're different we're cool like people I don't understand the need to comment I really don't I don't feel relevant go to a place that feels relevant and then act like they're above it by dissing them to feel like a little bit good about themselves they're just like people who like leave

reviews on Amazon I need those people but like I also am like I'm also like why are you reviewing this why are you taking the time to review this shit it's also the kind of people that when the waiter comes and they're like how is it and there's not like a real issue to send it back but they like to be like you know actually and it's like we don't need the back and forth I mentioned it was a chicken cutlet

you know last time I had this was there this much sauce it's interesting I just don't remember it being that much oh okay well we can figure no no no there's nothing to fix there's nothing to fix it's fine it's too late It's fine. It's really good. I just don't. It's really good.

I was just wondering. I was just wondering who's got the Parkinson's back there to pour extra sauce on my cutlet. Are you guys down in the kitchen? Anyway, I've got to go leave an Amazon review. I'm just, I'm backlog on Amazon reviews. I just bought a guitar tuner from my boyfriend. He's an aspiring guitarist. It's a great tuner.

It's a great tuner. It gets everything in tune. Still doesn't help with his fucking janky fingers that he can't. make me come with um but yes i'm there to support him what kind of people are leaving the like grit the nice reviews it's like are they even more psychotic that you're taking this time out of your day to be the messiah it's always to be mother teresa people always have these stories as the stories on the review the same people who are writing the reviews that are like i bought this for my husband and he wasn't going to like but i tell you what he loved that he is the gra

My husband Those are the same people That are writing recipes That are fucking longer than a goddamn J.R. Tolkien novel That is just like Bitch get to the shrimp scampy I want to see the list

Just give me the grocery list What's the oven got to be on? Don't talk about your kids I don't give a fuck What blogs are you on? Dude, have you never been on or a risk? Oh my God, you get on there You're like, you type in Google, you're like, shrimp scampy recipe.

You click the one with the best photo. Yeah. But that bitch, she puts so much up for that photo. She goes on this whole diatribe. She's like, okay, so my kids are usually a big handful. We all know what we're talking about. Right, ladies? Handful of kids.

Anyway, so they're always super picky. They only eat chicken nuggets with ketchup. No honey mustard. That upsets to me. So, I decide to do something different. Maybe they like shrimp. They got to expand their patties. They are eight after all.

So I go and get a great Italian strips scampy recipe. My husband, he is just, oh my goodness, he comes home. He's just so tired from work always. He just has a lot of to deal with on his plate. His boss is a real dick. His boss is a real asshole, and he's trying to move upward in the company. They promised him they would be upward movement in the company. And now he's there and he's hungry.

I'm glad because it's so on point. It's just like, bitch. And next to, you know, you feel like you start caring about her. You're like, yo, is Kevin going to get this promotion? How are you? Why are you buying shrimp? I'm invested. Why are you buying shrimp?

You can't afford shrimp right now. Lisa, he hasn't moved up in the company. And your kids, they don't have an expanded palette. They're not ready for this. But can we get to it? Get to the ingredients list. Do I need to buy parsley? My family is the kind that like we never leave reviews or anything.

And my brother, we went to this really great Italian restaurant. And he's eating He's eating like a pork He's eating a pork chop And You know my brother It's like this is one of those I can't get out You know my brother

He's pretty like monotone Like kind of stiff And he's like Oh that's interesting And I'm like what's up And he goes There's a piece of glass What?

He goes A piece of glass And my mom was like The family Like we're not We're like, what do we do? Like, we should write time on because maybe there's other glass and someone could die. And he's like, he keeps eating it.

And I'm like, is it that. It is really good. But like, there's some glass. Yo, he's just going. I go, imagine if you left, what would you leave for a Yelp review? And he'd be like, five stars. It still tastes great despite all the glass. And he finishes it.

And then like put the glass on the side. It was by the way, there was some glass in this. Yo. But it was fabulous. What the fuck. So there's all different kinds of people That's a real man right there That is a real fucking man

I just want to let you know Hey between you and me I'm not gonna tell anybody else I'm not gonna tell anybody else But old Jeffrey back there in the kitchen A little piece of glass in the pork chop You know I like a good pork chop Good sear little glass

Rupured my vocal cords But the seasoning was fantastic I ever see that again I'll take this piece of glass Slid his fucking felt anyway It's good pork drop Five stars for you Speaking of learning

about people and the wide range of different people in this world. I want to finish with a final game. I've been laughing too hard. It is called Seven Deadly Sins. Seven deadly sins. Seven deadly sins.

What are you greedy about? Maybe my time? That's possible. Are you good with your time? Yeah. I think so. I mean, sometimes I can get a little, I have my lazy days. That's important, though.

Yeah. Especially as an entrepreneur where, like, you never really turn off and you're working until, like, 2 a.m. sometimes. Yeah. Do you sleep in? Yeah, but that's because I, like, every night I stay up to, like, two. Yeah. Just because, you know, you're out doing spots and shit in the city.

So it's like, after that, you know, you kind of have to wake up at 10. Now I just turned 30, though. I can tell my body's already changing because I'll go to sleep at 2 and then wake up at like seven. Oh, no. And then it feels like 10. I'm like, what is happening? And I have to, like, force myself to go back to sleep.

Like, I remember when I was a kid, my parents would be like, I was like, how was your weekend? They'd be like, oh, it's great. We, you know, we slept in until nine. I'm like, you don't know what the fuck sleeping in is. Losers. Nine. But then they, I'm fine with like, that's your shit.

Don't take it out on me. Like my grandpa is such a little asshole. He will, like, wake everyone up at 8 a.m. Be like, we're starting the day. We're starting the day. But then he's napping in front of the baseball game. From 11 to 3rd to 3rd. Three, just sleeping.

I'm not sleeping. I'm listening. I'm listening to it. That's what they always say. He wakes us up so he can nap. That's what they always say, hey, hey, hey, yeah, yeah, put that back on. Put that back on.

I wasn't, um, I wasn't sleeping. I was just listening to it. Oh, if you change it, they will perk the fuck up. They know. I remember one time because like, like I said, my parents got divorced when I was it. So I would spend the weekend at my dad's and he would fall asleep watching tennis. And like I would try to like get the remote.

One time he was laying there on the couch and like the remote was like wedged under him. And I was like standing above him. trying to figure out how to get it without waking him up and like his eyes slowly open up and he just goes and like it was so like it was so jarring that I was like I just looked I just looked at him puzzled he's like what did I have a kid and I thought he was kidding because we used to like just like playfully like kind of scare each other all the time but I knew he was serious when he went oh I was like what is wrong he's like you're gone five days out of the week

and now you're standing over me like a fucking ghost I was like I got scared I was like all right he legit forgot he had a child he's like what does that young child look like me the bigger issue is

if you got you had a son your only son your only son was standing right in front of you I am just a boy standing in front of my father telling him that I would have spent time

with him on the weekends this just got real dark no I'd spend time with all the weekends I'm sorry what movie was that who were you who were you envious of Donald Glover

he's doing it all man yeah like I think I think that's a good person to look at to be like if you if you're aspiring to be somebody I also feel like he really loves his art yeah like he's not in it for like any of the hoopla yeah yeah I've never said that word before but it seemed appropriate he makes his shit and this is always good yeah he's very talented so creative I saw him in I saw him in concert at Madison Square Garden it was fucking

dope. I like, because he has like the different names and stuff. Childish Gambino. Yeah, so I got confused. I thought they were different people. Jesus. Jesus. Okay, so. It's a very white person. So in the black community, sometimes we rap. Rapping is a art form. It's kind of like poetry. And then we'll go by, we'll go by a stage name. I thought it was just Drake. You could go by alias.

And honestly, I think I just didn't think someone was capable of having such a wide range of skills. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's really insane. It's incredible. And he's, I think he's one of those people, too. The hyphenate, whatever you said.

Multi-hyphenate. Yeah. I'm going to let you fail this class, baby. I'm going to carry you along. I'm so stupid. He's one of them, um, what's the word?

Syllables? Cillable words? He's got them multi, um, he got the dashes in his goddamn shit. He's this and that and every between each one of them is a goddamn line. I could have skipped it. I tried.

He's multi-line. He's multilineal. You stick a hyphen in it and figure that shit out. What do you gluttonous about? You seem like you have a lot of self-control. I do. So where do you lose it? Do you have a food or a...

I do have kind of a bit of sweet tooth. But like most comics, I feel like they're all alcoholics or they're, like, you don't have any addictions. No, I don't, I don't, I don't drink really. Ladies, we have a catch on our hands. This is a first on the podcast. I don't drink really. I don't, I've never smoked. Do you find it's hard in the comedy community, not drinking that much?

Well, I guess there's a lot of sober ones. No, because it's just one of those things where I just got so used to being like, I'm good. I'm good. That, like, at this point, it's just like I don't crave it. Yeah. Sometimes I have, like, if I have a drink of choice is old fashion. Ooh. Yeah.

Like a good old fashion or red. I feel like with me, I'm the same. I hate drinking. Yeah. But as a loud white girl. Like you're the person people go to when they're like, Who wants a shot? Right, right.

Hannah, are we getting wild? Hannah, are we going to have a crazy time tonight? I know you want a fucking shot. I want to make bad decisions with this fucking shot. I always sell fucking hangover at your friend tomorrow. And I'm just like, dude, like, I know that I... Why won't he call me?

It always ends in crying. And the night is always like, guys, we're not going to care about anyone about ourselves tonight. Fuck dudes. And then it's just like, if Steve doesn't take me... You're a fucking asshole. I'm gonna go re-dialogue Tinder. That's what I would do.

Like, he doesn't deserve me. Girl, he doesn't deserve you. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. I love you. I love you. Come on, let's just go to the bathroom. Let's just go to the bathroom.

We'll give it. Let's call it an Uber. You know what? In fact, let's call it Uber. Let's go home. Let's just call it. I can't find my purse. No, what I call.

We're not, we're just. I just want to dance. Let me go. Like he says, post this thirst trap. That'll show. You're going to get so many lights. The amount of PTSD you're giving me. You don't know how many nights.

I'm always the token babysitter to these people. And what I realized, the best advice for these drunk moments with your friends is that you remember it, they don't. So when you're being really nice and you're like, okay, do you want to talk about it? They don't know what they're saying to you. So you got to be firm.

They're like a dog at that point. You've got to take them by the man and say, we're going home now. The runners, man. And people around you will, think that you're an asshole but you're like this is the fourth time this week i don't want to deal with it's the runners because if you try to be logical with them it never if you ever just see them looking at you in the face where they're just like they're like really trying hard it's like their

brain's like yeah try to try to no one's home try to listen to what they're saying in their eyes just like i didn't hear none of that just like they're just full shack it's just hyphen i didn't i didn't i don't i tried to understand what you did and i didn't get none of that When she drunk fights, she just, she doesn't have a subject to the conversation. Does that make sense? So she'd be like, I knew it was going to happen. And she'll be like, and if you did it again, I'll never just have it to do it. And I'm like, do what?

And she's like, you've been thinking about it, having you. We're going on. You just do this. You just leave me at the library. You didn't leave me at the library. Because I did that thing? You know, I don't like that thing. And I did that thing.

You know I don't read. And you're just like, what thing? You know, I like the movie's better. Why did you do that? When I was young, I would wait and be like, I'll figure this out. And then you realize it's a puzzle that's not meant to be. It's not meant to work out. Like, you really try.

It's like talking to Lassie. Who? Who's in the well? Who do we have to save? And you realize, yeah. Yeah, you're just like, oh, this is fucking boys. You're in the dark places of their mind that have quit. Yeah.

Their mind has been like, we're out. Yeah. One time I told my friend, I was like, hey man, I just want you to feel because he's like hugging the toilet. I just want you to feel better. I just, I'm worried about you. Like, just, you're okay. And he just looks at me and he does that. That's the Mahalo sign. And I was like, you know what? Fuck you. You're on your arm. I was like, they're out to lunch and you can see them for dinner later. When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath? Rath? Yeah, when was the time you got angry? Ooh, extreme anger. Dude, I'm such a like, I'm such a like, I'm such a,

a laid back person yeah well i like like us having an in-depth talk now because i was a shy guy you're either like super chill chill or serial killer yeah and you don't know until you like dig in until something pops off yeah um i i had some uh family things that were going on personal family things that i was like working through that like kind of that you are not living with them or i guess that's like most people as adults yeah i don't i like it's well in the south if you live with your family past like 19, 20, 20. It's like, yo, what's going on? Yeah, because the houses are mad cheap over there.

Yeah, well, if people just move out, like here in New York, like it was, like, people live in the house, they stay into a house because it's like, yo, if you leave, they're just going to make it cost 10 times more than it was. Yep. So. I'm jealous of my friends who were like, oh, I got this rent control thing. Right. I didn't understand that when I moved here.

So when I would talk to people that are like, oh, yeah, I live with my family or like above my family. I'm like, what? What is that? Yeah. Like, if you said that. that like in North Carolina they're like you're fucking loser man like get out of your house but now I realize like it's a different financial thing here I live 20 minutes away from

my family in Long Island City and it's like far enough that they can't like be all on your shit but when you're like that's a good setup I want to have right that's a good setup to have yeah that's pretty dope to have thank you um when was the last time you were a sloth like when are your lazy days oh probably just that could be any given moment honestly like last week had a sloth are you Do you get guilty when you do it? Yeah, yeah, I can have that. Like, I haven't been to the gym in a week,

and I need to go, I need to go pump my chest up this week. Got to get back under that barbell, you know. Steve worked out last week. Steve worked out last week. I saw that goddamn picture. I saw, I saw his Instagram story standing in front of the mirror. Standing in front of the mirror. What's his thing that he has?

I forget, what's a thing that's growing? He has a bump. Oh, yeah, he's got, Steve, You know, he's got that little lump in his leg. That lump is looking strong. The lump's looking strong. He flexed his calf and I saw the lump look at me with his one lazy eye. His lump got a lazy eye.

It was like, you're like, you're a lazy motherfucker. I saw the lump looking at me. You are a slow, bitch. You ain't ever going to be nothing. N-W-F-I-N-U-F-I-N-Postrophy. Not a apostrophe. Honestly, that lump's great at spelling. When was the last time you lusted over someone?

Or do you have a celebrity crush? Fucking Instagram. Instagram's a dangerous place You better watch out It is Start having babies Just from like your one photo No babies man

I ain't doing no babies Celebrity crush You know what I really like Rashida Jones Oh I love Rashida Jones She's just on the subway With an eyeglass ad I thought you meant for real

Sorry Sorry to get you excited You're about to run on the subway I was worried about to get on the subway And do the whole homeless man speech Excuse me ladies and gentlemen I don't mean to bother you But I'm looking for Rashida Jones

For those of y'all that don't know she's right there above you on the ad wearing the glasses the cat glasses she's a very beautiful woman she is quincy jones daughter she's a goddess you can do a project with her in the future i could see that i would love that manifest that shit i would love that i would love to do that i would love to do a project with her but i would also love to meet her father quincy jones because that man is a fucking icon she's like not another one yes you meet my dad you got to act cool about it dude he's like I would just want to talk to him about all the people he's met over. That man knows everybody.

Yeah, he's popular. Dude. A little slut. Also, side note, quick on Instagram. When you say Instagram, what kind of girls are you feeling on Instagram? Is it the Insta Ho's? Is it just like that girl next door? Is it the celebrity?

Is like, what do you? No, I don't follow a lot of celebrity accounts. I don't follow a lot of Holo accounts either. It's just like, oh, she's pretty. That's nice. Yeah, yeah. Like, I mean, but that's just Instagram. That's Instagram.

that's everybody's posting their best self on there and i also feel like so many guys don't understand like the level of editing that some photos go go to like insanity yo y'all got some it's fucking art pro tools pro tools yeah i mean you've had experience it slide into the dance and yeah let's go are you single yeah how long have you been single a couple months oh shit it's new yeah damn well slide into zams What's up? Jay Fisher Comedy. Jay Fisher Comedy.

You have an album out. Can you tell us about it? Yeah, the album's called Good for You. It's on iTunes, Spotify. Title, if anybody's got that. Serious XM and everything. Give it a listen. You know, like I said, I've been doing comedy since I was 17.

I recorded it in Good Night's Comedy Club down in Raleigh, North Carolina. You probably got a crowd. Yeah, it was dope. It was dope. A lot of people came out to support. I'm proud of it. You know, I just want people to laugh. That's it.

You know, I just wanted to put something out there that could, like, you know, be a time capsule for the material. Like, I have something physical that I can, like, show people like, hey, I do stand-up. Here's the product of that. Here's the product of the hard work. And I just want you to enjoy it. That's all. Like, I just want you to laugh.

You guys listen to it. Then DM him. Tell him what you think. Tell me what you think. Before we wrap this up, I end with one final question. What advice would you give people on how to cope with your hell? cope with your hell um i'd say first recognize what your hell is identify it and then uh find either a creative outlet for it or go talk to somebody honestly i'd you like or go kill a couple

right right let your anger out in a healthy way or just go full non-healthy get a true crime true crime documentary about you and end it at least being notable um yeah but talking people about it honestly yeah like I like do as a as a black dude like therapy is not big for us but I've done it recently and it it does help are you in therapy right now I haven't gone in a little bit just because of you know I've had the other shit going on but yeah like it was one of those things where it opened up my eyes to some shit where I was like okay that's so awesome these are things that I should have addressed there's so many dudes that I if they went to therapy mama would be into it but they're not so we're here alone um anyway where can people follow you

uh j fisher comedy that's all you know for instagram twitter or whatever uh j f i s h e r comedy and i hope you guys are watching summer house and i will talk to you later bye You know that big bargain detergent jug is 80% water, right? 80% water? I thought I was getting a better deal because it's so big. If you want a better claim, Tidepods are only 12% water. The rest is pure, concentrated cleaning ingredients. Oh, pass me to intercom thing. Attention shoppers. If you want a real deal, try Tidepods.

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