Berner Phone - Kelly Killoren Bensimon: Social Climbing & Sanity

Episode Date: August 28, 2019

Kelly Bensimon has been through hell and back, so Hannah wanted to hear all about it.. She explains how to be a socializer, why Ashton Kutcher got mad at her, how she got discovered to be a model, how her husband wasn’t her type, the weirdest engagement ever, her biggest physical insecurity, her workout routine, her experience on dating apps,  why she thinks she would be better on reality TV now, why she jogs in the street, how she really feels about her experience on RHONY, why she is envious of JLo, why she loves getting angry, how she still gets hate online, and her issues with her ego. Follow Hannah Berner on Instagram & Twitter: @beingbernz --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning Hell What's up, you guys? I am in hell. I am so excited for this episode. But firstly, I just want to say thank you to all my little devils who have been rating and reviewing. This is what keeps the podcast going.

Screenshot, if you enjoy this podcast, tag me, tag my guest. You guys know the drill. Well, why am I even telling you this? But it's time to now introduce my guest. Kelly, Coulorne, Ben Simone. I mean, how do I even give you an intro? I wrote, I'm with this iconic bravel-leberty, mother, writer, entrepreneur. I met her because we have the same manager, Lizzie Grubman, who's a badass.

But I also wanted to announce that she is the newest member of Summerhouse next season. Just kidding. But maybe not. Kelly, welcome to hell. Yeah, they're going to be like, Kelly, how do we navigate things? Hamptons. Honestly, you would kick our asses on Summer House. Oh, my God. I'd be like, everybody, clean your nails. Hannah, stop peeing in the hot tub. That's disgusting. Yeah. Okay. Everyone get the lice all out. So you've had a ton of books. You also were the editor

at large, which intimidates me at Hampton's magazine. I did, I did, and Gotham. And you also had the socializer at page six. Did, yes. So I want some advice. I love that you know that. Oh, girl, I did my fucking research on the subway conference. on the subway. She's like, I did so much research on the subway. I have a 45-minute subway trip, so I'm like, I get in. I get in deep. I'm like, I know your social security number.

We're there. Why would you call yourself the socializer? I wanted to do a column that kind of like wrapped a bow on everything that I was doing the night before, the weekend before. So it was everything from what I wore, who I hung out with, what they were talking about, and where I was. So it was like, you know, kind of giving like a sense. of what New York is about. Because everyone's like, oh, New York City, you know, sex in the city.

But, you know, it's really about those kind of things. And it was really fun. It was really fun. See, as someone, I have like... I got into a lot of trouble, though, too. I'm not going to lie. What kind of trouble? Well, because I wrote this about something about Ashton Coucher, and he got mad at me.

I was like, dude, I was like, when you have... Take a prank, Ashton Coochard. I was like, when you have someone impressed that's near you, wherever you are, you have to be like, please don't say anything because otherwise you can't. Well, we know for me. reality television anything you say can and will be used against you forever sorry ashton didn't mean to you know ashton you're doing just fine calm down and he was like a celebration of him too it was like talking about like how smart he is and i think he was just mad that i was like talking

about him on his vacation so anyway well i think as someone i don't i wouldn't say of social anxiety but like i get my energy from being alone do you she's looking at me like what kind of human are you like I'm loud but like after this I'm gonna love laying down with my cat and being alone how do you find the energy to socialize and like like events to me are like annoying like I have to like put on makeup yeah go out and like see people I don't really like and be like oh my god how how is how are the kids like I don't give a shit about your kids you know I mean I give a shit about your kid yeah specifically I don't know your other kid yet so I only care about one so far do you have advice for like surviving in the social climate of people who are

like, I need to be more social. How do you become more social and not be a loser? That's a really good question. How do you become more social and not a loser? And how do you become more social and not try to look like you're trying to be relevant or social climbing? I think that's like a serious like angle on it. You know, the reason that I became so, I mean, I'm a very social person. Like, you know, I love people. You know, people are like, I'm a people person. Like I do. I love people. I love asking questions. I love learning about people. I love hearing, you know, what they're up to, their drama, their boyfriend stuff. I love all that.

And I'm just a genuinely curious person. So that helps. I think that means you're smart. No. I noticed, but I just notice, people who ask a lot of questions tend to be fucking smart. But I also, like, I'm a good listener. So a lot of people that say they're good listeners just spend a lot of time talking. But I, you know, my ex-husband was so much older than me.

And so he would take me to these parties and he doesn't really like to talk to people. And so, you know, I got married when I was, you know, 26 years old. And so I met him when I was really young, and even younger than you. And so I was like, hey, I'm the youngest person at the party. Who are you? What's happening? How's it going? So you weren't intimidated by the, like, older status of people?

Well, I didn't know who they were. There were just people to me. Like, you know, my dad's a lawyer. I'm like, my dad's super educated. Who were you? Like, I mean, I wasn't intimidated by people because I was raised by, you know, great parents and all my parents' friends were, you know, really successful and just engaging. And I'm from the Midwest and people are just genuinely nice.

Guys are like creepily nice. I know. Like it's weird. Like you say good morning and stuff. It's strange. I know. But it gets you far. But once my therapist told me, she was like instead of trying to prove that you're like the funniest

coolest person in the room. Yeah. See what happens if you give people space for them to be themselves. Right. And see how that makes them feel around you. Yeah. It was really interesting when I was on Housewives, I could tell that one of my castmates was, you know, boiling over. And so my, you know, my instinct is to be like, compliment them to, like, calm them down.

Your tears look amazing right now. Tears, tears, tears. So I was like, oh, my God, I like your dress. And she literally, like, blew up. And it was like, what do you mean she likes my dress? She's so disingenuous. Actually, it was the opposite. I would realize that she was, like, having a moment.

So I just cut it and complimented her so that she would start, she would feel good. And she got so put off guard because I was complimentary. And I think that that's something, too, about New Yorkers that they're always like, I'm working so hard, I'm type A, I'm the best of the best, I'm swimming with the sharks. I don't want to be a minnow. And so that they forget that they're like, it's okay for someone to be like, hey, I really like that. I really like their shoes or share.

Also being nice gets you so far. I'm also an editor of my life. I mean, I've been for the lexicon of my life. editor and my job is to share information. My job is not to keep information. You're right. So I'm like oh, I really like that. Or like if you say, oh my guy, I really like that. Oh my god,

I got it. Is there at $25? Like that's my job. That's how I think. And you can't give information unless you're getting information from people. Very interesting topics. But you're... So I feel like when you go, like not that I'm your Hannah therapist, but I feel like when you do go into situations, especially now that you're on TV and everything, if you do just go

in a situation knowing, like, you know, you're the big HB and you can be like, hey. Head bitch in charge, that's what she means. I'm just kidding. No, you just be like, hey. Hampton's bitch. Hampton's bitch.com. No, if you're just like, you know, if you just go, who you are and just be like, hey, how's your day?

Just ask people questions. It just is like a major diffuser and all of it. And they're kind of waiting for you, too, to be like, I'm doing this. I'm doing that. I mean, they're waiting for you to tell them. Let them wonder. But also just ask them, like, you know, keep people on their back foot. I always think, too, when you're doing really well, it's more attractive for people to find out

you're doing well through other people than through you. Oh, please. And being a reality star, reality stars, their, like, mantra is tell everyone everything. Yes, you have to tell how you're feeling every moment, what's the update, what's going on. Right. But rewinding to you were a model. How are you discovered? I love these stories.

So I started modeling when I was 15. I'm from Rockford, Illinois. And I literally was in this, I saw this contest in Team Magazine. I had my twin brother take these photos of me. And we sent them in Team Magazine. And they were like, who are you? Where do you come from? Were you tall?

Yeah, it was the same. I'm exactly the same. Oh my God, you must have been gangly. It's like ridiculous. I'm like, this is so weird. I was the same. Except for non-51. So anyway, so I was, my brother took these photos of me in our backyard.

took the pictures and people were like what is going on with this girl and I entered this other contest called elite model look of the year and so they had me come to uh Chicago and Cindy Crawford and I were in the same thing except for she was like super sophisticated and sexy and I was like I had cut one side of my hair at this point because I was trying to be cool and I wore like fluorescent pink sweater dress and was like dancing like I was like Madonna and they were like who is this girl and I was like you know I'm like you know like, you know, swimmer, hanging out, have love boys, love fun. Did you, what made you think you could be a model?

Like, did you think that you had the face for modeling or the body for modeling? I mean, one of my dad's friends worked at Lear Burnett and was like, she should definitely be a model. Like, she, but the only thing you have to remember, too, that when I was a model back in the Ice Age, you know, brunettes were, like, you and I were considered ethnic. So they were like, she's super cute, but she's a little ethnic. So I grew up people thinking like, not growing up, but people would always be like, if you weren't blonde hair and blue eyes. Because you weren't twiggy.

And I was curvy. They were like, yeah, she's ethnic. And so when I came to New York, people were like, oh, she's got dark hair just like us. So I was like, oh, my God, I'm just like them. New York is the land of the brunettes without too much makeup. Thank God my people. Amazing. So you met your husband because he was a photographer?

Yeah. So was that hot, like this like established guy who. was in the industry and you were like coming up no so how do you how did he get you well I met him first when I first came to New York at 18 and my hair was super short and um I was supposed to do with this story why did you go short I don't know they just were they're always like they do whatever you have beautiful hair the first thing that they always do like oh my god let's cut your hair it's like okay like let's see what you can bring without it people pay for this kind of hair people pay for our hair yeah my hair is like it covers up all my insecurities and I live

through my hair. If someone gets my hair an inch, I, like, can't go outside for a week. That's my insecurity. True story. I, like, love my hair and it protects me from evil. Yeah, exactly. And I can twirl it, and I can, like, talk to it, and, like, it can, like, flutter around. Yeah, hair vibes.

So, anyway, they were, like, feeling gorgeous and decided to cut my hair short. And so I was doing this story for Italian Vogue and with his short hair. And he saw these pictures, and he was like, okay, we'll use hers. And then he met me in real life. and he was like, oh, not today.

And I was like, not today. I was like, I was just an Italian vogue. Like, see ya. So anyway, working, working. I like your friend jackson, by the way. It was good. And working, working. And then I was supposed to do, I was supposed to meet him again.

And then we went to the Hamptons and this model named Veronica Webb, who is like an icon gorgeous, who was like hanging out with Spike Lee. And she's like super smart and fun. She was like, you know, Jeal really likes you. I'm like, well, I only go out with guys that go to school in Connecticut and are, like, waspy and we're, like, dirty khakis, play lacrosse, like, show off their ankles, like, and we're loafers, like, in the summer. That's really kind of the guys I date. So, douchebags. Yeah, so, yeah, so this guy is, like, gray-haired, curly, drawing circles in different colors.

I'm like, have fun with your crayons. So to make a long story longer. Then how did this happen? I don't know. Like, honestly, we're just, like, working so much together. And it was just kind of like this weird. And he was like, you know, he's very interesting and engaging. You know, we're all different people.

And so. This reminds me of sex in the city when Carrie goes to France. Yeah. What is the name? Oh, my God. That's what I'm saying. That's exactly what I envision. Alexander.

Yeah, whatever. So it was similar to that. Alexander. So, yeah. So it was always like with all these different people that were just interesting and engaging. And, you know, I was educated and I was finishing up at Columbia. And he was different than anything you'd known. Yeah, he didn't show off his...

Well, he did later. Now he shows off his ankles. Of course he does, right? I love your fetish for ankles. You're like, I just want a guy with good ankles. I just like it when they, like, have confidence to wear, like, different things. Like, I like that. I don't like guys who are insecure about their ankle bones.

It's so unattractive. But he taught me a lot, and, you know, he gave me nice to see and Ted Bird, so I love them, and they're, like, the best kids on the planet. How did he get you to marry him? he actually I was in his apartment and he put a ring on my finger and I was sleeping and it drew blood and I was like I need to go to the hospital no he's like if you don't want to you keep the ring okay so I call my best friend I'm like this is the weirdest thing I have a ring on my finger I'm not sure it's like the hugest ring I've ever seen in my entire life and it's not you know anything traditional and I drew blood, and I'm kind of in pain right now, and I'm not sure she's doing.

She's like, get a Band-Aid. I'm like, no, no, like, real blood, not like baby blood. Kelly's daughter, C, is in the room right now, and I looked at her, I said, have you heard this? And she's just shaking her head laughing. So. See, love these anecdotes. She's like, Mom, tell more, tell more.

I've heard you in the past. And then one time. At band camp? Yeah, in France. In France, band camp. Yeah. I've heard you talk about, I've been bad relationships before. I've been in good relationships before.

I always loves talking to women who have been through other relationships. Why was it not right for you in the end? It wasn't right for me in the end just because I grew up. And, you know, that that's the thing I think is interesting about relationships is that, you know, when two people are really living separate lives, things just happen. And, you know, I grew up and my interest changed and I was meeting all these people and I was getting more responsibility and I was raising kids on my own. even though, you know, we were married, but he was traveling, which I encouraged him to do. It's not like, I was like, oh, my God, poor me. I was like, go, go, go, like, be the best version of you.

Even he's like, Mommy, I might do this. I'm like, go. Yeah. She's like, you're going to miss me? I'm like, yeah, but you have to go. Yeah. I'm like, I want you to be the best version of you. You can't be selfish just because you want, like, they'll have animosity towards you.

Right. And I just never, I would never want that for a friend. And I would definitely not that and want that in a relationship. Did you feel like he respected your career equally? No. I mean, he didn't understand, too. It's like, also, I, you know, can, I'm fluent in the written words. So, like, he could paint pictures, but I could color them with words.

And so he didn't really understand that I could do all this so quickly and so much. But I was also, when you go to a school like Columbia University and people are like, oh, she went to Columbia University. Yeah, I did. And that is no joke. Everyone's like, yeah. Isn't it like a country? No.

It is on the upper west side and it is no. The you and the O have a big difference. Yeah. I mean, it's like they teach you this format. They teach you like the structure to be successful. And it gave you the confidence to like. And you just plug stuff in. You're fascinating to me because you've had many different lives and you've had many ups and downs.

And like you know, you don't let anyone put you in a box. And I think that's how people should be. I mean, now. But, like, back, you know, I mean, you know, you guys are paving a new way for us because you're just like, I'm not going to do what you want, how you want. I'm going to do it a different way. So people like me, I'm like, oh, my God, you open that door for me? Thank God. Well, it's cool.

You're not looking down at millennials like, oh, they're not working hard. You're like, wait, they're doing some stuff that I actually like that I'm going to start doing in my career. And I've always hired very young girls to work with me in my early 20s. Like right out of college, I hire them. You know, they usually stay with me for a year. And then when they're done, I'm like, you guys, here is my Rolodex of people or my database or my contact list, whatever you want to call it. Whoever you want to work for, write it down, and I will send out your resume.

And I think all this stuff is good karma, especially like women helping women, the karmic forces. But it's all going to come around. I think a lot of people, obviously, listening, probably love Bravo. Bravo. You know who's going to come up. Bravo. How did Bravo? I love how we're Italian.

we're French we are we are we are because we have brown hair thank you bam what made you want to do real house as New York and what was your expectations going in so I had zero expectations because I was supposed to be on another show with Tim Gunn the Veronica Webb they want a Veronica Webb on and so the executive producer who's not Univision he was like Kelly he's like we're having a hard time legitimizing this brand where you just come on for you know a couple of scenes and I was like my agent was like you know you can try it they're like it's not really you know we don't you know these are just you know women in New York. So, you know, you had this massive pedigree. So if you want to go on there

and, like, you know, show the world who you are, we support you. But just remember, these are not, like, people that you know, they're just, you know, housewives. They're literally housewives. They're not like worker bee. Like. So there was a chance that you could knock it along with them. Yes. And my agents were like, no, no, no. And I was like, you know what? I'm like, always like, yes, yes, yes. I'm like, I'll do, you know, someone offers me something. I'm like, Let's try it. Out of research, because I'm a professional, I went on Hulu, and I watched your first scene. Yes, I watched your first scene.

I think you were, like, sitting down for, I think coffee with Luann. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I could tell you were, like, a little nervous. Yeah, well, I just gotten off my horse. Yes, literally. But you look stunning. Your hair was just a little tussled. It was raining, and I got, did this scene, and I met Luan before, but Luan is like not,

she was like, I know Kelly Benson, darling, we've been friends forever, but actually, Loanne, it was like in Stad and like, you know, swimming with the sharks in my York. She's all over the place. Like, I was like at home raising two kids alone. Like, I mean, granted it was in the Hampton, so it's not like I'm like raising them and like, you know. So you were like a different kind of. Totally different. You were a mom. I was

a mom. And you didn't have a husband. Not that Luyan isn't. She had a husband at the time though, right? Yeah. And she was like feeling gorgeous traveling all over the place in private planes. And I was like at home, you know. Being a single mom is not, I mean, I've, I'm, I'm a single mom to my cat right now. I was married and I love Luan but we were just totally different. And so she was like, I know Kelly. And I was like, I'm like, hi, I just got my horse. And she's like, darling, we have a coffee. And I was like, right now, I'm like so hot. Do we need to have coffee right now? Can I have an iced tea or water or whatever?

Were you scared? Of her? Of the show. I was scared of her. I was scared of Lindsay Hubbard when I first started Summer House. Why were you scared Luann? Because she's like very, very. Oh yeah, she's what do people say? What did Paraselton call? No, she's like over the top. She's major social. She's everything. She is everything.

She's beyond. That's what Parasota called Lindsay Lewin. She's beyond. She's like, she's very, very. But she wasn't even the one you ended up bumping heads with. And it's so funny because we're good friends now, which is ironic because I was like, she's like super socialite. Like, oh my God.

Maybe it's because you really respected her. Deep I mean, how many people even know that Stad starts with a G? Like, I had no idea. She was like, I mean, like, I had no idea what she was. I didn't know what Stad was. I thought you had like a cough in your throat. Stad. It was a different life you were getting thrown into.

So you meet these different people and it's like you don't know who they are. And it's not my, you know, it's like when you're as a writer, it's your job to always research people. But when I went on that show, I wanted to be genuine. And I had already done a show called Behind the Hedges where I was interviewing these game changers. these massive, massive, unbelievable icons in New York. And I went into that show blind because I was just like, I want to learn everything from these people. And I want to ask them organic questions that I would normally ask, not like, so my third

question is. You know, I didn't want it to be like that. I wanted to be like organic. And so I was very intimidated by Luann. And right after the scene, they were like, next time you film, you need to have your hair blonde up because you're a supermodel. I was like, check. Okay, right.

I was like, what? I was like, okay. Yeah. I thought they wanted me like Kelly Ben-Simon, like wild, you know, riding bearback and like, you know, doing cartrails on the beach. It's funny because I remember looking that you weren't there perfectly and I loved that you were kind of like, this is me. Yeah. What's up? Yeah.

And it's so funny because these women had created this kind of aura around me that I didn't even know. I wasn't even part up there. Like, it's Kelly Ben-Simon. I'm like, my name is Kelly Killarine Ben-Simon. And I am a mother. and a writer. Well, why did you keep the Ben-Simon name after the divorce? I wanted to get rid of it, not to be rude, but I wanted to...

Like, I wanted to burn it. No, no, no, no, I didn't want to burn it. No, but I wanted to have my own name, and I wanted to go back to Kelly Colloran, but because I was known and I had, you know, all the books that I've written with Aseline and everything was Kelly Clorne, Ben-Simon, and my byline for everything was Kelly Clorne-Benzum, that I just kept Kelly Cloran-Benzum as like a professional name. And Ben-Simon is such a beautiful life. name. I like it. Ben Simon's beautiful. And it's also the name of my daughter. Yes. Yes, who have

beautiful names as well. But I want it. I was like, one day I was like, Geel, I was like, they're Coloren Ben Salon's. So can you add a calorin? He was like, no. I was like, oh, God, he's so nasty. Are you still talking to him? Well, he lives next door to me. He lives next door to you? Like, not down the block. Like next door. But you'll like see him at coffee shop sometimes in the morning? No, no, no. Not coffee shop. Like when he opens his door. I'm like, aloha. Oh my God. Do you see, like, is he dating? Yes. Ew.

Yeah. You want to hear a really funny story. Yeah. Okay. So, see and Teddy were away. They were at camp or whatever. Close your ears. They were at camp.

And I had gone, it was like during the summer and I had gone in this really fun day. I was feeling gorgeous. I was like in a mini dress with heels. I just got my toenails painted. Oh, yes. I was like loving life. And I came back from the day. I was like, la, la, la.

And I hear Kiki. And I was like, oh, sure. sugar. And I turn around and he's on a date with this girl. And she's like, Kiki, Kiki, Kiki. Kiki. Kiki. Kiki. Kiki. Kiki. I'm like, hi. I'm Kelly. And she's, she's like, Kiki. And I'm like, okay, my name is, my nickname is Kiki. Yes. You're like, that's really annoying. Can you please stop? Can you please stop repeating Kiki? Okay. Anyway, he was loving life too, apparently. So it was really funny. but I was like, oh, my God. And so what everyone calls me,

when people call me Kiki now, after that experience. It's a trigger. It's a trigger. I'm like, Kiki, Kiki. I'm like, no, no, I can't keep saying that to myself. It's weird. Stop, stop. Stop, Kelly.

So if you can give your. But that is my nickname Kiki, so. Which is cute. But people have to earn calling you Kiki. They can't just like hold your ex-husband's hand and call you that. Right. Or repeat it 50 times. Yeah.

Just because you repeat things over and over again doesn't make yours. It doesn't make it funny. Or yours. It's like an alarm clock, to be honest. I want to know if you could have given yourself advice on the show now. What advice would you have given yourself? Do the exact same thing that you did. Because if I hadn't done when I did, I wouldn't be here today.

In this very moment, I had my podcast. True story. I would be like if I hadn't stuck up for myself and if I hadn't been like, ladies, I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but you're welcome to send me your CV or, you know, just so I'd, I can get a backstory on you, and then I'll be a little bit more, you know, open. I was always asking them questions. I'd be like, ah, she doesn't? No.

Like, no. I don't. No. Well, that's the whole point of the show. Like, if you go on a show after knowing what other seasons, what things that happened, it's not real. Right. It's real that when you meet new people, you ask some questions. Right.

And also, coming as a new girl is tough. Yeah. I was lucky and got to come in with Paige, so we had each other. Yeah. But coming in as a solo new girl, it's just rough. I'm enjoying it. Well, you have a different form. you have a different format so we film every weekend yeah and then during the week like I'm living

my own life and you don't you kind of hold off on like any arguments or love things you're having for the weekend right but then during the week your friends are like what happened last weekend I'm like honestly a lot and I don't feel like talking about yeah but it's so weird because like your week is like filled with like all these you know you know whatever you know your work schedule and life schedule and then your weekend sometimes that's not you want to like decompress so you're kidding me as someone who likes to lie down and pet her cat all the time You're like, no. The weekends, I'm the kind of person that I'll go out on Friday, and I can't go out Saturday.

Yeah. But now, you know, I am drinking for a lot. But the cool thing about Summer House is they do capture, like, this podcast aired last summer of, like, me just launching it. So people are following my growth professionally. And on the show, I wanted to show that, like, women can be bosses, women can be funny, women can be strong, women can be sporty. And I'm not going on it to be, like, look how good I am at partying. Right. That's just a side factor.

I'm actually kind of bad at partying. I'm good at eating. Well, it's so funny because I, you know, I do these cartwheels all the time. People were like, yeah, she's such a free spirit. It's like, yeah, that's not a bad thing. No, well, you're very similar to millennial mindset. It's good to be open. And it's like that's when you're educated is when you can be open, is when you're not educated when you're closed.

Think about it like that. You're right. People that are like, no, no, no, it's not for me. It's like, well, you're just not educated to realize that. the people that are the major game changers and pioneers are the ones that are like, you don't think I can do that? Watch. I feel a lot of confidence from you, which is I think why I like you because I love a confident

girl. But I want to get a little deeper. Uh-oh. Because we're in hell. I forgot for a second because you're charming. I forgot we're in hell. She got me all smiley. Now we forget dark.

Dark, dark. You're a supermodel, but what? And I actually did a little shoot with her and I show up. and she's so tan just came off the horse and I'm just like I look, I feel like a potato. But what is your biggest physical insecurity about yourself? I think my biggest physical insecurity about myself is, I don't know, it's like not being thin enough is like a thing.

Because like when you're a model, you're always so obsessed with being thin. Especially back in the day when you were modeling. People didn't care about like your health. No. yeah no they did not care they didn't even know that that was like health that was like that's a class in high school it's not like a mindset yeah um so yeah just always like am i you know it's like those kind of i know it sounds really stupid but it's like am i thin enough am i pretty enough not the age thing

i don't really care because i actually feel so much better the older i get like every year i'm like oh also i like that you don't have a lot of plastic surgery it's weird i'm like i don't i'm like everyone's like, you don't look like everybody else on TV. I'm like, well... It's called you look like yourself and aging gracefully. Like, when someone smiles, I think it's human nature that you want to see them squint and see the lines on their face to show like that they're happy. So when someone smiles like this at you, you feel like they're going to murder you. Like, I love that your face moves when you smile. Jesus Christ. Yeah, well, that was another thing, too, is that when I move or like, when I look at something, like,

I actually have gestures. I mean, I have gestures, and I also have facial expression. People We're like, uh-oh, we know what she's thinking. She doesn't like that. I'm like, what? It makes good TV, though. I'm like, ew. Like, ugh. And I think that's one thing, the sports and the workout is a really good thing to impress upon all the listeners, is that whether, whatever age you are, I mean, before I came here, I went for a run.

That was one thing that I grew up as a swimmer. And so I used to swim four hours a day. Oh, my God. I mean, of course, I was in good shape. I swam four hours a day. She was like, I was a mermaid before I was. I was a mermaid before. I was a supermodel.

And so, like, that was always something that was in my mindset, and your body does have muscle memory. And so, but so does your brain. Yep. So I just have always worked out. And when I was modeling, that was the one thing that, you know, when I was living in Paris by myself, that was my best friend is, you know, working out for that half hour.

It's self-love. Even, it's true. Just go on and do, you know, 20 minutes on treadmill and little abs. You don't have to go kick your ass for three hours. For someone with the pressure to be skinny in society, because I mean, you are like such a public figure. Do you have any advice for how to stay healthy with food and your relationship with food? I mean, it's interesting because my youngest daughter now, she's taking this wellness and nutrition class. We were just talking about eating well.

And, you know, we've always, you know, ate relatively well. Like I try to give my girls the opportunity to eat the things that they want because I don't want them to have issues. Yeah. And not that, I mean, you know, listen, I had my own eating disorders that we talked about and I can make you hot. And they weren't really, they weren't like, they didn't impede my ability to have fun. They didn't, you know, like that's what you have to be careful of is that, yeah, people can go on all these crazy diets. Like the, you know, I talk about going, and I can make you how I talk about going on the, it was like the white diet. So it was like, you know, this one model and I in Paris, we went, we ate oatmeal in the morning and then rice it at dinner, which is ridiculous.

And nothing in between? No, nothing. Just white. Oh, my God, that's so money. So your body, obviously, is just eating what it's eating. But, you know, so you're initially, you're like, you know, you look thinner because you've lost some water weight. And you're like, oh, my God, look at me. But you're really not losing weight.

And that's why I can make you hot for specifically the reason you're asking is because the supermodel diet is not being a rail and not eating for three days and, you know, being a bulimic. It's not sustainable. No, it's about the three days before you have an event, take super good care of yourself like a supermodel. like a supermodel does. If they have a shoot, they will go and get, you know, a facial or they'll work out with a special trainer or they eat really well. I mean, supermodels don't just like show up and are like, yeah, hey, guys, they are really regimented about what they do and how they live their lives.

When you stop shooting and then you're like writing all day, how did you change your habits of like you're eating and working out? Because you weren't having as many photo shoots and stuff after being a model. Well, that was the thing too, is that like with my, with my, first daughter I gained like 70 pounds and then I lost it because I was like so anxious and you know with my you know daughter by myself and didn't know what I was doing and nobody was having kids when I was having kids so I had a lot of anxiety and I lost so much weight so I was like super skinny after I after I had my first daughter and then my second daughter I just couldn't

lose 40 pounds like I was 40 pounds over I just couldn't lose it and my accent was like oh Kiki I just photographed Madonna. She does headstand in front of me. I'm like, great. I'm like, I can't even touch my freaking toes, let alone think of doing a headstand. But thank you so much for that. Madonna, you're great. And she is great. She's just, you know, after like six weeks, I was still, you know, I needed to like figure, figure that out. And, you know, your body, the great thing about having kids is that, you know, weight isn't a priority. Raising children is a priority. And so all of a sudden things just start, you know, that's why a lot of when men say I love women after they've had children just because their mindset

changes. They focus on other things and so they become more beautiful because their inherent beauty shines through and not... I love that so much. It's true. And that's why I love talking to you because a lot of my guests like I interview like a lot of female comedians who around my age and we can't talk on that stuff. I've never had my body fluctuate like you know 40 pounds and then learn how to like love myself and realize that's part of life. But love yourself. I mean it was like it was like under it was like a worst

microscope than being on television being in the fashion industry because everyone is a half a pound. So you're sitting in the front row and they're like, oh, she's so ethnic and curvy. I'm like, oh, here we go. And Matt, what do you think about the whole like Kardashian phase of like the body that's curvy but also manufactured? I mean, I think that, you know, there's a look for everybody. And I think that, you know, any kind of augmentation, if that's how you, if that's what you want to do in your life, you should do it because you're only going to be at the end of the day, you know, that, you know, when you come home, the only person that matters is how you see yourself. It really doesn't matter how other people see you. Sometimes I just hope

that people make sure that they've like worked out their own ship and that like a bandaid of augmentation isn't going to like be the answer. True. And then next thing you know, you look like a lizard. Well, it's a slippery slope. Be careful too. Because like once you start doing something, something. I mean, especially we see that, like, especially in like, you know, facial, you know, Botox and fillers and everything. I mean, I've seen friends of mine. I'm like, oh, that's a no. Oh, no, no, no. I'm like, what is going on? Like, don't change how you actually look. But people don't see how they look is the problem. But you know what? But then I'd follow my own advice. Like, if that's how they like themselves, then you have to, you know, allow them. And I'm not the

kind of person that's like, you need to change that. Yeah. It's terrible. I'm just like, if you are happy with it, like. Everyone's going to. their own journey and now we have these options to like so easily like change your face if you want I'm just telling people be careful yeah you want to lose yourself yeah be careful but I think you know you're also a natural beauty so it's hard people are like well Hannah you're so pretty and you're like freckles and you're like healthy and happy your eyes are smiling you know smiling and they're clear and I think that that's something that girls have to really look at themselves and not on YouTube channels they have to like wake up and see how beautiful their eyes are and that white

in your eye is like that's the true testament of being healthy. You can see people that like are drinking too much, partying too much. You can just look at their eyes and you're like, oh, that's a no. It's not about the under eye. That's probably good for us dating right now. Another red light. Show me your eyes. If a guy's eyes aren't crisp, ask him what he's doing.

What gives you anxiety day today? Because I feel like you are a type A performing person. Really? I'm actually not. I mean, if I were, am I a type A person see? Oh, great. C nodded her head. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

See, not and said yes, mom. But you're a weird combination of, like, I want to go and be free, and I'm going to do it. I don't know if it's necessarily about go and be free. It's about, like, I, as a provider of two girls, I have two responsibilities every single day. One, to provide, and two, to be a role model. So, you know, it's not like I don't have kids, and I can just, you know, walk around and do whatever I want and, like, sleep over at someone's house and, like, not care. like I have, you know, two major responsibilities that I'm very proud of. And the other thing is being a provider.

So that means consistent income. And that means, you know, preparing for my future, for my own future. So I think that people don't realize when you're on television, just because you're on TV, doesn't mean that you're not a provider. And, you know, some people have done very successful, very well with using television as a platform. Some people haven't. I mean, I've been very fortunate to have two novels with Simon & Chuster, which were great, a dangerous age in the second course.

Now I'm in real estate, which has been so incredible. And it's such an amazing opportunity. Especially for some new social, it seems like you combined your intelligence with your love of socializing. But I actually love New York and I love interiors and I love. I love New York too. And I love homes. I love to see how people live.

You can tell a lot by how people live. Like people are like on the outside, they're like in their Chanel and then at home they have like some, you know, cheap couch. You're like, what? No, it has to be transparency. Everything has to be like synergy and parity. So you've been dating for a while. What advice would you give to the girls in their 20s, early 30s listening on dating?

To give themselves a break. I mean, I feel like that was one thing. When I wrote at Dangerous Age, my editor was like, I want you to go on all these apps. And I want you to see how men treat women on these apps. And so they were like, is this real? Am I being catfish? Catfish. And I was actually on Watch What Happens Lives with Neve, and I love him so much.

Oh, yeah, Neve. And so I was like, no, you're not being catfish. But then I'm like, by the way, I'm screenshouting your conversations, which are really creepy. Like one guy was like, I'm, he's like, what are you doing? I'm reading E. Cummings in the bath. And I was like, okay, that is weird. TMI. Yeah.

I'm like, really? I also think like. So just be true to yourself. And if you want to date, if you want to date a lot of guys, date a lot of guys. And if you want to be serious, then you have to treat it like a job. Me and you were talking about, I'm recently seeing someone and I'm not sure exactly where it's going. And how, like, I'm trying to decide if I want to be exclusive or not. But part of me wants to be free.

Like, I'm not married. But then part of me is like, yeah, it's hard when, like, because I don't know if he's the one or not. Right. I don't know. And I also don't want to close off all my other options. I'm 27. in. Yeah. So it's this weird in-between phase that I'm dealing with. I mean, I have a school of thought. You're either single or you're married. So if you're single and you're not married, you're single. And when

you're married with a ring on your finger and a contract, you're married. And I feel like with the right person, you're going to be like, yeah, I'm focused and I want to go towards marriage with this person. And that has to be like a conversation that you're having. Like, you know, it's not just being like, this is my boyfriend like this is like we're going to actually do something because a lot of people are you know a lot of young um women and men go through you know because there's so many women and men out there I mean you can like go on an app and be like look to your right and the guy and go on your app and like that person is interested in you and you're like turned your head and you're like oh hi yeah which is so creepy and it's also so it's there's a shallowness to it

because when you're at a bar you're feeling people's energies and their looks where you're on your phone it's just people's looks you're like I don't like your eyebrow I don't like his knows. I don't like that dog. And it's so true. It's like, you know, like they always had these like, you know, people like, people that are like kind of people are like, oh, you're mismatch. It's like, she's tall and skinny and he's shorter and like, how did you guys get together? And you are feeling people's energies and you are like, yeah, that person laughed and you're like, oh my God, love your laugh. All the things that you would be genuinely attracted to and that, you know, it's like your pheromones are like how you attract men and men, men,

men to women and you don't have that on dating apps no what's your type um i don't really have a type i've dated a lot of different my ex-husband was you know gray curly haired and 510 um i've dated a guy that was you know blonde um i'm dating a guy right now that's brunette i mean i've dated a lot of different types of people i just like a personality i like someone that's like gregarious and fun and eager and self-sufficient. I like that. Do you ever feel like you need to find someone who's not as outgoing as you because you might butt heads or you like someone who can keep up with your energy? No, but I'm like you. I mean, I'm not really a cat person, but I mean, when I'm done, you're like I'm not just thinking about my cat all the time. I mean, I literally

like my dog Fluffy and I just like hang out. I'm like, okay, fluff, here's your treats. Here's my tea or my candy, let's watch some TV. Yeah. I'm very, I really, I also just need downtime too. It's like, I can't, I can't sustain like high energy. But, you know, throughout the day, it's like, that's my work day and that's my work energy. And so I do what I can to make sure that it's like on point.

I feel like online, everyone talks about the hustle. And they're like, you got to wake up and you got grind and while you're sleeping, they're working. You're someone who's written like 4,000 books. You've been an editor-in-chief, you've been a model. You've lived so many lives. You have real estate. you have so many moving pieces but you take the time to refuel all the time oh yeah well i mean

i don't go out all the time and it's funny because when i was on housewives they were like she goes out all the time like um it's between six and eight and i'm home by like eight 15 like on the button yes hi guys yes yeah so there's a way of doing it that isn't like hurtful to you well it's also like perception reality so you have to like what works for you and like the hustle like what does that mean we're seeing like people like gary v and all these different people that are like like telling us, you know, how to navigate our lives and like how to make money off of these, you know, new revenue streams, which is amazing. But I think at the end of the day, and I know that this, I don't want this to sound like crystal creation, but you do have to

monitor your own energy and you have to kind of know what's, what are the tools in your tool belt? So, you know, are you a good writer? Are you good at visual? Are you good at communicating? Are you a cheerleader? Like, what are the tools in your tool belt? And write those down on a actual piece of paper, not on an iPad, and just kind of figure out what makes you, you, and just be very aware of those things. Like, I'm a cheerleader. I'm a good writer. I'm a good articulator. You know, I, you know, love helping other people. I love helping people find places to live that makes them feel like the best versions of themselves. I like people to feel good around me. That's very important. I want people to feel good. This is such amazing advice,

you guys, because this is something that I think in your early 20s, Like what C is probably figuring out right now is just trying the things in your toolbox. Right. And then seeing which things in your toolbox actually bring you joy and bring you energy. Because you could be good at things. But it's like what do you actually love? Right. And then making the decision for yourself. But if you're just doing what other people want or what you think society calls success, you won't actually feel successful deep down, I feel like. But I mean, I think my dad always just told me that, you know, do what you love and the money will come. but he also said get your education

so whatever that is if you want to go to vocational school if you want to go to college I mean whatever you can do to educate yourself watch TED talks all the time whatever you can do

to maximize your ability you're like ahead of the game because you want to be like you talked about today I remember in the elevator like see fix this for me and it's like a solution person is a game changer a problem person

is a problem person and they're always going to be problem people and they're always going to be complaining and they're always going to be that energy vampire so just be a solution person get that stuff done and move on I fucking love that are you ready to finish with a final game

because you're killing it I'm getting all like inspired by this because I wanted to bring her to hell but now I'm also she's been in an amazing singing mood this whole time and I did not know this about Kelly we did not know that she was a recording artist it's coming out soon but only three things

Three words at a time. Right, exactly. Just repeating words, two, two words. She repeats words. Kiki, kiki, kiki. It's time to play. She's having too much fun. It's time to play the seven deadly sins.

Let's do it. Seven deadly sins. What are you greedy about? My time with my kids. I have a question. Would it be having our hell for your kids to live with you the rest of your life? Hell. because I know C's perspective tell me your perspective

yeah because I'm just like I want you to be great I want you to be great I want you to be great here you know it's like I'm just constantly trying to like encourage you I heard you wake her up in the morning oh yeah every morning with coffee I would lose it I'm always like good morning my love morning but like at like 7 a.m. Yeah yeah I'd lose it yeah but she's also an early bird an early riser so thank God but you love spending that quality time are they more like friends to you now since they're in

early 20s or you still keep them in check? No. Still keep them in check. Although like C's 21, so like we were at Grand Banks last night, feeling gorgeous, like killing it. We went to the people TV. We were talking about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Love those women. Wait, what's your favorite season to watch right now? I really like Real House or the Beverly House. I love The Bachelor, Bachelor. I love those shows. I'm just like a, I love reality. I just really, really love reality. I mean, I would be so much better on reality now.

You have to remember when I was on reality. it was the ice age you know it was like people weren't real it's like now I would be like a killer I heard you speak about this in a podcast once too yeah can you expand on why you think you were like realer and you would have fit in better now because people now are all about like call people on their shit yeah what's really going on right I mean we it was really interesting because yesterday when as a people TV there's a clip and it's just like me saying like I didn't ask anything of you I'm not asking you I'm not asking me of you I'm not asking me of you I'm just here.

And that's how I was. I was like, I don't even know what you guys are talking. I'm just here. And I think that was something that was a kind of a shocker for everybody. And, you know,

I'm up here. You're down there. It's like, I mean, there's a lot of iconic moments that I had because I didn't have anything to lose. Yeah.

And I didn't know. Did you know it was iconic when you were doing it? No, I was just like, I'm not going to be able with bad behavior. Like,

I'm not four. I'm an adult. I'm like, I have kids at home. I could see like the frustration in your face. I saw, I recently saw that scene. And I also got in trouble for not talking.

So when people would be talking, I just didn't say anything. Because sometimes I wasn't, first of all, it wasn't it a conversation that was interesting to me? Yeah. I had nothing to add to it. So I'm not going to be like, oh, by the way, here's what I think. Do you what I mean? Like, and that's just not. Because they wanted you to get involved in like every conversation.

Which is fine. But it's like if we were all having dinner together and you were having a special conversation about your, you know, this guy that you're seeing. And I interject, you'd be like, you would be like, you would be. like your camera mom would be like, I'm sitting here having a serious conversation, I'm not feeling about myself, and Kelly just interjected. So, like, I already know that about normal socialization. So being on television, I'm not going to be like, okay, by the way, I'm just going to like sit here and like give my two cents.

Was there a time when you realized they started editing it to like that you were being kind of, what's the word, singled out? No, they were always like, you're the best, we love you, you, you're the best. Like everyone was like, you're amazing. We love you, we love you, we love you, we love you. like not once did they ever say anything but I wasn't really being singled out they just they were like they wanted me to I was myself yeah and I was true to myself and I kept telling and I was always and that is the best TV and I've always said it for the last 10 years since 2009 I'm like I have been exactly

myself and there's something beautiful about that I mean what I think is beautiful about reality TV that you don't have another types of TV is you could talk about production editing whatever but you will see these glimmers of truth that is so vulnerable I mean the Bachelor when someone doesn't get chosen that that moment of like just heartbreak is so like real and incredible to see

and then the moments of happiness and confusion and reality can capture that in between a lot of the bullshit yeah which is why I like and when you have people on the shows that are like trying to like you know be the next big thing and like doing all these like you know song and dances and forced and like screaming at people for no reason You're kind of like, oh, all right, I get that.

You can get, you see it. But I think that's why your seasons were so good because your frustration and confusion was authentic. Right. When someone was pissing you off, you would say how you felt. Right. And that's what they tell us. Right.

I just say when you feel something, say how you feel and be real, and that's how you'd be successful. Yeah. I mean, I had so much fun. I was on this show with Patty Stinger. Oh, I love Betty Stinger. And their production team was just so over the top. And I had the best time. I literally was like, I felt like I was like in a spot.

I was like in a spot. They were like, do whatever you want, drink as much as you want, eat whatever you want. Like, I was working out every day. I was like watching news. Like, hanging out. I got my manicure and pedicure from Glam Squad. Then I would go and film and go on these fun dates. And I was like, I am like loving life except for I had this one scene.

It was like, you know, the scene, what's that movie where the guy, they're molding something? Oh, like pottery? Yeah, what's that movie? Anyway, to Demi Moore and she's like, like. Making the pot. Maybe you're making the pot and the guy behind me was like helping me

with the pottery and I was like ew you know that chewing Fallon is like ill do you know what I was like

I was like oh my god Million matchmakers is my favorite my favorite is my god over the top Did you have fun on it? No it's not in Brava it's on Wii TV

Oh on Wii TV now It used to be on Bravo TV Did you go on it recently? I was on there last year it was over the top like really really really fun

Did you And Patty is just so good Yeah what Patty like Because she should be on housewise I've always like Patty you need to be on housewives because she is so like...

She would be so fucking good on Housewives. Yeah. Oh, my God. And she and Luan would be like a really good team because she's like really honest and, you know, but she's fun. She's not like... Oh, yeah. She's not dark.

She's not dark. She's fun. She just calls it like it like it is. Yeah, she's like, are you serious? Like really? Seriously. Yeah. And like she made me feel really good being on that show.

She was like, Kelly, she's like, you're a supermodel. I was like, oh my God, love you. I don't think of myself like that. I'm not like, hey, supermodel, hey. I love the word supermodel. I do too. I think it's so booge. And then I just envision you like running in the street with cabs behind you.

Can we discuss that iconic scene? Was that over the top? Over the fucking top in the best way. I was like doing some research on you and someone was like, I just want to understand how Kelly's only one in New York City that can jog in the middle of the street with cars behind her. That was such a fun scene. I literally, okay, this is what happened. You looked gorgeous. So I was saying this really cute guy and he took me to this Christie's auction.

So I was like loving life at the Christie's auction. He's like buying all this stuff. I was like, oh, hey, purchase, hey, money, whatever. And then they're like, okay, meet a set in front of on 58th Street and Fifth Avenue. And we're going to do the scene of you running in the streets. Because I run in the streets. Have you ever ran in New York City? No, I'm way too scared of a person to do that.

So if you run in New York City on the sidewalk, you have children, umbrellas, people with their phones. You kick little dogs. People, dogs, like all this stuff. There's all these things. So unless you're like an Olympian, you cannot run the streets of New York. And then to get to, you know, to Santa Park or to the, you know, West Side Highway, you have to walk, go through the streets to get there. So I'm like, you know what, it's safer with cars than it is with people. People are not safe.

So stay away from people and hang out with the cars. People are crazy. People are cuckoo. So anyway, they were like doing this scene. They're like, oh my God, let's do the scene. So like the media's at 58th Street and Fifth Avenue. So I'm like, I had to just finished this amazing collaboration. collaboration with owls.

I did this for Bergdorf Goodman. Oh, yeah. My first jewelry collection was at Bergdorf Goodman. I was like dying. And so I made this t-shirt with the owl on it. And like they're like, okay, run. And they had someone behind me. They had like literally, they had the truck, the car be in front of them.

And then they had like a real car behind me. And they were like, I didn't have any like a headset or anything like that. But I was like running after the car because I had a car behind me. Yeah. So, like, I'm, like, literally booking. Yeah, you were. I'm not jogging. You were Tom Cruise.

No, I am, like, literally, like, don't-da-da-da-da-da-na. No, I was, like, literally hoofing it. I was sweating. There's so many fake running scenes. That was, like, real as fuck. No, I was literally, like, I'm going to die here. And I've never, I'm not really good with, like, you know, the one mile, like, in high school. Like, that was not my forte.

And they were like, I mean, we were doing this for, like, 20 minutes of, like, hauling ass and I was like oh my god I'm gonna die you're like I'm a supermodel I'm really good at walking yeah and a solid jog yeah a solid jog for 20 minutes I was like oh my god okay question this is our one question got all the way but you know what the thing is people like send me all these clips all the time but I don't know how to repost them I wish I knew how to like repost them see and I'll help you yeah because of that I have to like that's what I'm going to use for the podcast for you to promote it oh hell yeah that'll be amazing yeah it's like also what did What was the reason you chose an owl?

I mean, I think it's, owls are beautiful, but like, was there any meaning behind it? So I found this owl that was similar to the one that I had made, and I was so inspired because it kind of had like a cherub, and it was this like round and just really charming. It had movable parts to it. So I was like, this is one I'm going to do. This is I'm going to start. I was making, I had made a collection of jewelry for literally forever when I was a kid, like literally putting jewelry together with, you know, like making these friendship bracelets and necklaces.

And then I, when I was traveling, I was always collecting all these medallions because when you're a model and you're 16, you collect things. I don't know what it is. I think it's just something that young people do is that they're always like looking for something that's going to signify where they've been and all these kind of things. And the memory. And for me, it was medallions. And so I wanted to do like a medallion collection. And this company called Bergdorf Goodman offered me my own line. And I recreated these gorgeous owls.

and I just loved the visual of it. I mean, people are like, you're supposed to have a story. It's like, well, it's not a tattoo, so I don't really need to have that big of a story. But I just really loved the icon, and I love the object. Yeah, and I like the simpleness of it. But I also... And I love that, like, there's this woman that I'm, like, obsessed with. Her name is Talitha Getty, and she was, like, the ultimate, like, B-I-T-C-H.

And she was rich and hot and gorgeous, and she was married to Gettie. I love a rich, hot bitch. And she was just unreal. Like, she was kind of, she would be like a great Beverly Hills housewife. She was just like, she would never be on the show. But she was like over the top. And so that was my inspiration for jewelry. I was like, anything that I would like, what would Teletha Getty wear?

And that's why I started with that. I also like that you took on something that you love to do when you were a kid and were able to do it as an adult. I did it with H.S.N. They actually gave me this line of me making jewelry, like as a kid on the pier in Lake of Wisconsin, HSN gave him my own line. So they were like when you go storytelling

you're like you really tell real stories. I'm like, oh yeah, you know this is a real story. So that necklace I was waiting for one guy that said he was going to come pick me up and never could pick me up so I just made three necklaces because I had white, you know, it's like I'm really telling these stories like this is like real time. Like I don't know. And when you're a kid it's like before

you're jaded by like the industry and fucked up by like all these people that have whatever. When you're a kid it's just the raw love of something. And then to you as an adult, it brings that happiness back of, like, the simplicity of when you're a kid, right? Right. But see, nobody ever was asking me, the great thing about being in HSN or in QVC, those kind of vehicles, is so incredible because you get to tell, you know, it's like memories like you were talking about. So it's like, okay, you have these jeans.

Why are you selling these jeans? For me, he's telling jewelry on HSN was like magic. And they were like, you can't, these listeners are going crazy. They just want to hear you tell these stories because they were real. And I cared. Yeah. And you can tell. You can tell.

And especially with like real-eyed TV, listeners, I mean, the viewers are smart. They can tell when it's bullshit. Yeah. And they could tell when it's authentic. I think that's why like to this day you're still so relevant. Which is weird. It's so funny. I'm laughing just because nowadays people do are gone in two seconds.

Yeah. So the fact that you're like such a name is incredible. And I love being on TV. Like yesterday being on People TV. Like I love, you know, I love talking about. about things that are important and that are real. And I love having fun. So, like, when I was in Morocco with Luan, we had the best time.

Like, we're done filming. I told these guys, I was like, you guys, you need to keep filming. Because we're in our underwear drinking wine, and where are you guys? And Luan's got a kick-ass body. So it was like, we were having the best time. I'm not doing anything that's not fun right now. Like, if it's not fun, we're not supposed to be in 10 years. We're not having fun now.

That's why I tell us the entirety. If they don't like it, don't do it. Like, don't do it. And there's freedom and power in that, especially as a woman, to not feel like you have to do anything you don't want to do. Second question of seven deadly sins. Oh, sorry. Oh, no. This is good.

This is like the seven deadly sin dissertation. Yeah. Welcome to our TED Talk. Do you have a TED Talk yet? No. I feel like you should. Maybe. I'm adding that podcast, TED Talk.

She's going to be doing these things. I'm your other manager. Who are you envious of? Jailo. Why? Because she's like such. such she's everything she's a great mom she's a kickass body she just can find love and everything and i love that she came she was jenny from the block and she's evolved and i just i really i really

genuinely but envy is like it's not envy in a negative way yeah i just i i'm envious but i also admire her so much i really really admire her a lot that's awesome yeah i think she's like incredible person. I love her. And she seems like a nice person. Yeah. I haven't heard me about it. I mean, she's a superstar, but she's, I mean, the things that are important, most people don't see kids and family. We don't really see that with superstars. And the fact that she's integrating them in her real, in her professional life, I think is really cool. And I also just really appreciate the way that she has navigated her divorce from Mark Anthony. Like, I just really like that. I like when people handle things well and really like just make things better

than just make things worse. Then just be like this is a shitty situation. I'm fucked. Yeah. It's like you're actually not. It's like you have opportunity. You're just not using. I think she's one of those people that it's not a coincidence and it's not luck that she's still killing it. I think she's one of the hardest workers in the game. Right.

We were talking about that. Really successful people do not just get there through luck. Right. Thank you. Yeah. What are you glutness about? out. So this is a little different. Candy. Candy! You a sweet tooth? Oh, my God. Like a crazy sweet tooth. See, comes upstairs all every night and like, she's like, mom, I have something to tell you. And she's like, are there 40 rappers? I'm like, no. Do you keep candy in the house? Yeah. What kind of candy? Jolly Ranchers and Gabby Bears. Oh, so you like this fruity. And jelly beans. Everyone tells me I should make

my own jelly bean. Oh, my God. Well, Maria Sharpova came out with the line, Sugarpova. Yeah, it's It was, like, cute. I could see you do something classy like that. Yeah. I would love to do something, except for I'm trying to be more healthy. My daughter wants to be. Maybe like a CBD candy that I'll be in right now. I don't know.

It's not really my vibe, though. Yeah, we'll think about it. Yeah, exactly. We'll talk to your Doddager about it. Exactly. My dodger. Seabird, what do you say? When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath?

Every day. Honestly. Do you get paid? Pissed off easily? I have a very... I have a really bad temper. I mean, if I'm mad... I am the most even-keeled person,

but if you turn me the wrong way, like, it's not good. So you can't control the emotion? And it's not like, oh, she's in a bad mood because she's in a bad mood. It's not that. It's just like, you've pushed me and pushed me. And like, I am like, I'm like,

I can figure it out, I can fix it for you, and that if you just, if you push me too much, I'm just like, you are done. Do you burn a, like, do you cut a lot of people off in your life? No, no. You just get pissed sometimes. No, because I always feel like there are people come into your life for a reason. So I feel like when you cut people off, it means you're cutting off a part of who you are.

You're attracted to them and you gravitate towards them for a reason. So if people aren't doing things the way that you like the way that they're doing, maybe you need to change something in yourself. Maybe like not worry so much about those kind of things. You know what I mean? That's smart. It has nothing to do with them. It has everything to do with you.

Are you trying to be less angry sometimes? No. You like that you can like have your emotion on your sleep. Absolutely. I like that people know that when they make me mad, they make me mad because it shows like my barometer. It's like, you have boundaries. Yeah. I'm like, no, no.

Make your bed. I'm just kidding. See her. Make your bed. I'm such a people pleaser that it takes me so much to get angry. And once I'm angry with you, like, it's done because you probably pushed me to such a ridiculous point. Right.

And part of me wants to be able to be more assertive and firm with people. Yeah. So I feel like there's an in-between that I need to get. I just, I guess, too, like from just from being in Housewives and, you know, just being like kind of, I was, you know, I was raised in reality TV through social media. Like, there's so many people that were on TV before me, they're like, oh, my God, the best time, I was like, oh, my God, I was the social media and it was crazy. It was the ad.

It's like you have to remember, too. Like, when I was on television, it was the advent. You're like in it, using it, working it. I just learned how to maximize on it, but I wasn't like- No one knew what they were doing in social media back then. No, now I'm actually able to, I can sell my own products on social media, like the things that I can sell, I sold my books on social media. Like I've sold so many products in social media because people are like, wait, every

single thing that Kelly Ben-Simon is wearing, I can actually buy. I'm like, yes. Yeah. Everything. It creates this great connection, but then also you still need boundaries with people. Right. But I also realize, and like even Sophia Figuera does this. So I'm like, I don't feel like so bad. Like I don't feel like such a loser for responding. But she like will be like, if you're not nice to me, she'll be like, who are you? Right? And I'm just like, yeah, kick ass. Go for it. Tell them off. But at the same time. Do you get a lot of hate online now still? I get so much hate. Really? Because, you know, the show comes on all the time. And so people are like and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I'm like, okay, you don't even know what you're talking about. So it's like I- It kind of sucks that so many years later you're still dealing with that. Well, it's interesting that it's actually good news because I can constantly be, you know,

sticking to who I am and say, like, I understand what you're saying and I understand what you are afraid of, but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking, you know, I was very, very proactive and reactive about, I have boundaries. I won't put up with anything. If I don't like what you're saying, I'm just not going to respond or I'm going to be like you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing. And, you know, in life, you know, people make choices and you're going to have, you know, whether it's, you know, getting, your child is getting bullied or you're getting bullied or, you know, there's always going to be those people in your life that are going to come after you. And you have to be able to be like, just channel me and be like, I'm Kelly fucking Ben Simone.

And I just don't care. Okay, you guys, if you're listening, just comment, I'm Kelly Ben Simone. No, no, I'm Kelly fucking Ben Simone. And I just don't care. I'm Kelly fucking Kalloran, Ben's Snow. I don't give a shit. Everyone just comment that on anything. When was the last time you were a sloth?

So lazy. Two days ago. What'd you do? Like when you want to decompress, what is your go-to? I eat pad tie. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. I haven't had that done so long.

I'm wondering that tonight. I take me to get ice cream. I drink a lot of beer. Oh, you're a beer girl. Well, you're from the Midwest. I guess it's in your blood. Yeah. That's good.

Yeah. You're like just beer and candy. This is a little tough one. When was the last time you let your pride get in the way of something? Like, do you have an ego with stuff ever? Always. I mean, I always have an, you know, ego, my ego is a blessing of a curse. My ego fuels me to wake up every day and go work out and, you know, make sure that I'm the best version of myself.

every single day and providing and all that. That's my ego. But it's also a curse because, you know, it's like I get exhausted or I get like overwhelmed or like things don't happen in the way that I want them to. And, you know, that's what, you know, that's the hardship of wanting. You know, it's like I want to do well. I want to be a great provider. And my ego gets away in a lot, you know, in the way of me a lot.

And I think it's good to identify when it's like, pushing you to like wake up early in the morning versus like hurting you mentally because you're feeling really bad about yourself. Yeah, because sometimes I'm like, oh, I just need to just like run just because I need to just like not think about doing something. I just need to not think. What's your workouts typically because your bod is amazing? Again, like you have muscle memory. I've been working out. I've been working out. When you were younger, continue working out not because you want to be thin because you want to be awesome. If you want to do well in life, you got to keep that engine going

and it's not just about you know having abs it's about your brain like always feeling like it's being fueled you're so right it's almost like a dog that needs to be run dogs aren't run because necessarily they need to lose weight it's because they're fucking jittery and they have to be run

I think as humans yeah like I need to run for my anxiety getting in my head I just need to let some energy out yeah I mean even I mean you know like we talked about like when I was modeling I ran you know when I, I mean, I've always exercised. And so now, like, I do a lot of soul cycle.

I love soul cycle. I just love the music. I love the camaraderie. I also just love to go run yesterday. It was, like, super hot. But I've been, like, I just was out there, and I was sweating, and I just felt really good about myself. And I just like the idea of accomplishment, too.

Yeah. I like that. But I really like to run. Sit-ups, headstands, backbends. Oh, headstands. You wild. Headstand? You wild.

I have to learn it. I'm, like, not. flexible enough to get my legs up. Wait, I just did paddle boarding. I did yoga on a paddleboard. Did you do a headstand? It was not normal. It was so, I came back from Guernies and I was like, hey guys, look at my body. Paddleboard yoga. Paddleboard yoga is over the top. Paddleboarding is period, like the most amazing thing. And it's so relaxing and beautiful. So relaxing, so beautiful, so much fun. It was great. I really had a great time. I have one other selfish question to ask you. And I love to ride horses. Oh yeah. And I don't love to ride horses because.

because I like to wear clothes that look like you came out of a Ralph Lauren catalog. I love to ride horses because I literally love being around animals. I'm obsessed with being around animals. I'm obsessed with being around animals too. And when I get on the horse, it's just like everything else is like, just goes away. I think the fact that you have these side passions have probably helped you in some tough times in your life. Side passions.

Side hustle passion. See, some people have side hustle. It's like the passion where people see you and they're like, oh, she's on TV, she's on this, but they don't see all these other things that fulfill your life. Right. And I think and that's one of my regrets is that I because I was

unclear about what was going on I wish that I had been more transparent with the fan base and been like because I was going through a lot at that time and I wish that I'd been more transparent with them about the things that I was going through because I feel like a lot of people have learned to navigate certain things like

you know postpartum um you know it weight issue like i've gone through a lot of things i've come out the other side and my mindset isn't complain about everything my mindset is like there's a problem there's going to be a solution yeah you're tough on yourself and i wish that i had been more proactive with the fan days because with reality tv you can't see what's going on in your head and they're just seeing you having like your own tumultuous talks with other people yeah what were you going through at the time um i just you know my kids were so young

and I had an issue with a boyfriend and I had an issue with trying to have people help me co-parent and I was trying to make money and, you know, trying to have a new life and to, you know, pivot. And there was just a lot of variables that were happening. You know, when you get divorced, people are like, you know, I had made money before. I got divorced. I, you know, I was like, okay, this is my money. This is what I have. This is how much it costs for me every day to wake up.

so I'm like I need to figure out what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it and I think that people didn't realize that you know I make money and I have you know like I have a career and I want to maximize on what I'm good at and also just raising kids you know raising kids on your own like I mean they were when I was on housewives say they were eight seven and six and eight eight and ten like eight and ten six and eight Like, they were young, young girls. And, you know, I wanted to protect them, obviously, because they don't need to, like, when I go to a modeling shoot, like, I'm not like, oh, kids, be in the shoot. You know, it's like I wanted to protect them and make sure that they had, you know, an infrastructure where they were safe because I didn't know what was going to happen in reality TV.

And I knew people that were famous that were, like, had a lot of issues with their kids. And I just didn't want that for mine. But, yeah, raising kids, I wanted, that would have been a really, I mean, I wish that we could have talked about that. I wish we could have talked about just navigating time and energy and food, like how that works, too, when you have, like, such long work hours, like my actual work day and then filming day and those kind of things. And just like all the things that I was doing, I wish I could have like, guys, I just had to have this and I just did this and da-da-da-da. I remember you'd show up late to something and everyone be like, Kelly is fucking late. And all they see is you come in instead of you being like, oh, I had to drop my daughter off or I had to.

to finish this, you know, photo shoot or whatever you were doing. I mean, I literally was on another show. I had two kids by myself. I was, you know, working for Mag. Working for Socializer at the time. I mean, I was, I had an actual working life. And then they'd be like, come to my, you know,

Rose event. And I'd be like, okay, but I'm going to be. And I would tell them before. I'm like, I'm going to be late. And they never said, like, by the way, she texted me and said she was going to be late. And I'm very much like that. If I'm late, I'm like, listen, I'm going to be late.

I tell you before. and then I always write a note like I apologize like I know that may have made you feel upset but I you know this is what I was doing and your time is valuable I'm like the queen of thank you notes just because I want people to know that like

I genuinely care about their thoughts but sometimes I might not be able to do what they want me to do at that time but the little note can go a long way the little notes Kiki when was the last time you experienced lust who was the last person you lusted over

do you have like a celebrity cry? Josh? Yeah. Josh Hartnett. I always thought it was really hot. Yeah. We were talking about this yesterday. At People TV,

we were talking about like not having sex for 30 days. And I was like, the hairdresser was talking while he was blowing up my hair in like 10 seconds. He was like, oh my God. He's like, could you ever not have sex for 30 days?

And I was like, wait, who hasn't had sex for 30 days? And could you have? And then I was thinking Josh Hartnett didn't have sex for 30 days in that movie. And I was like, Josh Hartnett's so hot. And they were like, what are talking about?

I would have sex with Josh Hartnet 30 times per day. on 30 days. Yeah, they were like, wait, what do you? Like, how does your mind work? I'm like, listen, I'm over the 30 days of not. I'm on, I'm way ahead of you on Josh Hartnett. I don't know what you're going to tell you now.

Lust. I mean, you know, I don't really, I'm not like a, I can't really say like I have lust. It's not like I'm like, first of all, C's in the room right now. So it's a good conversation. But, you know, it's like I obviously am attracted to a lot of people. I'm more of like a love. kind of person than a less. I mean, some people are just like, I just want to get laid.

Yeah. And I'm more like, I just want to like spend more time with that person. Like I'm just like, you know, like you are with your cat. Like not that I'm not like I'm trying to equate. Oh no, I fuck my cap. I'm just kidding. I'm not trying to equate cat love or man love or, you know, other kind of love. No, but you want a companion.

Right. Yeah. Like that's what I need. Because when I'm like, because I'm on so much that when I turn off, I want to turn off with that one person that I can just like hold hands and like. I love that. So to wrap this up, thank you for coming to hell. I have to say, like, the takeaway from this for me was just kind of like when I talking about housewives and, you know, everyone always talks about the negative stuff. But for me, like,

that one, that was one thing that if I ever go back on television, I will make an absolute point of being like, you know, I always talk about transparency and I was so transparent in my real life and my television life. But that's one thing that I will definitely, definitely make a concerted effort to do is to really, you know, talk through what I'm going, what I'm doing, what I'm feeling and how I'm going through it and what are the problems and what are the solutions so that I can, because being a role model and being a provider are two my big things that you know. But being a role model, you have a responsibility, your responsibility to open up and you have a responsibility to show change. Yeah. So like that is something that I would definitely do. I think we kind of hit an epiphany here because, yeah, I know you've gotten a lot of positive. that are like, why did you do this? Why did you do that? And I think that you're very quick to be like, I have no regrets. I did my thing and that's like how you feel about it, which is true. And you were very open and honest with how you felt in the moments they were watching and the people you were talking to. But I think it would have been even stronger if we had seen

like you struggling and the truth behind that and then how you overcome it. Right. So tune into Summerhouse next season. I'm just kidding. No, but I think that's one other reason why I love to do podcasts and I love to go on other shows because I really, you know, I had a lot of fear when I was on that. You know, it's like I was taking a massive leap of faith. Yep. And you don't have control. No. You're not part of any of the creative.

You're not writing any of it. Right. My final question is, what advice would you give to people who are currently going through hell? Or how you've kind of survived hell. Feel it. Because, I mean, literally, we talked about that. Like, you know, when do I have these? I mean, every single time I open any social media,

there are those people that really adore me, but they're people that hate, they hate really. There's something about me that makes them really, really, really hate me. What do you think it is? I think it's just that they're afraid that they're not good enough, that they think that I'm judging them. And that they're, and I'm actually not. I'm just like, I'm not judging you.

I'm just saying I won't put up with certain. certain things. And that makes people very afraid. That ignites fear in people. And I've known, I mean, people come up to me on the street and they're like, I really, really hate you, but I love you. I'm like, it's okay. It's all right. I'm like, and I talk to them. I'm like, what is it? Like, they're like, you are really nice. I'm like, it's fine. Just let's we can go through this. And I, no, and I was like, whoa, I was like, wow. I was like that, and I think that's one reason why I have longevity is because people are just like, they want me to like them, but I do.

So people survive their help by feeling. And what, exactly what you just said, like if I had articulated or if I had really shown like how much pain I was actually going through, and people would have been like, whoa, that's not cool.

And they probably would have seen me in a different way. And that was my fault. But not even your fault. You were being strong. In your head, you were being the strongest you could be. Right. And you were helping,

like you don't want to get your kids involved. Do you want to bitch about being a single mom and how, seize whatever you wanted to seize 10 and being a little asshole and she won't go to soccer practice she won't put on her ballet bun so it's almost like what you said to feel it and not to feel it not be afraid to that's okay to admit that you're struggling sometimes yeah to work through it it is okay but it's yeah when you're in hell you have to feel it because if you're not feeling it you're never going to find the solution if you're constantly just complaining if you're having a hard time

and just constantly complaining, all you're doing is just deflecting. You're just putting it to the side. You're like, my life's worse than your eyes. It's worse. It's worse. It's like, it's not saying like, oh my God, I've got something really bad going on right now and I need to figure this out. Like every problem has a solution.

That's not being tough. A strong mental person is able to recognize an issue and find a solution. A weak mental person just constantly focuses on that actual issue and never finds possibility. That's my point. And I think that if you don't address a problem immediately, I believe that life will repeat that problem in different ways until you learn how to overcome it.

Whether it's like kind of guys you're dating or kind of friendships you're having or way you speak to yourself in different ways. So it's true. It's like feel what you're feeling even though it's scary, even though it's sad. But that's why it's so great to have a publicist like Lizzie Grubman not to not to give the love to the Liz.

But, like, honestly, like, we've known each other for so long. I've literally known her all of my life. And I, it's just interesting now to be able to work with someone who is so incredible and is able to, like, manage me and sees like, you know, you're really good at this. You're really good. I've spent my life protecting myself. Yeah. And my kids. And your kids.

And your kids are all grown up, Kelly. You can do whatever you want. Whatever you want to do, I will support and help you and guide you and give you the framework to do that. And I'm like, whoa. I think, are you sure? Because I'm about to go crazy. I'm about to go crazy. Well, I can't wait to see.

It's Kiki Time. This is your new podcast. I was like, never knew how musical you were. Never knew. Yeah, my rendition of Hammer Time. Okay. Kelly Time. Kiki's Kiki time.

I can't wait to see what kind of stuff you have going on in the future. Where can people follow you? People can follow me on my Instagram. Kelly Ben-Simon. you can always contact me on Twitter and I do respond to everybody because that's something that I love to do Kelly Ben-Simon

my fan page on Facebook everybody loves that fan page that's Kelly Colloran Ben-Simon So cool No but if you DM me That's one of the things that like have been really good for me too is like if you DM me and you ask me

a question I will respond to you I mean if you're going to send me something crazy I'll be like no thanks Yeah But if you do have a question I'm always here to help you And if you think that there's something that you don't like about me,

please tell me because that's, I want to be better. I want you guys to criticize me. I want you to tell me, hey, Kelly, I like this about you. I didn't like that about you. So if it's,

as long as it's not creepy, you can DM Kiki. Yeah. And you definitely follow her. If you guys love this podcast, please share it. Please rate, review, do your thing.

Yeah. And thank you for coming to hell, Kelly. And I'll talk to you guys later. Bye. Bye. Ha ha ha ha ha.