Berner Phone - LaurDIY: Arts & Crafts & Hoe Phases

Episode Date: December 9, 2021

She is the Queen of DIY and her career has blown up from fun YouTube videos to HBO Max. She's dealt with public breakups, rebranding her identity and finding love in LA.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I was reading your Wikipedia, which was the funniest Wikipedia I've ever run. Oh my God, I'm like really nervous. I don't think I've looked at my Wikipedia in a really long time. Oh, my God. Your Wikipedia is hilarious because it was like, okay, you got out of this public relationship. And then it goes, and then you wanted to have your ho phase. And I put ho phase in quotations. And then it's like, but it didn't really work because she met her next boyfriend.

I'm like, did I just read ho phase on Wikipedia? Welcome to Burning. okay what's up guys we have another episode of burning in hell i'm so excited for this one because we have a lot of creatives on burning hell and this woman is the DIY queen but has also evolved into so much more we have lauren remaki on the podcast what's up girl oh my god what an intro thank you we both just woke up i know literally i'm like oh no i'm thank you so much for this beautiful intro so early starting my day you're like can you lower the volume please but um sometimes my weirdest podcast or when i'm a little bit tired but i'm so excited to have you on because

i have never fully committed to DIY but i am like i love creativity i love making things i feel like it's the only joy i have in life um but you've been doing creating for over 10 years like and monetizing it. And now you have an HBO Mac show. You're in the second season of Craftopia, which is a very cool name. And then you also have your own podcast, which is with your boy toy,

Wild 109, which, and I can tell you have a good sense of humor just from all these random things you're up to. So I just want to say welcome. Oh my God. Thank you so much. God, literally 9 a.m.

What an intro. Thank you so much. So let's backtrack a little bit. Have you always like to create things? Yeah, I mean, I've always been a pretty crafty kid. I feel like growing up, I was an only child. And so instead of like turning into like an only child spoiled brat, I was just like out here crafty and like making things, doing DIY stuff. Oh my God. Because normally you'd be able to play with your sibling, but now you had to find creative voice to entertain yourself. I love that for you. Were you good at it? Yeah. I mean, I was pretty good. I feel like my dad is super, super handy and my mom is like pretty detailed. Or, granted. So it was like a nice little mesh. I feel like a jeans that set me up to be like pretty solidly okay at crafting related and stuff. They're like we're going to create the perfect crafter. Yeah. Like they're like Richard Williams of DIY. Oh my God. That's amazing. So what made you decide you wanted to start? Because I read that you're an introvert. What made you decide that you

wanted to go and put it out in public. Like a nice little bout of depression, I feel like in college. I mean, that was like the original kind of thing. So like when I was my first year of university in Toronto, I was in, I have a degree in printing, which is super fucking random. Yeah, I know I can see your face and I feel the same. What is printing? I mean, I don't know how to print so I could use the degree. Wide format, like actual like ink to paper hardcore, intense

like printing. Yeah. That's a major, right? So I didn't, that's a major. Because that seems like a class in art school. I wrote whole ass papers on like the density of ink, the stretchy of ink, the striciness of paper. Like it was so, so it was like, I didn't realize that I was like

enrolling into this like big, very like print. industry heavy program. And so, um, like initiate depression being like, oh, my God, this is not what I thought I'd signed up for. And, um, I like didn't really know what to do. Okay. Like college in Canada is in a totally different price range in the States. So like, if I feel like it was in the States paying like 50K a year, I probably would have like stopped and like switched majors or like gone to community college or whatever. But in Canada, it's like $6,000. So I was like, okay, I'm just like write it out. See, yeah, I know it's like insane. And so I was like, I'll just, like, write it up and see what happens.

I'd, like, made some good friends. And instead of, like, just hating my life and doing school, I was okay, like, what can I do on the side that will, like, be fun and be creatively fulfilling? I love it so much. And you also edit, like, you're very, you have, like, a whole team, but you are really the heart of your creativity. What is the best part of making YouTube videos in the beginning of your career and was the worst part? It was just, like, something new and exciting.

and like learning something and honestly just like biggest distraction from like hating my programs like that was the best part obviously the worst part is obviously like the awkwardness of learning how to talk to a camera i feel like nine years ago i mean now like everyone's a blogger everyone's like talking and making stories and like doing live streams so like it's much more like normal but i feel like back then i was like making videos on my webcam on like my 2011 Mac so like it was not something that was I don't know that like widely accepted is like not like that feels like too intense but like sitting in my dorm room talking to a camera 10 years ago

feels like like early in its time you know what I mean like it was just so awkward and so weird she yeah you walk yeah so ticotkers can run so ticographers could dance what yeah so they could do the one being on camera and how has that like evolved over time oh i mean i think just like having to listen to your own voice for like an absurd amount of time like really can like fuck with you and also just like looking at yourself like anytime like you like start gaining weight and you be like see it in your face immediately or even just like you're just like you don't mean like your appearance having to like look and listen to yourself so often it's like i feel like not super mentally healthy

for someone like you're just like unnatural but like have to like listen with yourself that much And I think also like the insecurity of having like a very, very small, like zero to like small following at the beginning and other people like knowing that you're doing that with like no one watching at the beginning is also like a weird thing that can make you feel super self-conscious. It's all judgment. But those are the great stories that like later on when you're on HBO Max hosting a show being like, remember when no one watched my videos? Yeah, exactly. When I had 10 viewers, it was mostly just my mom. But it shows that you really enjoyed what you were posting. Like you weren't doing it for fame necessarily. You were doing it to find like some kind of happiness. Yeah, totally.

And I feel like when I got into it, like I didn't realize you could make money off of it. And I didn't realize it could be like a career path at some point where I feel like now kids in school are like, oh, I want to be the next Charlie Demilio. I want to be the next Addison Ray. Like I want to hang with the Kardashians like make money from TikTok. Yeah. But I do think the best career stem from people who get into things not for the money. And those are the most like sustainable long term. How long did it take for you to pop off?

So like most people I feel like had a viral video. I never had like anything that went crazy viral at the beginning that kind of like boosted me into stardom or whatever. It was kind of just like a gradual growth. So I feel like I could be financially independent after like two and a half years or so. So you probably created a real steady. like loving fan base yeah i mean also like craft nerds like myself are like pretty nice people for the most part like i feel like there are definitely some like much meaner communities to be a part of

but like craft kids are like pretty nice wait what is a craft nerd i've never even heard the word craft nerd oh my god really i i don't know i mean i feel like that's maybe like too generalized like it's not like your only identity but i don't know like people who enjoy like sitting around by themselves painting are usually people that like tend to be pretty nice i feel like i don't know maybe that's just like how it's like yeah they'd rather create something than like go stir shit up in like a friend group yes yes yes yes literally instead of like being like the like the pinnacle of drama or whatever and i read that you had a lot of girls who were younger than you who were really interested in the stuff and then you kind of over time have been like it really does remind me of

Disney a little bit. Like you're the Selena Gomez of crack. I had to have like like to a mili cyrus like wrecking ball moment like yes break out of like the family friendly content. I didn't necessarily like choose to be so family friendly. I just like I think also too like the guidelines for monetizing content was a little more strict like eight seven years ago or whatever where now they like let you do like mild profanity. but before I just like kept it pretty brand friendly to like do brand deals and like I feel like you don't necessarily have to like cuss when you're making crap videos so I didn't necessarily like see the need to I mean like now I do I feel like a piece of wood you're gonna paint it literally I just fucked it up exactly and so like now I just like talk how I talk in like real life and I feel like it's a much more like authentic conversation like when I'm even just like doing anything creative where before it was much more like formal and like a filtered version. And so then people, I think, just like took that image and was like, oh, like, that's obviously who she is. And so I had to have like a small wrecking ball moment to really break out of that to like connect with an older audience. That was like more my age. Well, they say anxiety stems from when like who you are deep down is different from the little person you're showing to the world. So you, you must have had a moment because it's not ideal to have to tell your management or your brand partners like, hey, I know that my. whole all my followers are these younger people but this isn't who I am anymore and they must have

been a little scared maybe to be like okay well how are we going to pitch you to things if you want to do like stuff about like talking about sex with their boyfriend or something yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean I think it was a gradual enough process on YouTube so like when I started the podcast my boyfriend I feel like we from the very beginning we're like okay this is what this content is going to be so like if you're not interested don't subscribe we're like the rest of my content, I kind of had to do like a gradual transition, right? Because if people have like this idea of who I am, this like clean cookie cutter like a craft girl, like that has to, instead of just doing like a really intense like quick 180, it had to be a little more gradual.

And like at the end of the day, like not everyone's going to like your new content, which like I get like obviously like a hit on your ego. But also the people watching are growing too. Totally. And like the amount of conversations that I've had where people are like, oh, like I fell off your channel because like you were fucking boring and like too clean. but now like I've like we found your content like connected you so much more like I've had so many of those conversations which is so nice well it's great that you stayed authentic to yourself and you didn't just and it's not even like you like you could make money both ways you could have stayed cookie cutter totally or you could be like I would rather be more authentic and I feel like

people will always want to be with the more authentic voice um and also I even say like I was all about like being single and fucking crazy and like do my thing like like men are trash and then i got engaged like pretty quickly and i was like oh no what i bring i like love him but you realize like no everyone goes through these kind of things and you're still you you're just going through a different time so i love that for you also i know yeah like there's like a photo of you like promoting your friends only fans which is hysterical which is more like I mean, I'm, I'm like 30, and I love that kind of just in your face humor. So have you dealt with kind of people not liking the change?

I mean, like, like, yes, obviously, yes. But it's hard to tell if it's just like someone who's like, oh, like fuck this content. Or if they're like, oh, like fuck the person that you've become type of thing. It's like hard to tell kind of like where that person is coming from. like at what point they started watching your content if they're seeing you for the first time now or if they've been seeing you for the last like five years so it's like hard to tell you like when I posted that photo like I would say 99% of my audience was like oh my god this is the funniest shit I've ever seen and then there was a few people who are like you know what actually got a message where

someone was like really angry and they're like this is a family platform and I was like I don't know what side of Instagram you're on but this is very much not a family only platform it's funny because sometimes when you see comments just written down you don't understand the context behind it so it's good that you're like okay maybe this is a random person who like thought i was a DIY channel and got it wrong so there's always like it's not just a general this comment is what everyone's thinking like there's context behind it which is important to remember also there came a point where like you were dating someone before and it was very public you did one of those like youtube breakup videos and it sounds like you did it again and you now have another boyfriend and you're kind of like let's do it differently this time yeah 100% I mean I think like four or five years ago when I was kind of in like a very like YouTube public like facing relationship I didn't go into that being like okay like let's make couples content like monetize the shit out of it like it kind of just ended up there which is definitely not like a healthy dynamic for like an actual relationship and so kind of like when

that relationship ended up falling apart we broke up ordered wage or whatever like making a break of video is my worst nightmare and is like the most like cringe chuggy thing in the entire world like no one wants to do that but like we had like put ourselves in this position where like we literally had to address it because you owe it videos every single day we literally owed it to people and like it sucks to be like oh i owe someone something like a piece of like my like private or like my i guess it's a very like private slash public life but like it was something that we literally had to like and now it's because our content was so intertwined. Yeah, because it's like people on Facebook who are like posting back in the day

posting all their relationship stuff and then they just go quiet and you're like, oh, not right now. You need to tell us the full story. I want the ending. Like you've brought us along this far. Like give us the ending. Or like you've been shoving all your cute moments down our faces. We want to see the ugly.

Yeah, give us ugly. And there are positives to being that open about a relationship. It probably makes people feel less alone or makes people feel more understood in their relationships but there is a fucking emotional toll that it takes oh my god yeah i also think too though like like although it was entertaining i think like in that relationship like although like we like had a great time and like very much like in love when we were dating like i think that it also portrays a super unrealistic ideal of like what a relationship looks like because like obviously we're not vlogging the times that we're fighting and like like you know all the bad times but

you're only vlogging the highlights. So it creates this, like, big illusion of this perfect relationship of, like, a 12-minute edited blog of just, like, in love and, like, laughs and jokes and good times. And, like, that's not realistic at all for a real relationship. And then, as we're talking about before, that causes anxiety because the relationship you're showing to the world is so different than the actual one. And then you're, like, fighting these two. And it's not like the relationship was, like, so fucked up, but it's just no one has a butterfly

rainbows perfection situation all the time. 100%. Exactly. Exactly. And so people are like, oh my God, like love doesn't exist. Like when we broke up, like comments like that, I don't believe in love anymore. And I'm like, fuck. I was like, I just created this narrative kind of like by accident of like what a relationship is supposed to be without showing like the other side of it. Yeah. It made them think like, wait, your current relationship is that perfect? And then one day you guys just gave up. Yeah. Yeah. Little, oh my God, literally that exact thing. And people like, how could you give up on each?

other. You obviously are so perfect. I was like, oh, fuck. I'm like, this is my own fault. Like, I back my own fault. Like, I back my life into this corner. But it's also, I did some reality TV and it's given me reality TV PTSD where like, as you said with the edit, like they show whatever they want to show with it. And then you have to kind of explain yourself, but you're also explaining yourself in the realm of like what you're allowed to say, who you're protecting, whether it's like, the network or the person or whatever. So then you're not even saying your truth in when you're trying to defend yourself or something because it's literally the narrative's been so twisted. But do you guys get to create your narrative? However, that can fuck you because someone could

turn on you because they have their own channel. Oh my God. The YouTube relationship scare me. Honestly, be scared. Genuinely be scared. Like we'll never put myself in that position again. Like you mentioned, like doing it this time and still like giving people like a look in our relationship via the podcast like the conversations that we're having are still like we're talking about our relationship in some ways but also more just like about like real life shit so if we were to break up tomorrow like I wouldn't regret the conversations we had because they're much more like relatable and real and authentic um and also he has like a real job like not that like youtube is like not a real job like it very much is now in like the entrepreneur sense but like he works like

a nine to five in like crypto you know what I mean and look at that consistency and see showing up every finance bro it's funny though because with my relationship we like he like kind of went on the reality tv show for a second and we immediately like felt all the toxicity from that and now we have a like he's very about like what's the purpose of us making a video right now because i he's like it's just so not needed for us like make your own video but we will do a podcast every now and then episode because that shit is real like people listen to just your flow of the conversation and it's much harder to make it look cookie cutter um or perfection and stuff but also i was reading your wikipedia which was the funniest wikipedia i've ever read oh my god i'm like really

nervous i don't think i've looked at my wikipedia a really long time oh my god your wikipedia's hilarious because it was like okay you got out of this public relationship and then it goes and then you wanted to have your ho phase and put ho phase in quotations and then it's like but it didn't really work because she met her next boyfriend like did i just read hofie on Wikipedia. You must have said it in a video. I love when they pull specific things that are like clearly part of a joke that you're talking about and made it like you announce to the world like, hello, I need to have a

ho face. I'm having my ho face. Ho face. But that is funny. Did you really want a ho phase? Oh my God. I was, because I moved to L.A. being in that relationship, like we were a long business for a few months.

I've moved to L.A., like not for the relationship. like not for the relationship like I move for work and like I've been trying to like work on getting my visa forever we just like happen to be dating when I moved and so like I have never really been single in LA and like obviously I've heard you know from friends that like the dating situation in LA is like really hot trash but like I am notoriously brutal serial dater so I like never really had more than like six to eight months of like being single and so like I really was like, okay, like, I'm about to be a hoe. Like, I've got my career figured out.

Like, I have a house. Like, I'm, like, chilling. Like, I'm ready to be just, like, an actual hoe. And then I went on, like, three date. And third date was my boyfriend now and Jeremy. But I also think as a natural introvert and as someone who clearly likes to, like, put a lot of work into one thing in that moment, it makes, like, I'm similar like that too. Some people, I think, who are just more social or more, they actually enjoy going out and, like, meeting new people when I'm like, I just. I just want to meet my person.

I can't deal with this, like, being charming and trying to make all these people off all the fucking time. I just want someone to understand me. Oh, my God. I'm sure also, too, like, as a comedian, like, is it exhausting, like, trying to be funny for other people, like, on a date? I'm sure they have, especially if they know who you are, like, the expectation of, like, oh, this girl is going to be, like, fucking hilarious.

It's going to be the best day of my life. Do you know what's so funny? Once I went, like, fully comedian and started to get some, like, people knowing me from the TV show or my. my Instagram, kind of like I was dating someone and then quarantine hit. And I feel like so lucky because things started to get weird. Like I'd go on a date and someone would like quote something I said on a TV show. And for people listening, you might be like, oh, that's cool. It's like it's actually makes you feel like you're not meeting someone just like raw who's yeah, who's going to know you.

It makes you feel like they have preconceived notions of you and it's kind of creepy. I once had someone be like hey my friends said I should kiss you because they like the show and I'm like what it just started to get weird and then I thankfully just kind of met another comic even though I told myself I'd never date another comic like you said I don't want to date another YouTuber because I had like a comic experience but so I've just kind of stayed in my like comfort surrounding myself with other creative people which I love and that's why I think I gravitated towards why I interview you because I feel like even though you've evolved out of

just like that Lauren who's like in her dorm room fucking around with whatever the fuck you're fucking with but not saying the fuck word um let that's the perfect way to describe it fucking girl with fucking shit but like not saying fuck

you're like oopsie poopsie um did you do you still feel that love for crafts even though you've made it into a career. Yeah, 100%. And I mean, I think that like there's obviously a level of like more enjoyment towards crafting

when I don't have to do it on camera. Like when I get to just like make a piece of art or like so something like just for like fun and not having to like think about like narrating it and like the camera angles and like it's everything in focus. Like how's the lighting and like how is like the positioning of everything. And so like obviously like that portion of it is just like part of the job description of like making content around crafting like it's a second level of the creation yes exactly right like the production portion of it is like another level of creating that like you're still thinking

about which is fun and like something that i don't think i ever considered like i thinking back i'm like oh i never would have considered going to college university for like anything in production because i had just like never done anything like that yeah because you're a full-on producer editor director right and like not something that i ever was like chasing the title it just like kind of happened over time of like making content like this um but definitely still enjoy and also like i'm just like not good at anything else like it's something that just like comes naturally but like the girls who do like makeup and hair and stuff like that like there's so many like you know quote about beauty gurus i'm like i'm just not that bitch and so i feel like have you ever

tried to delve into more stuff oh my god i like did a few makeup tutorials and like got roasted i was like okay we'll just like leave that to the beauty gurus but i also think you are funny and you like talking about relationships so it's natural that you have this podcast with your guy where people get to get that taste of like kind of who you are and a little bit deeper but you also mentioned you talked about are you currently creating YouTube videos yeah oh my god so there's this thing called oh my god this is like psychopathic so it's a thing called blog miss okay and um like i have a main channel that i post like the more uh like the higher production value videos once a week and then on a vlog

channel it's called blog miss for December and you make a vlog a daily blog every single day up until Christmas. I know. I don't know why we do this to ourselves. It's like it makes people like a psychopath and like you're just brain dead by the end of December. I don't know I don't know who started it and why we do this

but it's just like a thing that happens in December that you commit to. How long are these vlogs? They're like 15ish minutes which is like not the craziest to like actually produce on a daily basis. I'm lucky and I have a team of editors and everyone who like handles that portion of it. So I really just have to like think about what I'm going to vlog every single day. But it's still like not something like I kind of did that like daily

blog life for a little bit forever ago. And it makes you crazy. Like it makes you like actually unwell. Well, I also read that you had take in a break in like 2020. Like you were like you two burn out like I need a second. What does that feel like and how did you get back on the bandwagon? I mean, I think that like I'm someone who thrives on a schedule. So getting back on the bandwagon was not like it was not super hard. Because I was like, oh my God, like I'm not good at not working. So like when I was able to just like take a breath, take a moment to think about like what kind of content I really want to focus on and plan a few different like videos to get back into it without the pressure of having to make content while trying to formulate like what's going to be next. I think also, too, taking even just like a month or so off gives you the opportunity to have like a reset button. So even though it might only be like four weeks or three weeks or whatever, like it gives the audience enough time to be like, oh, when she comes back, things might be a little bit different. And I also think that when you're constantly creating content or I know when I'm like trying to write jokes, if I'm always trying to create, you start to run out of like the well of inspiration where sometimes I need like a week to like do stupid.

shit with my friends. And then I literally have like two months of new stuff I want to talk about. Right. Material. Yeah. Exactly. Because you have to be in the real world sometimes to get the inspiration to create yourself. Oh my God. And I feel like the podcast. Like that's where we find like, we struggle the most during quarantine and like the pandemic when like because we obviously live together and we are not seeing anyone else. We're not leaving the house. Like so for a year and a half we're like, oh my God, what the fuck do we talk about? Because we're like not out in the world. we're not going to events like we're not seeing friends like you have no funny stories to talk about we have like no new content to like inspire an hour long conversation because we are spending literally every moment of every day together without like any interact with anyone else so like now that we're able to do i remember like our first trip i think we went to new york as our first trip like outside of like the pandu wandy and we came back we're like oh my god podcasting is so easy like we have so much to talk about You're so, you're so right.

I also, I'm like an entrepreneurial nerd where I just love, especially women who create their own businesses. And can you tell me the process of you being able to lose some control and how you decided to like get some editors to do the editing for you? Yeah. Or like get some, because I know it's not, you don't just find an editor off the street to create the same aesthetic that you've been doing for so long. And also you can't just like hire people to like come up with DIY ideas.

is when like that's what makes you you. So like how have you expanded your team and what have been like the struggles versus like the best parts of it? I mean, I think the biggest struggle is like one, letting go of the creative control. Like especially with editing and any kind of like graphic graphic design stuff. Like you have to find someone who can do what you do but do it better. And it can be really hard to find someone that kind of can emulate your aesthetic like you said, but elevated because obviously that's their like expertise.

So I feel like an editor was the very first person that I. expanded because like although I feel like I was able to like get my aesthetic down and like figure out what style of my edits I wanted to be like so time consuming it was like so time consuming and I was like I need to be able to like use my times elsewhere and like there's definitely someone who could do this better than I can and I mean like you definitely go through a variety of editors that maybe can't nail the style and you have to like cycle through a few people but I got really lucky and I found a great team who were actually over in the UK and this ended up being a really great hack, especially for if you're doing any kind of like daily

content that needs a quick turnaround, you can upload your content at like midnight L.A. time and they're eight hours ahead from L.A. So they're waking up for the day to start working and I can like go to sleep and when I wake up the content can be done. Wait, that's amazing. Yeah, it's like the best hack ever. I also like your attitude because I'm kind of a control freak with that and your attitude of I want to find someone who actually does it better because instead of just being like no one's going to do it just like me. It's like no, no, no, they won't, but they're going to actually elevate it if you find the right way to make them like just surround yourself with people who are actually really specifically good at that niche that like you haven't completely conquered or being open to being like, how are we going to evolve and use people to make it, yeah, better. And you don't have to just stay exactly how it was. wait okay so how did you even process like if you're like good at controlling your content how do you

even process going onto reality tv because that's like a total loss of like being able to control the narrative well i guess because i was i was a comedy video producer and i just kind of fell into it and i was kind of really interested in the production of reality tv like i was fascinated by it all and i think i kind of yeah but the first two years were fun and then the last year like I just saw like kind of the dark side of it and I was like oh oh and then I like I then I got into a relationship and I was like okay I can't put myself through this anymore and you kind of see how like they can make anyone anything so you're like I'd rather just be me and and like it's so much easier to be critiqued when it's you putting yourself out there rather than someone else like

like people judging you off of you know you know how editing works like a small thing that that fits someone else's narrative it was insane but I do think you grow from that kind of stuff but I did learn it's a wild ride but you also are on TV in a different way what does it like seeing yourself go from like that digital YouTube space to being on HBO Max television show I mean so again like I think it was a massive learning process just seeing like the production side of like more traditional media um because with youtube it's like i can turn around a piece of content in like 48 hours but like when we shoot for i have like a 17 hour day that gets cut down into like a 30 minute episode with like 12 cameras and like so like you know so much

goes into it it's crazy to see like how intricate the processes of like traditional production um but i think i was really lucky in that hosting with something of that I think was an easier progression for me than having to act as a certain narrative or a character in a storyline or anything like even fictional because like being a host is like I'm kind of just like the complimentary narrator piece to the content which I think is like you had taught yourself that for a while like you taught yourself hosting basically like you're just like hosting your own YouTube videos right and so then now you just get put on like a bigger set bigger spotlight or whatever, but they also hired me to be myself, which I think also takes a lot

of pressure off of like the expectations of what they want you to kind of fulfill. So I got really lucky in that they were like, hey, we want to hire you to be you to host this content that is already like very in line of what you're doing. Yeah. And I heard that it was like a network executive's daughter who put you on. Yes. Yes. Tell me that story. I owe my entire HBO Max career to a Warner execs, 16-year-old daughter, Grace, who, like, pitched me to her mom. I was like, oh, I think, shout out to Grace. She, yeah, no, she 100% was just like, I think watched my channel was like, oh, this girl would be really good. Like, here's someone to, like, look at. And they brought me. And I was like, oh, my God, like, yeah, obviously, like, this is incredible.

Wow, Grace has amazing taste. And she's going to be a huge agent one day. Right. Like, she could be like a talent scout. Like, I love that for her. Yeah. But it's also funny how. right now everyone's looking for like the you know hot talent on social media and it's like the people who know it are the people who are in it every day and like consuming the real content so it's oh my god now just like high schoolers are talent scouts all the time that's how they should do it genuinely though it's crazy it is so crazy because you know when they like cast someone who's like trying to be like a gen z and they're like saying weird things you're like what is happening

like you know that there wasn't a 19 year old in the room when this was being written you know I love also too like when you find a brand who is very obviously hired like an actual Gen Z creator who's like in it because the tone of things it's like oh like you actually just like went out and like hired us okay maybe not 17 because it's like not legal but you went out and like hired like a 19 year old girl to like write your like um to write the scripts for like your social media and I was like and they're nailing it because like this is the language they genuinely speak on a day to day basis yeah like for a giggly squad my other podcast we have this girl Elena who was just this Gen Z girl who would DM me and like make fun of me all the

time and I'm like, you're really funny. You're hired. And I need you and you're cooler than me and you're hired. And then we have like a joke where she's making fun of us all the time. And it's like, everyone needs a Gen Z correspondent just to like let them know what's going down. I also, okay, I also wrote on your Wikipedia, this is on your Wikipedia page, which is just hilarious and entertaining because most Wikipedia pages will put you to sleep. It said that the guy you're currently with, it said, like, you and your mom or you and someone thought he was gay initially. This is on my Wikipedia. I'm just.

Oh my God. I was like, real. Like, that's what you guys are pulling from conversations. So can you clarify what Wikipedia meant by that, that you just joked once and you were like, oh, he was like to put together or what was it? Yeah. Literally, like, that's kind of what it was. So when we met, we kind of were like, working together. So he worked for like this music distribution company. And, um, I don't know if you

were like on the internet at this time or like not even on the internet on this corner of the internet. But like in 2015, there was this thing called the roast yourself rap where YouTubers would make like a really, it was like a parody. So like it was really shitty on purpose where you just like roast the shitty yourself and like make a rap and do a music video. It was like, it was like a really fun time because it was like very like self deprecating. It was fun. Yeah. Um, so then like, like, obviously being a new musical star, I wanted to put it on Apple and Spotify and stuff

for just like the audience to listen to because it's just like a funny joke. And so he worked for like an actual music distribution company that like does like Frank Ocean and stuff. And so he was partnered with a lot of like YouTube managers for anyone who wanted to do music to put it on to these platforms. And so we connected through that and like emailed back and forth. I chatted on the phone a few times to like get this music situation figured out. And my assistant and I, just because he was like so nice, he had great hair, he just, like, had good styles, like, put together.

Like, I don't know, like, do straight dudes again just like sometimes like so grimy. And he was just like so put together and like had a very like full and thriving vocabulary that I was like, oh, obviously like he's gay. And then on one of the calls, he mentioned his fiance. And my sister and I were like, oh, shit. I was like, oh, he's, oh, he's engaged to a woman. he also can sing and sounds like a Disney prince and so like all of these things are just like too good to be true as a straight male and so like we just assume like that was just the assumption we made and so after he mentioned fiancee who was obviously like now like long gone we like started piecing

together like oh yeah no this this this guy likes like women yeah and then when would you did you start being like attracted to him or how did you guys navigate going from like a kind of professional relationship to like oh wait we like each other as people well so he was obviously like engaged as someone else i was another relationship during like this work partnership situation we obviously i didn't like continue a music career so we didn't really like connect like outside of like that one you're like i'm not yeah i'm not on a grande right now but it was a good time exactly thank you so much for this we're going to leave this in 2015 and i'm going to go back to my corner with your makeup tutorials exactly so like our relationship was kind of just like in a vacuum of that one project and um like two years went by he obviously got unengaged i came out of my relationship and on so we matched on riah first and he saw me on raya slid into my dms on instagram i missed it i missed because like we didn't we hadn't like connected in so long i missed the dm on instagram and then i matched with him on hinge and i missed it and

And was like, oh, the universe was like, we're going to make this happen. Literally, we are like going to force you guys to interact on like a dating platform or social media platform at some point. And so like when I was about to go into my whole phase, I, when I like started getting back into dating, I was like, I was like, oh, I love the idea of going on a date with someone that I already kind of know. So I've been on a date with a few like people that I had mutual friends with. And just like I wasn't ready to like dive into like complete strangers yet.

So I was like, oh, this is a perfect. guy that I know is like not going to murder me after our first date that like we have mutual friends so like here's a great person and you know he's like has good conversation already like you know a little bit this guy has great hair jeans he is like great a conversation and um yeah that was I know the world was like we are going to connect you guys I love that so much because my fiance he kept getting me on riot but I was out of my age range because he's 45 and I was up I only put it to like 34. I don't know what I was thinking.

I was 20. Oh, yeah. Okay. So raise that age range ladies. So he just like couldn't get me. So finally he DM'd me when he saw I was like out where he was living. Oh my God, too. The universe will connect your energies that they're meant to find each other.

And it's not, yeah, he was finance, bro. He probably wasn't verified so you didn't see it. Oh my God. Well, no, he was because he was dating kind of like a famous like, engaged like a famous person and he also had like a very small stint and reality TV with like oh my god oh my god oh my god i don't know maybe this is not the wikipedia too but like you know the movie pitch perfect yeah like acapella pitch perfect so basically when he was in college they like actually do that like all of these college groups have these acapella things and they're really

good and so like the best ones from different colleges went and um competed on this show called the sing off on nbc i remember that Do you really? Okay, so I haven't watched it. I never watched it. And so his college a cappella group, the acoustic cats,

they went on. I know. I know. I know. I know. So they went on to the sing off and competed and they like, they did pretty well.

So he had like, he never had like a singing career or anything, but he had like a small stint in like that world. And so I think that's how he got. Every now then just break into song. I mean, okay, so this is like the best example.

example is that he obviously has the most incredible voice, but he'll remix songs that have like a well-known tune, but he'll make it really vulgar. So like, you know, so I'm like, do you want to build a snowman? He'll be like, do you want to see my ball sack? You know, like he'll do you like that and like remix it with something really vulgar. So it sounds beautiful, but it's just like the content is not like what you would expect from like the Disney Prince voice. I kind of love that you found someone who doesn't want to be like in front of the camera all the time but he's also but he's also down to like yes cooperate with you like he's not like oh don't i'm scared he's like yeah i'll do a podcast yeah i'll take cool photos yes yes okay so won't take cool photos with me but we'll

do the podcast and i'll take what i can get yeah true because i was looking at your instagram i'm like oh my god like you guys have very good couple photos together like my dude will straight up we'll take like a ton of photos and i'll be like you didn't smile in one photo. You look like I kidnapped you. The trick here is that in FaceTune, I've done this before with other friends and also my boyfriend at some point. In FaceTune, they have this little effect

where you can raise the corners of their mouth to make them look like they're smiling just like a little bit more. I'm crying. It's honestly, it's the best. It's genuinely the best. FaceTune can make your boyfriend look like he's having fun. Happier. Yes. Yes, because sometimes he looks like I'm forcing it.

He just looks so. to be there taking this photo that if you're just going to face soon and you can just raise it's literally called the smile filter and you can kind of just like raise the little smirk just like a tiny tiny bit that makes them look like they're slightly happy to be there yeah like too much people could tell you it's fake but just a little you're like oh he's just enjoying his time he's just like happy to be there yeah how long have you been together um oh my god three years four three three three three three three three three and three quote quarantine which is like dog years so multiply that by seven oh my god yeah it feels like yeah exactly dog

how is this different than other relationships that you've been in i mean one i think he's like an adult which is nice and i think like having like uh uh not like when you didn't grow up on the internet i think you know things get stunted and you have like a weird perspective on the world whereas like you know he went to college he was like a frat boy president he had like this weird in like reality acapella pitch perfect world like he's had lots of different like fun jobs and he's like a director level now

at like a crypto company and I mean I think you also just like summarized it perfectly is that he understands what I do and would never be like oh stop taking photos oh like stop vlogging oh like stop like answering emails like really late at night or whatever

like he understands the industry but also doesn't want to be a star, which is exactly what I was thinking. Like, it really is like the best of both worlds. Well, you don't want to feel like you're competing for the limelight. Oh my God. You also want someone that just wants you to shine brighter. Totally, totally.

And I mean, like, he's got his own thing going on and, like, I have my own thing going on. And I feel like it's a really great balance of, like, being complimentary to each other and what we do. And then also coming together for the podcast and just, like, being able to have, like, fun conversations. Yeah, because you want to protect what is yours, but you also don't want to, like, have to hide him so it's this nice balance of like he'll do stuff with you but you also don't feel like you're telling the like you lost control and yeah i remember i got to a point once i dated a guy where

like i just didn't post him because i knew it he wasn't my like end all and i didn't want to have to explain to followers when i break a video and it's it sucks but also like when people start getting all their opinions on stuff because they know too much then it's like they the next you know you're getting people's opinions in your head when they don't know what the fuck is going on oh my god no 100% i mean people on social media will always only ever see just small percentage especially like of relationships that like once they see a little bit of it they start like building this narrative again that like you boost control of and then they start having you know all these opinions and like oh this is why you broke up oh like when she did this at seven minutes in the

vlog she obviously was like thinking it's like this is what that means and we'll just like I love that shit. Shred. Yeah, it's really hard. Oh, my God. Do you stay away from the comments or, like, are you the kind of person that Googles themselves and looks what everyone's saying? I mean, obviously, I need to do a better job of monitoring my Wikipedia.

Maybe I should Google myself more. I'm like, you should at least wiki yourself because that would be great. Yes, seriously. No, I'm all for that page. I think it's the best page on the internet. Oh, my God. I'm dead. I can't wait to go look at myself.

I would say I'm somewhere in the middle. I think that I'm also, like, a huge fan of comment. filter so like I have probably like a delusional view of like having a lot of positive comments because I still throw all the mean ones so like you could blacklist certain words and like you'll just never see those comments but it makes your comments just like a much nicer place for like one the audience and then two just like yourself to read yeah exactly exactly and and yeah there's certain words that you know are coming from a place of like real hate or like they also are based on something that you don't want like if you're trying to move on from a breakup

up you probably don't want comments about people talking about your ex and that's just your mental health yeah yeah and it's like filter out all of it yeah it's like sometimes i feel like comments as a public person is like basically leaving a room and then being able to hear everything everyone's saying about you once you left the room and like that is such a good way to know you know what i mean such a good like view and perspective of it oh my god that's exactly right and it's like the human brain can't handle all that information about like what people think about you. Oh my God. And like so I started all of this when I was 19. So like I'm 28 now. And I think about like these poor kids who like get super successful and all this internet fame when they're younger at like 16 or 17 when like your brain is like barely developed. And I think about how hard it be to like be subject to like all of that scrutiny and like people having expectations and opinions on you at such a young age. Like that would fuck you up. Like. Like. That would fuck you up. Like. I'd never have to start dealing with that until like, you know, early 20s when I feel like I had like a better handle and like who I was. But if like I had that situation going down when I was younger, like that would take such a toll on your mental health.

Yeah. And I was even thinking about like Naomi Osaka and I was a tennis player. So I've been like following a lot of this stuff and how she's the first star who's had to deal with the kind of like infiltration of the social media. And you know, totally. the regular just press and all that stuff like do you think of even like reality tv like when jersey shore was popular they had like one forum where people would shit on them right but it was like and then you'd have like one article in like you know a magazine where now it's just oh god yeah okay magazine so things have evolved and yet it's it's a rough time for these gen zes in terms of that they're blowing up on TikTok

or blowing up in these places but then navigating your mental health and I think what she says right having boundaries having those words that you don't look at and for people who are like I think a lot of people hear about hate and they're like yeah but these people are famous and do whatever they want for living

and it's like I think people learn in life that you could get everything you want and you're still yourself yeah yeah totally I mean also too like I think like traditional celebrities like when they get a review written about them right like people would criticize the role that they played and it's a character and it's not actually them where with like digital personalities

like someone like you or I like we are literally just ourselves and like that's your brand it's just like you so it's much harder to not take it personally because like they're literally having an opinion about us as a person yes and group mentality is a thing where like it can get popular to have a certain opinion on someone. And it's like cool to have that opinion on someone. Yes. And people love to jump on it. And you're like, where did this even start? Or like, why does everyone think this about me? Yes. Yes. Yes. Now that we're getting really dark, I think it's time to play our final game. Now that we're all buttered up to play the seven deadly sins. Oh my God.

Seven deadly sins. what are you greedy about i'm greedy about bed covers i feel like it's just like the never-ending war of like hogging bed covers is that a bad answer no that's actually the most unique answer i've ever gotten when you say bed covers do you mean like do you like when it's really cold and then you put bed covers on or do you like to be just hot oh my god no i hate being hot but my boyfriend likes it really fucking cold at night so I think we sleep at it at like 68 and so I go to bed freezing and dying so like I bundle up hard cores it's so cold and I am kind of like okay talk about that oh my god I think that should be like a prerequisite when you start dating

it being like okay what temperature do you like to sleep at because like things will not be like okay yeah like sleep like good chemistry with sleep is so important or we just normalize like Why do you have to sleep in the same bed with someone? Why don't you get your own room? So our like, okay, we still sleep the same bed. But what like really helps is that we sleep with two separate blankets. Because again, I'm super greedy with blankets. And so like I want to have all of it.

And then we get mad at each other in the middle of the night. And so it is much more harmonious if I have my own blanket. Yeah. So you have to figure out what works out for your relationship. Because just because you are really compatible in a ton of ways, he could like suddenly be the worst nor ever and you can't live the rest of your life not having good rhyme sleep yeah no no i kick him out that that'd be at the end of it for sure yeah who were you envious of who can it be like a what as well too it can also be like a what or like a type of person

a type of person um i mean i'll always be envious of people who like don't have a massive sweet tooth like who just like food you know what I mean like of people who and also like people good hairlines I always say this like people who have really good airlines you have brought up hair and hairlines so often in this podcast why isn't it on your Wikipedia yeah that needs to go on Wikipedia for sure for sure no I just have so many baby hairs that when I see girls I have like just this nice like clean hairline I'm like oh like why is this not me I feel like the Kardashians have done like tons of lasering and stuff to like fix their baby hairs on their hair lines. Yeah, probably honestly. You can always just like buy shit like that. I know,

but it seems excessive, but very L.A. So L.A., so L.A., so L.A. Have you felt pressure to change anything about your appearance since being in L.A.? Not that I felt pressured, but I feel like when I moved to L.A., I learned that like everyone gets Botox, everyone gets filler. No one's hair is real. And I was like, oh shit, wait, this is like, like hair thing but like I didn't realize how many possibilities there were I guess and like how normal it was for everyone to just kind of like do whatever they want which is like nice honestly like like when I like yeah it's super freeing because like I have always wanted lip filler but I thought that like my audience would just roast me because you know like there's always the narrative of like

love yourself for who you are but also it's like if you want to get shit put in your face like go get shit put in your face it's your face and so I feel like moving to L.A. I was like oh my God obviously like don't overdo it and like explode your face with things but like if you want to get a little Botox because like you're getting wrinkly or like you want to add a little filler to your lips like I can go for it so I feel like it's like it's like change my perspective it's definitely like the people you surround yourself with that could be like yeah we do and we don't care and we don't judge you for it but exactly but it is that overall narrative of like L.A. being like you got to stay hot you need to stay hot or you could just move back to Ottawa. You know what I mean? Literally. I think also too like being

on the internet like I always like think about what I would look like now at 28 if I worked like a regular I'd stayed in this like printing industry and I worked like a desk job nine to five like I wonder what I would look like had I just like continued on that path and like not moved out of Canada and like worked like a shitty job like I wonder how different that I would look. I love those there's like memes about like j low at her age if she just like was at a walmart and minnesota you know working as an accountant and what she would look like like a perm and stuff it's pretty great um and it goes back to like are you ugly or you just poor so this is right exactly but also there is something beautiful about like i always think women who just kind of embrace like

the confidence in themselves like whatever makes you confident as a is you're confident. I think that's like the hottest thing. Totally agree. What do you gluttonous about? What are you overindulgent besides hairlines? Um, what am I gluttonous about? I feel like it's sweets. I was literally going to say Cadbury mini eggs. You were going specific. You're like, which one? Okay, is that a very LA thing? I mean, no, not LA. Is that very Canada thing, Cadbury? Um, maybe. Maybe. I don't know. Do you know what I'm talking about? I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know. I feel like I've eaten more of them now in living in the States than I have in Canada. But I do think Cadbury actually might be Canadian company. Maybe you're right. Or they're European. I feel like, well, I just feel like Cadbury is like a highbrow. Like insane chocolate. Like classy chocolate.

Yeah, it's not like Hershey's, you know. Yeah. Even though I will take a Hershey's any day. I'm going to say, I was like, honestly, like no Hershey slander around here. Yeah. You're like, we don't need that hate, that negativity. But I am one of those people, I crave, like, cheeseburgers and, like, fries and, like, steak. And I've created, like, I rarely, like, I don't, my Beyonce loves ice cream and I'll be like, no, I'm good.

I won't do sweets. Oh, but I will take a case of Dia to the face. Right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I was like, I can do, I can do sweet.

I can do salty. I can do sour. Like, I can do savory. like I'll eat any of it and then combined it oh fuck yeah oh I know when was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or anger like do you have a anger side to you not really I feel like I rarely rarely really really get angry but I feel like the only time where I get like I see like actual like white hot rage is like anything relating to my dog like I can already see in my future that I'm going to be a psycho helicopter mom

Like, if my kid gets, like, benched in soccer or something, and I think that they don't sort of bench, like, I can already feel like how, like, mad and overprotected I'm going to be. So, I think anything, you're very kind of, like, type A, get should done. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, like, so type A, it hurts. But, yeah, I think, like, anything related to, like, mistreating of animals in general, but, like, specifically my dog. Yes.

I'm, yeah, oh, my God, you should watch this documentary called Vic. it's about the pit bulls that were in like the fighting ring oh my god that they wanted to just kill and then people were like no they're not bad dogs they need therapy they were mistreated by their owners and it's like the most heartwarming beautiful thing ever anyway i just i'm a big animal lover okay when was last time you when was last time you were a sloth so like a lazy piece of shit. Every day. I mean, I feel like on Thanksgiving this year.

I was pretty slothy. But I would say like on weekends, my boyfriend works like psycho hours during the week. And so like I feel like even though he deserves it more than I do, I feel like on weekends we're like pretty hardcore slothy. So you let yourself have days off. Because you're technically working all the time. Yeah. And also too, like I think the best part like or not one of the best. One of the best parts, one of the perks of being yourself and, like, authentically yourself on the internet is that I can still make content looking like shit. Like I'm not like self conscious about like posting a, you know, a full day of Instagram stories where I have no makeup on. So even though I'm like living my best like slothy life, like you can still work. You can still make content. What is your typical like day look like in the middle of the week? It's like all over the place. So for example, you.

Today, my editor who's in the UK, like, their Wi-Fi is down. So it's like I woke up early this morning. It's like before this, like I started like editing my blog, like have a sleep, kind of fell back asleep, like woke up for like our podcast. And then I'm going to finish editing that video. I'm going to get it up today like afterwards, like posting it, doing all the socials around it. I've got a bunch of emails to answer.

And then my boyfriend, we're recording a podcast later today as well too. And then I'll start filming like the daily video to do to like up tomorrow. So I think, and again, like, it's fun stuff. I'm just, like, making content. So, like, my plan is to, like, meet up with a friend. We're going to target, get some Christmas decor, decorate the house and, like, create content out of all of that. Um, and then I have a few deadlines that I have to do for, like, upcoming brand deals, but I have to, like, prep some content for. Amazing. Amazing. Do you drink coffee? Oh, I actually don't drink caffeine at all. Yeah. Are you just raw dogging it? Just raw dogging it. I literally,

feel like physically like caffeine makes me so sick and like jittery and caffeine too but i'm like always sleepy same like i definitely probably take a nap every single day like i crashed around like four and so even like if i can like like pass out for like 30 minutes i'm like good to go or if i like stay busy i'm usually okay but like i can nap anywhere at any time because i'm always sleepy i'm the same way if i have like a crazy day like boom boom boom boom i'm in it but if there's nothing going on. I'm like, well, I need to take a three hour now. Yes. Yes. It is. Oh my God. Exactly. Like I can easily pass out for an entire day. But yeah, caffeine makes me feel like so ill. It knocks me out because I feel like shit. So it's like the anti-productive drink for me. How's your anxiety? Like when I drink

caffeine? Or just in general. Just like in general. Like you're like, are you okay? Yeah. Well, because you're running your own business and shit. Like where's, how? How is, how? How does it manifest itself and, like, how do you handle your anxiety? I mean, I have a great therapist that I meet with every Wednesday on Tuesday, or sorry, every Wednesday at 2 p.m. He's like my saving grace. And then also, too, like, I've changed medications a few times. And so, like, I feel like I've got, like, a really great tailored medication plan right

now that, like, helps keep me so balanced. I feel like that in tandem with therapy has been, like, my best kind of, like, plan of attack of having a much healthier mental health situation happening right now. And I also think like to now that like I can see family, I can go home, like you're able to be social and just like everything in life is much more balanced. Like I was having a really hard time in like February, March, April when things were still like no end in sight kind of vibe. Like I think I was really struggling then.

My medication was all like fucked up and like I hadn't really found like the right meds for myself. But I think now that everything. everything feels much more balanced, kind of in all respects. Like, I'm doing much better. Yeah, people, I don't think, have been factoring how much, like, your normal anxiety plus that the world is kind of falling apart, how that affects your just day-to-day life, that it's, like, always subconsciously there. Yeah, for sure. When was the last time you let your pride or your ego get in the way of something, like, whether it's a relationship or work or friendship? Like,

How's your ego? I mean, I'm a Leo, so I feel like... Oh, I forgot to tell you, I'm August 12. Oh, no, shit. Oh, my God. That's so funny. Yeah. We're literally the same.

So we're the same person. I love that for us. That's why I'm like, you like, you like can't drink caffeine. And you're like, I don't know you. And you're in a type A bitch. Pride, pride, pride. I mean like on like a not serious level I feel like there was this like you know those like horoscope

meme pages and it will like have a cute little picture and be like here's all like the Leo things about you there was one of them that I was like that's so not me but like in the back of my head I was like I know that that's me and like people will post them on their on their story and be like oh my god like I'm such like I'm such a Leo I was like I can't post this because like I don't want people to think this about me but like I know that this is about me

I literally every Leo post I'm like that's me I'm pretty much all Leo except I don't love like really really fancy things some kind of cheap but besides that but then I'm also a Scorpio rising and Virgo moon okay I don't know I don't know what I'm wait does that oh no no that's based on what time you're born yeah no we'll unpack that at a later date okay okay okay when was the last time you lusted over someone so besides your current boy toy do you have like a celebrity rush I literally this question is always so hard like I like never have like someone that's like top of mine I mean like Ryan Reynolds always like a tried and true you know what I mean like he's like always a go-to he's so hot and this personality is so good so good so good um great hairline great hairline just like great little Canadian guy like he's 45 and he just like looks great looks great yeah like knowing that you put like if I was single I think that I would go to 45, like hearing you say that like your man's 45 and Ryan Reynolds 45. Like I put that age filter way up there. I just posted like why you should put your

age range up because Ryan Reynolds when he's 21 looks like a just like bloated D bag. And then at 45 he's like refined and sexy and looks like he like knows how to, you know, have a 401k. And like that's my shit. That's my shit right there. We love a 401k. Yeah, now I'm turned on. So final question. You've done amazing in hell. What advice would you give to people on how to cope with your hell? Like when you're going through it, when it's dark, when life isn't making sense, what do you do? Okay. So this is like, I can't like attest this, but I just saw this day and I was like, oh, fuck, that's such a good idea. So maybe this doesn't even work. So like let me know if I don't describe this because it sounded like a really good idea, like a really good idea. But someone was like make a folder on your computer of just like shit that makes you. happy. So like if you have an accomplishment or if you find like a really cute meme that you like or a video of your dog that's your favorite or like a really cute picture of your family from like when you were younger and just like try to like good shit that like makes me happy. And like when you're just like going through it, it's like a cute little reminder of just like immediate serotonin things

that like might not pull you at a complete hell. But I feel like the idea of just being like, okay, here are all my happy things that like I know literally release like happy brain chemicals in one spot. Like that sounds like a really good idea. right? Yeah, and it reminds you of a time that you were like, oh, this is so fun and I'm so happy and I like this. So it's like it shows, it's like a time capsule of all your favorite things. Totally, totally. And I feel like too when you see times like that too, you're like, okay, like I know that there are ebbs and flows of like happiness and mental health and a lot stuff. And so like I know that some at some point like I'm going to get back to that.

Exactly. Exactly. Lauren, you are amazing. So fun to talk to. Now I'm like, I need to watch Craftopia. I'm obsessed with kind of all the projects you have going on. Where can people follow you, watch you do give me the goods? So it's Lord DIY on all the social platforms and then Craftopia is streaming on HBO Max from the States and create Canada in Canada and then the podcast is called

Wild Soul 9. I love it so much. Thank you for coming to Hal Lauren and we'll talk to you guys later. Bye. Awesome. Thanks for having me. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.