Berner Phone - Lev Fer: The Primitive Brain & Boyfriend Dick

Episode Date: February 19, 2020

Get ready for the most epic game of heaven or hell ever!!! Hannah is worried if Lev is okay, he talks a little too much about anal, hooking up with bisexuals, celebrity conspiracy theories, dating funny people, creepy neighbors, Lev’s body image, how he takes dick pics, hooking up with a virgin, and much much more. Grab tickets to one of Hannah's live comedy shows coming up in LA. SF, TX, CT, NJ, TN, NYC at hannahberner.com BELLESA  Visit bboutique.co and get 15% off your new toys and free US shipping today when you use code BERN at checkout! GLOSSIER Get 10% off your first order on Glossier.com/podcast/BERN --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning Hell What's up guys? I'm currently in Love for his apartment So if anything happens It's in the East Village If anything happens, I was here at this time This is Wednesday

And You literally started it on such a tone of Guys, I'm here, please help into my recorder, into my microphone, in my apartment while you're cuddled with my dog. Yes, it's in the East Village, ladies. Stop by. He does have exposed brick and a washer dryer. Yes.

It is a two and one. To be honest, you're doing better than I thought you're doing based on just your appearance. Oh, wow. Okay. I'd like to think I look up okay. Well, can we discuss, they say like, you know, when a friend, you know, gets bangs or like starts rock climbing, you should check on them. Oh, you're going to bring up my bangs? You've recently grown out bangs, you've long hair, you've taken up guitar, you've taken up boxing.

Is it, are you good, bro? Yeah, I'm, I like to, I, so I tell me all my podcast too is pick up some hobbies, you know. You don't have to be defensive about it. No, I'm going to be fucking defensive about her. Are you coming to my house, pet my dog, shit on my washer dryer combo? No, but listen, you know what it is? It's like, here, feel my hair, feel it. Okay, you don't have to be creepy.

Rub your hand through it. You have a nice head of hair. Exactly. So I feel ashamed cutting it Because if there's any justice in the world I'm gonna go bald in three years I mean like I've had a pretty good life And if God is fair

I should lose my fucking hair You know what I mean? So I might as well enjoy it while I can You know? Yeah you are one of those guys with good personalities That like would lose his hair And you're like damn if he had some hair I might fuck him

Yeah and I'd have to be like No but just wait Give me like Louis had that joke He was like I've never gotten sex Because of the way I look They're always like ugh And then I'm like No, but give me a second.

So you're actually, not to make your head any bigger than it already is, but you are the first second-time guest on this podcast. You've been a big part of my comedy journey. I've been on Young Daddy, honestly, maybe a little too much. Probably 27 times. Probably 27 times. So I feel like it was only right to, you know, scratch your back a little. But, you know, first of all, very honored to be a repeat guest.

But second of all, I mean, the way I do my podcast is like, If I genuinely like you, which is like eight people in the world, like you can just literally come by my house whenever and we can knock it out. You know what I mean? So that's why you're on all the fucking time. I appreciate that. You're one of my favorite people. You really are.

Why did your dimples just get hard? He's wearing a tidy tank top. Because I'm wearing no bra in winter. That's why. But I want to start this off kind of hot with a game of heaven or hell. Heaven or hell You were on in August Yeah

Do you remember what was going on mentally for you in August back then I remember showing up to your studio You showed up about an hour late It was Spotify studio So I was drinking some stupid kombucha elixir It's made from the smoke of a raspberry's ass That was your choice You could have got water

I did request it I was like can you guys make this It's not on your menu but It's not on the menu and can you muddle it Thank you We're like what I brought my own muddler

I thought I had a feeling you wouldn't know It's right here in my bag Next to the juicer But What was going on mentally? I'm looking at the episode notes This was months ago

Yeah We talked about Why you refused to go to college Your family's illegal businesses Emotional eating That one time you overdose Of marijuana How technology is ruined

I remember that we just had some really good conversations. A lot of my friends said they loved your imitation of your parents. Yeah, yeah. That's really all I got for that. Well, what's changed since then? I've gotten much closer with your dad. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, your dad text. We did have a trip to Boston together, which was a long, a long ride. And Hannah was the cutest fifth grader ever on this trip to her going to Boston. She would just, we'd be all, the whole family, me included, would be having a conversation. And she would just pass out on someone's lap and every like, like, 12. minutes she'd pop her head up and go uh yeah i also think that and then just right back to sleep

and that was it opinion sleep for nobody you got to wake up when you're something to say but yeah i am the best sleeper in the world any like moving object i will pass out yeah i sleep on the subway but when you that's just because you're homeless but when you cuddle when you when you she's not doing as well as you think folks uh join my patreon please i did request to do this When you're sleeping with a guy, though, do you like a cuddle? Do you like your own space? Because, like, I feel like you're like being that you might get hot when you sleep. I'm a very hot human.

And, like, during sex, I'm a sweater. If we're not sweating, we're not doing well. It's a full workout. Yeah. I will, like, be nice and, like, put my head on his chest or, like, let him hold me for a bit. How nice of you? But then, like, I have a position. I have a sleeping position.

I sleep like a log. I put both my hands, like, down. and I have half my... You sleep a downward dog? Yeah, and I have half my head off the bed. I don't use a pillow. Really? Yeah, I have a very, like, way about me.

But apparently I'm great to sleep with because I don't move. I think I fart sometimes, but I don't move. Wow. I mean, your farts move them. Just wakes up in the middle of a fucking hurricane. When you wake yourself up because of a fart and forgot that you're with a guy,

that's when you start questioning everything. Terror. Terror. I used to... I'll only... fart around women if it's like a girlfriend that's like it's like been a while and it's time to trap her under that blanket yeah like that's the only or what i'll do is like you know that post sex cuddle where it's so peaceful and quiet i'll be like wait did you hear that and they go what

and i just fucking let what out but that's it that's the only time like a guy either really likes me or really hates me no it's really likes i think they really like you and they're showing off their farts but my awkward thing is like i can keep up and that's when it gets awkward that's hilarious like i'll fucking keep up i have digestion problems and i eat a lot if i if i like did that move on you and did that fart and then you just fired right back i think i'd get up and go which is that is that is probably the biggest double standard 90% of my jokes are about me trying to hold in farce or farting on yeah well you're a gassy hoe i am gassy because i don't burp yeah i never burp either i can't burp I think burps are disgusting.

Yeah. It's actually, if I'm on a date with a girl and she lets out a burp, immediate deal breaker for me. If she's like, just owns it, no, I'm out. That's just not how I was raised. But if she farted and owned it, you'd be like, yeah. If she should herself, I'm in. But, no, like, I just, if she, I don't know. I've never been farted on, I don't think, by a lady.

So I don't know how I were treated. Also, for some reason, during, like, when I masturbate, I fart. Why? I'm just like letting Like it's not like constantly I'm trying to masturbate and I just I'm in quefeing occasionally But it's more like

A quefe totally excusable I feel like when I'm trying to orgasm I'm like There's a lot of feelings You're like pushing in certain ways Yeah It's like when you have a baby And you shit yourself It's the same thing

So if a guy's going down on you You're fucking farting the entire time No I farted on one dude When he went down on me British Dave and he couldn't get a boner for like a month Yeah But like he's still He lost temporary vision

For like three weeks it was thank God it was just like kind of a little cute one but still he was like he he tapped out yeah it was like the moment we weren't even hooking up well because the closer you are to a fart it's like the it gets so exponentially worse yeah it gets realer yeah you're just like oh that shit came out of your asshole yeah yeah but um things are going well for me i had a big uh anal session the other night really yeah four guys one hole four guys and just me

no but how do you approach the taba gavano when you're having random sex you look at her and you go hello madame I've noticed we're having penetrative sex and I was wondering

if you're such a glutton so you're in her vagina this is not enough can I have the other hole too it's not about not enough it's just like okay so the last Do you like it or do you just like telling me about it on podcast?

I've never done it and I just make this up for you. No, I do like anal in that the thought of it and like the case, like for example, this girl, right, she's bent over. I'm having sex with a vagina. You know, I got my makeup on. I mean, you're having sex with her too. Yeah. No, just her vagina. It's not treat her like an object.

Yeah. So anyways, I'm banging this object the other day. But, you know, I also noticed that if I've been. drinking i'm a little more likely to and we you know the more comfortable you are with somebody the more times you've had sex then you know thumb on the asshole you spit on her ass while you're spanking her you start getting dirty start getting nasty thumb in you know you see how she takes that and here's here's the big moment of truth is your dick's inside of her her puss your thumbs in her ass and you say through the silence i really want to put my dick in your ass and you wait yeah you can hear mice in the

neighbor's apartment in this moment i mean it's so quiet and you just if she just i love the consent happening here continue oh of course yeah so um and then you and then usually they'll just kind of give you like a uh-huh like that's yeah because if you're like hell yeah then you feel slutty well if you're like hell yeah that it just takes the fun out of it yeah you don't feel like this is this bad like mysterious place you're going yeah whatever then you're like you want it to feel like oh we shouldn't but yeah exactly and then uh you grab a bunch of lube lub up her asshole i got i keep a giant how do you lube the asshole they keep a giant you put your finger in it um no i see that big purple bottle of lube on the it's not that big

come down but no you just put that on your fingers just put it over the asshole while you know there's still a dick inside you it's like multitasking you don't have to and then loop up your dick and then you know slow and steady but here's the problem is it's actually a lot harder to come during anal so this went for like fifth because a vagina is tight all the way through it's like tight muscle all the way through to the end you know i mean and asshole is like that friend that you have that on the surface they seem like they're fucking killing it like they're dressed and you spend real time with them and you're like once you get in their apartment you're like there's shit everywhere and there's uh there's no furniture there's no tightness there's nothing for me to rub against

But if they have a poop inside them, maybe that adds some pressure. Maybe, but I don't think that's the kind of pressure you want. I think that's like... I never know what you're into. I'm just thinking about myself, I'm like, honey, if I had a fart coming while you were going, the air tightness. Forms a vacuum seal. A vacuum seal. Your dick is never getting out. If I was in your ass and you let out a hand a burger fart, I think I would literally look at my dick and just go, you could just keep that.

You can just keep that. You can just keep my dick. I don't need that. I can just keep that. Keep that in you. I just break it off. I want to be successful enough that guys are like, can you please fart on me? That'll never happen.

And they pay me. That'll never happen. What are you talking about? Also, I've already had DMs about it. You could do that for $20 as a street hooker. Like, that's not a sign of success.

I'm trying to do it for 200. I have standards. I have standards. So how long was this? Was this anal session? It was a while. Like, it got to the point where I... Poor girl.

I don't have like a huge dick. I have a girl told me my dick was a perfect size for anal one. So it's like... So it's like... tiny yeah take what you will you can actually see it on my Instagram you're probably having way more fun yeah that's graphic um but it is

more fun when you don't have a massive cock I hope so I mean it is more fun I think though if I had a here's the thing if I think if I had a massive dick it'd be way more fun for me because I would just even when I'm home alone just great girls vaginas no I wouldn't even care about girls anymore I'd just be like I got this big

ass dick like you swing my big dick this way swing my big dick that way I'd play it like a guitar I would just fucking be hammering away out of it all day. Yeah, but that's like, that's fun for two days and then you want some love and affection. Yeah, I have, I have boyfriend dick, you know, it's like, I, there's definitely been one girl who I had sex with where I could feel a full ring of air around my dick on thrusts. I was just not filling this woman up. So, see, do you, I don't think, I think the rumor of like having too much sex, that does not make you loose. No, I don't think so.

I think it's just your body. I also have noticed that the vagina fluctuates in. size within certain sexual sessions. It's probably due to like ovulation and shit. Maybe. Like at one point your body's like, let him in. What dead is? Let him in.

No, because this one girl I'm hooking up with, sometimes like I can get three fingers into her and just fucking get into her G spot hard and she's like super into that. And sometimes, you know, I can put one or two in and it feels more than tight. Like it, you know, it alternates. How many girls are you hooking up with right now? Right now. I think I got two all-star players, two main, and then two alternates. Okay.

Yeah. Is it exhausting to be managing the team? No, because, you know what it is? It's like being, you ever see those like rotisserie chickens where they cook them where they have like four like skewers? You're just constantly moving and spinning them. I guess you're right because that one girl from the other night is going to be shitting herself for three weeks. You got to put her on the bench. Yeah, sweetheart.

No, I want to see her again. She actually posted an Instagram story of her having a glass of wide with another person. I could see it wasn't. I mean, he was like, I miss her. Like the male possessive brain. If you ever want a guy, if you're a girl out there and you ever want a guy to want you, just make him think you're fucking somebody else. Just pour a glass of wine and be like, date night. Yeah, just take two glasses.

Yeah, just take two glasses and don't even write date night. By yourself and just post that with a view somewhere. He's going to fucking text you. Forget thirst traps. Just put two glasses of wine. Yeah. That's all you need to do. Because for men...

But also, this is temporary, ladies. It's not to meet your person, but it is fun for mind games. Yeah. It is like an emotional thirst trap because the male brain is very territorial and very possessive. And it's, it's, I don't want this to sound like I'm glorifying it, but the primitive dumb male brain is very like, it looks at women that we're having sex with as, like, property. It's like, she belongs to me. She's with me. I can show.

her off like that's the most basic instinctual level of it obviously that's not like what we try to put out in the world but yeah a lot of behavior and men and women comes down to that kind of primitive like and my primitive brain is like i want a man that makes me feel safe so if i see a dude who's like acting sketchy with other girls my innate reaction is not oh i'm jealous i want to get him it's fine leave because i need a safety man yeah yeah you're you're you're scaring me yeah your your brain is looking for like okay if i biologically if i had a kid if i had a baby me yeah like would he be able to protect us be trying to do anal with like whoever's outside on the street but i will say like this is the first time of my life that i've ever been happily single whereas like i mean it's early on for you it took me until this year to be happily yeah yeah because usually and i think probably the the biggest thing the last time i did your podcast mentally yeah was i probably just really wanted to or i think i was in a relationship or yeah you were in a relationship oh yeah you were in a relationship but you weren't sure about it then you lost it and had this kind of in my opinion fake territorial like i i don't have her anymore and i want her and then you guys tried again and i don't i think the

same stuff happened i always like to think if it's meant to be it'll be but also that like if it didn't work out there's kind of a reason and you should just don't convince yourself that you did anything wrong it's like or that you didn't you took her for granted if the right person's there you won't do anything wrong and you won't take it for granted well i here's the one thing though like about don't take it for granted in that like or the more so i have a problem with that you didn't do anything wrong because i think in relationships it is like what i do is this is what i found is during the relationship i'll go like when i'm ready to break up like she does this wrong did you just fart it was a fart sneeze i'll be like she does this wrong and she does that wrong and that's

why this relationship won't work and and then afterwards once we're broken up i'll look at everything i did And I'll go, this is what I did wrong. I need to work on that. I need to stop doing this. Like, I need to stop being fucking petty. Yeah. Then I'll take my own notes because hopefully by the time I go into the next relationship, I'll be a little more evolved. I mean, you can definitely do things wrong, but I think with the right person, you're working on shit together.

Yeah. And they're not going to not message you back because you, like, had a petty night. Yeah, yeah. Because they see the big picture. I agree completely. I want to start our heaven or hell game that I started half an hour going to get sidetracked by our audio porn. I hope someone's turned on. listening um so this game of heaven or hell what do i have oh we're starting hot doing stand-up

for the rest of your life but you're never able to podcast play guitar or box yeah i would do stand-up yeah i had a hot set last night who'd you where was it where was it uh this bar in the low east side you're going hot it was a good show yeah i have you know the thing about stand-up that that it gives me is just when i have like i have this new joke about this gay fan that messaged me And I get so excited to go on stage and tell it Because it just really, really cracks me up And I also, like here's the thing about guitar and boxing and comedy The thing that they all have in common is you don't just

There doesn't just come a day where you're like, I'm good Like I figured it out. I know how to do this. It constantly, the further you get into it, the further the goal gets. Yeah, they say as you get better, You have to work that much harder to get a tiny bit better. In the beginning, you improve easily. Yeah, you get those noob gains.

It's like when you start working out for the first time. Yep. Like the first two months you work out, you're going to see noticeable changes in your body. Yeah. And it's because like your body, it's so new. But the longer you keep doing it, you know, that's why these fucking steroid heads are like going for 38 years to get one more vein in their fucking testicle, you know. You guys stop with the steroids. Yeah.

Get some proportions. But yeah, I would just stand up as, I feel like I, genuinely, I feel like I owe my life to comedy. Because as a kid, that was the one. thing that kept me sane and kept me feeling safe and okay was because I was a very anxious brain very high strong brain constant tension a lot of fear so to me if I would put on a comedy special that was an hour where I had none of that I would just sit there in awe and have fun and like laugh like there's no truly no greater feeling I think in the world than that sense of we're all okay and we're all laughing together with people that you love love that's so cute thank you do you find that like

because you kind of have like a resting bitch face and you're kind of hot that like people assume that you just like don't have issues um no because i i think if you talk to me for five minutes because then you open your mouth yeah yeah like i don't hide who i am i don't like i'm very honest with people i would think any person i've ever dated would tell you that just be like oh yeah first date he told me that like i just go for it you know i try to always be very real and genuine so you said something funny to me when we were hanging the other night that sometimes you feel more comfortable like admitting stuff to a full audience of like 100 people yeah as opposed to like one person yeah a coffee shop yeah well because when you're on stage doing stand like I can say like

really weird inner thoughts or like things that I probably wouldn't tell friends of mine and the reason I think you can do it is because I don't want to sound like a gigantic douche but your brain kind of knows that okay once I get off stage if somebody asked me hey what you mean by that thing you don't really have to answer it because you're up there you're kind of doing art you know so what was the last weird thought you had on stage i'm talking a lot about matching with trans women right now on uh on dating apps that's like a lot of new stuff i'm working on which is you know we're having fun we're i love that for you i mean i'm not banging any of them but there's i like exploring that that area of i think almost every guy i know would and yet because of masculinity and because of our

our own insecurities we're like i don't know like you know what i actually is a fascinating thing to face because like yeah and i think it's important to talk about that kind of shit because it's like there's not because it's real yeah it's real and i don't think and i think it's also very inclusive to people that are marginalized to be like yeah let's talk about the elephant in the room like i have a friend that thinks that if he bangs you he's going to be less of a man like we should talk about that you know because maybe that'll help maybe that'll i really do think we're four years away from every guy friend I know being like yeah totally like do i had in finance on my podcast and there's like honestly this whole underground world of i put this in print in quotations but

straight guys yeah who are fucking other guys on the d l there's a huge community of it and it's fascinating to me because us girls are like so oblivious to it or so but like brand this i've already called it it's not surfing it's something where like you just go out at night and like walk around the streets and when you make eye contact with a certain guy you guys just like fuck around the corner i've had people try to do that to me before like that shot me a look before i'm like what the fuck was that like four in the morning you're like why do i have a boner yeah i'm gonna go jerk off behind those dumpsters like no like i've definitely but i you know the interesting thing though is i've most women that i've talked to and i do believe it's this really weird uh kind of like

thing in women's brains straight women's brains where i think the majority of them would never date a guy who is also by like who fucks men and it's like we're all in agreement that yeah to fuck wherever you want we i don't care i'm not going to judge you guys will date girls who are by definitely it's actually a bonus yeah it's a plus because in our head we immediately go we can probably bring a girl in like that every time a guy says dude she's bye that's like an exciting thing but i i i most women i've asked have told me i would never date a guy and i i don't know exactly what the reason is but it's something in your body clearly it is that like i want to be with that 100% masculine protective man maybe yeah but i'm kind of like over this

whole we've all been taught from like disney movies that like we have to get the most masculine man who has like the most power and the most money baby welcome aboard sugar you're at the log island express how you're doing huh you came to visit big papa tony huh you guys again i'm at Lev Fur's apartment. What do you want a Coke or a Diet Coke? How are you feeling today, huh? We get fucking naughty. You're going to end up drinking my Diet Coke.

I have a feeling. No, no. But yet, I'm, I've always been trained to like, like, the loudest guy in the room or, like, the strongest guy in the room and, like, or the most famous guy in the room. And it's like, it's so bad for me. It's so bad for me. Yeah. It's just more about finding the rape.

If they happen to be the loudest guy in the room. But why do you think that's bad for you? I think it's bad for me because I, I like attention. I need to have a voice. I come from a family with, like, strong women. And I'm a lot of these guys who are narcissistic want like a trophy girl. And I love feeling, like, seen and being, and my ego feels good being with a successful

dude. But then, like, behind closed doors, sometimes I feel like I won't feel emotionally fulfilled. Yeah. Well, that's because some of these guys are, like, so insecure. And that's why they're in. entertainment or sports or stuff like that well almost everybody in here's the thing most like very successful people or people who like really have a talent are psychotic in a sense and like have like i don't know a lot of well-balanced uh people at the top of any game i mean that's why i started

this podcast because i started to realize every famous person is a nightmare yeah it's where you because it takes a certain level of insanity yeah to go people should hear my thoughts it really As a person who does a podcast twice a week, it takes a certain level. That was my hardest. I was like, do people actually want to hear me talk for 10 minutes? 10 minutes to me was like absurd. But here's the problem is if you have that in you, if you are that person who is like, I should be heard. Yeah.

Like here's the thing. People like us, this is so gross. And nobody admits it. But we're like, if we're not on TV, we're like, I should be on TV. We're like, why the fuck am I not on TV? We think it's easier to find reasons. I'm also getting more annoying with my normal. friends like i'll walk with my normal friends and i'll just be killing but i realize like no one's

talked in five minutes except for me yeah and like i don't think it's just sometimes i'm like oh that was say that for the stage yeah you know like people don't need that i never feel that i i always go for the joke at all times i just i can't even help it but i think sometimes as a woman it's everyone's like okay like we get it you're funny they're like she kept fighting over there and i don't want to say nothing the best part about being girl though and farting is like i farted in so many situations where people are like there's no way that came out of a girl

and I'm just standing there and like all the dudes are blaming each other I'm like that is sick which one of you dudes oh you guys are disgusting that's funny and then someone's like oh my god Hannah it's like following you I'm like ill how is it following me the shit that I've done to get away with the heart came out of your ass

but no but people literally are like there's no possible way but you know it's tough for you is uh because you have that in you. Here's the thing about your models is that it's tough for

she's the relatable one on her show. They were like we cast the hot girl the party hot girl the fun hot girl the relatable now here's the one

you'll like that's literally when I like I've had friends be like oh I watch Summer House I'm like oh I'm friends with Hannah

and they're like she's the one I like you know how to look good You don't have to take a hot photo. I'm just joking with you. But, you know, maybe if I wasn't so confident in my ass, I wouldn't. You do have a huge ass.

Thank you. So, like, I like to play the lines of, like, yeah, my ass, how nice is my ass? Can I fart? Can I not shave it? And you'll still fuck me. Like, I like to see how far I can push it. You're using it all wrong. Like, I don't know if anybody told you, but usually what people do when they have an ass is they get 8 million followers on Instagram and they show it in bikinis.

you're like, can I shit in public? Is my ass that good? I have no ass photos on Instagram. Yeah, you're literally doing all of the wrong things you're supposed to be doing. My PR company's like, hey, I think you're, you're marketing this the wrong way. Yeah, you have like a gigantic supply of like the freshest spring water on earth. You're like, we should make milk. How much, like, you're just so going up the wrong thing.

But what's going to be tough for you dating is because you're a person who wants attention and you want to get the jokes. Yeah. and the thing is most men strive to be that it's a masculine quality to be funny yeah and but you're gonna get bored of a quiet guy who's gonna let you have the punchlines yet you're gonna hate a guy who takes all the punchlines yep which is like so you're fuck you're truly gonna be single forever literally i've dealt with i've dealt with so much of the spectrum i've dated mute men yeah i've dated the loudest guy ever the opposite of mute man is just men

but I think it's someone also who I just can feel quiet around like I don't want to be loud all the time I'm actually I like to be quiet and just have like thoughtful conversations why are you struggling my knee oh sorry I didn't know I actually thought it yeah speaking of we're still like can I just say really like so my that relationship that I was in we that we got such amazing chemistry like we would be able to just sit and talk for 12 hours and have a great just be laughing the

whole time yeah and the reason was because she would just say something like a setup I would jump into a fucking character off the bat start firing off jokes she'd be laughing and now I'm glad I'm making her laugh and then but she had this energy of okay now I'm going to tag your joke yeah and she'd hop in you got to be able to tag yeah it's all it's all I think erika sparrow told me she was like dating is all improv and like we'd just be able to riff so well together and she didn't want the final punchline all she cared about was like how great can we make this riff like how funny can we make it yeah i mean honestly i feel like me and you are good yeah because honestly i don't need to have the punchline i just want a guy to feel like under he understands my humor and he listens when i like

i would do tag sometimes and the guy just would either wouldn't get it or hear it and i'd be like why is the world such a lonely place yeah yeah just go in a dark place and then you're like i'm so not funny yeah what are these other girls that i'm um sleeping with right now though she's like phenomenal looking girl great girl but she wants to have the punchline and what that does is like a lot of times she'll step over my joke or my punchline with her own slightly worse joke and it's just deflating i'm like yeah like she's like why aren't you laughing i'm like i had a better thing but like that but that's the problem with dating a comedian yeah as a comic when i've dated in the past i had a comic critique like how my stories were and

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I shit on her stories all the time. And I was like, her story's never a punchline. I'm like, yeah, because I wasn't telling a joke with it. It was just like an entertaining story. But the way that comedians think and like Seinfeld said this once where he like, if it's not getting to a punchline, there's no point of me hearing it. Like really like what's the point?

But it did train me by the end of the relationship. I fucking knew how to get to a punchline. I will say every single girl I date by the end of the relationship, they get a lot funnier. Their timing gets better. They get quicker. Well, it's like languages, even like how a person speaks a certain way. If you have empathy, you'll start kind of speaking similar to them to have that usually connecting experience.

And I mean, not everyone I think would actually get a lot funnier. But if they're the right kind of person, there's potential. Yeah. So you train them, you get them funny. Then they get a bit, they have a great personality and a great body. And they're like, why am I fucking this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm out of his league everywhere.

Somebody's got a bit where they're like, you're just the guy you're dating. right now you're just training him for his next relationship yeah like i did all that work you you think he was tucking his bed in before i met him somebody's got a bit like that's funny um our next heaven or hell just doing anal for the rest of your life or that's it's it's it heaven or is it hell that would be hell yeah like anal it takes longer to finish it's uh and you can't really just go back because that's bad bacteria right yeah you can't do that occasionally you have a slip up and you both kind of have that moment where you're like oops you both pray to your god and then you get back to work you know i don't even know what happens i'm such a gentleman though after

sex of like you should pee like oh my god that's so nice but my problem with being during sex you should pee on my face right i'm such a gentleman yeah right before sex i pee because i have like i just want to feel all empty yeah yeah yeah take huge shit and then i have sex no wipe the last like what three minutes let's be honest here and then it's the last like what three minutes let's be honest here and then it's like I don't have to pee Yeah And then I sit there And then if you sit there too long

He thinks you're shitting And I'm like okay So I come back I'm like I didn't pee And he doesn't care The next you know You know You need cranberry juice

Oh yeah Because of the UTI Yeah so just Here's the thing You can hold your pee a lot longer Than you think you can Yeah but I don't want to be fucking And thinking about not farting

And not peeing on him It's too much But you're the thought is gonna go away While you're fucking You're not gonna be thinking about peeing You're like When I felt girls they don't think about P.

Yeah, they're thinking about calling their dad. What went wrong? Jack, you just told me you love me once. It's getting real dark here. Yeah. Heaven or hell living in L.A. That's actually a tough one. Because I think as anybody in show business,

a part of us is always like, once I get to L.A., everything will be sunny and great. And then I think I would raise my kids in L.A. Ew. Sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud. Wow. but the thing I love so much about New York City is just like especially where I live truly you can walk fucking anywhere yeah that is such a privilege and you just being on your feet and feeling like you're a part of something and you feel the pulse like that I feel very anxious when I'm very alone and away from things yeah same like I never I'm not at the age yet where I can understand like living in a big house in the hills and enjoying that because the entire time all I'd be thinking about is like what if somebody broke in here like I'm all alone oh I don't fuck with houses I want a small house yeah like I don't like I'm then the ghosts start having parties

upstairs yeah and next thing you know animals are breaking in yeah I don't like um I don't like that feeling of like I'm alone in this place that's what makes me anxious single entrance yeah that's my that's my thing it's like because as a kid that was my biggest fear I had intense intense anxiety about a neighbor trying to break into my house well imagine growing up in 9-11 I always thought terrorists were like going to come at any second really growing up in new york city because that's what we saw 10 years old you're like this is what life is yeah people can bomb and kill all your friends parents yeah it violates your sense of safety and like and uh security yeah it's like going to frat party in college that's a good joke at it

when you were talking about the different entrances i'm like there's something there yeah you're like i tie that to anal and then boom one two three comedy and that's how you make a joke but i love the like I would love to have like a nice apartment where, you know, you, you, you, I think being bicostal means you're successful. Yeah, I agree. That's ultimately the big goal. But I think even if I lived in LA, I would, I think I'd live in an apartment. Yeah. Just that idea of like, I don't know, something about houses, like being alone and being the head motherfucker in a house. Right? Like I, and if I did have a house, though, I would definitely have guns for sure. You'd, oh my God. I just imagined you in like a Russian, like, there's just animal heads. You have no idea

The childhood home I grew up in Like almost every drawer of the house If there would be like a Either a switchblade like an illegal fucking Did anyone ever break in? I don't think so I don't think anybody ever But I had this really

Every because they fucking knew Every person has a creepy fucking neighbor In their life or somebody who like scares their shit out of you when you're a kid That's the suburb Yeah that's the fucking suburbs In New York City everyone's scary and we're all just like equal yeah in the suburbs there's like i don't know is have anyone seen

that guy jeff recently no there was a guy in my neighbor when i was a kid was like you should come in and get candy in my house like i have left over can i was like that's tempting but like like you couldn't even mix it up this is exactly what they say in school and i was a fat kid so he was he was bold he was like this shit will work he's like i don't he could go through a billion class of this i got fucking fruit roll-ups on that bitch but that scared the show him he was a scary fucking guy and he was like fucking six foot eight like military sergeant like is he single yeah probably but i think you're too old for him no i think l.a and new york city are both amazing cities and there's something intriguing about l.a like i love talking shit about it but i'm also like

because it's a hub of creativity but um i like raising my kids i want to raise my kids in new york city but that's just because it's what i know yeah no new york is is i also your girls will have lip injections at 12. Well, New York is scary because I know girls who have grown up here. I really don't worry about where I raise my sons. I worry about where I'd raise my daughters. Valid. Because, like, I just, I think my sons will just kind of learn

to be like, yeah, you know, while I'll get through this. I'd argue there's more police everywhere in New York City. Yeah. Like, I'm way more scared in a small town. But here's what I'm scared of. If I was raising a daughter here, like, I have friends who grew up in, like, Greenwich Village and, like, meatpacking district and all these cool neighborhoods in New York. But at the time they were 14,

like, they were getting into nightclubs. and like yeah doing acid yeah like doing crazy shit at fucking 14 years old and like hanging out with grown creepy men yeah you mature at like eight yeah like because you're on the subway with homeless people and you have to understand what the fuck that like life is hard yeah when you're like a seven year old girl in erick city you're on the trades smoking a cigarette you're like I think I just got my period like it's a different thing but it also teaches your kids life is hard and it's shitty and you have to in your math test and you're like I think I'm gonna murder her and bring it to the point you're We still know that guy, right? Where's your guy? Can you get some of your tax? I got to take care of it. Everyone has a guy in New York City. Yeah.

Heaven or hell dating a girl with butt injections. Ooh, here's the thing. If I showed you my hinge bio, it literally, it says two things. One, it just says, fuck these prompts. And I just kind of write who I am. And then the second thing says... You're so like, I don't play by the rules. Yeah, I just can't.

And then the second thing says, uh, I'm looking for a beautiful, goofy trophy wife with a big old booty. You sound like one of those creepy, like, foreign princes that slide into my DMs. I'm looking for a nice wife with the curves, and she told me I'm funny. You what? You don't like Dubai? What is this voice we're doing? I don't know.

I'm the same way, though, with, like, rebellion. Like, someone messaged me about an event that I wasn't getting paid for. That sounds, but it was just, I was kind of doing a favor. They wrote in bold letters. Please arrive no later than 5.45 p.m. And I'm like, well, now I have to get there. Yeah, yeah. Because there's a certain defiance streak of like, I can't take orders from anybody.

Yeah. I can't have people who I think are less funny than me telling me how to be funny. Yeah. I can't, like, little shit like that, I just can't do it. Like my roommate, for example, he was just telling me yesterday. He's like, he's one of my best friends. He's like, he has a fuck. He goes, I'm so excited.

I have tomorrow completely mapped out. I have my clothes laid out for tomorrow. I can't wait. And I immediately got anxiety here. like that sounds like the worst yeah that's my worst fear is like my whole life is accounted for like i wake up at one yeah i fucking you know sometimes i'll wake up at one and i'll go i don't have anything to afford that was my anxiety with college sports imagine freshman year they put a calendar in front of you yeah every single day is lined up with where you have to be how every weekend is

already traveled and i'm just like fuck there's my year i think all my dreams at night would be about those things i love the night time and i think it's because during the day you things like you have to do but the second it's night time anything goes yeah and um then i make fart jokes yeah i need to but that's thing i need to feel like unrestricted and i need to feel because i think a lot of creativity comes from that comes from i'm just i was sitting around here and i just had this this thought that's what i say when people are like why is your apartment look like the hangover and i'm like because i'm a creative yeah you're like that's that's that's him that's him that's literally him i have this new thing where i take photos of like really

fucked up graffiti that just look insane of all these people that like did graffiti over the graffiti I'm like this is inside my brain yeah yeah because it is Doug stand up at a line where he's like the minute your head hits the pillow it's like here comes the carnival it's a scary carnival yeah you just hear that music pop pop pop pop it just starting off um I know that you love sushi heaven or hell you can eat anything you want and not gain weight except you can't ever eat sushi you know what i would take that deal i would take that deal because i love crunchy spicy salmon yeah but as a per as a fat fuck you know my mr fat fuck yeah some respect for yourself monsio fat fuck no like i'm mentally i'm obese like mentally i'm just a fat piece of shit but you like

you fucking feel yourself sometimes yeah no i think i look good like i think i look good i feel fun. I box. But you know it anytime you could lose it? It's not that anytime. It's just every day I'm like fuck if I like can I lose another three pounds honestly I feel like if you had the body of a like gladiator you'd be so obnoxious. Probably yeah. The world doesn't

need that. Yeah I don't think it'd be good but also I think your comedies would be less funny too if you were like fucking chiseled yeah okay. Yeah because I there's a certain thing of like when somebody's too good looking and then they're like now listen to me it's like shut the fuck up what could you have to say? Well if they The reason why there's literally zero comics

Who have always been good looking their whole life Is because those people are never told When they're funny or not And that's how you learn to be funny Is like your friends being like shut the fuck up That bombed Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you're good looking, people laugh

At everything you say Whenever I like see models Or like those hot dudes, The shit they get away with saying to people Yeah Is just absurd to me. Well, because they're just excited To be around hot, beautiful people.

People like being around gorgeous people The shit, this guy I'm seeing with gets away with you have no idea. If I'm on a date with like a chick that's that hot, like a model or something, I'm not going to give her fake laughs, but I will give her a lot of smiles. But also those people are psychotic because they don't understand like the value of things. And then a lot of them tend to be deeply insecure because they feel like they never actually earned things. And some of those people are the hardest to date because they're like, I'm using attention from everybody. Yeah, the most gorgeous girl, like genuinely gorgeous girl that I've ever. been with that I was dating for like a minute yeah was the most insecure girl I'd ever met

like physically insecure and like crazy yeah I'm like you she's she's always just been told she's gorgeous and she doesn't understand the like why or how yeah um and she also would if you're a lot of times they think that's their only thing they can offer and unfortunately for this girl it was like she I mean I've never had more boring conversation my life like genuinely had no answers to fucking anything but she was so unbelievably gorgeous that I was like I'd have two kids with her like I would because she's so fine and hopefully the kids take my brain and and you know but literally and she took off her shirt for me the first time she's like I can't I was like why she's like I have discoloring on my back I'm really and she had just a completely clear perfect

golden brown back like and I was like why that's the moment I kind of realized like oh something's wrong like something's off that's so funny yeah she's like I have one pimple can you find it it's terrible yeah nope can't find it like i'll fucking eat your ass she was like genuinely gorgeous but the most insecure she would wear wigs and shit like yeah i was seeing this model whatever and he's he actually says something very self-aware he's like the girls i date are so fucking stupid yeah like they're so dumb but they probably think i'm dumb too so whatever and i was like wow that's the most self-worthy you like clap for him you're Like, that was so good.

Good job, buddy. And this goes back to, I think he loves talking to me. We're not having sex, but it's like he's having sex with every girl. Yeah. And then he just calls me to like emotionally stimulate him a little. Well, you've told me about this guy and, uh, you know how I feel. I have very strong feelings about. I mean, I feel like I deserve to have a guy who I emotionally and physically stimulate, like.

Yeah, I agree, you know, you shouldn't just be the, the guy or the, you should just be the that you want to be. No, you shouldn't be the girl to a guy who he just uses you for emotional purpose and then he goes and he gets turned on with the conversation, then he goes, fucks other chicks. I get turned on when a guy wants to hang and like cares about me.

He's been giving that to me and I'm like, the orgasms even, like they feel good for like five seconds. Oh, they matter. Don't even, don't even, this thing is you start tricking yourself. Yeah. I'm like, he's probably terrible a bed. Do I need water?

What? Since what? Yeah, you told, if you don't have good. Even necessary. If you don't have good sex with somebody, you'll never last with them in a relationship. It'll never work. But sometimes you don't have too good sex because then you forget if you're actually in a healthy relationship. They're just like reading the newspaper. Your son walks up.

Dad, can I go fishing? Ask your whore of a mother. She loves to get choked. I recently posted this BDM joke. BDSM. Sorry, BDSM joke on my Instagram. It basically says, like, I don't want to do BDSM because if I. don't like it. It's terrible night. If I do like it,

then I have to put a dungeon in my New York City apartment. And someone commented, oh, it never fucking ends. Somebody commented. We actually have eco-friendly dungeons on 34th Street and 37. They said, choking is BDSM. And you talk about that all the time. We need to stop portraying acts that are BDSM,

choking, spaking, domination as mainstream. Because too many girls think they have to do that shit. And too many boys think all the girls they like it so they don't see consent. What? Can I just say? if you ever go comment shit or you're one of these people that uses the sentence we need to you need to kill yourself okay when I first read it just too much I thought she was saying that like don't make BDM seem so scary it's actually like you stop saying BDM it sounds like a European car that went out of business BDSM so scary and then it turned into her being like stop making it mainstream because men are just going to do that to women and I'm like whoa also there's nothing person sounds insane yeah and there's nothing more um being able to be like hey sorry can you tell that was a joke than me being on stage of the microphone at a stand-up show yeah yeah it's not like

even like a tweet that they might have thought well yeah well what's the other thing too is sometimes at a comedy show you realize like there's certain people in the audience who one have never been to a comedy show and two they don't belong in one they think it's a town hall meeting yeah like here's the thing almost 90% of the things i say you should be able to go he's probably fucking around like you know what i mean like if i go hey if you do that kill yourself like i'm fucking joking don't kill yourself wink wink But like But some you should Yeah

No I don't care But just work on your personality For the love of God You know Yeah and also having a sense of humor Can actually solve a lot of problems That's all it is It's coping

That's why Comedy let me feel safe as a kid Also I love that you're starting To bring up topics That do make you uncomfortable Like for example BDSM It's something that made me uncomfortable And as I'm talking about it

I'm starting to people DM me And they're like You should totally start off With just a little hair pulling I think life is fascinating And comedy is a good way to start a conversation That you don't want to sit your fucking dad down And be like, so have you ever spanked mom?

Yeah I'm laughing because you know my dad Yeah, your dad definitely is spanking your mom's request Anyway They're gonna listen to this Of course they are heaven or hell Getting free liposuction But you have to do a post on Instagram

What are you trying to say? You're fat You fucking twat if someone said we'll give you free liposuction but you have to do a swipe up on now on Instagram would you do it no I'm not getting no fucking liposuction Kanye's like the last guy that did that oh he did that yeah Kanye got lipo because he was getting bullied online when he literally said that it already he was like y'all made me get liposuction because you made me feel insecure on the internet and I had to put it on my butt like my wife does yeah

I got butt injections here's the thing about Kanye everybody wants to go like is he a genius Or is he an idiot? Yeah. And it's so clearly both. It's just mental health issues. No, but he's both. He's a genius and a fucking moron at the same time. When people have mental health problems, they'll do amazing things sometimes, but they're not sane.

Yeah. That's how it's supposed to be. Listen, this is what I'm trying to write a new bit about this, about like, all the greatest people and greatest artists all have murdered someone. Like, they've all done something horrible. Well, it's even like rich people. Rich people don't get rich by not doing something serious. You know that kind of money your friend has where you're like, that's not. legal money yeah yeah yeah people are in the hudson because of your grandpa yeah it's like that but also like

any great athlete any great fucking artist any great performer if they're truly great godga murdered someone yeah they say she there was this girl that inspired her yeah kind of copied her music and then she pushed her off a cliff oh really honestly look at twitter you know it's so funny it was kately jenner ran somebody over like like destroyed someone with her car and no one talks about it That's so, and the funniest joke I heard about it, it's so easy, but they were like, well, I guess she really did become a woman. She like, fucking car crash somebody. Honestly, the joke makes me laugh because I can't drive. Really?

I don't have a license. I have a learner's permit. Really? Yeah. But you're from North Carolina. It's because you came here so young. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so we're the same.

I came here on a boat. I have a license. With only $2 in my pockets. That was me. You lost your accent real quick. That's because I'm actually Jamaican, Hannah. Getting your nudes spread online, heaven or hell. I've thought about this a lot because in my...

How many nudes do you spread? In my career, I'd probably send about 28,000 dickhicks. I thought you're really 28. No, I've sent so fucking many dickpicks. Is your face ever in it? No, but if I'm on like Snapchat or something, if I'm having a Snapchat night, I'm going to probably send about 30 videos of me jerking off. And is it old videos?

Are you crazy new content? They're fresh. It's always new content? Yeah. But how much can you jerk off in a night? I'll have a long jerk off. You're young. I'll keep pumping away and then I'll wait for the dude to come in

and then I'll pump back up and, you know. Dude, what, damn. See, I do with 30-year-old men? They're not like that anymore. They're like, do you want a sex? And it's over. You missed the window. It takes you back on April.

And they're like, babe, I'm super into you. I just like, I can't do it right now. Yeah. It happens. It's a weird transition. Like 2017. to 28, you start to lose it. But why are you still talking to this guy who completely

waste your time? He keeps talking to me and I don't Don't flip it on him. Take some responsibility I never start the conversation. Yeah, but you take part of it. Yeah, I consent, but I don't start it. Because I like attention. I'm not talking to anyone else right now. Hannah, we gotta set you up. When I'm not talking to him, I'm like, out of say, out of mind. When I see him in person, I just like have such an attraction to him.

Yeah, I get it. He's a cute kid. But the last time you did my podcast. I remember I was like the most fuck I was like you gotta set me up so like I was so desperate and lonely I was like fucking yeah you're fucking posting on your Instagram yo who's who's out tonight yeah yeah I'm trying to throw a party tonight all the time every single I was like are you okay I went through like two weeks where I just kept writing are you okay and you and Corin Fisher are both like so what's going on honey if you need a talk we're here and the day I went okay you know what I'm done giving a fuck I'm gonna just pick up some hobbies and do my own shit that was when the roster started filling up dude i've done that for like a month and i my roster hasn't filled up at all but are where are you are you going on dates are you putting yourself out there yeah so what the fuck what do you expect to happen i don't know people say stop trying are you we're just going around door to door that's why people are knowing they're like when you stop trying it'll happen and i'm like i've stopped trying and like i stopped trying 12 years ago and it for some reason they had it happened but i the thing is

also like i don't feel like like guys are interested in me guys talk to me but like i'm not into them yeah because yeah that's i think that that's and i'm not just trying to have sex with dudes yeah why not like if i want to because i don't that doesn't make me feel better it makes me feel better i'm like a romantic and that like i love talking to one person and then like um imagining our lives together until he disappoints me i think that makes you sound more psychotic than romantic yeah you say that no but i get it i totally get i think I've always been somebody who's like I want to have kids young and I want to

build a family and all that shit but for the first time I'm generally like you know what I can I'm kind of enjoying just having time to myself your life to have that family and the same vagina yeah heaven or hell dating a virgin oh my god hell for sure

yeah for you're from North Carolina don't you guys love that shit? No I fucking I actually just saw some tweet yesterday some like lady on some show they're like it's revealed she's a virgin i was like all you're telling people is this person's going to be bad at sex for a while that's all you're doing you know it's like wow it's like oh no like give her through if you're a virgin three years before you come talk to me like go do your diligence do your due diligence go do the field work you know what i mean i can't have

you fucking biting my dick and shit but you just said that you don't men have a natural like what's it called you want to like the what's it called the being like territorial territorial so if you're gonna date this girl why do you want to get rammed by other guys

for three years it's because here's the thing I think it also I like that I love when guys are not like she's not allowed to hook up with anyone but I can no well I actually asked like because a girl asked me recently like what my body count was

and I really have no fucking idea but I asked her and I find that most women tell me like that their count at like 24 years old is like around six people that's like been the average yeah did you go to college and then this other girl who i'm seeing okay six is the standard lie it means i'm not a virgin i've had a couple no these girls would have no reason to lie to me like i've known them for a long time yeah and i was like surprised the one sending you those freaky news no no that's a fish that girl

was six six today um but this other girl i'm hooking up was like she's like 24 and she's like yeah I fucked 26 guys and I was like I was like Jesus you fucking whore get out of my house I'm kidding I'm just joking because my thing is like during college and like being if you're single also I hate if I had a boyfriend for five years it's like oh I'm a better person than you because I had a boyfriend but you have those you know those moments where like you kind of had sex

you did it so then you start giving guys like half numbers and the next you know you're like fuck it I'm 28 yeah yeah so it's like I don't it's just I don't know well what's your count do you know my count it gets clouded like because it's clouded probably like 40 yeah but okay because I think I'm well into a hundred somewhere yeah um but yeah when she told me like 26 I was like okay that's definitely higher than girls I that other girls tell me but I'm like look if you're clean and I don't care like I don't give a shit I think it's really also 26 is like let's say she's having sex at 18

it's like five guys a year is not that much yeah If you're single, you're dating, you're seeing a guy. I genuinely don't care. Like, as long as you're clean and healthy, I don't give a fuck. But there is a reason to care a little. I think that's how men should think about it. But there is a reason to care little as in, like, are you a sex addict? Or, like, do you need constant affirmation from sex?

Like, that's why I want to know about a dude's count, not because I'm judging him, but if it's like, whoa, this guy needs too much attention. Yeah, maybe. That's what I look at him. I am a horny motherfucker. Like, I am almost always horny. It'll be done in about three years. Yeah.

I have a very high sex drive. And that's, like, definitely a fucking thing for me. One thing that I think society fucked up about is, like, I feel my sex drive is the strongest now. Like, when we get, like, my body's like, you need to get an egg out. Yeah, yeah. Where when I was 24, I was like, I don't know what's happening. And then guys, when they're 29, they're like, I'm tired.

Yeah. We need to figure this out, Jesus or God or whoever. does these things that's funny well i wonder i'm definitely i i don't know as a man though and i think for men and women we we only get better at sex hope i think probably a few men plateau for sure but i would how do you know that if you look at my asshole closely um no i just think you know it is because i feel like once men hit 30 i think a lot of the times they'll be like all right this is what I do Yeah

You're right They have their moves Yeah this is my process It is interesting fucking guys Women need a divorce To really get great And sex Like really great

After breakup You're like Yeah But it's funny When you're having sex with men When you're older And men are like 32 You see all the skills

They've acquired Through all their girlfriends And they're like Okay interesting Or you're like Who have you been fucking That lets you know That was okay

Yeah So it's an interesting I take so much pride sexually Because like Here's the thing like I love being good at sex and like when a girl's like

I lost track at how many times I came I'm like fuck it like that to me makes me feel like yeah I am the man like it makes me feel like a man like if you're competitive you like to be good at things which you do you're be good at it I think girls it's a little different like sometimes guys don't want you telling them what to do with their dick all the time

this girl I'm hooking up with right now who like the 26 count she is by and far the best sex I've ever had And, like, I've had some good sex, and she's, like, insane. Like, I feel bad for people who have to follow her. Like, it's crazy. Wait, give us one piece of sex advice for girls listening.

Um, she gets, uh, like, she gets very excited by pleasuring another person. So, like, she'll get me super turned on, like, while she's blowing me, right? And then she'll just sit there, like, she'll be naked, just laying down in between my legs, just looking up at my dick and up at me. And then, like, watching my dick throb. and instead of going just straight on to sucking and she'll just like keep slowly teasing and maybe she won't even like touch it for you know 10 15 seconds

so it's like she has fun with it a little she has a ton of fun with it she's like fucks around she improvises she's down for anything like literally like had her head hanging off the bed last night like that porn throat fuck you know like like all that shit like you need just a team player who's like when you're like oh I want to try this she's like let's do it like that's what you want you're comfortable with someone.

And also her blowjabs kills are just insane. She just goes all the way down, tongue flicking your balls while throating you. Like, she was just born for this, you know? Just incredible, yeah. Again, I am at Lev for his apartment. If anything weird happens. Um, Lev, I have to thank you so much. This game of heaven or hell was epic.

This epic game we've ever played. Are we rapping? Yeah, where can people follow you? Well, most importantly, folks, daddy's going on tour. daddy daddy is going on fucking tour uh if you come see a fucking show i'm going to be playing a bunch of cities this year we just announced the first wave of shows um it is on the 19th of march providence road island on the 20th i'm in portland main on the 24th i'm in chicago very excited i've ever been to chicago um the next day on the march 25th i'm in tampal florida and on april 29th new

York City doing a special Young Daddy Live podcast. Super fun. I do stand-up up top, bring out special guests. You know, we do a live podcast. We bring people on stage.

So grab some fucking tickets at Levford.com slash shows. Come see a show. I hope you make it. It'll be a ton of fun. I like hanging out with people after. And my Instagram is at L-E-V-F-E-R. And I have a podcast called Young Daddy,

Y-U-N-G-D-Dady, which Hannah, my favorite girl has done. Don't say that you're going to start fights with people. A thousand times. You guys, if you haven't seen Lev for live for live, what are you doing

with your life? It's a true full body experience and while we're on it I have some live shows coming up March 4th LA March 8th, San Francisco then we got Texas coming up we got Connecticut, we got New Jersey if you haven't seen me live

I'm offended and hurt Where are you playing in LA? Dynasty typewriter Oh nice It's going to be a fun show I love you guys Thanks for coming to hell I'll talk to you later. Bye.