Berner Phone - Lindsey Metselaar: Cool Girl Weddings & Planning Problems

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

Lindsey tells me every single detail of her extremely chic Palm Beach wedding that she planned in 5 months and I tell her where I'm at in my own wedding planning process (oye). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I did a destination wedding. Yes. And so it was like a lot to ask of people. Yes. Wow, that was really nice of you. That's not. I lied, honestly. I just, no one could make the weekend I wanted in Miami.

I'm not that nice. I was like, I didn't see that for you. Honestly, I just twisted it to like seem like an amazing person. You probably had to plan it like immediately. Yeah, no one was pretty. There wasn't enough time. But I would have dragged everyone's ass to Miami and made them spend exactly what I spent on their fucking bachelor party. Welcome to Burning

I am in heaven I am so excited You guys love this guest I love this guest The devil loves this guest I'm Hannah Burner And I'm sitting with Lindsay Metzilar She is the queen behind

We Meta Acme She also has Is it don't expect salads Don't expect Don't expect Don't expect. We're obsessed with her food black. Food black. What am I talking about? I just woke up from a nap. But we're about to wake the fuck up. And this is like, we're going in depth of marriage and weddings. And I know I haven't spoken very publicly about my wedding planning. And I think I'm just going to go hard with Lindsay. So if you don't care about weddings, go fuck yourself. We're getting into it. Congrats on being a newlywed. Lindsay. Thank you. Do you feel different as a partner who's now married versus a fiance? I do a little like I feel more legit you know like I feel like people like I just I can say husband you know and it sounds like I'm bragging but like it's actually not like it's a fact you know and I just I also

feel like I get to like shut the door on like oh my God like what's going to happen with my romantic life and like focus on other areas now you know yes I do love the fact that you're like okay check I found a partner, but do you feel like you can start more fights without being worried about a breakup or you're like scared of divorce? Oh no, I will start every fight under the sun. One of my girlfriends was over once and I like made a comment to Stephen, my husband about how he he used to do this thing. Okay, tell me if this would annoy you. Where like if I have two cartons of eggs, like he'll instead of taking from the older carton of the eggs, he wants the new. That sounds just selfish to me.

It's selfish. And it's like, you have to finish the old shit before you can get to the new shit, you know? And so I was like, you did it again with it. And my friend goes, you need to pick your battles. And I go, get out of my house. Like that is, you go, you just picked your team and you can leave. Nobody picks. Like, I don't really pick battles.

I, every, like, I will have everything out because that's just, I feel like that's just like a Jewish thing that, like, I do. It's like everything needs to be discussed so it never comes up again. that is super healthy but also i do understand the point of like you can nitpick everything if you want to right were you ever in a relationship where you were scared to upset him or bring up your opinion um those were more like i wasn't in a relationship but thought i was yeah those are the situations that you're like if i don't bring up this he'll want to marry me and then you're like wait i became a mouse and this is not me i once got in a fight with Dez because he never cleans and one day he decides to clean but he just cleans

inside the fridge. I feel like the fridge is triggering for a lot of people. And he threw out my leftovers. He's like not a fan of leftovers. I will, I could eat leftovers forever. I will order something to eat it as a leftover. And I was like, you just threw away my lunch. And he was like, I was cleaning and I'm like, well, the whole place is a mess. So I don't know what cleaning means to you. and he said sorry but then fast forward I accidentally threw away his invisible line

so now he's used that against me so that's why you should pick your battles because it could be an ongoing keeping of score of who's throwing way people's shit definitely more expensive than left over a thousand percent and he was like do you remember how much

you got at me for the fridge and I was like oh you got me so anyway we're in relationships and now it's like about not tricking the guy to like you or tricking yourself that you like him it's about existing yeah in the marriage and I want to know do you keep anything like is it boring that there's no drama or do you create drama there you know what it's not that there's not drama

he's just not problematic you know so like I he's not problematic enough for me so I bring the drama if I if there is drama it's usually on my side um but he has his moments of drama he's a cancer he's a water sign like you're oh jesus and you know they're they're dramatic but if they have their home life intact they're very good but they don't they're like low cry babies does but i feel like he low he probably likes your drama like you keep it exciting for him he loves He loves the drama. Loves the drama. And you know I'm into astrology beyond.

Yes. He's like a Gemini, Venus, and like they need to be excited all the time. And that's just like, he never knows what he's going to get with me. Because excited, you could get a dopamine hit from like a good fight too. Oh, for sure. You never know what's going to get the Sarantan going. Yeah. But we don't really, we don't really have fights, unfortunately, as much as like just me being like, you know, the biggest fight that we have is when we watch a show.

show. I'm on my phone the whole time. So every couple minutes, I'm like, what just happened? And he's, he gets so mad of like having to explain every time and like rewind. At a certain point, he's like, I'm not telling you. Yeah. And I'm like, fine. That's like an old couple. We're like, I can't hear what happened. I can read the, I can't read the captions either. I love that for you guys. Are you good at recovering fast or do you let things linger? Fast recovery, fast recovery. If you're going to fail, fail fast. That's what I always say. Agreed.

I just think relationships are not about not fighting. It's about finding a good way to fight. Totally. How have your past relationships affected your current relationship? Honestly, my past relationships have done a really good job and making my current relationship seem so healthy beyond. Yeah. And it is.

And it is. But I was just telling you before we started, like I still, because, I dated such like assholes in the past, I will still have a moment where I will feel like triggered by like something at an X that I don't care about anymore did, but just the fact that I let them get away with it. Oh like you remember like an argument or something they did to you and you still feel upset about it. Yeah. That's just called PTSD. Right. Right. But is it possible to have PTSD, like, if it wasn't like, you know, because there are more serious things, like, you know, domestic violence and things like that. Like, it wasn't that, but it's like

still, it still brings up. It's like, it's like small T trauma or whatever they say in therapy. Yeah, well, think about all the little things like maybe your parents did growing up that to this day still makes you act a type of way or can trigger you. So I've had moments where you can think yourself into like actually getting re-upset about things or you see something they did and and you like feel an emotion you feel weird that you are feeling any emotion of like whether it's upset or anger but then you realize like yeah there are people in your life they're not dead even though like we're trained to be like you break up with someone they're dead yeah it's so true they're still functioning existing and your healthy relationship almost probably makes it hurt more to be like wow I can't believe I was even though you were a different person back then I was allowed to be in that situation right and it's also just like mind blowing because like You know, I talk about relationships all the time and I'm like, I cannot believe because if somebody messaged me on Instagram and they were like, Lindsay, this is what my, you know, whatever boyfriend just did. And that was like my situation that I'm thinking of right now. I would be like, hell no, bitch. Like you need to break up with this guy yesterday. I don't want to bring up cults, but I try to bring it up in every situation. It's like when you see someone got in a cult and you're like, what a fucking idiot. When it's like they didn't just join a cult. Like you didn't just do something. weak in a situation it took months of him like and not everyone's like grooming you as a narcissist but whatever situation it is it took months for you to ultimately be okay with certain things right it's

not like you one day decided to be a weak ass bitch yeah facts facts forever um you also had the most mind-blowing wedding for multiple reasons but one of them is did you have this plan before because you whipped it up in 72 hours. Literally 72 hours. It was the craziest wedding. Like, were you just waiting for the right man? And then you were like, and we're done. Honestly, I, like, in my mind, all I wanted to do was call, like, a venue when I wasn't engaged. But everyone was like, it's bad luck. Don't do it. Like, don't do it. That's hilarious. Don't do it. Don't do it. And so I didn't do it. But it just so happens that the venue that we ended up getting married at had this like one weekend open. that was in five months time.

So I was just like, fuck it, let's do it. How did he feel about that? He was like so on board. Good. He like, it was, yeah, I mean, there was not a moment where he was like, this is too fast. He was just like, I feel bad for the people who like can't come because this is tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's also he consented. He proposed to you and then you're like, okay, so now we're getting married. Right. You told me last time we hung out, I think on your podcast. to listen to her pod we met at acme so fucking good all my episodes are premium you told me that you kind of felt this pressure to come up with like the ultimate blown mind mind blowing dress how did you come up how did you do that decision making process yeah i remember we talked about dresses and you i think you told me that like the first dress you tried on in like a random store in long

island was the dress strip mall which i love yeah um i but shopping gives me serious anxiety so i was Like, I'd rather take this. 100%. I really wanted to be different with my dress. Yes. And then I was like, you know what? I'd rather a dress that looks good on my body and who cares about being different, you know? Like, who cares?

Like, this isn't like, like, your wedding isn't the time to be like man-repeller vibes. Oh my God, but you kind of feel like everyone's eyes are on you. So you want to give them the moment that they want. But then I feel like, especially with a wedding dress, It can so wear you and you can feel stupid in it. Like I have a friend who got this crazy dress and the whole time she was like, I'm sweaty, it's scratchy and it's heavy and I hate my life. And I was just like, I'm going to have a Gary Bradshaw moment just like looking at you right now.

Yeah. So you want to feel comfortable. How did, what is the dress you went with? So I ended up going with his mirrors wellinger dress and like a lot of brides wear this designer. But like I know why. And it's because like it looks really good on your body. You know? It's like it's like the sisterhood of the travel.

dress vibes and I'm really happy I did it and I loved my dress and I I I the dress that I could have gone with was what you just described which was like the big like this dress is wearing me dress and I'm happy I didn't regardless like no matter how nice my dress was I wanted it fucking off of me like I could not I could not when I when I went pee I had to go with people like in the stall to like actually pee I couldn't wear underwear like it was tight as fuck did you do like you didn't do a skims moment or anything no skims no underwear nothing if i had done skims it would have taken me so long to pee and i'm a peer so during my wedding like i'm like a peak type of girl i'm a pee girly during my wedding like i was going back and forth

you got to you know speaking up yes my a lot of my problems are just because like i haven't drank water since 2005 but anyway i digress um i also am very excited to have you here because I really love your style. And as a New York girl, I feel like you are very kind of cutting edge and chic. Where did you get your inspiration? Where did you look online? Were there any specific people?

Because I remember being like, you can't just go to your go-to inspo for fashion because she has to have just gotten married and have all the picks because the trends are always changing. So I kind of didn't know where to get my inspo from. Yeah. I honestly, like I could have looked anywhere for inspo. but it really just came from like

what looks good on you and also Haley Bieber Oh my God Haley Bieber was like And it's funny because it wasn't even recent Yeah no What about inspo for the actual wedding And the flowers and the decor

The decor and type So I'm not gonna lie to you I had no idea What the floral was gonna look like Until I got there pretty much The floral was so good It was so bright and so colorful And like I loved it

And it was very Palm Beach Yes But I had no idea All I said was that like different colors would be pretty, you know? And we couldn't, we didn't have time to do like some like big like hubba like vibe because it was like the turnover was like two seconds. So we just put a bunch of flowers underneath. It's, it almost looks richer without the big hoopa. Like what are you trying to prove, you know, that like every flower costs a $5. Yeah. Like, you know. It's also like for that

moment, I think it's almost like when someone's very wealthy and they don't dress with like designer everywhere. You're like, oh, that's so chic. Like having even like the smaller bouquet i thought was really chic and cool i'm going for oh wait okay i'm gonna i'm going for i'm going for hell us i started being like chill barbecue on the beach vibes then it became a little bit like i got inspired by toulom a little a little rattan moment i didn't know what rattan was till i started this wedding what is it it's like how do i explain Rutan, it's like straw.

Okay. It's like straw underneath a plate. I don't fucking know, but Rattan is my shit right now. And then I was like, but I want it like Brooklyn vibe. Like you're walking in like a vintage store and there's like different color glasses like green and amber. But still on the beach. But still on the beach.

And then I was like, we need disco. We need disco balls. Yeah. So now it's, and then I was like we need a human sacrifice. and dolphins so it's and it was so funny with my fiancée's in ireland right now has no idea about these changes but it's kind of evolved

because I honestly have been on TikTok too much yeah yeah no TikTok will fuck you up TikTok I was like okay but photography you had like the flash photography at night film is very in right now my advice to you is get

like photographer is the most important thing honestly yeah Because even if your writing looks like shit, if you have a good photographer, they will make it look amazing. Sounds like a comedy show where like you bomb, but the photographer is amazing. It looks like you are Amy Schumer. And I'm like, oh my God, she's killing it on stage. I'm like, no one laughed for 40 minutes. What do you regret versus what are you like?

That was genius, Lindsay, you're a genius. Regret. I don't want to say a photo booth was pointless, but it was, it was. pretty pointless to be honest what was your photo booth it was just a photo booth that like everyone has at their weddings and like i just i feel like there was a point in time where like all we did was like post photo booth photos on instagram and that time has like passed yeah and now and it was nice it was nice to like get all the photos of people in the photo booth but i didn't even remember i don't care for those i don't want photos of other people i never i didn't remember that the photo

booth existed until like my third dress and I was like oh shit and then like blew in there and was like I need to take a photo on this booth but it was it was really pointless like that's such a good point because it's true I would never post a photo booth photo from someone's wedding as like my on my grid right never like maybe a story or two maybe a story if the lighting hit not worth like a thousand dollars for sure I am investing in like a vintage van photo booth and because it's on the ocean and I feel like it kind of fills in the outside but I could totally see it being

not the highlight of people's time. But that's cool. It's just you don't want anything that's going to deter people from dancing. True. Like no outside like no like magician on the side of your wedding. I don't know. Yeah, I try to think of all these like activities. I'm like, should we do games? And it's like no. Because people want to dance. And then what I'm like, Lindsay Wow, genius,

was we had, you know when like you're the bride and groom and like you go into something and you get swarmed, right? You don't get to eat. You don't get to do anything. Okay. So right after we got married, we went into this room and had all of the food from the cocktail hour, like for us to eat alone in this room. So did you skip the cocktail? No, we emerged after eating our food. Well, it's true. You want everyone to be able to like talk about you first. Like, oh, that was such a nice Ceremony. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was there something long or short?

It was, it felt a little long. I'm not going to lie to you while I was up there. But I think it was short. It was like between 30 and 45 minutes. What are you feeling like for yours? Des is trying to be like very quick, but he's also trying to be very traditional, which is kind of cute. Like we're not doing first look.

He wants like the first time he sees me. I also wanted to walk down to like Eve, who's that girl. I love that. And he vetoed that immediately. said he would divorce me and I'm like you can't divorce me we're not married yet but he wants to do like super traditional which okay it's like either or he's like this isn't a joke this isn't a joke and I'm like I like I like the tradition I like the tradition but make sure you take photos with him after yes immediately after he wants to do fast what fast the ceremony fast oh yeah yeah yeah

I'm not gonna lie to you I was bored at my own ceremony you know when they start talking whether it's religious or just general stuff about love and you're like you're just putting words together and no one's following this. Right. Like, but like you want to give it the time it deserves, but he also wants to do traditional even, I don't know what they're called. Vows. Thank you. You're not going to say your own. I guess we're not saying your own, but then he kind of wants to do a speech later. Okay. Which like, I don't really want to do a speech. Let him do a speech and you can just stand there. Just being like beautiful. Yeah. Just for the first time of my life, just shut the fuck up.

Exactly. Wow. That's a hot take. I just feel like, okay, if you're doing a speech, then I need to do a speech and needs to fucking crush. What is his speech? I have no idea. All you have to do is thank people for coming. Yeah, I'm like, if you want to talk about how much you love me. Yeah, what he should do is thank people for coming. And then most especially my gorgeous wife, Hannah, who blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah. And then you're like, damn straight. Yeah, and I just sit there being like, respect the queen. Yeah. It seemed like I was finding more of my hair on my pillow and my brush in the shower. I did clog the shower drain. When this hair should be on top of my head. I tried everything, but nothing worked until I found.

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Go to vagamore.com slash burn and use code burn to save 20% your first order. That's V-E-G-A-M-O-U-R-com slash burn, code burn to save 20% off at vagamore.com slash burn. That's B-E-R-N. Did you come up with your own vows? I did. And he did. Yeah. We did our own vows. I kind of do my own vows. We'll see. My wedding, by the way, is tomorrow. Like it's in a six weeks or something. So I'm like brought you here basically to like plan my wedding right now. You need to do your own vows. Like if you can. If that can be the one thing you bury from tradition, like you yeah from tradition, that's the one thing because everybody cried we have to do our own vows you're so right also but i do you coordinate a little because i don't want mine to be like long and his they're like short no that'd be

awkward so or like mine is about like really special things and he's like you know they'll throw away my invisible line yeah yeah yeah no you don't talk about like what you're saying but you time it out so i like had him read his and tell me how long it was so his was like two minutes 30 seconds so i mine was two minutes, 30 seconds. Okay. I was like, let's go tip for tat, bitch. Okay, did you have anxiety on the wedding day? No, really.

The one thing I had anxiety about was my hair because I didn't do a hair trial. And then he fucked it up. And then we had to do it again and took like an hour out of the day. I did one hair trial so far. And I wanted to do that classic thing where they like pull the hair down in the front and then give you that like glamorous curl. And I looked like a mole rat. Like, I looked so bad.

So what are you going to do instead? I think I'm just going to do waves and I might get extensions. Okay. I feel like your hair would look amazing up. Everyone says that to me. I have my own insecure. I also, like, get insecure about my ear because in fourth grade, a guy said I had elf ears. You don't.

But I grew into them, but I still talk about triggers of men from our past. Yeah. But the hair trial was so funny because the guy did it and we both were looking at each other. And like, he literally was like, you look horrible. And I was like, okay, I look horrible, right? And, like, he wasn't even trying to sell it. Like, oh, gorgeous, we love. Honest person.

He was like, this doesn't work for you. Did you have to change the whole hairstyle? The whole thing. I mean, so I asked for, like, a low bun, like, basically, like, a glorified version of, like, what I'm wearing right now that I did myself. Yes. Horrible. And I wanted, like, two pieces in the front, like, two delicate little, like, you know,

again, probably like a Haley Bieber vibe. Yeah. And he gave me, like, orthodox. Jewish, like, pay-as, you know, like, and like... Tight. Like, just, yeah, just not, not okay. And I was, like, not gonna say anything, because I'm such a people pleaser. And then I was like, you know what?

It's my fucking wedding, bro. Like, redo this. You would hate every fucking photo. I know. So what did you redo it to? We redid it to, like, a tighter, low, big bun, whatever. It was like a low bun. It was perfect.

Whatever it is, it was perfect. Yeah. But, like, that must be really stressful. for hair people on her wedding day. Like to upset a bride, it's like, it's not... And I'm psychotic with my hair. Like, I get a little crazier with makeup, but if you cut my hair two inches,

I'm like, I'm a little boy, and I'm disgusting. And I'll wear my hair in a bun for months. We have to discuss. I love how you talk about your wedding by the dress. You're like, by the second dress. How many dresses did you have? There were technically three, but one was like a two and one, so four.

How did you get to this conclusion? I found my dress first and foremost my wedding dress and I was like I'm just going to do So it had it was a dress and then it had an over skirt So I was like over skirt down the aisle take over skirt off wear dress for rest of the night until after party dress Which I always had a vision for me having an after party dress Then I went to L.A. I went to some vintage store and I found this green dress that was just like speaking to me I just have to say you guys Google Lindsay Metzilar brides this green dress changed my life Like this green dress, I knew you were getting probably tons of messages, so I wasn't about to message you.

And then I was like, I need to just let this girl know how this dress affected me and change the path of my existence. The color, the movement, it was like giving 80s, but like chic. Thank you. Thank you. That was, honestly, my mom still is mad at me to this day because she was like, it's such a waste. Like, don't get this dress. And now she's some, she's kind of come around because she's like people, so many people have said, like, it's great. It made your wedding like a little edgy

I'm with you I honestly think it was the edge it needed And it was really fun And so I had to get the green dress And then I got the after party dress So it just all came together really quickly But I literally no one knows this But I wore the green dress

For a total of three minutes Like you got the photos Did you do the cut the cake in it? It was just for the cake cutting Like literally Did Stephen like it? He was like, whoa, what's going on? He was like, I'm drunk

Because I'm seeing green he literally when the box came from the vintage place sometimes I pretend I don't know how to open a box when he's home and he like opened it for me and then the green popped out and he was like what is this he's like is this your wedding dress and I was like how dare you look at this and he's like you made me open the package and it was like a whole thing and I was like I'm not even going to wear the dress

because he knows but I ended up wearing it whatever did you feel crazy wearing green like it was really naughty Not naughty, but I like, in the three minutes I was wearing the dress, I went over to the dance floor and I was like dancing and like people were like ignoring me because they didn't know that I was the bride anymore. Like they just like didn't know who I was for a second. And I was like, guys, like it's me. Where'd you get the third dress? The third dress was from Vivian Westwood. It was a full copy of Haley Bieber's rehearsal dinner look. because I'm basic and it's okay but like I really loved it on her and I really really wanted it Was it comfortable?

Yes, it actually was way more comfortable than my wedding dress for sure and this is so funny because if I did this interview two years ago it would go so differently but now I'm like so invested

where was the after party? It was in the same place so it's basically like just a longer party yeah we just had a DJ come in and like just rage amazing how drunk did you get? I'm sober remember

oh my god I totes forgot. Oh my God. Is Steven's sober? No, no, no, no. But he doesn't really drink either. That's kind of like my- He started drinking at the after-party.

That's my relationship with Des. I'm nervous because I haven't been drinking, not like as a choice. I just don't drink that much in my lifestyle. And I had a sangria last night. And a sangria is adorable. Like, no one would consider a real grown-up drink. I was drunk. And I, in a week, I'm going to Miami for my Bachelorette

where my friends are fully planning on blacking me out. And I'm like, I'm going to have two drinks and be passed out. Right. And I'm going to last until 8 p.m. Yeah, fully. And I'm going to ruin the party for everyone. Or they're going to go out without me. Right, right.

Do some shots for me. So I'm nervous about that. But I think I just have to focus. Like, I'm not in college anymore. I'm not like getting wasted in my bachelorette. But like if you do, it's your bachelorette. So it's a right of passage. I know.

I just want to enjoy it and not do something embarrassing, like puk or something. No, you'll be fine. Are you guys having an after party? I think it's just going. But also like Des, as an older man, is like to go to sleep by 10. Fair. So we'll see.

We'll see how long it lasts. Also, what I want to know from you, food, what do we do for the food? The food was extremely important. People don't focus on the food enough. They don't. And wedding food sucks for that reason. But we were, so we had it at the four seasons and we were really lucky that they have like in-house catering.

Yes. And so the food was great. Did you do like a tasting process where you decided what you want? And it's the best. Was that fun? Have you done it yet? I haven't done it yet and it's super sad because Dez is touring in Ireland and I think I'm going to do it alone. No, that's actually better more for you. Thank you. Okay. I did it alone with my mom and mother-in-law. Oh, okay. That's what I'm going to do. And I'll face time him for a second. I just always

envisioned like the movies when you like taste the cakes together and you're like, and this is too sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But whatever. That's the media. Just turn a capitalistic vibes on you. Exactly. And more for you. More for you. So you got to choose what you liked. We actually had two cakes. There a carrot cake and a chocolate cake. Oh, my God, that's fun. Carat cake is so underrated, it's insane. So underrated.

As long as it doesn't have raisins and nuts in it, it's amazing. You're right, because I think people will bite into it with a nut and raisin moment and be deterred for life. Exactly, as they should be. Did you do a little cream cheese frosting? We did, of course. It was like the standard, like, steak or fish vibe. It started with barata. And then, oh, but the cocktail food was the best of all.

It was like pigs in a blanket, mac and cheese, hamburgers. like sushi That's so fun because I kind of wanted that vibe If I say vibe one more time I'm going to punch myself in the face But I do also The fact that you had barata is so exciting for me It was exciting

Because that is a celebratory I have to tell you I've been to weddings since Where they like have like a leafy appetizer and it's not okay Who's the mood? No one wants to eat a leaf No one wants rabbit food

Like people need sustenance And so then we had after party food Which was like chicken fingers and pizzas and fries. Oh, my God. What was the dress code for your guests? Black tie. What are you going to do?

Ooh, chic. We did not give great. I just said, like, I kind of want people to have fun with it and see what they bring. Because I have some people I know will be chill and then some people who are going to have like a Kendall Jenner moment page.

And did you have any friends come with a Kendall Jenner moment? Yes, one of them actually. But she okayed it with me. She was like, can I wear this? And I was like, yeah, you look odd, whatever. That's amazing. I feel like every friend is now scared that they're going to have a Kendall Jenner moment.

For sure. And Paige is jokingly sending me the most ridiculous outfits being like this one I'm going to wear for your wedding day. I'm dying. And it's like a full bikini. What did you write though as your dress code? I wrote beach formal. So I'm like figure it out. Figure it out from there.

And I have some people who have like mood boards. I just want people know it's beach but nice. But not black tie. See that's like I love you. you're contributing to this like mass confusion of like that's why I did black tie because it's so clear we're going to a wedding in a few weeks black tie means like gowns yeah yeah I guess pretty much I want people to be able to wear like cocktail kind of yeah no and I get that but we're going to a wedding and it's and it's the dress code is California chic meets east coast

form no what does that mean that that is like a proverb that makes no fucking sense tell me what you would wear. But also if you're from the East Coast, how do you know what California Sheik is? Exactly. And from California Sheik, how do you know East Coast formal is? In my mind, I'm like, do I wear a surf out, like a surfer? What's that called? Like a bikini. What's it called the surf suit? Oh, oh, a wetsuit. Do I wear a wetsuit with like a top hat and black heels? Like, what does that mean? Also, they're asking for a synergy. Yeah. It's not like one or the other. Right. Like, how about East Coasters wear black tie and California people don't? I'd rather it be like two people fighting. Do you know what it is? It's her being like, I know what I'm wearing. You guys

figure it the fuck out. That's what you're doing. And they're putting a challenge. I feel like beach formal means cocktail. Beach formal. If I were going to your wedding, which I might crash. Yeah. I would wear like a floral dress. Yes. I see florals. I see different palettes of pastels and but like I want I don't want people to feel like they have to be too like I want to be high fashion like people can have moments if they want can someone wear like a mini dress if they yeah yeah I could see that and I'm still like putting together the accessories but I kind of love pearls right now and I haven't picked my second dress yet

because I was like pretending I wasn't going to have one right right right and then Paige yelled at me I bet you page can help you find a sick one yeah did you do a bachelor's up party I did like a night of Bachelorette party. That's good. In the city we just like an omacase with all my friends and then we'd like dance on chairs. I wanted to do Miami

but I'm doing, I did a destination wedding. And so it was like a lot to ask of people. Wow, that was really nice of you. I lied honestly. I just no one could make the weekend I wanted in Miami. I'm not that nice. I was like, I didn't see that for you. you honestly i just twisted it to like seem like an amazing person probably had to plan it like

immediately yeah no one was just there wasn't enough time but i would have dragged everyone's ass to miami and made them spend exactly what i spent on their fucking bachelor party bachelor parties in miami because it's payback bitch you know it's funny i am the first one in the friend group getting married besides taylor strecker who's going to be there who i didn't have to do a bachelor party for it she had like a tiny little wedding she might have a bigger one later but we'll see um do you love the ring are you happy with the ring how do you choose your wedding ring oh yeah i'm very happy with it i um i it was like it was no secret that i wanted to get engaged as i'm sure like you know every world every girl um but i was chatting with my

my husband's best friend one night and he was like pretty drunk and he was like what ring do you want and I was like oh sweet and just like sent him a photo but before that every time someone got engaged I would be like oh my god look like Alana's engaged how do you feel about her ring to my now husband and he'd be like oh it's nice and I'd be like well it's not as nice as this one exactly that I would like I was ready just texting Des rings early on as a joke because he very early on was like flirty where he's like I'm gonna marry you so then I just went with it and then it just like happened and I didn't know if it was a bit or not like it kind of went too far do you feel like there's so much excitement into like realizing you're going to get engaged

getting engaged planning the wedding wedding happens do you almost feel like an adrenaline like drop right now honestly no and it's so crazy to me how people do feel that way and I hate to say this and like drag brides that feel this way because I feel for them but I feel like it's like some people have nothing going on and like planning a wedding is like their whole thing yeah like it's like their third job and then when it ends and like it is your third job regardless but like if it's your first second and third job yeah and then you have you lose a job basically after your after your wedding happens and you're like I have nothing and I get that and but also I get missing your wedding like I miss my wedding I wish my wedding was every day because it was all about me and like there are people in

walkie talkies being like I'm with Lindsay I'm with Lindsay and obviously I miss that but it's like I I'm so happy that I'm done with it at the same time. I have all these amazing memories, amazing photos, and I can now, like, be married and, like, you know, live in marital bliss. Yes. So I don't really feel like that, like, sadness. Obviously, do I want my, like, honeymoon to have lasted forever? For sure.

Where'd you go again? We went to Anguilla, and it was just, like, very chill on a beach, like, sex, sleep, read. How many days? We were there for seven days. And, you know, people go on their honeymoon for, like, two weeks. And it's like, God bless them. Like, that's amazing. It's so nice to be rich, like that.

But it also, it's a lot of time, like, out of the world. And when you really like to work. And you get so much anxiety. I'm literally Kim Kardashian. I'm like, if you work. If you get up to ask from Anguilla for a second, maybe it's successful. But, like, we both wanted to get back to work. Like, when you actually don't answer emails and, like, don't, like, post on social media for a week, like, that's like, you want to get back into it.

Yeah. You know, you can't, like, completely fall off. otherwise like you're not going to have a job lose all your relevance in a week it happens that's why kim is getting your ass up every day exactly i feel i'm getting a little anxiety because i'm not great at like having fun like i'm really good at working i'm really good at getting shit to get shit going i'm not fun stress i don't like pressure to have fun yeah same someone's like getting beat up outside i don't like people being like this has to be the greatest night of your life yeah yeah it scares me because then I'll be in my head about it like am I having enough fun like I'm that person at the party who's in her own head like is this fun are we really having fun do you guys really like each other go in the bathroom stare at yourself I'm like is where you want to be right now I'm the same but all you have to do all night of your wedding is smile that's the only thing you have to do and then you just are convinced that it's like the best night of your life yeah smiling the whole night ballroom I know some women who were like it was the worst day of my life I was stressed the whole time I couldn't enjoy it and and that very well maybe like I I had so much fun at my wedding and I had so much fun at my wedding

It was the best ever. And, like, looking around, seeing everyone who loves us and was there for us was huge. Yes. But, like, maybe I had a better time at, like, a best friend's wedding because I was able to chill. And you know what I mean? So it's like, obviously it's going to be fun. But, like, don't put on that, like, birthday. It's my birthday.

It has to be the best of it ever pressure. People put so much pressure on it. And then even with the honeymoon, it's such a thing as a little girl where you envision, like, the honeymoon. It's like, the first time we're fucking. Yeah, literally. And it has to be this magical thing. where like it's honestly just like vacation right where are you guys going to go you know we weren't we're not

sure but i think we might do sicily because i have family there that we've never met and he might have like a gig in ireland later so we might do like sicily and then go to ireland a gig his second family it's a whole thing oh god but there's so many details that you don't realize that you have to make for this wedding and then you realize later did the details matter yes they really did they do they do they do how is your family during the the process of planning really good really good and like my there was a moment there were there were like a few touch and go moments where like my dad called me and he was like what the fuck he goes we're out of money like basically and and i was like yeah like i didn't know that like a coaster was 50

either like because when you say wedding people just up charge you oh my god yeah des was like tell them it's a birthday party yeah always yeah tell them less tell them less it's a gathering it's a gathering do you how many people are invited 250 but um literally i'm not kidding when i say of my own friends 25 so it was all your parents friends well okay so hear me out uh huh i invite 20 friends, Stephen invites 25 friends. So I might 25, he invites 25. That's 50 and 50 because everyone's a couple now. So that's 100. True. Yeah. So. So. A hundred immediately. Immediately. And then you're both your families. Families like cousins and shit. And then they're friends like that's like that's like another 80. And then my parents friends. So do you have bridesmaids? I did. Do you feel like bridesmaids gives a little

like my space top eight vibes? 100%. Because like you never. As to choose people. It's like choose, choose your best friends. And then you also have to rank them. Like how they stand. Rank. It's like Snapchat best friend. Yes.

How many did you have? I had nine. That's a decent amount. It was decent. Yeah. Are you going to do them? So I have like eight or nine girls at my bachelette party and then no one for the wedding. Just didn't want to deal with bridesma dresses.

I know we had talked about this. And I was like still on the fence. but I think that's good like no rocking the boat how many people so by the way even though I invited 250 only 236 came how many did you invite it and how many I think we've invited like 200

and we're at like 170 perfect yeah you got to find a big beach but we it's the ocean baby we're doing West Hampton amazing but we we've gotten kind of we wanted to initially have like no one

invited and then it got really reckless yeah same did you have any like um beef or any like on the cusp things that were annoying 100% i actually i will i will say i regret not making two of my friends bridesmaids um because they're amazing and like lifelong friends but at the same time it's like they're you know like how groups are it's like if you make one you have to make all and like the groups are brutal it's just hard you know it's hard And we're not getting married at like 22 where we kind of have this like one friend group. You're looking at all the friend groups you've had throughout your life.

And but it's still this moment in your life. And then people be like, don't invite people that you don't think you'll be talking to you in five years. And I'm like, no, I want to talk to the people I'm talking to you now. Right. But it's also like how do I know? And how do I know? How do I know? How do I know you're not going to like get like a horrible boyfriend who sucks and you're going to move to Arizona?

How do I know what's going to happen in your life? Join a cult in Arizona. And we don't hear from you for 10 years until you come back. And it's a whole thing. So I feel like the bachelor party's fun too because I called Des and I was like, what are you going to do for your bachelor party? And he was like, I'm exhausted. He's like, I've been a bachelor my whole life. I'm just going to close my eyes and remember things. And I'm like, that is wild. But I respect it. But he's kind of lived his life like ski trips and like traveling. And like he really has lived that life of like he was going to be single forever. And he's probably going to like hang out with his. guys right before the wedding but yeah it's happening it's all happening it's so soon how was your mental health like before during and after before not well explain I just was like not able to relax and chill and I just mean like the three days four days leading up to it before that I was fine I was like so chill during the planning process like it was shocking to friends of mine they were like, are you hiding?

Yeah, yeah. And then three days leading up, I was not well. Like, I was not, like, outwardly unwell, but inwardly very unwell because I was like, I never did a wedding diet, but I was, like, doing the, like, fish and veggies and a grain, like three weeks, three days out, three days out, not weeks. So you were hungry. And I was hungry and just, like, not, I was hungry. And I was like, you know, I never eat healthy.

Like, never. Very rarely do I eat healthy. I imagined if I was going to eat fish for three days, I would be like, people would be like, are you okay? Like, you're falling over. You're so skinny. Yeah. And like that didn't immediately happen.

I think my body actually likes it better when I eat like shit. I know that's crazy. Sometimes it goes right through you and that is like a laxative diet. And so I was like, I'm doing this stupid fish thing and for what, you know? So I was like in a, in a mood. Well, that is like a form of like putting a lot pressure on yourself and like feeling out of control of your body and all that stuff. There's a lot of pressure that on your wedding day, your body has to look the best

ever looked, which is wild. Wild. Because I'm like not, you don't live your whole life just to like make your body look good. So I'm like traveling like crazy. There's all these things that aren't, I don't have, I can't get like consistent working out and eating healthy. And I'm just kind of like, I'm not going to be this, the skinniest I ever was. First of all, being skinny is not a thing.

Like you should look how you look when they propose to you because that's how they want. Oh, Des literally yelled at me. He's like, don't get skinny for the wedding. I don't, like, I like you. Yeah. And, like, think the concept of that you're hotter when you're skinny is a whole, like, social construction in itself. I think I look like a cake pot when I get too skinny. I mean, you look amazing right now.

And the only reason, the only reason that I, like, did the fish thing for three days is because I wanted, like, the glow. Yes. You wanted to feel like you were treating your body well. That's literally it. Like, we had nothing to do with it. You just didn't want grease just coming out of your pores from, like, me. McDonald's. Yeah.

I love that so much because it becomes a very visual thing where everyone's looking at you and you have to be like so fucking beautiful. But it really is about you just feeling comfortable. And I think that I know some people who like don't even look like themselves in their wedding day, like the fake tan and like you try really hard with the makeup. And next thing you know, I'm like, I don't, you don't even look like that. I've never seen you look like that before. And then your husband's like, who are we marrying? Right.

I'm so excited to not have to say fiance. anymore. So, it's like the Fiancé is so chuggy. Or it's so just like it sounds like I think I'm better than you. Right.

My fiance. Yeah. My fiance. And then if you say boyfriend just to like not have to deal with fiance, everyone's like, he's your fiance. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you're like, okay, well, this was, I want the last five minutes in my life back. You should just, there should be a way to just be like the person I'm marrying and I went to blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. You know, just so you don't have to say it.

I want to end, because this has been so productive and insightful, and thank you for opening up about such a private night, even though it wasn't that private, but a personal night, a personal night. I want to do the Seven Deadly Sins, wedding edition. Yes. Seven Deadly Sins. What are you greedy about? Like, when it comes to the wedding. When it comes to the wedding. Hmm.

I mean, like, everything. because everything is so expensive at any wedding. So, like, I was greedy about my photographer because I was like, I need to have the best photographer and I don't care what he costs. So greed. Yes. Who are you envious of in terms of weddings?

Ooh, I mean, Haley Bieber. Obviously. Did you expect Haley Bieber to have such an iconic wedding? I have to tell you. I don't know anything about her wedding. All I know is what she wore. What she wore and how. I mean, she did like the long.

sleeve off the shoulder which I would love you know it's very in right now gloves people are loving gloves people do love gloves are you going to have a glove moment I think I am I kind of love a reveal I love a glove mm-hmm what did you overindulge in at the wedding definitely carrot cake yes can I ask you something embarrassing yeah did you guys have sex on the wedding night no I feel like not embarrassing at all I feel like most couples don't nobody has sex on their wedding night if you had sex on your wedding night you had sex on your wedding night you had a bad fucking wedding. You had a lame wedding. You had a very pathetic wedding. Very pathetic. And you should be ashamed. Ashamed. So doesn't I have this joke that we haven't done anal and I'm like,

I'm saving it for the wedding night? Because I was using it to get him to propose. I'm like, I'll do ano when you propose. And then I was like, are you excited to do anal? And he's like, no, actually fucking do an anal on my wedding night. Like that's just like, that's a lot. And then I was like, so now you're saying no? I should say no. Right. Right. No. He's not. He's not. allowed to say now. You'll tell him. I'm like, you just rejected me doing anal. Right. But I do think on the wedding night, you're supposed to be like exhausted. Yeah, you are. And then just lie there. You are. And you're just like, we're married. Yeah, that's it. Because like, you've had too much love throughout. You can't even like give anymore. Your feet are killing. Yes. Yours might not be

because you're on the beach, but were your, was your dress dirty at the end? Oh, wait, you had so many dresses. No, because I changed so many times that the last dress was short, so it couldn't get dirty. genius because I had a friend who it was black like the whole bottom of her dress was black I believe it did you what was the one thing that you experienced the most wrath at your wedding

ooh oh my god anyone who asked me to take a photo with them that like I was like random like for example like a random cousin came up to me and she was like can we take a family photo like no no bitch would be the worst celebrity oh my god

the worst are you like that with listeners and fans no no no let me let me be clear I actually love taking photos with people. Love. Love. However, when you're only given like two hours to be on the dance floor, on your wedding night, you don't want to leave the dance floor and go take a photo with your second cousin twice removed. No, you're right.

Because then it just turns into like a meet and greet with your extended family. You will have the same experience. I'm telling you. Yeah. I'm more so I think what I'll do is I'll have my photographer around. And when someone wants a photo, I go, okay, come here and like have him quickly take it. So it's like a professional one. It's a vibe.

Yeah, exactly. I said vibe again. When was the time that you were like gave yourself to relax the most besides the honeymoon? Sloth? Yeah. Or in the honeymoon, did you really like sleep and just chill? Yeah, that was slothy. That was a slothy moment.

I didn't work out at all. So I guess the honeymoon. But like for the wedding, yeah, it's so hard. you don't really have sloth on your wedding you can't no you can't relax you can't no one eats they say i definitely ate um a shit ton of um what are the eggs uh hard boiled eggs very random oh like deviled eggs no just hard boiled just hard boiled okay on the day of muscle muscle i was i was a bodybuilder um okay this is actually an interesting one about pride because i feel like wedding does involve your ego in a way. How was your ego during all of it? Because you had to have moments where you had

to check in with your ego. Um, again, like, shocking to me even. I was like not a bridezilla on my wedding day. So I didn't feel like I had ego, but there was one moment where I wanted Stephen to come to the side and be like, let's look at all the people who love us and like have this moment. And he was like talking to one of his high school friends. And I was like, How dare you? Like, how dare you when your wife calls you over for something? Talk to somebody else. So that was an ego moment.

I want a reality show of, like, what actually happens at weddings, like, people who actually get in fights during weddings. Oh, my God. You have no idea. It's way more common than you think. Yeah, because it is, like, high pressure. And, like, you have all these scripts in your head of how you want him to be. And if he doesn't, like, align with it.

Oh, we got invited our wedding. That was, that's like, I don't consider a fight. But I wore the... You're like, that was just a day and... I wore the over. skirt for like the dress that I was explaining to you to my cocktail hour because I loved it so much and I wasn't going to wear it for the rest of the night and it was dragging so much that like every single person was like stepping on it and we had to do like such damage control like walking

around and then when we were leaving the cocktail hour he says to me in front of my wedding planner he's like why did you have to wear that cock like that did you have to wear that over skirt or like whatever he didn't call you didn't know that it's called he was like did you have to wear that thing and I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, I already wore it. You know what I mean? Like, why would he say that? And I was like, was there any point to you saying that, like, on our wedding day?

And we both looked at the wedding planner and he was like, there wasn't a point. And I was like, exactly. And the wedding planner becomes, like, relationship. Always, always on the wedding day. Yeah, because they like being like some couples like this, but you guys could be like that. Right. And you might get stressed about this, but you have to support her with that. Yeah, exactly.

They just are like, let's just not, let's just make it through. Okay, one, what was the, for lust? What was the sexiest or most like beautiful, loving moment you had with Stephen during, like, what was your most romantic moment? It was during his vows. I, like, wanted to rip his clothes off because I was like, what you're saying is so fucking hot and sexy. Does it make you, like, want him to have more words of affirmation all the time? Um, no, because he gives me so much of it. Okay, that's good.

Oh, my God. That's good. Because I almost feel like I'm like, you need to do that now every day, because I need to feel like that every day. If you're capable of it, now we can see you're capable of it. Right. Better show. What did you decide for the dances?

We did a dance to Invisible String by Taylor Swift because I'm a Swifty basic. And then I did a father-daughter dance, and then he did a mother-son dance. And that was it. What song did you do with your dad? I did because you loved me by Celine Dion. Oh. How are you feeling about that? I know you have a...

My dad and I have a very best friendy. Like when we hug, like, I'll punch him in the stomach type thing. So it was weird. But then we love the Bee Gees. So I wanted to do like, how deep is your love or something? But then my mom was like, that's like about like love. Like that's creepy. Like you can't have like a romantic song.

So we think we're going to do a bill. Joel song. Love that. Which would be really fun for us. Love that. Finally, for people who are dealing with weddings and all this stuff, when you're going through your darkest time and you're like, I'm going to chuck myself off the, whatever, what advice do you have for them?

Remember that you and your partner are on the same team. The only reason you're planning a wedding is because you're getting married. like not because there's some fucking drama it's not supposed to be negative and like sad but it can be so just focus on the fact that you're both doing this because you love each other so much that you want to get married and start a life together and just keep that in mind you're on the same fucking team i love that so much lindsay where can people follow you listen to you give me all the deeds you can follow me at we met at acme on instagram or at lins metz l-l-n-d-z m-tze and listen to we met at me wherever you listen to podcasts and definitely listen to Hannah's episode. Yes. That was like the

beginning. I think I just had gotten engaged. So get the tea. Thank you guys for coming to hell today. We'll talk to you later. Bye.