Berner Phone - Mercedes Javid: Trust Issues & Tinder Husbands

Episode Date: July 23, 2020

How she met her husband on Tinder, overcoming trust and abandonment issues, dating during quarantine, not needing validation, her opinion of Luke, her relationship with her body after pregnancy, affirmations, cheating in your dreams, and the struggles of doing a virtual reunion. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/berninginhell/support Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Burning Hell. It's a hot one today, not only because MJ is in LA, but she is a foxy bitch. She is, I would say, one of my favorite reality TV people in general. MJ, welcome to hell. I like to call you the Michael Jordan of Shaz. Shaz. Thank you. I am, I'm just going to tell you, I love you because, so we are meeting and talking for the first time right now. Yes. We probably could consider a stepping stone to be Paige, right? Yes. And my stepping stone to page would be while Alexander, do you know him? Have you

ever met him? He's a friend of hers. And he's been a couple of times to the Hamptons when you guys were shooting. But he's not jumping in front of the camera like some other people that don't belong in front of the camera. We love a low-key guest. We love a laid-back guest. I texted Paige earlier and I said MJ from Shaz is coming on my pod next week. I want to make, I want to make her my friend instead of yours. And Paige said, wow, good luck. This is months of friendship, you'll have to get in an hour, and I go, I love a challenge. So Paige and I are fighting over you. I'm so honored. I wish I could say that I'm going to come to New York and see you guys, but what part of New York are you hunker down in? I'm right now out in the Hamptons in Shelter Island,

but Paige and I would love an L.A. trip, so maybe that is more realistic for us. You guys can stay here when you come out here and save thousands of dollars in hotel because i'll show you this is a vast as fuck pool this pool is probably four times bigger than the one that you guys shoot in and there's a hot tub in the corner that there's a hot tub what do you guys have out there that's the wildest part of your like a side up is it fire island no like what's the most wild I feel like Montau is the most wild. It gets very rowdy because it's like a younger crowd because it's not as expensive. So people are just like drinking in the streets, partying.

It's like a beach town where people just overconsume. Will you still go? I do on occasion when I have to let loose a little bit because, you know, this life can be tough and you need to release sometimes. And you're still a baby and you can milk that shit. Well, what's funny is Paige and I We kind of broke the fourth wall with Bravo Because we're not really

But we were filming Summer House And at night we have hitting cameras And we had nothing to do And we turned on Shaw's And we were watching Shaw's while being filmed on Bravo And it was this crazy meta moment And that's when Paige and I realized That we both love Shaw's

Because we were like, what should we watch? And I was like, maybe Shaz And she was like, fuck yeah, we're watching Shaz And I just feel like your sense of humor and glam and just overall confidence has been so like I can't stop watching you. And you love New Yorkers, don't you? A little bit too much. I had to marry one. He's, wait, is he Queens? Yeah, he's Queens. He's Queens. He's Howard Beach Queens. I think the Queens accent is so sexy. Did you, was it a lot for you at first or were you immediately into it? Okay, so when we first met on

Tinder, yeah, he would just keep it on the Tinder app and we were texting on the app and I was like, when is this guy going to take it off the app and ask me for my number? Two, then he kept texting me on the phone and didn't actually want to make a phone call. Then I was like, here's my number if you want to, like you have my number if you want to call me. The first time that I heard his voice, I was like, did you drink like 20 cups of like what's going on with you? He was like so, so, amped up because his baseline is like up here. Yeah. I know that you got in trouble a little on Shaz because you made a comment about the different cultures of, you know, Persian men and American men. But as a Persian woman, which I don't

apologize for it. And not only do I not apologize for that, but had the conversation gone longer, I would say Persian women, I'm myself personally can be controlling. I can be territorial. My husband thinks that he can give me permission to do things. I'm like, listen, do not lift your leg and try to be on me. But for you to even be like, do you want to call me or here's my number? Is that not traditional like Persian woman to do? Yeah, I think that we are supposed to be in the driver's seat. I think his his like technique or what what do you like he was like part of his game was like I'm going to I'm not going to push and that way she'll like initiate and then I really like I liked him from the text like

before I heard his voice I already liked him um I told him I loved him before I met him face to face it was a mess but I meant it obviously I knew what I was saying I never lived with anyone before him by the way. Wow. Because you were so independent and I think you probably got to the mental mindset where you were like, I'm, I'm just going to marry a man to be married. Yes, cheers. She's drinking or chugging a bud light, not sponsored. So cool. They can send us some. Oh yeah. But how did you know he was one? Like this Queens guy probably so different from guys you've dated in the past. So different. I had dated serial monogamous, Persian guys long term, like two years, three years. He proposed

in 10 months of meeting. I was totally freaked out. The cameras were actually rolling. It was in a cemetery. It was at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. And like at that moment, and he knows this. I was like, I really don't know if I'm ready to like commit to this because I've had relationships three times longer that I broke off. But I said yes. And how I knew was because he would show up and go to the hospital with me every single day, including Saturdays and Sundays. And that to me was like, me with my horrifying trust issues and probably abandonment issues from mom and like attachment to my dad who he and I were like thick as thieves so like I had one completely like overwhelming love from one parent and like the opposite from another

and my mom is always like even to this day she's like such a persians are so suspicious in nature like we don't believe you like everyone's got like another agenda and like bad intentions or like you have to have like those evil eyes or whatever so are you dating well i'm asking you because as a single lady in quarantine i'm like what is it like to find the one how do you know i think i've been face timing a little single people if the quarantine's going to continue you have to have an honor system you have to establish something where you're not going to be able to date like three people at the same time you're not going to be able to like kiss three different people and within the same two week period you have to have to

to be more choosy, which is probably good because the bad, the drawback with these apps is that it's giving people really easy access and a lot of choice at the same. So many options. Right. So in order to eliminate that, let's say like this is a blessing in disguise because now you're going to have to be like, all right, I'm going to have to be more selective. And the reason is because I am only going to fuck with guys that I like, meaning you're going to talk to them, then you're going to get a COVID test, then you're going to quarantine.

and then you're going to give each other the time of day. Does that not make sense? You nailed it because people are being all negative and I'm like, I've never gotten to know men as much as I had. I'm speaking to men that I normally would go on like two dates with and, you know, mess around and never talk to again. But we're like FaceTiming and really getting to know each other. Millennials are so quick to just like hook up and go on to the next one.

So I'm like, I'm talking to a couple people. it's frustrating though because you want that physical touch and we'll see what happens it's been like being kind of going from single to being this mom character do you see yourself very mentally regret to be a mom I am I'm so I'm so lucky though because I got to do anything and everything listen to this ready for me to blow your mind okay I went to every Coachella. That means I have been to the first Coachella. That was like 18 years ago.

So I went to every Coachella. Let me tell you it was Jane's Addiction and like chili peppers. Then I had my full career with nothing to hold me back from it. I had all the traveling that I would ever want to do. I got to date, like, tall guys, ugly, smart, whatever, like, the gamut. One day I realized, I was like, you know what, Maris, like, ask yourself this question. Do you realize that you don't need to valid, like, you don't need validation of men? You have pretty much been desired, the object of the desire of every person on the spectrum of the rainbow.

But it's time that you actually flip the script on yourself and, like, stop trying to please anyone else and see what you're worthy of, like, see what you mean, what's the other way. Like, referring the person that's worthy of you and what you want. What do you want? But I think women are so in this field of, like, competing with each other to see what guy will like, even like the bachelor, like, oh, I hope he likes me. And it's you having to be like, but do you actually like him? Right. And we all just want to be wanted. And I do think growing up with, like, I was an athlete, and when I would win or do better,

my parents would love me more. So I take love like, oh, if I work harder at it or if I try harder, maybe it'll work. But that's not how love works. It's not like a game. You just have to be yourself. And I guess I'm in that point. I'm 28. I'm really trying to find who I am.

And don't just date guys because they're hot. No, because it's, you know, they teach children. to award effort, not results. Oh, 100%. Look at you learning all this mom stuff. I mean, I picked it up somewhere. And then so for sure, the Bachelor scenario always really triggers me because I see all these women, like, stepping over each other's head.

And when I saw Corinne, who I think is really in IRL, like a completely normal, nice girl, but the way that she had to get his attention. by being so extremely sexual. Yeah, like over the top. Like, I'm going to get naked. Like, she was basically like me on Ambien like 10 years ago, right? Like, she was.

So, like, you know, like, I'm, I will say, like, when people, you know, the people that, like, turn off the light, take the sleeping pill and go to sleep. And then there's people who are like, okay, I'm going to take the pill and I'm going to go outside. That's how allegedly I'm not alleging. Oh, my God. I don't want to get in trouble with any person. I was talking about myself, right? But you know, you know what I'm saying?

So, like, when I see that, like, all I thought about was, like, the lack of camaraderie with the other women and how, you know, like, I could never imagine having to compete with another person. Like, you only should be competing with yourself to be your best self, to please yourself. Like, today I was talking to my mom on the hike, and she was talking to me about, like, just like her opinion about her outlook on something in my life. And I was like, wait a minute, wait a minute, you can't tell me how to feel. Like she was like, but, you know, I want you to seem stronger.

And I was like, but I also need to permission for my own feelings to be valid and validated. Like I, you know, let's not get sidetracked by the shitty things like Instagram and all the other social platforms where we're scrolling. and we're seeing like this perfect image and that perfect image and it's all a sham so it's also motherly thing to like when your kid gets hurt to not be like you're okay to be like oh that hurt it's okay you're allowed to feel and I think your mom's yeah sometimes with my mom I'll just be like I don't want a solution I want you to be like Hannah that must suck and just like feel it with me I do think though Tommy showing up at the hospital every day especially if someone who deals with the bandmen issues or intimacy stuff, it's showing that like he cares. And I think so much love

when you're young is so like, you know, is he hot, is a sex good, is a banter good. But like love is like a deep, deep care. And I think even this season on Shaz, we saw a side of Tommy that was like, he's the Papa Bear and no one fucks with his family. Yeah. Was it, what was it like watching him in his most extreme this season? So I really felt bad that Tommy saw the side of Reza that wasn't the way that his friends are. So like, you know, Tommy's friends are like the same ones that he's been in since elementary high school. He like is 41 and he's like, how could you guys fall out like that? like friends don't fall out the way that you and resa fell out like over some you know hearsay

or gossip and over like thoughts and desperate thirsty people um and i think like i felt a little bit like embarrassed that like i was like your friends are so much more lifers and i was obviously proud of him but he really went through it and for that i wish i could protect him like I want to be the mama bear that wants to, like, cure him or, like, take that pain away and protect him from it. I wish he never had to see that of readers. Well, it's also him and his friends never had to deal with this reality TV life that we lead. And you and Reza are dealing with not only, like, your own friendship, but at the end of,

kind of your egos of, I don't know if I watched it right, but what I got from it was Reza was like, me and her were supposed to have each other's back in this. reality TV experience and the fact that he might possibly be like helping someone else make him look bad in some type of way like it's all like kind of an ego thing towards the end like you don't even remember what you guys were fighting about yeah I was like you know what if we never talk to each other again then I guarantee you that he would not he would be like I don't know it's a blur you know like what happened to you guys I don't even remember anymore because there were so many people that were like throwing shade like many so many people

were happy to like see us fall out because they wanted to get close to me or close to him and replace me or replace him and slide in there and um another thing is that i did stay home with my son for the first seven, eight weeks, showed up to a pool party and didn't get quite the warm, well, yeah, I didn't get, so I was going to say, I didn't get the warm welcome that I thought I deserved. So like, for that, I'm like, I am like not bulletproof, but I'm bulletproof because obviously we're going to address at the reunion and I'm sure in subsequent conversations because the reunion is you just did your reunion, you know, I saw you I was tough.

I, yeah, I have to say I was, when I was watching you and, um, Luke, can I talk about, can I, am I, am I skipping over the subject or am I able to switch to Luke, Luke? You can, let's go there. So I remember how I felt about Luke when I first saw him. I was like, she better not let him in there. And then when Hannah and you, I mean, when Paige and you got into it over him, I was like, how is this happening? And then you just handled yourself.

I mean, you handled yourself so well. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you really did. And the medium of Zoom, you were like a guinea pig. You guys for Summer House for being like one of the first Zoom reunions because Atlanta's like a whole different thing. And you two were the sick, the two of you, your. or two shows were so hard.

Like, I would so much rather be in a room and rough it. Like, how do you feel? Let me ask you. How do you feel the medium of a Zoom reunion versus sitting around two feet away from each other and hashing it out? I've never had a real reunion because we didn't have one last year. So this is my only experience, but I'm all about energy and eye contact. Like, I wanted to be, like, feeling how people are feeling.

You know, you're looking at the Zoom. You don't know who's looking at you, who's what. And then to get a word in, you start focusing too hard on getting the word in. And by the time you get the word in, you forgot what you were going to say. Very true. And it was actually tough because Luke was his first season. And we started refighting. Like he started, like I called him a little bitch once and he got upset on the screener.

He saw he was getting upset. He just was getting upset. I think he was getting some hate online. And he was kind of because he's comfortable with me, like taking it out on me a little bit. And at one point, I just got mad. I was like, dude, I'm the only one who's had your back. Fuck you. Like, I need a break from you.

So we're about to shoot the reunion in like two to three weeks. And part of me is like, do I call him and just make up? Because we were talking every day. It wasn't like I broke up with him. But I needed a break from him. And I said, you know what? Fuck it. Let's just go in the reunion and see what happens.

And he like came at me at the reunion. and I was like He looked so bad when he did that Oh man I was like that's what happens When I wasn't there to train his ass Because when he's with me His mind is right

He calls me I'll talk him through everything But then I'm also at the point where it's like I'm sick of dating guys And I feel like I have to therapists And like I have to be above water all the time When it's like sometimes I want someone Who can be there for me

Absolutely And he's older, he's 36 But he's taught me a lot And also, you know, you've probably had a lot of relationships. Some relationships, like, we love each other. But I feel like I want to have so many different kinds of love in my life. And he's not the one that I, like, want to marry. Not at all.

Not at all. Let me have a model. Jesus. Yeah. You know, like, he was, he was, he, it's a bad look. If there's one good double standard is that men can make themselves look really stupid when they come aggressive at a woman. And he did that.

I think that what else, like, speaking of Summerhouse, when Carl went on that date with that girl that wanted nothing to do with him, and she could just, like, see right through him, read him like a book and was like, deuces, I'm not interested in going out with you. And he was like, kind of like, like, didn't get it. He was like slow to the take. Still thought she might come out. That shit's important. I have this new thing where when any of my friends asked me, do you think this guy likes me? I know when I was younger I'd go with the bullshit now I go if you're wondering if he likes you if you're wondering if he wants to see you it's not happening move the fuck on because you'll know

it's a no yeah so when you're thirsty what do you do you get a drink of water it's a person saying basically say like it's it's like in a shakespearean farcy that when someone is thirsty for water the first thing they're going to do is get that glass of water and like When it comes to men, like if you're sitting around waiting for a guy, then to call. I mean, first of all, we have to be past games. Everyone here is bold enough to be past games. Also, not playing games shows confidence. Doesn't mean that you're a spineless jellyfish.

You reciprocate. You know, it's like, all right, you bought me dinner. I will say thank you. You will ask to see me. I will, you know, I mean, I don't have to say yes tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. but I can say like this Saturday. So you and Tommy didn't play any games besides the Tinder little, you know. So that would be, I guess, would count as him playing his, like his game.

And then after the first night that we saw each other, I ghosted him for two weeks. Why? I just was like, I had to do the walk of shame. It was like the Uber walk of shame on a Monday morning. So I think that had a lot to do with it. Was the sex good? amazing amazing and it was like a very long session um like an all-nighter this is a tea i want yeah it was you need a two weeks your vagina to recover no i was like a little bit of no i did a

little bit of like that recoil where i was like oh my god what i just do i don't know if i like him who is he he's a stranger i was just being like me with my issues but i enjoyed it i mean you're talking about games and I'm saying like I legit enjoyed being a brat reverting to my old immature ways but after that he goes he goes you did ghost me this is not like girls and boys do not try this at home this is not good advice for anyone to like follow this suit but he did say you were you got back into it on a Friday night you were like do want to come over and watch a movie and then we just hung out and we were like inseparable after that so Whatever.

As a lot of people listening, I have my own issues of whatever in my past that affects my relationships. But it sounds like despite whatever demons you were fighting, because you guys just had that special chemistry, it's like it fought through it. Yeah. You know, like sometimes you want to like take your time. It's kind of like if you're mad at somebody and you ask them for space, they should give you the space and let you pull off.

So he gave me space to, like, be freaked out and then calm down and then, like, clean my apartment so that he can come over. You know. So do you think his issues are compatible with your issues? We are, we have such completely different issues, like, especially on quarantine, honey. I have called my family law attorney once, but, like, I got all the information so that I know my options. Everyone's getting divorced or pregnant right now. Yeah.

So I was listening to this thing about the divorce rate and all the family law attorneys or businesses thriving on fire because you're either going to make it or you're not like Army Hammer and his wife with 13 years. And pregnancy, yeah, yeah. It's true. Well, we're not going to get separated or divorced, but I'm not. we need help I don't even know

Do you think the baby has been helpful or hurtful during this time? Baby is helpful I get a toddler now yeah once they're 12 months they're toddler I think that Tommy doesn't

is not a man to stay home and cooped up all the time okay so he's a legit or box right now but do you know what do you know what you're supposed to do you're supposed to say what are the things, the good things that I've gotten out of quarantine? Oh, so gratitude. You're supposed to, yeah.

And so I was kind of like, I asked myself the question. I was like, I don't know. And then I was like, oh, wait a minute. I've lost at least 10 pounds. Tommy's been like on this complete health kick. The baby has a really nice routine. And then you're supposed to ask yourself, what unfinished business do I have during quarantine? Like, draw out the frozen.

pawns, talk about the changes. I mean, have you, aside from Amazon purchases, which I think are a necessity for mental wellness, don't you think you've saved money? I'm living with my parents right now. I am bawling. I'm getting laundry done. I'm getting food every night. I used to spend so much money on Uber's living in New York City. I think people have become more minimalistic because we used to be able to. Yeah. And bar taps. There was just a lot of consumption going on because that's how capitalism works. And now that we can't consume as much, we realize do we even have to consume as much as we've been consuming? Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year?

I wouldn't say anything as a failure, especially because we all grow every day. Obviously, the goal is a championship. There's no doubt in that. And that's the goal. We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams. The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted. But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way and we're hoping to, you know, make it run.

So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHart Women Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Would you guys consider anything less than a championship to be a failure from this year? I wouldn't say anything is a failure, especially because we all grow every day. Obviously, the goal is a championship. That's, there's no doubt in that. That's the goal. We want to win a championship. I'm Christina Williams, host of the podcast, in case you missed it with Christina Williams.

The WMBA playoffs are here and I've got the inside scoop on everything from key matchups and standout players to the behind-the-scenes moments you won't find anywhere else. It's really, really hard to be the champions, but we have to remember how it feels and embrace the new challenge that we have. For all the biggest stories in women's basketball plus exclusive interviews with the game's brightest stars. So to be here, I think it's one that we definitely don't take for granted. But we also know, you know, that's just one stop along the way.

And we're hoping to, you know, make it run. So listen to, in case you missed it with Christina Williams and IHart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Do you find yourself like a social butterfly? I mean, you were in real estate, I feel like face-to-face, that's what you do. So have you been having trouble being cooped up? no i swear i do um safe um mom like i i have a couple of friends that are parents that respect to the quarantine and covid 19 in a pod together almost like you all have a little bit yeah

i have probably like six people um we all have like high stakes so we're not going to mess around i mean i mean this is social right here i mean we could do this like a week from now, off the podcast. I need a good light next time so we could chug together. As a newbie in reality TV, how has being on reality TV and getting that kind of fame affected friendships

in your life overall? Have you seen things change? So all of my friends off the show pretty much stopped watching the show a few years back because they took what they saw to personally. So I don't really

have a tendency to like fight dirty with people who fight with me. I have a tendency to have to watch myself, like, be low key and, like, high road or whatever. Like, that's what I, that's my perception of myself. And then as far as the people on the show, I do have some regrets about the, like, are there things I would change, like with certain girls on the show? Definitely. Because I get really angry when I care. So if I don't care about you, then I'll just be cool as a cucumber. And so it's obviously not the most productive things for me to like yell at you and kind of like your blowout with Paige. Like because I cared. Exactly. You guys were able to fix it really fast and I was really happy

that you guys were both. I just feel like millennials, if I were to make one positive generalization, it's like I feel like you guys do have like you're tapped in more to your feeling. in a child in like you know how like they say like children are honest children are in the moment you guys don't seem to be as passive aggressive as some of my friends on the cast past cast current cast where like I want to know like one thing about my mom for instance you know exactly where you stand with her oh yeah and same with me like you know exactly where you stand with me I will never be passive aggressive I'm not going to wait and hold on to it for six months and not tell you that something you did bothered me.

And so if you have that quality, like, I have to clip you. And the regrets would just be not being able to, like, hash it out or letting too much time go by without talking something through. And at the end of the day, accepting that sometimes someone else has an agenda, like isn't willing to be honest, isn't willing to be vulnerable because they see vulnerability as a weakness. So when you give me the compliment, which I do receive about being self-confident, it's like, yeah, because I don't care if you think I'm a fool.

I think I'm just human. The sooner that we find that out as people, than the sooner we could get on with, like, meaningful relationships where we're not, like, in this, like, unfulfilling prophecy, unfulfilled prophecy, you know, which... It's weird because society, obviously, like, looks up to people on TV and, like, like you're so confident, whatever, but like I'm still a girl who like I've been in relationships with guys who like have made me feel like shit or like I have the young girl inside me who still feels like she's not good enough. I'm fighting those battles of like, yeah, I do feel confident

and baddest and cool, but I have to overcome the like past to be like, no, the right guy you will feel yourself. He'll bring out the best in you. And you also don't need to try. You have so many choices and you probably have crazy things happening in your DM, right? I mean, you're on TV. You're, like, living your best life. Yeah, people pick favorites. You know, you can't please everyone. Some people, you know, you just rub the wrong way.

Like, just the same way that some people rub me the wrong way on certain cast of shows that I'm a fan of watching. And I just, like, I don't like you. And maybe I will tomorrow, but today I don't. You bother me. And, like, that's the way that then they get on their keyboards. Like, I don't actually vocalize to the people that rub me the wrong way. But that's, like, the part of the reason why I'm,

were entertained by our shows and it's all escapism because we get to focus on your stuff instead of our own, right? I love your passion for Summer House. It's like made my year. You guys. Because being Patriot equally passionate about you or more. No, thank you. But I'm sure that I am not the first person who you've come across saying that, you know,

your show is fresh. This season was great. And like it's difficult when you have people that can't have their relationship. on the show like the twins that were one was married and like she you know her husband obviously wouldn't participate and I think lived in L.A. Yeah so um you know everyone has to be 100 on the show because you're you're all like you all get a slot like your one pizza pie and each slice is important and anyone who's like kicking back trying to be wallpaper is taking a big slot away it's like we just And it's like you want to keep each other accountable, but then you're also playing all these

mind games with each other. Getting to know you a little more, this is a little deeper, but what is your kind of way of way of sabotaging yourself? Like in all these years, what is that thing that you tend to do to hurt yourself? Well, I don't, I think that my lack of compassion in the moment is my biggest downfall. So that if I could like always have that hindsight in the moment, it would be a lot easier for me to like say to the person who I care about something that puts them first rather than trying to defend my behavior because protect yourself yeah like you know it's not just about

um the reason why I did this was because I thought I was that a da da da like it's like the saying that you don't ruin a good apology with an excuse so I'm probably like the queen of that um if I could have just like eliminated that then I wouldn't like hurt people because I think a lot of people really one thing I've learned this year is that the people in my life really lean on me for an emotional the emotional rock like I'm so I can't fuck with that role that I play in their lives um I feel like you're the kind of friend that like when shit goes down like you call to be like MJ, how do I handle this? Because, like, you have that kind of confidence and, like, experience and you just seem like

you know how to fuck shit up if you have to. Yeah. And also, this two shall pass. Like, I don't, one thing my dad taught me was to not to freak out, not to overreact, not to, oh, my fountain turned on and I was like, who's here? It was just the fountain. About that time. So, the, you know, like, the way that my.

my dad, like I would come through the door like a tornado and I would be like, oh, look this happen. And he was like, take a breath. It's going to be okay. And finally, that kind of like ingrained in me to be like, okay, how are we going to handle this? Is this going to affect me five years from now? Calm down.

Let's make it right and be a problem solver. And he showed me to see the positive in things. So the more I can do that for people around me who might not have had the kind of father figure that I had is better um just to just to like always like have like if I could get one word tattooed on my hand it would be like be happy like keep it like for every problem there's a solution do you feel like doing reality V has helped you deal with high stress or high pressure situations better because it tests me girl I would say we're put into situations we would never be forced to be in by choice. Yeah, well, theoretically, yeah, because I always say,

like, I'm going to be calm no matter what. Yeah. You always think that happens. Yeah. Famous last words. I'm not going to lose it. I'm going to be so calm. I know my, like, I know where I stand on through. You're going to stay logical. Yep. Exactly. No, no name calling. No name calling. No fuck use no F-bombs and then waiting until you see the reunion I think like 50% of the day I was like shut the fuck up shut the fuck like I was so you because I feel like part of resa was trying to be like just bow down admit that you are in the wrong and let's move on from there but you kind of were like it's way more it's not as black and white as that and there you resa have also some things to apologize for too. So I'm happy you had a little kind of bark back in the reunion. Oh my God. So

who knows what they air and what they show? But oh my God. So my mom was like, yes it did. The whole time you were just saying fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Mom, it was like we didn't let you in until four hours into the day. So I don't think I started off that way. I hope I got to say some of my important things that I wanted to say. To wrap this up, because you're doing amazing, I end all my episodes with a final game called The Seven Deadly Sins. Seven Deadly Sins. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my goodness. Here we go. What are you greedy about? Love. Time with my son. Time with my husband. I'm greedy about my morning walks. I'm greedy about my ability to apply brow liner properly and symmetrically.

Next question. Who are you envious of? Okay. I'm envious of every single woman who has a uterus. Boom. Boom. Wow. And it's something most people don't even think about. No. Has your relationship with your body changed after motherhood? Because I know you've dealt with like body stuff. And now you're a mother and you obviously were like post-pregnancy during season. How do you feel about your body?

So I have to say that that hormone cortisol that happens when you're stressed out is a real thing in my life. So if I get stressed out, I start to feel it physically. everything that for any woman out there that is going through something that's mentally unhealthy don't underestimate like what it does to you internally I didn't like my body after I had a baby because the C-section scar is not pretty I the stress of the show made me feel like I was in a catatonic state postpartum you go through a lot of like emotional roller coaster and hormones um you know i've heard of women and like that just like sit and cry for a really long time so granted i do think i didn't

i feel lucky that i didn't have um anything that crazy but i do think that it takes like a year for you to start to like recognize your body again but don't freak out in the meantime like you know for example i was breastfeeding and pumping this one day I felt like my boobs like my nipple used to be on my breast line so like if I didn't have a brawn right now my nipple would sit right at the top

now it's right here so I was like okay bitch do you remember a time when you would call a plastic surgeon schedule a breast reduction lift and not care about anything else now you're more like no no no if they're going to drop they'll drop

if my stomach's not going to be flat it's not going to be flat when was it ever flat um you know stick to high-waisted compression leggings your high-wasted crop top fits are next level obsessed and page also told me because we were talking about your crop tops and she was like in person she said you are the littlest little keychain i know in your back pocket like i don't realize how tall people are watching but she was like you don't realize how tall people are watching but She was like, she's so tiny. Thank you. The main thing is I didn't, like, beat myself up when my body didn't look or feel like I wanted it to.

I was like, rescue yourself from negative thoughts. August of last year, like, probably four days before your birthday, on my exact birthday, the 16th, I started to say my affirmations out loud and write them down. and like often throughout the day, the gratitude, the affirmations, I would walk around and talk out loud to myself. I would have conversations with myself and I did this thing where I would clap my hands and be like, you got this. If I felt like I couldn't get out of bed, I would be like, today is going to be the best day. I have so much energy. I cannot wait to do this. And it was like the opposite of how I felt, but I literally, like, turned a switch in my head on.

You chipped your brain. I really did. And I just want, like, other people that maybe are not wired like this, like for confidence. Like, don't, like, play yourself. Don't fuck with your head. Don't, you know, like, don't do that, you know? Don't play yourself. I have to write, I have to, like, do it, make a tattoo of that.

Don't play yourself. What are you? glutness about the um the bud light right in the beginning of the day no i'm kidding um we don't judge we don't judge in hell good good conversation with good friends um after the baby goes down i do like to tune in to something that i can like tap out mentally i like my routine um i like my car like driving in it um i'm probably like even during quarantine about i'm bluttness about my suit like my my suit sets what do we call our little like trainer jogger sets oh yeah like the the dream that i had on my vision board maybe like five or ten years ago was i always

imagined a backyard a Sunday, a Saturday or Sunday barbecue in my backyard where I just had my pot of friends. I was going to be in the suburbs exactly where I am now. And I just wanted that quality of life where we like worked for it, earned it, you just have like the good people around you. I mean, I feel like gluttony should be something really bad though for me. I do, I do rely heavily during quarantine on peanut butter pretzels but since sometimes they don't have enough peanut butter inside i like put a little scoop of a jar putting peanut butter on top of peanut butter pretzels i think it's gluttony to perfection and now i need to stuff my face with them when is the last time you experienced extreme wrath so got really pissed off at something or someone at the

reunion who i cannot wait to watch because yeah there seems like so many much unfa much unfa finished business at the end of the there still will be to be honest there still will be at least you have to live in a house with them no god no you don't have locks on your doors who is the one that would sleep who would who is the one that would cry in the closet lindsay okay poor lindsay or yeah no lindsay she'll she'll be okay she's strong um yeah yeah when's the last time you let your pride to get in the way of something. With my husband, every time, like, tells me

that I'm not prioritizing something the way that he would want. And I start foaming at the mouth because I'm like, you guys are my only priority. Like, how can you not see that? Like, all I do. And like that he cares so much to be, like, care more. Like, at least he has a high standard. Nice spin.

Nice spin. Are you his publicist? I'm too much Tommy. I love Tommy. Too bad he doesn't have a brother, then we could be sister-in-laws. Oh, and he's Italian, right? So you, it'll be perfect. I'll manifest something.

Final question. When was the last time you lusted over someone besides Tommy? Like, do you have a quarantine celebrity crush? He's not famous. He came to me in my dreams. I felt so guilty when I woke up. but there was like this chef guy who um was just really really fucking funny and would like drink and cook and stuff and so i close my eyes had a dream it was wild and i woke up and i looked

over at my husband and i was like oh no i virtually cheated it but it's true you don't want to ever like marry a chef they're out of their minds they're so selfish they're like world revolves around them who wants that yeah and the food it's not worth it at the end of the day um no so to wrap this up you have been iconic amazing everything i knew you would be but i want to end giving the little devil some advice of what did what do you do to cope with your hell i like sorry i was just going to have a bud light burp but that's not happening i'm not letting it happen stopped it okay i have to be really I have to be really like simple about consistency about like the little things like if I need a shower jump in the shower if I need to um like I said like right here if I need to crack open a

but light to get me through it because I have to tell you I dropped wine I don't drink hard liquor and I just feel like this has helping it's probably why you can keep like the weight off too because the other stuff has so many sugars and it's just like dragged see down um i i have i like my thing is i set up little look forwards like my day is a capsule of compartmentalized time so i'm like okay what are you going to do now you're going to make sure that you like the outfit that you're going to go on that hike so then i like feel cute i will buy the pants that have the bicycle shorts that has the cell phone pocket on the side because it makes me happy um i will um just make my

environment as happy as possible from morning till night. So then I keep planning the next move that I'm going to make. And I like have like happy things like whether it's my peanut butter pretzel or if it's going to be like below deck med. And then I know like I can have like a conversation like a really good quality conversation with a friend or I'll do like a like a mask type of a thing or I'll go like you're like a self-care queen. Well if I want, Like, you have to get through your day, right? And you have to, like, I also, like, spend half my time in the kitchen. I have so many hangnails because I'm cooking and cleaning for those people.

And, like, I cuss a lot, too. Because, like, sometimes, like, when he walks away, I, like, give him, like, double birds. I do. Is cathartic. Just don't keep it in. Don't keep it in. Let it out is Armato. And don't play yourself.

And change up your lip liner. Yes. Benefit. I switched from Anastasia to benefit for the brow pencil. What about lip liner? So I like NYX. I like different Macs, but then there's this other brand that is from Amazon only. It's God knows what it is, but I'll send it to you. I just was like, and there's Jane Erdale. There's like, I don't know, Huda. I just change it up. So those little things like make me. be so happy like you would think like no it's what's what's a lip liner going to do for you lots of little things of you yourself and i i'm so happy for you i've sensed like being a mom and being in a family and growing it's just it's beautiful to watch and you also are still a badass entrepreneur doing your damn thing where can people follow you or do whatever you're up to yes so for the real good, good. You go to Mercedes Javid on all platforms, an occasional Snapchat. It'll get

really exclusive on Snapchat because it's really far and few between. Yeah, but Mercedes Javid. Mercedes Javid. Well, thank you so much for coming to hell and I'll talk to you guys later.